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 RetweetDaily Kos Master Plan Countdown

Tue, Aug 23, 2005 at 3:24:08 pm PDT

Number of days until Markos “Screw Them” Moulitsas Zuniga unveils his top secret plan to destroy the Democratic Leadership Council:

13

 

“DLC, you just aren’t evil enough, you’re semi-evil, you’re quasi-evil, you’re the margarine of evil, you’re the diet soda of evil, just one calorie, but not quite evil enough.”

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209 comments

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1 Slo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:24:59pm

lol, what a weasel.

2 dcbatlle  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:27:22pm

hahaha!

3 rabid fanatic  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:28:23pm

Democratic friendly-fire. Is there anything sweeter than that?

4 Kragar (proud to be Kafir)  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:28:34pm

#1 Slo

Do the weasels have laser beams on their head?

5 rabid fanatic  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:29:32pm

#4 Kragar

That's "frickin" laser beams...

6 Powderfinger  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:30:18pm

When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die!

7 Stormy70  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:30:30pm

Pass the popcorn and the beer!

8 Austin Conservative  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:32:40pm

Man, is MarKOS butt ugly or what?

9 drfoo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:32:44pm

Shhh... Nobody tell him that the DLC is more in touch with American voters than the firngy, wacko left.

Damn, Did I make myself Hitler for pointing that out?

10 mbruce  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:32:52pm

While the thought of a schism in the Dems party sounds ever so delightful,I am worried that McCain will divide the Repub vote in '08.

11 aunursa  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:33:12pm

Damn, the evil Karl Rove is pure genious. What a diabolical plan ... getting the Kos Kidz to destroy the Democratic Party from within.

12 Cali White Bear  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:33:14pm

Is that "Screw Them's" face? what a smug looking dude.

throw me a frikking bone here, people.

need the info.

13 Austin Conservative  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:33:43pm

Charles,

You need to photoshop the hair off him for a proper Dr. Evil.

Bwahahahaha

14 Rick Moore  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:33:54pm

I can't wait 'til this hits zero. It's going to be good...

15 Fjordman  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:34:03pm

OT, from Islam Online. Read what London Mayor Ken the Hun's best buddy Yusuf Al-Qaradawi thinks about Jerusalem:

The Sacred Duty of Defending Jerusalem

Jerusalem is not for the Palestinians only, but for all Muslims, be they Arabs or not. It is a city for all Arabs, be they Muslims or Christians. Therefore it is incumbent on Muslims, wherever they may be, to shoulder their responsibility of defending Jerusalem and Al-Aqsa Mosque. This is an obligation for them all. They are to jointly defend it, offering in the process their lives, their money and all they possess, or else they will be subject to Allah's punishment.

France Backtracks on Mass Deportation of Imams

The French Ministry of Interior has backtracked on plans that would have seen “radical” imams deported en masse and opted for a case-by-case evaluation, well-placed sources have told IslamOnline.net. “The ministry fears that the mass deportation would backfire at the end of the day,” the sources, who requested anonymity

16 Beagle  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:34:06pm

If Markos would just let his facial hair grow out he could make a passable Che. Then his following would do whatever he commands. It's hard to be truly evil unless you follow the example of great evil-doers of the past.

Saddam: copied Stalin's moustache. Saddam managed to buy the UNSC and almost restarted his WMD programs with billions in OFF money stashed away. He was one invasion away from getting away with the biggest scam in history.

Think big, Markos!

17 bp sf  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:34:17pm

Careful now.

There's "only like 2 or 3 people with his skillz set."

(that jpeg hurt my grafix card & monitor)

18 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:34:41pm

I just know that image is going to disturb my sleep tonight. Stop Charles - I beg you. ;-)

19 Yehudit  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:34:53pm

I would leave this in the "Inside 9-11" thread, but that's way too long.

Much idiotarianism among the talking heads who appeared in the film.

20 Kragar (proud to be Kafir)  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:35:01pm

5 rabid fanatic

SILENCE! I will not tolerate your insolence!

Where's a henchmen wearing a quasi futuristic jumpsuit to liquidate your foes when you need one?

21 indolene  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:35:24pm

Hmm... Kos and Karl both start with the letter "K".

Conspiracy?

...buy the book.

22 Buckaroo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:35:24pm

# 10 m

No worries -- McCain has already alienated a plurality of the folks who supported him in '00. By '08 it will be a clear majority ...


CHARLES -- do you have enough Austin powers quotes saved up for the whole 2 weeks?
:-)

{The beauty of 3 movies to choose from, I suppose}

23 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:35:53pm

#13 Austin

Nooo!

24 Slo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:36:58pm

HAHAHAHAHHA!

That pic is *priceless*

Mmmm, diet lime Pepsi through the nose... lovely.

25 centaur  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:37:30pm

His Plan? He'll call them fascists. That'll show 'em.

26 Cato the Elder  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:37:40pm

He does look like a moron, doesn't he?

