Where's my pants?

Finally home - friend of mine's dad had a stroke tonight - not looking great.

Stop Spending Our Future.Org

I desire a donut...off to the cafeteria.

re: #1 Walter L. Newton

Where's my pants?

See Walter's newest production – Peter Pantsless!

re: #1 Walter L. Newton

Where's my pants?

David Letterman made off with them.

Okay, blue. You made it this far, only half an hour or so before you have to go to bed... Um did I say that out loud? Uhhh.

/quickly scampers for the corner of the room

re: #1 Walter L. Newton

Where's my pants?

Somewhere between the parking lot, and the end of the last thread, IIRC...

re: #2 rhino2

Sorry to hear that. I'll keep them in my thoughts and prayers.

re: #1 Walter L. Newton

Where's my pants?

Reach down below your knees.

/

re: #1 Walter L. Newton

Where's my pants?

Mandy and I have them. That's what our little joke was about when she asked if you took them off yet and I told you to put them on. Just seeing if you would notice they're 404!

I'm reading Forsythe's Icon. The damage done by Aldrch Ames was unbelievable. Why that traitor was not shot is beyond comprehension.

re: #9 Pvt Bin Jammin

Thank you, his name is Rick.

re: #11 Silvergirl

Mandy and I have them. That's what our little joke was about when she asked if you took them off yet and I told you to put them on. Just seeing if you would notice they're 404!

404... ? New one on me.

By the way, if you are in Golden Colorado this weekend, Sat. night to be exact, stop by Miners Alley Playhouse and join us in celebrating the Passover season with a concert "Rocky Mountain Jewgrass Festival"

And opening next week, a classic British farce "Move Over, Mrs. Markum" for a six week run.

Pimping over.

re: #12 MandyManners

I'm reading Forsythe's Icon. The damage done by Aldrch Ames was unbelievable. Why that traitor was not shot is beyond comprehension.

Amongst many others my dear ...

re: #14 Walter L. Newton

404 as in missing/not found.

re: #14 Walter L. Newton

404... ? New one on me.

By the way, if you are in Golden Colorado this weekend, Sat. night to be exact, stop by Miners Alley Playhouse and join us in celebrating the Passover season with a concert "Rocky Mountain Jewgrass Festival"

And opening next week, a classic British farce "Move Over, Mrs. Markum" for a six week run.

Pimping over.

[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

re: #16 rhino2

404 as in missing/not found.

Got it. I didn't know my pants were a dead link?

re: #16 rhino2

404 as in missing/not found.

Thanks for the save, rhino2. Horrible when you have to explain your own supposed witticisms.

John Kerry still an asshat - Kerry postures tape at 10...

I do so despise that creature.

re: #14 Walter L. Newton

404... ? New one on me.

By the way, if you are in Golden Colorado this weekend, Sat. night to be exact, stop by Miners Alley Playhouse and join us in celebrating the Passover season with a concert "Rocky Mountain Jewgrass Festival"

And opening next week, a classic British farce "Move Over, Mrs. Markum" for a six week run.

Pimping over.

404 is the standard HTTP code for Not Found.

That's why this picture is funny, as is this version of The Raven.

re: #18 Walter L. Newton

Got it. I didn't know my pants were a dead link?

No, Walter-we discussed the dead link months ago...IE: "is Walter choking his chicken again"...

/white smoke...

re: #1 Walter L. Newton

Where's my pants?

are you channeling Surfer Doc?

re: #18 Walter L. Newton

Got it. I didn't know my pants were a dead link?

Something for that too...

re: #19 Silvergirl

Np!

re: #23 redc1c4

are you channeling Surfer Doc?

I knew that sounded familiar from somewhere! Thanks, red.

re: #2 rhino2

Finally home - friend of mine's dad had a stroke tonight - not looking great.

thaqt always sux0rs... my sympathies

re: #13 rhino2

Thanks for giving me his name. Bless his heart.

I spent the day at the hospital too. My hubby had surgery. Thank God it went well.

re: #11 Silvergirl

Mandy and I have them. That's what our little joke was about when she asked if you took them off yet and I told you to put them on. Just seeing if you would notice they're 404!

you're in his pants...

/somebody call for decon!

re: #24 rhino2

Something for that too...

Nope, not on my shopping list. Fifty six and smooth sailing.

re: #14 Walter L. Newton

404... ? New one on me.

By the way, if you are in Golden Colorado this weekend, Sat. night to be exact, stop by Miners Alley Playhouse and join us in celebrating the Passover season with a concert "Rocky Mountain Jewgrass Festival"

And opening next week, a classic British farce "Move Over, Mrs. Markum" for a six week run.

Pimping over.

Great name for the concert.

The farce I don't know. My favorite farce of all time, though not British, but French, is A Flea in Her Ear.

re: #28 Pvt Bin Jammin

Thanks for giving me his name. Bless his heart.

I spent the day at the hospital too. My hubby had surgery. Thank God it went well.

and i got the email so i spared you the call... still thinking good thoughts.

bug ya tomorrow?

re: #23 redc1c4

are you channeling Surfer Doc?

re: #26 gmsc

I knew that sounded familiar from somewhere! Thanks, red.

Now ya did it-he should be coming thru a window any minute, since ya invoked him...

re: #15 Bobibutu

Amongst many others my dear ...

Not like Ames. He single-handedly destroyed the entire Soviet section of the CIA from about 1986 until 1992. He blew every single network and caused the deaths of the Soviets who were spying for us (at least 12) and countless others.

re: #18 Walter L. Newton

Got it. I didn't know my pants were a dead link?

either that or they house one...

/white smoke

re: #33 Pietr

Now ya did it-he should be coming thru a window any minute, since ya invoked him...

that's what bars are for...

re: #28 Pvt Bin Jammin

Thanks for giving me his name. Bless his heart.

I spent the day at the hospital too. My hubby had surgery. Thank God it went well.

How long will his hospital stay last?

re: #34 MandyManners

Not like Ames. He single-handedly destroyed the entire Soviet section of the CIA from about 1986 until 1992. He blew every single network and caused the deaths of the Soviets who were spying for us (at least 12) and countless others.

No argument ... and there are others

re: #30 Walter L. Newton

Nope, not on my shopping list. Fifty six and smooth sailing.

one of the side effects of being single, eh?

/white smoke

re: #32 redc1c4

and i got the email so i spared you the call... still thinking good thoughts.

bug ya tomorrow?

Sure, but you'll reach my hubby. LOL He might just get a kick out of it. For some reason he wanted me to use his, probably because the business answering service is used to calling that number, so he asked me to leave mine there at the hospital tonight. If you'd rather talk to me, just substitute the last two numbers with 30 instead of 60.

Take me now baby here as I am
Pull me close, try and understand
Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
Love is a banquet on which we feed

"Desire is creation, is the magical element in that process. If there were an instrument by which to measure desire, one could foretell achievement."
— Willa Cather

"Desire is the source of all human suffering."
— Buddha

...

Discuss.

re: #40 Pvt Bin Jammin

Sure, but you'll reach my hubby. LOL He might just get a kick out of it. For some reason he wanted me to use his, probably because the business answering service is used to calling that number, so he asked me to leave mine there at the hospital tonight. If you'd rather talk to me, just substitute the last two numbers with 30 instead of 60.

Best wishes - glad it was successful

re: #39 redc1c4

one of the side effects of being single, eh?

/white smoke

I'm not single, I am dating a wonderful woman.

re: #40 Pvt Bin Jammin

Sure, but you'll reach my hubby. LOL He might just get a kick out of it. For some reason he wanted me to use his, probably because the business answering service is used to calling that number, so he asked me to leave mine there at the hospital tonight. If you'd rather talk to me, just substitute the last two numbers with 30 instead of 60.

might be a good thing for me to get permisso to talk to his wife anyway... %-)

re: #37 Silvergirl

It was supposed to be one day, according to the surgeon, but the nurses think longer so I probably won't know until 10:59 AM in the morning.

re: #41 redc1c4

Take me now baby here as I am
Pull me close, try and understand
Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
Love is a banquet on which we feed

/wow, never figured you for a Patti fan

re: #42 zombie

"Desire is creation, is the magical element in that process. If there were an instrument by which to measure desire, one could foretell achievement."
— Willa Cather

"Desire is the source of all human suffering."
— Buddha

...

Discuss.

i just did.

/bonus points for anticipating the question. %-)

re: #46 Pvt Bin Jammin

It was supposed to be one day, according to the surgeon, but the nurses think longer so I probably won't know until 10:59 AM in the morning.

3 hours of moving the neck tissues around, a day or two resting and sedated would likely be a good thing, IMHO.

re: #42 zombie

"Desire is creation, is the magical element in that process. If there were an instrument by which to measure desire, one could foretell achievement."
— Willa Cather

"Desire is the source of all human suffering."
— Buddha

...

Discuss.

Unfulfilled desires are the source

Trutherism goes totally mainstream in Holland:

Dutch TV show exonerates Osama bin Laden: 'Devil's Advocate' jury finds no proof he was behind Sept. 11

BERLIN -- A Dutch TV jury has found Osama bin Laden not guilty of the Sept. 11 attacks.

In the conclusion Wednesday night to the show "Devil's Advocate" on Dutch public broadcaster Nederland 2, the jury of two men and three women, along with the studio audience, ruled there was no proof bin Laden was the mastermind behind the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon in 2001.

The Netherlands, home to "Big Brother" creator Endemol, is known for being on the cutting edge of format-based television. But even for Dutch standards, "Devil's Advocate," from Amsterdam production house AVRO, pushes the envelope.

The show features star defense attorney Gerard Spong standing up for some of the world's worst criminals.

In the latest show, Spong was able to convince the jury that bin Laden's connection to Sept. 11 was a product of "Western propaganda." The jury also ruled there was insufficient evidence to prove bin Laden was the real head of terrorist network al-Qaida. However, the jury did rule that bin Laden is a "terrorist who has misused Islam."

The show is certain to provide further ammunition in the already heated Dutch debate over immigration and the country's large Muslim minority. The Netherlands saw a sharp rise in anti-immigration and anti-Islamic sentiment after the 2004 murder of Dutch director Theo Van Gogh by a Muslim extremist.

Brace yourself for some ideological whiplash, however, as OBL's lawyer is -- the same guy who's been hounding Geert Wilders:

Spong has been at the center of the debate, supporting legal action against anti-immigrant politician Geert Wilders.

re: #46 Pvt Bin Jammin

It was supposed to be one day, according to the surgeon, but the nurses think longer so I probably won't know until 10:59 AM in the morning.

That's a pretty tight ship they're running with a time like that. Not 11am, but 10:59.

The nurses can generally assess that better than the surgeons, so he may be in longer as they've said. I'm happy for you that it went well.

re: #45 redc1c4

might be a good thing for me to get permisso to talk to his wife anyway... %-)

Just tell him you're the lizard that hasn't made it over to Conrads yet and he might remember.

re: #47 Killian Bundy

[Video]/wow, never figured you for a Patti fan

maskirovka is my friend and constant companion.

Well, it turns out that Iowahawk's Congressional Motors parody car has become a reality in Britain:

[Link: www.telegraph.co.uk...]

The crash test footage is impressive.

re: #53 Pvt Bin Jammin

Just tell him you're the lizard that hasn't made it over to Conrads yet and he might remember.

that depends on the PCA setting, now doesn't it? %-)

re: #51 zombie

He was quoted after the first hit as saying "patience"

What does that say?

/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame baby!

re: #49 redc1c4

3 hours of moving the neck tissues around, a day or two resting and sedated would likely be a good thing, IMHO.

He is not using that morphine pump. When I got back over there tonight he was already having a roast beef sandwich, talking, watching tv, etc. I think he is saving himself for the Maker's Mark.

Good-night all. My eyelids desire to close. Sometimes desire is not the cause of suffering, but the first step to bliss, so I will have to disagree with Buddha this time.

re: #52 Silvergirl

That's a pretty tight ship they're running with a time like that. Not 11am, but 10:59.

The nurses can generally assess that better than the surgeons, so he may be in longer as they've said. I'm happy for you that it went well.

that's the book keepers: if you are in the hospital for less than 24 hours, the numbers all change, so they don't keep you if they don't have to.

as for the nurses versus the surgeons/docs, it's 6/5 and keep them both away from me. %-)

/health care is scarey

Krod Mandoon: The Sword of Fire premiered tonight on Comedy Central. Since my wife and daughter had just discovered The Legend of the Seeker, we tuned in. Bad mistake -- now I am hooked. It's a parody that applies the sensibility of The Office and Monty Python to the sword-and-sorcery genre.

re: #58 Killian Bundy

[Video]

/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame baby!

How many Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees can you name in 15 minutes?

re: #60 Silvergirl

Good-night all. My eyelids desire to close. Sometimes desire is not the cause of suffering, but the first step to bliss, so I will have to disagree with Buddha this time.

Good night, Silvergirl!

re: #59 Pvt Bin Jammin

He is not using that morphine pump. When I got back over there tonight he was already having a roast beef sandwich, talking, watching tv, etc. I think he is saving himself for the Maker's Mark.

My doctor went nuts when I answered what I wanted to eat after a hepatitis event and i said "pork chops and fries".

He OKed it. Yum

re: #59 Pvt Bin Jammin

He is not using that morphine pump. When I got back over there tonight he was already having a roast beef sandwich, talking, watching tv, etc. I think he is saving himself for the Maker's Mark.

well, they likely have him on a steady (basal) drip, with the option of more, but you can tell him that patients usually heal faster and better if they use the pain meds as directed instead of "toughing it out"...

i'm not saying get bombed or hooked, but "fighting" the pain actually weakens the body and lengthens the healing process.

re: #28 Pvt Bin Jammin

Thank you for the prayers, friend just called with an update - said they'll be keeping him there for at least a week.

And glad to hear your hubby's surgery went well :)

re: #65 Bobibutu

My doctor went nuts when I answered what I wanted to eat after a hepatitis event and i said "pork chops and fries".

He OKed it. Yum

Is this the doctor that owns the Heart Attack Grill by any chance?

rat check: BIAB

re: #56 redc1c4

LOL

A ball busting competition

/who will let go first?

re: #68 gmsc

Is this the doctor that owns the Heart Attack Grill by any chance?

[Video]

I was young - he was a Brit in Thailand and young as well. circa 1969.

re: #68 gmsc

mmm burger

re: #62 stuiec

Krod Mandoon: The Sword of Fire premiered tonight on Comedy Central. Since my wife and daughter had just discovered The Legend of the Seeker, we tuned in. Bad mistake -- now I am hooked. It's a parody that applies the sensibility of The Office and Monty Python to the sword-and-sorcery genre.

I liked it. A few clunky gags but strangely endearing.

re: #66 redc1c4

That machine only says .09 and staying the same since I first got to his room. He always does the old USMC "fight the pain" thing. He probably won't even want his vicodin (or whatever) they give him on discharge. What totally freaked him out is no Celebrex for three months and he has already been without it for two weeks. That goes against the healing too.

From the previous thread:

Michael Jackson's brother planning 'slavery theme park'

Marlon Jackson, a former member of the Jackson Five, is involved in plans to build the Badagry Historical Resort Development Project, which would feature a memorial and a museum about slavery.

But some historians have condemned the project, which would include a theme park with a slave ship replica, along with casinos, shops, a golf course and condominiums.

The resort would also house memorabilia from the glory years of the Jackson Five, the classic Motown group known for hits including "ABC" and "I Want You Back".

The development group has said it hopes that the band will help attract African-American tourists keen to trace their roots back to Nigeria.

"This will be an adventurous ride giving you an historical overview of African music. From hologram images, concert footage, a state of the art recording facility, to robotic figures displaying the rhythmic beats from 300 years ago where music began leading up to the biggest African group in the world, The Jackson Five," says literature from the investment group behind the plan, called The Motherland Group (TMG).

But critics have said that the project is exploiting a painful history.

"This plan is morally reprehensible, it's like dancing on the graves of dead people and telling them you're honouring them," C Don Adinuba, a writer and PR consultant, told the BBC.

Visitors would be able to visit a replica slave ship and walk the route their shackled ancestors walked before playing a round of golf or relaxing by a pool.

re: #73 rhino2

mmm burger

If you finish either their triple– or quadruple–bypass burger, a nurse will wheel you out to your car at no extra charge.

I well, I ain't contributiing anything here, and I think it's time I hit the rack. Night all and have a fun overnight.

Gotta go down - nite all

re: #79 Bobibutu

Gotta go down - nite all

G'Nite, Bobibutu!

re: #80 gmsc

G'Nite, Bobibutu!

Nite gmsc

Night blue! Night bobibutu!

re: #67 rhino2

Thanks for your good thoughts.

My dad had several strokes before he passed away but the ability to speak always came back quickly. His right side was another matter.

re: #77 gmsc

If you finish either their triple– or quadruple–bypass burger, a nurse will wheel you out to your car at no extra charge.

I've never really wanted to go to AZ until now...I think I could take on either of those...

re: #83 Pvt Bin Jammin

I don't know much about them (strokes), but thats exactly what he is dealing with now, can't speak or do much at all with his right side.

I should probably hit the hay too. Only slept a couple of hours last night.

Take care, lizards.

re: #86 Pvt Bin Jammin

Sleep well

re: #86 Pvt Bin Jammin

I should probably hit the hay too. Only slept a couple of hours last night.

Take care, lizards.

Good night, PBJ!

I hate to be among the leaving masses, but my cough was the worst it's been since it started. I'd better get some sleep, too. If I can't get to sleep, I'll try and pop in for fruitup, but I can't guarantee anything.

Good night, all!

re: #85 rhino2

The first day or two seems to be the worst with the speech. Dad told me later that he wanted to talk to us and didn't know how. Therapy is so important.

I am going to try and sleep. Hope you can do the same.

Wow- I show up and all these lizards start bailing en masse. I didn't even get a chance to do my precious-metals and overseas stock market updates (which should cure all but the most persistent cases of insomnia).

I swear I put some deodorant on this morning.

re: #88 gmsc

Good night, PBJ!

I hate to be among the leaving masses, but my cough was the worst it's been since it started. I'd better get some sleep, too. If I can't get to sleep, I'll try and pop in for fruitup, but I can't guarantee anything.

Good night, all!

OMG Take care of that cough. There have been some nasty little bugs going around this year.

Sweet dreams.

re: #75 Pvt Bin Jammin

That machine only says .09 and staying the same since I first got to his room. He always does the old USMC "fight the pain" thing. He probably won't even want his vicodin (or whatever) they give him on discharge. What totally freaked him out is no Celebrex for three months and he has already been without it for two weeks. That goes against the healing too.

i'll have to ask my pharmacist, but i'd guess that it has to do with Celebrex having an effect on blood coagulation... tell him that the doctor is an officer and he has to obey orders.

/like *that* will w*rk. %-)

re: #76 gmsc

Epic Fail

re: #90 Fenway_Nation

Wow- I show up and all these lizards start bailing en masse. I didn't even get a chance to do my precious-metals and overseas stock market updates (which should cure all but the most persistent cases of insomnia).

I swear I put some deodorant on this morning.

maybe you should try soap and water next time?

/white smoke

re: #89 Pvt Bin Jammin

I should be getting to sleep here in the next hour or so, thanks again, and gnight.

re: #95 rhino2

I should be getting to sleep here in the next hour or so, thanks again, and gnight.

looks like we killed the thread...

/high five!

re: #90 Fenway_Nation

Wow- I show up and all these lizards start bailing en masse. I didn't even get a chance to do my precious-metals and overseas stock market updates (which should cure all but the most persistent cases of insomnia).

I swear I put some deodorant on this morning.

It may just be shift change. I won't make it much longer, but am in and out, doing chores before seeking a sleep spot. Will hang around as long as I dare, tho...

What happened? Is there a rerun of Glen Beck on tv?

redc1c4 started rat shootin', and peeps started to worry about ricochets, or worse...

/white smoke...

re: #96 redc1c4

I knew I had a talent for putting people to sleep

re: #100 rhino2

I knew I had a talent for putting people to sleep

So your last name is really Mesmer?

re: #99 Pietr

redc1c4 started rat shootin', and peeps started to worry about ricochets, or worse...

/white smoke...

nuthin to worry 'bout...

'ceptin yer a rat, of course.

I thought I saw Space Jesus around here somewhere...

The most powerful politician in the world is Black.

The head of the Republican National Committee is Black.

The best known media mogul on earth is Black.

The greatest golfer in the world is Black.

The top female tennis players in the world are Black.

The fastest racing driver in the world is Black.

The brightest Astrophysicist under the sun is Black.

The Superbowl-winning Head Coach is Black.

The most successful brain surgeon in the world is Black.

The fastest human on the planet is Black.

... Michael Jackson must be kicking himself.

re: #74 Salem

I felt almost guilty enjoying it so much, as we'd just recently gotten into Legend of the Seeker -- it felt like I was watching the class clown goofing on the earnest student.

But I really liked it -- Matt Lucas is great, and the writers did a good job of tossing in almost every joke they could think of, and making them pay off.

"Do you know how long I've been locked in this hell-hole?"

"Yes - about two weeks!"

re: #104 Pietr

The most powerful politician in the world is Black.

The head of the Republican National Committee is Black.

The best known media mogul on earth is Black.

The greatest golfer in the world is Black.

The top female tennis players in the world are Black.

The fastest racing driver in the world is Black.

The brightest Astrophysicist under the sun is Black.

The Superbowl-winning Head Coach is Black.

The most successful brain surgeon in the world is Black.

The fastest human on the planet is Black.

... Michael Jackson must be kicking himself.

Thanks...I just used those points in a thread on another message board where this white guy said that white people have nothing to be proud of, that they hold internal racial resentment, etc...

Riff Raff

re: #105 stuiec

Coincidence abounds - my roommate's brother just got me to watch the first 2 episodes of Legend of the Seeker, it did perk my interest, but I was inclined to ask if they stopped using the term "The Seeker" so often in later episodes, I was assured they do.

Missed the thing on Comedy Central though - worth looking up I take it?

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.'

She starts up the stairs and pauses, 'Was I going up the stairs or down?'

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'
___

'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.

One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'

'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'

And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer ...'
___

LITTLE LADY:

Nancy was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her night-gown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'

Jim sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
___

OLD FRIENDS:

Now this one is just too Precious... !

Two elderly Men had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.

Please tell me what your name is ' .

The friend glared at him . For at least three minutes he just stared and glared at him .

Finally Kenny said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

re: #106 TheMatrix31

Thanks...I just used those points in a thread on another message board where this white guy said that white people have nothing to be proud of, that they hold internal racial resentment, etc...

did you tell him that projection is only useful when singing or when w*rking audio visual in high school?

re: #107 redc1c4

Riff Raff

RIP Bon Scott

re: #107 redc1c4

Angus is a madman.

re: #111 sngnsgt

RIP Bon Scott

re: #112 axegrinder

Angus is a madman.

Even Better... imho, of course. %-)

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Ken, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 10 . Please be careful!'

'Heck,' said Ken, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'
___

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through... The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.

So, she turned to the other woman and said, 'Kathy, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'

Kathy turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

re: #110 redc1c4

did you tell him that projection is only useful when singing or when w*rking audio visual in high school?

No. I wanted to call him a fucking moron, but I'm a moderator there and I can't do that :-/

re: #115 TheMatrix31

No. I wanted to call him a fucking moron, but I'm a moderator there and I can't do that :-/

well, give me a pointer and i'll do the dirty w*rk. %-)

re: #115 TheMatrix31

No. I wanted to call him a fucking moron, but I'm a moderator there and I can't do that :-/

Makes me so glad I am not one anymore...biting one's tongue/curbing the temper is getting harder for me to do.

Anybody have an Iphone? I need a new pda and phone, are they worth the hype?

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and, at20the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and would use each time he had to log on.

The husband was a bit bored by the process and, feeling in a rather amorous mood, figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he paused for effect, then letter by letter, with his wife watching over his shoulder, he keyed in .

P

E

N

I

S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

PASSWORD REJECTED... NOT LONG ENOUGH

I've not stayed up this late in ages. Good night, Lizards!

re: #116 redc1c4

well, give me a pointer and i'll do the dirty w*rk. %-)

Heh, it's no big deal. He'll get himself banned eventually.

re: #120 MandyManners

Sleep well Mandy!

I was researching phones and ran across this little gem. It's HILARIUS but uncomplimentary toward iphone users.

[Link: www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...]

re: #120 MandyManners

I've not stayed up this late in ages. Good night, Lizards!

Goodnight, Ms Manners...

re: #118 axegrinder

Anybody have an Iphone? I need a new pda and phone, are they worth the hype?

Having used it and the Blackberry storm, I prefer the Storm, but thats on purely personal preference, I just don't need apps to fight zombies away from a shed...

re: #118 axegrinder

Anybody have an Iphone? I need a new pda and phone, are they worth the hype?

I like mine a lot. Browsing LGF on it is slow. I think the main issue is whether you can get used to the software buttons.

Time for another Fenway's Nightly Overseas Market update:

Shanghai Composite- up 2.7%

Nikkei 225- up 0.54%

Taiwan Weighted- up 2.01%

KOPSI Seoul Composite- up 1.5%

Australia's All Ordiniaries, Mumbai's SENSEX, Tel Aviv's TA100, Hong Kong's Hang Seng, Malaysia's KLSE Weighted, Johannesburg's JSE Limited, Singapore's Straits Times and New Zealand's NZSE50 are closed due to bank holiday.

re: #127 Fenway_Nation

Time for another Fenway's Nightly Overseas Market update:

Shanghai Composite- up 2.7%

Nikkei 225- up 0.54%

Taiwan Weighted- up 2.01%

KOPSI Seoul Composite- up 1.5%

Australia's All Ordiniaries, Mumbai's SENSEX, Tel Aviv's TA100, Hong Kong's Hang Seng, Malaysia's KLSE Weighted, Johannesburg's JSE Limited, Singapore's Straits Times and New Zealand's NZSE50 are closed due to bank holiday.

where is all the optimism coming from? i haven't seen anything to make me think we're going anywhere but down.

re: #127 Fenway_Nation

Did you see the article in the Journal about the mining town in Nevada that's booming? Apparently there is great demand for gold...

re: #128 redc1c4

Might be all the Asians looking at Hussein Dolt and thinking 'Thank god that idiot isn't running our country!'

/The Aussies, Kiwis and Indians could be saying that, too...but their markets are closed for Good Friday.

Allahu ackbar turns up where most of us least expect. (See bottom of event notice): VA Desert Conference of Shrine Temples & Courts - Apr 16-18, 2009, Richmond, VA

I found the above after coming across this short vid, from about 25 years ago:
DR. KHALLID MUHAMMAD - The Widows Son

It was not what was said that I found shocking, but the relationship that was revealed. At a Founders' Day banquet, Dr Rushaddin was introduced as a member of the Board of Directors of the Shriners organization at the national level.

FYI, Harold-X, aka Malik Rushaddin, aka Khalid (or Khallid) Abdul Muhammad (1948-2001) is one of only two private US citizens that Congress ever censured. The other was Louis Farrakhan, head of the NOI. In this video from the early 1990s, Khalid (with the colorful sash) is a couple steps behind Farrakhan. White folks, you owe us the whole damn country.

It was not that speech, but a particularly incendiary one by Khalid at Kean College, NJ in 1993 which precipitated the censure. It is my understanding that Farrakhan was included because he rebuked his national spokesperson so mildly, saying Khalid spoke the truth, but his tone and choice of words was wrong.

In Feb 08, Tim Russert asked BHO if he'd reject Farrakhan's political support. BHO obfuscated.

re: #129 axegrinder

No, but I read a seperate article online from one of the Montana newspapers how recently laid-off miners are being recruited by some of the companies that set up shop in Nevada.

Hillary Clinton is spinning like a centrifuge.

''We don't know what to believe about the Iranian program," she said, adding that the US government did not "attribute any particular meaning" to Iran's statement with respect to the negotiations.

It came after Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced advances in the country's nuclear program, including the inauguration of a new nuclear-related facility and the testing of two types of high-capacity centrifuges that he said would speed up Iran's enrichment capacity.

re: #132 Fenway_Nation

Seriously slow night. Do you think we'll see DOW 11,000 again in the next couple of years?

re: #134 axegrinder

At this rate, I'd say 'yes'...maybe five or six years.

But I honestly attribute the DOW and NASDAQ's performance last week to the fact that Hussein Dolt was out of the country and therefore unable to sign anything into law. Unfortunately for the economy, he has to come back at some point...

re: #133 Spare O'Lake

Round Right Round Like A Record Baby...

/George Galloway's Dance Partner

re: #134 axegrinder

Seriously slow night. Do you think we'll see DOW 11,000 again in the next couple of years?

depends on where you put the decimal point in all those numbers...

Morning/Afternoon/Evening Lizards.

Happy Good Friday/Passover.

re: #133 Spare O'Lake

Hillary Clinton is spinning like a centrifuge.

how about we believe they are a threat, for once, and then, since you always honor the threat, we just take them out first?

just an out of the box thought.

re: #134 axegrinder

Seriously slow night. Do you think we'll see DOW 11,000 again in the next couple of years?

Would that be with, or without inflation?

re: #134 axegrinder

Do you think we'll see DOW 11,000 again in the next couple of years?

Inflation makes anything possible.

Sorry red, it has to be done.

Heading to bed everyone, Goodnight!

re: #138 Erik The Red

Good Evening Erik-how many days left in your short timer calendar?

re: #140 UncleRancher

Would that be with, or without inflation?

that's the good thing about ATM cards: as long as the software can handle the zeros the zero inflicts on us, we won't need to buy more wheelbarrows from the Chinese just to buy bread.

Progress!

Fenway Nation's Nightly Precious Metals Update:

Gold- $882.90 an ounce (up 0.4%)
Silver- $12.33 an ounce (unchanged)
Platinum- $1206 an ounce (up 1.57%)
Palladium- $234 an ounce (up 0.85%)

re: #137 redc1c4

re: #135 Fenway_Nation

Secular bear markets suck. G'night all.

re: #143 Pietr

Good Evening Erik-how many days left in your short timer calendar?

before or after inflation?

/white smoke

re: #144 redc1c4

that's the good thing about ATM cards: as long as the software can handle the zeros the zero inflicts on us, we won't need to buy more wheelbarrows from the Chinese just to buy bread.

Progress!

Maybe we can stand yet another zero. It's the commas I'm worried about.

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.

'No, I don't,' she replied.

'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'

She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

'What's so funny?' he asked

'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'

Gotta watch those little old ladies!
Their minds are always working...!

re: #138 Erik The Red

Morning/Afternoon/Evening Lizards.

Happy Good Friday/Passover.

Good mornin, Erik!

re: #145 Fenway_Nation

Fenway Nation's Nightly Precious Metals Update:

Gold- $882.90 an ounce (up 0.4%)
Silver- $12.33 an ounce (unchanged)
Platinum- $1206 an ounce (up 1.57%)
Palladium- $234 an ounce (up 0.85%)

you left out Copper, Lead, Brass and Depleted Uranium...

re: #148 UncleRancher

It's the zeroes at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. that have me worried.

re: #143 Pietr

Good Evening Erik-how many days left in your short timer calendar?

Haven't started the count down yet. When we book the tickets the count down will start. End of May beginning of June is the time frame.

Gotta sell my house first.:(

re: #128 redc1c4

where is all the optimism coming from? i haven't seen anything to make me think we're going anywhere but down.

I heard the mavens call it "a dead cat bounce" a couple of weeks ago.

One thing that might be feeding a temporary sense of optimism is the incredibly positive spin that MSM keeps putting on Obama's unbroken string of domestic and foreign policy disasters. If this is the case then the reality check, when it comes, is going to be very nasty.

Then again, maybe the markets actually believe that the worst is over.../

re: #152 Fenway_Nation

It's the zeroes at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. that have me worried.

how about at the other end of the mall... there's about 535 of them wandering around without adult supervision..

re: #152 Fenway_Nation

It's the zeroes at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. that have me worried.

Yes, that's where the commas will come from when this all breaks loose.

re: #154 Spare O'Lake

I heard the mavens call it "a dead cat bounce" a couple of weeks ago.

One thing that might be feeding a temporary sense of optimism is the incredibly positive spin that MSM keeps putting on Obama's unbroken string of domestic and foreign policy disasters. If this is the case then the reality check, when it comes, is going to be very nasty.

Then again, maybe the markets actually believe that the worst is over.../

then they're smoking from the same crack pipe the MFM and Ear Leader are hitting.

re: #153 Erik The Red

Haven't started the count down yet. When we book the tickets the count down will start. End of May beginning of June is the time frame.

Gotta sell my house first.:(

got fire insurance?

/white smoke

Gotta watch those little old ladies!
Their minds are always working...!

ALMOST always...

re: #159 littleoldlady

ALMOST always...

the fruitcup is right over there---> same place you always put it.

/white smoke

re: #158 redc1c4

got fire insurance?

/white smoke

LOL. That has already gone through my mind. Won't work in my case. I owe very little on the house. If I was mortgaged to the hilt it would have gone up in smoke already.

re: #159 littleoldlady

Morning lol.

red,

Oh. Did I put it there?

← ← ←

;-)

Hiya, Erik! :-)

re: #163 littleoldlady

red,

Oh. Did I put it there?

← ← ←

;-)

Hiya, Erik! :-)

no matter where you go, there the fruitcup is.

*HACK*
*COUGH*
*COUGH*

Good morning, littleoldlady!

(Couldn't sleep.)

re: #163 littleoldlady

There were five houses of religion in a small Texas town:

The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church , the Methodist Church , the Catholic Church, and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each "church-house" was over-run with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In The BAPTIST CHURCH , the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, where they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called 'circumcision'. They haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

Good morning littleoldlady!

It ain't easy being 1-2...

re: #164 redc1c4

no matter where you go, there the fruitcup is.

Oooh - rotating title nominee!

re: #165 gmsc

Oh boy. I can see you are MUCH better.

/NOT.

Are you running a fever? Did you see a doctor?

re: #169 littleoldlady

Oh boy. I can see you are MUCH better.

/NOT.

Are you running a fever? Did you see a doctor?

No fever, but the cough seemed worse today. If I can get some sleep tonight (perhaps after fruitcup), I'll see how I feel in the morning.

re: #167 Fenway_Nation

Fenway! :-)

Who would that be? Youz guyz or us guyz?

littleoldlady :-)

re: #169 littleoldlady

Oh boy. I can see you are MUCH better.

/NOT.

Are you running a fever? Did you see a doctor?

no sense "running a fever", as you'll get tired long before it does.

the real old school treatment is to "drown a cold, drench a fever"

re: #171 littleoldlady

Both.

I'd like to kick this writer's ass.

When the statistics showed a drop in piracy attacks off the coast of Somalia early this year, shipping companies and the foreign navies patrolling the Gulf of Aden thought they might finally be winning the battle of the Indian Ocean. But the past few days have proved that any talk of "mission accomplished" is premature.

Just for the hell of it.

re: #166 UncleRancher

Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, where they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called 'circumcision'. They haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

Cut that out!

re: #176 Spare O'Lake

That's nuts.

re: #176 Spare O'Lake

Cut that out!

i'm glad someone decided to nip that story line off short.

Being as sick as I was today, the high point of my day was noting that the Dow Jones went up Pi percent (3.14%)!

It was silly, but something to cheer up my spirits.

Uncle Rancher! :-)

The Jewish version of that joke:

Three rabbis - one Orthodox, one Conservative, one Reform - were having lunch and the Reform rabbi began complaining about mice in his synagogue. Everything he tried failed. The Orthodox rabbi said he had the same problem that he could not solve. The Conservative rabbi said,

"We used to have mice, but they're gone now."

"How did you do it?!", asked the other two rabbis.

"Well we had a little ceremony and Bar Mitzvah'd all of them. Haven't seen any of them since then."

/you probably have to be Jewish to really get this ;-)

re: #179 gmsc

Being as sick as I was today, the high point of my day was noting that the Dow Jones went up Pi percent (3.14%)!

It was silly, but something to cheer up my spirits.

on that groaner, i'm for bed... hopefully LoL will memeber 'nuff to find the fruitcup in times...

Hasta, Y'all...

L8r!

re: #179 gmsc

Being as sick as I was today, the high point of my day was noting that the Dow Jones went up Pi percent (3.14%)!

It was silly, but something to cheer up my spirits.

that's just the market circiling the drain...

re: #179 gmsc

Are we taking any cough syrup, Pi Guy?

re: #175 BignJames

I'd like to kick this writer's ass.

When the statistics showed a drop in piracy attacks off the coast of Somalia early this year, shipping companies and the foreign navies patrolling the Gulf of Aden thought they might finally be winning the battle of the Indian Ocean. But the past few days have proved that any talk of "mission accomplished" is premature.

Just for the hell of it.

Day by Day's take on the pirate story.

re: #159 littleoldlady

ALMOST always...

Now, why did I think posting that would somehow draw LoL forth?

re: #182 redc1c4

that's just the market circiling the drain...

Sleep well, red.

re: #179 gmsc

weren't you going to bed

G'night, red...remember, 'safety on'...

re: #183 littleoldlady

Are we taking any cough syrup, Pi Guy?

Yep, Delsym every 12 hours. As a matter of fact, this cough didn't seem so bad until after I started the Delsym.

You take such good care of me.

{littleoldlady}

Pietr! :-)

It's like Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetl...

;-)

re: #187 Fenway_Nation

weren't you going to bed

Yep – but I couldn't sleep. I figure some company and fruitcup might do the trick.

'Night, red! :-)

Don't worry (much) about the fruitcup...

re: #126 rawmuse

I like mine a lot. Browsing LGF on it is slow. I think the main issue is whether you can get used to the software buttons.

I have a Sony Mylo Com-2. Does everything a Iphone does, for 150 dollars (reconditioned), unlimited memory (Dou-Pro sticks), 1 gig built in, Skype (for voice over internet), free connections to Wi-Fi hotspots, camera, video player, Mp3, cut and paste, full hard keyboard, 3 1/2 wide screen, touch screen, text editor, text ebook reader, games, browser, view pictures.

Browser has Flash-lite, so it plays videos and other Flash based web page stuff, upload and downloads.

It's great if you are looking for a strong browser based communication device. Of course, it's not a phone, but you do have free Skype, which can work in a pinch.

re: #189 gmsc

Yep, Delsym every 12 hours. As a matter of fact, this cough didn't seem so bad until after I started the Delsym.

You take such good care of me.

{littleoldlady}

I quit taking that stuff years ago. The side effects were worse than the cold/flu symptoms.

re: #181 redc1c4

on that groaner, i'm for bed... hopefully LoL will memeber 'nuff to find the fruitcup in times...

Hasta, Y'all...

L8r!

Night red. Don't let those rats of yours bite you on the nuts.

re: #191 gmsc

Yep – but I couldn't sleep. I figure some company and fruitcup might do the trick.

Neither could I, we must be reading each others minds.

re: #189 gmsc

With an expectorant?

/verging on the gross
//sorry!

Maybe you guys need some z's. Here y' go.
zzz

re: #191 gmsc

Look...I'll level with you. I'm eyeing your fruitcup...the more lizards in bed, the more for me.

So get some sleep, dammit!

re: #196 Walter L. Newton

Neither could I, we must be reading each others minds.

Must be!

Geez – not only am I posting things before others post them, I'm doing things before others do them!

(For those who don't follow, we started doing this in the last thread.
;)

re: #199 Fenway_Nation

Look...I'll level with you. I'm eyeing your fruitcup...the more lizards in bed, the more for me.

So get some sleep, dammit!

That's what I was thinking.

re: #200 gmsc

Must be!

Geez – not only am I posting things before others post them, I'm doing things before others do them!

(For those who don't follow, we started doing this in the last thread.
;)

I've heard of 'channeling', but this smacks of 'back channeling'...

/white smoke...

re: #197 littleoldlady

With an expectorant?

/verging on the gross
//sorry!

Nope. No expectorant to be found in the house.

Gross? Maybe.
Good idea? Definitely.

Morning Lizards.

re: #202 Pietr

I've heard of 'channeling', but this smacks of 'back channeling'...

/white smoke...

...or, as we say in Vegas, past posting?

re: #199 Fenway_Nation

Look...I'll level with you. I'm eyeing your fruitcup...the more lizards in bed, the more for me.

So get some sleep, dammit!

What if I cough on it, first?
;)

re: #203 gmsc

Nope. No expectorant to be found in the house.

Gross? Maybe.
Good idea? Definitely.

I've used mucinex when I get congestion in the chest; seems to work fairly well.

Psst! _{^{I'll put some codeine in his fruitcup. We won't see him for 3 days...}}

_{There, there! We'll figure out how to get you some sleep, gmsc.}

re: #203 gmsc

Maybe Obama can give you some hopium.

re: #204 rightside

Mornign rightside- I think you're in time for some fruitcup.

Good morning, afternoon, evening *everyone*!™

Fruitcup is on the buffet --->
Help yourselves!

re: #208 littleoldlady

Psst! _{^{I'll put some codeine in his fruitcup. We won't see him for 3 days...}}

There, there! We'll figure out how to get you some sleep, gmsc.

_^Thanks!
;)

re: #206 gmsc

Go right ahead- I double-dog-dare you

(holds up some of red's 'modified' fruitcup)

re: #211 littleoldlady

Good morning, afternoon, evening *everyone*!™

Fruitcup is on the buffet --->
Help yourselves!

That's what I'M talkin' about! THANKS lol ! You're the greatest.

re: #211 littleoldlady

Good morning, afternoon, evening *everyone*!™

Fruitcup is on the buffet --->
Help yourselves!

Thank you! I can barely taste it, of course, but I know it's nummy!

re: #208 littleoldlady

Psst! _{^{I'll put some codeine in his fruitcup. We won't see him for 3 days...}}

There, there! We'll figure out how to get you some sleep, gmsc.

If red ot to the fruitcup first-that plus codeine could mean we'll never see him again. Should we get Avanti in to use as a guinea pig first?

re: #215 gmsc

Thank you! I can barely taste it, of course, but I know it's nummy!

Wait! Why am I so tired suddenly, and just after fru_{it cu...}

_{'Nite, all . . . Nytol . . .}

re: #211 littleoldlady

Thank'ee kindly LoL...and PIMF, if red 'got' on my previous post, not ot...

UncleRancher! :-)

gmsc! :-)

Pietr! :-)

I'm not sure I want to be responsible for offing our resident troll.

Who am I kidding?! Yes I do!

;-)

I used to use Dimatapp on my kid.

/does nothing at all for a cough, but if you want to sleep...
;-)
//Nighty, night, gmsc! :-)

Well lizards...time for me to head in.

Weet dreams!

Niteol
and
Sominex...
ZZZzzz

re: #211 littleoldlady

Good morning, afternoon, evening *everyone*!™

Fruitcup is on the buffet --->
Help yourselves!

Ding and dash, but thanks, {lol}.

Any remedies for those inflamed taste-bud things that happen when you eat a bunch of salt?

Goodness! They're dropping like flies!

'Night, Fenway! :-)

Sharmuta! :-)

whoosh!

Matrix! :-)

Sugar?

We don't have any sugar cubes :-/

re: #211 littleoldlady

Fruitcup is on the buffet --->
Help yourselves!

Ah... feeling a bit artistic this morning, are we?

re: #225 littleoldlady

Goodness! They're dropping like flies!

Good one...and I didn't drop, the 6 hour timer goodie logged me out...still hanging in tho.

freetoken! :-)

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV..

The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again."

Yes, Shakespeare was right.

re: #230 littleoldlady

You're heading to the MOMA, Lol!

Good Friday didn't always used to be so "good" - for Jews, that is.
It was traditionally a day for virulent anti-Semitic preaching by Christian clergy against the "Christ-killers". And some congregants, overcome with zeal, were occasionally known to gather en masse and descend on Jewish neighbourhoods to provide tangible demonstrations of their affection.

Thank goodness that Jews today no longer need to fear violence from their neighbours...

So to all Christian lizards, have a wonderful Good Friday and a happy Easter.

Way late for fruitcup this morning. I don't even deserve it.

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Just because they named their new CD "Yes," does not mean that British electro-pop duo, the Pet Shop Boys, will agree to just about anything. PETA has asked the Pet Shop Boys to change the band's name to Rescue Shelter Boys. The band has turned down a request from an animal rights group to rename itself the Rescue Shelter Boys.

Where are we gonna keep the Sea Kittens if we don't have a pet shop?

[Link: www.cnn.com...]

We're running full steam ahead for the edge of that cliff.

re: #233 freetoken

...from your lips...

/actually, I make mine with strawberry halves garni

BatGuano! :-)

Take an antibiotic first.

/gmsc coughed on it on his way out...

re: #236 Walter L. Newton

I'd changer the name to "Abbatoir Boys".

re: #236 Walter L. Newton

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Just because they named their new CD "Yes," does not mean that British electro-pop duo, the Pet Shop Boys, will agree to just about anything. PETA has asked the Pet Shop Boys to change the band's name to Rescue Shelter Boys. The band has turned down a request from an animal rights group to rename itself the Rescue Shelter Boys.

Where are we gonna keep the Sea Kittens if we don't have a pet shop?

[Link: www.cnn.com...]

We're running full steam ahead for the edge of that cliff.

It's A Sin

Change it too, I would.

re: #236 Walter L. Newton

Seriously, I read the link. Thought it about it and read again. I was sure from your post it was from the "Onion". Some stories can't be parodied.

re: #238 littleoldlady

My wife asked me what I was laughing about. :)

A man takes the day off work and
decides to go out golfing
He is on the second hole when he
notices a frog sitting next to
the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is
about to shoot when he

hears, Ribbit 9 Iron.'
The man looks around and doesn't
see anyone. Again, he
hears, 'Ribbit 9 Iron.' He looks
at the frog and decides to
prove the frog wrong, puts the
club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the
cup. He is shocked. He says
to the frog, 'Wow that's amazing.

You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies, 'Ribbit Lucky frog.'
The man decides to take the frog
with him to the next hole.

'What do you think frog?' the
man asks. 'Ribbit 3 wood.'
The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in one. The
man is befuddled and doesn't know
what to say. By the end
of the day, the man golfed the
best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog, 'OK where to next?'
The frog replies, 'Ribbit Las Vegas

' They go to Las Vegas
and the guy says, 'OK frog, now
what?' The frog says, 'Ribbit Roulette.' Upon
approaching the roulette table, The man
asks, 'What do you think I should
bet?' The frog replies, 'Ribbit
$3000, black 6.'

Now, this is a
million-to-one shot to win, but
after the golf game the man
figures what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table
The man takes his winnings and
buys the best room in the
hotel. He sits the frog down and
says, 'Frog, I don't know how to repay you.
You've won me all this money and
I am forever grateful.'

The frog replies,
'Ribbit KissMe.'
He figures why not,
since after all the frog did for
him, he deserves it. With a
kiss, the frog turns into a
gorgeous 15-year-old girl.. 'And that,
your honor, is how the girl
ended up in my room. So help me God

or my name is not William Jefferson

re: #243 BatGuano

Don't you sometimes find it hard to explain LGF to outsiders?

;-)

re: #245 littleoldlady

Don't you sometimes find it hard to explain LGF to outsiders?

;-)

I find it damn near impossible. I just tell them to head over here and read the threads for a few days.

re: #245 littleoldlady

All the time!

(Hopefully, I previewed this one better)...

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.

We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'

The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her.

My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.

My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'. They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.

The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet.

The MD's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor.

A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my Husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband, and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose.. Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door.

Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!

re: #248 Pietr

I tend to just kick them in the nuts:)

BatGuano... Thread killer! Coming to a theater near you.

Morning all
Krauthammer: Obama celebrates America's decline.
Nero fiddles while Rome burns.

re: #245 littleoldlady

Don't you sometimes find it hard to explain LGF to outsiders?

;-)

No, my real life has counterparts to nearly everyone here.