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Zombie: I Went to Invesco and All I Got Was This Lousy Report

• Views: 1,962

(Cross-posted at Pajamas Media.)

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…and boy, do I regret it.

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He got a lot of fist bumps from the passing crowd — but no tickets. Would you give up your ticket to the Second Coming?

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I tried to find the beginning of the line — a line which seemed to have no beginning or end. I made the mistake at first of trying to go toward the entrance. Foolish me. Notice how the line seems to emerge from the stadium. I was told this was actually the middle of the line. So I tried my best to work my way backwards.

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Back, back I went, for a quarter mile, a half a mile…and even after all that it kept winding and looping back upon itself over and over.

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In each parking area, the line zigzagged in labyrinthine meanders, intended to handle to most amount of people in the space available.

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It just kept going, and going…

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…and going and going. The term “Kafka-esque” is overused, but boy, was it ever appropriate here.

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Finally, I found myself back out on the city streets on the other side of the stadium, where it stretched for block after block…and here, I finally found the end of the line. A policemen keeping watch told me that the expected wait time at that point was over two and a half hours.

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I heard a slight flurry of activity in the distance and went to investigate. Turns out a rumor was flying that they had opened an additional entrance on a lesser-used side of Invesco Field. People were pointing, but hesitated — should they give up their precious place in line on the basis of a rumor?

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But when a very official-looking man announced that it was indeed true, everyone within earshot scrambled overland toward the new entrance at top speed, as if someone had reported finding gold nuggets in a nearby river.

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Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you: parking spaces in prime spots near the stadium were going for $80 apiece.

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It was not a fluke. There were several signs like this, and some for $60 a little further out.

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Were there protesters? Yes — a tiny few. Some communists tried to convert stalwart Democrats in one portion of the line, with little success.

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World Can’t Wait joined in, acting like cult members as usual.

As I reported earlier, I saw the members of the crazy Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps church walking by across the street at one point, but I was unable to follow them at that moment, and when I searched for them frantically later, I could find neither hide nor hair of them. Strange.

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These two people were the only independent protesters I saw.

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This security guard gave me a free bottle of water, and then murmured, “Are you for McCain?” I gave a noncommittal “possibly” sort of shrug, but that was enough to inspire him to open his vest.

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Around the other back side of the stadium, I discovered what I think must have been the “VIP entrance” where all the politicos arrived.

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As I was leaving to come file this report, my bus passed several heavily guarded convoys like this one headed back up toward that secret entrance: the bus barely visible on the left of the photo appeared to be filled with congressmen or some other high-status guests.

And that’s what the view was like outside Invesco Field on the night of Obama’s acceptance speech.

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This is a personal thing, I think that if you wanted to make top ten hits and sell millions of records, you could.

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Yeah, but who wants to go through life with a tiny nose and one glove on?