yeah, it'll be like Canada, where Richard Warman and Warren Kinsella are trying to shut down conservative blogs

Like I said this morning on the DDT, I'm glad I didn't read that last night, before heading off to dreamland. Don't need nightmares like that.

Now that's a bedtime story (past midnight over here).

Unfortunately, can't listen to Rush much anymore.....

Associate Justice Gloria Allred

AAIIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

One time, Hillary had walked in on him in the Oval Office — no, not that time — and caught him listening to Rush.

Classic!

Oh, this humor column is about Obama -- so this comment I posted at the end of the previous dead thread is more appropriate here! Sorry for the repost if you've already seen it:

--------

In case anyone cares, I just added the final touch to my "Obama Visits Billionaires Row" report -- a video of Obama's motorcade arriving.

I also updated the report with the just-confirmed info that O's "bitter small-town Americans" speech was actually given about an hour afterwards and just a few blocks away at a different but very similar swanky fundraiser.

And I fixed a couple captions.

Full report here for those who missed it first time around.

Merely reflecting on what Obama has said he would do.

Besides, the party needed somebody to reach out to regular folks, somebody who could talk the talk, because Barry sure couldn’t do it. Man ate fried chicken with a napkin wrapped abound the leg so he didn’t get grease on his fingers. He had seen him do it. President Daintyfingers and Princess Ticked-Off.

Oh, that's just too much.

Positioned the Coast Guard to cut off Rush..........

That's about what it would take too!

What is scary is that some of that stuff will come true if the Obamamessiah gets in. The military will be destroyed as one of his first acts I am sure. He can't do it without Congress, but hey, with him in, they don't need to worry about a veto proof majority.

“It’s President Clinton. Or Ambassador Clinton.”

The kid sniffed. “Whatever.”

Heh.

Hope this stays fiction, but it's still pretty funny in the meantime.

OUtstanding.

George W.’s biggest concern was that Dan Rather was going to go off his meds again, coming ashore in a wetsuit and flippers, holding a conch shell aloft and screaming he had finally found the evidence.

Heh.

Rush is on a roll today.

Operation Chaos has swept the fruited plain.

re: #7 zombie

Did you also get my question from the dead thread too? Matier and Ross think you're with HuffPo.

I want to thank Chris Matthews for giving "tingle" the attention it deserves. It's a marvelous verb and a wonderful noun.

re: #12 Sharmuta

Heh.

Hope this stays fiction, but it's still pretty funny in the meantime.

I could see it more like, Mr. Secretary General Clinton.

George W.’s biggest concern was that Dan Rather was going to go off his meds again, coming ashore in a wetsuit and flippers, holding a conch shell aloft and screaming he had finally found the evidence.

I think thats a fear we all have.

Very interesting little piece. A fun little read.

re: #18 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

I think thats a fear we all have.

It's not a fear of mine. I just wish I owned the Movie Rights!

OMG!

To think I was gonna sit this election out -

Big Mac it is!

Unless, of course - He'll prolly bring back the fairness doctrine as well.

we're all doomed.

re: #17 tfc3rid

I could see it more like, Mr. Secretary General Clinton.

As the kid said, "whatever".

re: #15 laZardo

Did you also get my question from the dead thread too? Matier and Ross think you're with HuffPo.

Boy are they way off.

No justice. Hillary was a New York senator for life, and last week he was asked to show I.D. before they’d cash his check at the Baskin Robbins in Martha’s Vineyard. Meanwhile, George W., a.k.a., the luckiest man alive, lounged around his oceanfront hacienda in Mexico, fished for marlin, and blasted around the blue Pacific in his speedboat. Nights, he and Laura, who still looked hot hot hot, watched his baseball team, the Monterey Reconquistas. No problemo for that hombre. George W.’s biggest concern was that Dan Rather was going to go off his meds again, coming ashore in a wetsuit and flippers, holding a conch shell aloft and screaming he had finally found the evidence. If the facts don’t fit, you must acquit, Danno.

Heh.

When I first saw the phrase, "two cheerleaders", I thought, "Uh oh, where's this heading?".

/penthouse forum?

re: #15 laZardo

Did you also get my question from the dead thread too? Matier and Ross think you're with HuffPo.

I neither confirm nor deny any possibly extant rumors about who I may or may not be!

He forgot the part about the inevitable bloody civil war that would be raging across the country.

Ruth Bader Ginsberg High School, class of 2012

Ha!

Meanwhile, George W., a.k.a., the luckiest man alive, lounged around his oceanfront hacienda in Mexico, fished for marlin, and blasted around the blue Pacific in his speedboat. Nights, he and Laura, who still looked hot hot hot, watched his baseball team, the Monterey Reconquistas. No problemo for that hombre. George W.’s biggest concern was that Dan Rather was going to go off his meds again, coming ashore in a wetsuit and flippers, holding a conch shell aloft and screaming he had finally found the evidence.

Funniest thing I've read in months!

