Kill it with FIRE!

j/k

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!

.22 with rat shot.

Monkeys are funny!

I would totally freak out. I have a weird monkey phobia. Ick

Is that what was left after those two goofballs defrosted "Bigfoot"?

Monkeys, monkeys everywhere an not a drop to drink. Gotta go back to Georgia.

Somehow I think the monkey is more technologically sophisticated than the Iranian nitwits who came up with this (ht to jcm for the initial find).

"Oh My Grace
I've got no hiding place"

just me and my monkey.

The Japanese should probably have offered the monkey a nice hot bath, a nice soothing massage. All that time in the subway system is sure to leave one in need of rest and relaxation.

Monkey see, monkey do. Sip a cup of Puer tea, give him a drink to calm him down, then slap the cuffs on him when he isn't looking.

"That's not the cheese-eating surrender monkey that I knew..."

CHANGE!
CHANGO!

Obligatory

Go monkey! Go monkey! It's your birthday. Go monkey! Stick it to the man. Keep the faith. Stay free. Peace out!

He was only trying to find his rogue banana. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt, shall we?

Or, if you wanna make it about Evolution

Damn, if I had a nickel for every time MY morning commute has been upset by a rogue monkey....

The UN has got to DO something! Won't somebody please think of the children?!

How Japan has fallen. It used to take Godzilla to terrorize Japanese. Now a monkey can do it.

This one's gonna be fun!

At least it isn't a rouge monkey, which would be one that is applied to the cheeks to simulate a blush.

So there's a little monkey in the huge airport and everyone is hysterical. Pathetic. That's how green/back to earth most people are. Nature is fine when you watch it on NatGeo but if it's in the same room, Valium is required.

re: #20 Silhouette

Won't somebody please think of the monkey children?!

Just amended a bit....

Boy, Man-Bear-Pig ain't looking good these days.

Ha, you just know that monkey had all those nets figured out. Ran right out of the gauntlet too.

re: #24 jemima

So there's a little monkey in the huge airport and everyone is hysterical. Pathetic. That's how green/back to earth most people are. Nature is fine when you watch it on NatGeo but if it's in the same room, Valium is required.

They fling poo. I find that disturbing at the airport, slightly less so at the Democrat National Convention.

"Doo yewwww have ay leeezzzance fo yo meeenkeh?" ----Inspector Clousseau

I wonder if the monkey would think this is fun:
UK couple wings it with wedding vows

Protester at the DNCC?

Do you think they will spank the monkey when they get their hands on it?

Paging Commander Putin! Paging Commander Putin! your Medvedev got loose.

When a monkey is bad like that, you should just spank it.

Oh, yeah. What chaos! He sat in one spot, the moved from point A to point B. And everyone screams. Yeah, that's an earthshaker fer sure.

What a bunch of wimps. I hope none of them go campinig here in the Rockies.

#28

You're hysterical about a little bit of monkey poo? Thanks I always like to end the day with a laugh.

re: #36 Walter L. Newton

What a bunch of wimps. I hope none of them go campinig here in the Rockies.

Are the monkeys bad this year?

/

re: #35 Russkilitlover

Oh, yeah. What chaos! He sat in one spot, the moved from point A to point B. And everyone screams. Yeah, that's an earthshaker fer sure.

Anyone in Denver have any spare monkeys they can loan out next week?

re: #37 jemima

#28

You're hysterical about a little bit of monkey poo? Thanks I always like to end the day with a laugh.

My dear, if you can find where I typed "hysterical" in #28, I will pay you 1,000 qatloos.

I thought it was Joe Biden but then I noticed that it wasn't talking and making a fool out of itself.

re: #38 OldLineTexan

Are the monkeys bad this year?

/

They will be, starting Aug. 25th.

When reached, Darryl Hall responded he's glad that John Oates was found safe and unhurt.

re: #4 Ward Cleaver

.22 with rat shot.

Just kidding!

My jokes stink like a monkey. I'm out.

Hell the next thing you know the DNC will be giving the monkeys in Denver free hair cuts to avoid potential chaos at the convention.

Don't they have tranquilizer guns in Japan?

Greenies have 2 modes of dealing with animal life. Either they think bears are like Winnie-the-Pooh and can be your BFF or a little monkey causes a mass evacuation of the building.

re: #47 sbvft contributor

No guns in Japan

OT

CNN is reporting... nothing.

re: #34 Typicalwhitey

When a monkey is bad like that, you should just spank it.

Ok, Spank IT!

Commercial first, but worth the wait for this thread.

#40

Get a thesaurus and chose any word you like to replace hysterical.

re: #48 jemima

Greenies have 2 modes of dealing with animal life. Either they think bears are like Winnie-the-Pooh and can be your BFF or a little monkey causes a mass evacuation of the building.

Now THAT is funny right there.

Remember the idjit that crawled into the bear display at the zoo to "commune"? I wish I could remember where that was.

re: #49 Daffy Duck

No guns in Japan

It's tough to capture a monkey with two big chopsticks.

You know it's a slow news day when a monkey sighting in the Japanese subway makes more press than a war in Georgia.

re: #52 jemima

#40

Get a thesaurus and chose any word you like to replace hysterical.

I won't bother trying to explain how much you missed my point by.

If you like shit flung in your face, that's between you and your monkey.

re: #55 lawhawk

Isn't that the awful truth..

