tour de farce

What a dope.

Being entered in a bicycle race wasn't evidence enough?

Charles just keeps on debunkin'

So the anti-doping chief is a frog. Comedy ensues...

re: #1 yochanan

tour de farce

tour de fauxrance

He should go back to the Mets.

must have been an AMERIKAN RIDER everything is being done so an AMERIKAN doesn't win it again

alez tour de farce

Wee, at least he wasn't huffing Liquigas.

Why dont they just hold one where doping is allowed? It would be easier and if they all juice, then its an even playing field again.

/really could care less

re: #9 Gordon Marock

Wee, Well, at least he wasn't huffing Liquigas.

From the other side ... my teen is an aspiring USA team cyclist who lives in FEAR that someone, somewhere will accuse him of doping. He's afraid to take aspirin, for instance, or eat certain foods that may give him a false positive.

Anyway, among at least some of the up-n'-coming cyclists, the ban on doping is taking very seriously.

My wife and I ere taking bets on who it would be. We both lost. We will have to throw two new names in the ring tonight.

re: #10 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Why dont they just hold one where doping is allowed?

It's called the Olympics.

used to fellow the tour de farce but since they kept bitching when AMERICANS WON IT i got tired of it don't fellow it any more. don't care at all almost as much as the concept of I.D.

Completely forgot the Tour was going on. Seems to have dropped off the earth since Lance left and the doping fiascos of the last couple years.

Wow, a French anti-doping chief finds evidence of doping in a foreign (i.e. not French) bicyclist.

I think it's time for an independent (i.e. not French) anti-doping chief and lab.

re: #12 hermeneutics

From the other side ... my teen is an aspiring USA team cyclist who lives in FEAR that someone, somewhere will accuse him of doping. He's afraid to take aspirin, for instance, or eat certain foods that may give him a false positive.

Anyway, among at least some of the up-n'-coming cyclists, the ban on doping is taking very seriously.

Tell your son to stay away from the Rocky Mountain Oysters.

re: #18 Gordon Marock

Tell your son to stay away from the Rocky Mountain Oysters.

That's a bit ballsy.

Know what would make this sport watchable? Allowing the riders to use chains and cattleprods versus the other teams.

re: #18 Gordon Marock

Tell your son to stay away from the Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Laughing here. And we're IN the Rockies now! No, "oysters," though. Nada.

re: #19 Honorary Yooper

That's a bit ballsy.

I know, but it seems the whole cycling sport has gone nuts.

bicycling been beddy beddy goo' tu me

Hmmm, always a non-Frenchy.

re: #22 Gordon Marock,

So Jesse Jackson is now a cyclist? Damn, I can't keep up!

Since the chemists will always be ahead of the testers, I think we might as well assume that all sporting events are and will continue to be tainted with chemical cheating. There. I said it. Sad.

re: #23 Shug

bicycling been beddy beddy goo' tu me

Garrett?

re: #12 hermeneutics

Good for your son at taking it so seriously. It's a shame there are so many athletes in so many different sports who seem to want to ruin it for everyone else.

This is all just jockeying for position due to the little-known rule 185 subsection 'C' which stipulates that any winner of 8 or more consecutive Tours can demand that future Tours begin and end in that rider's own backyard.

re: #27 debutaunt

Garrett?

Sammy Sooser

/teddy kennedy

re: #24 Silhouette

Hmmm, always a non-Frenchy.

Well, they always seem to test the teams in the lead, so no danger to the French there

re: #20 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Know what would make this sport watchable? Allowing the riders to use chains and cattleprods versus the other teams.

SOmething along the lines of rollerball?

re: #20 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Know what would make this sport watchable? Allowing the riders to use chains and cattleprods versus the other teams.

Tour De MadMax.

I AM THE HUMONGOUS, YOU WILL DELIVER YOUR GATORADE TO ME, AND YOU CAN JUST WALK AWAY, WALK AWAY!

