More Torture Horror Techniques
Charles Johnson
Tue Sep 19, 2006 at 10:54 am PDT • Views: 347
A world exclusive from Jim Treacher: Secret CIA interrogation techniques revealed!
America’s shame just keeps growing.
The Faux Shirt Stain: Interrogator points at suspect’s chest: “Look, you’ve got something on your shirt.” When suspect looks down, interrogator brings up index finger, tweaking suspect’s nose. Interrogator laughs. This grievous affront, a loss of honor in the eyes of Allah, administers massive psychic trauma to suspect. Repeat as needed.
The Urkel: Suspect is locked in room lined with 72-inch plasma screens showing non-stop Family Matters episodes featuring ‘90s “urban nerd” Steve Urkel. Longest recorded breaking time: 2.3 hours.
The Echo: Interrogator repeats all of suspect’s statements in snotty voice…
Suspect: All unbelievers will fall before the sword of Allah!Interrogator’s failure to be struck down instantly places suspect under extreme psychological stress. In case of emergency, interrogator may deploy Nyah-Nyah-Nyah Protocol.
Interrogator: [Flouncing about room in effeminate fashion] All unbelievers will fall! Before the sword! Of Allah! Who is my boyfriend! Pppbbbbbbhhht!!
Frank says: