After he invades Pakistan, and opens diplomatic relations with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Barack Obama will eliminate nuclear weapons.

CHICAGO - Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama on Tuesday called for ridding the world of nuclear weapons, arguing that U.S. policy is still focused on the defunct Soviet Union instead of combatting the nuclear threat from rogue nations and terrorists.

In a speech that also highlighted his early opposition to the Iraq war, Obama said he doesn’t want the United States to disarm unilaterally […he’s not quite that stupid. – ed.], but instead to work with other nations to phase out nuclear weapons and control nuclear material.

“The best way to keep America safe is not to threaten terrorists with nuclear weapons — it’s to keep nuclear weapons and nuclear materials away from terrorists,” Obama said.

Of course! It’s so simple. Why didn’t anyone think of this before?