Loons of a feather...

I blame the Illuminati. And Darwin. ///

To quote him :

a faithful person who prays regularly does not go and plant bombs here and there.

Bumpy Zawahiri disagrees

Well no one has ever claimed a monopoly over a specific type of lunacy.

Freemason Kook

/I hope you're not calling Freemasons kooks

I'm a former Lodge Junior Deacon, as well as a 32nd Degree Scottish Rite Freemason and a York Rite Knight Templar. So I've pretty much seen the entire Masonic world from the inside, and know all the "secrets" (not revealing anything here, but they essentially concern how we identify ourselves to each other.)

My question for Mr. Yahya: How the hell can we Freemasons run the world, if we can't even figure out how much to charge dues for our members?

Blair's Law in action.

Nirthers, Truthers, Bilderbergers, Freemasonry, ZOG...

When do I get to be in a conspiracy? It's just not fair!

Freemason Conspiracy Kook

/much better, thanks!

I love crankery. I just do.

Where's a transcript? Since I can't hear it, I need a transcript.

re: #12 taxfreekiller

I'll bite. Who's there?

This is screwed

There's NO WAY I'm posting in this thread!

The Freemason thing is in some of their paperwork... charters or something. I never heard of them before I read that. Kiwanis, Rotary, Civitan, ok. But never came across Freemasons.

Usually I stay out of ID/Evolution threads, but Mr. Yahya's promotion of hoary anti-Freemasony canards pretty much shows where he's coming from, and I had to comment.

re: #9 Sean

Nirthers, Truthers, Bilderbergers, Freemasonry, ZOG...

When do I get to be in a conspiracy? It's just not fair!

Can we join the Trilateral Commission or the Council on Foreign Relations?

No? Drat.

OTOH, I believe we are all Zionists, though. We're the baddest of the bad.

;^)

re: #15 taxfreekiller

Freemason Conspiracy Cook who?

Moronic convergence alert!

re: #21 taxfreekiller

hee hee hee

I need a scorecard to keep track of the conspiracy kooks and the overlap between their craziness. /that and more clue by c4

Freemason kookery is as weird as it gets, I stumbled across a whack job site today that detailed their "secret handshakes". It was a long crazy series of photos of celebrities, religious leaders, and world leaders shaking hands... the slightest odd position in grip in the photo was explained.

re: #18 mikalm

Usually I stay out of ID/Evolution threads, but Mr. Yahya's promotion of hoary anti-Freemasony canards pretty much shows where he's coming from, and I had to comment.

This is an ID thread? I thought it was a civic organization thread. Ok then. TTFN.

Freemason's PAH!

It's the Knight's Doppler we have to keep an eye on.

re: #8 Spiny Norman

Blair's Law in action.

THAT is instructive. Thanks for the link!

gclaghorn...ask and you shall be given (an evolution thread)!

Or maybe "Be careful what you wish for"?

all your kooks are belong to us

re: #27 jcm

Freemason's PAH!

It's the Knight's Doppler we have to keep an eye on.

And the Cloud Elders, while we're at it.

Before you know it, we won't know which way to look, so many secret organizations are out to get us!

re: #25 Thanos

Freemason kookery is as weird as it gets, I stumbled across a whack job site today that detailed their "secret handshakes". It was a long crazy series of photos of celebrities, religious leaders, and world leaders shaking hands... the slightest odd position in grip in the photo was explained.

Trying to throw us off...
You must be one of THEM!

*cue eerie music*

If I'm going to join a conspiracy, I'd want something out of it, and I seem to recall the freemasons had some darn good stuff stored somewhere under...oops, was it Boston or Philadelphia? Anyway, I'll join if I can get one of those lovely statues they had stashed down there for my front hall.

/Or cookies. Do freemasons do cookies?

On a serious note, my grandfather was a mason. My mother still has his ring.

And the anti-Freemasonry stuff becomes less amusing when one considers that historically it's usually been associated with anti-Semitism. A particular strain of the latter delusion sees the Craft as a front for International Zionism -- a way to seduce good Gentile men into devious cabbalistic activities under the guise of "brotherhood" and community work.

waiting for 100 posts to OT...

re: #32 jcm

The only problem is, if you meet people who are into conspiracy theory, they actually believe that.

It tends to fill me with gloom. It also makes me seriously paranoid - they're the sort of people who will someday go off their rockers in a dangerous way.

re: #33 EmmmieG

On a serious note, my grandfather was a mason. My mother still has his ring.

Mine too- but he got kicked out.

re: #3 Sharmuta

I blame the Illuminati. And Darwin. ///

John conner has some hilarious calls on youtube. ( funny to sane people. he takes it quite seriously )

his calls to michael savage, John Gibson and alan colmes are particularly good.

re: #3 Sharmuta

I blame the Illuminati. And Darwin. ///

And let us not forget the decades old Evil Atheist Conspiracy, which of course, doesn't exist.

re: #37 Sharmuta

Mine too- but he got kicked out.

Is there a funny story here, or was he just not conspiratorial enough for them?

re: #33 EmmmieG

Emmmie, I take it you're female? That disqualifies you from membership in regular Masonry, although I suppose you could get into Eastern Star if you married a Brother. However, the Theosophical Society runs something called "Co-Masonry," which is a coed version of what we do. It's not recognized as legit by regular Masons, but is still historically and ritualistically interesting, and I have a couple of pals who are involved.

re: #31 Dianna

And the Cloud Elders, while we're at it.

Before you know it, we won't know which way to look, so many secret organizations are out to get us!

Not a surprise. The Morlocks were mining and supplying those organizations with massive quantities of Administranium and Obtuseium. When we made the gamey buttocks of Morlocks a regular part of the lizard army diet, we cut into those organizations supplies. Ever since then they've been out to get us. :)

re: #28 jwb7605

re: #8 Spiny Norman

Blair's Law in action.

THAT is instructive. Thanks for the link!

Cool thing is, I was there when it was "discovered". A rignside seat to cultural history, in a way.

Also cool, Google now comes back with 15,200,000 hits for it. Yay Tim!

=^D

Be sure to go pay him a visit and sign the Big List, if you haven't already.

re: #32 jcm

Trying to throw us off...
You must be one of THEM!

