Iowahawk: Please Do Not Touch the Bureaucrats

HumorJuly 2009 • Views: 2,404

Iowahawk announces the opening of an exclusive new salon: Please do not touch the bureaucrats.

Music (throughout)
Motley Crue, “Girls Girls Girls”

Katherine Weymouth
Hey fellas, after a hard week lobbying down on K Street, we know what you want. When the sun goes down on the capitol dome, you want to kick off those white shoes and get comfortable with the Beltway’s hottest journalists and public policy analysts. And they’re all waiting for you at the Washington Chrome Post.

Sexy Reverb Voice
mmmm…. the Washington Chrome Post.

Katherine Weymouth
The Washington Chrome Post, home of DC’s most uninhibited panel discussions, with dozens of key government policy analysts waiting to make all your lobbying fantasies come true. Whether your tastes run to heath care, union pensions, or asphalt contracting, let the Washington Chrome Post show you the kind of full-frontal journalism that will make yours an evening to remember.

Sexy Reverb Voice
ooh…. journalism. Tee hee!

Jump to bottom

255 comments

Shug Wed, Jul 8, 2009 10:56:49am

The lobbyist comes first

I hope so. He's paying

MrSilverDragon Wed, Jul 8, 2009 10:57:50am

So when are they going to announce that Iowahawk is a national treasure? He deserves that title.

CIA Reject Wed, Jul 8, 2009 10:58:18am

Once again life imitates Iowahawk...

Baier Wed, Jul 8, 2009 10:58:36am

Haha, One of my favorites! Way to go!

Shug Wed, Jul 8, 2009 10:59:07am

I just felt a thrill go up my leg

Semper Gumbi Wed, Jul 8, 2009 10:59:28am

Some enterprising internet geek needs to make this into a video ad. I bet it would be hilarious!

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 10:59:28am

Be sure to skip Thursday nights. Barney Frank does his pole routine.

Cannadian Club Akbar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 10:59:31am

re: #2 MrSilverDragon

So when are they going to announce that Iowahawk is a national treasure? He deserves that title.

Shelia Jackson Lee is all over it....
/

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:01:22am

MrSilverDragon Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:02:32am

re: #7 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Be sure to skip Thursday nights. Barney Frank does his pole routine.

Well, it's nice to know that my gag reflex still works... :P

JohnnyReb Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:02:40am

Such talent. Well sometimes this stuff does just seem to write itself lately.

VioletTiger Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:02:44am

re: #7 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Be sure to skip Thursday nights. Barney Frank does his pole routine.

Ahhhhhhh........brain bleach!

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:03:24am

re: #10 MrSilverDragon

Well, it's nice to know that my gag reflex still works... :P

The really sad thing was that made me wonder if Barney's still does

doppelganglander Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:03:34am

Monday is open mic night, when the freshmen Blue Dog Democrats gyrate between their positions back in the district and the ones they take under Mistress Nancy's watchfful eye.

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:04:55am

re: #14 doppelganglander

Monday is open mic night, when the freshmen Blue Dog Democrats gyrate between their positions back in the district and the ones they take under Mistress Nancy's watchfful eye.

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

Shug Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:05:27am

the toilet stalls accomodate stances of all widths too

MrSilverDragon Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:05:42am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

Oh, that's so many levels of wrong.

subsailor68 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:05:47am

re: #7 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Be sure to skip Thursday nights. Barney Frank does his pole routine.

And the music he does it to is just great:

The minute you waltzed through the door,
I could see you were a man of distinction,
A real big spender,
Hey there Barney,
Speeeend a trillion bucks on me!

doppelganglander Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:05:48am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

Oh, dude, that's disturbing. But hilarious.

VioletTiger Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:05:55am

re: #14 doppelganglander

Monday is open mic night, when the freshmen Blue Dog Democrats gyrate between their positions back in the district and the ones they take under Mistress Nancy's watchfful eye.

Note to self--never eat lunch and read LGF.

Mad Al-Jaffee Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:05:55am

Pretty good, but my favorite is still "My Fair Blogger."

BlueCanuck Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:06:26am

Don't miss the grand finale on the Woodward and Bernstein main stage, where Rahm Emanuela will perform his forbidden pirouette too hot for the Joffrey!

