The Playstation Police

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Mitt Romney’s not the only politician working hard to protect America from the pernicious effects of unregulated free-range video games: Clinton Would Crack Down on Computer-Generated Cartoon Sex.

Hillary Clinton is still outraged that Rockstar Games left a sexually-themed mini game nestled in its best-selling Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas in 2005.

You’ll recall the kerfuffle when the deactivated love scene was found buried in the code for the otherwise wholesome car jacking, cop-killing shooter. The unfinished mini-game featured clothed characters simulating sex acts. To access the scene, randy teens had to download and install a special patch developed by a Dutch coder, expending more effort than it takes to find real, human adult content on the web.

That all led some cynics to suspect Clinton of grandstanding when she called a press conference to denounce Rockstar and demand a Federal Trade Commission investigation into San Andreas. The ESRB re-rated the game to AO for “adults only,” raising the minimum age of purchase from 17 to 18 years old — a crucial year in which a teen develops the necessary psychological defenses to resist the Siren song of polygon porn.

But in a response to a questionnaire from the watchdog group Common Sense Media, Clinton reveals today that she still sees the affair as a victory for child safety. She describe her introduction of the doomed Family Entertainment Protection Act as a response to the “illicit” sexual content in San Andreas, and says, as president, she’d support regulation of the gaming industry.

“When I am President, I will work to protect children from inappropriate video game content,” she told CSM.

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Last updated: 2023-04-04 11:11 am PDT
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