OK!

This will help clear the air, the other threads moods were decidedly dark.

I am hopelessly pale.

re: #3 mama winger

I am hopelessly pale.

I hope they will find a place for me in the Changed America.

Should us Typical White People™ clap on one and four then?

re: #4 song_and_dance_man

I'm going to clap on 5 and 8.

I can do the waltz, altho my suspicion is that's not going to help.

Try not to clap on one and three, white people.

I feel like Steve Martin in The Jerk.

heck.. most white folk I know clap on 1 and 3, Japanese tend to clap on every beat or on 1 and 3...

What do we do when the music isn't written is 4/4 time?

re: #4 song_and_dance_man

I'm going to clap on 5 and 8.

you're one of those typical white people, aren't you?

re: #11 song_and_dance_man

Oh you typical white people are so above the beat.

That's why Carly Smithson got kicked off American Idol.

It's a 2 and 4 world.

repost from the end of the last thread:

Close your eyes. Imagine John McCain's pastor giving this speech about Black people. What do you see ?

re: #13 song_and_dance_man

I'm still kinda surprised about that.

I think you called it. Song didn't go over well. Bad choice.

funky!

goodnight folks - see you tomorrow

'Night, mama!

Gallup Daily Tracking
Obama - 47%
Clinton - 47%

Funky!

Onward to Denver!

_{See ya there, Rev. Wright!}

It takes me all my concentration and spastic foot thumping just to get the reggae "one drop" going on. Then it goes away. And, to me, skank will never be a verb.

It isnt 1/3 or 2/4 that pisses me off. Its the fact that no one in pop/hip hop music actually plays instruments any more. Just sample some cool riff that someone else came up with 30 years ago and mumble over the top of it.

I especially hate Puffy Colms.
"I have a great idea! Ill take a hit song, and Ill make a hit song out of it!"
Grrrr.

re: #21 DesertSage

Gallup Daily Tracking
Obama - 47%
Clinton - 47%

Funky!

Onward to Denver!

_{See ya there, Rev. Wright!}

Hahaa -- the Clintons are providing gas money.

re: #4 song_and_dance_man

You'll enjoy it more if you clap on 1 and 5.

Really like Frankie Beverly. Happy feelin is one of the best. I cannot help but feel if Rev. Wright was as high as most of us were when we listened to Frankie he wouldn't care how white folks clapped.

Dum ba di ba dom da do da

Robot Lawn Mower Can Lacerate, Probably Eat Humans
Run!

Sober, I can't dance. Much booze in my system and I'm not a bad dancer, but my rocket science and brain surgery skills are out the window.

I rather like this song....but what do I know? I'm a cracker....

The strong beats in funk are very often on the one and the three. See George Clinton. It's rock music that has strong beats on two and four. Listen for example to how the snare drum is isolated on AC/DC's "Back in Black."

/just sayin'

Maybe Reverend Wright has made new friends? Like the Clintons?

Heh. Heh.

Just a repetitive ookie boookie song. I hated it.

re: #31 godfrey

The strong beats in funk are very often on the one and the three. See George Clinton. It's rock music that has strong beats on two and four. Listen for example to how the snare drum is isolated on AC/DC's "Back in Black."

/just sayin'

Everything is on the one.

re: #28 Killgore Trout

Robot Lawn Mower Can Lacerate, Probably Eat Humans
Run!

The Liberals won't care if humans get eaten but Lord forbid some endangered chipmunk gets in its path.

Music. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Thanks Charles.

A certain ROP aspect to this story:

TUNIS, Tunisia, April 27 (UPI) -- A Tunisian family alleges their daughter was raped during a telephone conversation with a man, a lawyer for the family said.
The 30-year-old man said he never touched the young woman. But he acknowledged he heard her scream while they were "totally into" an erotic telephone conversation -- and that she reported bleeding, Al Arabiya reported. [Link: www.upi.com...]

Immaculate deception?

re: #8 Sharmuta

I feel like Steve Martin in The Jerk.

That's exactly what came to my mind! YouTube doesn't appear to have that particular clip but it has one in a similar vein.

re: #12 mama winger

hey Mama Winger, how goes it?

My mother-in-law totally claps on 1 and 3 which made me laugh when reading this thread. She is notorious for that.

