And don't forget about Volume 2! If you'd like to contribute to V2, be sure to email reine your recipes!

I want a "Lizards Can Cook" show on Food Network.

re: #1 Sharmuta

And don't forget about Volume 2! If you'd like to contribute to V2, be sure to email reine your recipes!

Will do!

Yes indeedy, some very yummy gastronomic delights await.

I only eat porridge.

re: #1 Sharmuta

And don't forget about Volume 2! If you'd like to contribute to V2, be sure to email reine your recipes!

Reine?

You can find Reine's email address at the link above on the right sidebar, Lizards

re: #7 Sharmuta

You can find Reine's email address at the link above on the right sidebar, Lizards

niiice.

re: #6 NYCHardhat

reine.de.tout

Its not just a wonderful collection of recipes - the front cover and the back cover alone are well worth shelling out for!

Amazing art work - and if you like reading while you eat - one of the best pun threads is there in print as well.

Introducing “Barack Obama Academy”

[Link: michellemalkin.com...]

A commenter at SFGate.com diagnoses the problem perfectly: “If the name of the school, rather than the achievement of educational excellence, is the motivating factor for the kids then the school is very much like its namesake…lots of slogans, lots of hype, no substance.”

re: #5 So?

I only eat porridge.

Porridge?

And not just recipes, Lizards. If there is funny comment from the blog you think should be enshrined in the ROTF section, be sure to send that into reine as well.

This time, I will contribute my grilled salmon recipe.

Unless that's already covered.

Too Good to not get a "DO OVER"

[Link: littlegreenfootballs.com...]

re: #14 Noam Sayin'

Send it in. Volume 1 has two recipes for Wassail, so duplicates are not an issue.

re: #14 Noam Sayin'

I want your recipe on grilling Brussels' sprouts.

Every Lizard minion should have one.

re: #17 MandyManners

Oh, yes. The grilled brussels sprouts... Definitely.

What's wassail?

re: #20 Noam Sayin'

Order Volume One and you'll find out.

cool

(Hint: it's a booze drink)

Oh, yesss!
Please purchase your Vol 1, you won't be sorry.
We wanted to include a Snuggie and a Sham-wow with all purchases, but alas, it didn't work out.
But the book is well worth it.

And we are collecting recipes and publish-worthy comments, etc., for VOLUME 2; Jaunte has some brand-new art planned!

And maybe we can work out that snuggie/sham-wow thing.

Don't forget..Buy a couple extra cookbooks..They make great minor gifts during the year for friends and family.. you know, like that great aunt you see once every 5 years and it's her Birthday...ship a lizard Cookbook!

Reine- when are you thinking of cutting off submissions?

Oh, and click my nic anytime to get to the cookbook "stuff", and also to find my e-mail addys.

The cook book also has one of my all-time favorites as the first page 'prayer'. By Sharmuta:
"Oh lord, grant me the seasonings to roast the trolls, the courage to break bread with honest opponents, and the wisdom to know the difference."
A timeless mantra for the Lizardim. Bowing deeply.

re: #26 Sharmuta

Reine- when are you thinking of cutting off submissions?

don't know yet.
Probably when I reach 70 received, I will set a deadline for submissions.

Right now I have about 30 for Vol 2

re: #11 Nevergiveup

Crazy. What does it look like to carry oneself Barak-like?

re: #2 Ward Cleaver

I want a "Lizards Can Cook" show on Food Network.

They already have a "Pigs Can Cook" show, it's called "Rachael Ray".

re: #20 Noam Sayin'

What's wassail?

Something you drink at Christmas. That's all I know.

re: #14 Noam Sayin'

This time, I will contribute my grilled salmon recipe.

Unless that's already covered.

No, PLEASE send it in.

I'm also hoping Killgore will send in his secret to making one pork-chop last for 5 days.

re: #28 callahan23

That was just a rewrite of the original and retired LGF Prayer.

re: #24 reine.de.tout

Oh, yesss!
Please purchase your Vol 1, you won't be sorry.
We wanted to include a Snuggie and a Sham-wow with all purchases, but alas, it didn't work out.
But the book is well worth it.

