Stinky needs to write a book containing all of his wisdom!

Audible.

Now that really made me smile.

"audible"

Now that's some serious stink.

What I want to know is what clue-bat (model/serial #) and what type of mop Stinky uses.

Bet the mops not one of those fancy pants spray sweepers. I think Stinky's Old School. Bet the bats a good old Louisville Slugger. Wood. No aluminum for Stinky, says I.

As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible.

Not fair; you're taking that fragrance out of context.

Yup, the dripping of the tears from my eyes is definitely audible.

Are ostrich farms smellier than pig farms?

As the temperature rises...

Yeah, 45 degrees here in the Twin Cities.

Is "smellier" a word? It passed!

re: #7 Attaboid

Are ostrich farms smellier than pig farms?

Somehow I get the feeling it's more a matter of richness and tone than anything. A certain bouquet for each.

re: #1 vapig

Stinky needs to write a book containing all of his wisdom!

ROTFLMAO..... that might be a very short book, suitable however for bathroom reading.....

It really should be a crime to feel as good as I feel, and to have the weather be as delightful as it is here in the People's Republic of San Francisco. I think we should pay a special tax* to live here. Oh, wait, we do.

*(that was actually suggested by the wife of a visiting Russian president, about 25 years ago).

Today is Opening Day on the Bay. I'm off to pretend that I am a pirate.
Arrrrgh!

"... becomes audible."

I need some sort of reference point. Is that worse than a stink so thick you can taste it? How about a stink so heavy you can feel it sticking to your skin?

And why does Stinky live near ostriches?

re: #4 BulgarWheat

What I want to know is what clue-bat (model/serial #) and what type of mop Stinky uses.

Bet the mops not one of those fancy pants spray sweepers. I think Stinky's Old School. Bet the bats a good old Louisville Slugger. Wood. No aluminum for Stinky, says I.

Yup, I bet Stinky's mop is of the old 1 3/4 inch in diameter hickory variety...

As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible.

Only now, too late, do we realize that yesterday's "Lolstrich" was actually an emu.

But Lolemu doesn't have quite the same zing.

re: #10 Cognito

Somehow I get the feeling it's more a matter of richness and tone than anything. A certain bouquet for each.

Generally speaking, ostrich farms do smell worse than pig farms. Of course, Turkey farms are worse than both.

re: #7 Attaboid

Are ostrich farms smellier than pig farms?

Nothing, not even hell itself, is smellier than a pig farm.

As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible.

But is it fowl?

/bad bird pun, sorry

Hmmm.. audible fragrance

I wonder if even FZ could have fit that concept into a song

re: #17 Noam Sayin'

Nothing, not even hell itself, is smellier than a pig farm.

Went close to a pork processing plant once- couldn't eat bacon for months.

re: #15 zombie

Only now, too late, do we realize that yesterday's "Lolstrich" was actually an emu.

But Lolemu doesn't have quite the same zing.

"Fake but accurate"

re: #12 rawmuse

It really should be a crime to feel as good as I feel, and to have the weather be as delightful as it is here in the People's Republic of San Francisco. I think we should pay a special tax* to live here. Oh, wait, we do.

*(that was actually suggested by the wife of a visiting Russian president, about 25 years ago).

Today is Opening Day on the Bay. I'm off to pretend that I am a pirate.
Arrrrgh!

Heh heh heh and the day down here in InSane Diego is 110 percent nicer, sweeter and finer than your day in San Fransicko.... ;P... Plus the beer tastes better cost less and lasts longer.... lol...lol...lol...

re: #19 Shay4l

Audible fragrance is not that bad - the inaudible fragrance is the true killer fragrance ...

Stinky must try the delectable stink of a pig farm. Nothing is quite so audible as they stinkiness wafting downwind on a warm summer day in Oklahoma!

re: #17 Noam Sayin'

Nothing, not even hell itself, is smellier than a pig farm.

Try being in a turkey house with 8000 birds. You'd beg for the sweet, sweet scent of hogshit.

re: #12 rawmuse

It really should be a crime to feel as good as I feel, and to have the weather be as delightful as it is here in the People's Republic of San Francisco. I think we should pay a special tax* to live here. Oh, wait, we do.

*(that was actually suggested by the wife of a visiting Russian president, about 25 years ago).

Today is Opening Day on the Bay. I'm off to pretend that I am a pirate.
Arrrrgh!

Ahoy ye matey!

There is one stink that defeats them all.

One stink that gathers them all up, combines the energy of their aroma, and like a fusion bomb it emits a flux of neutrons that melts everything in its blast zone: It is the stink discovered coming home from vacation. The summer vacation, during which someone inexplicably switched off the air-conditioning completely. The hot, humid, long summer vacation during which someone else wickedly -- evilly -- left a dirty diaper on the changing table.

re: #13 stevieray

"... becomes audible."

I need some sort of reference point. Is that worse than a stink so thick you can taste it? How about a stink so heavy you can feel it sticking to your skin?

And why does Stinky live near ostriches?

Gah! That stink is taking on a life of its own!

re: #25 rabidsquirrel

Try being in a turkey house with 8000 birds. You'd beg for the sweet, sweet scent of hogshit.

Y'all know way to much about truly stinky thins...........

re: #23 yma o hyd

Audible fragrance is not that bad - the inaudible fragrance is the true killer fragrance ...

Hah! Silent but deadly... 'tis true

I got this lovely stinker in my email recently:

Chevron Texaco Oil and Gas Company,
Chevron House,
[ADDRESS REDACTED]

Dear Sir/Madam,
Good day to You. My name Is Mrs Diana Lee
and I am the Company's Secretary Of Chevron Texaco Oil and Gas Company In Singapore(ASIA DISTRICT). Please, If this Email Address Is For You, I wish to Congratulate You and Inform You that Your Urgent Attention Is Needed at Our Branch Office in the United Kingdom as We Have Good News For You. I Advise You Contact The Officer In charge Within the Next 24hrs to Get the News Of this Life Transforming Offer Coming to You From this Great Company. Do Contact the Officer-in charge With the Information Below:

GLEN MICHAEL
[EMAIL REDACTED]@live.com

Understand that we are not disclosing the good news via this email, for
security reason as the information to Be given to you are vital and
sensitive and will be explained in details soon as you contact the
officer with the above information.

I want to congratulate you in advance and please do not forget to Help
the Poor In the society when chevron Texaco makes you a beneficiary Of their world of wealth.

Yours faithfully,
Diana Lee (Mrs)

I just can't wait to have my life transformed by their world of wealth.
/

re: #31 Slumbering Behemoth

Wow that's pretty bizaro.

re: #25 rabidsquirrel

Try being in a turkey house with 8000 birds. You'd beg for the sweet, sweet scent of hogshit.

Agreed. (I grew up in sight of a hog farm)

re: #31 Slumbering Behemoth

me thinks the Nigerian phisher's need some basic English classes.

re: #31 Slumbering Behemoth

Any bets that when you answer you're referred to an address in Nigeria and asked to send $10.000 to help the poor, for which you'll get $ 1.000.000 ...

re: #15 zombie

Only now, too late, do we realize that yesterday's "Lolstrich" was actually an emu.

Fowltography!

re: #13 stevieray

So he can bring us Lolstriches?

re: #29 doriangrey

Y'all know way to much about truly stinky thins...........

During summers in high school and college, I worked for a company that serviced and installed feed, watering, and heating systems for swine and poultry operations. Most of the time it merely involved doing installation work on new facilities, but occasionally I had to do service calls on occupied buildings. The worst ever were a pair of 800 ft. turkey buildings up in Michigan in the middle of the summer. 90+ degrees, humidity around 90%, and the turkey houses were way overdue to be cleaned out. The smell was, shall we say, enough to make me long for the mere annoying odor of swine excrement.

