On the campaign trail, John Kerry recently visited Wisconsin in order to “connect with rural voters.”

This, of course, results in the sort of rich comedic hypocrisy only possible when a hyper-wealthy educated-in-Europe aristocrat tries to dumb it down for the little guy.

Michael Klein, writing for the Eau Claire Leader-Telegram, skewers Kerry pretty well for his absurd poetic soliloquy on the joy of plowing the sacred furrowed fields.

Kerry’s attempts to connect with rural Midwesterners seemed somewhat forced, as he said he learned his first “cuss words” from a guy driving a tractor.

“When I was 12 years old, my passion was being allowed to go out and sit on the John Deere and drive it around the fields and plow. And I learned as a kid what it was like looking back and see those furrows, and see that pattern and feel a sense of accomplishment, and end up dusty and dirty and tired, but feeling great, looking back at that field that you’d plowed,” he said, according to the Reuters story.

The Massachusetts senator, of course, is a wealthy diplomat’s son who spent part of his youth in Swiss and New England boarding schools before attending Yale University.

And a letter to the Leader-Telegram points out another Kerry howler, about the joy of outsmarting the wily deer. (Hat tip: Dave the…)

I read about Sen. John Kerry’s recent tour of the Midwest in his attempt to connect with rural Americans.

He was asked if he thought it was important for Democrats to affirm the right to bear arms. He said, “No, I think it’s important for people to be who they are, I’m just being who I am. I’ve gone deer hunting and duck hunting long before I thought of getting into politics. I support the Second Amendment.”

Which way is it?

He was asked, after trapshooting in Holmen, what kind of hunting he preferred. His answer, “Probably, I’d have to say deer. It’s tough, depending on where you are. I go out with my trusty 12-gauge double barrel, crawl around on my stomach, I track and move and decoy and play games and try to out smart them. You know, kind of play the wind.”

I’m no expert, but I’ve hunted deer for 20 years. I also asked some avid deer hunters, guys who sit from dawn until dusk, live in deer camps without running water, and use outdoor toilets. Never have they heard of “crawling around on my stomach” to bag a deer. It’s obvious this guy hasn’t hunted a deer in his life! It should also be obvious this character will say and do anything to “connect” with voters!

Gun owners should beware. The voting record of this man is inconsistent with his quotes.

Someone should have asked him what he wears for footwear when hunting. I guarantee it wouldn’t have been “Iceman boots” from La Crosse Rubber Mills; it would have been “flip-flops” from Boston!

HUGO HACKBARTH

Eau Claire