Creationist Clip ‘n Save

Charles Johnsonfollow me on twitter
Humor • Wed Apr 22, 2009 at 5:00 pm PDT • Views: 261

LGF reader Zimriel created this handy dandy model form letter for creationists driven into a seething frenzy by an LGF post, to help them put together that dramatic flounce-off email with a minimum of effort:

CREATIONIST FORM LETTER

Dear Charles,

I’m a
[] longtime poster with 0-3 comments since January 2008
[] longtime lurker
[] sockpuppet

who just read your post on
[] that fossil disproving another talking point
[] a speech by: [] Hitchens [] PZ Myers [] Dawkins [] the Pope
[] a picture from the Hubble
[] a Discovery Institute “senior fellow” saying something dumb
[] some politician stepping on his dick
[] Bobby Jindal

and I am feeling
[] upset
[] saddened
[] betrayed, befuddled, bewildered
[] so angry I could spit

I am not a creationist. I have a degree in
[] biochemistry
[] something
[] science
[] *mumble*

and according to the noted scientist
[] Michael Behe
[] Phillip Johnson
[] Ron Paul

there are too many unanswered questions. What about
[] the bacterial flagellum?
[] no transitional fossils?
[] Darwin’s NAZISM!

Huh? I’m just saying we can’t know everything. In conclusion
[] you’re doomed to burn in eternal torment
[] I’ll be praying for you
[] Just sayin’
[] Please delete my account

Best regards,
[your signature here]

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 Frank says:

All right, Zubin, hit it! -- Frank's onstage cue to conductor Zubin Mehta during their collaborative effort with the L.A. Philharmonic orchestra in 1970