Let's take a page from the Ultimate Fighting Championships with their no holds barred format and have an all doping cycling tournament where the average calf muscle is the size of a beachball.

re: #18 Gordon Marock

Tell your son to stay away from the Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Ah, nuts!

re: #34 Gordon Marock

Let's take a page from the Ultimate Fighting Championships with their no holds barred format and have an all doping cycling tournament where the average calf muscle is the size of a beachball.

and let them all take amphetamines and ride all night.

get the damned race over in under a week

re: #22 Gordon Marock

I know, but it seems the whole cycling sport has gone nuts.

Well, it's something the Frenchmen will never have to worry about. Must be much easier to sit on the bicycle seat that way.

So, you like the juice?.

re: #35 Cygnus

Ah, nut!

/lance armstrong

re: #25 Iron Fist

,

So Jesse Jackson is now a cyclist? Damn, I can't keep up!

NOT TO WORRY JESSE OBAMA DOESN'T HAVE ANY NUTS. TOTALLY NUT LESS EXCEPT FOR HIS SUPPORTERS AND HIS BLOG ROLL.

There's a TdF this year? /

re: #32 Creeping Eruption

SOmething along the lines of rollerball?

Or something like the chariot race in Ben Hur.

re: #41 lawhawk

There's a TdF this year? /

Sponsored by Hazelden

re: #37 Honorary Yooper

Well, it's something the Frenchmen will never have to worry about. Must be much easier to sit on the bicycle seat that way.

C'est la vie!

re: #41 lawhawk

who won the proleague?

The people who make these teams are almost super-human anyway. Seriously, I've never seen such oddly shaped men: genetically freakish long backs; long calves and thick quads, thin to the point of emaciation.

re: #40 yochanan

NOT TO WORRY JESSE OBAMA DOESN'T HAVE ANY NUTS. TOTALLY NUT LESS EXCEPT FOR HIS SUPPORTERS AND HIS BLOG ROLL.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine [with our system] until our power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: [To Peter] Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes, it's true. [slight pause] This man has no dick.
[Peck then tries to attack Dr. Venkman but is kept away by others in the room]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's what I heard!

Team manager Roberto Amadio said he was "shocked" by the news.

I'm amazed that anyone thinks they can get away with it at this point.

The French need to ask themselves, how can we make this more like NASCAR?

re: #48 wrenchwench

I'm amazed that anyone thinks they can get away with it at this point.

...but he' not American so it should be ok. Nuance, you primitive cowboys, nuance.

re: #49 Silhouette

The French need to ask themselves, how can we make this more like NASCAR?

Easy, move the tour to Talladega and ban all Frenchmen.

re: #52 Gordon Marock

Easy, move the tour to Talladega and ban all Frenchmen.

But who will be there to appreciate the S-Car-Go?

Too bad.
I was enjoying the mountainous race this AM.
But if he did it he should admit it.
And if he thinks its a false positive he should say what he ate that could have done it.
I'd hate to see his whole team go out for this.
They did well.

Speaking of male parts, the words to the famous Bridge on The River Kwai whistle (at least one variation)

Hitler has only got one ball,
Göring has two but very small,
Himmler has something sim'lar,
But Goebbels has no balls at all.

Ten abnormal blood results before Tour start

French newspaper Le Monde revealed on Friday that there were ten abnormal blood values found in samples taken by French Anti-Doping Agency AFLD before the Tour de France. The tests were conducted on July 3 and 4, while the Tour got underway on July 5.

According to the newspaper, the results of the tests showed unusual hematocrit and/or haemoglobin values. A high hematocrit result can be an indication of blood doping, through EPO or blood transfusion, but there are also other natural explanations possible.

The names of the riders involved were not published. The results were also sent to the UCI for inclusion in the blood passport programme.

One of them was Beltran. They haven't said who the other nine were yet.

re: #54 mean Gene

Too bad.

They did well.

Yes . . . I'm sure they did.

Drudge reporting that the Iranian missile video is also a fraud. One missile from different angles.

re: #49 Silhouette,

More wrecks?

The missiles tested DID NOT not have 2,000-kilometer range; it was an older missile that was out of production, newsroom sources tell DRUDGE.

A video showed what appeared to be many missiles being fired is actually one missile, filmed from different angles.

NYT's Bill Broad is planning to quote Pentagon officials and military insiders.