Pfft, he's so behind the times. Trudeau did it many times, and way before him.

Shug Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:07:03am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

No jello needed.

Mad Al-Jaffee Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:07:03am

I wonder what goes on in the champagne room.

KenJen Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:07:14am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

Green jello, right? Global climate warming change and all.

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:07:16am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

. . .in thongs. :(

scottishbuzzsaw Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:07:22am

"...so slippery when wet."

Oh, I just hate where Iowahawk sends my mind at times.

*scrub scrub*

subsailor68 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:07:48am

re: #23 Shug

No jello needed.

Yeah, they've got plenty of cottage cheese I'll bet.

;-)

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:08:01am

re: #16 Shug

the toilet stalls accomodate stances of all widths too

Width for two?

MandyManners Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:08:13am

re: #7 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Be sure to skip Thursday nights. Barney Frank does his pole routine.

You are cruel.

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:08:15am

re: #28 subsailor68

lol

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:08:21am

re: #24 Mad Al-Jaffee

I wonder what goes on in the champagne room.

There is no sex in the Champagne room.

Just go to the bathroom and tap the foot in the stall next to yours.

BlueCanuck Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:08:31am

re: #26 Creeping Eruption

*WHIFF* *WHIFF* *WHIFF* Gah, my eyes teh goggles do nothing. Speak up so I can whack you properly. *WHIFF* *WHIFF*

Shug Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:08:37am

re: #28 subsailor68

Yeah, they've got plenty of cottage cheese I'll bet.

;-)

and helen has some of that fumunda cheese

Mad Al-Jaffee Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:08:49am

re: #28 subsailor68

Yeah, they've got plenty of cottage cheese I'll bet.

;-)

and pork

MandyManners Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:09:06am

re: #13 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

The really sad thing was that made me wonder if Barney's still does

Mine does. I just had to spit out my chicken salad.

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:09:22am

re: #30 MandyManners

You are cruel.

No, cruel would be to suggest the pole routine doesn't actually involve him being on the stage for the routine

MandyManners Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:09:47am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

Man, you're on a roll.

MrSilverDragon Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:09:58am

re: #34 Shug

and helen has some of that fumunda cheese

I just broke. I heard an audible snap. Do I smell toast?

Douchecanoe and Ryan Too Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:10:36am

The sheer volume of disturbing imagery in this thread is enough to make one's head explode.

/No, not that kind of head...

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:10:45am

re: #38 MandyManners

Man, you're on a roll.

Sickening, isn't it?

Shug Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:11:28am

re: #38 MandyManners

Man, you're on a roll.

challah !

redstateredneck Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:11:39am

re: #5 Shug

I just felt a thrill go up my leg

Sexy Reverb Voice
oooh...federal stimulus.

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:11:52am

re: #40 thedopefishlives

The sheer volume of disturbing imagery in this thread is enough to make one's head explode.

/No, not that kind of head...

Whew.

I guess Chris Matthews can roll the mop bucket back to the closet and see to his tingling again

MandyManners Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:12:02am

re: #37 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

No, cruel would be to suggest the pole routine doesn't actually involve him being on the stage for the routine

Head? Meet desk.

AIIIYYEEEEEEEEEE.

JohnnyReb Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:12:12am

re: #41 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Sickening, isn't it?

Did you eat an extra bowl of just plain nasty flakes this morning?

Gearhead Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:12:21am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

That's Senator Bubbles.

Danny Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:13:49am

I'd sure like some of whatever he has in that huge pipe.

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:14:26am

Thrill to Cynthia Mckinney doing her world famous strip limbo!

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:15:02am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

Why are you forgetting my two moonbat Senators, Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell?

*vomit*

jill e Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:15:05am

From Lexington Green:

The Quayle-O-Meter goes DingDingDingDingDingDing!

Obama in Moscow:

Along the way, you gave us a pretty good deal on Alaska. Thank you.

D’OH!

The man is a Laff Riot!

That’s the way to “hit the Reset button”, Mr. President. Remind the Russians of perhaps the stupidest thing they ever did.

(Can you imagine the teeth-grinding rage of a person like Putin, a guy who has clawed his way to the top on sheer wit, cunning and brutality, having to deal with this lightweight and take him seriously? I almost feel sorry for Putin.)

Can you imagine if any Republican said this? How about if Sarah Palin said it? Geez.

Holidays are Family Fun Time Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:15:33am

Hello Lizards! It is damp and gray in the Very Far Western Suburbs of Chicagoland today.

I perused the headlines and have determined that no one famous has died since last night.

How are you-all and what are we talking about?

Shug Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:15:44am

and on Tuesday nights, the ladies from CAIR feature FULL FACIAL NUDITY

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:15:56am

re: #48 Danny

I'd sure like some of whatever he has in that huge pipe.

That might even qualify as a chalice.

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:16:17am

MandyManners Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:16:17am

re: #49 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Thrill to Cynthia Mckinney doing her world famous strip limbo!

Egad! Now, you've done it.

*whack*

I can't take any more.

Gearhead Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:16:23am

re: #49 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Thrill to Cynthia Mckinney doing her world famous strip limbo!

I just threw up a LOT in my mouth...

lawhawk Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:16:32am

Well, they are familiar with the Marble Arch and Tattletails.

Cannadian Club Akbar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:16:35am

re: #49 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Thrill to Cynthia Mckinney doing her world famous strip limbo!

She can't get under the bar for 2 reasons:
1. Crazy hair.
2. Eyes bug out to far.

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:16:56am

re: #50 FurryOldGuyJeans

Why are you forgetting my two moonbat Senators, Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell?

*vomit*

Got them scheduled for Monday assuming the 50 gallon drum of vegetable oil gets in on time

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:17:08am

re: #52 ggt

Hello Lizards! It is damp and gray in the Very Far Western Suburbs of Chicagoland today.

I perused the headlines and have determined that no one famous has died since last night.

How are you-all and what are we talking about?

Is MJ still dead? Or are they just going to have another memorial service to fleece the fans?

Eowyn2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:17:43am

It beats the Virgin Sacrifices in the Capon Trade bill.

SanFranciscoZionist Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:17:52am

re: #51 jill e

From Lexington Green:

The Quayle-O-Meter goes DingDingDingDingDingDing!

Obama in Moscow:

Along the way, you gave us a pretty good deal on Alaska. Thank you.

D’OH!

The man is a Laff Riot!

That’s the way to “hit the Reset button”, Mr. President. Remind the Russians of perhaps the stupidest thing they ever did.

(Can you imagine the teeth-grinding rage of a person like Putin, a guy who has clawed his way to the top on sheer wit, cunning and brutality, having to deal with this lightweight and take him seriously? I almost feel sorry for Putin.)

Can you imagine if any Republican said this? How about if Sarah Palin said it? Geez.

Putin deserves whatever he gets, and I don't think Alaska is his biggest worry these days.

Holidays are Family Fun Time Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:18:02am

re: #61 FurryOldGuyJeans

Is MJ still dead? Or are they just going to have another memorial service to fleece the fans?

They'll probably take it on the road. World-wide tour.

redstateredneck Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:18:03am

re: #59 Cannadian Club Akbar

She can't get under the bar for 2 reasons:
1. Crazy hair.
2. Eyes bug out to far.

I'm just prayin' she didn't bring those crayons.
:X

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:19:02am

re: #64 ggt

They'll probably take it on the road. World-wide tour.

Oh, can do it in conjunction with the Obama US Apology Tour 2009.

CIA Reject Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:19:05am

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

You forgot Ted Kennedy!

*ducks*

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:19:07am

re: #59 Cannadian Club Akbar

She can't get under the bar for 2 reasons:
1. Crazy hair.
2. Eyes bug out to far.

Are you kidding me? They had to shut down Gaza when she did it there!

Danny Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:19:44am

re: #54 Creeping Eruption

That might even qualify as a chalice.

Yeah, or maybe even a dog.

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:19:51am

re: #67 CIA Reject

You forgot Ted Kennedy!

*ducks*

The problem is that Teddy would eat the jello instead of just wrestling in it, especially if there was booze in the jello.

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:19:55am

BlueCanuck Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:19:58am

re: #68 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Are you kidding me? They had to shut down Gaza when she did it there!

Standing room only in all the emergency rooms too.