And we are collecting recipes and publish-worthy comments, etc., for VOLUME 2; Jaunte has some brand-new art planned!

And maybe we can work out that snuggie/sham-wow thing.

I think there should be a section on Why I picked my Nic..
It would be a fun little read...

re: #24 reine.de.tout

Do you still have my egg goop recipe?

re: #24 reine.de.tout

Oh, yesss!
Please purchase your Vol 1, you won't be sorry.
We wanted to include a Snuggie and a Sham-wow with all purchases, but alas, it didn't work out.
But the book is well worth it.

And we are collecting recipes and publish-worthy comments, etc., for VOLUME 2; Jaunte has some brand-new art planned!

And maybe we can work out that snuggie/sham-wow thing.

I just got mine this week. It is great--can't wait to cook.

re: #10 yma o hyd

Its not just a wonderful collection of recipes - the front cover and the back cover alone are well worth shelling out for!

Amazing art work - and if you like reading while you eat - one of the best pun threads is there in print as well.

Don't forget Mandy's instructions for how a lady fills the gas tank in her car.

re: #36 MandyManners

Do you still have my egg goop recipe?

YES. Will be included in Vol 2.

re: #32 Ward Cleaver

Something you drink at Christmas. That's all I know.

We drank it at Thanksgiving in my family. Mine is my Grandmother's recipe, but was credited to Jemima.

re: #34 Sharmuta

That was just a rewrite of the original and retired LGF Prayer.

Charles, why was the prayer retired? I thought it was wisdom for the ages. I miss seeing it at the top of all the threads.

re: #20 Noam Sayin'

What's wassail?

It is a drink served warm at Christmas. Depending on how strong you make it, it could warm you up or knock you on your butt.

re: #40 Sharmuta

We drank it at Thanksgiving in my family. Mine is my Grandmother's recipe, but was credited to Jemima.

SORRY!
Flak Music and I have also laid out plans for better proofing this time around.
We have some experience now.

re: #35 HoosierHoops

I think there should be a section on Why I picked my Nic..
It would be a fun little read...

Send it in.
I would love to have FurryOldGuyJeans' story, too.

re: #43 reine.de.tout

Do you have an Osso Bucco recipe yet?

re: #24 reine.de.tout

Oh, yesss!
Please purchase your Vol 1, you won't be sorry.
We wanted to include a Snuggie and a Sham-wow with all purchases, but alas, it didn't work out.
But the book is well worth it.

And we are collecting recipes and publish-worthy comments, etc., for VOLUME 2; Jaunte has some brand-new art planned!

And maybe we can work out that snuggie/sham-wow thing.

Just as long as the Sham-wow guy didn't use the Snuggie. Ick!

re: #5 So?

I only eat porridge.

It's a sunny morning in the big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty!

"Who's been eating my porridge?!" he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty!

"Who's been eating my porridge?!" he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams:

"For Heaven's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? I haven't even started making the damn the porridge yet!"

re: #36 MandyManners

Do you still have my egg goop recipe?

Mmmm... egg goop.

re: #45 pat

Do you have an Osso Bucco recipe yet?

Nope.
Send it in.

re: #43 reine.de.tout

SORRY!
Flak Music and I have also laid out plans for better proofing this time around.
We have some experience now.

Also don't forget the serving sizes.. I know you had to guess the last time..
I found it telling you put the serving size for my Robert Redford pie at 2..
Everybody knows its one.. :)

Cooking with Lizards

Is that like cooking with chicken? Crab perhaps?

re: #43 reine.de.tout

How about I just submit it again?

re: #44 reine.de.tout

Send it in.
I would love to have FurryOldGuyJeans' story, too.

LOL
Me too..Some nics are so obscure and you just know there is a good story behind it.

I'm going to buy one on payday. I don't cook much any more, though I CAN, I swear, but maybe this will encourage me to do so.

re: #46 livefreeor die

Just in case you missed it ...