Umm, is this a preview of the Demoncrat convention? And, does that monkey remind me of someone? Oh, yes, the presumed nominee, that's it.

Ah yes, Shibuya station. Brings back memories.

If I remember correctly, Ueno Zoo is nearby. Maybe that's where the monkey came from?

were those butterfly nets?
who did they consult w/ for corralling a monkey?
a bug expert?

re: #54 HelloDare

It's tough to capture a monkey with two big chopsticks.

If that monkey was in China, he'd be looking at a wok soon.

#53

I was thinking about the dope in Alaska who was killed by the bear he was trying to serve tea and honey to or whatever the well-thought out project was.

They prolly already have the monkey signed up for sensitivity training. Sheesh.

Aww, poor lil guy.

#56

You're way too cranky. Have a good evening.

re: #62 jemima

#53

I was thinking about the dope in Alaska who was killed by the bear he was trying to serve tea and honey to or whatever the well-thought out project was.

Never heard that one. Hilarious!

re: #61 OldLineTexan

If that monkey was in China, he'd be looking at a wok soon.

In the US he'd be on a walk.

I think I was at that station. Lots of dudes reading comic books on those trains. Comic books big in Japan. Kinda weird.

Adobe reader wouldn't load to Firefox for some reason, so I assume a small terrorized a subway station?

re: #54 HelloDare

You do know that you're supposed to eat sushi with your fingers - not with chopsticks.

Big In Japan

re: #65 jemima

#56

You're way too cranky. Have a good evening.

HAHAHAHA.

Have you ever tried the "quote" function? It's almost as much fun as a bear with a monkey!

re: #55 lawhawk

You know it's a slow news day when a monkey sighting in the Japanese subway makes more press than a war in Georgia.

That's the truth.
Or BHO's Annenberg records.
Or any of the first 3 or 4 threads yesterday morning.

re: #55 lawhawk

You know it's a slow news day when a monkey sighting in the Japanese subway makes more press than a war in Georgia.

is that a "slow" news day or a manipulated "news" day. Sad to think that 30% of media viewers are now distracted from war in Georgia and Russian nuke threats to a monkey in Japan......"ooooooh shiny, pretty.....look at the colors......

re: #50 Walter L. Newton

OT

CNN is reporting... nothing.

Must be a slow day on the communist propaganda front.

So is this the vaunted Second Front in the War on Terror? Better check to see it isn't another rubber suit monkey.

re: #68 sbvft contributor

Those "comic" books are called Manga. And you are right, it's weird.

re: #32 Jurassic Slappass

*snort*

Spaced Invaders: Artist thinks that Space invaders is metaphor for post-9/11 world... and uses the game to destroy the WTC.

New world record in the 200 meters - 19.30. That's absolutely amazin'.

re: #55 lawhawk

You know it's a slow news day when a monkey sighting in the Japanese subway makes more press than a war in Georgia.

Moreover, the lack of good news from Iraq is deafening.

re: #80 Cartman

New world record in the 200 meters - 19.30. That's absolutely amazin'.

19:30, takes longer to get from the couch to fridge and back with a beer.

re: #75 Cartman

Must be a slow day on the communist propaganda front.

Oh yeah, just one day among many. US and Poland sign a missile defense pact. Russia goes ballistic, threatens, basically total war retaliation. Questions surround Cuba and Venezuela. BHO is still an idiot. Yup. Nothing to report here....

re: #80 Cartman

"Lightning" Bolt does strike again. Amazing what he could have done to the 100m record if he actually tried to run it flat out... the guy has some serious jets.

Something Beatles

I'm Mike Rowe, and this is my job: Japanese-train-station-monkey-wrangler. Let the poo flinging begin!

Here, cry your hearts out...

Gorilla refuses to let go of her dead baby

[Link: www.cnn.com...]

re: #87 Walter L. Newton

Georgians make lemonade out of Russian lemons.

Ah, they should have just played some Disturbed and let the awesome power of David Draiman's voice shock the monkey into unconsciousness.

re: #87 Walter L. Newton

Here, cry your hearts out...

Gorilla refuses to let go of her dead baby

Oh. I can't clicky. Doan wanna be sad.

re: #84 lawhawk

"Lightning" Bolt does strike again. Amazing what he could have done to the 100m record if he actually tried to run it flat out... the guy has some serious jets.

He missed that opportunity due to his cockiness, IMO.

re: #87 Walter L. Newton

re: #47 sbvft contributor

Don't they have tranquilizer guns in Japan?

Tranquilizer nunchucks

re: #87 Walter L. Newton

Well if that isn't just the downer for the night. Who said that animals have no soul! Absolutely heartbreaking.

re: #54 HelloDare

It's tough to capture a monkey with two big chopsticks.

but a man who can catch a fly with chopsticks can do anything....

channeling Mr. Miyagi

re: #87 Walter L. Newton

Here, cry your hearts out...

Gorilla refuses to let go of her dead baby

[Link: www.cnn.com...]

Gee thanks, Walt, I defer on this one...

re: #94 Russkilitlover

Well if that isn't just the downer for the night. Who said that animals have no soul! Absolutely heartbreaking.

Run... a DI comment!

re: #75 Cartman

CNN: "It's only news when WE say it is!".

Bristol is going to finish green, white, checker.

