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"Human biology has not adapted to the pressures faced on Larry King Live" or the pain experienced by the viewing audience if forced to watch his show! Very funny video.
Hmm. A post about terrorists (possibly) on LSD, then one on Larry King, brings forth an old memory.
One night, when I was a teenager, I dropped five hits. I was well into peaking territory while flipping through the channels when I saw Larry for the first time in my life. I laughed hysterically for over half an hour. At the time, I thought he was the funniest looking person I had ever seen. Acid is a helluva drug.
ESPN the Magazine has a regular piece called "What if Larry King Wrote for Us? It goes like this.
Happy 11th birthday, Ryan Sheckler!…You gotta think Tiger Woods has pretty good health insurance…Baron Davis and Nicky Fazekas on the same team? Doesn't seem fair…If I ever get the reggae band back together, I'm naming it Rampage Jackson…Crushed that Ed Wade and Shawn Chacon are no longer chums…Pacman Jones can change his first name all he wants, but his middle name will still be Trouble to me…
Just saying: I'd watch Ben Sheets throw beanbags…It's pretty much impossible for a catcher to toss away his mask without seeming really angry…I had no idea Venus and Serena were sisters…A fella offered me his Jon Kitna jersey for my Wes Welker one, and I said no before he finished his sentence…When Jaromir Jagr signed with that Russian squad, a part of me died…If you ask me, they should hold the College World Series every year…Got fined $50 for flopping in a game at the Y. Not sure if I'm gonna pay up.
True story - well so I'm told. A friend of a friend of mine dropped some acid in a pub in London one time back in the early eighties, then got chased by some skinheads and escaped by climbing into the back of a big van which was dark inside. Unfortunately he started tripping - badly - in the back of this van which happened to be owned by the BBC and was full of - yes, you've guessed it - daleks. To be honest though - between that and LK, I think I'd take my chances with the daleks.
It's time someone started skewering this old idiot. Why couldn't he have stayed on radio, so you wouldn't have to look at him? I guess he's just like Babawa Wawa. He'll find a vehicle somewhere, somehow, just to convince himself he's relevant. We'll be forced to watch this old bastard until he's dead. Maybe after that.
Larry King has a fan underneath his desk, blowing air away from his desk. Why, you ask? He's got legendary gas! He doesn't want to flatulate his guests away! He's a goddamned gasbag! Although I'll give the guy credit for doing the first television tribute to the late George Carlin.
If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT. -- From the Real Frank Zappa book.
Frank says: