Be nice to your monkey.

Change is good.

Don't argue with him, give him a typewriter. He'll earn big bucks as an MSM "reporter" and you can retire.

re: #2 DesertSage

Change is good.

Change your monkey!

I hope my monkey does not need a change.

beep beep
new thread up comment spy watchers

Never argue with your monkey.

Indeed- it's not the best way to get him off your back. Instead- offer a banana.

Be nice to Mick.

Monkeys are funny

good evening folks

Obamation is looking for a new church - "nothing controversial, maybe the Amish who don't have electricity and won't end up on YouTube."

poor baby. looking for that trophy church to pad his image.

re: #3 Panhandler

I thought that required ten thousand monkeys with ten thousand typewriters and one might type a work by Shakespeare... eventually.

Under the "Album Playing" in the sidebar, it says "Born With Monkey Asses". ROFLOL

Obama taken to task: Typical White Americans!

re: #9 MandyManners

I had no idea what was in the video. I'm sorry.

Better not argue with this monkey.

As a kid my mom wouldn't let me have a monkey.

nerd alert: [Link: goosh.org...]

Ever watch the referees during a hockey game?

Man these guys can skate.

re: #13 ExitRamp

I thought that required ten thousand monkeys with ten thousand typewriters and one might type a work by Shakespeare... eventually.

I said MSM "reporter", we're not talking vibrant living prose here.

re: #5 song_and_dance_man

Like in Soviet Russia.

And for those watching Iran carefully, more terror!

re: #1 MandyManners

Be nice to your monkey.

Mandy is right! Do not spank your monkey!

re: #24 Bob in Breckenridge

Mandy is right! Do not spank your monkey!

I'm having a hard time reading your post. Could you make your text bigger?

Nothing to be mentioned about monkeys and spanking.

re: #1 MandyManners

Be nice to your monkey.

How's the hamster?

/could have been worse, could have been a ferret

re: #24 Bob in Breckenridge

Mandy is right! Do not spank your monkey!

This thread maintained a high moral tone, it took till comment #24 to bring out the expected remark.

re: #25 Racer X

I'm having a hard time reading your post. Could you make your text bigger?

This ain't no boob thread, is it?

"Touch my monkey."

Dieter/Sprockets

re: #20 Cognito

We don't keep up with hockey, it's just not really big down here. But tonight my 4 year old wanted the TV on while he fell asleep (we're visiting grandparents, tv in the room we're sleeping in), so I asked him what he wanted to watch. I scrolled past at least three different sports, including baseball, he was not interested in the least.

Got to the hockey game and he yelled "STOP!", jumped up, grabbed a golf club (hey we're at granddad's!) and started SWINGING IT around here in the bedroom. Almost took the TV out. LOL He'd never ever seen a hockey game in his life- but went from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat when it came on. I do believe I've found a sport for him to try out. ;)

Monkey smell Monkey doo

#28

high moral tone .. ha !

we now return you to our continual 24 hour broadcast of monkey spanking.

Never argue with your monkey.

Damn right!

/they're vicious biters and the fling feces at the drop of a hat

re: #25 Racer X

I'm having a hard time reading your post. Could you make your text bigger?

LOL! I was about to ask if you were serious!

Well, this was met with resounding silence when I posted it last night, so I'm back for more ignorance (as in the state or condition of being ignored).

         Footprint photographed in Martian soil!

/go ahead, click it. You know you want to.

I love commentspy. If it was rss I'd put it on my firefox ticker and remove everything else.

Scott McClellan is a whore.
(And I used to kind of like him- he struck me as a sympathetic loser attempting to do a job that was a little bigger than him. And I even kind of felt bad about the lack of success he has undoubtedly had with women in his life.)

re: #30 song_and_dance_man

I Soviet Russia, monkey spanks you!

/Yakov(sp?)

Monkey abuse! The new Obama platform...

re: #36 Bob in Breckenridge

LOL!

Dinner! Eat all you want! Try and top this! Not limited!

re: #35 Killian Bundy
They will, however, keep you flea free!

re: #37 Opilio

Well, this was met with resounding silence when I posted it last night, so I'm back for more ignorance (as in the state or condition of being ignored).

         Footprint photographed in Martian soil!

/go ahead, click it. You know you want to.

Msn online explained it today. That is actually the print of the claw, when it took a soil sample.

re: #34 Buster Bunny

#28

high moral tone .. ha !

we now return you to our continual 24 hour broadcast of monkey spanking.

Sprang for the complete cable package I see. Is it really all that clearer in HiDef?

re: #32 gop_patriot

We don't keep up with hockey, it's just not really big down here. But tonight my 4 year old wanted the TV on while he fell asleep (we're visiting grandparents, tv in the room we're sleeping in), so I asked him what he wanted to watch. I scrolled past at least three different sports, including baseball, he was not interested in the least.

Got to the hockey game and he yelled "STOP!", jumped up, grabbed a golf club (hey we're at granddad's!) and started SWINGING IT around here in the bedroom. Almost took the TV out. LOL He'd never ever seen a hockey game in his life- but went from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat when it came on. I do believe I've found a sport for him to try out. ;)

It's not big where I am either -- I know nothing about hockey, really -- but I'm watching these referees whip around the ice, ducking and dodging, and it's a marvel.

Scott McClellan is an assmonkey

Oh ya
Open thread
oh yaaaaaa
open thread

Once when I was young I was opening a coconut by a monkey cage. My girl friend was leaning against the cage. Little bastard attacked her. Grabbing at her hair. I cut myself trying to kill little creep. Between the monkey screaming and GF screaming it was chaos.LOL.

re: #15 Carridine

carradine -

MIGHT you be saying that the blood of about 625,000, mostly white male folks constitutes "ATONEMENT," just wondering?

-S-

In Soviet Russia, you don't spank monkey, monkey spank you.

re: #45 Mars Needs Neocons

Msn online explained it today. That is actually the print of the claw, when it took a soil sample.

Yes, but how do you explain that Necco Wafer wrapper off to the left?

re: #32 gop_patriot

And get that boy some skates! (And boxing lessons.)

Hey y'all - what's all this monkey business about?

re: #48 cliffster
What did the monkey do to deserve that?

re: #54 Racer X

Yes, but how do you explain that Necco Wafer wrapper off to the left?

The monkey piloting phoenix has to eat too.

aside from that movie where Jim Carey tries to play god, where else in existence .. have you heard of an assmonkey? (excluding politics)

re: #12 frodolives

Obamation is looking for a new church - "nothing controversial, maybe the Amish who don't have electricity and won't end up on YouTube."

poor baby. looking for that trophy church to pad his image.

Given his current wife's likely negative effect on his positive poll numbers maybe Barry should find one that offers polygamy?

All of your monkey are belonging to us.

Very good article on Obama by Stanley Kurtz at NRO, definitely worth a look.
No Liberation

A lot of it is inspired by a glassy-eyed backgrounded at the Chicago Reader from 1995.
What Makes Obama Run?

And Bill Clinton has responded to the teapot tempest smear piece at lightweight Vanity Fair.
Bill Clinton Calls Vanity Fair Writer "Scumbag," "Sleazy"

It's my personal opinion that this was a Pelosi-inspired lovetap serving warning that the Obamite dem leadership won't put up with any DNC credentials fight nonsense when they expect to put the railroad job locomotive in the wheelhouse long before then.

If I was Hillary, I'd just ignore it. Her power base is as strong as Pelosi's, and she knows it.

re: #47 Cognito

It's not big where I am either -- I know nothing about hockey, really -- but I'm watching these referees whip around the ice, ducking and dodging, and it's a marvel.

Watching them skate backwards and avoid getting creamed by the players reminds me of what Ginger Rodgers said once: she could do everything that Fred Astaire did, only she did it backwards and in high heels. :)

/that may or may not be exactly what she said; if not, it's close.

re: #56 realwest

Hey y'all - what's all this monkey business about?

AH, er -- maybe you should ask your Mom to leave the room Real, the double entants are going to be flying on this one.

OOoh Tory MPP demands investigation into polygamy.

can any techie soul hep me? for the last few days, i've gotten 20-40 e-mails a day--mail delivery errors, etc--most seem to be from russian or chech sites--hubby says i've been "spoofed" and doesnt know what to do about it-(if i WAS spoofed, it should have at least been pleasurable!) run norton--nothing there-- HEP ME!

re: #13 ExitRamp

I thought that required ten thousand monkeys with ten thousand typewriters and one might type a work by Shakespeare... eventually.

That premise has been disproved by the folks over at AOL.
// {;-)™

re: #52 ccrnyc

In Soviet Russia, you don't spank monkey, monkey spank you.

That evokes a cataclysm of unwelcome and logistically improbable visuals.

/Closes eyes and shakes head vigorously

re: #45 Mars Needs Neocons

Msn online explained it today. That is actually the print of the claw, when it took a soil sample.

Awwwwwwww!

Now you ruined it.   :-(

On the plus side, you actually looked at it.   :-)

Still, it looks a lot like a footprint of something with 4 relatively square toes.

Everybody's got something to hide, except for me and my monkey.

/upgraded from mice, lol

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad predicted on Monday that Muslims would uproot "satanic powers" and repeated his controversial belief that Israel will soon disappear, the Mehr news agency reported.
"I must announce that the Zionist regime (Israel), with a 60-year record of genocide, plunder, invasion and betrayal is about to die and will soon be erased from the geographical scene," he said.
"Today, the time for the fall of the satanic power of the United States has come and the countdown to the annihilation of the emperor of power and wealth has started."

Dosen't the US have a missle with his name on it?

re: #52 ccrnyc

In Soviet Russia, you don't spank monkey, monkey spank you.

"cccp" - oops sorry - "ccrnyc" -

In OLD soviet Russia - Man Problem? - No Man-No Problem!

"Dzugashvilli" +/- 1934.

-S-

From [Link: www.urbandictionary.com:...]

Assmonkey

A close relative of an asshat, an assmonkey is best defined as 'any disagreeable idiot who has successfully combined being an asshole with the brainpower of a monkey fed LSD'.

Eytemology is unknown, but there are perhaps links to Wayne's World, and the line "Pshyeah, and monkeys might fly out my butt."

re: #35 Killian Bundy
Killian, I visited a friend in San Fran, and was introduced to his female chimp roommate, told not to act aggressively and we'd be fine friends...

A half-hour later, engrossed in our discussion, I walk toward the open window and, nearly there, Chimpette scampers past me and jumps to the window sill (leading to a 3-story drop)!

Reflexively, I reach to restrain her and she, reflexively, bites my obnoxious hand!

I gasped, then went limp and un-aggressive, dropping all muscle tension... and she opened her bite, let go of the web between thumb and forefinger...