Kosh's Shadow Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:20:18am

For the really hard core, they have sex shows-
where they can watch the taxpayers get screwed.

BlueCanuck Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:20:30am

re: #71 buzzsawmonkey

Does she have dynamite? She's almost hit bedrock.

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:20:32am

CIA Reject Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:20:38am

re: #70 FurryOldGuyJeans

:-)

subsailor68 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:20:47am

Actually, a friend did get to see Barney Frank do a pole dance. When I asked her what she thought of it, she said,

"Well! I can tell you this...I never sausage a thing in my life."

Gearhead Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:20:51am

re: #60 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Got them scheduled for Monday assuming the 50 gallon drum of vegetable oil gets in on time

Not as slippery as Harry Reid, but he has a schedule conflict.

Eowyn2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:21:39am

re: #49 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Thrill to Cynthia Mckinney doing her world famous strip limbo!

On a tug boat

KenJen Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:22:10am

re: #49 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Thrill to Cynthia McKinney doing her world famous strip limbo!

re: #59 Cannadian Club Akbar

She can't get under the bar for 2 reasons:
1. Crazy hair.
2. Eyes bug out to far.

I heard she performs that routine for the seamen aboard the Arion.

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:22:18am

Bureaucrats everywhere, and not a drop of sanity in sight:

Jul 7, 2009 10:05 pm US/Pacific
[CA] Budget Battle Devolves Into Food Fight
Reporting Mike Dello Stritto

SACRAMENTO (CBS13) ― Seven days after the new fiscal year began, the state of California still appears to be far from a budget solution.

Disabled protesters, angry over cuts to vital services, were arrested outside the Capitol on Tuesday; inside, lawmakers bickered about fruits and juices.

Danny Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:22:56am

re: #69 Danny

By golly, it IS a dog....he smokes border collie!

Honorary Yooper Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:23:14am

re: #77 subsailor68

Actually, a friend did get to see Barney Frank do a pole dance. When I asked her what she thought of it, she said,

"Well! I can tell you this...I never sausage a thing in my life."

That's a wiener.

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:23:36am

re: #67 CIA Reject

You forgot Ted Kennedy!

*ducks*

Ted's in the back with Johnny Kerry munching on gin soaked raisins, while Madeline Albright and Theresa Heinz give them lap dances.

Munching on gin soaked raisins sounds vaguely dirty now that I think about it.

Shug Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:23:48am

re: #83 Honorary Yooper

That's a wiener.

a fwankfurter

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:24:19am

Drunken foreigner shocks Spain with his generosity
Jul. 8, 2009 10:23 AM
Associated Press

MADRID - A British man who arrived at a Spanish airport after having too much to drink has been taken into custody - not for bad behavior but for being too generous.

Turns out the tourist had recently received an inheritance, and he had started to give away 52,000 ($72,285) he was carrying in cash and travelers checks.

SanFranciscoZionist Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:24:47am

re: #86 FurryOldGuyJeans

Drunken foreigner shocks Spain with his generosity
Jul. 8, 2009 10:23 AM
Associated Press

It's illegal to give people money in Spain?

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:24:55am

re: #82 Danny

By golly, it IS a dog....he smokes border collie!

Most just smoke the Collie, but to each his own.

debutaunt Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:25:24am

re: #52 ggt

Hello Lizards! It is damp and gray in the Very Far Western Suburbs of Chicagoland today.

I perused the headlines and have determined that no one famous has died since last night.

How are you-all and what are we talking about?

I'm not feeling 100%, so if you want to keep an eye on me...

sattv4u2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:25:38am

re: #88 Creeping Eruption

Most just smoke the Collie, but to each his own.

I've smoked Camels before, non filtered even. But never a Collie

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:25:44am

Man sentenced for secretly living in attic
Jul. 7, 2009 03:46 PM
Associated Press

WILKES-BARRE, Pa. - An Arkansas man who lived in a Pennsylvania family's attic for more than a week has been sentenced to jail time.

Holidays are Family Fun Time Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:25:48am

All right then, you-all have a great afternoon!

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:25:52am

redstateredneck Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:25:57am

re: #89 debutaunt

I'm not feeling 100%, so if you want to keep an eye on me...

No wonder, after reading this thread!

sattv4u2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:26:17am

re: #89 debutaunt

I'm not feeling 100%, so if you want to keep an eye on me...

Calling Dr Kevorkian , Calling Dr Jack Kevorkian !

Cannadian Club Akbar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:26:20am

re: #84 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Ted's in the back with Johnny Kerry munching on gin soaked raisins, while Madeline Albright and Theresa Heinz give them lap dances.

Munching on gin soaked raisins sounds vaguely dirty now that I think about it.

I figured Madeline Albright and Theresa Heinz WERE the gin soaked raisins.

MandyManners Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:26:30am

re: #81 FurryOldGuyJeans

Bureaucrats everywhere, and not a drop of sanity in sight:

Jul 7, 2009 10:05 pm US/Pacific
[CA] Budget Battle Devolves Into Food Fight
Reporting Mike Dello Stritto

I'm getting a very strong sense of deja vu about the bickering over the food.

VioletTiger Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:26:57am

re: #81 FurryOldGuyJeans
California should be Exhibit 1 on what can happen to the entire country if we keep on the current path. Shame we are just about the only ones paying attention.

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:27:22am

NH tax evader denies booby-trapping property
Jul. 7, 2009 12:10 PM
Associated Press

CONCORD, N.H. - A convicted tax evader has denied at his trial that he booby-trapped his New Hampshire property to kill federal agents.

Ed Brown said Tuesday that explosives in the woods around his fortified home were designed to scare off intruders, including agents - not harm them.

100

BlueCanuck Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:27:23am

re: #97 MandyManners

I'm getting a very strong sense of deja vu about the bickering over the food.

Let them eat cake?

101

sattv4u2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:27:23am

re: #91 FurryOldGuyJeans

Man sentenced for secretly living in attic
Jul. 7, 2009 03:46 PM
Associated Press

They should have just let him stay in thet attic.

PRISON , Air conditioned , TV , 3 meals a day

ATTIC , not ,no ,none !

102

MandyManners Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:27:43am

re: #93 buzzsawmonkey

Refrain, in Spain, from offering free gain.

Is it that plain?

103

debutaunt Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:27:45am

re: #81 FurryOldGuyJeans

Bureaucrats everywhere, and not a drop of sanity in sight:

Jul 7, 2009 10:05 pm US/Pacific
[CA] Budget Battle Devolves Into Food Fight
Reporting Mike Dello Stritto

They will do an amazing job running the healthcare system.

104

truth stick Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:28:00am

re: #50 FurryOldGuyJeans

Why are you forgetting my two moonbat Senators, Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell?

*vomit*

I always try to forget that those two are our senators, of course they make ol' bug eyes look like a genius.

105

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:28:28am

106

Killgore Trout Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:28:38am

Republican talking about science, technology and the environment......
Arizona GOP state senator: Earth is 6,000 years old!

Youtube Video

Heh.

107

MandyManners Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:28:45am

re: #100 BlueCanuck

Let them eat cake?

No, much more recent--within the past two years.

108

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:29:45am

re: #98 VioletTiger

California should be Exhibit 1 on what can happen to the entire country if we keep on the current path. Shame we are just about the only ones paying attention.

People are starting to take notice, but not a lot can be done until 2010, and with the breakneck pace Congress and Our Man Obama are using to enact their agenda makes it a juggernaut hard to stop since they are not listening to those they represent.

109

Killgore Trout Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:30:04am

Anyone object to this?
US demands UBS comply in tax evasion case

The United States is to continue its lawsuit against Switzerland's largest bank, UBS, to try to force it to identify thousands of US clients with confidential UBS accounts.

The Justice Department said in a brief filed with a Miami court on Tuesday that it was pressing ahead with its case to reveal information about 52,000 Americans suspected of using the bank to hide nearly $15 billion (SFr16.3 billion) in assets and evade US taxes

110

Cannadian Club Akbar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:30:22am

re: #106 Killgore Trout

Republican talking about science, technology and the environment......
Arizona GOP state senator: Earth is 6,000 years old!

Youtube Video

Heh.

It only looks like it is in its 5800s.

111

doppelganglander Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:30:45am

If you think Troofers will eventually wise up and go away, you are probably wrong.

