Stinky needs to write a book containing all of his wisdom!

Audible.

Now that really made me smile.

"audible"

Now that's some serious stink.

What I want to know is what clue-bat (model/serial #) and what type of mop Stinky uses.

Bet the mops not one of those fancy pants spray sweepers. I think Stinky's Old School. Bet the bats a good old Louisville Slugger. Wood. No aluminum for Stinky, says I.

As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible.

Not fair; you're taking that fragrance out of context.

Yup, the dripping of the tears from my eyes is definitely audible.

Are ostrich farms smellier than pig farms?

As the temperature rises...

Yeah, 45 degrees here in the Twin Cities.

Is "smellier" a word? It passed!

re: #7 Attaboid

Are ostrich farms smellier than pig farms?

Somehow I get the feeling it's more a matter of richness and tone than anything. A certain bouquet for each.

re: #1 vapig

Stinky needs to write a book containing all of his wisdom!

ROTFLMAO..... that might be a very short book, suitable however for bathroom reading.....

It really should be a crime to feel as good as I feel, and to have the weather be as delightful as it is here in the People's Republic of San Francisco. I think we should pay a special tax* to live here. Oh, wait, we do.

*(that was actually suggested by the wife of a visiting Russian president, about 25 years ago).

Today is Opening Day on the Bay. I'm off to pretend that I am a pirate.
Arrrrgh!

"... becomes audible."

I need some sort of reference point. Is that worse than a stink so thick you can taste it? How about a stink so heavy you can feel it sticking to your skin?

And why does Stinky live near ostriches?

re: #4 BulgarWheat

What I want to know is what clue-bat (model/serial #) and what type of mop Stinky uses.

Bet the mops not one of those fancy pants spray sweepers. I think Stinky's Old School. Bet the bats a good old Louisville Slugger. Wood. No aluminum for Stinky, says I.

Yup, I bet Stinky's mop is of the old 1 3/4 inch in diameter hickory variety...

As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible.

Only now, too late, do we realize that yesterday's "Lolstrich" was actually an emu.

But Lolemu doesn't have quite the same zing.

re: #10 Cognito

Somehow I get the feeling it's more a matter of richness and tone than anything. A certain bouquet for each.

Generally speaking, ostrich farms do smell worse than pig farms. Of course, Turkey farms are worse than both.

re: #7 Attaboid

Are ostrich farms smellier than pig farms?

Nothing, not even hell itself, is smellier than a pig farm.

As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible.

But is it fowl?

/bad bird pun, sorry

Hmmm.. audible fragrance

I wonder if even FZ could have fit that concept into a song

re: #17 Noam Sayin'

Nothing, not even hell itself, is smellier than a pig farm.

Went close to a pork processing plant once- couldn't eat bacon for months.

re: #15 zombie

Only now, too late, do we realize that yesterday's "Lolstrich" was actually an emu.

But Lolemu doesn't have quite the same zing.

"Fake but accurate"

re: #12 rawmuse

It really should be a crime to feel as good as I feel, and to have the weather be as delightful as it is here in the People's Republic of San Francisco. I think we should pay a special tax* to live here. Oh, wait, we do.

*(that was actually suggested by the wife of a visiting Russian president, about 25 years ago).

Today is Opening Day on the Bay. I'm off to pretend that I am a pirate.
Arrrrgh!

Heh heh heh and the day down here in InSane Diego is 110 percent nicer, sweeter and finer than your day in San Fransicko.... ;P... Plus the beer tastes better cost less and lasts longer.... lol...lol...lol...

re: #19 Shay4l

Audible fragrance is not that bad - the inaudible fragrance is the true killer fragrance ...

Stinky must try the delectable stink of a pig farm. Nothing is quite so audible as they stinkiness wafting downwind on a warm summer day in Oklahoma!

re: #17 Noam Sayin'

Nothing, not even hell itself, is smellier than a pig farm.

Try being in a turkey house with 8000 birds. You'd beg for the sweet, sweet scent of hogshit.

re: #12 rawmuse

It really should be a crime to feel as good as I feel, and to have the weather be as delightful as it is here in the People's Republic of San Francisco. I think we should pay a special tax* to live here. Oh, wait, we do.

*(that was actually suggested by the wife of a visiting Russian president, about 25 years ago).

Today is Opening Day on the Bay. I'm off to pretend that I am a pirate.
Arrrrgh!

Ahoy ye matey!

There is one stink that defeats them all.

One stink that gathers them all up, combines the energy of their aroma, and like a fusion bomb it emits a flux of neutrons that melts everything in its blast zone: It is the stink discovered coming home from vacation. The summer vacation, during which someone inexplicably switched off the air-conditioning completely. The hot, humid, long summer vacation during which someone else wickedly -- evilly -- left a dirty diaper on the changing table.

re: #13 stevieray

"... becomes audible."

I need some sort of reference point. Is that worse than a stink so thick you can taste it? How about a stink so heavy you can feel it sticking to your skin?

And why does Stinky live near ostriches?

Gah! That stink is taking on a life of its own!

re: #25 rabidsquirrel

Try being in a turkey house with 8000 birds. You'd beg for the sweet, sweet scent of hogshit.

Y'all know way to much about truly stinky thins...........

re: #23 yma o hyd

Audible fragrance is not that bad - the inaudible fragrance is the true killer fragrance ...

Hah! Silent but deadly... 'tis true

I got this lovely stinker in my email recently:

Chevron Texaco Oil and Gas Company,
Chevron House,
[ADDRESS REDACTED]

Dear Sir/Madam,
Good day to You. My name Is Mrs Diana Lee
and I am the Company's Secretary Of Chevron Texaco Oil and Gas Company In Singapore(ASIA DISTRICT). Please, If this Email Address Is For You, I wish to Congratulate You and Inform You that Your Urgent Attention Is Needed at Our Branch Office in the United Kingdom as We Have Good News For You. I Advise You Contact The Officer In charge Within the Next 24hrs to Get the News Of this Life Transforming Offer Coming to You From this Great Company. Do Contact the Officer-in charge With the Information Below:

GLEN MICHAEL
[EMAIL REDACTED]@live.com

Understand that we are not disclosing the good news via this email, for
security reason as the information to Be given to you are vital and
sensitive and will be explained in details soon as you contact the
officer with the above information.