*cue eerie music*

Ok you asked for it, it was written by this Texe Marrs Freakazoid:

The Mattel Toy Co.
In March 1997, Texe Marrs stated:

“ Even our children are being stealthily indoctrinated into the new faith... The Mattel Toy Co. has introduced its new 'Goddess of the Sun' Barbie doll. Is this the Whore of Babylon spirit, alive and with us today? ”

[edit] New International Version of the Bible
In August 1997, he claimed that the New International Version of the Bible is a feminist book for the New Age.

[edit] American government and the FBI
In a Power of Prophecy radio program on Feb 16, 2008 in a show title, The Rise of the Illuminati Psychopaths and The Savage Horror of America’s Coming Gloom, Marrs states that the FBI shoots people's pets such as was the case at Ruby Ridge. He also claimed that the USA lies about terrorist groups like Al Qaeda and further hinted that the American government could be making up bombing incidents in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom.[2]

Marrs is quoted as saying from the program, The Rise of the Illuminati Psychopaths and The Savage Horror of America’s Coming Gloom show:

“ America is a psycopathic nation[2] ”
“ A church can become dysfunctional because a psycopath gains control, and it's not always the pastor...soon the whole church goes insane[2]

I've seen him go off on this topic before. He blames Jews, Masons and atheists for Islamic terrorism too.

re: #48 Killgore Trout

I've seen him go off on this topic before. He blames Jews, Masons and atheists for Islamic terrorism too.

How does he sleep at night, we wonder...

re: #48 Killgore Trout

Don't forget the Illuminati and the New World Order too. It is part of the Master Plan! ;>)

re: #45 taxfreekiller

OT

re: #47 taxfreekiller

TO

lol - I'm out folks. Enjoyed chatting with you all!

No downdings on Charles' post yet, the late shift is late.

re: #49 Spiny Norman

re: #49 Spiny Norman

How does he sleep at night, we wonder...

I imagine he sleeps quite well. He's very rich and is well connected.

re: #46 Thanos

Ah, the great Texe Marrs - the David Icke of Know-Nothing fundamentalism.

That last paragraph sounds like it could have been written by any left-wing moonbat during the last eight years, which is a great example of the "moronic convergence" of political paranoia.

re: #34 mikalm

And the anti-Freemasonry stuff becomes less amusing when one considers that historically it's usually been associated with anti-Semitism. A particular strain of the latter delusion sees the Craft as a front for International Zionism -- a way to seduce good Gentile men into devious cabbalistic activities under the guise of "brotherhood" and community work.

Hey, Texe Marrs, professional Kookspiricist, says they don't hate the jews, they want to save them:

John Hagee
On the Power of Prophecy radio program show on Feb 23, 2008 titled, “Jesus Is Not Israel's Messiah”—A Profile of John Hagee, Marrs criticized televangelist John Hagee for his claims that Jesus is not the Jewish messiah with these statements:

“ He may be possessed by Satan[3] ”
“ Most of these fakers have diploma mill [degrees][3] ”
“ His books are ghost written[3] ”
“ John Hagee is a faker[3] ”

Marrs also claimed on that show that John Hagee is a false prophet, part of the Judaizer movement, an apostate and an Antichrist. He also stated that Hagee attacks the word of God and is in bed with Jews, Lucifer, Satan, and the serpent.

re: #36 Dianna

The only problem is, if you meet people who are into conspiracy theory, they actually believe that.

It tends to fill me with gloom. It also makes me seriously paranoid - they're the sort of people who will someday go off their rockers in a dangerous way.

Very true, what cracks me up the most is, the lack of evidence of a conspiracy is evidence!

re: #53 Killgore Trout

re: #49 Spiny Norman

I imagine he sleeps quite well. He's very rich and is well connected.

Ah! Should I suspect his CTs are snakeoil pitched to the weak-minded?

You need to follow the flawed logic.
1. If you don't believe the literal reading of The Bible Or the Koran, you are not a true believer.
2. If you re not a believer, you don't have a moral compass.
3. If you don't have a moral compass, you'll do bad things.
4. If you can do bad things, you blow up people.
Of course you have to factor in that more people have been killed because of their faith or lack there of in the equation. Go back to the dark ages and have this debate and meet your friend the rack.

re: #56 jcm

Very true, what cracks me up the most is, the lack of evidence of a conspiracy is evidence!

And the True Believers see nothing funny about that.

Tags: Evolution, Creationism, Religion, Intelligent Design, Science, Turkey, Harun Yahya, Islam, Freemasonry

Kook, Nut, Loon, Wack, Maroon, Fool, Idiot, Superstition, Suspicion, Conspiracy, Unintelligent Design, Turkey, Goose, Quack, Brick short of a load, Light in the loafers, Drip, Screwball, Psycho-Ceramic (crack pot), Meathead

Sorry Mikalm, wrong kookspiracy quote lunacy above, here's the right part:

Marrs has been accused of being anti-Catholic,[5][6] critical of Freemasonry[6][7], and the New Age movement[6]. His critics, like Edward L. King[7], have accused him of anti-Semitism[7]. Marrs' website offers copies of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion for sale, saying:

“ The Illuminati's March of Death as I call it was revealed in advance in the satanically prophetic textbook of terror called The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion. Read what the Zionist monsters said they were going to do.[8] ”

Texe Marrs denies harboring anti-Semitic views. In his video, Thunder Over Zion, he states:

“ If we hated the Jews, we wouldn't want to see them in Heaven with us, would we? We'd want to see them go to Hell. But it's the Christian who truly loves the Jews, who truly wants the best for them. And that's why we preach to the Jews, as well as to gentiles.

re: #46 Thanos

If would be funny if these nutbugers weren't so serious.

re: #61 itellu3times

Kook, Nut, Loon, Wack, Maroon, Fool, Idiot, Superstition, Suspicion, Conspiracy, Unintelligent Design, Turkey, Goose, Quack, Brick short of a load, Light in the loafers, Drip, Screwball, Psycho-Ceramic (crack pot), Meathead

Cuckoo.

Well, Lizards, Sir Knight and Prince of the Royal Secret MikalM, 32nd Degree, has to make an important phone call (gotta chat with the Bros about that Federal Reserve thing, as well as that new war we're cooking up.) I'll check back later on you cowan jokers!

/evil laughter

re: #56 jcm

Very true, what cracks me up the most is, the lack of evidence of a conspiracy is evidence!

You don't seem to understand. The lack of evidence proves there is a coverup.
Good Grief! If there were evidence, there couldn't be a conspiracy!

Sheesh.
/

OT: Swedish city hit by "youth" riots

Note how the Beeb never mentions the rioters religion but notes the presence of a mosque in a disputed building. Liars and Fools.

re: #58 avanti

What, exactly, are you referring to?

re: #54 mikalm

The name Texe Marrs seemed familiar, so I want into my library. Turns out I have Dark Secrets of the New Age , probably given to me 20 years ago by a Bircher. It's useful to know something about the fringe so one can refute outlandish claims.

Can we get a flowchart or something going so I can keep track of all the conspiracies out there.

Just yesterday I was told by a woman that the entire financial situation was created by the Jews so the could buy up the US and turn it into a new Israel. That way they can have a second base to try and take over the world from.

Now I find out its the dang Freemasons! Are the Jews part of the Freemasons? Like some sort of AAA farm club for global conspiracies? ? I'm so fucking confused...

re: #63 jcm

If would be funny if these nutbugers weren't so serious.

It would also be funny if the Islamists and the "conservative" religious right were pushing in the same direction. Hey, they are! Hahahahaha!

re: #50 picaro

Don't forget the Illuminati and the New World Order too. It is part of the Master Plan! ;>)

That's all just a smoke screen to keep the scrutiny off the underground alien bases.

/like the Denver airport and Dulce, New Mexico

re: #60 Spiny Norman

And the True Believers see nothing funny about that.

Boy ain't that the truth, they fly the handle off so damn easily.

re: #75 taxfreekiller

Listen, Bill , he is ok, he is 1/2 black and was the first want-to-be black pres. but, that witch of a wife, send her out of the country on buss. K?

LOL - I love ya'

Again, I'm out.

re: #63 jcm

If would be funny if these nutbugers weren't so serious.

What's interesting about this serious nutjob is that he's from Austin, and a lot of our serious repeatedly whacked socks are from Austin.

Jack T. Chick has a problem with Masons too.

And who hasn't seen the Architect Sketch?

OT:
AFP is getting mighty cozy with Islamic Jihad in Gaza. Taking glamour shots of Hamas thugs practicing their terror tactics- including rappelling down buildings.

And they don't bother to note that the banners call for Israel's destruction.

Hizbullah's been busy in Lebanon indoctrinating hatred of Israel and the US.

Meanwhile, things must be so tough in Gaza that the kids are busy playing with radio controlled toys. I'm sure Hamas or Islamic Jihad will find a way to exploit that rather innocent activity and use it for their terror purposes before long.

re: #71 Instinct

Can we get a flowchart or something going so I can keep track of all the conspiracies out there.

Just yesterday I was told by a woman that the entire financial situation was created by the Jews so the could buy up the US and turn it into a new Israel. That way they can have a second base to try and take over the world from.

Now I find out its the dang Freemasons! Are the Jews part of the Freemasons? Like some sort of AAA farm club for global conspiracies? ? I'm so fucking confused...

Oh yeah! When the market crashed, 4000 Jooos on Wall St stayed home and shorted the S&P!

I read it on the internet!

Masonry reminds me of castles and fortified cities.

re: #71 Instinct

Can we get a flowchart or something going so I can keep track of all the conspiracies out there.

Just yesterday I was told by a woman that the entire financial situation was created by the Jews so the could buy up the US and turn it into a new Israel. That way they can have a second base to try and take over the world from.

Now I find out its the dang Freemasons! Are the Jews part of the Freemasons? Like some sort of AAA farm club for global conspiracies? ? I'm so fucking confused...

80 to 90 percent of these tie back to White Nationalism, and "It's da jooos" that's all ya gotta remember :)

re: #58 avanti

I don't think a single Christian believes the Bible in its entirety should be read literally. There is much poetic and allegoric language. For example, when Jesus is quoted as saying "I am the door" - a literal reading is that he is made of wood. I believe you painted with too broad a brush, which is also a trait of the extremist fringe.

re: #66 jwb7605

You don't seem to understand. The lack of evidence proves there is a coverup.
Good Grief! If there were evidence, there couldn't be a conspiracy!

Sheesh.
/

So rainbow unicorns with strawberry farts do exist!
No evidence of one exists therefore they exist!
BBIW
Going Unicorn hunting!
/

re: #82 experiencedtraveller

Masonry reminds me of castles and fortified cities.

Castles and fortified cities remind me of Dungeons and Dragons.

Chick had a problem with that too.

Half the Supreme Court is filled with Freemasons. That's why the Nirth Certifikit case went no where. The other half is filled with Darwinists. It was doomed from the beginning. Can't you all see that?!

re: #75 taxfreekiller

I read that and looked over at the TV and the Cosby show is on, and then it hit me. Barack and Michelle are like evil versions of the Huxtables.

Anyone who goes on about free masonry has to be a kook, or at the very least full of it.

Free masonry my ass, that shit is freakin' expensive!
/wait, what..

Trilateral Commission, hey all this and no mention of the Trilateral Commission? Sic transit gloria mundi.

Mr. Killer, that band you like ever play over here by Dallas?

re: #91 itellu3times

Didn't they disband after 1988? When Bush Sr. was elected their work was done.

Harun hates Freemasonry, so does VB...

re: #78 Thanos

What's interesting about this serious nutjob is that he's from Austin, and a lot of our serious repeatedly whacked socks are from Austin.

Too much Alex Jones I think.

Skull and Bones, baby.

Skull and Bones.

re: #91 itellu3times

Trilateral Commission, hey all this and no mention of the Trilateral Commission? Sic transit gloria mundi.

Next thing you know someone is going to go on about the Elders of Zion and the South American Nazis.

"serious repeatedly whacked socks"

Rotating title?!

Anyone come across that silly Fisher Price "Islam is the light" doll kookspiracy that's been doing the rounds lately? The usual suspects were all over it, needless to say. I found this apparently racist preacher bellyaching about it here.

re: #96 Racer X

Skull and Bones, baby.

Skull and Bones.

They're just a distraction from the real power behind the throne; The Rotary Club.

re: #78 Thanos

What's interesting about this serious nutjob is that he's from Austin, and a lot of our serious repeatedly whacked socks are from Austin.

