Chirac Poodle Mauling Horrifies France

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Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being viciously mauled by his clinically depressed poodle named Sumo.

Nothing more need be said.

Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, in a dramatic incident that rattled the ex-president’s wife.

The couple’s white Maltese poodle, called Sumo, has a history of frenzied fits and became increasingly prone to making “vicious, unprovoked attacks” despite receiving treatment with anti-depressants, Chirac’s wife Bernadette said.

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459 comments
1 [deleted]  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:42:03pm
2 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:42:17pm

Weren't the Obama's considering a poodle?

3 notutopia  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:42:20pm

Smart dog! Clinically depressed so he can't be held accountable for his mauling...

4 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:42:32pm

Having been attacked by a poodle (may they all rot in hell), I am trying not to snicker.

5 Backstaber  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:42:32pm

Wow ... just wow.

6 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:42:47pm

Do men really own poodles?

7 NYCHardhat  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:42:58pm

We did save them in 2 World Wars. This doesn't surprise me.

8 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:43:02pm

re: #4 Creeping Eruption

Having been attacked by a poodle (may they all rot in hell), I am trying not to snicker.

May who all rot in hell?

9 SWPaul  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:43:18pm

Maybe Carter and Chirac could start a club for President's attacked by small, cute animals?

10 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:43:38pm

re: #6 loppyd

Do men really own poodles?

There are more dogs owned per capita in France than in any other country in the world.

11 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:43:44pm

re: #8 Walter L. Newton

May who all rot in hell?

All Poodles.

12 neomexicon  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:43:48pm

re: #6 loppyd

he's french.

13 solomonpanting  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:43:55pm
The couple's white Maltese poodle

There's the problem, right there. A French poodle would never be so vicious. Depressed, perhaps.

14 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:44:34pm

re: #10 Walter L. Newton

There are more dogs owned per capita in France than in any other country in the world.

Yeah, but a poodle? Seems like a sissy dog.

15 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:44:46pm

re: #12 neomexicon

he's french.

What the fuck does that mean. You've never seen a poodle owned my a man before?

16 Viking6  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:45:10pm

re: #6 loppyd

no real men, only Fwench Men

17 Silhouette  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:45:14pm

Poodle? Last night it was a Maltese.

18 steveeas  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:45:55pm

I bet he surrendered immediately.

19 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:45:58pm

re: #15 Walter L. Newton

What the fuck does that mean. You've never seen a poodle owned my a man before?

When I think poodle I think of Louis Vuiton pet carriers and pink bows in their fur.

I guess there are big poodles, too.

20 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:46:00pm

re: #14 loppyd

Yeah, but a poodle? Seems like a sissy dog.

Gosh, what you don't know about poodles...

"The Poodle is a breed of dog, and is regarded as one of the most intelligent breeds of dog.[1] The poodle breed is found in small, medium, and large sizes, and in many coat colors. Originally bred as a type of water dog, the poodle is skillful in many dog sports, including agility, obedience, tracking, and even herding. Poodles are elegant in the conformation ring, having taken top honors in many shows, including Best in Show (BIS) at the Westminster Kennel Club show in 2002 and BIS at the World Dog Show in 2007."

[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

21 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:46:31pm

re: #20 Walter L. Newton

Gosh, what you don't know about poodles...

"The Poodle is a breed of dog, and is regarded as one of the most intelligent breeds of dog.[1] The poodle breed is found in small, medium, and large sizes, and in many coat colors. Originally bred as a type of water dog, the poodle is skillful in many dog sports, including agility, obedience, tracking, and even herding. Poodles are elegant in the conformation ring, having taken top honors in many shows, including Best in Show (BIS) at the Westminster Kennel Club show in 2002 and BIS at the World Dog Show in 2007."

[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

see my #19

22 bulwrk  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:46:38pm

Sounds like a Monty Python skit.

23 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:46:48pm

re: #21 loppyd

see my #19

See my #20.

24 DEZes  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:46:56pm

He is Lucky there weren't two poodles, He may have had to use a white flag.

25 Silhouette  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:47:00pm

A poodle makes the story a little less humiliating than when I thought it was a Maltese. Those can be large dogs and are bred for hunting.

But although these aren't olden days, I still can't help thinking the leader of a country should be tough and a warrior. Not a guy who gets beat up by the family pet.

26 jones  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:47:42pm

I have always hated poodles, until today.

Video of the poodle marching through "The Arc de Complete Capitulation" at 6.

27 Killian Bundy  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:47:52pm

Hey, poodles are high strung and vicious biters.

/had one when I was a kid and they're not good with children

28 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:47:53pm

re: #23 Walter L. Newton

See my #20.

I did! You echoed what I was guessing - about them coming in many sizes.

29 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:06pm

re: #21 loppyd

see my #19

re: #23 Walter L. Newton

See my #20.

Ill see your #20, and raise you . . .

30 mikalm  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:11pm

The poodle bites!
(come on, frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(snap it!)
The poodle bites!
(come on, frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(snap it!)

Frank Zappa, "Dirty Love"

Youtube Video
31 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:13pm

re: #25 Silhouette

A poodle makes the story a little less humiliating than when I thought it was a Maltese. Those can be large dogs and are bred for hunting.

But although these aren't olden days, I still can't help thinking the leader of a country should be tough and a warrior. Not a guy who gets beat up by the family pet.

Beat up? The fucking dog bit him. Has that never happened to anyone before? Geeeessshhhh.

32 Cato the Elder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:19pm

Poor dog. Will he need rabies shots?

33 Silhouette  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:26pm

Image results for maltese poodle

34 newsjunkie_ky  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:32pm

Smart dog.

35 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:37pm

re: #29 Creeping Eruption

Ill see your #20, and raise you . . .

Fold.

36 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:45pm

re: #27 Killian Bundy

Hey, poodles are high strung and vicious biters.

/had one when I was a kid and they're not good with children

I never knew that. This is quite an education.

37 WhiteRasta  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:53pm

I was once bitten on my buttocks by a damn poodle.

It was all I could do to not drop-kick the little purse-rat through the front window...

Viscous little bastard.

38 Sheila Broflovski  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:56pm

My neighbors have two pit bulls and a yapping little maltese. The pits are fairly well behaved, but I really hate that fucking little hairball.

39 [deleted]  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:48:57pm
40 jones  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:04pm

The poodle now gets a shot a Jimmy Carter's rabbit for the belt.

41 blueroom127  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:11pm

The fact that their dog is being treated for depression is telling. Telling what though, I haven't made up my mind.

42 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:13pm

re: #27 Killian Bundy

Hey, poodles are high strung and vicious biters.

/had one when I was a kid and they're not good with children

I have the scars to prove it.

43 Silhouette  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:15pm

re: #31 Walter L. Newton

Beat up? The fucking dog bit him. Has that never happened to anyone before? Geeeessshhhh.

The article says "mauled." Take your beef up with them. Geeeeeessshhh.

44 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:19pm

C'mon y'all--french poodles were bred to be hunting dogs! Yes, it's true, that poodle just did what it's genes told it to do. Science! Genetics!

I'm MORE horrified liberals will repeat with the GITMO people what they've done in my neighborhood:

Sicced the rabid French/Moroccan (19th or 20th) September 11, 2001 hijacker Zacharias Moussaoui to scream in Virginia's courts for years, barking crazy Al Qaeda talk at civilian judges in our civilian legal system.

45 obscured by clouds  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:27pm

Get well soon, Sumo.

46 Killian Bundy  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:39pm

re: #14 loppyd

Yeah, but a poodle? Seems like a sissy dog.

/actually, they were first bred as hunting dogs

47 Cicero05  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:47pm

re: #19 loppyd

When I think poodle I think of Louis Vuiton pet carriers and pink bows in their fur.

I guess there are big poodles, too.

Yeah. Big MANLY poodles.

48 snopercod  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:51pm

Good dog!

49 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:56pm

re: #43 Silhouette

The article says "mauled." Take your beef up with them. Geeeeeessshhh.

I will :)

50 Cato the Elder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:49:58pm

re: #40 jones

The poodle now gets a shot a Jimmy Carter's rabbit for the belt.

Damn, you beat me to it!

51 dainn  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:50:08pm

In my experience, poodles are more vicious than other breeds. Like small dogs, poodles tend to be treated as "cute" when the express dominant behavior, so they turn into cute little terror machines.

I hope he's gets better and learns to manage his dog better than he managed his country.

52 jwb7605  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:50:19pm

re: #17 Silhouette

Poodle? Last night it was a Maltese.

First line of the article:

The couple's white Maltese poodle,


Itty bitty thing. Should have been stepped on long ago.
Although if I were a real Poodle (from the original German Pudle), and Chirac owned me, I probably would have killed him already.

53 Ringo the Gringo  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:50:42pm

This is from The Onion...right?

54 notutopia  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:50:44pm

Poodle Depression
[Link: en.allexperts.com...]

It appears poodles are prone genetically to Addison's disease which causes depression
[Link: www.poodleclubofamerica.org...]

55 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:50:49pm

re: #44 alegrias

C'mon y'all--french poodles were bred to be hunting dogs! Yes, it's true, that poodle just did what it's genes told it to do. Science! Genetics!

I'm MORE horrified liberals will repeat with the GITMO people what they've done in my neighborhood:

Sicced the rabid French/Moroccan (19th or 20th) September 11, 2001 hijacker Zacharias Moussaoui to scream in Virginia's courts for years, barking crazy Al Qaeda talk at civilian judges in our civilian legal system.

Nice segue, poodles to gitmo, WHAT?

56 Amer-I-Can  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:51:01pm

Sounds like time for the 9mm tranquilizer.... but that would just be because the dog is French.

57 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:51:08pm

re: #38 Alouette

My neighbors have two pit bulls and a yapping little maltese. The pits are fairly well behaved, but I really hate that fucking little hairball.

I live in Pit Bull central. Just last night I stopped at a convenience store and saw a woman tie up her pit 2 feet from the door and go inside the store. No way I was getting out of my car until she came out and left with the dog.

58 neomexicon  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:51:26pm

re: #15 Walter L. Newton

nope, not until today. it doesn't work out so well

59 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:51:28pm

re: #53 Ringo the Gringo

This is from The Onion...right?

No, but some of these comments are.

60 neomexicon  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:51:58pm

re: #53 Ringo the Gringo

exactly what i thought

61 Dainn  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:52:00pm

Maybe the poodle is a conservative.

62 Mezzetino  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:52:04pm

Moi, si j'etais son chien, j'en serais desole' moi aussi...

63 MAV  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:52:10pm
Does your dog bite? (Peter Sellers)

in one, two,... posts

64 jones  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:52:10pm

#50,

I was sweating to get it in.

An up-tick is still merited...

65 RedPepper  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:52:37pm

Over a thousand cars torched over New Years.
Barely a yawn.

This is what it takes to "horrify France"?

66 Throbert McGee  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:52:45pm

re: #25 Silhouette

A poodle makes the story a little less humiliating than when I thought it was a Maltese. Those can be large dogs and are bred for hunting.

Um, you might want to follow the link -- there's a photo of the dog, which stands about knee-high and must weigh under 20 lbs.

67 Age Of Freedom  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:52:53pm

Chiraq (spelled deliberately) must appease that dog the same way he did with Arafish. Apparently, anti-depressants and a lot of good care still didn't work. Now with Obama emitting the Nexus forcefield of peace, maybe things will change!

68 jwb7605  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:52:57pm

re: #44 alegrias

C'mon y'all--french poodles were bred to be hunting dogs! Yes, it's true, that poodle just did what it's genes told it to do. Science! Genetics!

I'm MORE horrified liberals will repeat with the GITMO people what they've done in my neighborhood:

Sicced the rabid French/Moroccan (19th or 20th) September 11, 2001 hijacker Zacharias Moussaoui to scream in Virginia's courts for years, barking crazy Al Qaeda talk at civilian judges in our civilian legal system.

GERMAN poodles were bred to be hunting (duck) dogs.
French and English ladies inbred and downsized them.

Toy Poodles need to be sent to GITMO.

69 debutaunt  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:04pm

re: #20 Walter L. Newton

Gosh, what you don't know about poodles...

"The Poodle is a breed of dog, and is regarded as one of the most intelligent breeds of dog.[1] The poodle breed is found in small, medium, and large sizes, and in many coat colors. Originally bred as a type of water dog, the poodle is skillful in many dog sports, including agility, obedience, tracking, and even herding. Poodles are elegant in the conformation ring, having taken top honors in many shows, including Best in Show (BIS) at the Westminster Kennel Club show in 2002 and BIS at the World Dog Show in 2007."

[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

When I was a kid, our neighbor had a blue male poodle that tried to have sex with my bike as I rode by.

70 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:05pm

Having now won my respect, I'm going to open a pet store specializing in poodles. It will be called Oodles O' Poodles.