Beheading threat made on Canadian bus

EDMONTON, Alberta, Aug. 20 (UPI) -- The Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Alberta arrested a man on an Edmonton-bound Greyhound bus for allegedly threatening to behead two passengers.
The news emerged Wednesday of the incident Monday night in which brothers Josh and Andrew MacDougall said the man sat beside them and was behaving and talking erratically, the Edmonton Sun reported.

They said the man went to the washroom and returned with a knife and began stabbing the seat. They told the RCMP they told the driver three times about the man and each time the driver cautioned the man but continued driving, the report said.

What's in the water up north?

re: #87 Walter L. Newton

Here, cry your hearts out...

Gorilla refuses to let go of her dead baby

[Link: www.cnn.com...]

look at that poor little prostrate thing she is carrying on her back.
:(

Kyle Bush wins truck race Bristol.

Cnn is reporting the McCain has a 1 point lead over BHO. What they did was combine 4 polls, and average them. This sounds less threatening than saying he is leading 5 point in the Zogby poll.

Creeps.

[Link: www.cnn.com...]

re: #101 nyc redneck

look at that poor little prostrate thing she is carrying on her back.
:(

I've read they'll do that for quite awhile, till decomposition starts setting in.

re: #103 Walter L. Newton

No! Messiah can't lose, especially in loaded polls!

Does not compute! Does not compute!

re: #87 Walter L. Newton
Yeah, sad. I saw the same thing on a school field trip to the Philly zoo.

Shoulda' dispatched Cousin Bessie to take care of the problem.

re: #77 Reno911

Thank you Reno 911. Now i know. "Manga"

re: #105 mitthrawnurdo

No! Messiah can't lose, especially in loaded polls!

Does not compute! Does not compute!

Yes, he can lose.

All things must pass

re: #87 Walter L. Newton

Thank you for ruining my otherwise pleasant evening..

Now we're talkin'. I feel comfortable here!

re: #103 Walter L. Newton

BHO's shadow is finally catching up with him.

re: #104 jcm

I've read they'll do that for quite awhile, till decomposition starts setting in.

elephants don't want to leave their dead either. they seem to actually mourn them.

re: #103 Walter L. Newton

Cnn is reporting the McCain has a 1 point lead over BHO. What they did was combine 4 polls, and average them. This sounds less threatening than saying he is leading 5 point in the Zogby poll.

Creeps.

[Link: www.cnn.com...]

CNN. We Report. We Decide.

Or, Code Monkey might've been able to help.

re: #85 The Other Les

Nice.

Get down off that sign, President Ahmadinejad!

No! Wait!

Why am I reminded of this?

Monkey vs. Robot

Or, tell the little bastard to SURRENDER.

daaaaamn, that jamaican girl is fast

re: #116 Gearhead

CNN. We Report. We Decide.

Math wizards they're not.

Spank the Monkey! Bad Monkey!

Kinda funny to think of it flinging feces at the throng of fat, fecund Fujis.

Enough alliteration.

re: #120 Killgore Trout

Monkey vs. Robot

That's what I thought of. My favorite YouTube video, hands-down.

MON

KEY

VS.

RO

BOT

re: #119 Spiny Norman

I soiled my armor!

once i was stalked by a baboon.

re: #123 Ward Cleaver

It should be, "We decide so you don't have to."

re: #125 Ward Cleaver

It's one of those songs that will stick in your head.

re: #127 nyc redneck

That's what restraining orders are for.

re: #126 calcajun

I soiled my armor!

I suspect some in the crowd may have need to clean up a bit...

;^)

re: #130 calcajun

That's what restraining orders are for.

he couldn't read.
lol

re: #128 calcajun

How 'bout, "We decide what to report"?

re: #122 cliffster

daaaaamn, that jamaican girl is fast

GIRL?

She's a 21-year-old WOMAN.

re: #131 Spiny Norman

Dinsdale!

re: #132 nyc redneck

he couldn't read.
lol

That's what they want you to think.

re: #134 MandyManners

More like, Whoa man!

re: #116 Gearhead

We Decide, You Believe

re: #135 calcajun

Dinsdale!

"I've seen grown men pull their own 'eads off rather than see Doug."

re: #134 MandyManners

GIRL?

She's a 21-year-old WOMAN.

Oh, for fuck's sake. I don't believe I had to make that post.

re: #132 nyc redneck

Sigh. Another product of public edukshun.

Boy, you just can't get away from the moonbats, can you? I just opened up this peppermint tea stuff to brew a pot (explanation on last thread) and the paper tags on the bags have cutesy saying like "Your choices can change the world."

And I bought this in Golden, not Boulder.

I change their world. Maybe next time, I'll choose to purchase another brand.

Monkey terrorizes train station in Shibuya, Tokyo.

Just shoot it....problem solved.

re: #137 calcajun

More like, Whoa man!

What is your point?

re: #144 Maximu§

Monkey terrorizes train station in Shibuya, Tokyo.

Just shoot it....problem solved.

Like I said, a .22 with rat shot.

re: #139 Ward Cleaver

But did he know how to treat a female impersonator?

That's a youtube vid.

iPhone 3G is now restoring, baby.

re: #144 Maximu§

Monkey terrorizes train station in Shibuya, Tokyo.

Just shoot it....problem solved.

Not in Japan. They got Station Master Cats....

re: #138 cliffster

We Decide, You Believe

...resistance...is...futile...

re: #147 calcajun

But did he know how to treat a female impersonator?

Absolutely.