Moon landing debunkers won't fade away
Forty years, people.

112

MrSilverDragon Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:30:53am

re: #109 Killgore Trout

Anyone object to this?
US demands UBS comply in tax evasion case

No objections here, but I'm poor, so...

113

debutaunt Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:31:05am

re: #106 Killgore Trout

Republican talking about science, technology and the environment......
Arizona GOP state senator: Earth is 6,000 years old!

Youtube Video

Heh.

Must have been a clever dinosaur that made the flute.

114

A Man for all Seasons Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:31:10am

Good Afternoon Lizards!
How is everyone today? I was at my lawyers office today and he had a Glenn Beck book in the waiting room.. So I read a chapter..That dude is Hinky..

115

SanFranciscoZionist Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:32:05am

re: #114 HoosierHoops

Good Afternoon Lizards!
How is everyone today? I was at my lawyers office today and he had a Glenn Beck book in the waiting room.. So I read a chapter..That dude is Hinky..

Does your lawyer KNOW he has a Glenn Beck book in his waiting room?

116

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:32:17am

re: #109 Killgore Trout

Anyone object to this?
US demands UBS comply in tax evasion case

Yeah, the Swiss:

Swiss to stop UBS handing over data in U.S. tax row
Wed Jul 8, 2009 9:26am EDT
By Lisa Jucca

ZURICH (Reuters) - Switzerland has vowed to prevent UBS from handing over client information to U.S. authorities, in an attempt to defend bank secrecy, saying a tax case targeting its main bank is souring diplomatic ties.

117

A Man for all Seasons Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:32:22am

re: #111 doppelganglander

If you think Troofers will eventually wise up and go away, you are probably wrong.

Moon landing debunkers won't fade away
Forty years, people.

They didn't land on the Moon.. They landed at the grassy knoll
/

118

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:32:32am

re: #109 Killgore Trout

Anyone object to this?
US demands UBS comply in tax evasion case

Not so sure the Swiss are going to be happy about the demand. Would not be surprised if they told US to take a long walk off a short pier.

119

JohnnyReb Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:32:33am

re: #108 FurryOldGuyJeans

People are starting to take notice, but not a lot can be done until 2010, and with the breakneck pace Congress and Our Man Obama are using to enact their agenda makes it a juggernaut hard to stop since they are not listening to those they represent.

These few lines tells me all I need to know about the government in CA:

"The governor's turned from an action hero into just another politician," Senator Florez said. "He should really, really take a course on fundamental government on how the legislature works."

"The fact that he doesn't understand these things worries me," he added.

It seriously sounds like a couple of little kids arguing with each other. Our elected government in action. They are truly a bunch of fruits and nuts.

120

scottishbuzzsaw Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:33:07am

re: #114 HoosierHoops

Good Afternoon Lizards!
How is everyone today? I was at my lawyers office today and he had a Glenn Beck book in the waiting room.. So I read a chapter..That dude is Hinky..

What the hell kind of word is 'hinky?'

*channelling Tommy Lee Jones*

121

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:33:27am

re: #118 Creeping Eruption

Not so sure the Swiss are going to be happy about the demand. Would not be surprised if they told US to take a long walk off a short pier.

re: #116 FurryOldGuyJeans

Like I said . . .

122

VioletTiger Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:33:30am

re: #111 doppelganglander

If you think Troofers will eventually wise up and go away, you are probably wrong.

Moon landing debunkers won't fade away
Forty years, people.

One of my grandmoms was a moon-landing troofer. Of course, we didn't call it that back then. She was very old and very Italian and until the day she died (at 96) she insisted it was all done in Hollywood.

123

Danny Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:33:33am

re: #106 Killgore Trout

Arizona GOP state senator: Earth is 6,000 years old!

Maybe she's counting in Old Testament years...

124

sattv4u2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:33:46am

re: #109 Killgore Trout

Anyone object to this?
US demands UBS comply in tax evasion case

A little. The monies are already taxed BEFORE they end up in a "Swiss Bank Account". What the gov't objects too is that they can't tax the interest earned YEARLY if the bank is not in the US (think of your end of year savings acct statement, you have to put the interest earned as income on your 1040)

The gov't already took a bite out of the original apple, and will get more if the depositor takes the money from a Swiss account and spends it in the US

125

avanti Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:34:08am

More on Palin from 538.com

Palin Polarizer ?.