Here's a good example of everything on the one: Make It Funky.

re: #38 EC Marm

A certain ROP aspect to this story:

Immaculate deception?

Oh, for the love of Pete...

re: #28 Killgore Trout

Robot Lawn Mower Can Lacerate, Probably Eat Humans
Run!

I've got the solution. Make the mower 500 lbs.

Sigh. I miss Tower Of Power.

re: #30 Grammy Cracker

You are a grammy cracker and that is different. How are ya?

re: #28 Killgore Trout

Robot Lawn Mower Can Lacerate, Probably Eat Humans
Run!

I for one welcome our new lawnmower overlords...

re: #8 Sharmuta

I feel like Steve Martin in The Jerk.

Lord loves a working man and don't trust whitey!

re: #45 conservgirl

You are a grammy cracker and that is different. How are ya?

I'm good! You?

Just trying to stay sane amidst all this insanity....LOL

boo-gee woo-gee music?

re: #39 SlartyBartfast

That's exactly what came to my mind! YouTube doesn't appear to have that particular clip but it has one in a similar vein.

I'd love you if you were the color of a baboons ass!

Touching.

re: #39 SlartyBartfast

Dude! I was just going to link that! LOL

re: #46 Palandine

I want one.

re: #48 Grammy Cracker

You are the sanest cracker I know..

I am well thank you for inquiring...

re: #52 Killgore Trout

Like the new avatar, to me at least.

By the way, the flamencos have it all over us, black and white, when it comes to syncopation. Their rhythms are often in twelve. Thing of beauty.

re: #54 conservgirl

There are many people to offend, I'll get around to everyone sooner or later.

I'm more in tune to the Rhythm of the Sea

>clap<
>clap< >clap<...>CLAP<
>clap< >clap<
>clap<

sigh...

re: #49 BignJames

boo-gee woo-gee music?

At first I thought you were saying Bee Gee music....

Don't quite know what you call this, but the guy on the right is a friend of ours. I like it.

So, how do I know whether I'm clapping on the 1 and 3, or the 2 and 4?

(I am the most musically inept person on the face of this earth).

re: #56 Killgore Trout

There are many people to offend, I'll get around to everyone sooner or later.

BWAH! LOL

re: #47 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Lord loves a working man and don't trust whitey!

All I need is this ashtray one beat.

re: #56 Killgore Trout

There are many people to offend, I'll get around to everyone sooner or later.

An equal opportunity offender.

re: #53 conservgirl

You are the sanest cracker I know..

I am well thank you for inquiring...

Thanks! It takes real effort some days! LOL

Guess we can all say that, though...

re: #64 Grammy Cracker

Thanks! It takes real effort some days! LOL

Guess we can all say that, though...

Specially if we a cracker!

Huffington Post writer scratches head:

I'm not saying the brokered convention is now likely, or desirable -- please, no hate mail -- but if Hillary does very well from now until June, and the fight gets even nastier, try to imagine what the atmosphere might be like after that. With Clinton already fostering an anti-Obama attitude, and Obama backers ready to resent the nomination being "stolen" by Hillary, is it impossible that a "third way" will at least be considered? [Link: www.huffingtonpost.com...]

Hey lurkers, be the first one to get your "Draft Gore 2008" mouse pads, here.

At least Earth, Wind, and Fire used to wear colorful, tye-dyed dashikis. What's this guy doin?

re: #56 Killgore Trout

Well the picture of Hitchens on that Budha body makes me chuckle.

re: #28 Killgore Trout

LOL. Everytime I see a warning label on something, I think of the poor fool who created it.

re: #65 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Specially if we a cracker!

Das right! I be a victim of my, uh, crackerness! Yeh, das it!

re: #65 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Don't you like crackers being a fat bastard vegetarian?

re: #60 reine.de.tout

If everybody else is clapping and then you are clapping out of sync.

I thought a cracker was a Florididian cowboy.

Here's a man who probably claps on 1 and 5...at least for this song:

Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill" from 1977.

/I count this as 7/4 except for the turn-around measure in 4/4.

Try clapping in 10/8.

You can keep my things
They've come to take me home

I have a problem with people randomly head bobbing to songs, also...