I want to congratulate you in advance and please do not forget to Help
the Poor In the society when chevron Texaco makes you a beneficiary Of their world of wealth.

Yours faithfully,
Diana Lee (Mrs)

I just can't wait to have my life transformed by their world of wealth.
/

re: #31 Slumbering Behemoth

Wow that's pretty bizaro.

re: #25 rabidsquirrel

Try being in a turkey house with 8000 birds. You'd beg for the sweet, sweet scent of hogshit.

Agreed. (I grew up in sight of a hog farm)

re: #31 Slumbering Behemoth

me thinks the Nigerian phisher's need some basic English classes.

re: #31 Slumbering Behemoth

Any bets that when you answer you're referred to an address in Nigeria and asked to send $10.000 to help the poor, for which you'll get $ 1.000.000 ...

re: #15 zombie

Only now, too late, do we realize that yesterday's "Lolstrich" was actually an emu.

Fowltography!

re: #13 stevieray

So he can bring us Lolstriches?

re: #29 doriangrey

Y'all know way to much about truly stinky thins...........

During summers in high school and college, I worked for a company that serviced and installed feed, watering, and heating systems for swine and poultry operations. Most of the time it merely involved doing installation work on new facilities, but occasionally I had to do service calls on occupied buildings. The worst ever were a pair of 800 ft. turkey buildings up in Michigan in the middle of the summer. 90+ degrees, humidity around 90%, and the turkey houses were way overdue to be cleaned out. The smell was, shall we say, enough to make me long for the mere annoying odor of swine excrement.

Ya, but have you ever seen them come from an oil company? or even purport to?

re: #36 Killgore Trout

Heh.

re: #27 Cognito

Tear out the carpets and throw out the furniture?

re: #36 Killgore Trout

Fowltography!

Not bad!

We should just count our lucky stars it wasn't a rhea.

re: #34 BulgarWheat

I periodically take one of those and fix the grammar, punctuation and spelling and send it back.

re: #39 marjoriemoon

Ya, but have you ever seen them come from an oil company? or even purport to?

Yes, I get plenty of 'em from "oil companies," but usually those located in Nigeria. I also get Kazakhstan oil company ones.

re: #38 rabidsquirrel

During summers in high school and college, I worked for a company that serviced and installed feed, watering, and heating systems for swine and poultry operations. Most of the time it merely involved doing installation work on new facilities, but occasionally I had to do service calls on occupied buildings. The worst ever were a pair of 800 ft. turkey buildings up in Michigan in the middle of the summer. 90+ degrees, humidity around 90%, and the turkey houses were way overdue to be cleaned out. The smell was, shall we say, enough to make me long for the mere annoying odor of swine excrement.

re: #38 rabidsquirrel

During summers in high school and college, I worked for a company that serviced and installed feed, watering, and heating systems for swine and poultry operations. Most of the time it merely involved doing installation work on new facilities, but occasionally I had to do service calls on occupied buildings. The worst ever were a pair of 800 ft. turkey buildings up in Michigan in the middle of the summer. 90+ degrees, humidity around 90%, and the turkey houses were way overdue to be cleaned out. The smell was, shall we say, enough to make me long for the mere annoying odor of swine excrement.

Ammonia of bird doo vs. polyamine/mercaptan of animals with a large intestine.

Hmmm, which to choose, which to choose...

OW! Ah jes bunn u ruf uv a outh! Ere a rea u kin hanin own!

(Ow! I just burned the roof of my mouth. There's a thread of skin hanging down!)

re: #42 zombie

It's got a luvverly eye - sooo gentle ....

re: #42 zombie

Not bad!

We should just count our lucky stars it wasn't a rhea.

Especially a Zionist hair rhea.

re: #47 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Ugh. You poor thing!

re: #41 Dianna

Tear out the carpets and throw out the furniture?

No, you know, it was weird. Tossed out the fissile material and everything went back to normal immediately. That little sucker was emitting a stink of such tang that it hit the back of your throat...

re: #35 yma o hyd

WOW! Only 10.000 to make 1.000.000?

Why oh why haven't I been solicited by a major international oil cartel to receive my miraculous windfall?

re: #42 zombie

I think she's quite lovely. Who does her eyes?

re: #44 zombie

Yes, I get plenty of 'em from "oil companies," but usually those located in Nigeria. I also get Kazakhstan oil company ones.

I hope you didn't throw those out. The Kazakhstan ones are legit.

re: #47 Fat Bastard Vegetarian
Pizza cheese?

re: #42 zombie

Ixnay on the Arwinday!

re: #55 snowcrash

Pizza cheese?

eggggggzakly!

re: #56 Killgore Trout

Ixnay on the Arwinday!

Igday Ita!

re: #52 Shay4l

WOW! Only 10.000 to make 1.000.000?

Why oh why haven't I been solicited by a major international oil cartel to receive my miraculous windfall?

They know you are too clever to fall for that scam?

re: #53 Dianna

I think she's quite lovely. Who does her eyes?

Is it strange I think that thing really does have weirdly pretty eyes?

re: #51 Cognito

Huh.

I had the misfortune to have to help a friend whose cabin had killed a squirrel. Dreadful experience, and we had to throw out practically anything that was cloth in the entire house.

re: #56 Killgore Trout

Ixnay on the Arwinday!

koay.

btw, ever read "Evolution Man"?

re: #56 Killgore Trout

Ixnay on the Arwinday!

At least somebody got the reference!

re: #63 zombie

Aww - some of us look at the bird rather than its scientific name :-)))

Smellier? Everything is relative I suppose. Try riding a motorcycle across some of those states that have the super-size cattle feedlots on a warm summer day.

re: #63 zombie

At least somebody got the reference!

I did, but I wasn't going to rail against you.

I must give thanks to Al Gory for the record breaking temps here in So Cal. Oh and the fires thanks a**hole.

re: #63 zombie

Subtle things like that only work with me if you warn me that a subtle thing like that is coming up. Then use a club and bludgeon me telling me what you were saying.

Needless to say, subtlety is wasted on me.

Obama paper doll.

[Link: media.townhall.com...]