That's great!

re: #25 Ward Cleaver

When I first saw the phrase, "two cheerleaders", I thought, "Uh oh, where's this heading?".

/penthouse forum?

Nope -- it would have to have begun "I never thought this would happen to me ..."

re: #26 zombie

I shall keep that in mind.

With that, it's time for me to head back into the sleep chamber. G'night all!

Rush was the Clinton's greatest foil. They needed each other in a symbiotic strange fashion. That's what makes the humor of this piece work.

And the scary thing is that an Obama presidency could result in many of the things noted here.

Ruth Bader Ginsberg High School, class of 2012

I wonder what their football team would be called?

I have images of someone prying a descrambling radio from my cold, dead hands... good read

'He reached into his pocket, pulled out one of the new I’m Sorry pins. “This is for you, son.”

The kid looked at it. “Sorry for what?”

. To demonstrate fairness, Michelle would force Obama's grandmother would make the first public apology.

re: #33 bulwrk

Ruth Bader Ginsberg High School, class of 2012

I wonder what their football team would be called?

This is written as a fantasy of the extreme consequences of an Obama victory, but in Berkeley there is already a public elementary school called Malcolm X Elementary School.

Par for the course around these parts.

re: #30 Lucius Septimius

Nope -- it would have to have begun "I never thought this would happen to me ..."

"I am a former President and was touring a small mid-western univerisity..."

re: #5 MandyManners

AAIIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

"White House press secretary Chris Mathews"

/chronic RLS, anyone?

Well this was funny and well written, but I dare say that Iowahawk - who must be some kind of damned genius - woulda done it better.

And Oakland has a Nelson Mandela High School.

re: #38 Fat Jolly Penguin

"White House press secretary Chris Mathews"

/chronic RLS, anyone?

Nah... He's going to be Junior Senator from PA...

re: #32 lawhawk

Rush was the Clinton's greatest foil. They needed each other in a symbiotic strange fashion. That's what makes the humor of this piece work.

And the scary thing is that an Obama presidency could result in many of the things noted here.

Unfortunately, yes, it could. Not like this stuff hasn't happened before. In this, Obama would be following another president. No, not Jimmy Carter. He'd be following Woodrow Wilson.

Under Wilson, a lot of things were renamed (liberty cabbage, anyone?), and there was a lack of freedom of the press. People were put in jail for printing opinions that were contrary to the government and critised the war (WWI).

re: #30 Lucius Septimius
Hey my friend - don't know if you had a chance to see it, but I responded to you at #322 on the prior thread and that post actually made it through!

Ferrigno, huh? He's come a long way since The Incredible Hulk.

re: #33 bulwrk

Ruth Bader Ginsberg High School, class of 2012

I wonder what their football team would be called?

Ginsberg Goatlovers

re: #46 VegasRick

Don't want to be center on that team.

re: #45 allah this

Ferrigno, huh? He's come a long way since The Incredible Hulk.

That was my first thought too. Someone play the sad walking away music!

re: #33 bulwrk

Ruth Bader Ginsberg High School, class of 2012

I wonder what their football team would be called?

Football? That'll be banned. Too violent. Too competitive.

re: #38 Fat Jolly Penguin

"White House press secretary Chris Mathews"

/chronic RLS, anyone?

LOL!

Oakland also has the "Robeson School of Visual & Performing Arts" which is a public school named after a communist (Paul Robeson).

re: #44 buzzsawmonkey

Well, it probably is like the prison Mandela spent so many years in.

And I would bet many of the students spend more years in it than the standard four.

What? And crush their self esteem?

re: #30 Lucius Septimius

Nope -- it would have to have begun "I never thought this would happen to me ..."

How would you know? ;-)

re: #43 realwest

Saw it; dealing with cranky kids at the moment.

Hadn't seen the actual paper; one thing about editorial pages -- it's amazing how many times they contradict themselves.

re: #49 MandyManners

Football? That'll be banned. Too violent. Too competitive.

Oh, no, they still have teams, of seven players, three boys, three girls, one undecided. Games are not actually played, but a negotiated settlement is published every Friday night.

re: #44 buzzsawmonkey

Well, it probably is like the prison Mandela spent so many years in.

And I would bet many of the students spend more years in it than the standard four.

RACIST!

They are coming to take you to the Michelle Obama Reeducation Camps...

re: #55 itellu3times

One in seven? That many? Wow!

re: #57 unreconstructed rebel

One in seven? That many? Wow!

They all play both ways.

re: #54 Lucius Septimius
Wow, that's amazing - that you saw it, I mean. Cranky kids aren't amazing, just a part of parenting!
Um, didn't you say the other day that you were going to be sending me an e-mail, or am I just having another "senior moment"?!

Hi fellow Lizards. I'm a newbie so be kind. Just honored to be on a thread with the new Founding Fathers.

re: #36 zombie

This is written as a fantasy of the extreme consequences of an Obama victory, but in Berkeley there is already a public elementary school called Malcolm X Elementary School.

Par for the course around these parts.