Then, 3 minutes later, as I was far from the window and nursing my purple tooth-marks, she moseyed over, draped her arm around my neck, sat in my lap and murmured for my forgiveness! Woosh! :D

OMG I'm tired...i'm so tired i can barely use capital letters
GOOD GRAVY.

re: #72 solomonpanting

And how many times has that countdown been restarted?

re: #65 Panhandler Ah, my mom is never in the room when I'm on the computer -she still looks at it as an "alien being" and actually walks a wide way around it! LOL!

re: #27 Killian Bundy

How's the hamster?

/could have been worse, could have been a ferret

I'm gonna' hafta' feed him Valium. The Kid went ga-ga over Nibbles and wouldn't leave him alone for hours.

Our Yorkie was very curious at first but became incredibly despondent over the lack of attention paid to her. The cat is very interested. He even licked his chops. I suspect they're gonna' conspire to bring about Nibbles' untimely demise.

re: #72 solomonpanting

He will never even hear it coming.

re: #70 Opilio

Awwwwwwww!

Now you ruined it.   :-(

On the plus side, you actually looked at it.   :-)

Still, it looks a lot like a footprint of something with 4 relatively square toes.

I actually like the article on the mini planet (actually it's three times the size of earth, but it's the smallest extra solar planet we've discovered), but I can't find it now.

oooo Massive Attack. I used to love that Cd. I'm a big fan of Liz Frasier.

Wayne: "Shaaa.. and monkeys might fly out of my butt!" ...
Close but not quite assmonkey

re: #75 Carridine

Killian, I visited a friend in San Fran, and was introduced to his female chimp roommate, told not to act aggressively and we'd be fine friends...

A half-hour later, engrossed in our discussion, I walk toward the open window and, nearly there, Chimpette scampers past me and jumps to the window sill (leading to a 3-story drop)!

Reflexively, I reach to restrain her and she, reflexively, bites my obnoxious hand!

I gasped, then went limp and un-aggressive, dropping all muscle tension... and she opened her bite, let go of the web between thumb and forefinger...

Then, 3 minutes later, as I was far from the window and nursing my purple tooth-marks, she moseyed over, draped her arm around my neck, sat in my lap and murmured for my forgiveness! Woosh! :D

"And then, while she was sleeping, I shoved a mechanical pencil in her ear."

re: #81 song_and_dance_man

One of the best Beatle songs from the White Album

There are so many good ones on that album, how can one pick a favorite?

A monkey walks into a bar with a parrot on its shoulder and orders a beer.
the bartender says, "hey, thats pretty cool where did you get it"
the parrot responds, "Africa, there everywhere"

Code Monkey Dance Live

/Emily finally meets Jonathan Coulton

re: #72 solomonpanting

Dosen't the US have a missle with his name on it?

I'm quite sure there is a polonium milkshake with his name on it.

re: #79 MandyManners

I'm gonna' hafta' feed him Valium. The Kid went ga-ga over Nibbles and wouldn't leave him alone for hours.

Our Yorkie was very curious at first but became incredibly despondent over the lack of attention paid to her. The cat is very interested. He even licked his chops. I suspect they're gonna' conspire to bring about Nibbles' untimely demise.

Finally gave into kids yesterday and got a kitten. He's already observing the gerbils as if they are future snacks.

oops - Liz Fraser

re: #72 solomonpanting

Dosen't the US have a missle with his name on it?

I say a new Executive Order is needed.

President Gerald R. Ford's Executive Order 11905
(g) Prohibition of Assassination. No employee of the United States Government shall engage in, or conspire to engage in, political assassination.

re: #79 MandyManners

My hamster was named Nibbles, but I suppose it is likely that 85% of all hamsters are named Nibbles.

re: #60 song_and_dance_man

Miller light commercial w/Yakov.

re: #85 Cognito
ROFL! :D

/...that'll teach you! *grunt!*

re: #85 Cognito

Zing!

Since we're talking about Monkey Business, how's this grab y'all:

Time Warner Cable tries metering Internet use
NEW YORK - You're used to paying extra if you use up your cell phone minutes, but will you be willing to pay extra if your home computer goes over its Internet allowance?

Time Warner Cable Inc. customers - and, later, others - may have to, if the company's test of metered Internet access is successful.

On Thursday, new Time Warner Cable Internet subscribers in Beaumont, Texas, will have monthly allowances for the amount of data they upload and download. Those who go over will be charged $1 per gigabyte, a Time Warner Cable executive told the Associated Press.

Metered billing is an attempt to deal fairly with Internet usage, which is very uneven among Time Warner Cable's subscribers, said Kevin Leddy, Time Warner Cable's executive vice president of advanced technology.

Just 5 percent of the company's subscribers take up half of the capacity on local cable lines, Leddy said. Other cable Internet service providers report a similar distribution.

"We think it's the fairest way to finance the needed investment in the infrastructure," Leddy said.

Metered usage is common overseas, and other U.S. cable providers are looking at ways to rein in heavy users. Most have download caps, but some keep the caps secret so as not to alarm the majority of users, who come nowhere close to the limits. Time Warner Cable appears to be the first major ISP to charge for going over the limit: Other companies warn, then suspend, those who go over.
Time Warner Cable had said in January that it was planning to conduct the trial in Beaumont, but did not give any details. On Monday, Leddy said its tiers will range from $29.95 a month for relatively slow service at 768 kilobits per second and a 5-gigabyte monthly cap to $54.90 per month for fast downloads at 15 megabits per second and a 40-gigabyte cap. Those prices cover the Internet portion of subscription bundles that include video or phone services. Both downloads and uploads will count toward the monthly cap.
Those who mainly do Web surfing or e-mail have little reason to pay attention to the traffic caps: a gigabyte is about 3,000 Web pages, or 15,000 e-mails without attachments. But those who download movies or TV shows will want to pay attention. A standard-definition movie can take up 1.5 gigabytes, and a high-definition movie can be 6 to 8 gigabytes.
[Link: enews.earthlink.net...]
Wonder if we'll get a credit for all the damn "down time" we get using Time Warner?!

IMHO- this Beatles song is the GrandDaddy of punk rock.

Charles-OY forget about the clunky article I posted aabout the mutherclucking polygamists in Ontario.

THIS IS HILARIOUS. Iowahawk's latest.
EZRA has arrived....Steyn and Ezra versus Warman. OMG I'm dying.

re: #92 unrealizedviewpoint

I say a new Executive Order is needed.

President Gerald R. Ford's Executive Order 11905
(g) Prohibition of Assassination. No employee of the United States Government shall engage in, or conspire to engage in, political assassination.

Then let's call it a religious assassination.

Gonna head to the gym. Be back for the next "morning" thread...

Wings and Penguins going into double overtime!
...I'm sleepy, excited but sleepy.

re: #85 Cognito

"And then, while she was sleeping, I shoved a mechanical pencil in her ear."

That was funny.

re: #72 solomonpanting

"sol-pant"

"I'm-In-a-Mood-For-Jihad" - President of "So-Called Iran" - REALLY PERSIA, CHECK YOUR HISTORY!, doesn't really need a U.S. Missile with HIS name on it. History and Hashem will sort it ALL out.

-S-

re: #71 laZardo

Everybody's got something to hide, except for me and my monkey.

/upgraded from mice, lol

Lesson learned the hard way - DO NOT, when Olongopo, get a monkey drunk, sneak him back aboard ship and expect him to act in a rational way the next morning when he discovers he's 300 yards past the breakwater.

re: #104 song_and_dance_man

So true - Dear Prudence

I LOVE that song!

re: #82 Mars Needs Neocons

I actually like the article on the mini planet (actually it's three times the size of earth, but it's the smallest extra solar planet we've discovered), but I can't find it now.

This?
Mini-planet almost fits Earth’s profile

re: #108 justadot

This?
Mini-planet almost fits Earth’s profile

YEP

If Mr Beaumont got a raise he could afford to argue with Mrs. Beaumont.
/The People's Union of LGF Hempsters.

please--can someone respond to my plea for hepl above--#67? tyia--i'll pay ya-lol

My favorite song about monkeys

re: #111 song_and_dance_man

The only song I don't like on that album is Goodnight.

Martha, My Dear for me.

OT - Chester A. Arthur did not have a VP during his entire 3+ years of presidency.

/just learned that, thought you all should learn it too.
//assuming you didn't already know it

re: #99 WriterMom

Oh that's hilarious, thanks for posting! X)

re: #92 unrealizedviewpoint

"ur-vp" -

Like - "DOH!" Ford/King, Had NO CHOICE. He too might have been impeached as well had he NOT signed off on that Clap-Trap.

-S-

re: #112 mikeymom

please--can someone respond to my plea for hepl above--#67? tyia--i'll pay ya-lol

Wot kind of hepl do you need?

re: #117 song_and_dance_man

Oh, and Revolution #9

Indeed.

re: #56 realwest
re: #52 ccrnyc

Thats really funny! :)

Ok you asked for it

from the film Bruce Almighty ..

The Assmonkey

yes .. that one.

I once got body slammed by a monkey. Was on vacation in Aruba. Sitting by the pool,drinking a Heineken. Some lunatic had a teenage chimp. Little bugger took off on all fours screeching. Felt like a freight train hit me. Couldn't save the beer.

If I had a nickel for each time I had to tell my significant other that we were NOT getting a monkey, I could buy something.

Something expensive...

Like enough 93 octane to move a 67 El Dorado from New York to Frisco.

re: #112 mikeymom

please--can someone respond to my plea for hepl above--#67? tyia--i'll pay ya-lol

you said spoofed... heh heh.. heh..

change your email password. first of all..

re: #97 realwest

I saw that. My first reaction is to wonder just who the idiots are at TWC who believe that raising the cost of their product is the way attract new customers and retain the old ones. I also noticed the article I saw mentioned how dial-up used to charge by the hour. What was it that caused dial-up to take off? Unlimited access at one price presented to the public by AOL. Time Warner needs to get with the program.

Monkeys! *Includes cheesy, NSFW innuendo*

re: #124 song_and_dance_man

Yeah, that song is kinda cheesy.

But that's Paul for you- the King of Cheesy.

re: #119 rawmuse

for the past few days, ive been getting 20-40 emails a day--maile delivery errors, daemon, etc--mont from russian and chech sites--hubby says ive been "spoofef" but doeant know what to do--as i said earlier--if i've been spoofed, i hope it was pleasurable--i would like to know--is this dangerous? ran norton-nothing showed--waz up?

re: #112 mikeymom

please--can someone respond to my plea for hepl above--#67? tyia--i'll pay ya-lol

Well, I'm not a techie . . . here's my .02:

You could click each e-mail and choose "junk" to add them to your blocked sender's list, but they are probably using different e-mail addresses all the time so that won't slow things down.

Being a non-techie - I would (and have done this) change my e-mail address, and also set up a 2nd e-mail address. One is for your "real" mail, the mail you get from people you know, etc. Use the 2nd address whenever you need to fill in a form at a website where you are ordering something, etc. These places are usually where your e-mail address will get sold to other places, and you end up getting lots and lots of spam.

re: #88 Killian Bundy

Geek chicks rule!

re: #90 Mars Needs Neocons

Finally gave into kids yesterday and got a kitten. He's already observing the gerbils as if they are future snacks.