Ya, but have you ever seen them come from an oil company? or even purport to?

re: #36 Killgore Trout

Heh.

re: #27 Cognito

Tear out the carpets and throw out the furniture?

re: #36 Killgore Trout

Fowltography!

Not bad!

We should just count our lucky stars it wasn't a rhea.

re: #34 BulgarWheat

I periodically take one of those and fix the grammar, punctuation and spelling and send it back.

re: #39 marjoriemoon

Ya, but have you ever seen them come from an oil company? or even purport to?

Yes, I get plenty of 'em from "oil companies," but usually those located in Nigeria. I also get Kazakhstan oil company ones.

re: #38 rabidsquirrel

During summers in high school and college, I worked for a company that serviced and installed feed, watering, and heating systems for swine and poultry operations. Most of the time it merely involved doing installation work on new facilities, but occasionally I had to do service calls on occupied buildings. The worst ever were a pair of 800 ft. turkey buildings up in Michigan in the middle of the summer. 90+ degrees, humidity around 90%, and the turkey houses were way overdue to be cleaned out. The smell was, shall we say, enough to make me long for the mere annoying odor of swine excrement.

re: #38 rabidsquirrel

During summers in high school and college, I worked for a company that serviced and installed feed, watering, and heating systems for swine and poultry operations. Most of the time it merely involved doing installation work on new facilities, but occasionally I had to do service calls on occupied buildings. The worst ever were a pair of 800 ft. turkey buildings up in Michigan in the middle of the summer. 90+ degrees, humidity around 90%, and the turkey houses were way overdue to be cleaned out. The smell was, shall we say, enough to make me long for the mere annoying odor of swine excrement.

Ammonia of bird doo vs. polyamine/mercaptan of animals with a large intestine.

Hmmm, which to choose, which to choose...

OW! Ah jes bunn u ruf uv a outh! Ere a rea u kin hanin own!

(Ow! I just burned the roof of my mouth. There's a thread of skin hanging down!)

re: #42 zombie

It's got a luvverly eye - sooo gentle ....

re: #42 zombie

Not bad!

We should just count our lucky stars it wasn't a rhea.

Especially a Zionist hair rhea.

re: #47 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Ugh. You poor thing!

re: #41 Dianna

Tear out the carpets and throw out the furniture?

No, you know, it was weird. Tossed out the fissile material and everything went back to normal immediately. That little sucker was emitting a stink of such tang that it hit the back of your throat...

re: #35 yma o hyd

WOW! Only 10.000 to make 1.000.000?

Why oh why haven't I been solicited by a major international oil cartel to receive my miraculous windfall?

re: #42 zombie

I think she's quite lovely. Who does her eyes?

re: #44 zombie

Yes, I get plenty of 'em from "oil companies," but usually those located in Nigeria. I also get Kazakhstan oil company ones.

I hope you didn't throw those out. The Kazakhstan ones are legit.

re: #47 Fat Bastard Vegetarian
Pizza cheese?

re: #42 zombie

Ixnay on the Arwinday!

re: #55 snowcrash

Pizza cheese?

eggggggzakly!

re: #56 Killgore Trout

Ixnay on the Arwinday!

Igday Ita!

re: #52 Shay4l

WOW! Only 10.000 to make 1.000.000?

Why oh why haven't I been solicited by a major international oil cartel to receive my miraculous windfall?

They know you are too clever to fall for that scam?

re: #53 Dianna

I think she's quite lovely. Who does her eyes?

Is it strange I think that thing really does have weirdly pretty eyes?

re: #51 Cognito

Huh.

I had the misfortune to have to help a friend whose cabin had killed a squirrel. Dreadful experience, and we had to throw out practically anything that was cloth in the entire house.

re: #56 Killgore Trout

Ixnay on the Arwinday!

koay.

btw, ever read "Evolution Man"?

re: #56 Killgore Trout

Ixnay on the Arwinday!