I'm surprised that there isn't a Huey Newton Middle in Oakland.

re: #61 Ringo the Gringo

Welcome!

Just don't take any of us seriously.

re: #59 realwest

Wow, that's amazing - that you saw it, I mean. Cranky kids aren't amazing, just a part of parenting!
Um, didn't you say the other day that you were going to be sending me an e-mail, or am I just having another "senior moment"?!

No senior moment; things have been unusually hectic. I keep thinking I'm going to have a few free minutes, but it never happens (my LGF time is usually while cooking, doing laundry, answering email, etc.).

Marshmallow sidewalks and bubblewrap pants! LOL

re: #60 leboaz

Welcome!

Just don't take any of us seriously.

*Sorry, fat-fingered the last*

re: #60 leboaz Hey welcome aboard LGF!
I'd suggest that you go to the top left of this page, to LGF Resources and read Nekama's Troll Hammer- just great writing and a recitation of the facts concerning Israel. Written by current reader and now, alas, infrequent poster Nekama.
But what do you mean by " the new Founding Fathers."?

re: #63 Lucius Septimius
I understand completely! When you get a chance, please do write!

re: #62 unreconstructed rebel

Welcome!

Just don't take any of us seriously.

Gee, thanks...but I've been around for a while.

re: #68 Ringo the Gringo

Sorry - pushed wrong reply.

*blush*

re: #25 Ward Cleaver

When I first saw the phrase, "two cheerleaders", I thought, "Uh oh, where's this heading?".

/penthouse forum?

I know you're not going to believe this, but it actually happened........

Who knew the Incredible Hulk could write so well?

Remember how the left went into orgasm over Rush's prescription issue?

"I had learned not to care. I blew a few smoke rings, remembering those years. Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it. Not smack, though. ..."

Name that Presidential candidate

"Licking" her wounds, Rob.

re: #49 MandyManners

Football? That'll be banned. Too violent. Too competitive.

I was going to say the same thing. Title 9 will have completely obliterated mens sporting teams by 2012.

re: #51 zombie

Oakland also has the "Robeson School of Visual & Performing Arts" which is a public school named after a communist (Paul Robeson).

That ol' man ribber.

re: #15 laZardo

"There's a very basic (fundraiser) rule - you don't let press in, and anyone with an interest in reporting shouldn't get in," said the source"

Gee. I'd sure like a glimpse at the Oligarchy at work.

re: #71 ec marm

Remember how the left went into orgasm over Rush's prescription issue?

Name that Presidential candidate

My sister used to be a Limbaugh fan however she is an alcoholic and when this broke she was all over it and Bush - you know blame somebody else for your own weakness. Bush is to blame because being an alc himself he was not doing enough in treatment.....horseshit...and Limbaugh is a hypocrite - being down on drug dealers and such. I am so f'n mad at her sometimes. I sent her this article - hasn't responded yet....

The article is darned funny - it made me wonder, right up to the end, what Clinton was going to. Would this be some type of twist, like "The Lottery" or "The Marching Morons"?

The "I'm Sorry" pin! Ha, expect the Dem's to pass them out soon.

re: #66 realwest

Hope I did the tech stuff right for the reply. Thanks for the recommendation. I like the way this poster writes. Succinct, and factual. Too little of that out there. To quote unreconstructed rebel, 'don't take me too seriously'! I just meant that if the Ferrigno story were to come true, maybe someday the writings of Charles and his followers could be used to help resurrect the nation. The way they're shredding the constitution now makes one fear there will be very little of it left soon. Again, not to be toooo serious. I'm really a glass- half-full guy.

Free speech is a one way street for uber-libs, socialists, and progressive communists. No one else.

Hillary stated a one party state would be preferable.

Genius - the I'm Sorry button is so perfect

I thought it was weird that the column didn't forecast what the international scene would be like with the US military off the stage after Barry - President Obama - emasculates it.

funny but scary.
ambassador to the heartland. you can just imagine what horrors are going on because of hussein. and i will NOT wear an "i'm sorry" button. i'm going to keep wearing the flag pin. too bad michelle.
seriously, these 2 people could wreck our country. they certainly will try.

This might sound geeky or nerdy, but I love AU "history". If you do too, read Caliphate by Thomas Kratman.

/Sorry about the commercial sounding line

re: #83 nyc redneck

funny but scary.
ambassador to the heartland. you can just imagine what horrors are going on because of hussein. and i will NOT wear an "i'm sorry" button. i'm going to keep wearing the flag pin. too bad michelle.
seriously, these 2 people could wreck our country. they certainly will try.

We survived His Slickness. We'll be ok. More heavily taxed to be sure, but ok.

That was one helluva read! ! !

What a hoot! He sure nailed Michelle (bitterness be upon her). The “Assassins” books were great reads; does anyone know when the third (and as I understand it, final) installment will be published?

Barry and Michelle, sounds like a cute frat and sorority couple. How soon before they replace Ken and Barbie dolls at your favorite Wally World?

I pray he isn't a prophet.