71 Sizzlack  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:11pm

The story is funny as hell.

That said, WTF is going on when people are treating their dogs with medication instead of simply training them from the start. Training a dog is not easy, and it can be time consuming but if you are going to own a dog it is your responsibility to train it properly, not just dope it up on meds when it attacks you. My dog would never ever ever attack me. And I would never ever ever give him anti depressants.

72 bulwrk  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:12pm

re: #61 Dainn

There are reports that the poodle was seen leaving a Paris mosque recently.

73 newsjunkie_ky  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:17pm

Had an American Eskimo that the Vet put on valium for two years. It was the only way to get her to listen to me. I was able then to use behavior modification and she was able to go off the pills. She loved the family but strangers were not welcome.
He probably mistreated the dog.

74 solomonpanting  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:26pm

Chirac Poodle Mauling Horrifies France

Sure doesn't take much to horrify France. Perhaps some vicious hookers?

75 Soona'  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:29pm

re: #6 loppyd

Do men really own poodles?

Fwench men do.

76 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:43pm

re: #63 MAV

in one, two,... posts

"No" (bites the good inspector)
"I thought you said that you're dog did not bite"

"That is not my dog"

77 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:53:53pm

re: #41 blueroom127

The fact that their dog is being treated for depression is telling. Telling what though, I haven't made up my mind.

* * * *
Many pets that don't get enough exercise or companionship, become clinically depressed.

These formerly working animals deserve better than being bored lap-dogs! They're bored out of their minds.

78 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:09pm

re: #59 Walter L. Newton

No, but some of these comments are.

Walter, do you have a poodle?

I'm sorry if you are offended.

My dog growing up was a big, slobbery and kind of dumb black Lab. I don't feel the love for smaller dogs because he is what I was exposed to.

79 Silhouette  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:10pm

re: #52 jwb7605

Yeah, I was thinking that a Maltese poodle would be bigger than a plain Maltese, at least.

80 Boxy_brown  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:10pm

Poodle vs pussy...

Poodle for the win.

81 AuntAcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:15pm

re: #10 Walter L. Newton

There are more dogs owned per capita in France than in any other country in the world.

...and in Paris the dog owners are revealing their rebellious side by not picking up the poo so the sidewalks are a little hazardous.

82 Taqiyyotomist  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:26pm

re: #70 Occasional Reader

Having now won my respect, I'm going to open a pet store specializing in poodles. It will be called Oodles O' Poodles.

You could also sell pasta...just sayin'.

83 Bloodnok  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:29pm

May I be the first to welcome the new "Bad Dog" tag to LGF... (LMAO)

84 Sheila Broflovski  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:35pm

re: #57 loppyd

I live in Pit Bull central. Just last night I stopped at a convenience store and saw a woman tie up her pit 2 feet from the door and go inside the store. No way I was getting out of my car until she came out and left with the dog.

Neighbors on both sides of me own large dogs. I think I'll get a cat.

85 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:41pm

The Maltese Poodle... didn't that star Bogart?

86 ryannon  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:54:51pm

Ze troof of the matter is that this has received very little to NO mention by the French MSM.

I can't imagine why, but that's the way it is....

/

87 DeafDog  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:55:16pm

re: #70 Occasional Reader

Having now won my respect, I'm going to open a pet store specializing in poodles. It will be called Oodles O' Poodles.

Ya know, you could also serve Korean cuisine with a name like that.

/just thinking business

88 Silhouette  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:55:18pm

re: #66 Throbert McGee

The key word being "less." 20 lbs is better than 3. :-)

89 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:55:39pm

re: #84 Alouette

Neighbors on both sides of me own large dogs. I think I'll get a cat.

Don't be doing crazy things like that.

90 jwb7605  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:55:40pm

re: #79 Silhouette

Yeah, I was thinking that a Maltese poodle would be bigger than a plain Maltese, at least.

I honestly didn't know there was such a thing as a Maltese poodle.

I want another standard. Black one.

91 Soona'  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:55:57pm

re: #66 Throbert McGee

Um, you might want to follow the link -- there's a photo of the dog, which stands about knee-high and must weigh under 20 lbs.

I always thought that Chirac and Jimmah C. (of man-eating rabbit fame) had something in common. Animals hate them too.

92 Amer-I-Can  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:55:59pm

re: #65 RedPepper

Over a thousand cars torched over New Years.
Barely a yawn.

This is what it takes to "horrify France"?

Mortifying, absolutely mortifying... the crown jewel of France disgraced in such a manner... to the guillotine with the offender!

93 maddogg  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:00pm

My Mother had one of those clinically depressed poodles. He was sick all the time. Cost my Dad a fortune. Little bastard was vicious and was convinced he could whip my German Shepard. He went from clinically depressed to clinically dead in under a minute.

94 Cato the Elder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:12pm

Bush's dog bit a journalist. Chirac's dog bit him.

Dogs are damn smart.

95 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:17pm

re: #54 notutopia

Poodle Depression
[Link: en.allexperts.com...]

It appears poodles are prone genetically to Addison's disease which causes depression
[Link: www.poodleclubofamerica.org...]

* * *
John F. Kennedy had Addison's Disease!

96 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:18pm

re: #63 MAV

Sorry, I have to correct your spelling:

Does your daahg baaht? (Peter Sellers)

97 LGoPs  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:24pm

I am so sick and tired of pissed-off, mauling Muslims.....er, I mean poddles. Sorry.....
/

98 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:28pm

re: #93 maddogg

LOL

99 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:28pm

re: #31 Walter L. Newton

Walt - I think the point was poodles (rightly or wrongly) have a reputation of being froo froo dogs, so the "vicious" attack is silly, and makes Jaques Chirac look like he is low on his testosterone levels. Couple that with treating the dog for depression (group therapy?) and it's even sillier. If you replaced "poodle" with "Rottweiler" and delete the depression treatment, you get a different reaction.

100 Ringo the Gringo  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:45pm

Not even a Standard Poodle, but a Maltese Poodle.

What kind of a man cannot fend himself off from a Maltese Poodle attack?

...Nevermind, don't bother answering that question.

101 ryannon  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:50pm

re: #81 AuntAcid

...and in Paris the dog owners are revealing their rebellious side by not picking up the poo so the sidewalks are a little hazardous.

It's quite the opposite: the dog owners are systematically cleaning up after their dogs: stiff fines if they don't.

It used to be as you described, but that's changed in the last few years.

102 LGoPs  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:55pm

re: #97 LGoPs

I am so sick and tired of pissed-off, mauling Muslims.....er, I mean poddles. Sorry.....
/

And poodles too....dammit.
PIMF

103 AuntAcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:56:56pm

re: #80 Boxy_brown

Poodle vs pussy...

Poodle for the win.

re: #80 Boxy_brown

Poodle vs pussy...

Poodle for the win.

Which one looks better shaved?

104 Maximu§  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:57:11pm

Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, in a dramatic incident

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

A friends poodle bit me once and I kicked it across the room. After that it hid whenever I walked in the house.

105 Cicero05  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:57:17pm

re: #69 debutaunt

When I was a kid, our neighbor had a blue male poodle that tried to have sex with my bike as I rode by.


C'est amour, mon petit chien

106 notutopia  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:57:31pm

Hm...I wonder where Chirac got the bite?
Wife didn't say...
Is Chirac gently walking stooped over today?
Dogs go for the closest appendage of their adversaries weakness.

107 Cheese Eating Victory Monkey  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:57:33pm

Is this an article from The Onion?
I suggest holding an emergency session of the UN Security Council.

/sarc

108 Spare O'Lake  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:57:40pm

What's this about a poodle mauling a frog?

109 Son of the Black Dog  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:57:43pm

This is from the Onion, right? Right?

110 Steve Rogers  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:57:44pm

I'd be depressed too if I lived in France.

111 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:11pm

re: #78 loppyd

Walter, do you have a poodle?

I'm sorry if you are offended.

My dog growing up was a big, slobbery and kind of dumb black Lab. I don't feel the love for smaller dogs because he is what I was exposed to.

Well, no (although my mom, when she was alive, had many over the years). It's just I see Lizards using this as an opportunity to dump on the French, which is silly. Dogs bite, all dogs, and sometimes they do it to their owners.

This has nothing to do with being a "French" thing. I don't mind a good joke, but I notice that a lot of commenters on LGF take some sort of thrill in dumping on the French.

112 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:14pm

re: #55 Walter L. Newton

Nice segue, poodles to gitmo, WHAT?

* * *
Pardonez moi.

Ze french rabid dog Moussaoui and his fellow terrorists who bit America, and are about to be freed into America, it makes me a leetle, how you say, crazy?

113 Taqiyyotomist  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:25pm

If I were in France and had a dog, I'd clean up after him, gladly...
...with pages from a certain book.

114 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:28pm

re: #81 AuntAcid

...and in Paris the dog owners are revealing their rebellious side by not picking up the poo so the sidewalks are a little hazardous.

I'm not in Paris, but that happens occasionally around my house. I promptly get out a shovel and return the present little fido left on my lawn to its rightful owner - right on their front doorstep.

115 Vinnie  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:31pm

My FIL was carrying mail one day and got bit by a poodle. He kicked it across the street until it croaked.

That's how real men handle poodles that bite.

116 jwb7605  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:45pm

re: #106 notutopia

Hm...I wonder where Chirac got the bite?
Wife didn't say...
Is Chirac gently walking stooped over today?
Dogs go for the closest appendage of their adversaries weakness.

Both of the sheepdogs I've had tend to go for the ribcage, or belly.

117 reine.de.tout  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:48pm

re: #63 MAV

in one, two,... posts

That'sa not mah daaahg.

118 opnion  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:55pm

re: #100 Ringo the Gringo

Not even a Standard Poodle, but a Maltese Poodle.

What kind of a man cannot fend himself off from a Maltese Poodle attack?

...Nevermind, don't bother answering that question.


Your not kidding, thats what they look like?
Ah mon ami ze poodle was le viscious animal!

119 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:58:56pm

re: #54 notutopia

I lost my Jack Russell Terrorist to Addison's. I LOVED that dog. He was too smart for his own good. If he didn't have a job, he made one up. His favorite method of self employment was "interior designer" with pillows from upstairs downstairs, couch cushions all over. Decorative pillows that didn't cooperate faced certain death with their stuffing pulled out.

120 JammieWearingFool  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:11pm

Best. Story. Ever.

121 bulwrk  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:15pm

re: #69 debutaunt

When I was a kid, our neighbor had a blue male poodle that tried to have sex with my bike as I rode by.

pedalfile poodle

122 notutopia  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:20pm

re: #95 alegrias

* * *
John F. Kennedy had Addison's Disease!

Yeah, but he didn't bite the hand that fed him.
Did he?

123 Cicero05  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:25pm

Gone are the days when gallant French men would taunt Maltese poodles and fart in their general direction.

*sigh*

124 wrenchwench  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:32pm

re: #93 maddogg

My Mother had one of those clinically depressed poodles. He was sick all the time. Cost my Dad a fortune. Little bastard was vicious and was convinced he could whip my German Shepard. He went from clinically depressed to clinically dead in under a minute.


I have new respect for the nic.

125 Ringo the Gringo  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:33pm

Charles, Here is a photograph of a Maltese Poodle. You might want to add it to the post to help illustrate the seriousness of the attack.

126 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:35pm

re: #99 ArmyWife

Walt - I think the point was poodles (rightly or wrongly) have a reputation of being froo froo dogs, so the "vicious" attack is silly, and makes Jaques Chirac look like he is low on his testosterone levels. Couple that with treating the dog for depression (group therapy?) and it's even sillier. If you replaced "poodle" with "Rottweiler" and delete the depression treatment, you get a different reaction.

Why, dogs bite, dogs do stupid things, they get made, they maul. Why is this so unusual? I think the article itself is stupid. What if this happened to Bush, would we be making fun of it?

127 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:39pm

re: #66 Throbert McGee

Um, you might want to follow the link -- there's a photo of the dog, which stands about knee-high and must weigh under 20 lbs.

Look, that poodle's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!

(hat tip: "Tim")

128 AuntAcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:42pm

re: #101 ryannon

It's quite the opposite: the dog owners are systematically cleaning up after their dogs: stiff fines if they don't.

It used to be as you described, but that's changed in the last few years.

Then there is hope for the world.

129 LGoPs  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:53pm

Next time the Germans decide to attack France, they'll all need to wear poodle costumes.......

130 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 2:59:57pm

re: #112 alegrias

* * *
Pardonez moi.

Ze french rabid dog Moussaoui and his fellow terrorists who bit America, and are about to be freed into America, it makes me a leetle, how you say, crazy?

No, stupid.

131 HelloDare  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:00:12pm

I know some people who had a pit bull on hormone replacement therapy.

Talk about a ticking bomb.

132 JammieWearingFool  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:00:18pm

re: #111 Walter L. Newton

Well, no (although my mom, when she was alive, had many over the years). It's just I see Lizards using this as an opportunity to dump on the French, which is silly. Dogs bite, all dogs, and sometimes they do it to their owners.

This has nothing to do with being a "French" thing. I don't mind a good joke, but I notice that a lot of commenters on LGF take some sort of thrill in dumping on the French.

Indeed, we do enjoy dumping on the French. They've earned our scorn.

133 redc1c4  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:00:19pm

re: #65 RedPepper

Over a thousand cars torched over New Years.
Barely a yawn.

This is what it takes to "horrify France"?

because they don't know who to surrender to....

134 mean Gene  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:00:19pm

Poodles do get like that.
We had one that was so jealous that it would run, biting and growling after my husband every morning as hubby was leaving the house to go to work.
We had to shut him out of the bedroom for obvious reasons.
Finally he got so bad we had to give him to a woman who lived alone....no competition.
They were great together!
He didn't even act like he knew me when I went to see them a month later.

135 Soona'  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:00:29pm

re: #103 AuntAcid

Which one looks better shaved?

Uhmmm.

136 RedPepper  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:00:36pm

re: #110 Steve Rogers

I'd be depressed too if I lived in France.

I'd be depressed if I had to live with Jaques Chirac.

137 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:00:40pm

re: #126 Walter L. Newton

Why, dogs bite, dogs do stupid things, they get made, they maul. Why is this so unusual? I think the article itself is stupid. What if this happened to Bush, would we be making fun of it?

No we would be making fun of the secret service guy who had to draw and ventilate the dog before it reached him.

138 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:01:08pm

re: #132 JammieWearingFool

Indeed, we do enjoy dumping on the French. They've earned our scorn.

Well, what do all of our French Lizards think about that...

Crickets...

139 Killian Bundy  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:01:13pm

re: #99 ArmyWife

Walt - I think the point was poodles (rightly or wrongly) have a reputation of being froo froo dogs, so the "vicious" attack is silly

Have you ever owned a poodle? They snap at the drop of a hat!

/you need to watch for the subtle upper lip curl

140 solomonpanting  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:01:17pm

re: #3 notutopia

Smart dog! Clinically depressed so he can't be held accountable for his mauling...

Under France's health care system, the poodle will recieve immediate lifetime counseling, support and doggie treats while Chirac must wait three months for treatment.

141 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:01:26pm

re: #4 Creeping Eruption

Having been attacked by a poodle (may they all rot in hell), I am trying not to snicker.

Sorry, I have seven poodles. Only one is crazy, and he is only a toy. But he doesn't bite.

Can't seem to face that Jacques Chirac
I use my leg to scratch my back
Can't sleep till I turn around
Don't touch me, I'm a crazy hound
Psycho poodle, woof woof woof

142 newsjunkie_ky  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:01:56pm

re: #115 Vinnie

My FIL was carrying mail one day and got bit by a poodle. He kicked it across the street until it croaked.

That's how real men handle poodles that bite.


I do not like this at all. Nor do I like the tone of some of the other commenters.

143 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:01:58pm

re: #126 Walter L. Newton

Well...I laughed when Barney bit the reporter, sooo....

144 redc1c4  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:02:08pm

re: #114 Creeping Eruption

I'm not in Paris, but that happens occasionally around my house. I promptly get out a shovel and return the present little fido left on my lawn to its rightful owner - right on their front doorstep.

in a burning paper bag?

145 debutaunt  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:02:18pm

re: #115 Vinnie

My FIL was carrying mail one day and got bit by a poodle. He kicked it across the street until it croaked.

That's how real men handle poodles that bite.

If it was a blue perverted male poodle, I'm smiling a little.

146 the_flying_pig  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:02:24pm

Quick, somebody get a lawyer for the poodle!

147 irongrampa  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:02:27pm

Trying (vainly) to imagine Wonder Lab EVER biting ANYONE. Just can't picture it.

148 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:02:28pm

re: #111 Walter L. Newton

but I notice that a lot of commenters on LGF take some sort of thrill in dumping on the French.

I simply can't imagine why anyone would want to do such a thing.

/

149 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:02:59pm

re: #144 redc1c4

in a burning paper bag?

No, not anymore. I used to do that as a kid though; my mom taught me that one - no kidding.

150 JammieWearingFool  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:03:18pm

re: #138 Walter L. Newton

Well, what do all of our French Lizards think about that...

Crickets...

French Lizards are OK. It's the leftists I loathe.

151 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:03:20pm

re: #81 AuntAcid

...and in Paris the dog owners are revealing their rebellious side by not picking up the poo so the sidewalks are a little hazardous.

No, very hazardous.

152 debutaunt  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:03:29pm

re: #121 bulwrk

pedalfile poodle

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA

153 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:03:53pm

re: #139 Killian Bundy

Actually, yes. A German poodle named Daisy. She was black, so that name made sense. She wasn't depressed every and played a mean game of soccer. But I said "reputation" as being a froo froo dog. Heck, I own 2 chihuahuas, I freely admit they are sissy dogs! They aren't mean though, they have the happiest feet in the world.

154 Soona'  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:03:59pm

re: #126 Walter L. Newton

Why, dogs bite, dogs do stupid things, they get made, they maul. Why is this so unusual? I think the article itself is stupid. What if this happened to Bush, would we be making fun of it?

But it didn't happen to Bush.

155 [deleted]  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:04:00pm
156 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:04:00pm

re: #148 Occasional Reader

I simply can't imagine why anyone would want to do such a thing./

Must be the weather.

157 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:04:13pm

re: #84 Alouette

Neighbors on both sides of me own large dogs. I think I'll get a cat.

* * *
Anyone see where a tv personality from liberal CNN or other channel, Soledad O'Brien, is trying to get a big dog evicted from her NYC coop?

That big old mastiff was on Fox & Friends cable this am, with its owners, appealing to be allowed to stay.

158 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:04:25pm

"Does your dog bite?"

"No, my dog does not bite."

Ferocious attack

"I thought your dog does not bite."

"That is not my dog."

159 opnion  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:04:30pm

re: #104 Maximu§

Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, in a dramatic incident

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

A friends poodle bit me once and I kicked it across the room. After that it hid whenever I walked in the house.

I was taking a walk with my daaughter around a pond at work when she was probably about four. A swan tried to attack her. I teed that sucker up & place kicked it.
Whenever I would go for a run around the pond after that, the thing would wave it's head like a snake & hissed, but would stay away.
Perhaps I should consult to Chirac.

160 goddessoftheclassroom  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:04:31pm

re: #142 newsjunkie_ky

I do not like this at all. Nor do I like the tone of some of the other commenters.

{newsjunkie_ky}
Please forgive me if this question causes you pain, but how are things with your stepfather?

161 freetoken  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:04:33pm

Google Image results for Maltese Poodle

They look so cute... and small...

162 LGoPs  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:04:50pm

re: #138 Walter L. Newton

Well, what do all of our French Lizards think about that...

Crickets...

Are there any French lizards?

163 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:05:02pm

re: #111 Walter L. Newton

Well, no (although my mom, when she was alive, had many over the years). It's just I see Lizards using this as an opportunity to dump on the French, which is silly. Dogs bite, all dogs, and sometimes they do it to their owners.

This has nothing to do with being a "French" thing. I don't mind a good joke, but I notice that a lot of commenters on LGF take some sort of thrill in dumping on the French.

Oh, Walter. The poking fun is at the stereotypes - we didn't create them. French men are often portrayed as wussies and Poodles are commonly thought of as prissy. And, Chirac, IMHO, is a despicable person, So when a clinically depressed poodle bites him I get a bang out of it.

I'm part French, BTW and take no offense whatsoever.

164 redc1c4  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:05:15pm

re: #142 newsjunkie_ky

I do not like this at all. Nor do I like the tone of some of the other commenters.

not in favor of killing the dog, but i have no problem with establishing that I'M the alpha male, nor with poetic license....

165 HelloDare  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:05:17pm

Has anybody brought up these '50's icons. Poodle Skirts.

166 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:05:21pm

re: #162 LGoPs

Are there any French lizards?

Moi.

167 gmsc  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:05:35pm

According to later reports, Chirac submitted to the attack, and is now producing machinery for the poodle.

168 jwb7605  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:05:35pm

re: #134 mean Gene

Poodles do get like that.
We had one that was so jealous that it would run, biting and growling after my husband every morning as hubby was leaving the house to go to work.
We had to shut him out of the bedroom for obvious reasons.
Finally he got so bad we had to give him to a woman who lived alone....no competition.
They were great together!
He didn't even act like he knew me when I went to see them a month later.

I had a standard poodle in high school -- great dog.
Then I went into the Navy.
While I was overseas, my parents told me somebody stole her.
The dog was gone for about 3 weeks, and one day a car pulled up, the dog got out, and that was that.
When I got out of the service, the poodle somehow realized the return was permanent. She jumped in my car, and never looked back.

True story.

169 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:05:58pm

re: #165 HelloDare

Has anybody brought up these '50's icons. Poodle Skirts.

I have a great pic of my mom wearing one!

170 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:06:10pm

Looks like George Bush had one of those macho dogs... a Scottish Terrier... and it bit a reporter.

Got to do something about that.

[Link: www.smh.com.au...]

171 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:06:46pm

re: #94 Cato the Elder

Bush's dog bit a journalist. Chirac's dog bit him.

Dogs are damn smart.

* * * *
Very Funny! I wonder can one still see his Barneycam footage somewhere? My elderly mother would be amused by seeing the Bush dogs' antics.

172 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:06:59pm

What's the opposite of a "standard" poodle? An automatic poodle?

173 newsjunkie_ky  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:07:00pm

re: #160 goddessoftheclassroom

{newsjunkie_ky}
Please forgive me if this question causes you pain, but how are things with your stepfather?


He is doing pretty good now and they move him to a nursing home. He is tough.
Thanks for asking.

174 the_flying_pig  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:07:10pm

re: #94 Cato the Elder

That mean dogs can easily spot wussies and weasels?

175 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:07:18pm

re: #172 Occasional Reader

What's the opposite of a "standard" poodle? An automatic poodle?

And they cost more.

176 greenmamba  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:07:41pm

FRUNOBULAX..

HERE COMES THAT POODLE DOG!
BIG AS A BLIMP WITH A RHINESTONE COLLAR
SNAPPIN' OFF THE TREES
LIKE THEY WAS BONSAI'D ORNAMENTS ON A
DRY-WOBBLE LANDSCAPE
KEEP IT AWAY! DON'T LET THE POODLE BITE ME!
WE CAN'T LET IT REPRODUCE! OH!
SOMEBODY GET OUT THE PANTS!

.... and we know Chirac loves hot dogs. Now try telling me Frankie wasn't the reincarnation of Nostradamus.

177 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:07:42pm

re: #163 loppyd

Oh, Walter. The poking fun is at the stereotypes - we didn't create them. French men are often portrayed as wussies and Poodles are commonly thought of as prissy. And, Chirac, IMHO, is a despicable person, So when a clinically depressed poodle bites him I get a bang out of it.

I'm part French, BTW and take no offense whatsoever.

What if someone here made some black stereotypical comment. How would that fly?

178 jwb7605  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:01pm

re: #174 the_flying_pig

That mean dogs can easily spot wussies and weasels?


Like that.

179 Spare O'Lake  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:02pm

Ze dog she maybe lost it when Jacques he was giving her ze Fwensh kiss.
*mumble*
*mumble*

180 Charles Johnson  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:04pm

re: #148 Occasional Reader

I simply can't imagine why anyone would want to do such a thing./

Well, speaking for myself, I've spent quite a bit of time in France.

181 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:07pm

re: #170 Walter L. Newton

Did you see my 143? I thought that was funny. I love Barney. He is a hoot.

182 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:12pm

re: #177 Walter L. Newton

What if someone here made some black stereotypical comment. How would that fly?

You can't be serious.

183 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:20pm

re: #163 loppyd

The poking fun is at the stereotypes - we didn't create them.

I am resolutely opposed to poking fun at stereotypes.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have eleven gallons of Guinness.

184 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:23pm

This needs a standalone post
In honor of the dog:

Psycho Poodle

Can't seem to face that Jacques Chirac
I use my leg to scratch my back
Can't sleep till I turn around
Don't touch me, I'm a crazy hound
Psycho poodle, woof woof woof

185 pat  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:28pm

Put the bastard to sleep. Then find the dog a better home.

186 OldLineTexan  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:33pm

re: #170 Walter L. Newton

Looks like George Bush had one of those macho dogs... a Scottish Terrier... and it bit a reporter.

Got to do something about that.

[Link: www.smh.com.au...]

Is that the dog that defended itself against a reporter? Smart dog, LOL.

In any case, Scotties and terriers in general are little killing machines. And some Scotties are not so little. My rat terrier thinks he is a 100 lb Rottweiler.

And we have poodles, too, although neither is medicated (yet). I am in some serious danger.

187 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:36pm

My mother's poodle loved to sleep in the in shade behind my car tire.

Since the dog had epilepsy I told my mom that I think the dog was trying to kill herself.

I did roll over her, twice. The first time she lived, but had a twisted leg that didn't heal.

The second time it was au revior.

188 Digital Display  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:40pm

re: #138 Walter L. Newton

Well, what do all of our French Lizards think about that...

Crickets...

Walter...This year when i visit the Amsterdam office I'm taking a weekend in Paris..I've always wanted to go there..
Any cool places I MUST visit? Besides the usual places.

189 freetoken  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:49pm

re: #175 loppyd

And they cost more.

And... they get poorer gas mileage, unless you get the electronically controlled model.

190 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:51pm

re: #122 notutopia

Yeah, but he didn't bite the hand that fed him.
Did he?

* * * *
JFK snorted blow while President, with his brother in law Peter Lawford, according to Frank Sinatra's butler, George Jacobs, in a 2003 book entitled "Mr. S"~

191 RedPepper  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:08:53pm

I blame Chirac.

He should have rolled over on his back, whimpered loudly, and urinated on himself at the first sign of trouble.

192 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:09:01pm

re: #175 loppyd

And they cost more.

But the standard poodles get better mileage, and it's easier to control them in snow.

193 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:09:04pm

re: #177 Walter L. Newton

I am thinking that you are purposely causing havoc with this thread. Method acting?

194 jwb7605  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:09:16pm

re: #185 pat

Put the bastard to sleep. Then find the dog a better home.

Zing!

195 FloridaAnole  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:09:29pm

If you were Jacques Chirac's poodle, you'd be psycho and on anti-depressants, too.

196 Charles Johnson  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:09:39pm

Neo-Nazis cleaning up the trash.

Traffic passes by an Adopt-A-Highway sign along U.S. Highway 160 in Springfield, Mo., Thursday, Jan. 22, 2009. A neo-Nazi group,the Springfield unit of the National Socialist Movement, recently volunteered to clean up trash along a half-mile stretch of roadway on Springfield's west side.

One of those days.

197 OldLineTexan  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:09:43pm

re: #172 Occasional Reader

What's the opposite of a "standard" poodle? An automatic poodle?

A standard poodle believes that the right to keep and bear arms is an individual right.

A revisionist poodle believes that it is a "group" right granted to the States.

Revisionist poodles piss me off to no end.

198 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:09:44pm

re: #189 freetoken

And... they get poorer gas mileage, unless you get the electronically controlled model.

I think that is a Bichon Friseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

199 Adrenalyn  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:10:14pm

Jimmy Carter can offer condolences

maybe a bunny-gram would cheer him up

200 ryannon  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:10:18pm

re: #126 Walter L. Newton

Why, dogs bite, dogs do stupid things, they get made, they maul. Why is this so unusual? I think the article itself is stupid. What if this happened to Bush, would we be making fun of it?

Chiraq is no Bush.

201 LGoPs  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:10:22pm

re: #185 pat

Put the bastard to sleep. Then find the dog a better home.

ROFLMAO......excellent.....
:)

202 goddessoftheclassroom  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:10:23pm

re: #173 newsjunkie_ky

He is doing pretty good now and they move him to a nursing home. He is tough.
Thanks for asking.

Oh, I'm so glad! I know the outlook was bleak a few days ago.

203 [deleted]  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:10:38pm
204 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:10:41pm

re: #182 loppyd

You can't be serious.

No I am not. It seems like you were saying that playing around with French stereotypes is permissible. So, I was just wondering if other racial stereotypical humor was ok, like about blacks?

If I misunderstood you, then please clue me in.

205 opnion  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:10:47pm

re: #143 ArmyWife

Well...I laughed when Barney bit the reporter, sooo....

Good dog, Barney!

206 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:10:48pm

re: #196 Charles

Neo-Nazis cleaning up the trash.


One of those days.

I see that as an opportunity, personally.

Shame I'm not in that area, with lots of dirty diapers on hand.

207 CapeCoddah  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:05pm

Good afternoon everyone!
If that idiot were my owner, I would be depressed too. (I do hope the former president is ok). I love my Cattle dog and Mastiff more every time I hear a story like this. Our little granddaughter is safe as can be with both of them. They also guard her like hawks. Both very gentle creatures.

208 newsjunkie_ky  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:06pm

re: #164 redc1c4

not in favor of killing the dog, but i have no problem with establishing that I'M the alpha male, nor with poetic license....


People should be the alpha in their household. I'm training Izzy now. She is a Pek-a-poo. Baby Granddaughter was on the floor playing and Izzy thought that was grand. I was right there with both of them. Granddaughter got a hold of Izzy fur right by her mouth. Izzy didn't do a thing. I intervened immediately. As good as Izzy is with her (7 months) I would never leave them alone.
I still believe that French creep was NOT kind to the dog.

209 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:08pm

re: #192 Occasional Reader

But the standard poodles get better mileage, and it's easier to control them in snow.

Automatic poodles don't roll backwards down steep hills.

210 WhiteRasta  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:15pm

re: #196 Charles

OOOH, I can't imagine some of the nasty stuff people must throw on that stretch of highway.

211 wrenchwench  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:21pm

re: #196 Charles

Neo-Nazis cleaning up the trash.

One of those days.

Isn't that akin to cannibalism?

212 Soona'  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:34pm

re: #163 loppyd

Oh, Walter. The poking fun is at the stereotypes - we didn't create them. French men are often portrayed as wussies and Poodles are commonly thought of as prissy. And, Chirac, IMHO, is a despicable person, So when a clinically depressed poodle bites him I get a bang out of it.

I'm part French, BTW and take no offense whatsoever.

I'm part French too. No. No I'm not.

213 Cicero05  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:44pm

re: #204 Walter L. Newton

No I am not. It seems like you were saying that playing around with French stereotypes is permissible. So, I was just wondering if other racial stereotypical humor was ok, like about blacks?

Since when did "French" become a race?

214 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:47pm

re: #196 Charles

Neo-Nazis cleaning up the trash.

One of those days.

Doing the civil service volunteer work that Obama says is too important to fail.

215 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:11:51pm

re: #204 Walter L. Newton

playing around with French stereotypes is permissible. So, I was just wondering if other racial


"French" is a race?

216 notutopia  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:12:03pm

re: #190 alegrias

* * * *
JFK snorted blow while President, with his brother in law Peter Lawford, according to Frank Sinatra's butler, George Jacobs, in a 2003 book entitled "Mr. S"~

Well, I don't recall that drug being on the treatment list for Addison's disease.

217 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:12:08pm

re: #204 Walter L. Newton

No I am not. It seems like you were saying that playing around with French stereotypes is permissible. So, I was just wondering if other racial stereotypical humor was ok, like about blacks?

If I misunderstood you, then please clue me in.

Are you calling the French a race?

Lighten up, Francis.

218 pingjockey  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:12:14pm

re: #196 Charles
Maybe they'll throw themselves out with the rest of the garbage?

219 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:12:15pm

re: #196 Charles

Neo-Nazis cleaning up the trash.

One of those days.

I hope no Jews have car trouble on that stretch of the highway while they're there.

220 irongrampa  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:12:30pm

re: #180 Charles

Charles, did you find the people in the countryside much nicer than the people in the metro areas?
I found this to be the case,even as long ago as my visit.

221 SpaceJesus  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:12:53pm

words cannot describe the joy this story brings me right now

222 Dustyvet  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:12:54pm

Is there a French word for Honco?

223 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:13:16pm

re: #217 loppyd

Are you calling the French a race?

A funny race, if that old bit of doggerel is correct.

224 AuntAcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:13:22pm

re: #204 Walter L. Newton

No I am not. It seems like you were saying that playing around with French stereotypes is permissible. So, I was just wondering if other racial stereotypical humor was ok, like about blacks?

If I misunderstood you, then please clue me in.


Zee French are a race? I deed not know zhat.

225 Adrenalyn  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:13:27pm

isn't there a piece of Hwy in Ca where the Minutemen were denied the right to do trash pickup

but down the road, La Raza or someone of the sort was allowed to ?

226 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:13:35pm

re: #222 Dustyvet

Is there a French word for Honco?

l'Honqueau

227 nyc redneck  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:13:39pm

i bet that poodle just needs exercise, some obedience training and a diet appropriate for a dog.
(i can just imagine what bad pet owners these people are.)
dogs don't get clinically "depressed". that's bull sh*t.
dogs live in the moment.
change the environment, the dog changes.
they are trying to 'humanize' the dog.
he might have even attacked because of the drugs he was on.

and as far as the french being "horrified" by the attack.
they need to refocus their horror to the islamification of their country.

228 Rexatosis  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:13:41pm

A couple of "puppy uppers," a few "doggie downers," the next thing you know you have a pill popping psychotic poodle on your hands. The question now is: the pound for a visit with the needle or detox? (of course in the days of ol' yeller the answer was crystal clear.)

229 FloridaAnole  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:13:42pm

re: #209 loppyd

Automatic poodles don't roll backwards down steep hills.

Do automatic poodles have PRNDL on their collars?

230 bulwrk  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:13:48pm

re: #196 Charles

Hitler was what would today be called an environmentalist.

231 Bloodnok  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:00pm

re: #217 loppyd

Are you calling the French a race?

Lighten up, France-is.

:-)

232 OldLineTexan  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:22pm

re: #222 Dustyvet

Is there a French word for Honco?

It's long...."Maltese poodle".

233 FurryOldGuyJeans  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:22pm

re: #32 Cato the Elder

Poor dog. Will he need rabies shots?

Distemper, to mellow the dog out so it isn't as depressed any more.

234 Silhouette  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:31pm

At least they aren't fully automatice poodles.

235 Dustyvet  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:34pm

re: #226 Occasional Reader

l'Honqueau

TA...:)

236 LGoPs  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:34pm

re: #217 loppyd

Are you calling the French a race?

Lighten up, Francis.

And another thing....any one of you honcos calls me Francis......and I'll kill ya..........

237 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:39pm

In the New and Improved US of A, our new regularoy czar, Cass Sunstein has advocated for animals to sue humans. Maybe is Chica's dog had a more reasonable way of dealing with his owner like suing him, he'd feel less angry.

Then again, Cass has sugessted that pet ownership is a form of slavery.

238 pingjockey  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:43pm

French is not a race, American is not a race, Islam is not a race. However some Islamists seem to be in arace to see who can get to Hell first.

239 Charles Johnson  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:14:51pm

re: #223 Occasional Reader

A funny race, if that old bit of doggerel is correct.

How does that go ... they fight with their face, and ... no, wait...

240 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:15:03pm

Ou sont les honqueaux d'antan?

241 captain joe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:15:27pm

What kind of bitch does Bwarny Fwank own?

242 Aye Pod  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:15:30pm

Greetings I bring to all ragamuffin*

Youtube Video

*Actually it's Frankie Paul with the suspiciously similar 'Alesha'.

243 Spare O'Lake  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:15:32pm

Some rather biting comments here about the former French leader.

244 Bloodnok  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:15:34pm

re: #222 Dustyvet

Is there a French word for Honco?

Honceau (with a cedille under the c. I stink at HTML codes)

245 itellu3times  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:15:45pm

It was raining cats and dogs, and there were poodles in the road.

246 stockman  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:15:59pm

Quelle horreur!

It is to laugh

247 HelloDare  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:16:06pm
Neo-Nazis cleaning up the trash.

They're putting themselves in trash bags?
I have the image of two Neo-Nazis talking on the side of the road. Their heads are sticking out of orange trash bags.

248 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:16:27pm

re: #229 FloridaAnole

Do automatic poodles have PRNDL on their collars?

Naturellement!

249 newsjunkie_ky  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:16:33pm

re: #202 goddessoftheclassroom

Oh, I'm so glad! I know the outlook was bleak a few days ago.


It was, still don't understand what happened. I think someone was playing fast and loose with his meds. He had just gotten out of rehab center was doing great and then within a week, he was 'talking out of his head' and at death's door. His daughter is a leech and moved in with him after my Mom passed. She tried to have him committed to a mental institution once and keeps sending him to the nursing home so she can live in his house and spend his pension. Guess who she voted for in the prez election?
Later Lizards.

250 FurryOldGuyJeans  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:16:40pm

I don't remember this amount of concern and speculation regarding The Bush's dog Barney's mental state when he bit that reporter.

251 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:16:51pm

re: #239 Charles

How does that go ... they fight with their face, and ... no, wait...

Don't make me report you to Stinky.

252 rightymouse  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:16:53pm

This is one of the funniest stories today. Needed the laugh. Thanks!

Chirac should consider aquiring pet fish.

253 Ojoe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:16:53pm

Steam Traction Engines.


*********

Even the dogs are depressed in France.

254 Dustyvet  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:16:58pm

re: #241 captain joe

What kind of bitch does Bwarny Fwank own?

No idea, I suspect he may well have picked it up at 42nd Street and Times Square in NYC.

255 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:17:06pm

re: #227 nyc redneck

True story: My inlaws (the libs in Vermont) had a big mutt thing named Dreyfus who had to go to anger management class. He would run down the mountain to the convenience store and would jump in people's cars when they opened the door to get in. He would then sit in the seat and growl at them so they couldn't get in their own cars.

256 Kragar  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:17:26pm

Suspect in 2005 London Bombings Arrested in Pakistan

257 gmsc  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:17:26pm

re: #222 Dustyvet

Is there a French word for Honco?

Better yet, it "Honco" even a word?

258 HelloDare  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:17:33pm

I bet Tom Cruise would never medicate his dog.

259 Soona'  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:17:49pm

re: #223 Occasional Reader

A funny race, if that old bit of doggerel is correct.

An unwinnable race.

260 Ojoe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:17:56pm

re: #238 pingjockey

Two silkworms had a race, but they ended up in a tie.

261 Charles Johnson  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:17:59pm

re: #204 Walter L. Newton

No I am not. It seems like you were saying that playing around with French stereotypes is permissible. So, I was just wondering if other racial stereotypical humor was ok, like about blacks?

If I misunderstood you, then please clue me in.

I don't see this as making fun of the French -- it's making fun of Jacques Chirac, who really deserves every bit of mockery that could possibly be inflicted upon him.

262 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:01pm

re: #250 FurryOldGuyJeans

I don't remember this amount of concern and speculation regarding The Bush's dog Barney's mental state when he bit that reporter.

Because that was a righteous bite.

263 FurryOldGuyJeans  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:20pm

re: #258 HelloDare

I bet Tom Cruise would never medicate his dog.

That would mean less for Tom.

264 notutopia  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:22pm

The poodle needs the expert advise of
The Dog Whisperer
[Link: www.dogwhispererdvd.com...]

265 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:24pm

re: #188 HoosierHoops

Walter...This year when i visit the Amsterdam office I'm taking a weekend in Paris..I've always wanted to go there..
Any cool places I MUST visit? Besides the usual places.

The Holocaust Memorial - hard to find. It is behind Notre Dame, in the park, at the very tip of the Isle de Cite. Small but impressive. It is BELOW ground, so you have to look closely to find it, not well marked, but worth the time to find it.

Carnavalet Museum - the "garage" of France, full of all sorts of objects, but very interesting - [Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

Le Marais - the older Jewish area of Paris, now very much a Greenwich Village sort of area - walk around it, many small cafe's and stores, very nice.

And I know a few girls...

Also, I can put you in contact with the BEST walking tour guide in town. He's in his 70's, American citizen, has lived in Paris for over 30 years, use to work for UNESCO. Click on my name, go to my website and email me and I will pass on a email address.

266 [deleted]  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:24pm
267 Cato the Elder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:27pm

What's the Sellers re: #223 Occasional Reader

A funny race, if that old bit of doggerel is correct.

Doggerel? Do tell!

How does it go?

268 opnion  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:37pm

Speaking of dogs doing memorakle things, how about the Clintion Golden Lab, Buddy getting hit by the truck outside of their house?
I figure it was one of two things, either the dog couldn't take those two & comitted suicide or the dog knew too much & Carville was driving the truck.

269 Ojoe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:51pm

Fifi ! Non !

270 FurryOldGuyJeans  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:18:57pm

re: #262 Occasional Reader

Because that was a righteous bite.

Are you saying that biting Chirac wasn't?

271 Occasional Reader  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:19:04pm

re: #256 Kragar (proud to be kafir)

Suspect in 2005 London Bombings Arrested in Pakistan

Islamist terrorists? In Pakistan? Shirley Surely there must be some mistake!

Anyway, I'm off to the gym.

272 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:19:08pm

OT Classic quote:

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money. _ Margaret Thatcher

273 Dianna  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:19:13pm

The symptoms described read like rage. Springers have it, now and again. It's a sign of over-breeding.

The dog should have been put down before this.

274 FloridaAnole  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:19:17pm

re: #250 FurryOldGuyJeans

I don't remember this amount of concern and speculation regarding The Bush's dog Barney's mental state when he bit that reporter.

This story states that the poodle is a headcase; the Barney story indicated the reporter was a headcase (remember the video of him poking at the dog?)

275 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:19:35pm

re: #261 Charles

I don't see this as making fun of the French -- it's making fun of Jacques Chirac, who really deserves every bit of mockery that could possibly be inflicted upon him.

and more.

276 Outrider  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:19:49pm

re: #266 Iron Fist

Damn, a poodle? Somebody get the pussy man a pit bull. It would be kinda humiliating to be mauled bad enough to need emergancy care by a poodle. How very, very French.

not to French, the dog was aggressive.

277 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:19:52pm

re: #250 FurryOldGuyJeans

I don't remember this amount of concern and speculation regarding The Bush's dog Barney's mental state when he bit that reporter.

* * *
Clearly, Barney in that case demonstrated he was a lizard exhibiting reptilian behavior appropriate to the situation. Fight, not flight, when poked by media types.

278 FurryOldGuyJeans  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:20:21pm

re: #274 FloridaAnole

This story states that the poodle is a headcase; the Barney story indicated the reporter was a headcase (remember the video of him poking at the dog?)

Yes, I do remember. :)

But is it any wonder the Chirac's dog is mental? Wouldn't you be living with him?

279 Ojoe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:20:22pm

re: #184 Kosh's Shadow

Psycho Poodle Kess Ka Say

280 itellu3times  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:20:27pm

Free Poodlestein!

281 Wishing  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:20:38pm

Seems to me that I have read elsewhere that many of the anti-depressants available to people cause them to become violent, commit suicide etc.
Will be interesting to see which *brand* of medication this sweet little dog was on.

282 mikalm  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:20:42pm

re: #267 Cato the Elder

What's the Sellers

Doggerel? Do tell!

How does it go?

The French they are
A funny race
They fight with their feet
And f**k with their face!

283 AuntAcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:20:52pm

re: #222 Dustyvet

Is there a French word for Honco?

Cache-cache

284 Spare O'Lake  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:21:12pm

re: #269 Ojoe

Fifi ! Non !

Already with the sound bites?

285 Killian Bundy  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:21:31pm

Italian paper: Gazans say Hamas kept them in homes used by gunmen

Palestinian civilians have accused Hamas of forcing them to stay in homes from which gunmen shot at Israeli soldiers during the recent hostilities in Gaza, the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera reported Thursday.

/Captain Obvious journalism

286 HelloDare  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:21:34pm

re: #204 Walter L. Newton

No I am not. It seems like you were saying that playing around with French stereotypes is permissible. So, I was just wondering if other racial stereotypical humor was ok, like about blacks?

If I misunderstood you, then please clue me in.

Black poodles are no different than white poodles.

287 Dianna  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:21:37pm

re: #266 Iron Fist

Damn, a poodle? Somebody get the pussy man a pit bull. It would be kinda humiliating to be mauled bad enough to need emergancy care by a poodle. How very, very French.

A French poodle or a standard could actually inflict quite a lot of damage. I'm not sure what a "maltese poodle" is - it could be a purse dog, or not. Even so, if it gets your throat or your wrist, you're going to wish it hadn't.

Having dealt with a psychotic 35-pound spaniel mix, I'm here to say that it doesn't take a big dog to do an awful lot of damage.

288 Dustyvet  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:21:41pm

Q: How do you get a French waiter's attention?

A: Start ordering in German.

289 loppyd  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:21:45pm

I suppose I should go see about dinner.

BBIAB

290 Aye Pod  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:21:48pm

Pilger, a necessary evil?

[Link: www.hurryupharry.org...]

The point about the mainstream left, however you want to define it these days, is that we should aspire to be better than that. We are meant to be progressive, stand for universal principles of human and civil rights, and be democrats. We do not need “illiberal and authoritarian” far left types on board. We do not need people who think we should depend on terrorists who have sent suicide bombers to markets, and tortured and killed trade unionists. We do not need people who would excuse those who have murdered innocent people of all faiths, race, and nationality for the crime of taking a tube train.

Scum like Pilger should be bashed, not because they are our own, but to demonstrate they are not.

291 pingjockey  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:22:03pm

re: #260 Ojoe
Groaaaaaaaaan!

292 Dustyvet  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:22:15pm

The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow".

293 Ojoe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:22:15pm

re: #14 loppyd

Full size Poodles are hunting dogs.

294 FloridaAnole  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:22:18pm

re: #278 FurryOldGuyJeans

Yes, I do remember. :)

But is it any wonder the Chirac's dog is mental? Wouldn't you be living with him?

I think you have touched on the heart of the matter.

295 Pyroskank  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:22:47pm

Man, I hate poodles. Somebody call Cesar Millan!

296 Walter L. Newton  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:22:47pm

re: #288 Dustyvet

Q: How do you get a French waiter's attention?

A: Start ordering in German.

You don't. You wait, patiently.

297 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:22:50pm

A Poodle Abomination

he should be able to sue his pet slave owner for this

298 alegrias  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:22:52pm

re: #285 Killian Bundy

Italian paper: Gazans say Hamas kept them in homes used by gunmen


/Captain Obvious journalism

* * *
That Italian paper is rocking today, exposing Hamass tactics all day!

299 mikalm  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:23:00pm

re: #282 mikalm

The origin of that unfortunate rhyme was allegedly in World War I. According to the stories, the doughboys stationed in France were most impressed by savate kickboxing, and oral sex, which they took to be Gallic customs.

300 Dianna  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:23:05pm

re: #274 FloridaAnole

This story states that the poodle is a headcase; the Barney story indicated the reporter was a headcase (remember the video of him poking at the dog?)

I do - Barney was provoked.

Scotties deserve respect.

301 RedPepper  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:23:31pm

re: #252 rightymouse

This is one of the funniest stories today. Needed the laugh. Thanks!

Chirac should consider aquiring pet fish.

A candiru, peut-etre?

302 mjbrutus  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:23:36pm

Clewseau: Derz ur derg bite?
Chirac: Non.

(Clewseau reaches to pet, gets bitten)

Clewseau: But you zaid ur derg dooz not bite.
Chirac: This is not my dog.

Why did I rehash this old bit? Because this is a story that has it's own punch line.

303 itellu3times  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:23:42pm

Obama placed a call to the poodle immediately and offered to send Hillary to open full diplomatic relations with it, without preconditions.

304 jhrhv  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:23:48pm

French President attacked by dog is this a dog bites cheese story? Reminded me of this.

Going to War Without France Is Like…
…a Texas barbecue without a croissant…
…Marine Boot Camp without your Liza Minelli records…
…the ninth inning without your placekicker…
…firing up your computer without a virus…
…holding a bachelor party without the bride…
…crossing the Sahara without a fishing pole…
…wearing a Speedo without suspenders…
…the Republican Convention without Barbra Streisand…
…going swimming without your anvil…
…going to war without Germany…
…eating a bowl of tomato soup without chopsticks…
…visiting the pyramids without your snowshoes…
…going on your honeymoon without your mother-in-law…
…climbing Mount Everest without your submarine…
…bathing without your toaster oven…
…a “goal line defense” without Richard Simmons at tackle…
…skydiving without an elephant seal…
…a normal war. ’nuff said

305 Pietr  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:24:12pm

Tried to read up-gave up.
I posted before that I thought the story got reversed...being my snarccy self.
That said:
My neighbor has 6 (used to be 7) poodles, and had a Golden retriever(the Golden was put down, and 1 poodle disappeared). They're kept in the house, but get released, and kill anything in the yard! They've accounted for about 13 feral kittens, 3 cats, about a dozen pigeons, and 3 squirrels-that I know of. I've saved 3 kittens from them-many times, tried to save 6 others, and couldn't. They are a pack, and come silently for the kill-they only bark when they fail, or the victim stands them down for a moment. That's my experience, and I'll keep trying to save kittens from them....Cheers

306 Yidwithlid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:24:26pm

Maybe the Poodle is Jewish and knows what Chirac did to Israel

307 opnion  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:24:36pm

Mon Ami's, zee Inspector Cluseau will be called in no? did zee perp have zee accomplices?

308 Bloodnok  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:25:10pm

re: #300 Dianna

I do - Barney was provoked.

Scotties deserve respect.

Yes they do. They are very solitary dogs and it is they who decide to be near you, not the other way around. I love Scotties and Cairns. Wonderful dogs.

309 [deleted]  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:25:23pm
310 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:25:29pm

re: #279 Ojoe

Psycho Poodle Kess Ka Say

I had actually started writing that about one of ours; he's on barbiturates for seizures, and is crazy. Fortunately, he's a toy, and he's mostly crazy if he isn't near my wife. (Crazy about her, I guess)
But it was worth modifying for this thread.
That's as far as I got with it.

Our standard poodles are quite lovable and sane. Just don't walk in the yard if they're out. But then, 50, 55, and 60 lb dogs are intimidating, especially poodles, because they have a thin build and are tall for the weight.

BBL; heading home

311 mean Gene  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:25:33pm

re: #297 DistantThunder

A Poodle Abomination

he should be able to sue his pet slave owner for this

Don't we have a new cabinet (or at least top advisor) to 0bama who believes that all our ''pets'' are slaves deserving of legal representation?

312 notutopia  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:25:37pm

re: #302 mjbrutus

Clewseau: Derz ur derg bite?
Chirac: Non.

(Clewseau reaches to pet, gets bitten)

Clewseau: But you zaid ur derg dooz not bite.
Chirac: This is not my dog.

Why did I rehash this old bit? Because this is a story that has it's own punch line.

That's not the dog I used to know!

313 LGoPs  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:25:46pm

Oh no,........... the caninity........the caninity of it all

314 gregg  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:25:49pm

I posted this bit from Mark Steyn early this morning, but I think it's worth posting it again:

A terrifying headline in The Daily Mail:

Former French President Chirac Hospitalised After Mauling By His Clinically Depressed Poodle

Let's hope President Obama doesn't meet the same fate at the hands of Chris Matthews.

315 Cato the Elder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:26:08pm

re: #268 opnion

Speaking of dogs doing memorakle things, how about the Clintion Golden Lab, Buddy getting hit by the truck outside of their house?
I figure it was one of two things, either the dog couldn't take those two & comitted suicide or the dog knew too much & Carville was driving the truck.

That's just not funny. Somebody's dog gets run over and you think it's a joke?

316 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:26:21pm

re: #308 Bloodnok

Yes they do. They are very solitary dogs and it is they who decide to be near you, not the other way around. I love Scotties and Cairns. Wonderful dogs.

Our daughter has a delightful blonde Cairn that she allowed us to pet sit this summer. We didn;t want to give her back. They are small, yet not fragile.

317 bnichols10  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:26:50pm

The poodle is up... and the field goal is good!

318 Empire1  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:26:53pm

Um, we have two pit bull crosses, and they're the best dogs we've had in a long life of being owned by dogs. The main problem is that they both think they're lap dogs. This isn't so bad for the 30-lb half-Dachsie, but the 80+-lb half-Dalmatian is a bit of a stretch for that!

The weirdest part, I think, is that when we give them marrowbones, they settle down together and gnaw very happily on the bones, trading off every so often. I've never seen that before.

319 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:27:37pm

re: #311 mean Gene

Don't we have a new cabinet (or at least top advisor) to 0bama who believes that all our ''pets'' are slaves deserving of legal representation?

yes, I just posted that - he wants to phase out meat eating, ban hunting, and believes pet ownership is a barbaric form of slavery.

320 Dianna  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:27:37pm

re: #308 Bloodnok

Yes they do. They are very solitary dogs and it is they who decide to be near you, not the other way around. I love Scotties and Cairns. Wonderful dogs.

I love dogs, period. There are breeds I like better than others, but in the end, they're dogs.

321 Dustyvet  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:27:41pm

TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
10 When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
9 Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
8 You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
7 If there's a war you can surrender really early.
6 You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
5 You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
4 You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
3 Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
2 You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
1 People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

322 AuntAcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:27:47pm

re: #255 ArmyWife

True story: My inlaws (the libs in Vermont) had a big mutt thing named Dreyfus who had to go to anger management class. He would run down the mountain to the convenience store and would jump in people's cars when they opened the door to get in. He would then sit in the seat and growl at them so they couldn't get in their own cars.

I'm surprised the dog did it more than once. Vermont has the most liberal gun toting laws in the country.

323 jcbunga  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:28:13pm

First, prayers for Mr. Chirac's full recovery.

Second, to quote the Pink Pather movie where Inspector Clouseau gets mauled by a dog he tried to pet...perhaps--

"Zat ezz NOT mah DAWG"

324 Killgore Trout  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:28:18pm

Austrian far-right legislator convicted of anti-Muslim incitement

Austrian far-right parliamentarian Susanne Winter was convicted Thursday of incitement because of her anti-Muslim statements, including the claim that Islam's prophet Mohammed was a paedophile. A court in Winter's home town of Graz also found the 51-year-old politician guilty of humiliating a religion. She was sentenced to a fine of 24,000 euros (31,000 dollars) euros and a suspended prison term of three months, Austrian news agency APA reported.

The politician, who took a seat in parliament last fall for the Freedom Party (FPOe), made the anti-Islamic remarks in January 2008.

She also proposed in a discussion with students that Muslim men should commit bestiality rather than making "indecent advances" on girls.

The counter-jihad movement is rallying to her defense. Before I decide how much to defend her; What to we know about the FPO?

325 Ojoe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:29:03pm

re: #304 jhrhv

The French acquited themselves well in WW1 & stopped the Germans with great nerve and guts at Sedan.

Some of them are
Remembering WW2 and are grateful too.

326 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:29:11pm

re: #321 Dustyvet

TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
10 When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
9 Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
8 You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
7 If there's a war you can surrender really early.
6 You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
5 You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
4 You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
3 Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
2 You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
1 People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

11. Vichy is in your DNA.

327 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:29:17pm

re: #318 Empire1

My 80 pound German Shepherd thinks she is a lap dog, too.

328 itellu3times  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:29:29pm

Y'know, it only just penetrated my brain that this was about Chirac, not Sarkozy.

329 Dianna  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:29:34pm

re: #315 Cato the Elder

That's just not funny. Somebody's dog gets run over and you think it's a joke?

It's not funny, at all.

Poor Buddy, a very handsome and loving chocolate lab.

330 FurryOldGuyJeans  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:30:01pm

re: #322 AuntAcid

I'm surprised the dog did it more than once. Vermont has the most liberal gun toting laws in the country.

Liberal and gun-toting just don't seem to go together. ;)

331 Spare O'Lake  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:30:02pm

If Jacques reads this thread he will be in stitches.

332 ArmyWife  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:30:09pm

re: #322 AuntAcid

Everyone knew who the dog belongs too, and this is in a tiny town outside of Rutland near Okemo, so its full o' libs without guns.

333 Bloodnok  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:30:14pm

re: #316 DistantThunder

Our daughter has a delightful blonde Cairn that she allowed us to pet sit this summer. We didn;t want to give her back. They are small, yet not fragile.

My folks adopted a blonde 2-year-old cairn this summer. The most even tempered dog I have ever seen. Dogs that are too wild to be around other dogs walk up to him -sniff him -then calm down and they play together. I've never seen anything like it. He's an escape artist though. He can't help it.

334 Ojoe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:30:32pm

re: #331 Spare O'Lake

...At the biting comments.

335 Darwin Akbar  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:30:42pm

The French are used to being mauled by German Shepards, but poodles......?

Next think you know, the French will be mauled by camels (or camel-jockeys)....oh, wait, that's already happened too!

Napoleon and the French who fought so bravely during the Great War would be ashamed of their country.

336 mean Gene  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:30:42pm

re: #319 DistantThunder

yes, I just posted that - he wants to phase out meat eating, ban hunting, and believes pet ownership is a barbaric form of slavery.

Yeah, old ''what's his name.''
You know, if he does ban hunting (but wasn't it only if there was fun involved?.....sort of Islamic) why would we need guns?
/

337 rightymouse  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:30:45pm

re: #301 RedPepper

A candiru, peut-etre?

Perhaps. I was thinking more of a poisson-ballon.

338 efuseakay  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:05pm

Obviously it was Jaque's fault. He did something to offend the poodle.

339 ryannon  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:12pm

re: #321 Dustyvet

TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
10 When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
9 Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
8 You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
7 If there's a war you can surrender really early.
6 You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
5 You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
4 You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
3 Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
2 You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
1 People think you're a great lover even when you're not.


Don't knock the snails and frog legs until you've tried them.

Definitely not 'insect food'.

340 CEQAttorney  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:26pm

I was going to say that standard poodles are just as big as any other dog and so it's not as bad as it sounds.

But then I saw a picture of the Chirac's poodle, Sumo.

Image: 1_21_012209_Sumo.jpg

That's pretty silly.

341 J.S.  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:31pm

re: #324 Killgore Trout

Isn't that the late Jorg Haider's party? They're fascists.

342 opnion  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:32pm

re: #315 Cato the Elder

That's just not funny. Somebody's dog gets run over and you think it's a joke?


Oh for God sake take it easy. I am sorry that the dog got hit, it was a joke about the Clintons! sheesh

343 pingjockey  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:36pm

re: #329 Dianna
I didn't know he got run over. How in hell did he get out? I would assume due to security concerns the house has a big damn fence and a gate the Secret Service staffs, not to mention all the other Secret Service types around.

344 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:38pm

re: #336 mean Gene

Yeah, old ''what's his name.''
You know, if he does ban hunting (but wasn't it only if there was fun involved?.....sort of Islamic) why would we need guns?
/

Cass Sunstein

345 Dianna  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:39pm

re: #325 Ojoe

The French acquited themselves well in WW1 & stopped the Germans with great nerve and guts at Sedan.

Some of them are
Remembering WW2 and are grateful too.

"France" died at Verdun.

346 mikalm  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:41pm

re: #324 Killgore Trout

Austrian far-right legislator convicted of anti-Muslim incitement

The counter-jihad movement is rallying to her defense. Before I decide how much to defend her; What to we know about the FPO?

That's Jorge Haider's former party, isn't it?

347 Dustyvet  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:44pm

The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!" The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

348 goddessoftheclassroom  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:31:45pm

re: #339 ryannon

Don't knock the snails and frog legs until you've tried them.

Definitely not 'insect food'.

I adore escargot with gobs if garlic butter!

349 jcm  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:32:22pm

The worm turns.....

News agencies refuse Obama photos; 'visual press releases'

Three news agencies, the Associated Press, Reuters and Agence France-Press, wouldn't distribute White House-provided images of Obama yesterday, citing the breaking of long-standing tradition of giving access to photographers in the Oval Office.

The AP reports:

"We are not distributing what are, in effect, visual press releases," said Michael Oreskes, managing editor for U.S. news at the AP.
350 mikalm  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:32:44pm

Poodles = rats with perms!

351 notutopia  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:32:51pm

We have two male brother Aussies, other than the occasional pulling tail feathers out of the Drake ducks, they are the most intelligent and loyal dogs I have ever had the pleasure of sharing my homestead with. They need lots of space to run and a purpose of working. They are awesome cattle dogs. They help me gather firewood.
I've had springer spaniels and english basset hounds all together, two sets of brothers. They all were much more aggressive and less intelligent than my Aussies.
Great Breed.

352 Kaymad  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:32:52pm

re: #308 Bloodnok

I have a scottish terrier. In that video of Barney you could tell he was most definitely giving signals that he wanted to be left alone. However, that was a warning nip...being mauled by a dog is a whole nother matter entirely.

353 LGoPs  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:32:58pm

re: #317 bnichols10

The poodle is up... and the field goal is good!

And the crowd goes wild..........

354 mikalm  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:20pm

re: #347 Dustyvet

LOL!

355 bulwrk  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:26pm

re: #331 Spare O'Lake

That was actually very funny but dinged you down out of sheer pettiness.

356 Cato the Elder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:35pm

re: #282 mikalm

That's what we need around here: More doggerel! And maybe some dog-Latin, while we're at it.

357 Dianna  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:35pm

re: #340 CEQAttorney

I was going to say that standard poodles are just as big as any other dog and so it's not as bad as it sounds.

But then I saw a picture of the Chirac's poodle, Sumo.

[Link: www.foxnews.com...]

That's pretty silly.

There was a story a few years ago about some poor soul who was mobbed by 15 chihuahuas.

A very small dog can inflict a lot of damage in the right place.

358 ryannon  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:41pm

re: #334 Ojoe

...At the biting comments.

This thread needs to be kept on a leash. It's getting rabid.

359 goddessoftheclassroom  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:43pm

re: #349 jcm

The worm turns.....

News agencies refuse Obama photos; 'visual press releases'

Now we'll all see who's in charge...

360 Soona'  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:43pm

re: #311 mean Gene

Don't we have a new cabinet (or at least top advisor) to 0bama who believes that all our ''pets'' are slaves deserving of legal representation?

Yes we do. Another progressive for a progressive society.
//wretch!

361 J.S.  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:46pm

re: #324 Killgore Trout

What I'd be interested in knowing is -- Where did she make her remarks? that is, did she make the remarks inside Parliament? or outside? (in other words, I'm wondering about "Parliamentary Immunity" -- is this changing in Europe?)

362 Bloodnok  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:33:52pm

BBL - The Golden Retriever I am dogsitting has made it known she would like to have dinner.

363 AuntAcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:34:03pm

re: #311 mean Gene

Don't we have a new cabinet (or at least top advisor) to 0bama who believes that all our ''pets'' are slaves deserving of legal representation?

reparations

364 Ojoe  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:34:04pm

re: #345 Dianna

True.

365 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:34:13pm

The truly scary thing about dangerous dogs is that they are at a perfect height to bite a child in the face. This happened to my 4 year old who was gently petting our cousins' yorkshire terrier. 9 years later he still has the scars on his cheek.

366 FurryOldGuyJeans  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:34:30pm

re: #349 jcm

Wow, it only took two days. Un-fricking-believable.

367 kcladderman  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:34:53pm

re: #349 jcm

The worm turns.....

News agencies refuse Obama photos; 'visual press releases'

Yes the picture media is very upset with the new administration over that one.


Kinda.. We get you elected and this is the thanks we get?

368 unrealizedviewpoint  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:35:00pm

re: #343 pingjockey

I didn't know he got run over. How in hell did he get out? I would assume due to security concerns the house has a big damn fence and a gate the Secret Service staffs, not to mention all the other Secret Service types around.

The guard dog watching Buddy was fired.
/

369 Killgore Trout  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:35:12pm

re: #341 J.S.

Isn't that the late Jorg Haider's party? They're fascists.

I seem to remember it being a fascist party but it's easy to get these goofy European political parties confused. Either way it's not good. They are prosecuting Nazis, and neo-Fascists, now they're going after Geert (who is simply over the top and a little nutty), next they'll be going after Ayaan Hirsi Ali and Pat Condell. It's not good.

370 debutaunt  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:35:23pm

re: #348 goddessoftheclassroom

I adore escargot with gobs if garlic butter!

Add some sourdough bread and you have a feast.

371 Dianna  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:35:55pm

re: #343 pingjockey

I didn't know he got run over. How in hell did he get out? I would assume due to security concerns the house has a big damn fence and a gate the Secret Service staffs, not to mention all the other Secret Service types around.

I don't know, and I've always been pretty disgusted with the Clintons about it. That was a very fine dog - every time I saw him on tv I was more impressed - and clearly ached to be with his people. Why they didn't take better care, and love him more, I don't know.

372 kcladderman  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:35:59pm

re: #365 DistantThunder

The truly scary thing about dangerous dogs is that they are at a perfect height to bite a child in the face. This happened to my 4 year old who was gently petting our cousins' yorkshire terrier. 9 years later he still has the scars on his cheek.

Your son or the dog?

373 Killgore Trout  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:36:42pm

re: #361 J.S.

Her statement about muslim men and bestiality at some sort of meeting with students.

374 kcladderman  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:36:53pm

re: #371 Dianna

I don't know, and I've always been pretty disgusted with the Clintons about it. That was a very fine dog - every time I saw him on tv I was more impressed - and clearly ached to be with his people. Why they didn't take better care, and love him more, I don't know.

He was a very good looking dog.

375 DistantThunder  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:36:54pm

re: #372 kcladderman

Your son or the dog?

The boy.

376 jcm  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:36:59pm

re: #327 ArmyWife

My 80 pound German Shepherd thinks she is a lap dog, too.

My sister's had a Greyhound that thought he was too. He start sitting on the floor in front of you. Then slowly work his hind end up onto your lap. He thought he was being sneaky about it.

377 kateca  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:37:22pm

How do you get "mauled' by a two lb. ankle biter? When my Border Collie's neck was in the death grip of a Doberman I choked the Dobie off by twisting his collar til his eyes buldged out. He never came on our property again. I'm pretty sure I could take a poodle, no matter how vicious, and I'm a girl:>

378 J.S.  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:37:24pm

re: #369 Killgore Trout

I checked it out on Wiki...yeah, it's Haider's party...("Freedom Party of Austria")...Europe is sooo f*ed up...

379 freetoken  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:38:03pm

re: #369 Killgore Trout

I did find some information via Google Scholar...

Here is part of book that reconstructs the party's history:
[Link: books.google.com...]

But I too have a hard time keeping all these splinter European political movements apart in my mind. There are just too many of them.

380 Dustyvet  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:39:43pm

Police Dog


Pluto In Hot Pursuit...

Youtube Video
381 Empire1  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:39:50pm

re: #327 ArmyWife

My 80 pound German Shepherd thinks she is a lap dog, too.

You have my sympathy! Especially if she jumps up the way Samson does, right on your tummy.

382 jcbunga  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:40:01pm

My Black Lab Maggie loves everybody..except, of course any tennis ball. The mortal enemy of the Labrador Retriever.

She's never met a French-type person.

Perhaps Chirac taunted the dog a second time-uh.

That's all I got.

383 solomonpanting  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:41:26pm

All you posters making comments with the French accent, that's just racist.

384 Lincolntf  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:41:39pm

re: #188 HoosierHoops

My two cents: The catacombs and the cemetery that I can't quite recall the name of. The catacombs because they are bizarre and fascinating, the cemetery pretty much just to say you've been there (too many famous residents to number).

385 J.S.  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:41:51pm

re: #373 Killgore Trout

O brother -- (as in "wow") -- guess ya gotta watch what ya say and where ya say it in Austria...and they say it's a "free" country?

386 AuntAcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:42:01pm

re: #330 FurryOldGuyJeans

Liberal and gun-toting just don't seem to go together. ;)


Gun laws were originally used to keep guns from Blacks and other minorities lest they revolt. White Vermont had no need to restrict the locals. You can still slap on a hogleg and go to town.

387 Spare O'Lake  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:42:34pm

re: #358 ryannon

This thread needs to be kept on a leash. It's getting rabid.

Canine horror!
(channeling completely unrelated Jewish expression)

388 FloridaAnole  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:43:00pm

re: #371 Dianna

I don't know, and I've always been pretty disgusted with the Clintons about it. That was a very fine dog - every time I saw him on tv I was more impressed - and clearly ached to be with his people. Why they didn't take better care, and love him more, I don't know.

I always thought the Clintons used poor Buddy as a political prop; look at how they treated Socks the Cat -- they got him just before Bill's run for the Presidency, and ditched him as soon as they left the White House. Their animals seemed to be image accessories.

389 opnion  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:44:21pm

re: #329 Dianna

It's not funny, at all.

Poor Buddy, a very handsome and loving chocolate lab.

Dianna, it was meant to be at the expense of the Clintons.
The late night comics were making the same kind of jokes at the time.

390 Killgore Trout  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:45:30pm

Austrian Party That Wants To Bring Back Nazi Imagery Wins Big

In Austria’s recent national elections, voters gave significant support to a party that seeks to bring back Nazi symbols and salutes. The anti-immigrant Freedom Party (FPO), headed by Heinz-Christian Strache, former dental assistant and representative of Europe’s Cities Against Islamisation group, won 18 percent of the vote.

Another anti-immigrant party, the Alliance for Austria’s Future, led by Jörg Haider, a former Freedom Party leader who broke away and formed a new party in 2005, got 11 percent of the vote.

OK, I remember these guys now.

391 LEGION  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:45:50pm

re: #193 ArmyWife

I am thinking that you are purposely causing havoc with this thread. Method acting?

(Cleanly mixing metaphors on purpose)- Walter must have a bug up his belfry. Awfully grouchy tonite (what else is new?)- and quite a potty mouth too. Go take a chill pill. Minus dings for you.
I've had poodle pets as a kid- mother and sisters loved them- a minature gray female and a minature black male. They were okay. Noisy sissys but what the heck.

392 Lively  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:49:37pm

re: #365 DistantThunder

The truly scary thing about dangerous dogs is that they are at a perfect height to bite a child in the face. This happened to my 4 year old who was gently petting our cousins' yorkshire terrier. 9 years later he still has the scars on his cheek.

Same thing happened to my kid.

393 Darwin Akbar  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:51:21pm

re: #325 Ojoe

I have recently visited many WWI and WWII war memorials in France and was pleased and touched to see that the memory of the sacrifice of those Americans who fought in those wars was indeed remembered and appreciated. I was also profoundly moved by the courage and sacrifices of the French at Verdun and so many other blood-stained battlefields. I was left with impression that anti-Americanism was mostly an elitist and urban phenomenon.

That said, if the French cannot find the cultral strenght to face up to the Islamist challenge instead of embracing or appeasing it, they are truly doomed....sad, really....

394 Pastorius  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:51:31pm

For my money, this is the funniest story on LGF since the Buzzing Prayer Rug.

395 J.S.  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:54:17pm

re: #390 Killgore Trout

It seems that Europe (once again? or how many times has this happened?) is making sure that there will be 2 extremist camps, with an ever shrinking middle...In the 1930s it was the Communists vs the Fascists...now it's going to be the Leftist/Islamist/Communists vs the Nationalist/Fascists...

396 Pickle  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:54:35pm

May I and my pit bull, who wouldn't "maul" a kitten, take this opportunity to point out that breed-specific legislation is freakin' retarded.

397 Killgore Trout  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:55:35pm

re: #395 J.S.

It certainly looks like things are shaping up that way.

398 tappin52  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:55:57pm

Could Caesar Milan go to France? Sounds like they have a "red zone" dog there.

399 caligal  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:59:06pm

ohh, la la,
a "maltese poodle" ...no wonder it is depressed.
too funny!

400 Kulhwch  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:59:33pm

Photo here of the awe-inspiring Sumo, being walked by his mistress ...

}:)     [Surrender monkies indeed ... tsk ...]

401 unakite  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:04:28pm

Sorry if this is a repeat. Just checked in, read the first line, and jumped to the bottom. But I'm surprised that all of the French aren't being treated for depression.

402 HugoChavez  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:12:55pm

OM EFFIN GAWD!

Has no one, but NO ONE said this yet?

French Poodle Mauled By French Poodle

Oh and Walter New-toine, get a life you humorless twit.

403 Spare O'Lake  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:17:40pm

re: #396 Pickle

May I and my pit bull, who wouldn't "maul" a kitten, take this opportunity to point out that breed-specific legislation is freakin' retarded.

While there are many gentle individual members of the breed, the evidence seems overwhelming that Pit Bull Terriers are genetically disposed to exhibit a disproportionate amount of extremely vicious and unpredictable behaviour. When this genetic predisposition is combined with the breed's ability to inflict lethal injuries to humans, the risk does seem to be unacceptably high.
That is the unfortunate truth of the matter.

404 Ayatollah Ghilmeini  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:19:25pm

As a man of mercy, I think best to put Chirac down; the dog can stay with me.

405 Ayatollah Ghilmeini  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:20:46pm

re: #403 Spare O'Lake

Slight disagreement with you in one regard- anything quarter wolf or more is unacceptably dangerous.

406 Dave the.....  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:22:16pm

There has to be a joke...something about Chirac immediately surrendering to the poodle, changing his name to Vichy Chirac, and is now happily loading all the cats in Frawnce into boxcars to be shipped to dog-run concentration camps.

407 Summer Seale  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:26:06pm

I'm just trying so hard right now not to snicker... =)

...and failing.

408 lostlakehiker  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:29:54pm

Viciously mauled by your poodle. That has to take the cake. Even poodles, the breed that metaphorically exemplifies all that is wrong with fawning, lickspittle types such as, well, maybe, Jacques himself, rise above their station when confronted with Jacques in person.

409 Perplexed  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:39:38pm

Clue, the dog isn't depressed. It is pissed about the living conditions, food, and near total lack of attention.

410 Globular Cluster  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:41:46pm

The poodle-mauling couldn't have happened to a nicer douchebag.

411 Globular Cluster  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:42:42pm

re: #409 Perplexed

Clue, the dog isn't depressed. It is pissed about the living conditions, food, and near total lack of attention.

If I had to live with Chirac, I'd maul him too. Good doggy! Atta boy!

412 lostlakehiker  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:44:07pm

re: #396 Pickle

May I and my pit bull, who wouldn't "maul" a kitten, take this opportunity to point out that breed-specific legislation is freakin' retarded.

So you now (mis)estimate. Owners of pit bulls should be held responsible for anything their dog does, on the same standard that a man who lays mines in his lawn is responsible for anything that happens to trespassers. The owner knows, or damned well ought to know, that mines are likely to go off, causing grievous bodily harm or death. The owner knows, or damned well ought to know, that children, meter readers, cops pursuing a burglar, all may trespass without any criminal intent.

The extremely high probability that pit bulls will attack is well documented. While not quite so reliable as a well maintained and carefully placed land mine, the breed is orders of magnitude more vicious than, say, poodles. Or border collies, or just about anything else. Rottweilers, another vicious breed and individually bigger and stronger, are the only breed to come close in terms of likelihood of killing someone.

AMARILLO -- A miniature horse given to a boy with brain cancer by the Make-A-Wish Foundation was killed by a pair of pit bulls that were found roaming in his yard, authorities said.

The 31-inch horse, Anniversary, was donated by the foundation to 3-year-old Christian Vasquez in late August.

Christian, who was diagnosed in January with a malignant form of brain cancer, received a pull cart, a blanket, a halter and a bridle set from the foundation Saturday, said Jelaine Workman, executive director of the foundation's Amarillo chapter.

Two days later, Anniversary was found dead on his property in Pampa by Christian's father, Raul Vasquez. One of the dogs was captured and remains in custody at the Pampa animal pound, while the other escaped and remained loose, Gray County Sheriff Don Copeland said.


Or take this story:
McAllen TX story

...Politicians dubbed the action "Lillian's Law" in honor of Lillian Stiles. Stiles, 76, was mauled to death by five loose pit bulls during November 2005 in Thorndale, which is about 70 miles west of College Station.

The law makes owners responsible if their dogs attack and injure others. The owner is specifically liable if the dog is unsecured or attacks a person outside of a secure area. In other words, owners must take all precautions to restrain dogs dubbed dangerous.

In McAllen, one breed of dog causes the majority of bite complaints, officials said.

"Pit bulls, pit bulls and pit bulls," Chief Rodriguez said. ...


And there it is, folks. An inconvenient truth for pit bull fans.

413 S'latch  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 4:55:57pm

Didn't Sophocles write this story?

414 Western Chauvinist  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:00:49pm

Tee hee hee... ahhhh. Thanks Charles and lizards (Alouette, #38 and whoever linked to images of maltese poodle). After the last couple days I really needed a good laugh.

415 Elcid  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:02:19pm

re: #252 rightymouse

This is one of the funniest stories today. Needed the laugh. Thanks!

Chirac should consider aquiring pet fish.

I'm in. How much does a squad of these cost?

Youtube Video
416 redc1c4  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:04:23pm

i KNEW there was a song for this thread.....

417 Peter Verkooijen  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:07:12pm

re: #20 Walter L. Newton

Gosh, what you don't know about poodles...

"The Poodle is a breed of dog, and is regarded as one of the most intelligent breeds of dog.[1] ...
[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

The entry has just been updated:

The Poodle is a breed of dog, and is regarded as one of the most intelligent breeds of dog.[1] The poodle breed is found in small, medium, and large sizes, and in many coat colors. Originally bred as a type of water dog, the poodle is skillful in many dog sports, including agility, obedience, tracking, and even herding. Poodles are elegant in the conformation ring, having taken top honors in many shows, including Best in Show (BIS) at the Westminster Kennel Club show in 2002 and BIS at the World Dog Show in 2007. The poodle is a sissy dog.

The wisdom of crowds has spoken!

418 kansas  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:09:07pm

This is a joke, right?

419 reggiefu  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:11:33pm

I see this post and wondered when did Charles sell LGF to the Onion?

420 reggiefu  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:16:15pm

re: #24 DEZes

The poodle was between Chirac and his white flag. Damn!

421 Duane  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:37:08pm

I nominate the poodle for the Fallaci award.

422 CanadianBush  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:38:20pm

Has anyone recently seen Bush's poodle, answering to the name of 'Blair'?

423 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 5:51:47pm

re: #417 Peter Verkooijen

The wisdom of crowds has spoken!

Anyone who thinks poodles are sissies should come and visit me, after you sign a release. Standard poodles are not sissies. They are very protective, but they can also be very controlled.
We had an idiot delivery person walk in the yard despite signs, and despite seeing the dogs out. One showed him who is in charge - didn't break his skin, but did show him that he could do more. By that time, I had heard the barking and was at the door to call him in.
Now we have to get homeowner's insurance through the state pool, even though there was no claim. So, if you think poodles are sissies, come meet ours.

424 experiencedtraveller  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 6:39:40pm

Oh dear.

Mauled by the poodle.

Oh dear.

425 hopperandadropper  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 6:57:35pm

Been out of town today so could not post until now, but need to set something straight. A Maltese is not a poodle. The Maltese breed is a distinct breed. There is no such thing as a Maltese poodle. As the owner of two fine Standard poodles, I would like to claim that my dogs' cousin chewed on Jacques the Weasel, but facts are facts. Standard Poodles are an old breed, originally bred as cold-water retrievers, and some people still breed them as hunting dogs. They are extremely smart, even tempered, easy to train, and wonderful family dogs. I've never been a big fan of toy poodles, but Standards are a completely different thing.

426 mcdonald2012  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 7:11:06pm

A better title I think:

Former French President Fails to Surrender to Poodle

He never stood up to "unpredictable animals" prone to "frenzied fits" and "vicious, unprovoked attacks" before. I wonder why he started now? Maybe it's never too late to become a calm, assertive leader.

427 eprn1n2  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 7:16:10pm

Next he and a few poodle friends are going to go out and burn a few cars.

428 Cygnus  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 7:28:23pm

A face like that would send Cesar the Dog Whisperer running for his life. Grrrrrrrrrr!

429 Ledger1  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 8:01:25pm

Q: Ho did they know the Poodle was Clinically Depressed?

A: The Poodle said so.

430 VioletTiger  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 8:02:49pm

And this my friends, is why I own cats. Cats do not need therapy.

431 Bacchus's daddy  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 8:08:58pm

Wow. You can't make this stuff up.

432 Gella  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 8:18:26pm

call the dog whisperer

433 Dr. Shalit  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 8:43:29pm

re: #9 SWPaul

Maybe Carter and Chirac could start a club for President's attacked by small, cute animals?

SWPaul -

"ZACKLY" - That is all.

-S-

434 BingoBunny  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 9:04:05pm

Mrs.Chirac said she and her husband had spent millions of Francs on building a mattress wall along the part of the house the pet was allowed to live in. This mattress line was guarded by several retired policemen, who unfortunately were on paid vacation when the incident happened. la pew the largest paper in France found one still overseas and asked him his opinion on the attack.. "the puppy is a mean one.. he smiled and went on.. it likes to climb and lick peoples faces.. any strange moves thought and it will nip you. I warned them they need more mattress's in the wall." German tourists began lining up to visit the mattress wall, Tuesday; but were turned back and told to visit other famous French walls.

435 Stevie the K  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 9:14:04pm

three possible explanations:
1. Dog was raised by "youths" in the Banlieues;
2. Dog was possessed by Karmic forces;
3. It was the Jews' fault.

436 zulubaby  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 9:50:13pm

I know this makes me a bad person, but I cannot stop laughing! Charles, you are hilarious.

437 zulubaby  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 9:54:17pm

re: #185 pat

Put the bastard to sleep. Then find the dog a better home.

LOLOL!

438 zulubaby  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 9:57:53pm

re: #111 Walter L. Newton

Well, no (although my mom, when she was alive, had many over the years). It's just I see Lizards using this as an opportunity to dump on the French, which is silly. Dogs bite, all dogs, and sometimes they do it to their owners.

This has nothing to do with being a "French" thing. I don't mind a good joke, but I notice that a lot of commenters on LGF take some sort of thrill in dumping on the French.

Yes!

439 zulubaby  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 10:00:39pm
"We were aware the animal was unpredictable and is being treated with pills for depression. My husband was bitten quite badly but he is certain to make a full recovery in weeks."

Is there no end to this comedy?

440 Texan_2112  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 10:11:15pm

We called the mixed breed pups 'malti-poos' in my area.

441 Wendya  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 10:34:17pm

re: #14 loppyd

Yeah, but a poodle? Seems like a sissy dog.

Not at all. We had a poodle when I was a kid because they're "allergy friendly". He was the smartest dog I've ever encountered and tough as nails.

442 Dotcoman  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 10:50:45pm

Anyone got an address for Sumo Chirac, so I can send him a thank you note, a box of poodle sized doggy treats, and some St. John's Wart?

443 Xango Annie  Thu, Jan 22, 2009 11:39:52pm

Couldn't have been a pure bred Malt...I have Champion Malts and that is not in their DNA...that being said..congrats to that pup!

444 wiffersnapper  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 12:11:19am

pwned

445 SalsaNChips  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 4:12:23am

re: #30 mikalm

The poodle bites!
(come on, frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(snap it!)
The poodle bites!
(come on, frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(snap it!)

Frank Zappa, "Dirty Love"


Nothing but the best for my dog!

446 rockman  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 4:24:04am

Chirac's motto:

"Cry Uncle! And let slip the poodles of appeasement"

Until at long last even the poodles had had enough of him.
Attaboy Sumo!

447 WV.Hillbilly  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 5:37:14am

We cannot wait
Till we go back
It gets so exciting
When the poodles ‘react’
In France
Way down in France
Way on down
Way on down
In France

"In France" Frank Zappa

448 Kaymad  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 5:45:05am

re: #371 Dianna

Actually, in some recent book I read on the Clinton's (and it was NOT complimentary to them), it said Bill loved that dog and took him everywhere to the point that people were inconvenienced by it. They said he was devastated by the loss...guess an agent opened the door and Buddy got out that way.

449 Tricky Dick  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 6:19:12am

Apparently they misdiagnosed a conversion to islam by the dog as clinical depression. He was just making known his feelings about the infedel Jacques Chirac.

450 Ward Cleaver  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 6:38:33am

re: #20 Walter L. Newton

Gosh, what you don't know about poodles...

"The Poodle is a breed of dog, and is regarded as one of the most intelligent breeds of dog.[1] The poodle breed is found in small, medium, and large sizes, and in many coat colors. Originally bred as a type of water dog, the poodle is skillful in many dog sports, including agility, obedience, tracking, and even herding. Poodles are elegant in the conformation ring, having taken top honors in many shows, including Best in Show (BIS) at the Westminster Kennel Club show in 2002 and BIS at the World Dog Show in 2007."

[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

When I was a teenager in the '70s, there was a elderly gentleman who lived in our neighborhood, and we would encounter him frequently, walking his standard poodle (a BIG dog). This guy was a WWI (not WWII) vet, a big, barrel-chested guy, who as a young man let people break cinder blocks on his chest, with a sledgehammer. He also told us one time how he swam in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans in the same day, while stationed in the Panama Canal zone (he swam in the Atlantic, then rode on a ship through the canal, got off the ship, then went for a swim in the Pacific).

451 CLLRusso  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 6:40:26am

Forgive me, I find this enormously funny and somehow justified! But then, I do hold grudges!

452 elcaro  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 6:47:35am

Evolution of the French Poodle, in real-time...

453 Flavia  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 6:59:05am

re: #53 Ringo the Gringo

This is from The Onion...right?

That was my husband's reaction, too!

I am still laughing too hard to really comment

(Ok, I know that poodles can be big (they even pull dogsleds)
& are generally vicious - but this is just too perfect!)

454 Ezekiel2517  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 8:50:01am

In honor of this attack, the breed should be renamed the Freedom Poodle!

455 iminfidel  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 12:06:16pm

Honey, come here and watch Frenchie lick my face...OUch You little bastard. Quick honey call the Ministry of Defense. Call the Department of Justice. Call the Socialized Health Care Minister. Make an appointment for my reconstruction. In the mean time call for some aspirin, I'm sure the shortage has been relieved by now.

456 NortonPete  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 1:13:46pm

I had many dogs all large breed dogs, all rescues. Ten years ago I was confronted with the need to adopt a 6 lb, 10 year old toothless Maltese because a neighbor had passed away. At the time I had a Rhodesian Ridgeback and a Rottweiler mix. Both these dogs were over 90 lbs and enjoyed tearing apart large stuffed animals and would scare anyone who didn't know them. They were actually very controllable and never caused any trouble. I believed the Maltese would last about a half hour but the dog was going to be put down because know one wanted him. It took about a day for the Maltese to back both the Ridgeback and the Rott mix into their respective corners. The dog took over simply with a stare. We still have the dog 20 years old, he is now blind but God forbid you try to cross him.

457 lifeobs  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 7:02:04pm

I hope the poor dog doesn't catch anything from that cheese eating surrender monkey!

458 smileynyc  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 7:07:32pm

I'd thought it would be a depressing news week. And then.. such great news!

Thank you Mr. Depressed Poodle, you really cheered me up!

459 smileynyc  Fri, Jan 23, 2009 7:08:06pm

re: #454 Ezekiel2517

Yes!


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