Whatever happened to "No Shoes, No Service"?

Cracker, synonymous with honkey. Derogatory slang for white person, except no white people really care about being called either one.

re: #79 Grammy Cracker

Hey Cracker, how are you this evening?

My husband is so musically impaired, he couldn't keep rhythm if you stuck a metronome up his ass. Why, yes, he's so white he glows in the dark; why do you ask?

EC Marm (#66),

Can't get either group of supporters to go for the other? Choose a third.

It's how Lincoln got the nod.

Samael - The Cross

EIN!,
R

re: #76 Cartman
Hey, how you doing?

re: #80 DesertSage

Hey Cracker, how are you this evening?

Good evening, Sage! I'm doing great tonight. How are things your way?

re: #80 DesertSage

How you doin'? Heard that fire was 400+ acres now?

re: #84 EC Marm

Pretty good, EC. You?

re: #85 Grammy Cracker

Good evening, Sage! I'm doing great tonight. How are things your way?

Well, I didn't have to get evacuated, so that's a good thing.

re: #81 doppelganglander

My husband is so musically impaired, he couldn't keep rhythm if you stuck a metronome up his ass. Why, yes, he's so white he glows in the dark; why do you ask?

ummm,,TMI about you and your husbands peccadilloes !

re: #60 reine.de.tout

A lot of pop music can be divided into groups of four rhythmic pulses or beats. The snare drum often gets hit on beats two and four.

That's one way to tell.

re: #88 DesertSage

It sounds very scary to me....don't take any undue chances.
Hopefully they will get it under control soon so you can relax.

re: #82 Geepers

EC Marm (#66),

Can't get either group of supporters to go for the other? Choose a third.

It's how Lincoln got the nod.

A couple days ago I figured somebody would start floating the Gore balloon around any day. There it is. I love it. He could actually win the nomination, the Hillary folks would stay home, the Obama folks would stay home, and the Republican sails in.

re: #86 BignJames

How you doin'? Heard that fire was 400+ acres now?

They're just starting to contain it. It's not threatening homes anymore though.
[Link: news.yahoo.com...]

re: #71 conservgirl

Don't you like crackers being a fat bastard vegetarian?

Love crackers...specially {grammy cracker}s!

re: #66 EC Marm

Huffington Post writer scratches head:

Hey lurkers, be the first one to get your "Draft Gore 2008" mouse pads, here.

I use an old scrap of paper does that count?

re: #81 doppelganglander

My husband is so musically impaired, he couldn't keep rhythm if you stuck a metronome up his ass. Why, yes, he's so white he glows in the dark; why do you ask?

That's quite the visual! ROFL!

/_{my childhood nic was Casper.....}

re: #79 Grammy Cracker

Cracker, synonymous with honkey. Derogatory slang for white person, except no white people really care about being called either one.

Yet another descriptive, historically produced term shanghaied by time and colloquial misuse.

Kinda like 'John McCain, Conservative'

Time to go upstairs...--------------->

re: #95 BBev

I use an old scrap of paper does that count?

is it a dimpled chad ?

re: #87 Cartman

Pretty good, EC. You?

Bitter. Clinging to my antipathy, Bibles, and guns. Typical White Person from Pennsylvania. :~)

re: #94 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

Love crackers...specially {grammy cracker}s!

Awwwww! {FBV} too!

Crackers and veggies usually get along well!

re: #100 EC Marm

Bitter. Clinging to my antipathy, Bibles, and guns. Typical White Person from Pennsylvania. :~)

Same here. You're in good company. ;)

I just bought the song "raging waters" from Al Jarreau`s Live in London record on itunes. I hope you get a cent or two Mr.Johnson-). Music for "white" people:

re: #99 sattv4u2

is it a dimpled chad ?

No it's an old verizon phone bill but it could be if I were a Dimocrat.

see y'all. G'night Jason.

re: #105 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

see y'all. G'night Jason.

G'night, FBV! Sleep tight!

re: #79 Grammy Cracker

Honky Maid Grammy Crackers

/

re: #107 slokat

Honky Maid Grammy Crackers

/

ROFL! Someone else likes to play with PhotoShop?!

. . . or as McCain might say, "We are Juan"

Twilight!

re: #34 Charles

Everything is on the one.

...typical white person on guitar.

Am I wrong for liking all sorts of music?

One of the best jazz musicians--and classical musicians--in the world is Japanese. An obscure composer named Yoko Kanno.

I've learned to listen to all kinds of music over the years, and I feel richer for doing so. R & B and hip-hop get boring compared to Verdi's DIES IRAE. (or Mozart's. Or Hirano's*....)

Though to be fair to rap music, Puffy/Diddy did do a cool cover with Kashmir. And Jimmy Page was there, so it was paid for, so to speak.

And hearing real talent is always nice, no matter the color.

[* For Hirano's version of DIES IRAE, you have to watch a little series on CN's ADULT SWIM called DEATH NOTE. Or, you can buy the DVD.]

= = =

I know I'm strange. I've heard the Fifth Dimension sing about beautiful balloons on WDXZ(it was an easy listening station) while the rest of my clan was listening to the local "black" music station Z-93/WWWZ. That was when I didn't have the radio changed to NPR classical music.

Which is not to say that black musicians were without talent. I just hated monotony.

Music belongs to everyone--every group on earth, every culture on earth has some type of musical instrument. Even those POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS who have to hear the hellish warbling of the adhan.

= = =

As far as dialects:

Gullah is a legit dialect. Creole is a legit dialect. Ebonics is not a dialect.

At any rate, none of these will land you a job outside the Avery Research Institute in Charleston, SC.

= = =

Open letter to my fellow African-Americans*:

Learn English. It's a rich and beautiful, yet simple language. Crack open books that weren't written by bitter, man-hating black women. Think of the innocent; protect the innocent--damn the guilty.

Take charge of your own life and your own destiny. If you screw up, admit it and correct it. If you don't know, ask someone to teach you.

If you are correct, and the "white man" is out to get you--why cede all that power? Why put him in charge of your life?

I don't know. I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't envy people's money or opportunities. I figure that if I had made different decisions, I'd be in a different place today.

Maybe you should have watched He-Man instead of Roots during the 80s. Maybe I HAVE THE POWER just has more meaning to the here and now than KUNTA KINTE (who's dead and gone). (presuming that Alex Haley's telling the truth and he was ever there in the first place.)

Seriously: we must move forward. We must move on.

We won't get any money from Robert Byrd's ancestors, and I--as an individual--wouldn't want it. I can make my own way in the world--just move out of my way. That's the attitude we need now, not this "we're deeply offended by stupid jokes" whining.

And to the NAACP: You suck. You've sucked since the Missy McLaughlin incident**, and you will continue to suck until you, your fellow anti-feminist whiners at NOW and the useless eco-elitists of PETA finally wither and die.

The leaders of these organized gripe clubs are old. Their ideas are antiquated. Their logic processes are decrepit. Get out of the 1960s. I wasn't even born until 1976: by that time, Dr. King and Malcom Little had already been murdered, along with late President Kennedy and his brother Robert.

We have to remember the past. No argument here.

Understand this, though: I, "Anubis Crasher Soundwave", have no wish to relive the past--again and again. We have the power to forgive our(supposed) enemies, and take the power of past hurts away from them. Use it!

* Hopefully, I won't ever use this POWER RANGER hyphenation ever again on a message board.

** Happened in my state. Four goons gang-raped and tortured a young girl to death. Unfortunately, the goons were black, and the teenager was white.

NAACP--to the rescue of criminal lowlifes across the country!
NAACP--they're too chickenshit to just admit that they want to burn the stupid Confederate flag, so they organize dumb boycotts of my state--costing people jobs.

And don't get me started about Asbury Wilder....

= = =

Late....

Actually, personally, the only claping on this should be on 4.

MGMT "

wow - take me back, thanks! Southern girl...lots of lovin', lots of fun...

Heyyyy, I'm white...I agree w/114, only clap on 4, that's what I was thinking after 1 measure (correct me if I'm wrong, "white-I-am-under-the-impression Jazz Guy Charles!). I see of course, that other commenters (just scrolled up a bit w/out reading all comments) seem to be missing the point of this bad-ass post!

T

PS - oh yeah, I also DJ, play electric bass, the occasional conga...but "this ain't Roots, m***f***!" (ref the film "Go").