Maybe it's because he DOESN'T READ BOOKS!

27 quark2  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:37:56pm

Fug-a-ly!

28 RadicalRon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:39:05pm

A rather odd-looking dude, Komrade Kos. But the Chairman Mao jacket fits him well.

29 gymnast  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:39:17pm

This is going to be a significant disapointment to the DLC. The five remaining rank and file Dems will devastated to see their party turn into a smoking crater.

30 Kragar (proud to be Kafir)  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:39:23pm

Kos Speaks

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving head shop owner from Berkeley with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old hippie prostitute named Moonflower with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

31 religion of bacon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:39:57pm

"The moderates were insolent... I had them liquidated."

32 Elcid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:40:34pm

This little prick...all I have to type. Well other then this extraneous shit explaining.

33 centaur  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:41:46pm

slacker chestnuts

34 Kragar (proud to be Kafir)  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:43:36pm

Kos having a heart to heart with his offspring:

Kos Jr: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.

Kos: A liberal vet?

Kos Jr: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.

Kos: A liberal petting zoo?

Kos Jr: You always do that!

35 Lizard by the Bay  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:44:31pm

Semi-OT:

[Link: www.jareeedo.com...]

Enjoy!

36 Dave the.....  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:44:56pm
He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.


Yes, everyone knows I invented the question mark.

Dave?

37 militarybrat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:44:57pm

This made me shoot snot twice already!

38 foreign devil  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:45:25pm

Oooo it's mini-Kos!

39 Elcid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:46:54pm

According to Fox News Brit Hume..."grapevine" segment, a Californian who happens to be Palestinian, received a credit card promo from, JP Morgan/Chase addressed to, 'Mr. Palestinian Bomber'...JP Morgan/Chase apologized.

40 BulgarWheat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:47:20pm

alright, who stole Markos'Mojo? I'm serious, give it back! This isn't funny, giver Markos back his Mojo!

/sarc

41 Spiny Norman  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:47:31pm

#36 Dave the...

He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.

Yes, everyone knows I invented the question mark.

Dave?

Dave's not here.

42 Fjordman  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:47:40pm

Sorry 'bout the OTs, but I'm on a fatwa roll today. Are these questions sent in just to pull their leg? I sometimes wonder. Notice it's the same person in both questions:

How to Repent Having Anal Intercourse

Dear scholars, As-salamu `alaykum. I want to ask about one who has done anal sex with his wife without knowing that it is haram but after knowledge he feared Allah and promised to not do it again. What should he do? Does he have to fast for a period or anything else? Please answer in detail.

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said “Allah is not too shy to tell you the truth: do not have intercourse with your wives in the anus.” Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto,Ontario, Canada, states: Anal sex is undoubtedly forbidden in Islam. There are authentic traditions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explicitly forbidding it. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said, “Do not enter women through their rear ends.”

Having Doubts About Releasing Urine

Dear scholars, As-salamu `alaykum. Sometimes, during salah (Prayer), I suspect that urine has come out of my private part. But after salah, when I check it, I see no sign of urine. Do I need to perform salah again assuming that the little amount of urine has actually dried up when I checked after salah? Jazakum Allah khayran.

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “If during of the course of Prayer one doubts whether his wudu’ is broken or not, he need not leave the place (to renew wudu’) unless he senses some foul smell or hears the sound (of passing gas).”

43 Kragar (proud to be Kafir)  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:50:31pm

Kos: As you know, every diabolical scheme I've hatched has been thwarted by Karl Rove. And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?

Kos Jr: Because you're a big dope?

44 Catttt  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:50:47pm

Charles, Charles, Charles.

Lol.

45 Elcid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:50:55pm

Excuse #39, it belongs upstairs.

46 Spiny Norman  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:51:28pm

#42 Fjordman

“If during of the course of Prayer one doubts whether his wudu’ is broken or not, he need not leave the place (to renew wudu’) unless he senses some foul smell or hears the sound (of passing gas).”

Thanks for brightening my day renewing my wudu’.

=^D

47 shatterglass  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:52:25pm

I knew those nude photos of Al From would come in handy someday ... and they said I was crazy for sneaking into the petting zoo after midnight. BWA HA HA HA HA!

48 whiterabbit  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:52:33pm

#38 foreign devil No, more like mini-moron!

49 Buckaroo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:53:15pm

# 42 F

OK, ya can't put it into your wife's, but you can but it into your goat's ...

/all you need to know about Islamism in one sentence ...

50 Kragar (proud to be Kafir)  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:53:43pm

Question:

If Kos is Dr. Evil, does this make Oliver Willis Fat Bastard?

51 Buckaroo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:54:44pm

# 50 Kra

"Yaah! I'm Damn sexy!"


ROFL!

52 Black George Bush  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:55:21pm

The suspense is killing me.

53 religion of bacon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:55:54pm

#42 Fjordman

“Allah is not too shy to tell you the truth: do not have intercourse with your wives in the anus.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said, “Do not enter women through their rear ends.”