Please clue me in on the "nut job from Austin" And I am not being sarcastic. I spent a week with my aunt, who lives just north of Austin, the week after Thanksgiving. It was not the same person I lived with 20 years ago! lol.

re: #73 Killian Bundy

That's all just a smoke screen to keep the scrutiny off the underground alien bases.

/like the Denver airport and Dulce, New Mexico

The DIA link indicates that Wellington Webb's sneakers are in the time capsule.
This is ominous.

And what else could explain the fact that the buildings are secretly Tents?

Though an unfortunate affliction, it turns out that Masonry can be cured...

re: #69 Dolphin

What, exactly, are you referring to?

From the link posted:

"All Terrorists Are Darwinists"

re: #64 Spiny Norman

Cuckoo.

Caca.

re: #104 swamprat

Though an unfortunate affliction, it turns out that Masonry can be cured...

Epoxy can be cured!

re: #101 Occasional Reader

They're just a distraction from the real power behind the throne; The Rotary Club.

Ha! I know the Rotary Club, and you're no Rotarian. You look more Trilateralist to me. Maybe a member of the Club of Rome... /heh

All these conspiracies and secret groups remind me of what Marx once said,
"I don’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member."

Photographic evidence that proves the Jooos! and the Freemasons are in cahoots. Open your eyes, people!
/

Shhh..

re: #108 lawhawk

Ha! I know the Rotary Club, and you're no Rotarian. You look more Trilateralist to me. Maybe a member of the Club of Rome... /heh

Indeed. You can see me in this photo.

re: #87 Sharmuta

Half the Supreme Court is filled with Freemasons. That's why the Nirth Certifikit case went no where. The other half is filled with Darwinists. It was doomed from the beginning. Can't you all see that?!

The Freemasons are holding Obama's nirth certifikit in a special vault in area 51.

That's a guy who knows how to follow the stoopids around. A sucker born every minute, and he'll be right there with the Barnum&Bailey to sell them their snake oil.

re: #114 Occasional Reader

Indeed. You can see me in this photo.

(Just to be clear, I'm the brunette)

re: #109 taxfreekiller

Hon,, got any of those chocolate brownies the girl scouts sold us,

man I'm hungry, hurry, , this stuff Ayers left us is some bad ass smoke

Dude, Have I got a brownie recipe for you! My mom's rocked, but not so much here in Texas. This one is great!

re: #104 swamprat

Though an unfortunate affliction, it turns out that Masonry can be cured...

Masonry opens doors. Watch how important it is to getting this assignment for an architect.

re: #102 Dolphin

Please clue me in on the "nut job from Austin" And I am not being sarcastic. I spent a week with my aunt, who lives just north of Austin, the week after Thanksgiving. It was not the same person I lived with 20 years ago! lol.

I'm talking about Texe Marr, a Freemasonry conspiracy nut, he's full bull goose loon, you can get a copy of the protocols of the elders of zion off his site for instance.

Grapevine's close enough.

~Ban Mozart!~

AGAIN! I'm out - g-d this sh!t is addictive. lol.

re: #91 itellu3times

Trilateral Commission, hey all this and no mention of the Trilateral Commission? Sic transit gloria mundi.

I think this whack-job's motto is:

Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare

_{I think some people in togas are plotting against me}

see more useful Latin phrases...

Does he know all the secret handshakes yet?

re: #33 EmmmieG

On a serious note, my grandfather was a mason. My mother still has his ring.

I'm pretty sure mine was too.

All part of the conspiracy, you know ...

A while back I found a weird ass site that said all symbols were from the devil. That was some whacked out sh*t, because I mean every symbol. They even gave reasons why each specific symbols was from the devil. There's some really nutty sh*t out there.

re: #113 Racer X

Shhh..

Aargh! I just checked - I have two of those 'eye' things in my head - I must be part of the conspiracy too!

You guys are creeping me out.

I'm putting down the bourbon.

Eventually.

re: #127 mich-again

Does he know all the secret handshakes yet?

He learned them from this Monty Python sketch.

re: #130 Sharmuta

all symbols were from the devil.

All of them? Even the Zildjians.

Harun has a whole chapter even in this nascent work dedicated to the collapse of Evolution, from which he says all spiritual evil comes... now that sounds darned familiar.

re: #130 Sharmuta

A while back I found a weird ass site that said all symbols were from the devil. That was some whacked out sh*t, because I mean every symbol. They even gave reasons why each specific symbols was from the devil. There's some really nutty sh*t out there.

You mean, all symbols, including the Magen David, Cross, Crescent, swastika, and Hello Kitty?
Is nothing sacred?

Look, now, I'm looking at my schedule, and I'm just booked up with these conspiracies.

Monday night we've got the special meeting of the Freemasons on the motion to raise the price of argyle socks.

Tuesday night we've got the regular meeting of the nirth certifikit holders, and I really do think it is someone else's turn to hide the real birth certificate in their tupperware for a while. I don't mean to complain, but it's been three weeks now!

Wednesday night is the annual mixer between the Cloud Elders and the Knights of Doppler, and I really don't mind bringing the punch, but is Sue really going to bring those awful cookies with the green frosting? Could someone talk to her?

Thursday is my alien group, and while the photos are quite lovely, and our guests always so charming, it does go late. If those dear creatures from the Sirius system don't get rest, why they'll just get jet lag.

Friday is our date night. I really do insist. We're doubling with Elvis and Amelia to the bowling alley.

Saturday is, as always, reserved for the VRWC group. We'll be working on growing some cultures from that tissue BHO left behind. I do hope Marge remembers to pick up the blue dress.

Sunday I will have to insist on getting some sleep. Really. All of this conspiracizing is just wearing me out!

\

Obama's Poet

Our soon to be president has chosen Elizabeth Alexander to write and read a poem for the inauguration. Alexander is a professor of African American studies at Yale.

Her poetry is as lightweight as her scholarship. Her poems fluctuate between maudlin ramblings about being a woman -- like these opening lines from "Neonatology":

Is
funky, is
leaky, is
a soggy, bloody crotch, is
sharp jets of breast milk shot straight across the room,
is gaudy, mustard-colored poop, is
postpartum tears that soak the baby's lovely head.
Then everything dries and disappears
Then everything dries and disappears

/TFK writes better poetry

re: #133 Kosh's Shadow

He learned them from this Monty Python sketch.

