Chutch, Hawaiian Style!
Charles Johnson
Wed Mar 16, 2005 at 1:29 pm PST • Views: 268
Iowahawk brings us another lost episode from the TV channel that time forgot, starring Jan-Peter Bronston in Chutch, Hawaiian Style!
SCENE III: HONOLULU TARMAC
(Chutch, Zapata and Cranstons descend jet stairs to receive leis)
HAWAIIAN GREETER GIRL: Aloha!
CHUTCH: Keep your flowers, you sickening prostitute of white empire. You are a disgrace to your noble warrior ancestors.
TAMMY: Wow, Chutch! Not only do you stick it to The Man, you can stick it to The Woman, too!
DAD: There’s never a dull moment around you and Zapata, Chutch — I’ll say that much! I think you taught an entire semester of Arapazowee history to the kids on the flight over.
CHUTCH: Yes, and there is much to learn here as well. I would also be happy to give your children a personal history tour of Hawaii.
MOM: Gosh, that’s very nice of you Chutch, but….
TIMMY: Can we Mom? Pleeeeeease?
MOM: Jim, I’m just not sure…
DAD: You saw how good he was with the kids, Helen. Besides, with Chris and Rhonda headed off to college next year, I think they could learn a lot from a real honest-to-goodness professor like Chutch. I think the experience would be, how do the kids say it? “Gravy!”
RHONDA: Groovy, Dad. Honestly!
CHRIS: Does this mean we all can go?
DAD: Yes. You too, Maxine. You can keep an eye out for everybody.
MAXINE: Aye aye, Mister C! Come on Chief, let’s you, me and that krazy kittycat get this Wanamulahula luau shakin’!
CHUTCH: I swear by the Great Spirits that I am going to kill you.
(kids, Chutch, Zapata and Maxine leave)
Frank says: