France Terrified of Lance

Sports • Views: 1,625

The French have found a technicality they think will let them keep Lance Armstrong out of the Tour de France this year.

Seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong could soon face disciplinary proceedings from the French anti-doping agency AFLD, following what it says was improper behaviour during an anti-doping test carried out on 17 March 2009.

In a statement issued today, the AFLD said that Armstrong did not obey the rules of the World Anti-doping Agency’s International Standard of Testing, specifically Article 5.4.1, which states that the person being subjected to an anti-doping control must remain within the sight of the doping control officer from the time of notification until the sample is collected.

The AFLD release stated that the UCI has already confirmed its right to open disciplinary proceedings against the American. “Via a letter dated April 8 sent to the Agency, President Pat McQuaid has, in his response, stated that the combined interpretation of the world [WADA] code and UCI anti-doping regulation conferred upon the AFLD the jurisdiction to open possible disciplinary proceedings against Mr. Lance Armstrong.”

The WADA code article in question states, “when initial contact is made, the ADO [anti-doping official], DCO [doping control organisation] or Chaperone, as applicable, shall ensure that the Athlete and/or a third party (if required in accordance with Clause 5.3.8) is informed…. of the Athlete’s responsibilities, including the requirement to… remain within direct observation of the DCO/Chaperone at all times from the point of notification by the DCO/Chaperone until the completion of the Sample collection procedure.”

Earlier this week, Armstrong responded to news that the AFLD had raised objections to the incident. He issued a statement saying that he and team manager Johan Bruyneel were attempting to verify the validity of the person requesting the samples and Armstrong was permitted to leave.

“We told the tester we wanted to check with the UCI to confirm who he was and to make sure he wasn’t just some French guy with a backpack and some equipment to take my blood and urine.

“Johan stayed with him and in his presence called the UCI to find out what was going on. We asked if it was OK for me to run inside and shower while they made their calls and the tester said that was fine.”

Jump to bottom

416 comments
1 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:33:17am

I hope he heals quickly and stronger. Viva Lance.

Fuck the French

2 SasquatchOnSteroids  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:33:22am

What is Fwance NOT terrified of ?

3 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:33:41am

Lance should just tell the French to pound le sand & start his own tournament here in America.

4 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:33:57am

You mean they haven’t surrendered to Lance yet?

5 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:33:57am

Tight butts drive me nuts.

6 Sharmuta  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:34:20am

I’ve always found the yellow jersey to be a bit ironic.

7 Gearhead  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:34:26am

Hoping the Bureaucrat Line will protect them from the onslaught.

8 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:34:41am

re: #5 MandyManners

Tight butts drive me nuts.

Me too.:)

9 Adrenalyn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:34:43am

upding for the rhyme
in the title

10 Adrenalyn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:35:06am

re: #6 Sharmuta

I’ve always found the yellow jersey to be a bit ironic.

he can always wear a white flag as a do-rag

11 HoosierHoops  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:35:25am

This story pissed me off this morning…
They take blood, urine and hair samples.. So what’s the matter with a quick shower? He should have made the tester take one with him I guess.

12 Mr. In get Mr. Out  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:36:13am

re: #3 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey

Lance should just tell the French to pound le sand & start his own tournament here in America.

That does sound like a good plan.

13 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:36:14am

Fear de Lance!

14 Adrenalyn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:36:17am

re: #3 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey

Lance should just tell the French to pound le sand & start his own tournament here in America.

actually, he graced the tourney in Sacramento this year

and it will see more airplay next year as a result

15 Sharmuta  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:36:24am

Oh- and GO LANCE! You da man!

16 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:36:41am

re: #11 HoosierHoops

This story pissed me off this morning…
They take blood, urine and hair samples.. So what’s the matter with a quick shower? He should have made the tester take one with him I guess.

Please tell me why we liberated France? I have forgotten.

17 joncelli  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:36:44am

Could Lance have participated in the Tour anyway? I thought his collarbone was toast.

18 JohnnyReb  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:36:48am

They got him on a technicality, just like they got John Dillinger on tax evasion. They must want a Frenchman to win the darn thing!

19 ConservatismNow!  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:36:56am

They are just upset that Lance still has more balls than them

20 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:37:33am

re: #13 jcm

Fear de Lance!

Hello JCM from a fellow Seattle/Everett Lizard!

21 Bloodnok  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:37:55am

Don’t tell me Lance showed them a Certificate of Live Birth instead of a Birth Certificate…..

/

22 opnion  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:38:02am

Hey, this guy beat cancer, the French won’t intimidate him.

23 realwest  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:38:19am

re: #11 HoosierHoops

This story pissed me off this morning…
They take blood, urine and hair samples.. So what’s the matter with a quick shower? He should have made the tester take one with him I guess.


Not that there’d be anything wrong with that!
/

24 HoosierHoops  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:38:29am

re: #16 Erik The Red

Please tell me why we liberated France? I have forgotten.

The Food, Cheese and whine..er..I mean wine

25 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:38:36am

re: #1 Erik The Red

Fuck the French

No thanks, I hear they don’t shave their armpits.

26 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:38:47am

re: #14 Adrenalyn

actually, he graced the tourney in Sacramento this year

and it will see more airplay next year as a result

Cool. I keep hoping he’ll do the U.S. Pro Cycling Championship here in Philly some year.

27 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:38:50am

re: #16 Erik The Red

Please tell me why we liberated France? I have forgotten.

Good cheese and wine.

28 realwest  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:39:28am

re: #18 JohnnyReb
Um, they got Dillenger with some Thompson submachine guns.
I think you meant Al Capone.

29 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:39:28am

re: #24 HoosierHoops

The Food, Cheese and whine..er..I mean wine

Don’t we have our own snails and frogs?

30 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:39:28am

re: #25 Ford_Prefect

No thanks, I hear they don’t shave their armpits.

You fuck armpits? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

31 Sharmuta  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:39:58am

re: #21 Bloodnok

Don’t tell me Lance showed them a Certificate of Live Birth instead of a Birth Certificate…..

/

LMAO

32 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:40:01am

re: #30 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey

You fuck armpits? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Hey! Don’t judge me.

33 JohnnyReb  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:40:01am

re: #28 realwest

Um, they got Dillenger with some Thompson submachine guns.
I think you meant Al Capone.


Oops, that was who I meant, thanks for the assist.

34 calcajun  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:40:04am

It’s easy to ban Lance. The race is for humans and there is some dispute as to whether Lance is an extra-terrestrial and not from Texas.

35 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:40:36am

re: #30 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey

*shaking head*

36 acwgusa  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:40:42am

Sacre Bleu! We are tired of getting our hineys whupped!

37 opnion  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:40:45am

Obama can call Sarkozy & get this all taken care of.
He can say that Lance will tour Normany, if he can get the British & Germans to sign off.

38 calcajun  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:41:06am

re: #32 Ford_Prefect

Hey! Don’t judge me.

It’s what is in the armpit that matters.

39 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:41:12am

re: #30 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey

You fuck armpits? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I think that I’ll go down to Costco today and pick up the industrial-sized container of brain bleach. Thanks.

40 acwgusa  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:41:31am

re: #27 MandyManners

Good cheese and wine.

Well, it wasn’t for the bad cheese and whine!

41 realwest  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:41:50am

Well y’all it’s been grand as usual, but I gotta go now.
Hope you all have a great day and that I get the chance to see you all down the road!

42 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:42:50am

My kind of Bike Race

43 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:42:53am

Last I checked, Lance just doesn’t look like someone who was drugged up on muscle-enhancers. He just looks like a lean-mean aerodynamic bicycling machine.

Some people are just built for the sport they choose, Lance is one. Michael Phelps is another, lean tall slightly muscular/wiry, with huge hands and feet to propel himself through the water like a fish.

44 HoosierHoops  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:43:39am

re: #41 realwest

Well y’all it’s been grand as usual, but I gotta go now.
Hope you all have a great day and that I get the chance to see you all down the road!

Hey that’s not right! You don’t usually leave till 2pm.
I want my 18 minutes.. I paid for em..Get back here!
/Have a wonderful day…

45 Kragar  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:43:51am

re: #16 Erik The Red

Please tell me why we liberated France? I have forgotten.

It was in the way.

46 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:44:02am

I want to give France some of my urine.
I have a valid passport.
What do I do next?

/Also, will someone here bail me out of a French jail after I … heh … do?

47 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:44:07am

I don’t blame the French. The last time someone dominated the French like Lance has, they spend years goose-stepping around Paris.

48 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:44:32am

re: #27 MandyManners

Good cheese and wine.

The cheese is debatable, and lately France seems to put out its fair share of bad whine, too.

49 gitarfan  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:44:36am

Too bad the MLBPA wasn’t subject to such scrutiny several years ago. Go Lance!

50 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:44:51am

re: #20 Cygnus

Hello JCM from a fellow Seattle/Everett Lizard!

Hi back from another Geoduck!

51 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:45:18am

re: #47 razorbacker

I don’t blame the French. The last time someone dominated the French like Lance has, they spend years goose-stepping around Paris.

But that time the French Government cowered and said “sure Adolf, whatever you say Adolf”

52 [deleted]  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:45:31am
53 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:45:51am

re: #42 Erik The Red

DUDE! A little warning please!

54 wrenchwench  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:45:52am

From Lance’s twitter:

# Was winning the Tour seven times that offensive?!?43 minutes ago from TwitterBerry
55 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:46:28am

re: #50 jcm

Hi back from another Geoduck!

ribbit

56 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:47:03am
57 opnion  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:47:06am

Maybe if Armstrong agrees to ride a tricycle & gives some guy named Jean Claude a two mile head start, they’ll let him compete.

58 [deleted]  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:47:20am
59 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:47:30am

re: #42 Erik The Red

My kind of Bike Race

Fat Bottomed Girls, you make the rockin’ world go round!

60 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:47:41am

re: #53 Ford_Prefect

DUDE! A little warning please!

Study the URL before you click the link. … I did, and didn’t … heh

61 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:48:03am

re: #57 opnion

Maybe if Armstrong agrees to ride a tricycle & gives some guy named Jean Claude a two mile head start, they’ll let him compete.

He would still win.

62 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:48:03am

This is so nit picking obsessive compulsive!
If the tester, chaperone, gave him permission to shower, then the charge is moot. He should have followed Lance into the shower. They should be filing a formal charge against HIM instead, for not conforming to his job responsibilities according to the rule books.
This is just a ploy to deter Lance’s credibility. Lance, I hope is filing a countersuit.

63 FlightERDoc  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:48:05am

Of course: The only way a frog can win is by cheating….

64 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:48:30am

re: #5 MandyManners

Tight butts drive me nuts.

Same ;)

65 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:49:12am

re: #58 taxfreekiller

Re-Con Web Cams

[Link: www.arapahoebasin.com…]

SNOW LOCATED, REPORTS SENT TO AL GORE, NO RESPONSE YET!

Easter Skiing! Yay!
Yup, that Gorbal Warming is really killing off the ski areas.

66 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:49:24am

re: #42 Erik The Red

That’s gotta’ be the littlest penis in the world.

67 opnion  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:49:47am

re: #61 Ford_Prefect

He would still win.

Probably, but ze fwench would like ze odds, no?

68 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:49:58am

re: #55 pre-Boomer Marine brat

ribbit

Geoduck!

69 wrenchwench  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:50:05am

I think the Italians will be happy to host Lance:

Armstrong would however be able to ride the Giro d’Italia. The race organisers yesterday announced a modification to the route of stage 16, which now no longer crosses the border to France.
70 Kragar  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:50:20am

re: #5 MandyManners

Tight butts drive me nuts.

Dont tease, we all know you’re crazy for the sugarlumps

71 zelnaga  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:50:23am

DCO/Chaperone (during testing): I have to use the restroom. If you could excuse me for a bit.

DCO/Chaperone (after the restroom): I’m sorry, but since I was unable to directly observe you while I was in the restroom, you are hereby banned from the Tour de France!

72 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:50:40am

re: #63 FlightERDoc

Of course: The only way a frog can win is by cheating….

Now that’s just not fair. If they would only allow surrendering as an Olympic sport the French would win gold, silver and bronze every time.

73 karmic_inquisitor  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:51:12am

This sounds eerily similar to “He has missed a perfectly good opportunity to shut up.”

Only the French.

74 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:51:45am

re: #68 jcm

Geoduck!

What th’ heck are they?
I see shellfish, can’t identify the others.

75 wrenchwench  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:52:18am

And with any luck, Lance will be ready for the Italians:

Lance Armstrong’s Astana team expressed optimism Wednesday over his prospects of recovering from his broken collarbone in time to line up for next month’s Tour of Italy.

The seven-time Tour de France winner’s participation in the Giro, which starts on May 9 was thrown into doubt after he required surgery following his fall in the Vuelta Castilla y Leon race in Spain on March 25.

The Texan had a stainless steel plate and 12 screws inserted to stabilize his right collarbone, which was broken in four places, but is now back in training.

And an Astana spokesman told the BBC: “He will try to take part.

“It’s not 100 percent but we’re optimistic he will take part. He’s got a lot of pain but it’s a good sign he’s training.”

The spokesman also confirmed the 37-year-old’s expected participation in the Tour de France in July.

“Before the injury he had targeted a top-10 finish in the Giro. That is probably not possible now but maybe riding the Giro will be beneficial for the Tour de France.”

Giro organizers say Armstrong intended to meet victims of the earthquake that struck the Abruzzo region when the race passed through the area on May 27.

76 opnion  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:53:07am

re: #72 Ford_Prefect

Now that’s just not fair. If they would only allow surrendering as an Olympic sport the French would win gold, silver and bronze every time.

Yes & the French would use combat mouse & tassled combat boots, with wrinkle free uniforms, to look great while raising hands to surrender.

77 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:53:17am

re: #72 Ford_Prefect

Now that’s just not fair. If they would only allow surrendering as an Olympic sport the French would win gold, silver and bronze every time.

Well they would win once, and then after that they wouldn’t technicaly be “France” any more.

That’s too bad, because their ancient tribe, the Franks were badasses, Medieval France were badasses too, So was Napoleon.

After that they turned to shite.

78 reloadingisnotahobby  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:53:17am

He can’t scare me!
……..His girl friend? She’s a diff… story!

79 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:53:48am

re: #68 jcm

Geoduck!

Repulsive but amazing. I watched a guy and his 2 kids dig for one once. The hole they dug must have been 3 feet deep and he was down in it headfirst trying to get the thing out. I have photographs of the entire operation. Too funny!

80 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:03am

re: #78 reloadingisnotahobby

He can’t scare me!
……..His girl friend? She’s a diff… story!

Just wait until she starts waving her single square of toilet paper around!

81 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:08am

re: #75 wrenchwench

And with any luck, Lance will be ready for the Italians:

Looks like he was, and undoubtedly is still … screwed.

82 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:11am

re: #70 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Dont tease, we all know you’re crazy for the sugarlumps



LOL! My sugar-lumps?

83 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:14am

re: #53 Ford_Prefect

DUDE! A little warning please!

Sorry in my excitement I forgot the NSFW tag.

84 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:15am

re: #74 pre-Boomer Marine brat

What th’ heck are they?
I see shellfish, can’t identify the others.

Two Geoduck in the picture…. What you are looking at…..

85 Bubblehead II  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:22am

Lance Armstrong drug test ‘butchered’ hair cut

*snip*

Armstrong said it was the 24th anti-doping test he had undergone since coming out of retirement in September, but the first time he had ever been asked to provide a hair sample. Armstrong complained over its effect on his haircut, saying he’d been ‘‘butchered.’’

*snip*

That works out to about three tests per month. They really are clutching at straws.

86 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:50am

re: #25 Ford_Prefect

No thanks, I hear they don’t shave their armpitsany body hair whatsoever.

fixed.

87 Mad Mullah  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:55am

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

The Army.

88 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:54:58am

re: #79 Cygnus

Repulsive but amazing. I watched a guy and his 2 kids dig for one once. The hole they dug must have been 3 feet deep and he was down in it headfirst trying to get the thing out. I have photographs of the entire operation. Too funny!

Buggers dig fast too, they can burrow about as fast as you can dig after them.

89 Kragar  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:55:22am

re: #87 Mad Mullah

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

The Army.

Or a biological weapon attack

90 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:56:01am

re: #84 jcm

Two Geoduck in the picture…. What you are looking at…..

ah HA!
Okey dokey. Thanks!

91 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:56:04am

re: #89 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Or a biological weapon attack

Eeww! What’s that smell?

92 wrenchwench  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:56:17am

More from Lance:

“I did not try to evade or delay the testing process that day. I had just returned from an all day training session, wasn’t sure who this French man at my home was, and as soon as the UCI confirmed that he was authorized to conduct the tests, I let him take all the samples he requested.’

I find it amazing that I’ve been tested 24 times without incident and the first test I do in France results in more outrageous allegations and negative leaks to the press.

“This is just another example of the improper behavior by the French laboratory and the French anti-doping organizations. I am sorry that they are disappointed that all the tests were negative, but I do not use any prohibited drugs or substances.”

According to the AFLD, the sample-taker warned Armstrong that he would compile a report about his attitude and pass it on to the sport’s governing body the International Cycling Union (UCI).

“The UCI does not have jurisdiction to judge this case,” said UCI press officer Enrico Carpani, referring to articles nine and 13 of the organization’s anti-doping legislation.

“As it concerns a test carried out by a national agency that happened outside of competition, it’s the agency which has the authority.”

The AFLD will await a response from the UCI before deciding whether or not Armstrong’s behavior constitutes an infringement of the world anti-doping code.

93 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:56:21am

re: #89 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Or a biological weapon attack

Heh, reminds me of the Napoleon vs Joe Pesci Celebrity Deathmatch.

94 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:56:35am

re: #88 jcm

Buggers dig fast too, they can burrow about as fast as you can dig after them.

That’s what happened to this guy. He finally managed to extract the geoduck - it really wasn’t that large for all the work he put into it.

95 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:56:40am

French gun for sale: never fired, dropped once.

96 opnion  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:56:48am

How do you know when an Air France plane is overhead?
You just look for the hair under the wings.

97 Pupdawg  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:57:06am

AFLD, French anti-doping agency! Did Obama pass their tests last trip to? Nah, he’s still One!

98 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:57:31am

I’m glad Walter isn’t here.

99 SixDegrees  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:57:54am

When you can’t win…rig the game.

100 lifeofthemind  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:57:58am

In unrelated news from 911 A.D., 6 Danish Tourists get blotto and bust up Paris, France surrenders 5% of its territory. Fast forward to 1815, an unemployed Italian lands on the Mediterranean coast, proceeds to conquer the entire country without firing a shot.

101 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:58:12am

What is the favorite hymn in French churches?

“I Surrender All”.

102 Mad Al-Jaffee  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:58:17am

I heard that Armstrong tested positive for three substances that are illegal in France:

Soap
Deodorant
Testosterone

103 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:58:32am

re: #98 MandyManners

I’m glad Walter isn’t here.

But we miss his candor on the Fwench. He luvs them.

104 pat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:58:33am

disqusting
Maybe should adopt Obamadiolomacy. Apologize for the previous victories and declare that when he wins he will award the medal to a Frenchman.

105 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:58:48am

re: #91 notutopia

Eeww! What’s that smell?

What’s that smell?

106 CyanSnowHawk  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 10:59:51am

re: #16 Erik The Red

Please tell me why we liberated France? I have forgotten.

It is part of the American nature to allow someone to try and to fail, then help them to succeed. We chafe at those that ask before trying.

107 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:00:00am

re: #99 SixDegrees

When you can’t win…rig the game.

Sounds like a good campaign strategy…oh, wait…that’s been done.

108 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:00:03am

re: #105 Ford_Prefect

What’s that smell?

I adore Pepe le pew cartoons!

109 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:01:25am

re: #87 Mad Mullah

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

The Army.



The Completely Military History of France
-1

Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by, of all things, an Italian.

Norse Invasions: Lost. King Charles the Simple buys peace with the Norsemen by giving them Normandy.

Moorish Invasions: Lost. Charlemagne scoots behind the Pyrennes.

Third Crusade: Philip Augustus gets mad at Richard the Lion Heart and goes home.

Seventh Crusade: Lost. St. Louis’ crusade to Egypt resoundingly crushed.

Eighth Crusade: Lost. St. Louis goes to Tunis.

Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates the
First Rule of French Warfare: France’s armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.

Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution: Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

St. Bartholomew Day Massacre: Won, because the opponent was also French.

The Dutch War: Tied.

War of the Augsburg League/King William’s War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as de Gaulle Syndrome, and leads to the
Second Rule of French Warfare: France only wins when America does most of the fighting.
This was part of a much larger worldwide war against the British, which the French lost since the Americans weren’t participants.

French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. France introduces the world to the guillotine and the Terror.

Quasi-War: Tied. France, angry that the US normalized relations with the British, seizes US ships in the Caribbean and decrees war on American shipping worldwide. France conveniently ignores that the US and France have a treaty of alliance that effectively makes the US a subject state of France. American envoys in Paris are told that they must pay a $250,000 bribe to the French Foreign Minister and a $10,000,000 “loan” to France before the French will even consider negotiations (XYZ Affair). US refuses to pay, builds up a navy which promptly seizes 80 French ships, and continues to sue for peace. Delighted British offer aid to the US against the French. Ends when Napoleon seizes power in Paris and abandons North America. Napoleon also agrees to abrogate the unequal treaty of alliance, making the US truly independent for the first time. Produces the
First Rule of American Diplomacy: You’ll regret making any alliance with the French.
The US makes no other treaties of alliance for nearly 150 years.

Haitian Rebellion: Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a European army by African slaves, and produces the
First Rule of African Warfare: We can always beat the French.

The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

India: Lost, to the British.

110 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:01:59am

re: #50 jcmYou dig for gooey ducks? Eeewwwww

111 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:02:26am

The complete military history of France - 2

Mexican Empire War: Lost. Napoleon III takes advantage of US Civil War to invade Mexico. Collapse of the Confederacy dashes plans to invade Louisiana. Saber-rattling by reunified US leads to hasty French withdrawal, leaving puppet Austrian “Emperor of Mexico” to face a Mexican firing squad.

The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France’s ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

Panama Jungles: Lost, this time to vegetation and mosquitoes.

World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it’s like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn’t call her “Fraulein.” Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II (first act): Lost to the Germans. Conquered French liberated, against their will, by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

World War II (second act): Lost to the Italians. True, the Germans already had France on the ropes, but nevertheless France is the first and only country to ever lose three wars when fighting Italians!

World War II (third act): Won, primarily due to the fact that the opponent was also French: its Jewish population. Vichy government consistently gives Germans more than the Germans ask when it comes to anti-Semitic policies.

World War II (fourth act): Won, due to the fact that the opponent was a French woman. In what is perhaps the vilest act ever committed by any French government, the Vichy government guillotines Marie Latour for the “crime” of abortion.

World War II (fifth act): Lost, this time to the Americans in North Africa. Ostensibly independent collaborationist Vichy government immediately occupied by Hitler, putting to an end the myth of “unoccupied France.” Vichy remains popular with the French people until it became clear that Germany was losing the war.

World War II (sixth act): Reminiscent of the American Revolution, France claims a win even though the British and Americans did all the work (remember the Second Rule!) of liberating France, and the British, Americans, and especially the Russians did all the work of defeating Germany. France demands (and, amazingly, gets) a spot as one of the victorious Allies; and even more amazingly gets a permanent seat on the UN Security Council.

War of Indochina Independence: Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. The US, forgetting the First Rule of American Diplomacy, steps into the mess and spends the next 20 years getting out.

War of Algerian Independence: Lost after 8 brutal years of fighting. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the
First Rule of Muslim Warfare: We can always beat the French.
This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Haitians, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

Ivory Coast Conflict: On the way to losing (remember the First Rule of African Warfare!).

War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald’s. With fond memories of its World War II (third act) victories, forms new military alliance with Germany against the US.

60th Anniversary of D-Day: France repulses an invasion of elderly British veterans who seek to attend memorial ceremonies on the beaches of Normandy.

112 CyanSnowHawk  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:02:33am

re: #42 Erik The Red

My kind of Bike Race

Hey, how about a NSFW label.

/I know, naked should have been the tip off.

113 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:03:02am

re: #110 UberInfidel67

You dig for gooey ducks? Eeewwwww

What do you do with them after you dig them up?

114 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:03:20am

The Complete Military History of France

October, 2005: France passes a law making it mandatory for school textbooks to teach that French colonialism was “positive” (“school programs recognize in particular the positive character of the French overseas presence, notably in North Africa”). This provision is part of a law recognizing the “national contribution” of Frenchmen who colonized Algeria for 132 years and who fought on the losing side of the War of Algerian Independence (see above).

Today: The French government raises its terror alert level from run to hide. The only two higher levels in France are surrender and collaborate. The raise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed one of France’s white flag factories, disabling their military.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be

Can we count on the French?

but rather

How long until France collapses?

115 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:03:26am

top Google search result for “French military victories”

(notice my original capitalization — different from this page’s)

Now click the link “Did you mean: french military defeats
It’s quite a list.

116 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:03:58am

re: #113 notutopia

What do you do with them after you dig them up?

Cook and eat them. Yuck.

117 Killgore Trout  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:04:22am

OT: Bank stress test reports are starting to trickle in….
Banks Holding Up in Tests, but May Still Need Aid

What they are discovering may come as a relief to both the financial industry and the public: the banking industry, broadly speaking, seems to be in better shape than many people think, officials involved in the examinations say.

That is the good news. The bad news is that many of the largest American lenders, despite all those bailouts, probably need to be bailed out again, either by private investors or, more likely, the federal government. After receiving many millions, and in some cases, many billions of taxpayer dollars, banks still need more capital, these officials say.

118 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:04:28am

re: #112 CyanSnowHawk

Hey, how about a NSFW label.

/I know, naked should have been the tip off.

Once again sorry Snow. I forgot the tag.

119 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:04:34am

re: #116 Cygnus

Cook and eat them. Yuck.

NO?!?

120 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:04:37am

re: #115 pre-Boomer Marine brat

top Google search result for “French military victories”

(notice my original capitalization — different from this page’s)

Now click the link “Did you mean: french military defeats
It’s quite a list.

I like AlbinoBlackSheep, its a funny website.

121 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:04:46am

re: #113 notutopia
Eat em. Watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern sometime. Messy and muddy work.

122 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:05:39am

An old saying:

Raise your right hand if you like the French.
Raise both hands if you are French.

123 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:05:59am

re: #118 Erik The Red

Once again sorry Snow. I forgot the tag.

The boobies addled your brain.

124 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:06:13am

re: #112 CyanSnowHawk

Hi Cyan, Earlier this morning I was following one of Charles posts yesterday and ended up at the Kent Esq dude blog. I noticed you had an exchange with him. What a dope for using his real name anyway, he sounds so full of himself.

125 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:07:01am

re: #123 MandyManners

The boobies addled your brain.

did somebody say boobies?

126 Oh no...Sand People!  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:07:29am

re: #121 UberInfidel67

Eat em. Watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern sometime. Messy and muddy work.

[Link: www.taylorshellfishstore.com…]

Or you can order them! Good for what ails ya, boyo!

127 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:07:35am

re: #125 Hengineer

BOOB THREAD!

128 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:07:45am

re: #125 Hengineer

did somebody say boobies?

No.

129 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:07:52am

re: #121 UberInfidel67

Eat em. Watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern sometime. Messy and muddy work.

I swear I thought I’ve heard and seen just about everything edible possible, since I hail from New Orleans. But, I have never heard or seen this thing before. I WILL check this out.

130 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:07:54am

re: #123 MandyManners

The boobies addled your brain.

LOL. Something like that. :)

131 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:08:00am

If the French really want to win the Tour make everyone ride it backwards and place a German army unit at the starting line.

They couldn’t be beat.

132 reloadingisnotahobby  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:08:11am

re: #125 Hengineer

did somebody say boobies?

Ah shit…here we go!
LOL

133 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:08:26am

re: #110 UberInfidel67

You dig for gooey ducks? Eeewwwww

Clamming is good fun, I prefer Razor or Butter clams myself.

134 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:08:36am

re: #127 turn

BOOB THREAD!

Where do you buy boob thread, and what are you supposed to do with it?

135 Dainn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:09:20am

This surprises me not one bit. The French have been looking for any way to prove their evidenceless accusations that Lance was a drug user for years. They likely had a few people watching his every move to find something, anything that they could pin him on.

136 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:09:44am

re: #127 turn

BOOB THREAD!

I always have fond mammaries of these threads.

137 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:09:45am

Who said Boobies?

Happy Easter

NSFW

138 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:09:51am

re: #133 jcm

Clamming is good fun, I prefer Razor or Butter clams myself.

So do they taste like a clam? Are they rubbery in texture?

139 zombie  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:09:53am

“Can I got to the shower while we’re waiting?”

“Uhhhhh…Oui, Monsieur Lance. [Honh-honh-honh…!]

[Lance leaves room.]

“Aha! Vous avez violated les protocols! Gotcha!”

140 HoosierHoops  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:10:02am

Oh My..in about 15 more posts I’ll hit 10k posting..
I’m sorry I talk so much.. In real life I’m the same way..I’ll talk about anything with anyone.. My mom always said I’ve never met a stranger.

141 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:10:09am

re: #134 Ford_Prefect

Where do you buy boob thread, and what are you supposed to do with it?

I keep trying to floss with it and the turnwife is getting pretty annoyed with that.

142 reloadingisnotahobby  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:10:13am

re: #134 Ford_Prefect
What a great question!
I’ll get back to you on monday ……Weather will keep me in
most of the weekend!
LOL

143 zombie  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:10:23am

Can I got to the shower = Can I go to the shower

PIMF

144 Dainn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:10:26am

So if I read this right, the are accusing Lance of taking a shower.

145 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:10:42am

re: #136 DaddyG

I always have fond mammaries of these threads.

Better nip this in the bud.

146 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:10:56am

re: #120 Hengineer

I like AlbinoBlackSheep, its a funny website.

Are you aware that it’s been NOMinated?

147 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:10:58am

re: #140 HoosierHoops

Oh My..in about 15 more posts I’ll hit 10k posting..
I’m sorry I talk so much.. In real life I’m the same way..I’ll talk about anything with anyone.. My mom always said I’ve never met a stranger.

Start posting in Burma Shave fashion. You will get there quicker!

148 Oh no...Sand People!  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:11:04am

re: #144 Dainn

So if I read this right, the are accusing Lance of taking a shower.

Showers are criminal in France…

149 opnion  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:11:18am

re: #144 Dainn

So if I read this right, the are accusing Lance of taking a shower.

Capital crime in France.

150 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:11:19am

re: #138 notutopia

So do they taste like a clam? Are they rubbery in texture?

If they’re cooked properly no, but over cook ‘em and ya’ might as well gnaw on a tire.

151 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:11:26am

re: #137 Erik The Red

Who said Boobies?

Happy Easter

NSFW

That’s better.

The warning I mean.

The picture is wrong. Just wrong.

Damn, I hate it when I get drool on my keyboard.

152 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:11:40am

re: #144 Dainn

So if I read this right, the are accusing Lance of taking a shower.


A clear violation of Fwench etiquette.

153 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:11:51am

re: #116 Cygnus

Cook and eat them. Yuck.

They don’t taste good?

154 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:12:51am

re: #137 Erik The Red

Who said Boobies?

Happy Easter

NSFW

Oh, dear me.

155 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:13:09am

re: #140 HoosierHoops

Oh My..in about 15 more posts I’ll hit 10k posting..
I’m sorry I talk so much.. In real life I’m the same way..I’ll talk about anything with anyone.. My mom always said I’ve never met a stranger.

Go hoops! Man that’s a lot of yacking isn’t it?

156 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:13:22am

re: #154 MandyManners

Oh, dear me.

You started it.

157 OnTheRightSide  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:13:40am

How many times have the French tried to smear Lance’s name? What is this like the fourth time or something?

158 CyanSnowHawk  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:13:46am

re: #124 turn

Hi Cyan, Earlier this morning I was following one of Charles posts yesterday and ended up at the Kent Esq dude blog. I noticed you had an exchange with him. What a dope for using his real name anyway, he sounds so full of himself.

His behavior was almost typical of some of the stalkers, and I just wanted to point that out. I felt a little guilty about using the Thrutch comment thread to carry on about it so I ended it after a few. I would imagine that he might be looking closer at me now, but I don’t know if I did enough to trigger a stalk. I haven’t seen anything come through on the Raptor yet and I moderate it so it won’t be a problem.

159 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:06am

re: #156 Hengineer

You started it.

What? Is George Bush here?

160 Killgore Trout  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:13am

re: #139 zombie

Thanks for your response last night regarding my question about Nesara. It’s too bad we don’t know more about them but it looks like they are getting involved so we might see more of them around. I’m fascinated.

161 reloadingisnotahobby  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:16am

re: #155 turn

Now if you could only post something relevent………….!
Kidding!
Go Man ,Go!

162 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:17am

re: #157 OnTheRightSide

How many times have the French tried to smear Lance’s name? What is this like the fourth time or something?

Considering he won 7 times, this would make it about 7 I think.

163 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:37am

re: #137 Erik The Red

Who said Boobies?

Happy Easter

NSFW

OMG, I’m going to send that to turnspawn right now!

164 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:41am

re: #137 Erik The Red

Who said Boobies?

Happy Easter

NSFW

Are those solid chocolate or hollow Easter bunnies?

165 Ford_Prefect  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:43am

re: #157 OnTheRightSide

How many times have the French tried to smear Lance’s name? What is this like the fourth time or something?

How many times has he won the race? I would imagine the numbers are shockingly similar.

166 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:53am

re: #159 Ford_Prefect

What? Is George Bush here?

You would rather have a bush thread? Oh yea, we WERE talking about France earlier.

167 OnTheRightSide  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:14:59am

re: #162 Hengineer

Thanks

168 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:16:01am

re: #164 DaddyG

Are those solid chocolate or hollow Easter bunnies?

Gotta have a bit of a taste to find out!

169 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:16:09am

re: #156 Hengineer

You started it.

I didn’t post any titillating links.

170 reloadingisnotahobby  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:16:15am

re: #166 Hengineer

Never drop below boobs or abs……It’s a no,no!

171 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:16:20am

re: #154 MandyManners

Oh, dear me.

OK for the girls.

NSFW

172 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:16:39am

Between Erik the Red’s easter bunnies and lunchtime on the west coast the thread has slowed to a crawl.

173 Mad Al-Jaffee  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:16:43am

re: #134 Ford_Prefect

Where do you buy boob thread, and what are you supposed to do with it?

Make the best bikini top ever from it?

174 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:16:53am

re: #169 MandyManners

I didn’t post any titillating links.

hehehehe

She said Tit!

175 CyanSnowHawk  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:16:55am

re: #134 Ford_Prefect

Where do you buy boob thread, and what are you supposed to do with it?

Oh no, now the door is open for the fetishists. Good going Ford.

176 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:17:05am

re: #164 DaddyG

Are those solid chocolate or hollow Easter bunnies?

At least they look authentic and not siliconed.

177 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:17:07am

By popular demand: More French jokes.

178 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:17:34am

re: #174 jcm

hehehehe

She said Tit!

*snicker*!

179 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:17:43am

re: #117 Killgore Trout

As I understand it, and naturally I’m just relying on various intraweb postings, the ‘worst case’ senario is eeriely similar to what is now happening.

Unemployment ‘rockets up’ to 8.9% It’s already 8.5%. Just for one example.

180 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:17:45am

re: #177 Cygnus

By popular demand: More French jokes.


Since when was this a blog about millitary strategy?

181 reloadingisnotahobby  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:18:23am

re: #178 pre-Boomer Marine brat

Are you blushing?
You ARE Blushing!

182 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:18:24am

re: #164 DaddyG

Are those solid chocolate or hollow Easter bunnies?

They’re definitely white chocolate. Good grief.

183 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:18:51am

re: #158 CyanSnowHawk

The guy must be whacked, who the hell would invest all that time and energy writing a blog of the history of LGF and your eventual banning anyway? Get on with it, shessh. I have no experience with the stalker thing, stay safe.

184 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:19:06am

re: #182 Cygnus

They’re definitely white chocolate. Good grief.

I prefer mine without nuts.

185 CyanSnowHawk  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:19:09am

re: #137 Erik The Red

Who said Boobies?

Happy Easter

NSFW

Can she wiggle those things like a bunnies nose?

186 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:19:26am

re: #2 SasquatchOnSteroids

What is Fwance NOT terrified of ?

Iranian money?

187 Killgore Trout  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:20:01am

re: #179 razorbacker

I’ve seen criticism that the stress tests aren’t rigorous enough. Since the tests are secret I’m not sure how people arrive at the conclusion. Even if they weren’t secret it’s far too complicated for me to understand. I guess I’ll just watch it unfold and hope for the best.

188 Hengineer  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:20:19am

re: #184 DaddyG

I prefer mine without nuts.

However I’ll take a creamy center.

189 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:20:22am

re: #137 Erik The Red

Who said Boobies?

Happy Easter

NSFW

Added to my favorites to look at after work.

190 zombie  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:20:51am

re: #160 Killgore Trout

Thanks for your response last night regarding my question about Nesara. It’s too bad we don’t know more about them but it looks like they are getting involved so we might see more of them around. I’m fascinated.

During the End Times, all the freakazoid cults emerge.

We’re watching history evolving before our eyes. We witnessed the crazy fringe left take over the “liberal” side of the ideological aisle. Now that the power tables are reversed in Washington, we may witness the reverse happening on the right.

I’m reminded of the whole Militia Movement during the early Clinton era.

191 Mad Mullah  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:21:00am

Here’s a video from a recent incident in France entitled “Arabs and Africans savage anti-Whites attack on a public bus in Paris in France”.

My French speaking friend who regularly watches and follows the French news told me that they are now going after the person who uploaded the video. I fully expect the French to build a statue in honor of the attackers.

France is right at the bottom of my list of places to go and see, right along with Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan etc.

192 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:21:10am

Clinton says Somali pirates’ lifeboat out of gas

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said on Thursday the lifeboat on which a U.S. captain was being held hostage by Somali pirates had “apparently” run out of gas.

I suppose were going to offer them some gas as a gesture of good faith.

193 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:22:25am

re: #177 Cygnus

By popular demand: More French jokes.

Thanks! The Schiffer joke was on the old francestinks web site. I really miss that place.

francestinks had a graphic of a Concorde striking the Eiffel Tower, with an inset of Bush on the phone, talking to Chirac. I downloaded it, but haven’t been able to find it on the Web since francestinks shut down. Do you know if it’s out there?

194 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:22:57am

re: #53 Ford_Prefect

DUDE! A little warning please!

I always hover over the link first, to read the URL. It’s safer that way.

195 CyanSnowHawk  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:23:01am

re: #192 jcm

Clinton says Somali pirates’ lifeboat out of gas

I suppose were going to offer them some gas as a gesture of good faith.

How about some Taco Bell. They can make their own gas.

196 reloadingisnotahobby  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:23:02am

re: #192 jcm

She would know……right?
Blonde and all……………..oops!
Exit stage ……….right!

197 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:23:14am

re: #192 jcm

Clinton says Somali pirates’ lifeboat out of gas

I suppose were going to offer them some gas as a gesture of good faith.

And a match?

198 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:23:21am

Isn’t this tactic that the French are using the same as Obama used in previous elections. Eliminating opponents thru technicalities?
Maybe Obama did some OJT training for them while he was over there.
Now that I think of it, that’s probably why he didn’t have time to go to Normandy….
/

199 notutopia  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:23:26am

Catch ya’ll later. All this talk of fwench, I’m craving Madelines and cafe au lait. Going to bake up a batch.
BBL.

200 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:23:46am

re: #181 reloadingisnotahobby

Are you blushing?
You ARE Blushing!

Are you kidding?
You ARE kidding!

/spent 4 years in the Navy … heh

201 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:23:52am

re: #187 Killgore Trout

I’ve seen criticism that the stress tests aren’t rigorous enough. Since the tests are secret I’m not sure how people arrive at the conclusion. Even if they weren’t secret it’s far too complicated for me to understand. I guess I’ll just watch it unfold and hope for the best.

A secret may be kept by as many as two people, as long as one of them is dead.

202 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:24:21am

re: #194 Ward Cleaver

I always hover over the link first, to read the URL. It’s safer that way.

How do you you do that?

203 sleepyone  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:24:31am

All of this talk of drug testing reminded me of the Whizzinator. A prosthetic penis with dried urine that you could use in the presence of a drug testor and supposedly they wouldn’t notice. I think a pro football player was caught using one. I also believe the company went out of business but there are competitors: “Executive Ultra Realistic Kit”

204 Killgore Trout  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:24:34am

re: #190 zombie


We’re watching history evolving before our eyes. We witnessed the crazy fringe left take over the “liberal” side of the ideological aisle. Now that the power tables are reversed in Washington, we may witness the reverse happening on the right.

I’m reminded of the whole Militia Movement during the early Clinton era.


I think that’s exactly what we are seeing. I did expect this but I’m really surprised at how fast it happened. Just a few short months. I guess the economic crisis excellence the process.

205 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:24:43am

re: #195 CyanSnowHawk

How about some Taco Bell. They can make their own gas.

Some orders of the Pintos & Cheese ought to do it.

206 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:25:23am

Gorsh. Suddenly I’ve got this song in my head.

*Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail…*

207 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:25:36am

re: #192 jcm

Clinton says Somali pirates’ lifeboat out of gas


I suppose were going to offer them some gas as a gesture of good faith.


I think that’s a great idea. CS gas, specifically, just before the Seals climb aboard.

208 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:25:42am

re: #171 Erik The Red

Oh, dear.

209 Honorary Yooper  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:25:56am

re: #204 Killgore Trout

I think that’s exactly what we are seeing. I did expect this but I’m really surprised at how fast it happened. Just a few short months. I guess the economic crisis excellence the process.

Since it has happened this fast, it may burn itself out just as fast.

210 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:26:12am

re: #202 Erik The Red

How do you you do that?

Assuming you have the status bar turned on in your browser, you move the cursor over the link, then read the URL in the lower left-hand corner.

211 Killgore Trout  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:26:18am

re: #201 razorbacker


A secret may be kept by as many as two people, as long as one of them is dead.


True. I’m also suspicious of the leaks and preliminary reports. Everyone has an agenda, especially the leakers.

212 Jack Burton  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:26:22am

re: #139 zombie

“Uhhhhh…Oui, Monsieur Lance. [Honh-honh-honh…!]

Maurice Chevalier does drug testing for Tour de France?

213 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:26:34am

re: #206 razorbacker

Gorsh. Suddenly I’ve got this song in my head.

*Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail…*

Hippity-hoppity Easter’s on its way.

214 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:26:40am

re: #206 razorbacker

Gorsh. Suddenly I’ve got this song in my head.

*Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail…*

Translated into Latin, that is the sacred chant of the Hare Club for Men.

215 Dainn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:27:16am

I thought Lance was out this year anyways after his broken clavicle. Is he able to complete again?

216 Russkilitlover  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:27:19am

re: #48 Hengineer

The cheese is debatable, and lately France seems to put out its fair share of bad whine, too.

Dom Perignon. Always the best. I was given a bottle for Christmas and I’m popping it open this weekend. Hubby doesn’t like Champagne. Hee Hee, it’s all for me!

217 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:27:52am

re: #207 Occasional Reader

I think that’s a great idea. CS gas, specifically, just before the Seals climb aboard.

After dark, can’t we just have some SEALs swim over, pop up, and cap the bad guys?

218 Cygnus  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:28:02am

Speaking of hopping, I need to get going.
A Happy Passover to all!

219 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:28:09am

re: #210 Ward Cleaver

Assuming you have the status bar turned on in your browser, you move the cursor over the link, then read the URL in the lower left-hand corner.

This internet is amazing. You learn something new everyday.

220 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:28:23am

re: #216 Russkilitlover

Dom Perignon. Always the best. I was given a bottle for Christmas and I’m popping it open this weekend. Hubby doesn’t like Champagne. Hee Hee, it’s all for me!

Those champagne hangovers are murder.

221 Killgore Trout  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:28:44am

re: #209 Honorary Yooper

I was thinking that too. Glenn Beck is so over the top insane that I can’t imagine that he and his audience can maintain the hysteria. It’s like the shock-jock DJ’s; they have too keep getting more and more outrageous or the audience gets bored. Eventually they go too far or get too dull. It’s really tough to maintain.

222 Olderthandirt  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:28:48am

This reminds me of my favorite line from “Animal House:” “You fucked up, you believed me!” Yep, believing anything a Frenchman, or Frenchwoman, says is so wrong in so many ways!

BTW: Nappy Bony was a Corsican, almost Italian that is. The “Off with his head” crowd was all French and look how well they did, NOT!

223 keggin  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:28:49am

It’s not like the French have a rider, much less a team that’s going to challenge for a podium position. What a bunch of bitter has beens.

224 wrenchwench  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:28:56am

re: #215 Dainn

I thought Lance was out this year anyways after his broken clavicle. Is he able to complete again?

See #75.

225 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:29:23am

re: #217 Ward Cleaver

After dark, can’t we just have some SEALs swim over, pop up, and cap the bad guys?

As I’ve said before; if we don’t do something like that… if we really do wind up with high-level negotiations, leading to ANY kind of “deal” with four frickkin’ Somali pirates sitting in a lifeboat with one hostage and no gas… we might as well pack it in as a “superpower”.

TIME TO RANGER UP, MR. OBAMA.

226 CyanSnowHawk  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:29:56am

re: #215 Dainn

I thought Lance was out this year anyways after his broken clavicle. Is he able to complete again?

Lance is a bit of a freak. I think he has the Wolverine gene.

227 IslandLibertarian  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:30:20am

Who can concentrate of France or Lance when there’s SPRING FEVER in the sidebar.

Yea, capitalism!

228 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:30:28am

re: #217 Ward Cleaver

After dark, can’t we just have some SEALs swim over, pop up, and cap the bad guys?

You are assuming killing the pirates is consider an option in DC.

If any body inside the beltway had any sense as of this morning there wouldn’t be a pirate boat left afloat, and their shore facilities would be smokin’ holes.

The way it’s being played guarantees will have more pirate incidents.

229 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:31:09am

This competition concept is so “previous administration”.

Why shouldn’t Lance accept being among the top 20 now, instead of being THE leader, or worse, a winner?

What is this concept, winning on the merits?

Didn’t Lance get the memo on Change?

230 Buck  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:31:38am

During the “shower” Lance could have switched his blood and urine by doing a complete blood transfusion and injecting clean urine into his bladder…


ITS POSSIBLE! YOU DON’T KNOW!


/is the sarc tag really needed?

231 rawmuse  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:31:52am

re: #228 jcm

We need some Pirate Sensitivity classes.

232 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:32:03am

re: #206 razorbacker

Gorsh. Suddenly I’ve got this song in my head.

*Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail…*

…trip, crash!

233 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:32:14am

re: #221 Killgore Trout

I was thinking that too. Glenn Beck is so over the top insane that I can’t imagine that he and his audience can maintain the hysteria. It’s like the shock-jock DJ’s; they have too keep getting more and more outrageous or the audience gets bored. Eventually they go too far or get too dull. It’s really tough to maintain.

I don’t know about that, tell me HTF Olberman is still on cable? That guy is bat shit insane yet the audience is still there. I didn’t follow you and zomb’s posts upthread but I get the gist America is getting polarized to the extreme.

234 Dainn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:32:37am

re: #224 wrenchwench

See #75.

Thanks. Missed it. Wow, ready for the Giro? Now you know the French will think he’s taking drugs.

And here I am home “sick” with a strained back.

235 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:32:42am

re: #225 Occasional Reader

As I’ve said before; if we don’t do something like that… if we really do wind up with high-level negotiations, leading to ANY kind of “deal” with four frickkin’ Somali pirates sitting in a lifeboat with one hostage and no gas… we might as well pack it in as a “superpower”.

TIME TO RANGER UP, MR. OBAMA.

* * * *
Isn’t Jesse Jackson available to handle these assignments anymore?

236 avanti  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:32:51am

Iran ready to talk, not much hope, but who knows.

Iran.

237 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:33:04am

Another sign that perhaps prices of luxury goods may drop.

The Daughter just bought a new Marshall AS50R amp for $150.

238 Mad Al-Jaffee  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:33:10am

I just remembered the worst 0 posted I saw for sale in DC. It’s the iconic red and blue portrait of Dear Leader, but instead of “Hope” or “Change” it says “Destiny.”

239 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:33:32am

re: #209 Honorary Yooper

Since it has happened this fast, it may burn itself out just as fast.


Just don’t say “radical militias” and “burn out” together around Janet Reno.

240 Russkilitlover  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:33:54am

re: #220 Ward Cleaver

Those champagne hangovers are murder.

That’s why I like Dom. It does make a huge difference. I haven’t been able to afford this particular guilty pleasure for a while, so I will be sipping it from brunch on…..

241 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:35:04am

re: #226 CyanSnowHawk

O’Reilly had a bit on last night about this [Link: images.search.yahoo.com…]
Your picture reminded me of it.

242 rawmuse  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:35:08am

re: #238 Mad Al-Jaffee

I just remembered the worst 0 posted I saw for sale in DC. It’s the iconic red and blue portrait of Dear Leader, but instead of “Hope” or “Change” it says “Destiny.”

In San Francisco, there is a big Obama “Change” poster on an abandoned gas station lot, and the lot is surrounded by concertina wire. I thought it was emblematic. It is on 6th and Harrison.

243 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:35:27am

re: #239 DaddyG

Just don’t say “radical militias” and “burn out” together around Janet Reno.

I must be sick ‘cause I’m laughing.

244 HoosierHoops  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:36:12am

Washington DC (AP) Dateline 4-9-09
A letter was recieved by the Obama White House from the Somali Pirates asking for a government bail-out of 1 Billion Dollars.
White House Spokesman Gibbs said that Obama is considering the request.
” Letting some pirate operations fail is out of the question..It’s too big to fail”
Word on the Hill is that Congress may consider a cap and trade program.

245 FrogMarch  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:36:20am

Essentially, a French drug tester shows up at Lance’s door, unannounced.
I do not trust the French drug testers anyway.

246 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:36:58am

re: #242 rawmuse

In San Francisco, there is a big Obama “Change” poster on an abandoned gas station lot, and the lot is surrounded by concertina wire. I thought it was emblematic. It is on 6th and Harrison.

Get that photo! Sounds classic.

I did wind up with some nice pics of Obama “change” posters that had been trampled underfoot and mixed with street trash, the day after the Inauguration.

247 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:37:22am

re: #245 FrogMarch

Essentially, a French drug tester shows up at Lance’s door, unannounced.
I do not trust the French drug testers anyway.

Or the shover robot!

248 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:37:47am

re: #236 avanti

Iran ready to talk, not much hope, but who knows.

Iran.

Avanti why do you think dinnerjacket wrote a long “why can’t we all just get along” letter to Bush but hasn’t written one to O?

249 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:38:01am

re: #243 MandyManners

I must be sick ‘cause I’m laughing.

You are crazy - but it is my kind of crazy!

250 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:39:43am

re: #231 rawmuse

We need some Pirate Sensitivity classes.

ARRRH! Matey! Piracy be ah valid alternative lifestyle it be! Avast that judgementalism!

251 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:40:36am

re: #192 jcm

Clinton says Somali pirates’ lifeboat out of gas


I suppose were going to offer them some gas as a gesture of good faith.

If they were good environmentalists they would be using wind power….

Come to think of it, if we can’t generate the outrage to deal with them as pirates, perhaps we can generate the requisite outrage because they are intent on polluting the earth rather than using sailing ships.
At my command….”Unleash hell….er, I mean Al Gore”
/

252 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:41:36am

re: #243 MandyManners

I must be sick ‘cause I’m laughing.

Speaking of sick - couldn’t this lady have the courtesy to yell, “Geronimo!”?

New York City Woman Jumps to Death, Lands on Teen Shopper at Mall

253 FrogMarch  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:41:48am

Imagine if some French drug tester arrived, unannounced, at YOUR doorstep to take your bodily fluids.

and in Lance’s case, he gave his bodily fluids! He and his crew just wanted to verify who the hell this guy was. /mercy.

/we all know the French drug labs have such an honest honorable system in dealing with old frozen blood samples.

254 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:42:10am

re: #236 avanti

Iran ready to talk, not much hope, but who knows.

Iran.

Talk while the centrifuges spin.

State and the Administration are being played. It’s the way things work in Iran. Offer talks, spend the 6 months discussing the parameters of the talks, another 6 months talking. In the end Iran says the US is being unreasonable and walks away.

They just bought another year to work on their program.

255 Mike DeGuzman  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:42:34am

24 HoosierHoops
re: #16 Erik The Red
Please tell me why we liberated France? I have forgotten.
The Food, Cheese and whine..er..I mean wine

You mean, the women with hairy armpits!

256 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:42:44am

re: #225 Occasional Reader

As I’ve said before; if we don’t do something like that… if we really do wind up with high-level negotiations, leading to ANY kind of “deal” with four frickkin’ Somali pirates sitting in a lifeboat with one hostage and no gas… we might as well pack it in as a “superpower”.

TIME TO RANGER UP, MR. OBAMA.

Mark Krikorian says it well at NRO:

It seems to me the pirate situation is a clearer test of our mettle for world leaders than other foreign-policy challenges so far. Other examples are more ambiguous: for example, we should have just shot the Nork missile test down, but South Korea didn’t want us to and that complicates things. But the pirate standoff is small and unambiguous — this is the first pirate attack on an American ship since the last time jihadis tried it, in 1804, and if every one of those pirates on the lifeboat isn’t sleeping with the fishes within the next day or two, then the ChiComs, the ayatollahs, Putin, and the rest will figure they were right about Obama’s effete diffidence and will act accordingly. On the other hand, if our destroyer sends the pirates to their deaths, combined with the fact the American crew — the unarmed crew — actually took back the ship from the pirates, Flight 93-style, then the world’s rogues might think twice in the future, the way that Reagan’s reaction to the PATCO strike had salutary foreign-policy consequences.

257 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:43:33am

OT
Attorney General Eric Holder & President Obama Terrified of 4 Somali Pirates

258 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:43:59am

re: #225 Occasional Reader

As I’ve said before; if we don’t do something like that… if we really do wind up with high-level negotiations, leading to ANY kind of “deal” with four frickkin’ Somali pirates sitting in a lifeboat with one hostage and no gas… we might as well pack it in as a “superpower”.

TIME TO RANGER UP, MR. OBAMA.

He’d have to man up first.

/president wuss

259 essayons7  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:44:08am

Man, they just can’t get off this guy’s back, can they? I thought his recent injuries would keep him out, no?

260 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:44:47am

re: #126 Oh no…Sand People!
No way in hell! ACK!

261 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:45:23am

re: #255 Mike DeGuzman


You mean, the women with hairy armpits!

Not, by any means, all of them.

When French women are good, they’re very, very good. (And when they’re bad, they’re better… hat tip, Mae West.)

262 Russkilitlover  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:45:39am

re: #256 Occasional Reader

Obama’s effete diffidence

Oh, OUCH! That really nails Obama. Effete - perfect word for him. That’s what we got leading America. Thanks for posting that - good find.

263 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:45:46am

The 0bama administration has decided how to deal with the pirates.
They’re sending the RIAA after them.
“Well, they’re always going after pirates of one kind or another”
/

264 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:45:54am

re: #253 FrogMarch

Imagine if some French drug tester arrived, unannounced, at YOUR doorstep to take your bodily fluids.

and in Lance’s case, he gave his bodily fluids! He and his crew just wanted to verify who the hell this guy was. /mercy.

/we all know the French drug labs have such an honest honorable system in dealing with old frozen blood samples.

* * * *
If ACORN union thugs arrive at your doorstep to take your census…Ooo La La.
Well, it would be a shame if anything happens to you.

265 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:46:09am

re: #259 essayons7

Man, they just can’t get off this guy’s back, can they? I thought his recent injuries would keep him out, no?

His orthopod put screws and a plate in, and they’re monitoring his training to see how it’s affecting the handiwork. Lance toughed it out through chemo and radiation; he can survive this.

266 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:47:00am

re: #252 Ward Cleaver

Speaking of sick - couldn’t this lady have the courtesy to yell, “Geronimo!”?

New York City Woman Jumps to Death, Lands on Teen Shopper at Mall

Aren’t there enough bridges?

267 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:48:27am

re: #264 alegrias

* * * *
If ACORN union thugs arrive at your doorstep to take your census…Ooo La La.
Well, it would be a shame if anything happens to you.

I tell them there are x number people in the house, you have 30 seconds to get of my property.

268 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:48:42am

re: #266 MandyManners

Aren’t there enough bridges?

Or shower rails, pills or a damn gun.

269 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:48:53am

re: #263 Kosh’s Shadow

The 0bama administration has decided how to deal with the pirates.
They’re sending the RIAA after them.
“Well, they’re always going after pirates of one kind or another”
/

If I were the pirates, I’d be terrified.

/oh no, not process servers!

270 WindHorse  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:49:42am

re: #266 MandyManners

…she had been shopping with two teenagers….

(two teenagers who now will require years of therapy)

271 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:50:03am

re: #252 Ward Cleaver

Speaking of sick - couldn’t this lady have the courtesy to yell, “Geronimo!”?

New York City Woman Jumps to Death, Lands on Teen Shopper at Mall

It was all a horrible misunderstanding. She was seen leaving the Sharper Image with a new flight pillow.

272 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:50:12am

re: #267 jcm

I tell them there are x number people in the house, you have 30 seconds to get of my property.

And the count already started.

273 FrogMarch  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:50:16am

re: #264 alegrias

* * * *
If ACORN union thugs arrive at your doorstep to take your census…Ooo La La.
Well, it would be a shame if anything happens to you.

“ACORN union thugs” .

/what a nightmare

274 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:50:43am

re: #271 DaddyG

It was all a horrible misunderstanding. She was seen leaving the Sharper Image with a new flight pillow.

You’re worse than I am. LOL!

275 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:50:52am

wow, the DOW’s up 236.

276 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:50:56am

re: #270 WindHorse

…she had been shopping with two teenagers….

(two teenagers who now will require years of therapy)


Oh wow! I don’t know if I should cry or make a joke about going to the mall with teenagers.

Poor kids.

277 MarineMomSue  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:51:08am

re: #217 Ward Cleaver

Look at the huge upside to this situation.
* The SEALS could be tried for murder later
* murtha could get some grandstanding in as he rants about how the SEALS murdered the poor pirates in cold blood
*0 can announce a newly formed commission to investigate the terrorist tactics employed by the U.S. Military and then apologize to the pirate-thug union for the overreaction by the USA

Everybody goes home home happy, right? That is how it seems to work these days.

278 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:51:25am

re: #270 WindHorse

…she had been shopping with two teenagers….

(two teenagers who now will require years of therapy)

Yes, very sad.

279 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:51:26am

Jeb Bush says “We all want Pres. Obama to succeed”; (and please Mr. President stop blaming everything on the previous administration; do your duties); excerpted from upcoming 1st of 2 interviews on Fox News.

280 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:51:55am

Couple is out for a drive and run over the Easter bunny. They know it’s him because of the checked waistcoat and the big basket.

Stricken, the man doesn’t know what to do. Killed the Easter bunny. That ain’t agonna look so good.

The woman simply opens her purse, takes out a spray can and sprays the bunny. It jumps back up, hops a couple of steps and turns and waves, hops a couple of steps and turns and waves, hops a couple of steps and turns and waves.

Man looks at the spray can. “Revives dead hare, gives it a permanent wave.”

281 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:52:11am

re: #277 MarineMomSue

Look at the huge upside to this situation.
* The SEALS could be tried for murder later
* murtha could get some grandstanding in as he rants about how the SEALS murdered the poor pirates in cold blood
*0 can announce a newly formed commission to investigate the terrorist tactics employed by the U.S. Military and then apologize to the pirate-thug union for the overreaction by the USA

Everybody goes home home happy, right? That is how it seems to work these days.

And the pirates get posthumous citizenship!

282 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:52:43am

re: #273 FrogMarch

“ACORN union thugs” .

/what a nightmare

* * * *
Relax, they’re from the government and are here to take your census.

283 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:53:13am

re: #281 Ward Cleaver

And the pirates get posthumous citizenship!

And vote Obama in ‘12!

284 freedombilly  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:53:35am

The most tested athlete in the history of sport and he has never failed anything. That is a pretty good record.

The UCI are a bunch of punks. May he be allowed to race and kick all of their asses again. And may France go another 20 years without a single legitimate contender to win their precious race.

285 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:53:55am

re: #206 razorbacker

Gorsh. Suddenly I’ve got this song in my head.

*Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail…*

Damn you. Now I can’t get the song out of my head…….
/

286 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:54:05am

re: #281 Ward Cleaver

And the pirates get posthumous citizenship!

And are registered to vote Democrat in several states.

287 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:54:20am

The pirates just sent out a press bulletin demanding the removal of the “Credit Report dot com” commercials from the airwaves, claiming defamation of character.

288 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:54:38am

re: #280 razorbacker

Couple is out for a drive and run over the Easter bunny. They know it’s him because of the checked waistcoat and the big basket.

Stricken, the man doesn’t know what to do. Killed the Easter bunny. That ain’t agonna look so good.

The woman simply opens her purse, takes out a spray can and sprays the bunny. It jumps back up, hops a couple of steps and turns and waves, hops a couple of steps and turns and waves, hops a couple of steps and turns and waves.

Man looks at the spray can. “Revives dead hare, gives it a permanent wave.”

BIG UPDING!

289 MarineMomSue  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:55:04am

re: #281 Ward Cleaver

And the pirates get posthumous citizenship!

good idea… all their extended family could also be given visa’s.. (the immigration document AND the plastic $$ )

290 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:55:06am

re: #285 LGoPs

Damn you. Now I can’t get the song out of my head…….
/

Hop.


291 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:55:15am

re: #282 alegrias

* * * *
Relax, they’re from the government and are here to take your census away your vote.

FIFY

292 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:55:25am

re: #282 alegrias

* * * *
Relax, they’re from the government and are here to take your census.

Last census I got the long form, I put down how many people, and nothing else. I got a visit from a census worker to get the rest of the information. I looked at the guy and said get a subpoena. He could not understand how I could not answer the questions, he was from the government!

293 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:55:37am

re: #287 DaddyG

The pirates just sent out a press bulletin demanding the removal of the “Credit Report dot com” commercials from the airwaves, claiming defamation of character.

Besides, they sing waaaay better than that guy!

294 Macker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:56:51am

re: #284 freedombilly

By then it’ll be called the Tour de Eurabia.

295 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:56:58am

re: #289 MarineMomSue

good idea… all their extended family could also be given visa’s.. (the immigration document AND the plastic $$ )

and the daughters could get free fertility treatment just like octomom …

296 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:56:59am

re: #293 Ward Cleaver

Besides, they sing waaaay better than that guy!

It’s damn catchy, though.

297 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:57:10am

re: #287 DaddyG

The pirates just sent out a press bulletin demanding the removal of the “Credit Report dot com” commercials from the airwaves, claiming defamation of character.

Now that, I can agree with. At least the pirates admit they’re pirates; “free credit report” hides the fact they’re out to charge for the credit reports.

298 The Shadow Do  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:57:24am

Just a simple misunderstanding. Francois the chaperone simply did not understand.

“What is zees thing, zees shower thing?” he was heard to mumble.

299 Ward Cleaver  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:57:39am

re: #279 alegrias

Jeb Bush says “We all want Pres. Obama to succeed at being a complete asshole loser”; (and please Mr. President stop blaming everything on the previous administration; do your duties); excerpted from upcoming 1st of 2 interviews on Fox News.

Fixed that for him.

300 MarineMomSue  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:58:14am

re: #295 turn

and the daughters could get free fertility treatment just like octomom …

endless upsides to this one!

301 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:58:53am

re: #291 LGoPs

FIFY

* * * *
Funny isn’t it, rigging the census then declaring one person, one vote is OPTIONAL. (one person, one vote, one time, is more like their objective)

Viva ACORN Unionistas, now new improved, part of your government and paid by you.

302 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:59:19am

re: #297 Kosh’s Shadow

Now that, I can agree with. At least the pirates admit they’re pirates; “free credit report” hides the fact they’re out to charge for the credit reports.

To be fair, with the exception of your dog’s devotion, you’re going to pay for most everything worth having.

303 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:59:20am
304 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 11:59:52am

Dear Prudence,
Last fall, I met a terrific woman from the Mediterranean who may be “the one.” She’s beautiful and has a great body that she likes to show off, but she is also very hairy. She never shaved back home, and having now been steeped in years of women’s studies in the United States, she has become militant about not conforming to the ideal of hairless womanhood. She can’t wait to spend lots of time at my parents’ beach house this summer. She has bought a tiny bikini that she plans on wearing,…

305 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:00:32pm

re: #301 alegrias

* * * *
Funny isn’t it, rigging the census then declaring one person, one vote is OPTIONAL. (one person, one vote, one time, is more like their objective)

Viva ACORN Unionistas, now new improved, part of your government and paid by you.

Read this. It ought to make your blood boil. It did mine…..
[Link: www.americanthinker.com…]

306 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:00:48pm

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”

My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”

Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”

He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.

307 IslandLibertarian  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:02:35pm

re: #304 MandyManners

Dear Hairified,
If she feels about you the way you feel about her, surely she wants to !snatch! this opportunity to make a good impression on your parents.

/it was right over the plate………..

308 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:03:15pm

re: #304 MandyManners

Dear Prudence,
Last fall, I met a terrific woman from the Mediterranean who may be “the one.” She’s beautiful and has a great body that she likes to show off, but she is also very hairy. She never shaved back home, and having now been steeped in years of women’s studies in the United States, she has become militant about not conforming to the ideal of hairless womanhood. She can’t wait to spend lots of time at my parents’ beach house this summer. She has bought a tiny bikini that she plans on wearing,…

Dear Hairified,
If she feels about you the way you feel about her, surely she wants to snatch this opportunity to make a good impression on your parents.

Did she really say that?

309 Honorary Yooper  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:03:18pm

re: #275 turn

wow, the DOW’s up 236.

“Good” news from the banks. Never mind it may only be a one-time thing as Wells Fargo got Wachovia’s assets, and can now beef up its own asset sheet for a little while.

310 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:03:36pm

re: #300 MarineMomSue

endless upsides to this one!

re: #304 MandyManners

surely she wants to snatch …

funny choice of words there

311 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:04:16pm

re: #307 IslandLibertarian

re: #308 jcm

Prudence is no prude.

312 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:04:34pm

re: #300 MarineMomSue

Sorry, I don’t know how turn screwed up and included you on that.

313 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:04:57pm

re: #310 turn

re: #304 MandyManners

surely she wants to snatch …

funny choice of words there

I wonder if she giggled when she wrote it.

314 Randall Gross  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:04:57pm

Phear de Lance

315 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:05:05pm

re: #304 MandyManners

Dear Prudence,
Last fall, I met a terrific woman from the Mediterranean who may be “the one.” She’s beautiful and has a great body that she likes to show off, but she is also very hairy. She never shaved back home, and having now been steeped in years of women’s studies in the United States, she has become militant about not conforming to the ideal of hairless womanhood. She can’t wait to spend lots of time at my parents’ beach house this summer. She has bought a tiny bikini that she plans on wearing,…

Okay, I looked.

Dear Hairified,
If she feels about you the way you feel about her, surely she wants to snatch this opportunity to make a good impression

[cough]

316 Mad Mullah  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:05:10pm

re: #286 Kosh’s Shadow

And are registered to vote Democrat in several states.

Even worse than giving citizenship to merely four pirates, is Obama’s actual plan: To give citizenship to possibly millions of illegals who will no doubt become lifelong supporters and voters for the man that helped these criminals.

317 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:05:41pm

re: #308 jcm

TMTA

(twisted minds think alike)

318 Ben Hur  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:05:47pm

They must be afraid of all the testosterone, etc he has to take because of his past sickness.

319 lurking faith  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:05:57pm

re: #62 notutopia

This is so nit picking obsessive compulsive!
If the tester, chaperone, gave him permission to shower, then the charge is moot. He should have followed Lance into the shower. They should be filing a formal charge against HIM instead, for not conforming to his job responsibilities according to the rule books.
This is just a ploy to deter Lance’s credibility. Lance, I hope is filing a countersuit.

Yep. I smell a set-up.

320 avanti  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:06:23pm

General Petraeus announces move of more military assets off the horn of Africa. (just now)

321 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:06:23pm

I suddenly feel the urge to pour myself a glass of Tang.

322 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:06:35pm

re: #304 MandyManners

Dear Prudence,
Last fall, I met a terrific woman from the Mediterranean who may be “the one.” She’s beautiful and has a great body that she likes to show off, but she is also very hairy. She never shaved back home, and having now been steeped in years of women’s studies in the United States, she has become militant about not conforming to the ideal of hairless womanhood. She can’t wait to spend lots of time at my parents’ beach house this summer. She has bought a tiny bikini that she plans on wearing,…

As long as she doesn’t go to the Pubic Library she should be ok…..
/

323 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:06:42pm

re: #317 Occasional Reader

TMTA

(twisted minds think alike)

I’m still cleaning lunch off my monitor!

324 Randall Gross  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:07:07pm

OT: Breaking
Petraeus states there will be increased US military presence in the horn of Africa w/in 48 hours. Did I call it right this am?

Tigerhawk has some speculation today about solving piracy, it’s much like what I said last year. In light of the need to “hawk” Obama up, this does present even more opportunity than the Taliban in Pakistan for Obama to appear strong without any geopolitical ramifications.

325 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:07:13pm

re: #320 avanti

General Petraeus announces move of more military assets off the horn of Africa. (just now)

Any specifics?

326 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:07:29pm

re: #309 Honorary Yooper

“Good” news from the banks. Never mind it may only be a one-time thing as Wells Fargo got Wachovia’s assets, and can now beef up its own asset sheet for a little while.

I bank at WF and they wouldn’t refinance my house for what I considered obvious fair market value. I had no problem refinancing though State Farm Insurance of all places. WF is tight, one of the reasons they are profitable.

327 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:08:10pm

re: #302 razorbacker

To be fair, with the exception of your dog’s devotion, you’re going to pay for most everything worth having.

I don’t complain that they charge for the reports; I complain that they do so while calling themselves “free credit report”.

328 avanti  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:08:31pm

re: #325 Occasional Reader

Any specifics?

“We want to assure we have all the capacity we need.”

329 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:08:34pm
330 Ben Hur  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:09:17pm

re: #320 avanti

General Petraeus announces move of more military assets off the horn of Africa. (just now)

That sucks.

We should let the rest of the world police the shipping lanes.

Or at least just cover our own ships.

Let Europe pay for their free access to the seas.

331 Wishing  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:09:34pm

re: #329 Erik The Red

That was right on topic!
/

332 FrogMarch  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:10:00pm

re: #282 alegrias

* * * *
Relax, they’re from the government and are here to take your census.

my census are belong to me.

333 DaddyG  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:10:11pm

re: #304 MandyManners

Dear Prudence,
Last fall, I met a terrific woman from the Mediterranean who may be “the one.” She’s beautiful and has a great body that she likes to show off, but she is also very hairy. She never shaved back home, and having now been steeped in years of women’s studies in the United States, she has become militant about not conforming to the ideal of hairless womanhood. She can’t wait to spend lots of time at my parents’ beach house this summer. She has bought a tiny bikini that she plans on wearing,…

Slip some Nair into her bathwater.

334 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:10:26pm

re: #330 Ben Hur


We should let the rest of the world police the shipping lanes.

And endanger our vital lifeline of Chinese melamine?!

335 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:10:41pm

re: #326 turn

I bank at WF and they wouldn’t refinance my house for what I considered obvious fair market value. I had no problem refinancing though State Farm Insurance of all places. WF is tight, one of the reasons they are profitable.

YMMV, as they say, but that’s the bank that called me this morning to tell me that they were going to refi my place for me.

336 WindHorse  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:12:16pm

Jon carrey wants to bloviate about pirates….. what men of action!

337 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:12:40pm

re: #334 Occasional Reader

And endanger our vital lifeline of Chinese melamine lead based products?!

Fixed it….

338 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:12:51pm

re: #327 Kosh’s Shadow

I don’t complain that they charge for the reports; I complain that they do so while calling themselves “free credit report”.

It’s like those places that say, “Your money back if not completely satisfied.”

If you try to get your money back they say, “No. We’re completely satisfied with your money.”

339 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:12:52pm

Robert Briggs the White House press secretary unserious as usual, announcing scheduling notes, while the USS Cole’s former Commander Kirk Lippold comments about the Somali pirate attack. on fox news cable

340 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:13:56pm

re: #330 Ben Hur
So now WE…the imperialistic, capitalistic pigs of the Great Satan are gonna protect all ships in the shipping lanes?

END THE OCCUPATION OF THE SHIPPING LANES!111

341 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:14:31pm

re: #329 Erik The Red

Real Bunnies

dang, I’ve been teaching the lab to chase the wrong bunnies all this time.

342 avanti  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:15:33pm

re: #339 alegrias

Robert Briggs the White House press secretary unserious as usual, announcing scheduling notes, while the USS Cole’s former Commander Kirk Lippold comments about the Somali pirate attack. on fox news cable

That’s a bit unfair. That’s the format of all press conferences, then the questions. The first one is about the pirates, a big two minute delay to get to it.

343 jwb7605  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:15:45pm

re: #337 LGoPs

Fixed it….

You shouldn’t have. Melamine was correct.

344 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:15:50pm

re: #340 UberInfidel67

So now WE…the imperialistic, capitalistic pigs of the Great Satan are gonna protect all ships in the shipping lanes?

END THE OCCUPATION OF THE SHIPPING LANES!111

Just wait until we blow some jihadis out of the water and we’re accused of bombing a wedding party.

345 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:15:55pm

re: #335 razorbacker

YMMV, as they say, but that’s the bank that called me this morning to tell me that they were going to refi my place for me.

Good for you. YMMV?

346 albusteve  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:16:00pm

re: #330 Ben Hur

That sucks.

We should let the rest of the world police the shipping lanes.

Or at least just cover our own ships.

Let Europe pay for their free access to the seas.

if we are determined to take on the roll of sea police then to hell with international law…it’s sheer folly to go about unarmed…private boaters know this all too well

347 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:16:01pm

re: #340 UberInfidel67

So now WE…the imperialistic, capitalistic pigs of the Great Satan are gonna protect all ships in the shipping lanes?

END THE OCCUPATION OF THE SHIPPING LANES!111

You forgot to add ‘running dog lackey’s’………..
/

348 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:16:30pm

Is that a giant SUCK-UP I hear?

349 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:16:54pm

re: #345 turn

Sorry. Your Mileage May Vary.

350 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:17:26pm

re: #344 MandyManners

Just wait until we blow some jihadis out of the water

Inshallah, habibi.

I’m not optimistic that’ll happen, when I think about who’s making the call.

351 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:17:42pm

re: #345 turn

Good for you. YMMV?

Your Mileage May Vary

352 Ben Hur  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:18:35pm

re: #344 MandyManners

Just wait until we blow some jihadis out of the water and we’re accused of bombing a wedding party.


It’s about effen time.

And it’s time to wipe out the Jajaweed.

Though I know saving Darfur isn’t as important as actors having a cause.

353 lurking faith  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:18:40pm

re: #223 keggin

It’s not like the French have a rider, much less a team that’s going to challenge for a podium position. What a bunch of bitter has beens.

They have LDS (Lance Derangement Syndrome).

354 Macker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:18:41pm

re: #344 MandyManners

Just wait until we blow some jihadis out of the water and we’re accused of bombing a wedding party.

You mean like this?

355 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:19:08pm

re: #344 MandyManners

A wedding party on a ship carrying baby milk?

356 Mad Al-Jaffee  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:19:29pm

re: #310 turn

Reminds me of the crime movie Snatch. When I heard there was a movie they were calling “Guy Ritchie’s Snatch,” I thought it was going to be about Madonna.

357 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:19:52pm

re: #352 Ben Hur

And it’s time to wipe out the Jajaweed.

Even worse are those fanatic supporters of annoying Star Wars characters, the JarJarweed.

358 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:19:53pm

re: #349 razorbacker

Thanks. I guess I could have used urban dictionary or something, I’m learning this stuff gradually. First one I ever learned was right here at LGF, oh and you know turn because it was PRIMF …

359 KenJen  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:20:07pm

re: #344 MandyManners

Just wait until we blow some jihadis out of the water and we’re accused of bombing a wedding party.


Just what I was thinking. We will also be accused of invading the ocean and occuping the seas.

360 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:20:10pm

We can see which side Putin is on:
Russia Offer Abbas Helicopters, Rifles for Emerging PA Army
Well, considering how well Hamas and Fatah get along, it looks like Hamas will have some targets for those Stingers they got that won’t shoot at Israeli Apaches.

361 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:20:15pm

re: #351 Occasional Reader

Thanks.

362 Creeping Eruption  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:20:42pm

re: #357 Occasional Reader

Even worse are those fanatic supporters of annoying Star Wars characters, the JarJarweed.

/ then the worst of all time: ditchditchweed

363 Russkilitlover  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:20:52pm

re: #309 Honorary Yooper

“Good” news from the banks. Never mind it may only be a one-time thing as Wells Fargo got Wachovia’s assets, and can now beef up its own asset sheet for a little while.

Plus they got those nasty underperforming loans offloaded from their books and onto the government so they can get more underperforming loans onto their books with the manufactured low interest rates, AND a $25 BILLION infusion from said government. It’s all good for the banks! Wells got to post a “record” profit. Record profit? Then WTF did they need the bailout for?!?!

Hey, all Wells Fargo customers: Are you seeing reduced bank fees?

364 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:21:00pm

re: #356 Mad Al-Jaffee

Reminds me of the crime movie Snatch. When I heard there was a movie they were calling “Guy Ritchie’s Snatch,” I thought it was going to be about Madonna.

That wasn’t a bad movie, actually.

And Brit lizards may correct me if I’m wrong, but I think they could “get away” with the title because “snatch” doesn’t have that meaning in Brit lexicon.

365 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:21:08pm

re: #355 UberInfidel67

A wedding party on a ship carrying baby milk?

Filled with orphans!

366 Kragar  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:21:24pm

re: #360 Kosh’s Shadow

We can see which side Putin is on:
Russia Offer Abbas Helicopters, Rifles for Emerging PA Army
Well, considering how well Hamas and Fatah get along, it looks like Hamas will have some targets for those Stingers they got that won’t shoot at Israeli Apaches.

Palis with Helos, what could go wrong?

/

367 Ben Hur  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:21:26pm

re: #357 Occasional Reader

Even worse are those fanatic supporters of annoying Star Wars characters, the JarJarweed.

Hey!

He was socially promoted to Senator after the outrage!

368 acwgusa  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:21:32pm

re: #365 MandyManners

Filled with orphans!

And kittens!

369 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:21:41pm

re: #365 MandyManners
Oh we could go on and on with this. lol

370 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:21:53pm

re: #362 Creeping Eruption

/ then the worst of all time: ditchditchweed

You know, if it was the Ganjaweed militia, we would have gone after them a long time ago.

371 alegrias  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:21:56pm

re: #365 MandyManners

Filled with orphans!

* * * *
Orphaned by the previous administration!

372 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:22:01pm

re: #360 Kosh’s Shadow

We can see which side Putin is on:
Russia Offer Abbas Helicopters, Rifles for Emerging PA Army
Well, considering how well Hamas and Fatah get along, it looks like Hamas will have some targets for those Stingers they got that won’t shoot at Israeli Apaches.

Unfortunately, we (as you know) are arming Abbas quite briskly, too.

What Stingers are you talking about? (Please tell me you’re kidding)

373 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:22:14pm

re: #356 Mad Al-Jaffee

Reminds me of the crime movie Snatch. When I heard there was a movie they were calling “Guy Ritchie’s Snatch,” I thought it was going to be about Madonna.

hehe! turn never thought Madonna was hot, couldn’t understood the appeal.

374 albusteve  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:22:16pm

glam pony


[Link: www.dailymail.co.uk…]

375 jcm  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:22:16pm

re: #368 acwgusa

And kittens!

And when it sinks, think of the Sea Kittens!

376 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:22:27pm

re: #371 alegrias
Well of course. Duh!

377 Kragar  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:22:41pm

re: #364 Occasional Reader

That wasn’t a bad movie, actually.

And Brit lizards may correct me if I’m wrong, but I think they could “get away” with the title because “snatch” doesn’t have that meaning in Brit lexicon.

One of favorites.

“3 minutes Turkish”

378 WindHorse  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:23:14pm

re: #374 albusteve

I thought Rick James had died?

379 MandyManners  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:23:36pm

Islam doesn’t have nuns, does it?

380 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:23:44pm

re: #366 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Palis with Helos, what could go wrong?

/

Well, if Russia doesn’t include flight school, I think we might get some great videos out of it.

381 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:23:51pm

re: #363 Russkilitlover

No.

382 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:23:51pm

re: #367 Ben Hur

Hey!

He was socially promoted to Senator after the outrage!

The first example of an affirmative-action appointment & look what happened - he voted to give Palpatine “emergency” powers!