Excellent. Crows have taken to harrassing the noisy, messy pidgeons on my neighbor's roof. I hope they will run the dirty bastards off.

re: #70 Noam Sayin'

Crows and pigeons- sounds like a lose-lose situation.

re: #38 rabidsquirrel

Were they Fluffy Turkeys?

[OK, it was a stretch, but I don't often get a chance to link to a Kim Fowley song! (click on the play button for track #1)]

re: #63 zombie

At least somebody got the reference!

Saw the reference - just wasn't aware there were so many varieties of flightless birds.

re: #62 Lucius Septimius

Did you mean Evolution Man?
No, never heard of it before. Look interesting.

re: #70 Noam Sayin'

Saw a fake plastic scare-owl the other day at a movie theatre. Totally covered in pidgeon poop with a pidgeon sitting on it's head.

Pigeons = rats with wings.

re: #32 marjoriemoon

re: #34 BulgarWheat

re: #35 yma o hyd

I often wonder what kind of person falls for such an obvious ruse. The odd thing is, I have somewhat of a loose connection to Cheveron Oil. A relative of mine used to work for Standard Oil way back in the day.

re: #31 Slumbering Behemoth

I have kick-ass proofreading and editing skills. How much do you suppose Ms. Lee and her Nigerian associates would pay me to clean up their random capitalization?

re: #74 Killgore Trout

Did you mean Evolution Man?
No, never heard of it before. Look interesting.

One of the funniest books I've ever read.

re: #70 Noam Sayin'

Excellent. Crows have taken to harrassing the noisy, messy pidgeons on my neighbor's roof. I hope they will run the dirty bastards off.

Flash forward a year:

Excellent. A tribe of Howler Monkeys have taken to harrassing the noisy, messy crowss on my neighbor's roof. I hope they will run the dirty bastards off.

;)

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Yeah, if you don't move them every few days they don't work.

re: #73 vapig

Saw the reference - just wasn't aware there were so many varieties of flightless birds.

You should do more crossword puzzles, penguin, rhea, emu and ostritch and others. But you will only see EMU or RHEA in a crossword puzzle.

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Saw a fake plastic scare-owl

Those things only seem to work for a few days, until the critters discover it never moves. Someone needs to build a better scare owl.

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Doesn't take long for the pidgeons to figure out a scare owl - and use it as a toilet.

re: #71 Sharmuta

I have bottle rockets for that. I can spray the pidgeons with the garden hose and they sometimes won't even fly away.

re: #69 Eyes of Blue

Obama paper doll.

[Link: media.townhall.com...]

That's adorable!

re: #44 zombie

Yes, I get plenty of 'em from "oil companies," but usually those located in Nigeria. I also get Kazakhstan oil company ones.

Wow, I've just seen the ones from the poor sap who used to work for the dictator!

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Saw a fake plastic scare-owl the other day at a movie theatre. Totally covered in pidgeon poop with a pidgeon sitting on it's head.

We have a bunch in the trees around our condo - both birds and squirrels use them as perches.

What's with the "d" in pigeons?

re: #83 HDrepub

Mine work really well as long as you keep moving them every few days. I have the ones with rotating heads so they're always looking around.

Second Place is Still a Place: The Wit, Wisdom and Observations of Living Life.
by S.Beaumont

re: #88 Attaboid

What's with the "d" in pigeons?

I was just wondering that myself - and I typed it that way a couple times.

re: #82 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

You should do more crossword puzzles, penguin, rhea, emu and ostritch and others. But you will only see EMU or RHEA in a crossword puzzle.

And kiwi.

re: #82 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

You should do more crossword puzzles, penguin, rhea, emu and ostritch and others. But you will only see EMU or RHEA in a crossword puzzle.

Of the lot, only Rhea was new to me. Is that all of them, then? Or does the Lolstritch have more cousins?

Pigeons = rats with wings.

Why do little old people feed them?

re: #88 Attaboid

What's with the "d" in pigeons?

Blame Noam. I used his to spell check mine. Thought..."d?", but I knew Noam would be right. Know what I'm sayin'?

re: #82 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

You should do more crossword puzzles, penguin, rhea, emu and ostritch and others. But you will only see EMU or RHEA in a crossword puzzle.

Cruciverbia is a strange land, no?

"audible"
Heh.
In Nigeria, people would say, "I hear/heard the smoke."
It was a common usage for "smell."

re: #77 Slumbering Behemoth

re: #34 BulgarWheat

re: #35 yma o hyd

I often wonder what kind of person falls for such an obvious ruse. The odd thing is, I have somewhat of a loose connection to Cheveron Oil. A relative of mine used to work for Standard Oil way back in the day.

Years ago, I used to forward them to an FBI address, when I could get the header from where it originated. I never got a response heh I've only gotten 1 or 2 in the last few years.

re: #78 doppelganglander

Hey, perhaps I should reply with a counter-offer along those lines.

Anyone else see a resemblance between the FDLS and another polygamist religion? Sharia and Children

re: #98 marjoriemoon

Years ago, I used to forward them to an FBI address, when I could get the header from where it originated. I never got a response heh I've only gotten 1 or 2 in the last few years.

I get about 50 an hour.

A town not far from me got into a battle with environmental groups. Pigeons had invaded a ramshackle abandoned building and suddenly were dropping dead from the rafters. It was found they were carrying a disease that was capable of being transmitted to humans and the town called in an exterminator. Instant declaration of war from the greens, IIRC the state health service had to intervene. The pigeons are now gone.

re: #101 zombie

I get about 50 an hour.

LOL the price of popularity.

America's Ostriches...........are coming home to roost

-Rev Wright

re: #89 Killgore Trout

re: #83 HDrepub

Mine work really well as long as you keep moving them every few days. I have the ones with rotating heads so they're always looking around.

The moving head should make it much better. Blinking eyes and a little wing shrugging would make a big improvement.
Actually I think a snake or a hawk would be better. Owls are not known to be diurnal predators.

re: #100 Rancher

Anyone else see a resemblance between the FDLS and another polygamist religion? Sharia and Children

You bet.

re: #94 Roentgen

Pigeons = rats with wings.

Why do little old people feed them?

Because other than ducks and geese they're the only birds who come around for crumbs?

Well, Zombie got me curious and I found a bunch I'd never heard of in wiki-land. Don't usually look there, but why would anyone change a bird page?

re: #96 wolfie

Cruciverbia is a strange land, no?