I blame Amgen George Bush.

re: #56 wrenchwench

One of them was Beltran. They haven't said who the other nine were yet.

Probably some poor idiots who have only made it in the back of the peloton and have null chance of winning it, doping or not.

re: #61 karmic_inquisitor

I blame Amgen George Bush.

Evil, profiteering pharmaceutical companies.

Now if they would take a look at the doctored Obama birth certificate

Ultimately, this just sucks. No one to look up to and admire when I get on my bike. I used to so love the TDF, although less so when I went to see it in person and saw all the Euros smoking along the route...

re: #36 Shug,

Go Team Crystal Meth!

Iran's Great Prophet III" war games

haha

Photoshop Expert Wanted in Iran

re: #66 parisparamus

Ultimately, this just sucks. No one to look up to and admire when I get on my bike. I used to so love the TDF, although less so when I went to see it in person and saw all the Euros smoking along the route...

Whaddaya mean, euros!
Those were Fwenchies - they have a Gauloise fixed to their underlip at birth!

re: #55 Silhouette

Speaking of male parts, the words to the famous Bridge on The River Kwai whistle (at least one variation)

Hitler has only got one ball,
Göring has two but very small,
Himmler has something sim'lar,
But Goebbels has no balls at all.

True story. The Japanese made the Allied prisoners who worked on the Thailand to Burma railway sing songs "to keep up moral". One of the songs was "She'll be coming round the mountain". But the POW's sang it as, "They'll be droppin' thousand pounders when they come".

Iran DID NOT launch a Shahab-3 missile, able to reach Israel.

Iran could strap a nuke to the back of a camel and slap that sucker in the ass.

re: #64 Silhouette

Evil, profiteering pharmaceutical companies.

heh.

The Tour de France is the most prestigious cycling race of the year, and I'm glad the French are taking the doping issue as seriously as they are- other sports could take a cue, actually. There is no honor in cheating, and there is no honor in letting a cheater get away with it. In this sense, it's nice to see the French do have a spine, and will take a stand for the honorable thing. It's not only important for the integrity of the Tour, but for the integrity of all sports to continue to take a tough stance on this problem.

Look, I don't believe the pics or the videos mean anything whatsoever. Who knows where they came from or when they were shot.

The real pics are probably not being shown on Al Gore's Internets.

re: #56 wrenchwench

Ten abnormal blood results before Tour start

One of them was Beltran. They haven't said who the other nine were yet.

And yet, the team with the three best riders in the world (Contador, Leipheimer, and Klöden) was preemptively banned because they have the same sponsor as one that was kicked out of the race last year.

Idiot French.

Old Chinese Proverb: Millions of dollars + fame = HGH+steroids

re: #76 Sharmuta

Nice way to spoil a lot of silly, smart ass comments with your high-brow integrity stuff. Oh well.

re: #78 Spiny Norman

And yet, the team with the three best riders in the world (Contador, Leipheimer, and Klöden) was preemptively banned because they have the same sponsor as one that was kicked out of the race last year.

Idiot French.

I just felt like adding some bold there.

Frank says: "There is no hell. There is only France."

Drudge's logic is pitiful.

He says they "did not launch", etc. He has no idea what they launched. He only knows the pics and videos released are bogus.

OT: Back to the Iranian missiles. Good Eyes Charles

Charles, regarding your thread yesterday about a "Disturbance in the Intarwebs":

Today Apple had a complete meltdown of all their servers worldwide as 7.8 gajillion people from Tokyo to Kalamazoo all tried to buy and activate their iPhone 3Gs at the same time. The biggest traffic surge in Apple's history, and even their inconceivably massive server bank was unable to handle it. Some of the articles on the topic say the surge actually started yesterday as people began to download the various widgets for the iPhone ahead of time. I was wondering: could this have been the cause of the "disturbance" you detected?

re: #79 buzzsawmonkey

Why is everyone so upset about athletes doping?

Just let the drug companies be open about it, and place their advertising on the clothing of the athletes they have bought, so we know whose drugs are competing against whose, and in what cocktail mixture.

The first step has been accomplished: Amgen sponsors the Tour of California. They make the drug that Beltran tested positive for.

re: #56 wrenchwench

They haven't said who the other nine were yet.

