If you’re still not satisfied with the numerous apologies offered to Iraqis and Arabs by President Bush, Donald Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Carrot Top, and every other person of note in the US, and you bear the guilt for every oppressed microbe in the universe on your conscience, here’s your chance to personally abase yourself before the Arab world by signing a petition directed to Al Jazeera: Apology to the Iraqi People Petition.

Dear Iraqi People,

There are many of us here in the United States who never supported this war, and there are many others who have come to learn, in the past year, what a horrible idea it was. There are many of us who still actively oppose it, and others who are waiting for the November elections in the desperate hope of removing George Bush from office.

However, too much damage is being inflicted right now - to all of us - but most importantly to you. There is little the average American citizen feels she or he can do to significantly alter the day-to-day effect of the war, and the havoc it is wreaking on your lives. But we must try somehow. We must begin to repair the damage, even as you are repeatedly wounded, in body and spirit, every day. We must do whatever is in our power to help you heal.

The first thing we must do is apologize.

We, the signatories of this petition, want to express our deepest, most heartfelt, and sincere sorrow for the violence, destruction, aggression, and injustice.

We know that this letter is a very small gesture in the face of the enormity of our present circumstances, but we hope this apology will be the first step towards repaying what we know will be a long-term debt.

With open hearts and bowed heads we offer you this.

Sincerely,

Now, don’t you feel 110% better?