It was when they blew up Luton airport that the police began to sit up and take notice.

re: #136 Silhouette

That's what they want you to think.

no, it's true. he couldn't read a word.
but gorillas, now that's another story. they can read. and paint. and do sign language. a restraining order could be upheld in ct. for a gorilla.
lol

re: #145 MandyManners

Tonight - it's under my hat.

Think Mike Meyers' poetry slam in "So, I Married An Axe Murderer."

re: #149 experiencedtraveller

That's Shinbleshanks, the railway cat.

re: #146 Ward Cleaver

Like I said, a .22 with rat shot.

I always said a nice concealed carry law would make the movie Cujo a very short film.

"Mommy, look at the mean dog."
Blam! Blam! Blam!
:roll credits:

"And then he nailed my 'ead to the floor."

Did anyone else notice that on the "Russia takes prisoners and steals humvees" thread a "poster" with the nic of "kiernan" down-clicked virtually post between #30-#213 and a couple after #946? For some reason only Freud would understand I ritually check the up- and down-clicks of the posts and went through the entire thread following this. I guess between 31-212 he/she/it went upstairs 'cause mommy said dinner was ready.

Just my $.02.

This is just too much monkey business!

re: #151 Ward Cleaver

But they still had to nail people's heads to the floor. Otherwise, they were free to consort with the likes of Charles Paisley, the noted baby-crusher and a man call Kierkegaard, who kept bitin' the 'eads off of whippets.

re: #100 jcm

Beheading threat made on Canadian bus

What's in the water up north?

Made the really bad mistake of taking the bus from Atlanta to Chattanooga to pick up a vehicle from parents. It is nothing like an airport. I missed two buses and arrived 8 hours late because I couldn't understand the bus departure announcements. On the bus I sat next to the only recognizably sane person, and he was a truck driver, a pretty reasonable fellow. Problem was he had the window seat and I had the aisle exposing me to more of the unstable passengers. We struck up a conversation between me and the veteran truck driver and Mr. Newbie truck driver, who had the brains of a government educated 8th grader, and absolutely knew everything about driving a rig. By this time twilight had faded to darkness and about midway into the trip the fellow in the next aisle, a Hispanic and unable to speak English started to have an excited and serious conversation with himself in Spanish for the rest of the trip. When we arrived in Chattanooga my parents met me and had the pleasure of watching Mr. Newbie Truck-driver arriving, and finding the company wasn't providing Transport to HQ, and Greyhound had lost his luggage go absolutely ballistic. Nope I'll never forget it and I'll walk before I take the bus.....

re: #155 Silhouette

I always said a nice concealed carry law would make the movie Cujo a very short film.

"Mommy, look at the mean dog."
Blam! Blam! Blam!
:roll credits:

Dat true for most every hack 'n gore slasher flick.

re: #157 tommygum

i did notice that. too many single ding downs.

re: #157 tommygum

Yeah, people do weird things like that sometimes.

re: #157 tommygum

Eh, then I'm glad we have the ratings system.

That was 20 minutes that someone like that wasn't able to do any real damage in the world.

Keeps 'em busy.

re: #146 Ward Cleaver

Like I said, a .22 with rat shot.

Exactly, my boss is a Big game hunter, but was too scared to go into his attic to deal with a family of Raccoons...so I went up there and blasted away the whole bunch. The biggest one charged across the attic at me and I let him have it right in the face.

Your right Ward, a .22 would do the job very well.

re: #155 Silhouette

I always said a nice concealed carry law would make the movie Cujo a very short film.

"Mommy, look at the mean dog."
Blam! Blam! Blam!
:roll credits:

Remember the words of Groucho Marx;

Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

re: #155 Silhouette

I always said a nice concealed carry law would make the movie Cujo a very short film.

I think zombie dogs might require a long gun.

re: #160 LoFlyer

Made the really bad mistake of taking the bus from Atlanta to Chattanooga to pick up a vehicle from parents. It is nothing like an airport. I missed two buses and arrived 8 hours late because I couldn't understand the bus departure announcements. On the bus I sat next to the only recognizably sane person, and he was a truck driver, a pretty reasonable fellow. Problem was he had the window seat and I had the aisle exposing me to more of the unstable passengers. We struck up a conversation between me and the veteran truck driver and Mr. Newbie truck driver, who had the brains of a government educated 8th grader, and absolutely knew everything about driving a rig. By this time twilight had faded to darkness and about midway into the trip the fellow in the next aisle, a Hispanic and unable to speak English started to have an excited and serious conversation with himself in Spanish for the rest of the trip. When we arrived in Chattanooga my parents met me and had the pleasure of watching Mr. Newbie Truck-driver arriving, and finding the company wasn't providing Transport to HQ, and Greyhound had lost his luggage go absolutely ballistic. Nope I'll never forget it and I'll walk before I take the bus.....

I love bus trips. I love the different people. It's like a mobile trailer park.

re: #154 Walter L. Newton

That's Shinbleshanks, the railway cat.

Yeah. The cats on the payroll.

re: #134 MandyManners

GIRL?

She's a 21-year-old WOMAN.