How do you say "wink-wink nudge-nudge" in Arabic?

54 JollyFatMan  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:55:55pm

Well there's always the hope that Kos will take his kids and start their own party, sort of like a boil exploding off the donkey's rump.

Besides, the donkey might feel better afterward.

Say I think they could use some help. Anybody got a lance?

JFM

55 Malleus Dei  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:56:05pm

Since the DLC has been the only voice resembling reason within the Democratic Party in recent memory, of course the Hard Left wants it destroyed.

This destruction will insure that the Democratic Party's platforms and ideas will be determined only by the zealots and extremists of the Hard Left, who will generate more of the same kind of deranged platforms that recently made the American people show up at the polls in record numbers to vote in a Republican House, a Republican Senate, and a Republican President.

If the Hard Left does somehow take out the DLC (and I got an image of deranged Gothic skate punks attacking a law clinic when I wrote that), then they are automatically conceding the political center to the Forces of Good. Where's the downside for us in this? The Democrats will be getting only Hard Leftist, union, minority, lunatic, and ignorance-based votes, while we will be getting the votes from the Center, the Right, and that chunk of the moderate Left who are well-educated enough to know the Hard Leftism has brought the world the darkest chapters in its history. As a result, we would probably control the country for the next century.

This is too good to be true. Is Karl Rove behind this somehow?

By the way, we should stay completely out of this while they cripple themselves by destroying their centrist wing. I even suggest stopping the countdown.

56 religion of bacon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:57:31pm

#50 Kragar (proud to be Kafir)

Michael Moore is obviously Fat Bastard...

57 Buckaroo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:58:08pm

# 53 r o b

"wink-wink nudge-nudge in Arabic?"

Barnyard Ackbar!

:-)

58 Kragar (proud to be Kafir)  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 1:58:33pm

#56 religion of bacon

true, but was trying to keep it to bloggers.

59 Bob24  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:02:37pm

Absolutely hillarious picture. And quite justified given how absurd Kos' claim is.

60 tankdemon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:05:06pm

Now why would Kos want to get rid of the DLC? Without the DLC, there would have never been a Clinton adminis...

Never mind. Keep up the good work, you pinko bastid.

61 orson  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:05:46pm

#56 religion of bacon

You beat me to it. MM has always been fat bastard. Way before Kos.

62 Raziel (Troll Devouring Blader)  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:08:24pm

LOL

63 tankdemon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:10:26pm

So it's only 13 days left until the destruction of the DLC, and with it any hope of the democrats to ever be relevant. How many of you think that this has something to do with either the Roberts or the Bolton nominations?

64 Sarah D.  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:11:45pm

If the Democrats had an ounce of smarts, they would distance themselves as far as possible away from this idiot.

65 Charles  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:14:55pm

(By the way, I didn't create the picture -- it's a gift from Allah.)

66 mccleansan  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:15:02pm

ha!

67 Patrizio  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:15:15pm

LMAO @ new quote!

Charles, you're cratering the Kos...

68 Dianna  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:16:28pm

#64 Sarah D.

Oh, agreed. Doesn't Kos see that?

Whoops, I forgot, he's in the Bay Area. He really thinks he's middle of the road.

Is that...worrying?

69 DocDublU  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:16:32pm

We shall devise a plan to destroy the DLC that is so hideous, so diobolical, that we will be able to offer the Democratic candidate in 2008...

...one Miiillliion votes!

-sound of crickts-

What? Isn't a million a lot of votes?

70 Mr. E. Train  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:20:12pm

Mikey Moore to the average voter.."GET INTO MY BELLY!"

71 Dave the.....  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:23:27pm

#64 Sarah

If the Democrats had an ounce of smarts, they would distance themselves as far as possible away from this idiot.


They are sticking with MoveOn.org, CodePink, etc.

72 marcusa  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:23:29pm

ROFLMAO!

What else is there to say?

73 PollyPrissypants  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:26:12pm

OT
Attention San Diego area lizards:
CARAVAN TO SUPPORT TROOPS DUE IN SAN DIEGO
A caravan proclaiming support for U.S. troops and with the theme "You Don't Speak For Me, Cindy" comes to San Diego Wednesday at 8 a.m. with a rally hosted by KOGO's Roger Hedgecock in front of Newsradio KOGO studios at 9660 Granite Ridge Drive. The caravan began Monday, stopping in the hometown of Cindy Sheehan, the anti-war mother who has been leading a protest vigil outside President Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas. The caravan will continue on to Crawford where a pro-Bush rally is planned for Saturday.

74 Powderfinger  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:28:17pm

#56 religion of bacon

Maybe not!

Less of Moore?

You should gather your followers and visit him nightly. Bring some ice cream.

75 yochanan  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:29:58pm

he looks like the bastard son of the holy leader of the People's Democratic Republic of North Korea.

