Anne Bayefsky introduces us to the graders of the global test.

Let’s sum up the rules of the U.N. game as set out by its most ardent fans from France to Cuba over September’s festivities:

(1) Democracy is the governing principle between countries (read outvoting the United States), regardless of the rights of actual inhabitants.

(2) International measures to insist on democracy within states constitute unacceptable interference in a state’s internal affairs.

(3) Nuclear non-proliferation is O.K. in theory provided it won’t be put into practice until Israel and the United States are weapons-free, and any pressure in the meantime is oppression of developing countries.

(4) The only acceptable contributions of developed countries to the affairs of developing countries are cash donations.

(5) Terrorism is defined as harming one’s friends, so Israelis are fair game.

(6) Israel is the greatest threat to world peace.

(7) Sudan should be commended for its role in reducing the spontaneous humanitarian crisis within its borders and anything but minute numbers of friendly neighboring forces would be an illegitimate interference in Sudanese sovereignty.

(8) The U.N. is the centerpiece of all legitimate international action concerning peace, security, self-defense, and the war against terrorism.

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan works well at the top of this heap. He opened this year’s Assembly by drawing moral parallels between the ongoing acts of unrepentant terrorists in the name of religion and the isolated acts of American soldiers condemned and punished by their countrymen. Annan said: “[W]e see civilians massacred in cold blood and…non-combatants…taken hostage and put to death in the most barbarous fashion. At the same time, we have seen Iraqi prisoners disgracefully abused.” In his address, Annan named only one country in the world as violating international law through the “excessive use of force.” You guessed it: Israel.