The Case of the Exploding German Toads

Charles Johnsonfollow me on twitter
Tue Apr 26, 2005 at 3:48 pm PDT • Views: 322

Science is baffled. Mystery of the German exploding toads. (Hat tip: Beagle.)

Toads in an area of northern Germany are being killed off by a mysterious disease - they are exploding. Thousands of the amphibians have died in recent days in a pond in Hamburg’s Altona district, with their bodies swelling to bursting point.

The toads’ entrails are propelled for up to a metre (3.2ft), in scenes that have been likened to science fiction.

Scientists are baffled. [Baffled, I say. —ed.] Possible explanations include a unknown virus or a fungus in the pond.

Have these so-called scientists considered the possibility that the toads are humiliated and oppressed by centuries of colonialism and the German occupation, and are striking back with the only weapon they have … their own entrails?

Do they get 72 virginal tadpoles in toad heaven?

I could keep going, but I’ll stop now.

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 Frank says:

We'll get back to the wimp, and his low-budget conception of personal freedom, in just a moment -- Thing-Fish.