Iowahawk says he’s trying to quit but he’s been dumpster-diving again, out behind the Mall of America, and he came up with the first draft of Nick Coleman’s attack on Power Line.

OOOH, TIME MAGAZINE BLOG OF THE YEAR! I AM SO FREAKING IMPRESSED… NOT

By Nick Coleman
Star-Tribune

The end of the year is a time to bury the hatchet, so congratulations to Powerline, the Twin Cities blog that last week was named Time magazine’s “Blog of the Year!”

Now let me get a new hatchet.

That’s a veiled warning, readers, because Sensei Nick is about to unleash a flurry of professional journalism hatchet-fu on the so-called “Blog of the Year,” which will soon be begging for mercy from my metaphors of fury.

Trust me. It won’t be pretty.

Ready? Last chance, because here it comes. Starting with the next paragraph.

These guys pretend to be a little litter of adorable watchdogs. In fact they are mangy, rabid, cross-dressing Rottweilers bred in a filthy hillbilly puppy mill behind Roger Ailes’ trailer park. Oh sure, they’re advertised as “free to good family,” but soon these Halliburton hellhounds are attacking the innocent postman of the Mainstream Media, ripping the carpet of fairness, and leaving a big steaming pile of right-wing agenda on the sofa of objectivity. It’s time we in the legitimate media take these blog mongrels out back and teach ‘em a little lesson in journalism — Old Yeller style.

They are funded by millionaire power brokers. They should call themselves “Powertool,” because they don’t speak truth to power. They just speak for power. Or maybe they should call themselves “Powerpill” because they make GOPAC-Man chase the media ghost around the internet computer maze. Another clever name I might suggest is “the Powerpuff Ghouls,” because of the one cartoon show, or also “Might Murdock Power Rangers.” The important point to remember here is that unlike amateur bloggers, we professional journalists can come up with many devastatingly hilarious names.