Yes, you're right. I used the wrong word, crazy person ;)

re: #160 LoFlyer

Made the really bad mistake of taking the bus from Atlanta to Chattanooga to pick up a vehicle from parents. It is nothing like an airport. I missed two buses and arrived 8 hours late because I couldn't understand the bus departure announcements. On the bus I sat next to the only recognizably sane person, and he was a truck driver, a pretty reasonable fellow. Problem was he had the window seat and I had the aisle exposing me to more of the unstable passengers. We struck up a conversation between me and the veteran truck driver and Mr. Newbie truck driver, who had the brains of a government educated 8th grader, and absolutely knew everything about driving a rig. By this time twilight had faded to darkness and about midway into the trip the fellow in the next aisle, a Hispanic and unable to speak English started to have an excited and serious conversation with himself in Spanish for the rest of the trip. When we arrived in Chattanooga my parents met me and had the pleasure of watching Mr. Newbie Truck-driver arriving, and finding the company wasn't providing Transport to HQ, and Greyhound had lost his luggage go absolutely ballistic. Nope I'll never forget it and I'll walk before I take the bus.....

I might have started considering beheading someone myself.....
//////////

well, i didn't see any b.o. bumper sticker's this afternoon.
but i did see: "i {heart} jerusalem."
it was on a volvo parked on the street.

re: #170 experiencedtraveller

PIMF = Shimbleshanks

re: #140 MandyManners

Oh, for fuck's sake. I don't believe I had to make that post.

PC, guilt, both, or something else?

re: #161 Daffy Duck

Yeah, but if everyone was packing in those slasher flicks, we wouldn't be "treated" to gratuitous nudity, over the top kill scenes, (although the coolest one I've seen is where Freddy kills that one kid with his own bed in Nightmare on Elm Street) and teenagers acting like complete morons.

re: #176 mitthrawnurdo

Yeah, but if everyone was packing in those slasher flicks, we wouldn't be "treated" to gratuitous nudity, over the top kill scenes, (although the coolest one I've seen is where Freddy kills that one kid with his own bed in Nightmare on Elm Street) and teenagers acting like complete morons.

Yes we would, just head down to a mall.

re: #173 nyc redneck

You still doing your construction project?

re: #171 cliffster

Yes, you're right. I used the wrong word, crazy person ;)

Refer to a 21-year-old black man as a boy.

re: #176 mitthrawnurdo

re: #169 Walter L. Newton

I love bus trips. I love the different people. It's like a mobile trailer park.

You are much more adventurous than I, Walt! I don't mind city buses, But forget Interstate, I was trying to avoid the word trailer-trash!

re: #175 sparrowlake

PC, guilt, both, or something else?

SHE'S A WOMAN. NOT A GIRL.

FACTS ARE FACTS.

re: #157 tommygum

Did anyone else notice that on the "Russia takes prisoners and steals humvees" thread a "poster" with the nic of "kiernan" down-clicked virtually post between #30-#213 and a couple after #946? For some reason only Freud would understand I ritually check the up- and down-clicks of the posts and went through the entire thread following this. I guess between 31-212 he/she/it went upstairs 'cause mommy said dinner was ready.

Just my $.02.

That'll show us "Russophobes"...

What an obsessive little twit.

re: #171 cliffster

Yes, you're right. I used the wrong word, crazy person ;)

My 26 year old often tells me she is out with "the girls".
My 29 year old is still my boy.
What is the effin' problem if it is not used condescendingly?

re: #177 Walter L. Newton

Thanks, now you've reminded me why I hate going to malls. :)

Shawn Johnson won the gold in balance beam.
She went up against the Chinese gymnastics machine.

The Johnson family took out three mortgages to finance her training.

Something I heard on the radio today.

re: #179 MandyManners

Refer to a 21-year-old black man as a boy.

Refer to a 21-year-old white man as a woman!

re: #176 mitthrawnurdo

Oops...post too quickly..

I meant to say: I can't arge wth that.

I have a buddy that is SO into those kinds of 'films.' I just laugh at him... and the stooopid movie).

re: #175 sparrowlake

While it may be PC to insist upon African American instead of black, it is not a matter of PC that it is wrong to call an adult black man "boy."

It is demeaning because it denies him his adult status.

Likewise, calling grown women "girls".

re: #183 Spiny Norman

That'll show us "Russophobes"...

What an obsessive little twit.

I notice McCain is gaining over Obama as the Georgia "crises" continues. Even the libs are noticing McCain's reaction is realistic while Obama is singing "Koomb Byah"!

A monkey story on LGF? I thought I was on Ace of Spades, but realized the language was too clean.

re: #181 LoFlyer

You are much more adventurous than I, Walt! I don't mind city buses, But forget Interstate, I was trying to avoid the word trailer-trash!

Ok, this is going to sound corny, but as a writer, I LOVE TO MEET UNUSUAL people. For what ever reasons, I get along with almost anyone. And I can have them talking up a storm in no time.

I can't think of a single script that I have written that didn't use my interactions with different people as the foundations of my characters.

re: #186 jcm

Shawn Johnson won the gold in balance beam.
She went up against the Chinese gymnastics machine.

The Johnson family took out three mortgages to finance her training.

Something I heard on the radio today.

She sure is cute as a button tho...I'm so glad she won Gold.

re: #127 nyc redneck

once i was stalked by a baboon.

I had an "experience" with a baboon at the San Diego zoo. Many years ago - my brother still brings it up at family gatherings. Me? I think I've blocked it out. And I don't visit the monkey exhibits anymore....

re: #187 cliffster

re: #97 Walter L. Newton

Run... a DI comment!