At least somebody got the reference!

re: #63 zombie

Aww - some of us look at the bird rather than its scientific name :-)))

Smellier? Everything is relative I suppose. Try riding a motorcycle across some of those states that have the super-size cattle feedlots on a warm summer day.

re: #63 zombie

At least somebody got the reference!

I did, but I wasn't going to rail against you.

I must give thanks to Al Gory for the record breaking temps here in So Cal. Oh and the fires thanks a**hole.

re: #63 zombie

Subtle things like that only work with me if you warn me that a subtle thing like that is coming up. Then use a club and bludgeon me telling me what you were saying.

Needless to say, subtlety is wasted on me.

Obama paper doll.

[Link: media.townhall.com...]

Excellent. Crows have taken to harrassing the noisy, messy pidgeons on my neighbor's roof. I hope they will run the dirty bastards off.

re: #70 Noam Sayin'

Crows and pigeons- sounds like a lose-lose situation.

re: #38 rabidsquirrel

Were they Fluffy Turkeys?

[OK, it was a stretch, but I don't often get a chance to link to a Kim Fowley song! (click on the play button for track #1)]

re: #63 zombie

At least somebody got the reference!

Saw the reference - just wasn't aware there were so many varieties of flightless birds.

re: #62 Lucius Septimius

Did you mean Evolution Man?
No, never heard of it before. Look interesting.

re: #70 Noam Sayin'

Saw a fake plastic scare-owl the other day at a movie theatre. Totally covered in pidgeon poop with a pidgeon sitting on it's head.

Pigeons = rats with wings.

re: #32 marjoriemoon

re: #34 BulgarWheat

re: #35 yma o hyd

I often wonder what kind of person falls for such an obvious ruse. The odd thing is, I have somewhat of a loose connection to Cheveron Oil. A relative of mine used to work for Standard Oil way back in the day.

re: #31 Slumbering Behemoth

I have kick-ass proofreading and editing skills. How much do you suppose Ms. Lee and her Nigerian associates would pay me to clean up their random capitalization?

re: #74 Killgore Trout

Did you mean Evolution Man?
No, never heard of it before. Look interesting.

One of the funniest books I've ever read.

re: #70 Noam Sayin'

Excellent. Crows have taken to harrassing the noisy, messy pidgeons on my neighbor's roof. I hope they will run the dirty bastards off.

Flash forward a year:

Excellent. A tribe of Howler Monkeys have taken to harrassing the noisy, messy crowss on my neighbor's roof. I hope they will run the dirty bastards off.

;)

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Yeah, if you don't move them every few days they don't work.

re: #73 vapig

Saw the reference - just wasn't aware there were so many varieties of flightless birds.

You should do more crossword puzzles, penguin, rhea, emu and ostritch and others. But you will only see EMU or RHEA in a crossword puzzle.

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Saw a fake plastic scare-owl

Those things only seem to work for a few days, until the critters discover it never moves. Someone needs to build a better scare owl.

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Doesn't take long for the pidgeons to figure out a scare owl - and use it as a toilet.

re: #71 Sharmuta

I have bottle rockets for that. I can spray the pidgeons with the garden hose and they sometimes won't even fly away.

re: #69 Eyes of Blue

Obama paper doll.

[Link:

re: #44 zombie

Yes, I get plenty of 'em from "oil companies," but usually those located in Nigeria. I also get Kazakhstan oil company ones.

Wow, I've just seen the ones from the poor sap who used to work for the dictator!

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Saw a fake plastic scare-owl the other day at a movie theatre. Totally covered in pidgeon poop with a pidgeon sitting on it's head.

We have a bunch in the trees around our condo - both birds and squirrels use them as perches.

What's with the "d" in pigeons?

re: #83 HDrepub

Mine work really well as long as you keep moving them every few days. I have the ones with rotating heads so they're always looking around.