Our cat still drinks out of the fish's bowl.

Hi kids. Whassup?

re: #123 ted

i once got spit on and attacked by a llama in a petting zoo--nasty!

re: #93 OldLineTexan

My hamster was named Nibbles, but I suppose it is likely that 85% of all hamsters are named Nibbles.

I'll keep that from The Kid. He named it himself. It was either that or Pete.

re: #130 mikeymom

Yes, I had that going on for a while as well. Don't respond to any of them. Report the abuse the Internet provider. Mine eventually stopped. I have had my same email address for about 11 years.

re: #125 tankdemon

Hold your ground, TD. No one should have a pet that requires diapers; that's just all kinds of wrong.

re: #127 WayDownSouthInBama

I saw that. My first reaction is to wonder just who the idiots are at TWC who believe that raising the cost of their product is the way attract new customers and retain the old ones. I also noticed the article I saw mentioned how dial-up used to charge by the hour. What was it that caused dial-up to take off? Unlimited access at one price presented to the public by AOL. Time Warner needs to get with the program.

I live in NYC..TW is the scum of the earth. Verizon FIOS will bury them.

re: #131 reine.de.tout

ty- but not an option yet--i think--but thx

re: #132 Killgore Trout

Geek chicks rule!

She can dance.

/Walk the Walk Dance

Since we're talking about monkeys, well, er... monkeys have monkeys, and anyone who has spent any time at a zoo knows that....
well, never mind. :)

Can I slap my monkey?

(While playing turned based games, this used as an imperative to hit the space bar and end your turn)...

What your you thinking?

Well anyway. I'm out. Feeling sick, have a job interview in the am with the BLM. The two things are not connected LOL.

If anyone knows how savages story ended drop me an email.

re: #135 mikeymom

i once got spit on and attacked by a llama in a petting zoo--nasty!

Llamas are just lost and disfigured camels. Foul tempered spitters with South American pedigrees.

re: #139 Slumbering Behemoth

I have given in several times and gotten her the plush stuffed version as gifts for various events, one of which will even start singing "Wild Thing" when you squeeze its toes.

re: #109 Mars Needs Neocons

YEP

"MNC" -

If it is true and works. i'D GO THERE IN A HEARTBEAT!

"Imagine there's NO MOONBATS - EASY if You TRY!' As to Hahshem - If he/it/she Could DO IT ONCE - WHAT MAKES ALL 'Y'ALL THINK IT COULD NOT BE DONE - Again, and Again, and Again?

-S-

re: #136 song_and_dance_man

Actually- I haven't seen it but, but I vividly remember seeing the movie Backbeat and my girlfriend and I laughed our asses off at the actor playing Paul- what a brilliant bit of casting that was.

re: #138 rawmuse

thanks--i suggested that to mikeydad--the stubborn eye-talian said--that wont help--but i will do it-me being the stubborn ukrainian pollack!

So, anybody want to ask me about the Alison Krauss/Robert Plant concert from where I just returned? Hmm (please ask me!)?

re: #130 mikeymom

for the past few days, ive been getting 20-40 emails a day--maile delivery errors, daemon, etc--mont from russian and chech sites--hubby says ive been "spoofef" but doeant know what to do--as i said earlier--if i've been spoofed, i hope it was pleasurable--i would like to know--is this dangerous? ran norton-nothing showed--waz up?

you said spoofed again.. Heh heh.. hu.. heh..

I am a techie and it seems that you were Pwnd bai an l33t haX0r 111111!

re: #136 song_and_dance_man

Have you seen The Rutles? They spoof his cheesiness quite accurately.

Perhaps John was onto something when he sang "The sound you make is Muzak to my ears."

True story. Happened yesterday.

Background: I'm visiting a beautiful place -- Angel Fire, New Mexico -- where thousands of vets come annually on Memorial Day. Most of the Vietnam vets come on motorcycles joined by other motorcyclist groups. They congregate in Red River.

Now, the story: So, I'm camping, which means showers are rare and treasured. I paid to take a shower at one of the local RV parks. The shower was clean, cold and unlit. Since I hadn't shaved my legs in at least a month, I decided to shave. (Don't worry, I'm Scandanavian ... not much body fur.)

After my lovely shave and shower, I went to the lodge where some of the remaining vets were sitting and gabbing. One of the really tough-looking motorcyclist guys kept looking down at my legs while he was talking to me. I instinctively crossed my legs tightly and moved them to the side. Then, I saw him look again.

When I glanced down, I saw that my legs had at least twenty little cuts, each bleeding. Totally gross. I looked up at the motorcyclist and said, "Sorry, it was dark in the shower."

He said, "Lady, you look like you've been hit by mortar fragments."

re: #152 fat bastard vegetarian

So, anybody want to ask me about the Alison Krauss/Robert Plant concert from where I just returned? Hmm (please ask me!)?

I inquire not only about the concert, but also about their album. Good show? Good album?

re: #152 fat bastard vegetarian

Hey, how was that concert?

More importantly, how does a vegetarian remain fat?

re: #112 mikeymom Try dumping cookies, Temp Int files and clearing out cache.
Who is your internet e-mail provider?

re: #152 fat bastard vegetarian

So, what kind of plant? Did it play strings or percussion?

re: #121 beachkatie
Why thank you kindly! How are ya doing tonight beachkatie?

re: #155 hermeneutics

Biker Vets Rock!

re: #146 Mars Needs Neocons

what story of savages? our savage nation? what?

re: #155 hermeneutics
So the biker wasn't staring at your naughty bits.

re: #157 tankdemon

Daniel, and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did it..... :)

re: #163 ccrnyc

No, he was staring at my bloody bits.

re: #152 fat bastard vegetarian OK, how was that concert?
(realwest = straightman for funny guy)'

re: #153 ccrnyc

should i have enjoyed it? wtf do you mean?