And Will Shortz is its President.

By the way, was VERY dissapointed in my Sunday Puzzle. 20 minutes. Done, and I am not exactly a puzzle genius. They should be harder...an hour and a half...perfect. Just the Sunday puzzle though.

re: #103 marjoriemoon

LOL the price of popularity.

The jihadis target me specifically. There are entire Internet cafes in Karachi devoted to signing me up for spam lists.

I'm a member of every Muslim dating service in the world. Lucky me!

There's a site somewhere -- man, wish I could remember it -- where you can go with your Nigerian solicitation and mess with them in return. Or maybe you don't even have to be solicited -- they might have a stock. The point is to drown the bad guys in a sea of their own medicine, and have a laugh while doing it.

Dang it. Come to me, site name...

re: #102 JHW

The pigeons are now gone.

Yay!
/no Monty Python reference.

Are any Massachusetts lizards going to see Robert Spencer, Daniel Pipes, and Yaron Brook at Harvard on May 6th for the "Threat of Totalitarian Islam" panel? I'm planning to go to that and Dr. Brook's Ford Hall Forum talk on 5/8...

Laundry has got to be the most annoying chore of all.

Back shortly.

Before disposabe diapers were invented, people used to leave huge bags of the dirty cloth ones in hot Brooklyn apartment hallways.

Memories of the good old days.

re: #110 zombie

The jihadis target me specifically. There are entire Internet cafes in Karachi devoted to signing me up for spam lists.

I'm a member of every Muslim dating service in the world. Lucky me!

Amorphous Zombie ISO Same for friendship first, then possible LTR

Must love camels
NonSmokers only please

re: #109 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Roanoke Times? Yeah, they're usually too easy. An anoa could do one with an ogee.

re: #109 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

And Will Shortz is its President.

By the way, was VERY dissapointed in my Sunday Puzzle. 20 minutes. Done, and I am not exactly a puzzle genius. They should be harder...an hour and a half...perfect. Just the Sunday puzzle though.

It's because you do them all the time - you start seeing the pattern and they always use the same words. I used to too, until they got so easy I was finishing them off in about 10 minutes - and that's only because that was how long it takes to fill in the blanks.

re: #117 wolfie

Have you tried Sudokus?
There are some fiendishly difficult ones around ...

re: #110 zombie

The jihadis target me specifically. There are entire Internet cafes in Karachi devoted to signing me up for spam lists.

I'm a member of every Muslim dating service in the world. Lucky me!

Yes, of that I'm sure :(

No marriage proposals, I take it.

Ah, here we are. It's called 419 Eater. (419 being the number of Nigeria's useless anti-scam law.)

re: #111 Cognito

There's a site somewhere -- man, wish I could remember it -- where you can go with your Nigerian solicitation and mess with them in return. Or maybe you don't even have to be solicited -- they might have a stock. The point is to drown the bad guys in a sea of their own medicine, and have a laugh while doing it.

Dang it. Come to me, site name...

www.419eater.com

and/or

www.thescambaiter.com - (my fav) check out "freight baits" w/ anus laptops. Very funny. :)

By the way -- if anyone here is among the many people who have sent me emails in the past month or so, I apologize for not answering yet -- I'm absolutely crushed by a mountain of incoming email every day. It's impossible to keep on top of it all.

But I will answer eventually.

re: #116 Shug

Amorphous Zombie ISO Same for friendship first, then possible LTR

Must love camels
NonSmokers only please

Walks on the beach at sunset ?
Watching the sunrise ?
Candlelit dinners?
Snuggling under the blanket on a cold winter night?

re: #122 brickthruplateglasswindow

www.419eater.com

and/or

www.thescambaiter.com - (my fav) check out "freight baits" w/ anus laptops. Very funny. :)

www.ebolamonkeyman.com

This guy does some fantastic 419 scam baiting, including getting them to pose for pictures holding silly signs

This has got to be the funniest thing I've seen in a long, long time.

Go regular, anti-scamming people!

re: #98 marjoriemoon

Years ago, I used to forward them to an FBI address, when I could get the header from where it originated. I never got a response heh I've only gotten 1 or 2 in the last few years.

To the best of my recollection, this is the only email of this type that I have ever received. Guess I'm just lucky.

Well, it's 89 degrees out right now, so I should go out and do something counter-productive. DRINK!

Later Lizards.

Shug, yes -- check out 'The Trophy Room' I just linked. Photos that are just too, too funny.

re: #118 vapig

It's because you do them all the time - you start seeing the pattern and they always use the same words. I used to too, until they got so easy I was finishing them off in about 10 minutes - and that's only because that was how long it takes to fill in the blanks.

The Sunday NY Times puzzle is more about novelty than difficulty.

re: #111 Cognito

There's a site somewhere -- man, wish I could remember it -- where you can go with your Nigerian solicitation and mess with them in return. Or maybe you don't even have to be solicited -- they might have a stock. The point is to drown the bad guys in a sea of their own medicine, and have a laugh while doing it.

Dang it. Come to me, site name...

[Link: www.419eater.com...] ?

I am having one of those days. I stepped on some glass, had to get the tweezers out to extract it, and bled like, well, a stuck human. On my hardwood floor. Grrrr.

re: #131 Dianna

I am having one of those days. I stepped on some glass, had to get the tweezers out to extract it, and bled like, well, a stuck human. On my hardwood floor. Grrrr.

You have all my sympathy!
I bet you had to clean the floor yourself as well ... there's never anybody around when stuff like that happens.

re: #113 duke6855

Are any Massachusetts lizards going to see Robert Spencer, Daniel Pipes, and Yaron Brook at Harvard on May 6th for the "Threat of Totalitarian Islam" panel? I'm planning to go to that and Dr. Brook's Ford Hall Forum talk on 5/8...

Hey Duke,
I might be interested in attending that panel discussion. What time and where is it at Harvard?

E-mail me if you want (not sure if my nic is blue, but if it isn't, I'll switch it over)

re: #131 Dianna

I am having one of those days. I stepped on some glass, had to get the tweezers out to extract it, and bled like, well, a stuck human. On my hardwood floor. Grrrr.

I thought I detected a disturbance in the life force somewhere in the vicinity.

