Iowahawk’s Carbon Pyramid Scheme

Charles Johnsonfollow me on twitter
Wed Feb 28, 2007 at 1:13 pm PST • Views: 302

If your carbon footprint looks like a Sasquatch track, you can atone by joining Iowahawk’s new carbon-debt-canceling EcoPals Network: Repent, Sinners!

Earn Your Eco-Salvation the Quick and Easy Iowahawk Way

Are you concerned that your profligate personal lifestyle is harming the environment? Losing sleep over the long-term ecological damage resulting from those greenhouse gases constantly emitted by your family, your cars, your pets, and your shrubbery? Do you want to become carbon-neutral, but just don’t know how?

Well rejoice, sinner! Carbon atonement is no longer the exclusive preserve of the Malibu set — with the Iowahawk EcoPals Network! This unique new system lets you, the average Joe planet rapist, cleanse your tortured psyche of the stain of enviro-guilt for as little as $9.95 per year! If enough of you follow this simple three step program, we can save the world for our children — who will soon be frolicking with healthy polar bears atop Earth’s reforested glaciers. Act now before it’s too late!

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 Frank says:

Star Wars won't work. Star Wars won't work. The gas still gets through; it could get right on you. And what about those germs, now? Star Wars won't work.