383 Ben Hur  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:24:21pm

re: #372 Occasional Reader

Unfortunately, we (as you know) are arming Abbas quite briskly, too.

What Stingers are you talking about? (Please tell me you’re kidding)

Didn’t you hear?

SAMAH has stingers.

But they don’t work against Israeli aircraft because they have “friendly fire” fail-safes on them.

384 _RememberTonyC  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:24:23pm

This is a great leadership opportunity for President Obama. But I fear he will either fail to see it or simply squander the opportunity.

Pirates are universally seen as criminals by civilized countries and even by some countries who can’t be described as civilized. Their activities are clearly illegal. They hurt good countries as well as despotic ones like the saudi regime.

Somalia has no government and thus no ability to blast away at the pirate strongholds where they operate these criminal enterprises. But the US Navy has plenty of ability to do this … and quickly.

Once the Captain is released, even if ransom is paid, Obama should use the full force of our military to put these pirate strongholds on permanent hiatus. Bomb the shit out of them.

Obama can look strong and tough. He cannot be accused of racism for obvious reasons. The shipping lanes will be protected from pirates. Future pirates will see that even Obama will kill them. It’s a total win/win and would send the message that we are still willing to fight for SOMETHING.

Will the new Prez go down this road? I hope he does.

385 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:24:41pm

re: #379 MandyManners

Islam doesn’t have nuns, does it?

No, but the women all dress like them.

386 razorbacker  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:24:43pm

re: #370 Kosh’s Shadow

You know, if it was the Ganjaweed militia, we would have gone after them a long time ago.

You could have carpet bombed them with Oreos, Cheetos, and various salty snacks and rounded ‘em right up.

*Heh. He said ‘rounded’*

387 turn  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:24:54pm

re: #371 alegrias

* * * *
Orphaned by the previous administration!

that was good

388 chicagodudewhotrades  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:25:10pm

re: #374 albusteve

Is that first pony pictured named ‘Rick James’?

389 avanti  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:25:37pm

re: #360 Kosh’s Shadow

We can see which side Putin is on:
Russia Offer Abbas Helicopters, Rifles for Emerging PA Army
Well, considering how well Hamas and Fatah get along, it looks like Hamas will have some targets for those Stingers they got that won’t shoot at Israeli Apaches.

That’s the plan, arm Abbas to take back Gaza. As long as Israel is cool with the deal, I am too. We are helping train the PA Army already.

390 Ben Hur  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:26:26pm

re: #384 _RememberTonyC

This is a great leadership opportunity for President Obama. But I fear he will either fail to see it or simply squander the opportunity.

Pirates are universally seen as criminals by civilized countries and even by some countries who can’t be described as civilized. Their activities are clearly illegal. They hurt good countries as well as despotic ones like the saudi regime.

Somalia has no government and thus no ability to blast away at the pirate strongholds where they operate these criminal enterprises. But the US Navy has plenty of ability to do this … and quickly.

Once the Captain is released, even if ransom is paid, Obama should use the full force of our military to put these pirate strongholds on permanent hiatus. Bomb the shit out of them.

Obama can look strong and tough. He cannot be accused of racism for obvious reasons. The shipping lanes will be protected from pirates. Future pirates will see that even Obama will kill them. It’s a total win/win and would send the message that we are still willing to fight for SOMETHING.

Will the new Prez go down this road? I hope he does.

With all his military command experience, I’m sure he’ll do fine.

After he gets through the glossary of terms.

391 Ben Hur  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:27:15pm

re: #389 avanti

That’s the plan, arm Abbas to take back Gaza. As long as Israel is cool with the deal, I am too. We are helping train the PA Army already.


Are you new at this?

392 LGoPs  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:27:31pm

re: #379 MandyManners

Islam doesn’t have nuns, does it?

In Islam women are nones…as in “women have none of those rights”

393 Ben Hur  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:27:33pm

NEver mind.

Moving on————>

394 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:27:42pm

I seem to remember a country having to give asylum to some pirates for violating their human rights or some shit like that. I can’t find the link. Sound familiar to anyone here? Maybe that is why we are treading lightly?

395 Kosh's Shadow  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:27:46pm

re: #372 Occasional Reader

Unfortunately, we (as you know) are arming Abbas quite briskly, too.

What Stingers are you talking about? (Please tell me you’re kidding)

[Link: littlegreenfootballs.com…]
gave a link here
They have Stingers, but the Stingers have IFF (Identify Friendly or Foe) that won’t shoot at American equipment.

396 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:27:56pm

Tough crowd - moving on ——>

397 _RememberTonyC  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:28:10pm

re: #390 Ben Hur


General Petraeus can ‘splain it to him …

398 subsailor68  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:29:23pm

Hi all.

May have missed it, but does anyone know what language Somali pirates speak? If so, do you suppose there’s someone on the FBI negotiating team who speaks it?

“You all need to release the crew immediately, lay down your arms, and surrender by raising your hands!”

“Que?”

“I said, you all need to surrender right now.”

“Que?”

“I said….oh the hell with it!”

BOOM.

399 Russkilitlover  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:29:56pm

re: #360 Kosh’s Shadow

We can see which side Putin is on:
Russia Offer Abbas Helicopters, Rifles for Emerging PA Army
Well, considering how well Hamas and Fatah get along, it looks like Hamas will have some targets for those Stingers they got that won’t shoot at Israeli Apaches.

Well, ain’t that peachy. What could possibly go wrong?

400 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:31:08pm

re: #379 MandyManners

Islam doesn’t have nuns, does it?

I think they call them suicide bombers.

401 Erik The Red  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:31:56pm

re: #385 BeerDrinking_VictoryMonkey

No, but the women all dress like them.

More like Ninja’s

402 Threnody  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:32:14pm

Greatness: the one thing France won’t make peace with or surrender to. You’ve got to chop, chop, chop them down. How utterly revolting.

403 Occasional Reader  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:33:58pm

re: #395 Kosh’s Shadow

[Link: littlegreenfootballs.com…]
gave a link here
They have Stingers, but the Stingers have IFF (Identify Friendly or Foe) that won’t shoot at American equipment.

I’m a little skeptical here.

And if the story is even partly true, I damn well would like to know how Hamas got hold of Stingers.

404 Russkilitlover  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:34:53pm

re: #374 albusteve

glam pony


[Link: www.dailymail.co.uk…]

I think that Friesian is jammin’, mon.

405 chicagodudewhotrades  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:37:11pm

re: #394 UberInfidel67

I remember something about that. The British Law Lords said something along the lines of any Somali pirates captured by the Royal Navy could ask for asylum in the UK

406 Buck  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:38:13pm

re: #304 MandyManners

Dear Prudence,
Last fall, I met a terrific woman from the Mediterranean who may be “the one.” She’s beautiful and has a great body that she likes to show off, but she is also very hairy. She never shaved back home, and having now been steeped in years of women’s studies in the United States, she has become militant about not conforming to the ideal of hairless womanhood. She can’t wait to spend lots of time at my parents’ beach house this summer. She has bought a tiny bikini that she plans on wearing,…

surely she wants to snatch this opportunity
a small gesture can be all that’s needed to keep from muffing a sensitive
you’re going to want to hide in the bushes

— Actual quotes from the response…. Prudence is a Punster

407 UberInfidel67  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:39:08pm

Yeah something like that. WTF is up with that?

408 Russkilitlover  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:41:04pm

re: #389 avanti

That’s the plan, arm Abbas to take back Gaza. As long as Israel is cool with the deal, I am too. We are helping train the PA Army already.

I’m curious. Has the PA acknowledged Israel’s right to exist?

409 Buck  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:41:07pm

re: #360 Kosh’s Shadow

We can see which side Putin is on:
Russia Offer Abbas Helicopters, Rifles for Emerging PA Army
Well, considering how well Hamas and Fatah get along, it looks like Hamas will have some targets for those Stingers they got that won’t shoot at Israeli Apaches.

Right, and no way that won’t be shared with Hamas… I mean it’s not like Fatah arms have ever “fallen into” the hands of Hamas…

Fool me twice, shame on me.

410 SixDegrees  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:49:14pm

re: #228 jcm

You are assuming killing the pirates is consider an option in DC.

If any body inside the beltway had any sense as of this morning there wouldn’t be a pirate boat left afloat, and their shore facilities would be smokin’ holes.

The way it’s being played guarantees will have more pirate incidents.

What matters is how it ends. I have no problem with them negotiating in hopes of obtaining the release of the captain they’re holding. But I also have no problem reneging on any agreement struck once the captain is safely back in our hands. “We lied, assholes,” uttered just before the missile strikes, would be a fine ending.

For now, though, I’m willing to wait. They’re not going anywhere. I’m not sure what sort of supplies the lifeboat they stole has on board, but it’s not going to be very long before they start getting very thirsty and hungry. The Navy can stand off and order their crew to observe from the rails, while slurping down Gatorade in plain view.

Actually, the fact that they’re out of gas sort of simplifies things. They’re a couple hundred miles from shore; we can just leave.

411 wiffersnapper  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:49:53pm

France being scared shitless of someone that can beat them. Where have we seen this before?

412 SixDegrees  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 12:53:36pm

re: #384 _RememberTonyC

This is a great leadership opportunity for President Obama. But I fear he will either fail to see it or simply squander the opportunity.

Pirates are universally seen as criminals by civilized countries and even by some countries who can’t be described as civilized. Their activities are clearly illegal. They hurt good countries as well as despotic ones like the saudi regime.

Somalia has no government and thus no ability to blast away at the pirate strongholds where they operate these criminal enterprises. But the US Navy has plenty of ability to do this … and quickly.

Once the Captain is released, even if ransom is paid, Obama should use the full force of our military to put these pirate strongholds on permanent hiatus. Bomb the shit out of them.

Obama can look strong and tough. He cannot be accused of racism for obvious reasons. The shipping lanes will be protected from pirates. Future pirates will see that even Obama will kill them. It’s a total win/win and would send the message that we are still willing to fight for SOMETHING.

Will the new Prez go down this road? I hope he does.

Agreed. There’s no foul in reneging on any deal struck with pirates, and there aren’t any international relations to bruise, since Somalia doesn’t have a functioning government in any sense of the word. We also know exactly where the people responsible live and do business, thanks to the experience of many past hostages.

I suspect that the Navy has used the time being taken by negotiations to move additional assets into key positions.

413 pre-Boomer Marine brat  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 1:54:36pm
“We told the tester we wanted to check with the UCI to confirm who he was and to make sure he wasn’t just some French guy with a backpack and some equipment to take my blood and urine.

“Johan stayed with him and in his presence called the UCI to find out what was going on. We asked if it was OK for me to run inside and shower while they made their calls and the tester said that was fine.”

Was either (1) a mistake on the tester’s part, or (2) a set-up.

Occam’s Razor argues for the later, because in France they have testers but no testes.

414 rml  Thu, Apr 9, 2009 5:30:40pm

Hm: IIRC, the last time some Frenchie complained about one of Lance’s urine tests, it cost them $1.5M!

415 The Undead Buddy Holly  Fri, Apr 10, 2009 9:49:36am

People actually give a rodent’s buttocks about the Tour de France?

Color me surprised.

416 Charles Johnson  Fri, Apr 10, 2009 10:19:57pm

re: #415 The Undead Buddy Holly

People actually give a rodent’s buttocks about the Tour de France?

Color me surprised.

A lot more people than give two fecal deposits for your opinions.


This article has been archived.
Comments are closed.

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2023-04-04 11:11 am PDT
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Donate with
PayPal
Cash.app
Recent PagesClick to refresh
Texas County at Center of Border Fight Is Overwhelmed by Migrant Deaths EAGLE PASS, Tex. - The undertaker lighted a cigarette and held it between his latex-gloved fingers as he stood over the bloated body bag lying in the bed of his battered pickup truck. The woman had been fished out ...
Cheechako
Yesterday
Views: 92 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0