No. More like Ursula K. Le Guin.

re: #192 Walter L. Newton

Ok, this is going to sound corny, but as a writer, I LOVE TO MEET UNUSUAL people. For what ever reasons, I get along with almost anyone. And I can have them talking up a storm in no time.

I can't think of a single script that I have written that didn't use my interactions with different people as the foundations of my characters.

That's what I love about the old Bogie films like Casablanca, Maltese Falcon and others, the fast paced verbal interactions of the characters. They knew how to make 'em back then!

Monkey terrorizes train station in Shibuya, Tokyo.

/could be Bigfoot in a monkey costume

re: #178 Maximu§

You still doing your construction project?

hey {maximus}, i'm in the city now. i left my husband and brother up state to do the 2nd floor windows. it's going great. i really only started the project for some healing w/ my brother. so we could work on something together. and get beyond some of the bs from our childhood.
it's remarkable. dad just never 'got' who my brother is. but i do.

re: #192 Walter L. Newton

Ok, this is going to sound corny, but as a writer, I LOVE TO MEET UNUSUAL people. For what ever reasons, I get along with almost anyone. And I can have them talking up a storm in no time.

I can't think of a single script that I have written that didn't use my interactions with different people as the foundations of my characters.

I have a cousin with that knack, she'll walk into a room of strangers, work the room. Come out remember everyone's names, their wives names, kids where they work. Her husband is a financial planner, but she's the one that brings in the business.

re: #194 Russkilitlover

I had an "experience" with a baboon at the San Diego zoo. Many years ago - my brother still brings it up at family gatherings. Me? I think I've blocked it out. And I don't visit the monkey exhibits anymore....

I had a similar thing happen to me...

We were all out at the zoo one day, I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit. I fell in. Everyone screamed and my brother jumped in after me, forgetting that he had blueberries in his front pocket. The gorillas just went wild. They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll to get to those blueberries. One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla who tossed him to another. Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help but it was too late. The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all.

Walter in Golden, Co.

re: #194 Russkilitlover

I had an "experience" with a baboon at the San Diego zoo. Many years ago - my brother still brings it up at family gatherings. Me? I think I've blocked it out. And I don't visit the monkey exhibits anymore....

I fear you just left yourself wide open with that one. ;)

re: #182 MandyManners

See my 184.
Is it OK to call a white man "boy"?
Boy and girl are legitimate terms of fondness, and are also used by men and women as a way to cling to youth.

re: #202 Cartman

I fear you just left yourself wide open with that one. ;)

For a start, see my 201

It's one of the DNC Delegates, who managed to get on the wrong flight to Denver...

re: #203 sparrowlake

See my 184.
Is it OK to call a white man "boy"?
Boy and girl are legitimate terms of fondness, and are also used by men and women as a way to cling to youth.

I give up.

re: #194 Russkilitlover

I had an "experience" with a baboon at the San Diego zoo. Many years ago - my brother still brings it up at family gatherings. Me? I think I've blocked it out. And I don't visit the monkey exhibits anymore....

that's what i'm talking abt.
i also watched a mt. lion stalk a little boy in a zoo.
he was petrified. he sensed that he was a prey item.

I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

re: #201 Walter L. Newton

Such an awesome movie...

/F.A.G - Film Actors Guild.

I recall visiting the St. Louis zoo as a kid with my friends. We were up by the chimpanzee cage, pressing our noses against the glass, and low and behold the chimp opens its mouth revealing sh*t. Yes, that sh*t must have been good.

It got a rise out of us, which I'm sure was it's purpose, but really the joke was on the chimp.

re: #174 Walter L. Newton

Thanks. I hated Cats. I once argued that we should force Ahmadinejad to attend a showing when he visited New York...

re: #13 turn

Monkey see, monkey do....

Funky Sea, Funky Dew

re: #209 mitthrawnurdo

Such an awesome movie...

/F.A.G - Film Actors Guild.

"As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion. "

Good Evening Lizards! It was anothern humid day in the Very Far Western Suburbs of Chicagoland today.

I was reading the comments on the monkey and my IE decided not to work anymore. Shall I blame the monkey, Vista, the ACLU or the cat?

How are you-all this evening and what are we talking about?

It's such a small thing.

re: #195 MandyManners

Good point!

re: #214 ggt

Good Evening Lizards! It was anothern humid day in the Very Far Western Suburbs of Chicagoland today.

I was reading the comments on the monkey and my IE decided not to work anymore. Shall I blame the monkey, Vista, the ACLU or the cat?

How are you-all this evening and what are we talking about?

Microsoft or Vista, your pick!

re: #215 MandyManners

It's such a small thing.

That's what she said. The woman, of course.

re: #201 Walter L. Newton

I had a similar thing happen to me...

We were all out at the zoo one day, I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit. I fell in. Everyone screamed and my brother jumped in after me, forgetting that he had blueberries in his front pocket. The gorillas just went wild. They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll to get to those blueberries. One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla who tossed him to another. Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help but it was too late. The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all.

Walter in Golden, Co.

What? :/

re: #211 experiencedtraveller

I'm not crazy about it. But it makes a GREAT way to introduce a date to musical theatre IMHO. I've seen it 13 times, 3 times when it was playing in NY.

re: #189 Silhouette

While it may be PC to insist upon African American instead of black, it is not a matter of PC that it is wrong to call an adult black man "boy."
It is demeaning because it denies him his adult status.
Likewise, calling grown women "girls".

