Here’s the Chairman of the Arab Psychiatrists Association and head of the Department of Psychiatry at ‘Ein Shams University in Cairo, recipient of the 1990 Egyptian State Prize, offering a carefully considered professional analysis of George W. Bush:

“Your stupidity is reflected in your facial features. Your face reminds me of the face of those who frequent a clinic for the mentally retarded. Your gaze is mindless and unfocused. Your eyes are misleading. Your facial expressions are incompatible with the matter [being discussed], and your tone of voice is completely disconnected from the content of your words – a salient characteristic of the mentally retarded.”

“I do not want to exaggerate by saying that your case is similar to cases I see at the clinic for the mentally retarded. But the truth is, without exaggeration, that your IQ is limited. A very bright person’s IQ ranges from 130 to 140; a bright person’s IQ ranges from 120 to 130. A normal person’s IQ ranges from 110 to 120, while the IQ of stupid people ranges from 90 to 110. According to my personal judgment, and based on my 35 years of experience as a psychiatrist, your IQ is 110, and I challenge anyone who thinks otherwise.”

The culture that gave us algebra has developed a ground-breaking new method of classifying human intelligence: very bright, bright, normal, and schtoopid.

Our highly-placed Egyptian head shrinker also has an opinion on suicide bombing:

“When the martyr dies a martyr’s death, he attains the height of bliss… As a professional psychiatrist, I say that the height of bliss comes with the end of the countdown: ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. And then, you press the button to blow yourself up. When the martyr reaches ‘one,’ and then ‘boom,’ he explodes, and senses himself flying, because he knows for certain that he is not dead… It is a transition to another, more beautiful world, because he knows very well that within seconds he will see the light of the Creator. He will be at the closest possible point to Allah… None in the [Western] world sacrifices his life for his homeland. If his homeland is drowning, he is the first to jump ship. In our culture it is different…”

“[In the Western world], they have lost the ability to understand the situation… According to my professional assessment, they have lost their faculties.

And here are the fruitcake Freud’s crisis management tips for genocidal Arabs:

“There are no Israeli civilians. They are all plunderers. History teaches this… I am completely convinced that the psychological effect [of the attacks] on the Israeli plunderer is [the realization] that his existence is temporary… They have become completely convinced that their existence in this region is temporary… Remove the Apache [helicopter] from the equation, leave them one-on-one with the Palestinian people with the only weapon [for both sides] being dynamite. Then you will see all the Israelis leave, because among them there is not even one man willing to don a belt of dynamite…”

“On the strategic level, there must be a pan-Arab plan in order to reach our goal. The goal of all of us is to liberate Palestine from the Israeli aggressors. To use words that some people no longer like to use today: ‘We will throw Israel into the sea.’ This phrase, by the way, is the truth. Either they will throw us into the sea, or we will throw them into the sea. There is no middle ground. Coexistence is total nonsense…”

Now, aren’t you glad we’ve worked through all those issues, and gotten everything out in the open? Group hug!