Iowahawk: The ‘Q’ is for ‘Quality’

• Views: 1,613

The dreaded Iowahawk has uncovered Al Qaeda’s new plan for world domination—which includes a branding makeover and new corporate logo: The ‘Q’ is for ‘Quality’.

A Message from the Director

Ayman al Zawahiri
Director of Change Management
Al Qaeda Industries Worldwide, Inc.

Hello, valued Al Qaeda associate! Welcome to the inaugural issue of Vistas, the new electronic newsletter designed to keep you informed on all the fast-paced comings and goings within our Total Quality Jihad family.

In a dynamic marketplace characterized by rapid change and unexpected missiles, even the most disciplined adaptive organizations can find it challenging to keep the lines of communication open. Without understanding the strategic “big picture,” associates will sometimes be confused by misleading rumors they read on unreliable infidel blogs and websites like “F*cked Insurgency” and “Jihad Deadpool.” With Vistas, you will learn the real story — of how we are attacking the competitive casualty gap with a paradigm-changing tactical adaptive strategy focused on paradise value optimization. Yes, there will be some changes, but our core leadership mission remains the same one established by Chairman Emeritus Osama Bin Laden when he founded Al Qaeda in his family goat shed nearly 15 years ago: to create a robust, cave-centric, best-of-breed strategic organization for global caliphate management solution services. If we all pull together as accountable subteams, we are on-track to rebuild momentum after the Q4 Infidel elections!

INTRODUCING QAEDANT

As a commitment to our spirit of goal-oriented adaptive martyrdom innovation, I am proud to announce the launch of Qaedant, our new corporate branding identity.

Developed in conjunction with our strategic branding agency FDB&D-Medina, this handsome new organizational logo will help us maintain consumer mindshare and let the world know that we continue on the cutting edge of advanced Jihad technology. Show your team pride buy buying official Qaedant logo merchandise from the attached electronic catalog — including mugs, keffiyas and semtex belts!

Read the whole thing…

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2016-01-01 10:29 am PST
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds Tweet

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Donate with
PayPal
Square Cash Shop at amazon
as an LGF Associate!
Recent PagesClick to refresh
Marvel Studios’ Captain Marvel - Official Trailer Higher. Further. Faster. Watch the trailer for Marvel Studios’ Captain Marvel, in theaters March 8, 2019. ► Subscribe to Marvel: bit.ly More info on Marvel Studios' Captain Marvel: marvel.com Follow Marvel on Twitter: ‪@marvelLike Marvel on FaceBook: ‪facebook.com For ...
Thanos
1 day ago
Views: 122 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Whoever Crafted the Kavanaugh Hearing Trap Is an Evil Genius & I Love Them I know: isn't the confirmation of Kavanaugh on rails, and it spells doom for all progressive initiative for the next 30 years? Maybe. But consider what cramming this cloaked right-wing dickwad through would cost the GOP: Already, white suburban ...
Khal Wimpo (the extinguisher of tiki torches)
1 day, 6 hours ago
Views: 163 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 3
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Jungle Performing ‘Heavy, California’ Live on KCRW Jungle’s highly anticipated sophomore album was heavily influenced by their time living here in Los Angeles. We share a live session with the UK band on the release date for For Ever. Watch the full session here:kcrw.com kcrw.comMusic | ...
Thanos
4 days, 6 hours ago
Views: 336 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
larry carlton steve lukather room 335LARRY CARLTON STEVE LUKATHER ROOM 335!!!!
Thanos
1 week, 3 days ago
Views: 1,140 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Steely Dan: More Than Just a BandPOLYPHONIC MERCHANDISE: store.dftba.com Music by Pracs: SoundCloud Support me on Patreon: patreon.com Twitter: @watchpolyphonicFacebook: facebook.com
Thanos
1 week, 3 days ago
Views: 1,178 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 2
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
The Faim - Midland Line [Official Video] Another band from the John Feldman / BMG power-punk-pop stable, known for their infectious beats straight from the '80's and party vocals. the Faim hails from Perth. Summer Is A Curse EP out now: thefaim.lnk.to 'Midland Line' Out Now: ...
Thanos
1 week, 3 days ago
Views: 297 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats Performing ‘You Worry Me’ Live on KCRW Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats released their excellent sophomore album Tearing at the Seams earlier this year and have been on the road ever since. Inspired by personal drama, but full of hope, the new songs come alive ...
Thanos
1 week, 3 days ago
Views: 1,405 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Childish Gambino - Feels Like Summer There's a lot more to the lyrics and the video than you first see, while the music amd vocal style reminds me of some "hopeful while showing the hopeless" '70's tunes. “Feels Like Summer” by Childish Gambino smarturl.ittour tickets ...
Thanos
2 weeks ago
Views: 1,602 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 2
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
The 36% Deplorables Still Back the Babooncnn.com No suprise to me. Despite the raving lunatic Tweets, the nonsense policy decisions, the stoking of racial tensions, the Mafia Thug style approach to law, and the blatant grabs for more power, Trump has not dipped in his support ...
Rocky-in-Connecticut
2 weeks ago
Views: 1,044 • Comments: 1 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Bank of America Reportedly Froze Some Accounts After Asking Customers About Their Citizenship It is a fact the American law does not require citizenship to open a bank account. Nor should it. Xenophobia is a terrible business model and attitude. Businessmen come here and do business, that's called economic activity. In order ...
Unshaken Defiance
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Views: 2,193 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 3
Tweets: 3 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0