I can actually detect the presence of human blood through some sort of "sixth sense," before I even see it's there.

re: #132 yma o hyd

Yup.

As I said, one of those days. I am discovering that blood on light hardwood is a bit more of a problem than I'd thought.

re: #134 zombie

Really? Do you have a particularly acute sense of smell?

"The brochure said there'd only be a few ostriches!"

i lived near a small pig farm when i was a kid. even now when i get a slight wiff of pig poopie , i find it an oddly pleasant smell. but of course people say i'm strange because i like the smell of skunk in the air too.
i don't like the smell of rotten potatoes or an outhouse in august, tho.

re: #132 yma o hyd

You have all my sympathy!
I bet you had to clean the floor yourself as well ... there's never anybody around when stuff like that happens.

Current regulations require a bodily fluids team as blood is a biohazard. Gloves, masks and special cleansers are required. Kind of like when you break one of those new earth friendly lightbulbs.

re: #131 Dianna

I am having one of those days. I stepped on some glass, had to get the tweezers out to extract it, and bled like, well, a stuck human. On my hardwood floor. Grrrr.

Salt. Pour lots of table salt on the blood stain on the floor. That will lift it up. Also works on rugs and fabric. If the blood has dried moisten the spot a little and if you're trying to get blood out of fabric coat both sides fairly thickly.

re: #140 galloping granny
Salt? Cool!

re: #67 DownRightMeanAmerican

You forgot this: Shiver of worry in wine country : North Coast growers fear they could lose 10% of their crops to frost damage.

re: #131 Dianna

I am having one of those days. I stepped on some glass, had to get the tweezers out to extract it, and bled like, well, a stuck human. On my hardwood floor. Grrrr.

make sure you put some peroxide on that wound.

re: #140 galloping granny

That's what I just finished doing - and it seems to be working.

Now all I have to do is convince the black dog to stop looking after me.

Yeesh.

[Link: www.buffalobeast.com...]

re: #135 Dianna

Yup.

As I said, one of those days. I am discovering that blood on light hardwood is a bit more of a problem than I'd thought.

Aww - its doubly bad because there is nobody tehre to hear one scream!
As for the floor - no idea what to advise, scrubbing with cold water?re: #139 Rancher

Heh! I'll biohazard them if they try anything like that here with me or mine!

Sometimes, with all these new regulations, one wonders how humanity has managed to survive at all until now.

Warning: upsetting link.

Audible is not the word that I would use.

re: #143 nyc redneck

I am disinfected and bandaged, and now the floor seems to be doing all right as well.

Kudos to the lizardoid minions!

Thanks.

re: #135 Dianna

Yup.

As I said, one of those days. I am discovering that blood on light hardwood is a bit more of a problem than I'd thought.

Diluted Hydrogen peroxide will take it right out.

re: #146 yma o hyd

Salt, as granny said, works well.

And I'm with you - it's my house and my blood. I'll clean it up myself, thank you.

re: #133 philly_being_philly

Sorry Philly, ran out to the store - it's at 8 PM, in room 105 of Emerson Hall on the 6th. Not sure if what I did turns my name blue...

re: #145 Charles

Yeesh.

[Link: www.buffalobeast.com...]

Not clicking that one . :(

re: #145 Charles

That is very sick

re: #150 mama winger

The salt worked - fortunately. What would the hydrogen peroxide have done to my floor, though? I know it's a dandy disinfectant, but wouldn't it be a bit harsh on the wood?

re: #147 Charles

That's a bit of an understatement..

Regardless, that piece of "literature" captured perfectly the real view of the US military by the unhinged moonbat left. I won't even quote the piece - it's that nasty.

Where is my brain bleach ?hmmm...

re: #155 Dianna

The salt worked - fortunately. What would the hydrogen peroxide have done to my floor, though? I know it's a dandy disinfectant, but wouldn't it be a bit harsh on the wood?

I work around blood - a LOT of blood. Dilute hydrogen peroxide (about 50-50) will take blood out of anything. It's like magic. I've never known it to harm any surface. I use it on clothing, carpeting, stainless steel, wood - antyhing.

re: #145 Charles

Ugh. I wish I hadn't seen that. It has it'semail addy on the contact page.

re: #145 Charles

Demented ranting by someone who is selectively showing pity to those who are not in the armed forces.

He seems not to have grasped the fact that without them he'd not be able to rant.

re: #145 Charles

The man is beneath contempt. Related to Ted Rall, I wonder. Can anyone clue me in on this "illegal war" phrase that`s been used so much. I can`t remember ever seeing it before 9/11.

re: #145 Charles

Progressive!

re: #136 Dianna

Really? Do you have a particularly acute sense of smell?

Yes, I do, but it's not even that.

I "feel" the blood, as if it was heat or something along those lines.

Once I was walking down a hallway in an unfamiliar building (in Hong Kong, of all places), and about 25 feet before we got to a door I said to my companion, "There's a lot of blood coming up. I don't want to go in there." I had no idea why I said that.

Well she said I was nuts and we went through the door anyway only to discover a huge Red Cross blood-donation drive in progress in an auditorium.

It was pretty spooky.

I also almost passed out in the room. I'm one of those people that's hypersensitive to the presence of blood. I've never actually fainted at the sight of it, but I've come close.

That's one of the reasons I haven't been to a doctor in over 15 years. I've had my blood drawn once in my life, and that was more than enough for me.

re: #135 Dianna

Yup.

As I said, one of those days. I am discovering that blood on light hardwood is a bit more of a problem than I'd thought.

Try hydrogen peroxide followed by lemon juice followed by tung oil.

re: #145 Charles

Yeesh.

[Link: www.buffalobeast.com...]

As I've said before and will continue to say, we don't have to mentally dehumanize our enemies when they do a fine job of dehumanizing themselves.

Those who strut about and posture as morally superior being are only showing themselves to be utterly depraved garbage.

Need I say more?

That man is a fool. He may think he's clear-thinking, but he's failing to even begin to define his premises for his argument.

I've read six paragraphs. I think that's enough.

re: #147 Charles

Warning: upsetting link.

We’re a squeamish people; we eschew heated debates and, in principle, strive for political correctness when arguing with those who hold contrary views.