Second Place is Still a Place: The Wit, Wisdom and Observations of Living Life.
by S.Beaumont

re: #88 Attaboid

What's with the "d" in pigeons?

I was just wondering that myself - and I typed it that way a couple times.

re: #82 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

You should do more crossword puzzles, penguin, rhea, emu and ostritch and others. But you will only see EMU or RHEA in a crossword puzzle.

And kiwi.

re: #82 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

You should do more crossword puzzles, penguin, rhea, emu and ostritch and others. But you will only see EMU or RHEA in a crossword puzzle.

Of the lot, only Rhea was new to me. Is that all of them, then? Or does the Lolstritch have more cousins?

Pigeons = rats with wings.

Why do little old people feed them?

re: #88 Attaboid

What's with the "d" in pigeons?

Blame Noam. I used his to spell check mine. Thought..."d?", but I knew Noam would be right. Know what I'm sayin'?

re: #82 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

You should do more crossword puzzles, penguin, rhea, emu and ostritch and others. But you will only see EMU or RHEA in a crossword puzzle.

Cruciverbia is a strange land, no?

"audible"
Heh.
In Nigeria, people would say, "I hear/heard the smoke."
It was a common usage for "smell."

re: #77 Slumbering Behemoth

re:

re: #78 doppelganglander

Hey, perhaps I should reply with a counter-offer along those lines.

Anyone else see a resemblance between the FDLS and another polygamist religion? Sharia and Children

re: #98 marjoriemoon

Years ago, I used to forward them to an FBI address, when I could get the header from where it originated. I never got a response heh I've only gotten 1 or 2 in the last few years.

I get about 50 an hour.

A town not far from me got into a battle with environmental groups. Pigeons had invaded a ramshackle abandoned building and suddenly were dropping dead from the rafters. It was found they were carrying a disease that was capable of being transmitted to humans and the town called in an exterminator. Instant declaration of war from the greens, IIRC the state health service had to intervene. The pigeons are now gone.

re: #101 zombie

I get about 50 an hour.

LOL the price of popularity.

America's Ostriches...........are coming home to roost

-Rev Wright

re: #89 Killgore Trout

re: #83 HDrepub

Mine work really well as long as you keep moving them every few days. I have the ones with rotating heads so they're always looking around.

The moving head should make it much better. Blinking eyes and a little wing shrugging would make a big improvement.
Actually I think a snake or a hawk would be better. Owls are not known to be diurnal predators.

re: #100 Rancher

Anyone else see a resemblance between the FDLS and another polygamist religion?

re: #94 Roentgen

Pigeons = rats with wings.

Why do little old people feed them?

Because other than ducks and geese they're the only birds who come around for crumbs?

Well, Zombie got me curious and I found a bunch I'd never heard of in wiki-land. Don't usually look there, but why would anyone change a bird page?

re: #96 wolfie

Cruciverbia is a strange land, no?

And Will Shortz is its President.

By the way, was VERY dissapointed in my Sunday Puzzle. 20 minutes. Done, and I am not exactly a puzzle genius. They should be harder...an hour and a half...perfect. Just the Sunday puzzle though.

re: #103 marjoriemoon

LOL the price of popularity.

The jihadis target me specifically. There are entire Internet cafes in Karachi devoted to signing me up for spam lists.

I'm a member of every Muslim dating service in the world. Lucky me!

There's a site somewhere -- man, wish I could remember it -- where you can go with your Nigerian solicitation and mess with them in return. Or maybe you don't even have to be solicited -- they might have a stock. The point is to drown the bad guys in a sea of their own medicine, and have a laugh while doing it.

Dang it. Come to me, site name...

re: #102 JHW

The pigeons are now gone.

Yay!
/no Monty Python reference.

Are any Massachusetts lizards going to see Robert Spencer, Daniel Pipes, and Yaron Brook at Harvard on May 6th for the "Threat of Totalitarian Islam" panel? I'm planning to go to that and Dr. Brook's Ford Hall Forum talk on 5/8...