Sham Wow guy in Slap, Chop Bust

I'm definitely going to buy one. I'm also going to submit my grandmother's Mint Brownies recipe and an all purpose spice rub that probably would be good for trolls as well.

re: #55 pink freud

Just in case you missed it ...

Sham Wow guy in Slap, Chop Bust

That's what I was thinking about when I saw Sham Wom and Snuggie in the same sentence. :)

just ordered one.

re: #51 yesandno

Is that like cooking with chicken? Crab perhaps?

Cannibalism!

re: #55 pink freud

Just in case you missed it ...

Sham Wow guy in Slap, Chop Bust

good thing he didn't get his nuts slap chopped.

A funny retort from gmsc last night:

Look for his two newest product promotions: ThamWow and ThlapChop!

re: #59 songbird

Cannibalism!

Hey You! hope you are well!

re: #62 HoosierHoops

Hey You! hope you are well!

I'm good! Just came back from singing our National Anthem at a very nice local political convention. I'm running our local Tax Day Tea Party. My son is visiting from Seattle. My daughter has Winterguard Championships today, and I move to the east coast in 8 weeks!

Whew!

re: #63 songbird

I'm good! Just came back from singing our National Anthem at a very nice local political convention. I'm running our local Tax Day Tea Party. My son is visiting from Seattle. My daughter has Winterguard Championships today, and I move to the east coast in 8 weeks!

Whew!

Thats wonderful...Miss seeing you post here sometimes..But I know you are extremely busy

I'm going to have to make a submission to this next go around.

Écureuil Frittes a la Huckabee.

Reine, How do you feel about recipies that use canned goods?
I like to make things where I use i can of ___ and two of ___
and Two tablespoons of say "Patak's curry paste"
Is it ok to submit that kind of thing?

re: #66 Karagush

I don't think it's a problem. Send it in!

I'm an official member of the LGF Cookbook Volume 2 Brute Squad, so just send in recipes, or I will have to yell at you guys later.

Will the next edition be called "To Serve Man?"

I'm going to send in my husband's recipe for Greek meatballs. Super easy and delicious.

I'm so lame. If my dinner doesn't arrive from my mother-in-law nightly in the form of a care package inside Tupperware, or if there's nothing from Costco in the freezer to microwave, then out comes the stack of phone numbers for delivery options.

A big joke with our friends is that we have this really nice big kitchen with one of those hanging rack things with a bunch of pots and pans hanging from it. Upon closer inspection, you will see that the UPC tags are still affixed to the bottom of most of those. This is no joke, our stove has only been used maybe three times in six years. I don't think the oven has ever been used.

It's rather embarrassing actually. I think I will place a comprehensive cooking course on my bucket list. Then again, I've even caused a fire in the microwave, so maybe it's not such a good idea.

re: #67 Sharmuta

I don't think it's a problem. Send it in!

i call them "dump recipies." dump a can of this and then a can of that...
I like cooking things that throw together easily. I have a super easy delicious recipe for "Lamb vindaloo that even your 8 year old wife couldnt mess up" and some addictive refrigerator pickles, that are good within a day! and a couple other specials that are so easy its crazy. Throw together like a charm, and people think you are a genius!

re: #71 Karagush

Send them in!

re: #2 Ward Cleaver

I want a "Lizards Can Cook" show on Food Network.

Eek! The way that network has been going, you'd end up with some sex-talking Cajun cooking alligator every week. Unless they catch some newts or salamanders.

re: #2 Ward Cleaver

I want a "Lizards Can Cook" show on Food Network.

that would be hilarious! can you imagine TFK cooking for a show?
or Kragar's episode?
Or Sharmie's?
OMG ROFLMAO! that might be a show worth watching.

Here's a great bread recipe. I'm making this today to go with dinner.

17.5 oz bread flour
1 packet yeast
2 tsp kosher salt
Mix that up in a bowl, then add:

1 scant tsp apple cider vinegar
1 12oz bottle of dark beer (I use Guinness) warmed up to about 100 degrees F, or room temp.