Funny, but is it just me, or lately every time lately I've heard that remark it's been in the context of making apologies for fascists?

re: #166 Dianna

ugh..six paragraphs is more than enough for that twisted view.

re: #163 zombie

Interesting!

re: #153 mama winger

Not clicking that one . :(

It's down there with the world view expressed in THE TURNER DIARIES. Noise generated by the inhabitant of a moral sewer.

re: #145 Charles

We should invite him over here just so mama winger can use the clue-bat on him

re: #147 Charles

he's an attention seeking loud mouth. i bet he couldn't pass the physical to even get in the military.

re: #145 Charles

He wants no standing Army. That would have worked well in WWII. Billy Bob, get your squirrel rifle and a boat, were going to Japan!

re: #164 profitsbeard

The salt has worked; I'm not entirely sure what tung oil is, should I find some and keep it around?

With two dogs in the house, we end up having to spot-clean an awful lot, and - particularly around their water bowls - the floor's not looking too happy. Rather dry, in fact.

re: #163 zombie

Perhaps you sense the blood because, as a zombie, your own blood is depleted and stale thus you need to get fresh blood?

/jk. Wait, that's more like the description of a vampire, not a zombie.

re: #171 LeftJustAintRight

We should invite him over here just so mama winger can use the clue-bat on him

Could I ! PLEASE ? ?

:)

don't get me started :O

re: #147 Charles

Warning: upsetting link.

Strange -- it had no effect on me whatsoever. (Unlike the sight of blood.) I see crap like that every single day around here, so it's just par for the course.

re: #174 Dianna

The salt has worked; I'm not entirely sure what tung oil is, should I find some and keep it around?

With two dogs in the house, we end up having to spot-clean an awful lot, and - particularly around their water bowls - the floor's not looking too happy. Rather dry, in fact.

Tung oil is good for dry wood.

re: #168 mitthrawnurdo

I feel like I should make myself read the whole thing. Charles seems to have done so. It doesn't seem right to make him suffer alone.

I went back and forth for a while about whether to post it, but I think I will - even though this guy will undoubtedly thrive on the attention.

re: #176 mama winger

Could I ! PLEASE ? ?

:)

don't get me started :O

Can I help? I've got a nice big clue bat right here.

re: #161 JHW

The man is beneath contempt. Related to Ted Rall, I wonder. Can anyone clue me in on this "illegal war" phrase that`s been used so much. I can`t remember ever seeing it before 9/11.

Baby boomers reliving their youth. The phrase was used often during Vietnam War days.
There is a legend that frequent repeat of such phrases will decrease hair loss, wrinkles, and sagging flesh.

re: #163 zombie

i've read that blood soaked battle fields in wars could be smelled for miles. a strong smell of blood is truly sickening.

re: #178 mama winger

Thanks for the info. Where should I look for tung oil? Home improvement store?

I am sorry buffalobeast is getting the traffic. What a nasty rant.

re: #184 Dianna

Thanks for the info. Where should I look for tung oil? Home improvement store?

Go to a hardware store

re: #180 Charles

He'll sure thrive on millions no longer thinking, but knowing he is a complete total and utter asshat.

He is a new poster child for being intellectually and morally bankrupt.

re: #144 Dianna

That's what I just finished doing - and it seems to be working.

Now all I have to do is convince the black dog to stop looking after me.

Works every time.

re: #180 Charles

I went back and forth for a while about whether to post it, but I think I will even though this guy will undoubtedly thrive on the attention.

Well bugs are supposed to flee when someone turns over the rock that they're hiding under. This bozoid doesn't have the good sense to do that.

re: #180 Charles

I went back and forth for a while about whether to post it, but I think I will - even though this guy will undoubtedly thrive on the attention.

don't post it. it's not worth it. imho

re: #184 Dianna

Thanks for the info. Where should I look for tung oil? Home improvement store?

Yep - any hardware store should have it too. Near the mineral spirits and turpentine usually.

I know it's not a democratic sort of thing, but I vote against a post about this guy. He's a blip that will fade if people let him.

re: #183 nyc redneck

i've read that blood soaked battle fields in wars could be smelled for miles. a strong smell of blood is truly sickening.

Nah. You get used to it. Unless you are a guy. Then the bigger they are the faster they pass out cold. :)

I'd much rather see a post about our military, and the things they are accomplishing in Iraq and Afghanistan.

re: #161 JHW

The man is beneath contempt. Related to Ted Rall, I wonder. Can anyone clue me in on this "illegal war" phrase that`s been used so much. I can`t remember ever seeing it before 9/11.

Basically as long as there have been wars there have been those who declare it illegal. Caesar's conquest of Gaul was decried as populist and illegal by many in the Roman Senate.

re: #193 galloping granny

Nah. You get used to it. Unless you are a guy. Then the bigger they are the faster they pass out cold. :)

that would be my husband. lol

re: #193 galloping granny

Nah. You get used to it. Unless you are a guy. Then the bigger they are the faster they pass out cold. :)

That's the truth. ha

re: #193 galloping granny

i've read that blood soaked battle fields in wars could be smelled for miles. a strong smell of blood is truly sickening.

I can smell blood mine or someone else's
Driving down the road I can smell fresh road kill blood
If it is close I lose my cookies everytime

No home improvement projects today. (GF laid down the law.)
Surfed the dawn patrol, followed by breakfast at Waikiki Dennys, now off to go snorkling at San Souci.
I worry about you guys glued to your computers on a Sunday afternoon.
We don't have to save the world (I think that's what we are doing here.) every minute of our short lives.
Go out and play!

NObama!

Yet more laundry - back in a little.

re: #194 mama winger

I'd much rather see a post about our military, and the things they are accomplishing in Iraq and Afghanistan.

i agree, this slob is just a loud mouth jerk, w/ a predictable self-conscience hey look at me look how i can't rant bunch of crap.

re: #182 wolfie

Thank`s wolfie, although I was in Vietnam during the war days and didn`t hear too many of the epithets that were thrown about except "immoral". I avoided politics and listening to that sort of people like the plague back then, so it`s entirely possible that I just didn`t hear it.Reliving their misbegotten youth, eh.

As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible.

Man... Charles,

You can HEAR that stank?

That some serious stankin' right there.

Funky!

WLGF out

re: #147 Charles

Warning: upsetting link.