I've identified the other nine riders.

re: #79 buzzsawmonkey

Why is everyone so upset about athletes doping?

Just let the drug companies be open about it, and place their advertising on the clothing of the athletes they have bought, so we know whose drugs are competing against whose, and in what cocktail mixture.

Heard a thing on National Palestinian Radio this morning by a gene therapy scientist who always has to field calls from athletes who offer themselves as guinea pigs so they can get their hands on some of the stuff he is working on. Apparently the only way to detect the stuff he is working on would be to take a muscle tissue sample.

Halloween is coming...here's a costume idea.

re: #85 cardiacmont

And a video showing what appeared to be many missiles being fired -- is actually one missile, filmed from different angles!

They faked a video too? Ha!

re: #86 zombie

This confirms my decision to not even touch anything about the iPhone software upgrade (or anything else) until next week.

It's hard to imagine your enemy faking pictures and videos.

I guess I can get all excited and post a link and then read the thread and see that it is already old news here at LGF.

I guess I know what MSM reporters feel like now.

re: #88 Occasional Reader

I've identified the other nine riders.

Awesome...

Charles, if you wnated a non-AP story on the iTunes/Apple meltdown, here's one:

ABC: Ipocalypse?

re: #81 Gordon Marock

Sorry- I think integrity in sports matters, but I also see the flip side of the coin. If various sports leagues want to come out and introduce mandatory doping, I think that would be more honest than BS, half-assed testing and "suspensions"/slaps-on-the-wrists. At least that way we'd know what we were paying to see.

re: #93 faraway,

It is hard to imagine them thinking they could get away with it. Of course, Iran (and Mohammedans in general) are used to getting away with a lot in the Media.

If enough cyclists are doping for the Tour de France, can it really be considered giving them an advantage [same argument was made about baseball during the 'roid era- which some say we haven't completely left behind]

If all the cyclists rode off a bridge, would you do it too young man?

/Mom

re: #91 Killgore Trout

They faked a video too? Ha!

...they've got big balls, but we've got the biggest balls of them all.

re: #98 Iron Fist

DinnerJacket: Hey, Achmed. Piece together some pics of old missiles and post them on one of our news sites.
Achmed: Yes, of course, Dear Leader. What about a nice video of some ancient rocket?
DinnerJacket: Excellent idea, Achmed. That should make those infidels wet their pants in fear.

We've been following Slipstream/Garmin-Chipotle. We had hopes their philosophy would catch on with the rest of the sport. Too bad, this is another black eye for the sport.

Why wouldn't they dope if when they win they'll be accused of it anyway right?re: #96 zombie

Charles, if you wnated a non-AP story on the iTunes/Apple meltdown, here's one:

ABC: Ipocalypse?

Ouch, that's got to smart... of course you could get an Instinct instead, 5X the network...

Drudge refuses to credit the bloggers, too, I noticed.

Bring back Joop Zoetemelk!

I don't see what all the fuss is about. Just let him race in the Full Fuel class. Hell, if all he's got is erythropoietin, he'd get blown away by the guys doing the serious stuff.

re: #99 Fenway_Nation

If all the cyclists rode off a bridge, would you do it too young man?

/Mom

Damn right, Ma, if it would get me that yellow jersey.

They should just make using steroids and other performance enhancing drugs mandatory. We'll have a mutant league. WWF can do the play-by-play and color commentary.

At least this way we'll be able to watch more than the last 10 min of each stage!

*Yawn*

Wake me up when they figure out how to put a 6-liter v-8 on one of those silly bikes.

Oh, crap! (pardon my french)

I actually have been enjoying the race this year, surprising myself. It's just beyond me how anyone could think at this point that they're going to get away with doping. But maybe I'm just naive.

Saw coverage over at bicycle.net, too.

It's been a great race so far this year. It's a shame that any of the riders thinks that they can get away with the blood doping or any of that crap. I hope they don't kick the whole team out of the race. I mean, I love just saying 'liqugas'

78 Spiny Norman:

It may be tough for Astana riders but this is the team that couldn't field enough riders in 2006 due to so many of their riders being caught in Operation Puerto and last year had two riders caught doping during the Tour. I'm surprised that a rider like Leipheimer wanted anything to do with that team. As for Kloden, who knows since his former T Mobile was up their eyeballs in dope.