76 Crimsonfisted  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:33:55pm

#74 Powderfinger

Oh I wish I had not clicked that link! I am sooo sorry to know he is in Florida. And what a laudable goal, lose 12 pounds? Who will ever notice?

77 EddieP  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:34:44pm

They're going to put Howard Dean in charge of the DLC. Let him run both the DLC and the DNC.

I wasn't certain the Repubs could beat Hillary. With Kos' help, we should win the White House and pick up another half dozen Senate seats.

78 Spiny Norman  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:40:42pm

#65 Charles

(By the way, I didn't create the picture -- it's a gift from Allah.)

I kinda wondered that after his Hat Tip yesterday.

Coolest Photoshop I've seen in quite a while...

79 Powderfinger  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:40:50pm

#65 Allahu akbar!

80 marcusa  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:41:15pm

#56 Religion of Bacon,

On some Blogad somewhere I have seen just that. Michael Moore's head on a Fat B@$+@&* picture.

Talk about grotesque.

81 salfter  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:43:39pm

#3 rabid fanatic

Democratic friendly-fire.

I'd rather characterize it as red-on-red.

82 Kinetic  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:43:41pm

#55

Yes, it would be too good to be true.

Our government and process NEEDS competition. Competition of ideas and methods breeds excellence. I'd venture to say that the Democratic Party is not much competition at the moment. A LESS competitive Dem. Party would be worse.

There are SO many ideas the dems could advance. Immigration, taxation, drugs, a STRONGER military and STRONGER military response. Sadly, they are so beholden to fringe elements, this will never happen.

83 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:44:20pm

64 Sarah D.

If the Democrats had an ounce of smarts, they would distance themselves as far as possible away from this idiot.

You're forgetting where all of the demo money comes from: the lunatic fringe (and their puppeteers).

84 Rayra[deleted]  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:45:42pm
85 ColKurtz  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:46:15pm

14 days from now:

"Look, I've gotten a lot of emails from you guys asking what happened to the Master Plan. Well.. rest assured we have won. Even though it appears we've been totally ignored, through back-channel communications from Democratic leaders, I've been assured that:

* They were horrified at the prospect of being labeled "radioactive" by leftist extremists. They realize the country will soon be run by us enlightened intellectuals, and we will bring down corporations and The People will run the country (we'll figure out exactly what that means when we come to it).

* They said they now realize that fighting "terrorism" only begets more "terrorism", and that the way out of this "terrorism" mess (that George Bush creatd) is starting a dialouge with the Islamist Freedom Fighters.

* "George Bush is the Real Terrorist" is, after reconsidering, a brilliant theme for '08 and sure to win back the White House and Congress.

* Barbara Streisand's new politically-themed album will be a watershed moment in history, convincing scores of Conservatives that their philosophy is hollow.

"Again, the condescending tone directed at us from leading Democratic presidential candidates, and, moroever, the lack of any real press regarding the Master Plan, is all a ruse. If I may quote what one high ranking insider told me, 'whatever Matt... it really doesn't matter what you say or do'. This can obviously mean only one thing: they know our takeover is inevitable.

"The People Liberate Themselves!"

- Kos"

86 CareyOnly  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:46:23pm

Ooooh, I'm trying to contain my curousity.
*tap tap tap*
While I wait, I'll amuse myself on these comments. =)

87 Yanke Diver  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:49:30pm

#54 Jolly Fat Man

That opperation would require a full HAZMAT suite,complete with clean air supply.

YUCK!

88 Dar ul Harb  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:50:11pm
You know Dr. Evil, I have always thought you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.
89 reaganite  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:50:57pm

#84 Rayra

Their solution you ask? To have pubs stay open LONGER.

The funny thing was, when I lived there the pubs closed at 11pm (I don't know if it's still true), around 10pm everyone would start slamming drinks. Fights were the norm. It actually may work!

90 The Other Les  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:51:46pm

# 9 drfroo

Damn, Did I make myself Hitler for pointing that out?


No, but you can become a Hitler. Just send $19.99 to...

/This is too easy

91 CareyOnly  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:51:47pm

Oh, and thanks be to Allah for creating the pic.

(miss your daily writings)

92 Yanke Diver  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:53:20pm

#56 Religion of Bacon

TSK. TSK. Very politicaly incorrect to call the Pig Man a Fat Bastard.

93 Rayra[deleted]  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:53:45pm
94 religion of bacon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:53:58pm

Mark my words, this whole Kos Kountdown is going to conclude with a fizzle rivaling the time when Geraldo opened up Al Capone's vault on live TV. Charles' buildup will help to make it as anti-climactic as possible. ;)

95 CareyOnly  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 2:59:30pm

#94 religion of bacon

No! No!
Take it back.
;)

96 reaganite  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:00:11pm

#93 Rayra

I figured it was a diabolical plan to have them all pass out INside the pubs, instead of on the streets.

LOL. Really though, I saw much less fighting outside the nightclubs in the UK than the pubs. I don't recall the reason but nightclubs stayed open until 2 (IIRC). But most towns only had pubs.

97 religion of bacon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:01:46pm

#74 Powderfinger

As Laura Ingraham (peace and effective cancer treatments be upon her) pointed out this morning, you don't need to spend $3800 a week to lose weight.

Someone should call him out on it -- "Mr. Moore, why don't you just apply some willpower, and donate the $3800 a week to your local food bank?"

98 CareyOnly  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:08:32pm

Are they, (Kos and kids), the ones who proclaimed "they own the party now" or something to that effect?

(After they lost the presidential election but raised oh-so-much money)

99 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:11:20pm

Kragar


I'm crying. Those posts are hysterical.

100 AndyStevenson  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:11:40pm

I need to read the comments over here more often :)

101 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:12:55pm

Primus : Pork Soda
Pork Chop's Little Ditty
My Name Is Mud
Welcome to This World
Bob
Dmv
The Ol' Diamond Back Sturgeon (Fisherman's Chronicles Part 3)
Nature Boy
Wounded Knee
Pork Soda
The Pressman
Mr. Krinkle
The Air Is Getting Slippery
Hamburger Train
Pork Chop's Little Ditty
Hail Santa

Primus lyrics index
Primus sheet music
Primus guitar tabs
Primus bass tabs


Pork Chop's Little Ditty
Find this song on Sheet music, CD

Instrumental

back to top

My Name Is Mud
Find this song on Sheet music, CD

My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
>From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foort two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud

My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud so I've been told
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
My name is Mud

Primus

102 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:13:43pm

Wow...

Now my name is Mud...

103 david e  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:13:46pm

Well as I posted earlier, KOS has this backwards, first win the Chancellery then the Night of Long Knives...duh

104 Axe Wielding Liberal Paddler  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:16:45pm
“DLC, you just aren’t evil enough, you’re semi-evil, you’re quasi-evil, you’re the margarine of evil, you’re the diet soda of evil, just one calorie, but not quite evil enough.”

This is some seriously funny shit! The whole picture thing is the best! Those two combined made me laugh hard enough to drain the oxygen from the room! I sooo hope that this guy springs his "secret plan" and everything he wants to happen, happens.

That can only mean about 100 more years of Republicans in every major political office, tax cuts, Social Security Reform, school vouchers and dead terrorists. With the grown-ups in charge, the Republicans will rule the world BWAHA HA HA HA!

Sorry, got carried away there.

And the Countdown Continues...

105 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:17:04pm

102 Bubble Girl

Now my name is Mud...

And IIRC, you have a monkey brain, too...

106 SgtSongdog  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:17:12pm

#15 fjordman

This from my brother, who is more creative than I am:

Confused About Oral Sex With Camels

Dear scholars, Il Hamdu Allah! On Occasion, during caravan from Medina to KFI (King Fahd International Airport) where we planned to send some needed supplies to brothers on 'assignment abroad' the caravan was delayed by a sand storm one night. Thinking I had found my beloved wife Muwahhaha, I embraced her and gave her a deep kiss, in doing so, I took what I thought was her tongue in my mouth. When the sand storm cleared suddenly I found myself standing under our tallest camel, his name is Muhammad... anyway.. (subject is silenced with a wave of respondent's hand)...


The Messenger of Allah (peace and fertilizer be all over him) is reported to have said “Allah is anxious to tell you about supreme idiocy: Cleric Ayatollyah Beefora, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Caro, Michigan, (having nothing better to do) states: Oral sex with one's own camel is forbidden in Islam, except when doing so to confuse the Infidel. There are authentic traditions of the Prophet (peace and droppings be upon him) explicitly allowing it for such purposes. The Prophet (peace and manure be up his nose) is reported to have said, “Otherwise, do not have sex with your own camels, as they may be relatives, use your neighbor's.”

107 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:17:24pm

drrriiinnng ddrrriiinnnggg

Hello KOS 911...

We need help, fast, our party, it's sinking...

Hold on, speak slower... now what's your name?

Hill... ah... Connie

108 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:18:50pm

105 Earth2moonbat

 #105

Earth2moonbat  8/23/2005 05:17PM PDT

102 Bubble Girl

Now my name is Mud...
And IIRC, you have a monkey brain, too...

But I am the cutest monkey you will ever see!

Squeak!

109 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:20:30pm

108 Bubble Girl

But I am the cutest monkey you will ever see!

I'll bet you're one of those makaque cuties (wink, wink)...

110 savage_nation[deleted]  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:23:07pm
111 Athos  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:23:09pm

I'm sorry, but having Markos's stinking mug on Dr. Evil is really going too far.

1. Markos never went to evil medical school.
2. Dr. Evil is cool. (Come on, admit it) Markos is not.
3. Markos is barely capable of a brain fart, and we don't see his head so often - it's usually inserted so he can self-inspect his colon.
4. And most importantly - He's a freakin' idiot. Come on, now. Really.

