Raging BDS at Pasadena Weekly

Charles Johnsonfollow me on twitter
Mon Dec 13, 2004 at 4:51 pm PST • Views: 219

Courtesy of the Pasadena Weekly’s Dean Opperman, who is suffering from an especially virulent case of Bush Derangement Syndrome, here’s a comprehensive grocery list of barking moonbat talking points: A liberal’s final wish. (Hat tip: bibliocat.)

This one is a real hoot. Nazi cowboys! Diebold! Nike! Enron! Vietnam! QUAGMIRE! Corporations raping the environment! Fox News! All here, and more. It parodies itself.

I’ve found it hard to feel proud of America since you first took office. I was among the millions who were appalled when you morphed the home of democracy into a rogue nation endorsing the kind of preemptive war that characterized the Nazis. I don’t want a Cowboy-in-Chief roaming the world in search of convenient villains on which to impose gunslinger justice. There’s a place for that in an episode of “Gunsmoke,” but in today’s world we have the United Nations to resolve international disputes. It took World War II and the deaths of 53 million people to create that institution; it seems a waste to disregard that so you can play Judge Roy Bean.

Your West of the Pecos diplomacy has created a trickle-down paranoia that is ruining the neighborhood. We are becoming a dog-eat-dog, everyman-for-himself nation of fair-weather friends. That’s what happens when the PATRIOT Act makes enemies of librarians and when the Pentagon begins probing our emails. There are other ways to track Al Qaeda without having to know everything about me going back to those X-ray specs I ordered from the back of Boys’ Life.

I know we don’t agree. After all, I am a liberal — by your definition, a godless feminist heathen running an abortion clinic in my kitchen and a gay wedding chapel in my garage. Hey, in today’s economy, a guy’s gotta make a buck. But rest assured that I am no atheist. I know there must be a God. With you in the White House, if there wasn’t, we’d surely be dead by now.

So, on behalf of liberals everywhere, and with all the Viagra of progressive thought I can muster, I extend this salute. I offer it with my best wishes and the sincere hope that all who made your victory possible will someday share your deep convictions, both federal and state.

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 Frank says:

There will never be a nuclear war; there's too much real estate involved. -- Zappa on the Tonight Show, C.A. 1988