126

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:34:12am

re: #114 HoosierHoops

Good Afternoon Lizards!
How is everyone today? I was at my lawyers office today and he had a Glenn Beck book in the waiting room.. So I read a chapter..That dude is Hinky..

So who ya suing?

127

Killgore Trout Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:34:34am

re: #116 FurryOldGuyJeans

Well, I meant aside from the Swiss. I assume their secret banking system serves a purpose (other than tax evasion) but I don't know what the purpose is.

128

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:34:35am

Turtle named for Obama freed on Independence Day
Jul. 4, 2009 11:36 AM
Associated Press

KEY WEST, Fla. - A sea turtle named after President Barack Obama that was rescued just before Inauguration Day has been set free on Independence Day.

Obama the loggerhead sea turtle was found ailing off a Key West beach on Jan. 19, the eve of the inauguration. Suffering from an intestinal impaction, the 200-pound female was nursed back to health with a diet of squid and mineral oil at the Turtle Hospital in Marathon.

129

opnion Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:34:38am

re: #109 Killgore Trout

Anyone object to this?
US demands UBS comply in tax evasion case

There is very little more important to this Administration than taxing us to death.

130

debutaunt Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:34:41am

re: #119 JohnnyReb

These few lines tells me all I need to know about the government in CA:

"The governor's turned from an action hero into just another politician," Senator Florez said. "He should really, really take a course on fundamental government on how the legislature works."

"The fact that he doesn't understand these things worries me," he added.

It seriously sounds like a couple of little kids arguing with each other. Our elected government in action. They are truly a bunch of fruits and nuts.

It works that way with or without the Gov. Now, they are running out of money to spend and have no idea how to stop.

131

sattv4u2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:35:14am

re: #127 Killgore Trout

Well, I meant aside from the Swiss. I assume their secret banking system serves a purpose (other than tax evasion) but I don't know what the purpose is.

see my 124

132

A Man for all Seasons Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:35:35am

re: #115 SanFranciscoZionist

Does your lawyer KNOW he has a Glenn Beck book in his waiting room?

He is very religious.. I think most lawyers are blood sucking scum (except for lizard lawyers).. So I picked someone that would have a guilty conscience if he screwed me over LOL

133

doppelganglander Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:35:42am

re: #122 VioletTiger

One of my grandmoms was a moon-landing troofer. Of course, we didn't call it that back then. She was very old and very Italian and until the day she died (at 96) she insisted it was all done in Hollywood.

Maybe "Capricorn One" was actually a documentary. How do we really know?

134

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:35:54am

re: #127 Killgore Trout

Well, I meant aside from the Swiss. I assume their secret banking system serves a purpose (other than tax evasion) but I don't know what the purpose is.

I object to this since the Rule of Law is obviously not on this administration's agenda, only populist pandering.

135

Mad Al-Jaffee Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:36:26am

re: #91 FurryOldGuyJeans

"I have pop-pop in the attic."

-George Michael Bluth

136

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:36:29am

137

A Man for all Seasons Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:36:35am

re: #126 Creeping Eruption

So who ya suing?

Still working on my Start up Charity and the 301c paperwork....

138

Killgore Trout Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:36:56am

re: #124 sattv4u2

A little. The monies are already taxed BEFORE they end up in a "Swiss Bank Account". What the gov't objects too is that they can't tax the interest earned YEARLY if the bank is not in the US (think of your end of year savings acct statement, you have to put the interest earned as income on your 1040)

The gov't already took a bite out of the original apple, and will get more if the depositor takes the money from a Swiss account and spends it in the US

They can and do tax foreign interest. There's a section on your tax form for it.

139

Kenneth Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:37:20am

Dude, Where’s My Eight-Hundred Trillion?