I think we all know who the real threat is...

re: #132 Noam Sayin'

You guys are creeping me out.

I'm putting down the bourbon.

Eventually.

I already put down the bourbon. Well, drank it down.

Some of it.

re: #137 EmmmieG

You f*ckin' ROCK! Outstanding work!

re: #137 EmmmieG

Don't forget to pick the Superbowl winners.

(But not the Buffalo Bills, of course.)

re: #137 EmmmieG

Look, now, I'm looking at my schedule, and I'm just booked up with these conspiracies.

Monday night we've got the special meeting of the Freemasons on the motion to raise the price of argyle socks.

Tuesday night we've got the regular meeting of the nirth certifikit holders, and I really do think it is someone else's turn to hide the real birth certificate in their tupperware for a while. I don't mean to complain, but it's been three weeks now!

Wednesday night is the annual mixer between the Cloud Elders and the Knights of Doppler, and I really don't mind bringing the punch, but is Sue really going to bring those awful cookies with the green frosting? Could someone talk to her?

Thursday is my alien group, and while the photos are quite lovely, and our guests always so charming, it does go late. If those dear creatures from the Sirius system don't get rest, why they'll just get jet lag.

Friday is our date night. I really do insist. We're doubling with Elvis and Amelia to the bowling alley.

Saturday is, as always, reserved for the VRWC group. We'll be working on growing some cultures from that tissue BHO left behind. I do hope Marge remembers to pick up the blue dress.

Sunday I will have to insist on getting some sleep. Really. All of this conspiracizing is just wearing me out!

Your alien pictures are blurry

re: #129 Lynn B.

Hi Lynn B! I owe you a thanks. A while back I mentioned I was going to talk about hannukah to my cubs and you mentioned latkes as a traditional recipe. Went over great.

Thanks!

re: #137 EmmmieG

Don't forget hiding the evidence of who really killed JFK!
And the alien remains from Area 51.

(I really need to finish the novel I'm working on. I could market as reality to these conspiracy nuts, and as fiction to sane people)

re: #137 EmmmieG

Check your calender, Amelia promised me Friday night.

Vanished people are SO unreliable.

(back from his phone call)

Well, that was easy. We've decided the Fed will hold the low rates for awhile. And that war? Nowhere any of you would care about.

BTW, anybody there ever had Full Moon Winter Ale? Nectar of the frickin' Gods, it is.

re: #140 Shay4l

There were so many ways to go with that one. I thought I'd just throw one out there and leave it up to the comics in the room.

re: #137 EmmmieG

What? you can't make time for the trufers, the grassy knolls, the Bildebergers, or the Reptilians?

Wild Beasts - 'The Devil's Crayon'

So on the darker colored posts, what secret message is Charles hiding?
I can usually make out the secret codes on the lighter ones ...

DANG! Spilled that secret!
I better leave before I reveal too much.

re: #94 Thanos

Harun hates Freemasonry, so does VB...

Wasn't there one of the VB cartoons that was posted that had the Freemason symbol on it?

re: #137 EmmmieG

Nice add, newbie.

re: #147 mikalm

BTW, anybody there ever had Full Moon Winter Ale? Nectar of the frickin' Gods, it is.

No. This is.

re: #140 Shay4l

I had to put my rusty nail down...it was spilling on the keyboard when I typed.

re: #148 Noam Sayin'

There were so many ways to go with that one. I thought I'd just throw one out there and leave it up to the comics in the room.

I shoulda left it for the good comics :o/

re: #149 Iron Fist

Who blow up da owl? Who? Who?

Was it Cypress Hill?

re: #153 Sharmuta

Wasn't there one of the VB cartoons that was posted that had the Freemason symbol on it?

[Link: littlegreenfootballs.com...]

re: #138 Killian Bundy

What a load of word-salad gobbledegook.

Isn't Maya Angelou available for a return engagement?

(And I agree re tfk. As I've said, he's the e e cummings of LGF.)

re: #157 Shay4l

Ya gotta practice your craft, man. Don't be shy.

re: #144 EmmmieG

Hi Lynn B! I owe you a thanks. A while back I mentioned I was going to talk about hannukah to my cubs and you mentioned latkes as a traditional recipe. Went over great.

Thanks!

You're most welcome EmmieG. They're a delicious part of the holiday! I'm so glad your cubs enjoyed them.

re: #155 Occasional Reader

20% ABV? One bottle of that stuff should put you on the floor!

re: #94 Thanos

Harun hates Freemasonry, so does VB...

Yes- I'd forgotten until you reminded me, and it was posted on LGF on this thread.

Just some more strange bedfellows.

re: #147 mikalm

Japan's prime rate was zero for a while. Like a decade or so?

re: #159 Charles

Thanks.

re: #138 Killian Bundy

that
is
shit

re: #159 Charles

Charles, it's very rude for you to post comments on your own blog. Stop that.

/I read that recently

re: #163 mikalm

20% ABV? One bottle of that stuff should put you on the floor!

I rszmble thart rmark

Isis - Wills Dissolve.

From the album Panopticon. Careful, they're watching us.

re: #150 mich-again

What? you can't make time for the trufers, the grassy knolls, the Bildebergers, or the Reptilians?

Well, we had the trufers over once, and to be honest...I had to have the sofa cleaned. That scent just does not go away!

/

To be honest, I had to go and google two of those. What do you have to do to get invited to the Bildeberger thingy?

re: #166 Mich-again

Japan's prime rate was zero for a while. Like a decade or so?

In fact, it was less than zero (please, no Brat Pack jokes), in real terms, for a while.

re: #165 taxfreekiller

If I had invested all that money in beer instead of stocks all those years at least I would still have the 10 cent deposit for each can.

Little Joy - With Strangers

re: #168 Shug

that
is
shit

I figured it was was too creative and brilliant for me to understand. Kinda like Marxism.

re: #145 Kosh's Shadow

Don't forget hiding the evidence of who really killed JFK!
And the alien remains from Area 51.