Is calling a white man "boy" demeaning?
Doesn't it depend on the context?
Racist/sexist PC - IMO.

re: #202 Cartman

I fear you just left yourself wide open with that one. ;)

Don't ask for the details, unless you really want to know....

re: #213 Walter L. Newton

Monkey power!

FEAR THE MONKEY!

Funnier than the one of the chimp on the roof who grabbed the dart gun and threw it over the evil hu-man's head.

Cops kill cougar on North Side...Wee monkey should be glad he's not in Chicago!

re: #199 nyc redneck

hey {maximus}, i'm in the city now. i left my husband and brother up state to do the 2nd floor windows. it's going great. i really only started the project for some healing w/ my brother. so we could work on something together. and get beyond some of the bs from our childhood.
it's remarkable. dad just never 'got' who my brother is. but i do.

Sweet, sometimes working side-by-side on a project can bond family....keep me in the loop Princess.

I think you were one of the coolest people in here.

re: #159 calcajun

But they still had to nail people's heads to the floor. Otherwise, they were free to consort with the likes of Charles Paisley, the noted baby-crusher and a man call Kierkegaard, who kept bitin' the 'eads off of whippets.

The Piranha Brothers were based on real people, the Kray twins.
No giant hedgehog, though.
DINSDALE!

OT ... Some interesting reading tonight for my son's storytime. "Mister Seahorse" by Eric Carle belongs a few thread back with NatGeo and the Evolution of Sex. "Duck For President" by Doreen Cronin appears to be the story of Barack Obama's meteoric rise throught the Illinois Legislature, US Senate, and onto the national stage.

Ice Fishing...

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither McCain nor the Obamessiah had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

After much back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota .

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish.

Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day John McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Barack, I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.'

The next night (after John McCain returns with 50 fish), Reid said to Obama, 'Well, tell me, how is John McCain cheating?'

Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice!'

Experience counts!

re: #217 LoFlyer

Really? I am still teetering between the ACLU and the cat. You know, they are vicious rivals.

re: #201 Walter L. Newton

I had a similar thing happen to me...

We were all out at the zoo one day, I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit. I fell in. Everyone screamed and my brother jumped in after me, forgetting that he had blueberries in his front pocket. The gorillas just went wild. They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll to get to those blueberries. One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla who tossed him to another. Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help but it was too late. The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all.

Walter in Golden, Co.

What? :/

Really! To this very day, I blame it on my bad acting. That's why I became an actor, and learned how to act, because that's my only way to make it up to my brother.

Adult female humans are WOMEN.

Adult male humans are MEN.

WHY IS THIS SO FUCKING HARD?

re: #211 experiencedtraveller

Thanks. I hated Cats. I once argued that we should force Ahmadinejad to attend a showing when he visited New York...

Joe Queenan's skewering of Cats in his tome Red Lobster, The Blue Lagoon and White Trash is some of the funniest, most vicious pilloring I've ever read. Highly recommended if you hated Cats.

The Barabary apes of Gibraltar are much more troublesome. They will eat your lunch, steal your car keys, and drive off with your best girl, laughing the whole damn time.

re: #231 Walter L. Newton

Really! To this very day, I blame it on my bad acting. That's why I became an actor, and learned how to act, because that's my only way to make it up to my brother.

That's above my pay grade.

re: #201 Walter L. Newton

I had a similar thing happen to me...

We were all out at the zoo one day, I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit. I fell in. Everyone screamed and my brother jumped in after me, forgetting that he had blueberries in his front pocket. The gorillas just went wild. They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll to get to those blueberries. One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla who tossed him to another. Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help but it was too late. The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all.

Walter in Golden, Co.

OMG, you can't be serious....

re: #211 experiencedtraveller

Thanks. I hated Cats. I once argued that we should force Ahmadinejad to attend a showing when he visited New York...

So did we. I think, though, Ahmadinejad should be forced to be in the adaptation, Pigs.

Guys, I am calling it a night, I am going to sit on the balcony overlooking the river, (we would call it a creek where I come from) turn on my new MP3 player, drink a beer and rock out. I'll catch y"all next time!

re: #235 Archimedes

That's above my pay grade.

Arch, my original paragraph was from the movie "Team America: World Police." I was just "funnin'" with everyone. Sorry.

This is NOT a headline!
I offer BHO as proof!

re: #236 Maximu§

OMG, you can't be serious....

Max, my original paragraph was from the movie "Team America: World Police." I was just "funnin'" with everyone. Sorry.

re: #239 Walter L. Newton

Arch, my original paragraph was from the movie "Team America: World Police." I was just "funnin'" with everyone. Sorry.

I kind of knew that, but couldn't figure out your angle. I've not seen that movie.

re: #239 Walter L. Newton

Arch, my original paragraph was from the movie "Team America: World Police." I was just "funnin'" with everyone. Sorry.

LOL, that would be cool tho....

re: #207 nyc redneck

that's what i'm talking abt.
i also watched a mt. lion stalk a little boy in a zoo.
he was petrified. he sensed that he was a prey item.