Hockey sure would be a lot easier to watch if the puck were about a foot in diameter.

Let's go PENS! Double OT!

re: #152 fat bastard vegetarian

WELL?...

Worth the ticket price?

re: #155 hermeneutics

That's it, that's your story?

/where's the monkey?

Growing up, my next-door neighbor was a veterinarian. Someone abandoned three spider monkeys with him, so he built an outdoor cage to keep them in. They were named Larry, Moe, and Curly, and were irresistible objects of awe and wonder for the kids of the town.

They were also the nastiest, kid-hating hunks of almost-human flesh to ever live on G_d's green earth. They would spit at you, fling poo and gravel at you, and screech like unholy demented banshees in the wee hours of the night. Their favorite trick was to act coy and playful, like harmless little cartoon characters, until an unsuspecting child ventured too near... and then wham! Their creepy little human-paws would shoot out and grab your hair. Then they'd try to pull you close and gnaw on the side of your face.

Charming creatures.

The neighborhood moms made them "go away" after a few weeks... the good doctor was no match for their maternal fury.

re: #165 hermeneutics

Bloody chick legs not cool, hope you're better.

re: #170 UberInfidel67

Go Wings!

When I was a kid my parents owned a pet business. It just so happens that I used to train/tame squirrel monkeys. Once they got their canine teeth, forget it. Those suckers hurt when they bite. So yeah, don't spank the monkey.

re: #140 ted
They don't get any better as they move South. I went to the local office to try to get a straight answer on what high speed cable would cost as a stand alone option. Their website runs you around in circles. I found it the same way at their office. I finally just turned around to walk out. When they asked me if I wanted service I told them "No. Any company that refuses to give me a straight answer doesn't deserve my business". I'll never be a TWC customer. I'll hook up two cans and a string before I use TWC. I hate companies that treat people like fools.

re: #172 Killian Bundy

That's it, that's your story?

/where's the monkey?

I think hermeneutics tells great stories.
A monkey would have helped though.

re: #162 mikeymom
What happened to your e-mail problem?

re: #156 Bacchus's daddy

I'm really glad you asked. IT WAS FREAKIN' FABULOUS!

Check this out, they did a Bo Diddly piece that they decided to throw together today since he died. Was amazingly well done.

On stage for two and a half hours solid.

The album can be heard in its entirety here...
[Link: www.robertplantalisonkrauss.com...]
Click the top where it says, "Listen to Album"

If you have good computer speakers, OK, but if you don't, make sure you buy this cd. It is very good.

Watch for the concert, kinda pricey, but was totally worth the money.

re: #172 Killian Bundy

Sorry. It was the best I could do. I'll never tell a humiliating story again!

re: #173 stevieray

rhink of planet of the apes--what would you do if put in a cage (i've always wanted to fling feces--but w/ latex gloves on

re: #152 fat bastard vegetarian

So, anybody want to ask me about the Alison Krauss/Robert Plant concert from where I just returned? Hmm (please ask me!)?

I'm not asking squat about it because I am insanely jealous that I couldn't go.
Phooey.

re: #162 mikeymom

what story of savages? our savage nation? what?

yep, sorry carried over thoughts from other thread. Savage the other night (storm night) going to whip daughters scuzzbag BF ass and go to jail. Haven't had the chance to check up on him the last few nights to see how it ended.

I was always very fond of this Beatles song from the White Album:

re: #125 tankdemon

If I had a nickel for each time I had to tell my significant other that we were NOT getting a monkey, I could buy something.

Something expensive...

Like enough 93 octane to move a 67 El Dorado from New York to Frisco.

"TANK" -

I remember the '67 ELDO - Real Well. NJ State Senator/Former Mayor of Edison - John Paternitti, DDS - Father of the NEVER USED NJ DEATH PENALTY owned one. Candy Apple Red - with a - Black Vinyl Top - like right out of the 1967 Cadillac Ad. Great Car - Burned LOTS of GAS - though NOT quite as much as a 1968 and shortly onwards.

-S-

Watched Toomy Lee Jones and John Walsh play polo yesterday....good players for old a couple of AARPers.

re: #169 Cognito

Hockey would be better if it was played underwater with sharks with frekin' laser beams.

re: #185 Mars Needs Neocons

Has he been online today? Poor guy.

re: #157 tankdemon

More importantly, how does a vegetarian remain fat?

Copius amounts of beer helps.

re: #180 fat bastard vegetarian

Thanks for the review and link- I'll check it out.
BTW- this CommentSpy rocks! Thanks, Charles.

re: #179 realwest

still on going--got about 15 today--sigh--will "try" to talk at comcast tomorrow--

re: #115 Silhouette

OT - Chester A. Arthur did not have a VP during his entire 3+ years of presidency.

/just learned that, thought you all should learn it too.
//assuming you didn't already know it

There have been 18 periods in U.S. history when the office of Vice President has been vacant, totaling to 37 years, 9 months, and 16 days.

Opiliofact™

re: #189 ccrnyc

Hockey would be better if it was played underwater with sharks with frekin' laser beams.

I was also thinking that playing in the dark with a glowing puck would help.

(If it's not football, I probably won't watch the whole thing.)

re: #155 hermeneutics
Wow! LMAO, and re-tagged my image of Hermeneutics as "female"...

/for some strange reason...

re: #190 hermeneutics

Has he been online today? Poor guy.

That's just it, I haven't been on in a few days and don't know how it ended.

re: #185 Mars Needs Neocons

he has threatened to do that many times that i remember--we'll see

re: #167 song_and_dance_man

Backbeat's about their time in Hamburg. Here's a clip from Backbeat-looks like the whole movie is on youtube.

Monkey story. :)

re: #161 DesertSage

Biker Vets Rock!

"Sage'

1. Vets Rock!

2. Bikers Rock!

The only question is if Vets + Bikers = 2 - Or Something MORE! - Methinks -
MORE!

-S-

Is OT in hockey sudden death, or do they play until the time's up no matter the score?

re: #197 Mars Needs Neocons

That's just it, I haven't been on in a few days and don't know how it ended.

Posted earlier today. Unless they have added wireless and laptops in jail...

What do you call a monkey in a tree carrying a briefcase?

Branch Manager.

re: #202 gop_patriot

sudden death

re: #203 fat bastard vegetarian

Posted earlier today. Unless they have added wireless and laptops in jail...

Oh good. That's a relief. Here's to hoping his daughter is starting to get some sense.

re: #196 Carridine

Carradine, Isn't it strange how we assign gender to nics? I'm totally pleased that I fooled you!

re: #205 Kerr Avon

Thank you. :)

re: #203 fat bastard vegetarian

Posted earlier today. Unless they have added wireless and laptops in jail...

Please. It's jail.

They only have dial-up.

re: #173 stevieray
Upding Greenheart, Stevie!

/...gnaw on the side of your face... :(

re: #207 hermeneutics

Didn't fool me at all. I knew you were a dude who shaves his legs!

re: #127 WayDownSouthInBama

re: #140 ted

re: #177 WayDownSouthInBama

TimeWarner sucked when I lived in NYC and they suck down here, too. Unfortunately the only way I can keep my e-mail addy (which I've had for like,
13 years or so) is to go with Earthlink and their partner, now owner, Time-Warner. Didn't know TW took over Earthlink, so you're options for broadband service are getting really limited. And of the dozen or so friends I've had who used AOL, all are now on either TW or Comcast. They all said AOL sucked.

re: #181 hermeneutics

Sorry. It was the best I could do. I'll never tell a humiliating story again!

Gee, you cut yourself shaving.

/welcome to the club

re: #193 mikeymom Didja try my suggestion at #158?

re: #207 hermeneutics
And I'm totally sproing that you mispelled my nic, Hermeneutics! :D

re: #211 fat bastard vegetarian

Hey, cyclists shave their legs before races. Presumably it makes them less prone to infections when the fall and get road rash.

In reality, they like the ritual.

re: #204 ccrnyc That is so cute! :)

re: #186 really grumpy big dog johnson
Didja know that Eric Clapton plays the guitar on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"?

re: #213 song_and_dance_man

My favorite Harrison song.

re: #195 Cognito

Any sport that allows the prticipants to both fight and carry weapons is okay with me, but why are they prevented form doing both a the same time?

I remember being involved in a game during high school in which the local gendarmarie decided two minutes was not enough penalty time after one of the opposing players bent the wire facemask of of my teammate with a very pronounced kick of the skate.

That one could have been ugly as a Kos Kid's soul if the facemask didn't hold up.

re: #86 Sharmuta

There are so many good ones on that album, how can one pick a favorite?

Naudo makes me think maybe Julia could be my favorite.

Fearless

re: #216 Carridine

OOps! Sorry.

You spell your name with either a K or a C ... right?

re: #209 Cognito

"Cog" -

'Splain to me WHY they have dialup, Pray Tell, teaching basic computer skills does NOT Require it! thank you LUCY!

-S-

SOOOOOO. It sounds like the tape of Michelle Obama and Farakahn going off on a racist rant about "whitey" IS indeed real and the word is someone high up in the GOP has a copy. If this is indeed true Obama is done like dinner. discuss!

I watched that mixed martial arts cage match with Kimbo and the other dude. I thought it was great stuff. Sort of primal.

Clayton Williams is hosting a fund raiser for McCain at his home...can't decide if I want to fork over the cash. I wouldn't mind seeing him sweat when a buch of independent oilmen start grilling him about cap-and-trade, global warming, etc.

re: #221 solomonpanting

My favorite Harrison song.

George was probably my favorite Beatle. Ringo is a close second. George was by far the most talented.

re: #223 Fearless Fred

Julia makes me cry.

re: #226 chukardog

You have no respect for the delicate sensibilities of the suffering offspring do you.

re: #226 chukardog

SOOOOOO. It sounds like the tape of Michelle Obama and Farakahn going off on a racist rant about "whitey" IS indeed real and the word is someone high up in the GOP has a copy. If this is indeed true Obama is done like dinner. discuss!

I'll believe it when I see it.

Favorite version of "While my guitar gently weeps"

People wrestle bears.

/yet you'll notice no one wrestles monkeys

re: #225 Dr. Shalit

"Cog" -

'Splain to me WHY they have dialup, Pray Tell, teaching basic computer skills does NOT Require it! thank you LUCY!

-S-

It's punishment. The really ill-behaved jailbirds are forced to download a clip from the show Cops on YouTube each day, via dial-up.

re: #215 realwest

mikedad says he did that--i'm on comcast

re: #232 MandyManners

DOn't you think it is real, Mandy?

re: #224 hermeneutics
C from here (downtown, upscale, whole-19th-floor Bangkok) and K from home...