(I really need to finish the novel I'm working on. I could market as reality to these conspiracy nuts, and as fiction to sane people)

Texe Marrs can tell ya all about that too! He taught a JFK assassination class at a university for years...

re: #153 Sharmuta

Wasn't there one of the VB cartoons that was posted that had the Freemason symbol on it?

Yes, Fre made one where the judge ruled against Vlaams Blok, the Judge's desk had the Masonic symbol on it.

re: #160 mikalm

(And I agree re tfk. As I've said, he's the e e cummings of LGF.)

I disagree with tfk on, well, a lot. But I realized years ago that the guy is a natural poet.

re: #175 Iron Fist

Guess I'm just a lightweight, then. I stick with beer and wine -- the hard stuff just gets me too wasted, sours my stomach, and induces hangovers.

re: #180 Thanos

Yes, Fre made one where the judge ruled against Vlaams Blok, the Judge's desk had the Masonic symbol on it.

And a "no-nazi" sign on the side.

re: #154 Noam Sayin'

Nice add, newbie.

EmmyG's no newbie now, Noam. She's almost got a solid month full of great comments under her belt.

/of course, compared to you ... ;-)

re: #175 Iron Fist

You're kidding, right? It's still just beer. Personally, anything under 100 proof is just water...

I defy you to drink two Dogfish Head 120s within the space of 30 minutes and then, I dunno, juggle flaming torches or something.

re: #180 Thanos

That's another common one -- that we control the judicial bench. It pops up in the strangest places, too. Ex: during his trial, Charles Manson made a big deal of throwing what he thought were Masonic hand signals at the judge to bait him.

"mad is the captain of alpha centari"

Hello Night Lizards! It's, actually, not too bad in Near Iowa tonite. One can go outside without earmuffs and survive.

Hatchlings, SantaCorp bail-out and Global Freemasonry. Oh my!

How are you-all this evening and what are we talking about?

Oh, and yeah, those goofy Freemasons.

Forget Mozart. How about Ben Franklin?

/secret handshake or not ...

re: #185 Occasional Reader

I defy you to drink two Dogfish Head 120s within the space of 30 minutes and then, I dunno, juggle flaming torches or something.

Cripes, if I could do that sober, I'd be some guy that could juggle flaming torches or something. ;>}

///

A paranoid poet
not to be trifled with
Say one thing he dislikes
he won't forget it.

re: #183 Sharmuta

And a "no-nazi" sign on the side.

Well, considering the treatment of Freemasonry under National Socialism, it would certainly be understandable.

re: #185 Occasional Reader

I defy you to drink two Dogfish Head 120s within the space of 30 minutes and then, I dunno, juggle flaming torches or something.

I'm a friggin' light weight, one New Beligum Trippel at 7.8 and I'm a buzzin'.

A 20% I'd be under table before I finished it.

From the old Vlaams Belang thread:

This is a golden oldie in the white supremacist movement, going all the way back to the Nazis, whose hate literature often featured conspiracies involving Freemasons and Jews.

Makes you wonder what Oktar reads when not writing islamic creationist books.

re: #185 Occasional Reader

I defy you to drink two Dogfish Head 120s within the space of 30 minutes and then, I dunno, juggle flaming torches or something.

I know a couple of Burning Man fire dancers that might take you up on that one.

I'm interested in getting the Freemasons to do some building work for me, but I'm looking to the Illuminati to install the lighting.

How could I have missed the omniscient individual who watches all?

re: #186 mikalm

That's another common one -- that we control the judicial bench. It pops up in the strangest places, too. Ex: during his trial, Charles Manson made a big deal of throwing what he thought were Masonic hand signals at the judge to bait him.

Did he do the secret handshakes too?
Or maybe it was these signs.

Texe Marrs is only for true kook connoisseurs btw, don't recommend him for most xtians either since he also attacks every televangelist that ever existed with regularity (they are all mini Antichrists)

Hmmm -

Regular Freemasonry has in its core ritual a formal obligation: to be quiet and peaceable citizens, true to the lawful government of the country in which they live, and not to countenance disloyalty or rebellion.[31] A Freemason makes a further obligation, before being made Master of his Lodge, to pay a proper respect to the civil magistrates.[31] The words may be varied across Grand Lodges, but the sense in the obligation taken is always there. Nevertheless, much of the political opposition to Freemasonry is based upon the idea that Masonry will foment (or sometimes prevent) rebellion.

Freemasonry in the United States faced political pressure following the disappearance of William Morgan in 1826. Reports of the "Morgan Affair", together with opposition to Jacksonian democracy (Jackson was a prominent Mason) helped fuel an Anti-Masonic movement, culminating in the formation of a short lived Anti-Masonic Party which fielded candidates for the Presidential elections of 1828 and 1832.

Even in modern democracies, Freemasonry is still sometimes accused of being a network where individuals engage in cronyism, using their Masonic connections for political influence and shady business dealings. This is officially and explicitly deplored in Freemasonry.[31] It is also charged that men become Freemasons through patronage or that they are offered incentives to join. This is not the case; no one lodge member may control membership in the lodge and in order to start the process of becoming a Freemason, an individual must ask to join the Fraternity "freely and without persuasion."[31]

Conspiracy theorists have long associated Freemasonry with the New World Order and the Illuminati, and state that Freemasonry as an organisation is either bent on world domination or already secretly in control of world politics. Historically, Freemasonry has attracted criticism - and suppression - from both the politically extreme right (e.g. Nazi Germany)[80][81] and the extreme left (e.g. the former Communist states in Eastern Europe).[62] The Fraternity has encountered both applause for supposedly founding, and opposition for supposedly thwarting, liberal democracy (such as the United States of America).

In some countries anti-Masonry is often related to anti-Semitism and anti-Zionism. For example, In 1980, the Iraqi legal and penal code was changed by Saddam Hussein's ruling Ba'ath Party, making it a felony to "promote or acclaim Zionist principles, including Freemasonry, or who associate [themselves] with Zionist organisations.
The preserved records of the Reichssicherheitshauptamt (the Reich Security Main Office) show the persecution of Freemasons.[84] RSHA Amt VII (Written Records) was overseen by Professor Franz Six and was responsible for "ideological" tasks, by which was meant the creation of anti-Semitic and anti-Masonic propaganda. While the number is not accurately known, it is estimated that between 80,000 and 200,000 Freemasons were killed under the Nazi regime. Masonic concentration camp inmates were graded as political prisoners and wore an inverted red triangle.[85]

[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

Dangerous folk these Freemasons be.

re: #194 jcm

I'm a friggin' light weight, one New Beligum Trippel at 7.8 and I'm a buzzin'.