LOL! (Only because everyone, including the little boy in your story, is still alive.) Again at the SD Zoo, I was with my brother his wife and my two little neices - 3 and 5 at the time. They wanted to see the "kitties," so we went down the big cat path. Two female African lions walked back and forth STARING at my nieces. Never blinked, never took their eyes off them. Where ever the girls went the lionesses paced along side. The girls were oblivious, but we adults all got the heebie jeebies and headed promptly to the "hoofed" animal areas (I gently steered everyone away from the.....monkeys).

re: #227 Kosh's Shadow

The Piranha Brothers were based on real people, the Kray twins.
No giant hedgehog, though.
DINSDALE!

That's my line!

_{The Piranha Brothers is MP's greatest sketch, evah! Yes, funnier that the Dead Parrot.}

re: #233 StinkHammer

Joe Queenan's skewering of Cats in his tome Red Lobster, The Blue Lagoon and White Trash is some of the funniest, most vicious pilloring I've ever read. Highly recommended if you hated Cats.

Thanks! Its on the list.

re: #238 LoFlyer

Guys, I am calling it a night, I am going to sit on the balcony overlooking the river, (we would call it a creek where I come from) turn on my new MP3 player, drink a beer and rock out. I'll catch y"all next time!

Good night. I picked up National Treasure Two today, I'm thinking of watching it. I'd go outside and look at the mountains, but it's dark now.

I think Walt just did a good job of pullin' on some Lizard legs. :)

re: #232 MandyManners

Does it make anyone's life better to find so many reasons to get offended?

re: #248 Cartman

I think Walt just did a good job of pullin' on some Lizard legs. :)

Big Grin here.

re: #247 Walter L. Newton

Kid and I watched Exodus today (Paul Newman). I didn't like National Treasure 2. I thought it was a Indiana Jones wanna be.

re: #247 Walter L. Newton

Good night. I picked up National Treasure Two today, I'm thinking of watching it. I'd go outside and look at the mountains, but it's dark now.

Do you own a flashlight?

The Second American Revolution

re: #248 Cartman

I think Walt just did a good job of pullin' on some Lizard legs. :)

He sure did. :D I mean, you don't joke about someone close to you dying, so I didn't want to say anything untoward!

re: #226 Maximu§

oh, i'll keep you posted.
( let me know if i bore you to tears. )
all i do is write abt. my family.

Got 'marked' by a bengal tiger...

re: #244 Russkilitlover

LOL! (Only because everyone, including the little boy in your story, is still alive.) Again at the SD Zoo, I was with my brother his wife and my two little neices - 3 and 5 at the time. They wanted to see the "kitties," so we went down the big cat path. Two female African lions walked back and forth STARING at my nieces. Never blinked, never took their eyes off them. Where ever the girls went the lionesses paced along side. The girls were oblivious, but we adults all got the heebie jeebies and headed promptly to the "hoofed" animal areas (I gently steered everyone away from the.....monkeys).

At the LA Zoo I had a full grown Tiger stare at my little one like that and I could tell that Tiger was contemplating the 20 foot jump across the water and I think it could make it if it really wanted to...

re: #232 MandyManners

Adult female humans are WOMEN.
Adult male humans are MEN.
WHY IS THIS SO FUCKING HARD?

Because I am sick and tired of having to watch my p's and q's all the time when no offense is intended. And now I give up.

My zoo story involved the alligator tank. Dozens of kiddies all lined up at the glass, side by side. But Mr. Alligator glides straight at Silhouette Jr. Bumps into the glass and just stares at him.

Then we moved to the window at the other side of the tank and the 'gator follows him.

re: #254 Archimedes

He sure did. :D I mean, you don't joke about someone close to you dying, so I didn't want to say anything untoward!

Please... please... don't mention my brother again. It was hard for me to even bring it up the first time.

(am I pushing this now?)

re: #255 nyc redneck

My Son just left for bootcamp, I was in tears the other night.

re: #257 Maximu§

Wild aminals do as they are. Or something like that.

I don't have any eerie zoo tails. I do like to watch when the Penquins are being fed.

re: #232 MandyManners

Adult female humans are WOMEN.

Adult male humans are MEN.

WHY IS THIS SO FUCKING HARD?

Good question. I'm in my forties and had a vendor refer to me as 'little lady." No joke, and this is in California, fer Crissakes, and San Francisco, to boot! It took everything I had not to smash his face with my briefcase. However, his company did NOT get the pre-cast concrete contract that we were currently bidding! And I had no small part in the rejection of their bid. ;)

re: #194 Russkilitlover

I had an "experience" with a baboon at the San Diego zoo. Many years ago - my brother still brings it up at family gatherings. Me? I think I've blocked it out. And I don't visit the monkey exhibits anymore....

Are we talking getting hit with flying monkey poop, or "Clarence Beaks"?

re: #260 Walter L. Newton

Please... please... don't mention my brother again. It was hard for me to even bring it up the first time.

(am I pushing this now?)

It's too late, man. The gig is up. :D Your brother deserved what he got. I mean, who jumps in?

re: #257 Maximu§

I like the zoos where the large cats are down in an area that's not necessarily "enclosed", but is surrounded by a stone wall, is lower down than the observation area, and generally would be pretty much impossible for the large cat in question to get to the crowds.

Wait, I hate zoos. But if I'm going to be at a zoo, I want a big stone wall between me and the lions.

I have an animal story (true one, really). I was camping in New Mexico, and I was using a tarp as a tent, "v" folded, open at both ends.

About 11 pm at night, I have this bear decide to sniff oround my feet, he walks right through the tent, in one side, out the other.

Laid very still... very, very still.