I agree...Ugh.

re: #187 Athos

He'll sure thrive on millions no longer thinking, but knowing he is a complete total and utter asshat.

He is a new poster child for being intellectually and morally bankrupt.

He isn't that good.

re: #195 Salem

They can debate about the illegality of a war for as long as they like - the point is, once you've got war, you support your troops. Simple.

I loathe it when people like that literally de-humanize their own people to score cheap political points

re: #183 nyc redneck

i've read that blood soaked battle fields in wars could be smelled for miles. a strong smell of blood is truly sickening.

It only takes one person....in the hospital, the odor of a GI bleed could be detected as soon as the elevator doors opened.

re: #192 Cognito

I know it's not a democratic sort of thing, but I vote against a post about this guy. He's a blip that will fade if people let him.

Hi Cognito! I agree with ya there!

re: #145 Charles

The Beast meme hints that he could be a disciple of Ayers & Dohrn.

re: #207 Perry

It only takes one person....in the hospital, the odor of a GI bleed could be detected as soon as the elevator doors opened.

is it the iron or the zinc in the blood?

I'm in such a dilemma - trying to figure out what church i should subscribe to..
1. Rev Al's - Church of Green
or
2. Rev. Pat's Church of Carbon

worst ad ever made

/sarc

re: #203 BabbaZee

I was checking on whether an ostrich was kosher and this is what I found:
Is ostrich a Kosher bird?

* ANSWER:

While the Torah gives the special signs to recognize Kosher animal species (ruminants and split hooves) and kosher fish species (scales that can be easily removed and fins), there are no signs for birds species.

The Torah simply lists the names of the bird species that are not Kosher in their Hebrew names.

But what is the correct translation of these names? We don’t know for sure. And if we don’t know what can we do?

The only recourse then is to rely on tradition. Our forbearers relied on their forbearers and they relied on their forbearers, etc. The relatively few fowls that we consider Kosher today have been traditionally around century after century. Thus any bird species for which there is no tradition of being a Kosher species cannot be accepted to be Kosher.

There is no tradition that the ostrich had been a Kosher species. As such it is unacceptable in Kosher circles.

While it is against the law and against Halacha to raise sows in Israel, there are many ostrich farms in Israel. The Halacha forbids raising non-Kosher species of animal or fowl in the Holy Land. The courts have resisted attempts to outlaw such ostrich farms.

re: #210 nyc redneck

I've no true idea, but you could be right, especially when it had passed all the way through the GI tract, to put it delicately. And the way fragrances & odors are so deeply evocative of memories...that's a scary smell.

re: #208 psaturn

Hi Cognito! I agree with ya there!

So do I.
I think if someone of note or a significant media outlet expresses this kind of opinion it's different. But when a total nobody does it, I don't want to give him the attention.
I lost a nephew in Iraq.... and have another nephew serving there right now.

If to be the son of him who served his country in time of peril, be that what you call noble, then I am of the noblest extraction, but if from pampered lord and vicious prince alone descend the gift, then I am not.

Ellison, American Captive or Siege of Tripoli 1812

re: #213 Perry

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!

As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible.

As long as it's not palpable.

While in Tennessee several years ago, we visited a friend's emu and rhea farm. If I remember correctly, it didn't smell bad. I mostly remember the blazing sun (it was summertime).

My husband went into one of the pens and held an egg in his hands. His friend later gave him a hollowed-out egg (I can't remember which type). We've still got it.

The emus made a loud, drumming sound at certain times; it was cool.

We had friends here in Canada who were pig farmers. They thought I was such a priss for holding my nose when I went out to the barn with them.

As for Stinky's quote, "As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible," would an audible fragrance fall under synesthesia or some other condition?

The dentist gave me too much laughing gas once and I saw the music I was listening to.

Does anyone know if there's a dog club for mongrel owners? Everything I see in that line is for purebreds. Those are okay -- we've even had a couple of pedigreed Dobermans -- but on the whole, both Mr. Empire and I prefer mongrels like our current two (and the ones before that ... ). I'd kind of like to get together and trade stories, maybe have contests and such, for mutts.

-- Ann

re: #219 Empire1

Does anyone know if there's a dog club for mongrel owners? Everything I see in that line is for purebreds. Those are okay -- we've even had a couple of pedigreed Dobermans -- but on the whole, both Mr. Empire and I prefer mongrels like our current two (and the ones before that ... ). I'd kind of like to get together and trade stories, maybe have contests and such, for mutts.

-- Ann

Perhaps there's something under 'rescue dogs'? Thats what they call the dogs which are picked fro dog homes, they are mostly not pure breeds.
Best dogs in the world - I got two - well, only one now, but thats another story.

re: #98 marjoriemoon

Years ago, I used to forward them to an FBI address, when I could get the header from where it originated. I never got a response heh I've only gotten 1 or 2 in the last few years.

They tried stealing $395 from my 88-year-old mother's bank account. She sicced the FBI, the Air Force (bank was on base) and the Concord, MA, police force on them.

And I recently discovered that if you merely cruise a few websites looking for insurance information you have to spend weeks scraping jive-talking salesmen from Tennessee off your voice mail.

I think the ones falling for these scams are the same types hoping to get rich on lottery tickets.

re: #38 rabidsquirrel

During summers in high school and college, I worked for a company that serviced and installed feed, watering, and heating systems for swine and poultry operations. Most of the time it merely involved doing installation work on new facilities, but occasionally I had to do service calls on occupied buildings. The worst ever were a pair of 800 ft. turkey buildings up in Michigan in the middle of the summer. 90+ degrees, humidity around 90%, and the turkey houses were way overdue to be cleaned out. The smell was, shall we say, enough to make me long for the mere annoying odor of swine excrement.

    When I was 22 & had my first true love, I used to bicycle out to her house, 40 miles from my hometown (also in mid-Michigan).  I was a bit more thin at that time, and in better shape, and it used to take me a couple of hours to make the trip.  Go there, spend the weekend in bliss, go home on Sunday.
    There were challenges on the path to true love, though.  Big farm dogs used to love to chase my Raleigh (for which I used to carry an illegal police baton that someone had given me, in my backpack, handle sticking out).  Cars, of course, were always a nuisance, especially dimwitted farm lads who liked to throw things at bikers, when not shooting mail boxes.
    The worst, though, was a pig farm halfway along the route.  Pigs in the heat of August were not to be believed, and I always had the same problem:

(A) Peddle furiously through the cloud of eeeeeeeewze while holding my breath, knowing that I might run out of air and have to gasp in a big lung of that stuff if I didn't get through it fast enough, or ....