A 20% I'd be under table before I finished it.

Nah, you'd handle it. I know you.

Well, sort of...

re: #195 Sharmuta

From the old Vlaams Belang thread:

Makes you wonder what Oktar reads when not writing islamic creationist books.

Are we being ripped off. I mean we get our Zionist checks, should we be getting Freemason checks too?

//

re: #200 taxfreekiller

ms tfk just came by,

bikini's panties and bra

nite nite

You lucky b**tard. Have fun.

re: #184 Lynn B.

I must protest. EmmieG is ahead of her class and deserves the credit. The satire is strong with this scrappleheaded one. Iowahawk her wares amongst the satirists of LGF lore.

Pundamentally speaking...

re: #201 realwest
PIMF: "Dangerous folk these Freemasons Be" is written by moi, not Wiki!

What will give the economy traction? Simple things will. The new economy is going to be all about simple things. Ingenuity will rule just like every other time like this.

And crazy as it sounds I think the USA's biggest advantage in the next world economy is that we had the most waste to cut, so it will be simpler for us to do.

re: #203 jcm

Isknay on the eckschay.

re: #196 mikalm

I know a couple of Burning Man fire dancers that might take you up on that one.

also for those who know

OT:

Jeff Dunham holiday special on Comedy Central now. Achmed the Dead Terrorist is on right now.

re: #199 Thanos

Did he do the secret handshakes too?
Or maybe it was these signs.

Texe Marrs is only for true kook connoisseurs btw, don't recommend him for most xtians either since he also attacks every televangelist that ever existed with regularity (they are all mini Antichrists)

He's also ferociously anti-Catholic. One of those equal-opportunity bigots.

re: #210 Dark_Falcon

Shut-up! I keeel you!

re: #200 taxfreekiller

ms tfk just came by,

bikini's panties and bra

nite nite
Burma shave

fixed

You know, I really miss Jerry Garcia.

re: #194 jcm

I had a couple Chimay Reds after work tonight. Damn, what a buzz.

Took me two bourbons to get my head straight again.

re: #205 Noam Sayin'

*blushing*

re: #209 swamprat

also for those who know

Too bad you can't post the clip from that movie of Britt Eklund knocking at the Inspector's bedroom door!

re: #200 taxfreekiller

ms tfk just came by,

bikini's panties and bra

nite nite

TMI!

re: #214 Shay4l

You know, I really miss Jerry Garcia.

Another Lizard Deadhead? Do you know Neocon Hippie?

re: #216 EmmmieG

That was a good riff, darlin. Own it.

re: #215 Noam Sayin'

I had a couple Chimay Reds after work tonight. Damn, what a buzz.

Took me two bourbons to get my head straight again.

That's why I don't drinking the wallopers like Chimay that often.

re: #208 Sharmuta

Isknay on the eckschay.

;-) gotcha!

re: #142 Occasional Reader

Don't forget to pick the Superbowl winners.

(But not the Buffalo Bills, of course.)

Detroit Lions?
/

re: #221 Shay4l

That's why I don't drinking the wallopers like Chimay that often.

That's easy for you to say.

re: #215 Noam Sayin'

I had a couple Chimay Reds after work tonight. Damn, what a buzz.

Took me two bourbons to get my head straight again.

LOL

The FNDT needs Music.

Don't you agree?

re: #211 mikalm

He's also ferociously anti-Catholic. One of those equal-opportunity bigots.

Yeah, Harun's blaming the Pope and the change from Kabala to Gnosis as creating Secular Humanism in Italy way back when in his PDF.

/it's the pope and da jooos!

re: #220 Noam Sayin'

I have one I'm saving for the next white supremacist thread. By the time I got it worked out in my head, the last thread was dead, so I'm holding on to it.

The Masonic/Illuminati conspiracy has kept knowledge of the space aliens away from the American public! And I have numerological proof!

The Roswell, New Mexico alien remains were moved from Hangar 18, in Wright-Patterson AFB near Dayton, Ohio, to Area 51, near Groom Lake Nevada.

And what is 51-18?

That's right, it's 33! The highest Masonic degree, and the only one that can be bestowed, but not earned.

Coincidence? I don't think so...(muttters darkly)

The human alien contact conspiracy of silence dates back farther than many are aware...all the way to one of their Presidential plants, and a widow's son-of-a-gun, Bohemian Grover Cleveland!

So Mote It Be! Remember the Four Powers of the Mage! Those who Know do not say, those who say do not Know.

And if you ever run into Hiram Abiff, run. Run like hell. That guy eats Cthulhu for breakfast.

May the Dead Rise and Smell the Incense! And when the government turns off the Sun, it is bad - very bad - to be caught outside your den. Your TV will report your absence.

(Now where did my thorazine and tinfoil get to? They're listening...I know they are. I have to dampen down the signals any way I can...)

re: #223 Ozark Mountain Daredevil

Detroit Lions?
/

The funniest ever parody of Freemasonry was the "Stonecutters" episode of The Simpsons. In it, the secret society that Homer joined sang this song:

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!

re: #217 mikalm

Too bad you can't post the clip from that movie of Britt Eklund knocking at the Inspector's bedroom door!

here

re: #228 EmmmieG

I have one I'm saving for the next white supremacist thread. By the time I got it worked out in my head, the last thread was dead, so I'm holding on to it.