112 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:26:23pm

109 Earth2moonbat

Whose your monkey?

Squeak squeak

113 david e  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:29:47pm

Is it getting a little steamy in here?

114 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:30:37pm

Kragar - come back!

115 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:33:43pm

112 Bubble Girl

Whose your monkey?

Squeak squeak

Now all we need is Bob's Kid to start explaining the anthropology of lipstick and boobs...

BTW don't you mean "Who's"?

116 christheprofessor  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:36:34pm

Can't really be steamy without the obligatory "spank the monkey" joke...

117 Powderfinger  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:36:39pm

Boobs?

118 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:36:42pm

114 Peach

 #114

peach  8/23/2005 05:30PM PDT
Kragar - come back!

You have made Kragar's day.. in fact, you have made Kragar's week.. ..

Kragar needs affirmation.

/LOL

119 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:37:49pm
 #116

christheprofessor  8/23/2005 05:36PM PDT

Can't really be steamy without the obligatory "spank the monkey" joke...

They have jokes about spanking monkeys? PETA must have something against that!

120 demoncrat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:38:09pm

He sure looks like a Demoncrat.

121 Sarah D.  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:38:24pm

Anyone nekkid yet?

122 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:39:10pm

115 Earth2moonbat

BTW don't you mean "Who's"?

Just for that, I am NOT your monkey...

squeak... squeak...

123 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:40:13pm

121 SarahD

Monkeys don't wear clothes...

124 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:42:22pm

122 Bubble Girl

Just for that, I am NOT your monkey...

There I go again. Can't control that snark...

/Please be my monkey, I'll be good. Or bad. Whatever you want...

125 christheprofessor  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:42:42pm

#119 Bubbles

They have jokes about spanking monkeys? PETA must have something against that!

Yup. They also flog the dolphin, choke the chicken, etc.

126 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:47:52pm

124 Earth2monbat

Ok, but you are on Double Secret Probation. And monkeys bite. Remember that.

Squeak!

127 Sarah D.  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:48:42pm

#123 Bubble Girl

Oh yeah?

128 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 3:52:49pm

126 Bubble Girl

And monkeys bite. Remember that.

You don't want me to continue with that...

129 Bob's Kid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:01:09pm
Now all we need is Bob's Kid to start explaining the anthropology of lipstick and boobs...

I am much too dignified to do that, ahem.

/liar

130 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:03:16pm

#118 Bubble Girl

Who is Kragar? I particularly liked posts #30 and #34. Those made my day.

131 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:04:40pm

129 Bob's Kid

Aw, c'mon! We're talking monkeys! Monkeys and monkey business! You can tie it all together...

132 smill1953  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:05:10pm

Markos reminds me of Minnie Me--quite creepy!

133 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:05:40pm

127 SarahD

I'm a monkey, what do I know?

/lame monkey excuse

134 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:06:41pm

133 Bubble Girl

I'm a monkey, what do I know?

Monkey business.

135 Sarah D.  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:07:34pm

#133 Bubble Girl

Uh, stay away from ears?

136 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:08:04pm
 #130

peach  8/23/2005 06:03PM PDT

 #118 Bubble Girl


Who is Kragar? I particularly liked posts #30 and #34. Those made my day.

Kragar is short, swarthy guy who lives with his parents. He is 43 years old and hasn't found the "right" woman yet. He likes to build castles out of tiny matchsticks and wears an aluminum tin foil hat.

/sad but true.

137 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:08:44pm

Kragar is so going to kill this little monkey!

LOL~~

138 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:09:51pm

#136 Bubble Girl

Hi there Kragar! You are talented - I almost didn't pick up on it...

139 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:13:26pm

138 Peach

NO! I am not Kragar! LOL~~

Kragar is cool, go back and click on his name and you can go to his blog... he is an ex-marine.. and he will kill me, probably tomorrow.

140 Johnny Bravo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:13:40pm

Come on, Baby!
Do the Monkey with me!

141 Bob's Kid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:15:42pm
Aw, c'mon! We're talking monkeys! Monkeys and monkey business! You can tie it all together...

I could, but as I have just heard that I am a great aunt for the second time, I am much to mature and dignified for that sort of thing.

Ahem.

(ah, who am I foolin'. Y'all know me way too well)

Doing the happy dance about a healthy baby, though.

142 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:15:56pm

Hey, Everybody!

143 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:17:00pm

140 Johnny Bravo

Wow, you speak monkey language...

LOL~~

144 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:17:23pm

Bob's Kid
Congrats on the new-comer!

145 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:17:47pm

141 Bob's Kid

Congrats on the news... now come on..

Do the Monkey Dance!

LOL~

146 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:18:31pm

142 Rebtex

Speaking of Evolution, everyone has an Inner Monkey...

147 Johnny Bravo  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:19:45pm

Bubble Girl
Whoa MOMMA!

148 Tanker J.D.  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:20:23pm

Would you like to pet my monkey?

149 Bob's Kid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:20:31pm

Thanks for the congrats, all. And if a monkey dance can be a happy dance, then I'm doin' it!

/white girls can't dance

/at least this one can't

150 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:21:11pm

BG
Inner monkey?
In terms of monkey...are there innies & outies?

151 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:23:28pm
 #148

Tanker J.D.  8/23/2005 06:20PM PDT

Would you like to pet my monkey?

Does he bite? Some monkeys are pretty mean...

152 Yankee Yankee Zulu  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:27:42pm

Yecch. Couldn't they put him back in the mother's womb?

153 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:27:56pm

BG
A Tamarin Monkey can get mean.
I really dig his hairstyle!
[Link: www.bbc.co.uk...]
.
.
.
.
But...How 'bout a Marmoset?!
[Link: cellar.org...]

154 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:31:17pm

146 Bubble Girl

everyone has an Inner Monkey...

Don't...they just might take you seriously, and start a pop psycology movement...

155 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:34:22pm

Earth2moonbat

This little monkey is kind of sad and has to leave.

156 dogt1957  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:34:44pm

Good luck Kos...but if I were you I'd stay away from public parks in the Washington area.

157 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:36:36pm

BG
Do I need a bath?!

158 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:37:46pm

Rebtex

No, it's not you. Don't ever think that.

159 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:38:13pm

Another plane goes down.
[Link: news.yahoo.com...]

160 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:40:51pm

Burbuja
Adios, Bonita!

161 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:41:21pm

155 Bubble Girl

Bye! And cheer up.

/You're a barrel of monkeys...

162 Tanker J.D.  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:42:21pm

Bubble Girl

Leaving so soon?

163 mich-again  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:42:53pm

Hey all y'all.

We got our vacation pictures prints in the mail from Snapfish today. Much to my wife and 11 year old's surprise they mixed in someone else's pictures with ours.

They were from a plastic surgeon in NY. A nice assortment of "before" and "after" pictures from his boob job clients. YIKES! DOUBLE YIKES!

(No, I'm not going to post them anywhere.)

164 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:45:35pm

Mich Again
You hit the Lotto & you've already forgotten your buddies?!
Dude!
.
.
.
.

165 mich-again  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:48:56pm

RebTex

It wasn't the lotto. It was the ___ prize.

(that was just too easy.

BTW, I haven't seen the finished pics of the hot rod. I want to see that proprietary color!

166 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 4:51:42pm

Mich Again
We're currently working on the computer wiring.
We're using the factory PCM & injection.
When she fires up, then we'll lay the paint!

167 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:02:34pm

#139 Bubble Girl

I thought I was so smart...had you made for Krager. So he's short and swarthy? Sort of like a...oh...a monkey?

;-)

168 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:10:52pm

Peach
Hey!

169 TotallySirius  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:13:30pm

he
hehe
hehehe
hehehehe

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

That pic

hehehehehehehehe

170 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:15:27pm

Hey RebTex -

I'm wearing my "Don't mess with Texas" t-shirt!

171 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:17:41pm

Peach
Great!

172 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:19:06pm

I'm thinking of trying out one of these.

173 Tanker J.D.  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:22:17pm

Red Dawn is on Spike... LOL memories of camp movies.

174 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:22:40pm

Peach
That might be just the ticket for duck huntin'!

175 Bob's Kid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:22:55pm

#172 Peachie...that is hilarious...reminds me of the rapelling nuns from a few months ago.

176 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:28:08pm

#175 Bob's Kid

I was a little worried about those poor jihadistettes, until I realized they do have signed permission slips:

Some of the women said they were married and had children. "Our husbands know that we are members of Izzaddin Kassam," said one."As for those who are not married, their brothers and fathers know about their activities."


Where is the repelling nun? Now that I must see.

177 Bob's Kid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:38:48pm
Where is the repelling nun? Now that I must see.

Well, they weren't nuns, but some sort of black-garbed force of, I think, Palestinian, female commandos or something. There is a video floating around the net that shows them shooting guns from cars and rapelling down the side of a building. It's hilarious.

Anyone know the link from that video?

178 beautifulatrocities  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:39:16pm

Wow, this is exciting because Days of Our Lives is so boring right now. I mean, how many times can Marlena have amnesia? I'm sure Hillary's shaking in her Manolo Blahniks.

(Hillary, chuckling to self over morning coffee: "Doesn't this kid know I've had people killed for less?")

179 not neo just conservative  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:39:28pm

The history books will show that Zuniga drew a paycheck directly from Rove.

180 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:42:38pm

177 Bob's Kid

It's probably on here somewhere.. The Iranian Women's Police Force Training Video... Charles had thread about them.

181 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:44:38pm

Look at this $hit!
Bill Richardson wants to destroy a city outside of the US!
[Link: news.yahoo.com...]
.
.
.
.
Aweful "democratic" of him, wouldn't you say?!

182 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:46:35pm

BG
Welcome back!