(B) Build up a huge amount of speed (which I did in any case) and hyperventilate & hold my breath while coasting through unpeddling (the idea being I might go further on a single lungful if I wasn't expelling any energy) ...

    Before the end of that summer, I'm not sure I came up with any answers.  But then, I was in love ...

}:)     [And she, sweetness, was worth it all; it was my best summer ever.]

I'm a city feller now, but I still think "spring" on the rare occasions I smell pig poop. I associate it with the spring thaw in the barnyard.

re: #218 Josephine

While in Tennessee several years ago, we visited a friend's emu and rhea farm. If I remember correctly, it didn't smell bad. I mostly remember the blazing sun (it was summertime).

My husband went into one of the pens and held an egg in his hands. His friend later gave him a hollowed-out egg (I can't remember which type). We've still got it.

The emus made a loud, drumming sound at certain times; it was cool.

We had friends here in Canada who were pig farmers. They thought I was such a priss for holding my nose when I went out to the barn with them.

As for Stinky's quote, "As the temperature rises, the fragrance of the ostrich farms becomes audible," would an audible fragrance fall under synesthesia or some other condition?

The dentist gave me too much laughing gas once and I saw the music I was listening to.

Speaking of birds, anyone else got turkeys passing through town? Ours just arrived last week. If you get a chance, park near a tom and turn off the engine. Then watch him try to hit on your car grille because he thinks his own reflection is a hen. Tail fanned and gobbling back whenever you honk the horn. Hysterical. Just be careful not to run him over, they're protected.

re: #220 yma o hyd

Perhaps there's something under 'rescue dogs'? Thats what they call the dogs which are picked fro dog homes, they are mostly not pure breeds.
Best dogs in the world - I got two - well, only one now, but thats another story.

We have rescue groups dedicated to individual breeds, various Humane Societies, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, and assorted other animal shelters too many to list, but none of those are clubs in the sense I mean, like the American Kennel Club and the various individual breed clubs.

I may have expressed myself poorly -- I was thinking more of a place, virtual or physical, where mongrel-lovers could get together to share stories of their beloved cross- or multi-breeds, have contests where mongrels could compete either for fun or to win titles, that sort of thing. Conformation contests, of course, would be totally out of the question! {grin}

-- Ann

re: #147 Charles
Understatement. That is a prime example of why I refuse to get near bi-pedal feces like that. I haven't the discipline necessary to keep from shithammering one of them.

re: #225 Empire1

We have rescue groups dedicated to individual breeds, various Humane Societies, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, and assorted other animal shelters too many to list, but none of those are clubs in the sense I mean, like the American Kennel Club and the various individual breed clubs.

I may have expressed myself poorly -- I was thinking more of a place, virtual or physical, where mongrel-lovers could get together to share stories of their beloved cross- or multi-breeds, have contests where mongrels could compete either for fun or to win titles, that sort of thing. Conformation contests, of course, would be totally out of the question! {grin}

-- Ann

Got ya ...
Well, the Kennel Club here has an extra show where mongrels, a.k.a. rescue dogs, show what they can do. Also, there are agility and flyball competitions which usually have cross-breeds competing. There are special clubs for those sports. Unfortunately, the best dogs always seem to have a Border Collie somewhere in their ancestry ...

As for exchange of stories and such - ahem, thats all us dogwalkers in the parks around here! We know each other's dogs by name, but not often the name of the person on the other end of the lead - and yes, stories, problems etc are exchanged regularly.

re: #65 HDrepub

Smellier? Everything is relative I suppose. Try riding a motorcycle across some of those states that have the super-size cattle feedlots on a warm summer day.

    A few years back on a trip across country my #1 son was sleeping next to me when we got within windward of Kansas City in the truck, windows open, middle of August.  No reaction for about 20 minutes, then he woke up.  He sat sleepily for a few minutes, then yawned, etc., and spent another ten minutes getting reoriented, etc.  After a while he said, "what is that smell?"
    "Cow shit," I said, "we're in Kansas, boy, it's one of their chief products!"
    "When does it stop?" he asked.
    "In about eight hours at our current speed," I said.
    I fear that common decency stops me from repeating his response here.
    "Well, it's clear YOU were never raised on a farm," I observed, laughing.
    And, again, I regretfully can't repeat his response.  Gads, but he hated Kansas, Nebraska, etc ...

}:)     [Good times ... ]

re: #75 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Saw a fake plastic scare-owl the other day at a movie theatre. Totally covered in pidgeon poop with a pidgeon sitting on it's head.

There's about eight of them on the roof of the gas station a couple of blocks from here.  Pigeons ignore them.  I think we either need ones that we can move by remote control to keep the pigeons guessing, or randomly exploding* fake owls.

}:)     [*Of course one of them would start a shoot-out in my neighborhood. So maybe not.]

Gotta go, Lizards - its nearly tomorrow here!
Good night, or 'nos da' as we say in the Language of Heaven :-)

There really WAS an ostrich farm in the L.A. area. Cawston Ostrich Farm. Look it up.

They had an early solar powered steam engine too.

re: #227 yma o hyd

As for exchange of stories and such - ahem, thats all us dogwalkers in the parks around here! We know each other's dogs by name, but not often the name of the person on the other end of the lead - and yes, stories, problems etc are exchanged regularly.

Oh, how nice! I live out in the country, about six miles from the nearest real town, and the only dogs I know besides our two are the landlady/neighbor's new little Pomeranian/Yorkie cross and the Lab mix half a mile or so down the other side ... not too satisfying, though it's nice that Missy's large enough now that I don't have to worry about stepping on her!

And yeah, I'm better with dog (or other pet) names than I am with people names myself ...

-- Ann

re: #147 Charles

Warning: upsetting link.

No kidding.  Well, someone just wants some attention, no?

}:)     [I see no sign of higher brain functions ... ]

re: #145 Charles

Ian Murphy is a fucking idiot. Genuine clue-bat bat material, this one.