Wow, some people are just over-achievers. I don't think about what I'm writing until two posts afterwords.

re: #229 Salamantis

Salamantis, you do realize that because you revealed that, I'm going to have to bury you headfirst in the mudflats of Lake Titicaca and have wolverines nibble you to death from the feet down?

re: #211 mikalm
Interesting, because Wiki also states

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (later Benedict Pope XVI), as the Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, issued Quaesitum est, which states: "...the Church’s negative judgment in regard to Masonic association remains unchanged since their principles have always been considered irreconcilable with the doctrine of the Church and therefore membership in them remains forbidden. The faithful who enroll in Masonic associations are in a state of grave sin and may not receive Holy Communion." Thus, from a Catholic perspective, there is still a ban on Catholics joining Masonic Lodges. For its part, Freemasonry has never objected to Catholics joining their fraternity. Those Grand Lodges in amity with UGLE deny the Church's claims and state that they explicitly adhere to the principle that "Freemasonry is not a religion, nor a substitute for religion."[27]

In contrast to Catholic allegations of rationalism and naturalism, Protestant objections are more likely to be based on allegations of mysticism, occultism, and even Satanism.[66] Masonic scholar Albert Pike is often quoted (in some cases misquoted) by Protestant anti-Masons as an authority for the position of Masonry on these issues. However, Pike, although undoubtedly learned, was not a spokesman for Freemasonry and was controversial among Freemasons in general, representing his personal opinion only, and furthermore an opinion grounded in the attitudes and understandings of late 19th century Southern Freemasonry of the USA alone. Indeed his book carries in the preface a form of disclaimer from his own Grand Lodge. No one voice has ever spoken for the whole of Freemasonry.[67]

Emphasis added, realwest.

re: #224 Noam Sayin'

That's easy for you to say.

Well, it was easy to type. The last time I drank Chimay it was in the late afternoon and I was asleep within an hour.

re: #228 EmmmieG

Some folks will write that stuff down.

With CheDub and I, it's, "Ready, Fire, Aim!"

re: #230 mikalm

Less we forget the initiation process:
CROSSING THE DESERT: Being paddled on the butt
THE UNBLINKING EYE: Same as Crossing the Desert, only in reverse order.
WRECK OF THE HESPERUS: Same as The Unblinking Eye.
THE PADDLING OF THE SWOLLEN ASS...WITH PADDLES: A paddling of the swollen ass...with paddles.

re: #138 Killian Bundy

Obama's Poet

Our soon to be president has chosen Elizabeth Alexander to write and read a poem for the inauguration. Alexander is a professor of African American studies at Yale.

/TFK writes better poetry

Blech ! ! !

re: #235 Shay4l

That's why you should always follow it up with bourbon, son.

re: #229 Salamantis

Is that you Louie?

re: #233 mikalm

Salamantis, you do realize that because you revealed that, I'm going to have to bury you headfirst in the mudflats of Lake Titicaca and have wolverines nibble you to death from the feet down?

Wolverines? In Peru/Bolivia? Yeah, right.

re: #7 mikalm

I'm a former Lodge Junior Deacon, as well as a 32nd Degree Scottish Rite Freemason and a York Rite Knight Templar. So I've pretty much seen the entire Masonic world from the inside, and know all the "secrets" (not revealing anything here, but they essentially concern how we identify ourselves to each other.)

My question for Mr. Yahya: How the hell can we Freemasons run the world, if we can't even figure out how much to charge dues for our members?

"To Be One Ask One"... can I join? Would you recommend me?

-- Fritz Katz

re: #241 Occasional Reader

Wolverines? In Peru/Bolivia? Yeah, right.

How bout chupacabras?

re: #9 Sean

Nirthers, Truthers, Bilderbergers, Freemasonry, ZOG...

When do I get to be in a conspiracy? It's just not fair!

Fnord.

re: #243 CheDub

How bout chupacabras?

Shhh! You want to receive Salamantis' treatment too?

re: #239 Noam Sayin'

Somehow, that post got me feeling like Foghorn Leghorn.

Are ya listenin' to me, Shay? I sa- I say, I keep a pitchin' 'em, and you keep a' missin' 'em.

Eyeball - joke, that is...

re: #243 CheDub
Yep, How bout them Chupacabras! They're 14-0 onliest unbeaten team in the NFL!

re: #239 Noam Sayin'

That's why you should always follow it up with bourbon, son.

Wish I had you around about '73 when I was larnin' to drink some.

re: #246 Noam Sayin'
HEY NOAM! How are ya my friend?

re: #243 CheDub

How bout chupacabras?

They don't exist. Everyone knows they don't exist. So don't be ridiculous.

/meet me around back in 5 minutes and bring cash don't forget to bring muzzles

re: #246 Noam Sayin'

Somehow, that post got me feeling like Foghorn Leghorn.

Are ya listenin' to me, Shay? I sa- I say, I keep a pitchin' 'em, and you keep a' missin' 'em.

Eyeball - joke, that is...

Ah -- my favorite Warner Brothers 'toon character!

On page 94 Harun gets to the Masonic meaning of the six pointed star...

re: #246 Noam Sayin'

*goes off to read a book*

re: #229 Salamantis

Hey. Leave Grover Cleveland out of it.

He was a Bourban Democrat. And we could use a few more of them. :)

A friend of the Devil is a . . .

Hi all. Home from all Christmas, all the time theatre (rescue me, only two more days of this). Are we still on subject?

Buenas noches.

Jerry may be gone, but he is still selling his ties.

Perfect for the well-dressed Lizard on your Christmas shopping list.

re: #248 Shay4l

Wish I had you around about '73 when I was larnin' to drink some.

I was ten. But I'm Irish, so I could have shown you a thing or two.

re: #257 Iron Fist

Me, I'm a Cold Lager Classical Liberal.

re: #257 Iron Fist

I guess Teddy K is a scotch Democrat. Does that make Obama an eight-ball Democrat?

Maybe a Screw Ball? Or a Red Russian?

re: #259 ggt

Jerry may be gone, but he is still selling his ties.

Perfect for the well-dressed Lizard on your Christmas shopping list.

A coworker of mine used to work for the Jerry Garcia estate. He's got some amusing anecdotes, including one about having to transport this huge hoard of unique, live Dead/JGB tapes for hundreds of miles...

re: #255 ggt

crossroads

re: #250 Occasional Reader

They don't exist. Everyone knows they don't exist. So don't be ridiculous.

/run little chupacabra, run!

re: #249 realwest

HEY NOAM! How are ya my friend?

Waitin' on your appearance, my brother. Got twisted up on a couple Belgian dupels after work, and trying to level off with a bourbon or two.

How much cannibus do the Belgians put in their beer, anyway?

re: #260 Noam Sayin'

I was ten. But I'm Irish, so I could have shown you a thing or two.

Irish?!?

No wonder you follow up your brew with whiskey.

You got it backwards, I say, you got it backwards, son!

bbib