Mix together and turn out onto a floured surface. Knead for about 8 minutes, adding a bit more flour as needed. Form into a ball and place in a lightly oiled bowl, and lightly coat the dough with oil. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and let rise until doubled, about 2 hours.

Knock it down, remove from bowl, and form into a ball again. Place it on a clean kitchen towel dusted with corn meal. Put more corn meal on top and fold the towel over. Let it rise about 1 more hour until it is a nice size.

Here's the killer part that makes this so good.

Heat up a large cast iron or enamel-coated cast iron dutch oven in your oven at 450F, lid and all. Use a lower rack so the dutch oven is centered as much as possible inside your oven. If you have a plastic handle on your dutch oven, remove it or do what I did, replace it with a brass handle from the hardware store. Take the smokin' hot dutch oven out when the oven comes to temperature and carefully place the dough into the center of the pot. Cover with the lid and plop back in the hot oven for 30 minutes. Remove lid and cook for approximately 20 more minutes or until the internal temp of the bread loaf measures about 210F, but not less than 208F. That is important.

The loaf will have a very crispy crust and you'll definitely want to use a sharp serrated knife to cut this with. Enjoy!

re: #74 Karagush

I'm laughing at the idea of me having a cooking show!

re: #75 Northpaw

Email this to reine!

re: #77 Sharmuta

Email this to reine!

Done!

re: #49 reine.de.tout

Nope.
Send it in.

done

re: #66 Karagush

Reine, How do you feel about recipies that use canned goods?
I like to make things where I use i can of ___ and two of ___
and Two tablespoons of say "Patak's curry paste"
Is it ok to submit that kind of thing?

YES!

Anybody do "Chicken Fried Rice" yet?

I haven't tried anything from the 1st book, but there are some recipes that look very good.

Just sent in 3 recipes for book 2.

re: #80 reine.de.tout

YES!

awesome reine i have some good ideas for you then.

re: #70 mfarmer1

A big joke with our friends is that we have this really nice big kitchen with one of those hanging rack things with a bunch of pots and pans hanging from it. Upon closer inspection, you will see that the UPC tags are still affixed to the bottom of most of those. This is no joke, our stove has only been used maybe three times in six years. I don't think the oven has ever been used.

It's rather embarrassing actually. I think I will place a comprehensive cooking course on my bucket list. Then again, I've even caused a fire in the microwave, so maybe it's not such a good idea.

Don't feel bad- my fiance' cooks less than I do, and she buys the high dollar 'Calaphon' cookware. She had toaster strudel catch fire, and I'm no better since I made fudge with double the condensed milk so it was more 'fudge soup'.

re: #11 Nevergiveup

Frakkin' Cult of Personality...

I'm definitely going to submit a couple of recipes for Vol. 2, I sadly missed the deadline for Vol.1.

re: #60 FrogMarch

I think she bit him because he was waiting for her with baited breath...

Stupid-easy oyster stew OK?

Just send in the recipes, Lizards.

I tried to order one while my sister was here (using her credit card since I don't have one), but couldn't change the shipping method from UPS Second Day (or the one around $16, anyway). Since I'm not willing to pay more for the shipping than for the book itself, it looks like I remain cookbook-less. Curses!

re: #89 Sharmuta

Just send in the recipes, Lizards.

Already got my sweet cornbread recipe in for #2.

OMG, "To Serve Lizards" is a cookbook!

Cool!

Another troll recipe:

First, either carefully remove the troll brain (you might need a microscope for this), or just chop off the head at its thick neck. You must not eat the brain; they sometimes contain a brain wasting disease.
Remove its bleeding heart; this can be a messy job.
Tenderize with a clue-by-four
Marinate for at least two hours or up to a day in a marinade made of a good whine; "Chateau 'Charles I'm tired of these creation threads' '09" is a good vintage.
Most troll buttocks are quite tough and need slow cooking; smoke over your choice of wood and herbs until tender.

Are there any recipies for sea kittens? If so, I might be interested.

I can haz gamey buttocks ?

Just kidding !