183 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:47:36pm

Rebtex

Hi Rebtex.

184 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:49:37pm
Well, they weren't nuns, but some sort of black-garbed force of, I think, Palestinian, female commandos or something.

They were Iranian cops!

185 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:49:53pm

BG
I had a refreshing tutoring session with my little one covering Euclidean Geometry.
How was YOUR day?

186 Bob's Kid  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:49:56pm
The Iranian Women's Police Force Training Video... Charles had thread about them.

Ah, Iranian? Couldn't remember. I don't see it obviously up there, though.

187 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:54:00pm

185 Rebtex

My day was quite nice. Did you end up ordering the book on the Mysterious Radio Waves?

188 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:54:58pm

BG
Yes
1st thing yesterday morning.

189 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:57:21pm

Rebtex

Let me know how you like it, I may order it too.

190 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:58:21pm

BG
Will do!

191 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 5:59:40pm

#181 rebtex

Well, between Bill Richardson and Pat Robertson the US is poised to take over Central and South America.

192 stevej  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:01:22pm

he looks just like the atypical idiot LLL weasel. very funny!

193 Earth2moonbat  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:01:54pm

Mysterious Radio Waves?

194 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:03:29pm

Peach
What I find ironic...
The demoncrats are claiming that was is wrong.
Here's a demoncrat that is wanting to cause a town to be erased that isn't even in the US!
I guess j f'n k isn't the only one that straddles a fence!

195 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:09:17pm

#194 rebtex

I'm constantly amazed at the Dems lack of introspection and hypocrisy. I should be used to it by now - it's the rule rather than the exception.
Another example is the Kelo ruling by SCOTUS. Don't the Dems present themselves as the champion of the common man...the little man? And there are the libs...giving the green light for wealthy corportations/businesses/people to steal land from private landowners. Way to go Democrats.

196 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:11:38pm

Regarding post #195

My post is sort of ambiguous. I should have written "hypocrisy and lack of introspection." The post reads as if I'm saying the Dems have a lack of hypocrisy, which clearly, is not the case.

197 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:12:43pm

Earth 2 Moonbat
It's called "The Underground Frequency Guide"
by David Schimmel

198 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:22:06pm

Peach
I feel the need to clarify this...
I'm NOT for un-checked immigration.
.
.
.
When Richardson was in Washington, he voted AGAINST immigration reform.
Now, he wants to be THE guy that ended immigration.
I don't think he should get both sides.
As I told a Bi-sexual once...Hey! Pick a side!

199 RebTex  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:24:46pm

Oh...If you havn't noticed...
I'm a Red Neck, so you might need to overlook some of my statements.

200 Bubble Girl  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:40:36pm

I am a brown neck...

so ...

201 adamthemadman  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 6:56:02pm

Best • Photoshop • Ever !

Fark that, b()tch!

202 Hari Seldon  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 7:33:52pm

I was looking through the site and I happened upon this little peice

[Link: www.dailykos.com...]

Now i disagree with him, but that his argument, that saddam wasnt' a threat and we are just making it worse, its a lot more logical then most lefites. Of coures its still wrong (and many of his kossacks are nuts) but it did raise my opinoin of him a tad.

203 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 8:05:02pm

#198 Rebtex

I was just kidding about the Robertson/Richardson thing. Actually, annexing Mexico might be a nice way to control illegal immigration. ;-)


P.S. - I'm from the north - but I live in the south...and I can outredneck the rednecks. Those are my kids in the yard in saggy diapers and no shirts throwing rocks at the house while I talk on the phone and the dog eats the hostas I just planted.

204 Malleus Dei  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 8:11:09pm

If the Democrats had an ounce of smarts, they would distance themselves as far as possible away from this idiot.

If the Democrats had an ounce of smarts? ROFL, even an ounce of smarts would be enough for them to realize that neither socialism nor pacifism have ever worked nor will they ever work, and that freedom and free markets always have worked and always will.

Which is to say that any Democrat who somehow actually got an ounce of smarts would remain a Democrat only for that brief instant it took him to change his registration to Republican.

205 peach  Tue, Aug 23, 2005 8:16:09pm

#205 Malleus Dei

You know that old saying -

If you vote Republican when you're young, you have no heart...if you vote Democrat when you're old(er)...you have no brain.

Half of it's true at least. ;-)

206 BingoBunny  Wed, Aug 24, 2005 4:24:48am

Nothing is sweeter then the sound of Demorats fighting in the morning.. keep us informed Charles. Sure won't see this stuff on MSM.

207 SlothB77  Wed, Aug 24, 2005 4:33:24am

Better: McCain or Hagel?

208 Piecemaker  Wed, Aug 24, 2005 6:41:47am

Oh! Do Darth Vader next!

You know, the scene where his helmet comes off in ROTJ?

That'd be PERFECT!

209 wannabe  Wed, Aug 24, 2005 8:29:37am

this thread is a scream,

so good to see so many Austin Powers afficionados congregated in one place


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