The Two-Minute Hokey Pokey Hate

Weird | Sun, Dec 21, 2008 at 5:20:56 pm PST

The Hokey Pokey.

We’ve always known it as an expression of profound despair, in which all of existence, indeed, all of life itself, is reduced to a series of jerky ritualistic moves in a macabre nihilistic parody of “dance” ... culminating in a statement of ultimate bleak emptiness:

That’s what it’s all about.

And this horrific auto da fe, this twitching, wriggling choreomania of the damned, is now a hate crime. As well it should be.

According to the Catholic Church and some Scottish politicians, singing the popular tune that begins with the words “You put your right hand in, your right hand out,” may constitute an act of religious hatred.

A spokesman for the leader of the church in Scotland said the song had disturbing origins.

Critics claim that Puritans composed the song in the 18th century in an attempt to mock the actions and language of priests leading the Latin mass.

Now politicians have urged police to arrest anyone using the song to “taunt” Catholics under legislation designed to prevent incitement to religious hatred.

(Hat tip: Moi Aussi.)