As for the Tour, good on the organizers who are taking doping more seriously than many other sports (see Bonds, Clemens, Marion Jones, Chinese swimmers, etc.) and are know requiring extensive testing and biological profiles. If the B sample is positive, Tour organizers will ask the entire Liquigas team to withdraw from the Tour. If this happens, I hope the other team riders will take Beltran out behind the team bus and beat the crap out of him.

I heard/read that as many as 20 riders came in with elevated blood levels right at the max allowed. Not enough to prove they were doping but enough to warrant a look see. I wonder how many are from Liquigas, if more than one the team should be gone too. Aren't the laws in France quite stringent, such as the rider can be arrested for doping?

Hmmmm. Wonder if this photo tipped of the Tour officials he might be doping...

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://dpaw sey.tripod.com/scarymofo.jpg&imgrefurl=http:// dpawsey.tripod.com/galleries.html&h=800&w= 661&sz=107&hl=en&start=4&tbnid=fDS khlByAR2I3M:&altq=paul+dillet,jay+cutler,dave+ draper,lou+ferrigno,&tbnh=143&tbnw=118& ;prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbodybuilder%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3De n

re: #109 Cicero05

I SAW GAS AND ELECTRIC MOTORS TO PUT ON BIKES REINVENTING THE MOPED.

re: #108 Dainn

They should just make using steroids and other performance enhancing drugs mandatory. We'll have a mutant league. WWF can do the play-by-play and color commentary.

At least this way we'll be able to watch more than the last 10 min of each stage!

Does this mutant league discriminate against cyborgs?

re: #113 John B

78 Spiny Norman:

It may be tough for Astana riders but this is the team that couldn't field enough riders in 2006 due to so many of their riders being caught in Operation Puerto and last year had two riders caught doping during the Tour. I'm surprised that a rider like Leipheimer wanted anything to do with that team. As for Kloden, who knows since his former T Mobile was up their eyeballs in dope.

As for the Tour, good on the organizers who are taking doping more seriously than many other sports (see Bonds, Clemens, Marion Jones, Chinese swimmers, etc.) and are know requiring extensive testing and biological profiles. If the B sample is positive, Tour organizers will ask the entire Liquigas team to withdraw from the Tour. If this happens, I hope the other team riders will take Beltran out behind the team bus and beat the crap out of him.

Not one rider, or support staff, or anyone else is on the team from last year. It's an entirely new team. The only thing that remains from last year's disgraced squad is the sponsor.

I suspect more than anything else, it's the presence of Johann Bruyneel as directeur sportif that pissed off the TdF organizers.

I have audited pharmacies and EPO is expensive.

[From a post]

...noticed that the charge for the Epogen was about $25,000. I recieve a box of ten multidose vials, each 2 ml. containing 20,000 units. I take 12,000 U/wk.

Last month I brought that statement into the unit, to tell them that the charge was fraud, and I was going to report them to Medicare. As it turns out, Medicare did not pay that amt., but much less.
Before I started dialysis, I was taking Epo, and for a box of single dose vials, for instance, the charge by the pharmacy was anywhere from $400-$600 according to the dose.

I checked with the pharmacy before I tossed the Medicare statement in my nurse's face, and the price for a box of ten multidose vials of 20,000 U each is $339.95.

See post by nursesue

The team behind Leakygas should ride easier now.

The last time Lance Armstrong was to France they found three suspicious and unknown substances in his luggage. They were later confirmed to be Toothpaste, Deodorant, and Soap.

118: Spiny Norman:

I suspect more than anything else, it's the presence of Johann Bruyneel as directeur sportif that pissed off the TdF organizers.

I should have added that. I agree completely.

re: #118 Spiny Norman

Not one rider, or support staff, or anyone else is on the team from last year. It's an entirely new team. The only thing that remains from last year's disgraced squad is the sponsor.

I suspect more than anything else, it's the presence of Johann Bruyneel as directeur sportif that pissed off the TdF organizers.

Amen, Norman!