/where I'm going now.
Ta-ta, Ducks (Cockney goodbye)

re: #226 chukardog

Who says any of that is true? You, the one with less than a hundred comments in 4 years?

re: #189 ccrnyc I wnet to a fight one night and a hockey game broke out right in the middle of it!

re: #237 hermeneutics

DOn't you think it is real, Mandy?

I'll believe it when I see it.

re: #238 Carridine

ta ta Carridine (morphing to Karridine)

re: #228 Hydrocarbon Hank

Clayton Williams is hosting a fund raiser for McCain at his home...can't decide if I want to fork over the cash. I wouldn't mind seeing him sweat when a buch of independent oilmen start grilling him about cap-and-trade, global warming, etc.

It needs to be done.

McCain needs to knock carbon credit crap into a ditch instead of embracing it.

re: #226 chukardog

SOOOOOO. It sounds like the tape of Michelle Obama and Farakahn going off on a racist rant about "whitey" IS indeed real and the word is someone high up in the GOP has a copy. If this is indeed true Obama is done like dinner. discuss!

Yeah. Political parties are known to politely bury bad news about their opponents all the time.

re: #232 MandyManners

That Michelle Obama, she's a winner.
[sarcasm] [/sarcasm]

re: #241 MandyManners

Well, I'm hoping.

re: #226 chukardog Link please?

re: #28 Panhandler

With the soon to be expected, could cause blindness if continued unabated

re: #226 chukardog

SOOOOOO. It sounds like the tape of Michelle Obama and Farakahn going off on a racist rant about "whitey" IS indeed real and the word is someone high up in the GOP has a copy. If this is indeed true Obama is done like dinner. discuss!

Has this evolved beyond rumor? The question then becomes is it better if it came out now to prolong the Dhimmicrat battle? Or is it best in October? If the Clinton camp has it- take note, the train is about to leave the station....

re: #234 Killian Bundy

People wrestle bears.

/yet you'll notice no one wrestles monkeys

Bears slap and try to crush you, monkeys go straight for the groin.

re: #217 hermeneutics

A cyclist once told me that he did it because, "Have you ever tried to pick dried road tar out of a matt of hair?"

Kind of like an Epilady?

re: #245 Cognito

Maybe they've buried it only to exhume it at the time of maximum effectiveness.

re: #217 hermeneutics

Your legs cool faster also, because there are no hairs to slow the layer of air next to the skin; the wind chill & evaporative effects of the moving air are thus greater.

Michelle tape is a rumor, Osama bin Laden is dead, and Oswald acted alone.

Spoofing means that someone is using your email address as the from address in the email. Think of it like someone using your SSN to get a job.

The spoofer probably has no code running on your machine, but has merely harvested your email from somewhere on the web. Using your address looks more legitimate than some random string. He will move on when enough servers that he is interested in blacklist your email address..

re: #212 realwest
It's sad. High Speed Internet is about like the Democrats & Republicans. All of the players are racing to see which one can be the suckiest and hack off the most people while pretending that the customer comes first. The price goes up,the quality goes down and the customer is left with increasingly poorer Internet service.

re: #229 DesertSage
Hey Sage! I liked George a great deal, but to say he was the most talented is, well, not true! LOL!
Actually, John Lennon was the real rocker in that band (until he met Yoko) and Paul is, believe it or not, a damn good bass player.

Ya know about George and "My Sweet Lord" and all that, right? I mean that he plagerized the music?

re: #37 Opilio

Well, this was met with resounding silence when I posted it last night, so I'm back for more ignorance (as in the state or condition of being ignored).

         Footprint photographed in Martian soil!

/go ahead, click it. You know you want to.

It's Mohammed's footprint. Mars is now the 39,000th holiest site in Islam, and the Muslims claim all of the planet.

re: #230 Sharmuta

Me too ... sometimes.

Have you seen the movie 'Across the Universe' yet?

re: #255 Silhouette

Michelle tape is a rumor, Osama bin Laden is dead, and Oswald acted alone.

So you're the one who knows where Jimmy Hoffa is. Geraldo would pay big money for that.

Oh yeah, and they did a great version of my favorite Zeppelin song...
"Black Country Woman".

Ok, I won't talk about it anymore.

Until the next time I want to.

G'night Daddy, G'night Mama.

Hysterical trunk monkey videos

robert bird hospitalized breaking on fox

re: #261 Fearless Fred

No, I haven't seen it.

re: #265 JimmyTheClaw

robert bird hospitalized breaking on fox

It'll be covered by the KKK health plan.

Seriously, I hope it's nothing major.

re: #265 JimmyTheClaw

robert bird hospitalized breaking on fox

Story's on Yahoo too. Poor old guy.

re: #252 fat bastard vegetarian

omg--epiladys were the worst most sadist device ever invented for hair removall-

re: #229 DesertSage

George was probably my favorite Beatle. Ringo is a close second. George was by far the most talented.

I have to go with John being the most talented, followed by George, by George.

re: #243 song_and_dance_man

Your welcome.

Clapton rules..........well, he used to.

re: #265 JimmyTheClaw

Wow ... First Kennedy, now Byrd? Two liberal powerhouses have taken ill in a week.

re: #229 DesertSage

George was probably my favorite Beatle.

Mine too.

Watched "Cloverfield" tonight on DVD. So scary, Thag ran off and hid.

In Canada, medical care is free....because they have a nationalized healthcare system.

It stands to reason that if they nationalized the oil industry, they would have free gasoline.

Where am I going wrong here?