Noted political expert and gaseous far left windbag Michael Moore advises the Democratic Party how to lose the Presidential election.

With a heaping helping of contempt for American voters, to pander to the Guardian’s audience.

Keep saying nice things about McCain. Like how he’s been “good on global warming” and campaign finance. Keep reminding a country at war that he and he alone is a war hero. Not to mention an all-round good guy. Say that enough and what happens? The same thing that happens when you repeat over and over, “Apply directly to the forehead” - people start to believe it! You’ve sold them on the idea that McCain isn’t a bad egg, and they do not hear the rest of what you have to say: “But John McCain is four more years of George W Bush.” If you keep saying he used to be a “maverick”, our less-attention-span citizens hear only the “maverick” part, not the past tense verb included in that sentence.

This is not to say you should in any way demean John McCain as a human being or as an American. Disagreeing strongly with his policies or the direction he would lead the country is not the same as denigrating him as a person. This particular style of politics is the cesspool that the Right and the Republican Party apparatus swim in. We do not further our agenda by imitating them. Fight, fight back, and fight hard - but fight clean. It’s ultimately what I believe the majority of Americans would like to see.

There is also nothing wrong with saying nice things about McCain’s constituency, and you should. We want to hold out our hand to people who have voted for Republicans in the past. Many of them are tired, a good number are disgusted. They won’t agree with a lot of what we stand for, but they’ve had it up to here with the Republicans and we should make sure our tent is big enough to welcome them in.

So if you want to help elect McCain, keep blessing him as if he were the white knight who accidentally hopped on the wrong horse. Forget to continually point out that he is truly up to no good. Keep pulling your punches. Don’t remind people McCain wants to help the oil companies even more than Bush did. Don’t bring up that he wants to outlaw all abortion. Back away from painting McCain as the guy who thinks it’s a good idea to stay in Iraq until pigs fly. That way, if you keep praising him, you can send a mixed message to the less-informed who are simply not going to figure it out. When they walk into a voting booth, they will see two names on the ballot:

· Barack Obama
· War Hero

Trust me, this ain’t Sweden. War Hero wins every time.