Not stimulating the economy was the plan behind the stimulus package all along. Read:

Yet analysts and federal contracting experts say that, in many ways, stimulus spending is going about as quickly as expected. Dispensing billions of dollars, it turns out, simply takes time, particularly given government contracting rules and the fact that much of federal spending is funneled through the states. Moreover, some spending was intentionally spread out over several years, and other projects are fundamentally more long-term in nature. “There are real constraints—physical, legal, and then just the process of how fast you can commit funds,” says George Guess, co-director of the Center for Public Finance Research at American University’s School of Public Affairs. “It’s the way it works in a decentralized democracy, and that’s what we’re stuck with.”

Then how about this lovely VodkaPundit Two-Step Plan:

1. Repeal the Stimulus Package immediately.
2. Declare a payroll deduction tax holiday just as immediately.

Boom. No more wasteful spending, and the since the Tax Holiday wouldn’t include income taxes, the money would go to those who pay proportionately the most in payroll taxes — the working poor and middle class. Oh, and people get to spend the money how they like.

Which is why it’ll never happen.

140

A Man for all Seasons Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:37:36am

re: #120 scottishbuzzsaw

What the hell kind of word is 'hinky?'

*channelling Tommy Lee Jones*

Hi Scottish! You don't know what hinky means? Something wacko like jacko

141

KenJen Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:37:59am

re: #124 sattv4u2

A little. The monies are already taxed BEFORE they end up in a "Swiss Bank Account". What the gov't objects too is that they can't tax the interest earned YEARLY if the bank is not in the US (think of your end of year savings acct statement, you have to put the interest earned as income on your 1040)

The gov't already took a bite out of the original apple, and will get more if the depositor takes the money from a Swiss account and spends it in the US

Good point. Also, the article says "suspected" tax evaders.

142

JohnnyReb Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:38:08am

re: #124 sattv4u2

A little. The monies are already taxed BEFORE they end up in a "Swiss Bank Account". What the gov't objects too is that they can't tax the interest earned YEARLY if the bank is not in the US (think of your end of year savings acct statement, you have to put the interest earned as income on your 1040)

The gov't already took a bite out of the original apple, and will get more if the depositor takes the money from a Swiss account and spends it in the US

I dont think the guys that put their money in Swiss banks will ever let it sit somewhere that they will get a 1040I from their money. Even if the banks are forced to release that info, the big money will already have been moved some place else the Fed can't reach.

143

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:38:17am

Police find ton of pot in truck loaded with paper
Jul. 6, 2009 12:09 PM
Associated Press

BLOOMINGTON, Ill. - Illinois State Police have arrested an Arizona man after finding more than 2,000 pounds of marijuana hidden in the back of a tractor trailer he drove on Interstate 55.

State Police Lt. Fred Winterroth says the 50-year-old driver is from Tucson, Ariz., and is being questioned. He hasn't been formally charged.

Winterroth says the marijuana is worth about $10 million.

144

doppelganglander Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:38:20am

re: #135 Mad Al-Jaffee

"I have pop-pop in the attic."

-George Michael Bluth

You always get an upding for "Arrested Development" references.

145

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:38:45am

re: #141 KenJen

Good point. Also, the article says "suspected" tax evaders.

Which for the media means already found guilty and convicted.

146

Killgore Trout Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:38:57am

re: #134 FurryOldGuyJeans

I object to this since the Rule of Law is obviously not on this administration's agenda, only populist pandering.

If they are not paying their legally owed taxes why can't the administration file a court case about it. The only ones breaking the law are the tax evaders.

147

Kragar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:39:00am

re: #135 Mad Al-Jaffee

"I have pop-pop in the attic."

-George Michael Bluth

The mere fact you call it pop-pop shows me you aren't ready.

148

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:39:07am

149

sattv4u2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:39:15am

re: #138 Killgore Trout

They can and do tax foreign interest. There's a section on your tax form for it.

But IIRC not until you have taken a withdrawel from the account. Now they want to tax you for having it sit there, just like a domestic acct

150

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:39:20am

re: #145 FurryOldGuyJeans

Unless it is a wise latina woman with a lot of experience, right?

Or an Obama appointee

151

Killgore Trout Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:39:40am

re: #142 JohnnyReb

Good point.

152

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:40:03am

re: #148 buzzsawmonkey
I still suspect a shell game

and I question the timing

153

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:40:43am

Endangered species' DNA to be stored at NYC museum
Jul. 7, 2009 03:44 PM
Associated Press

NEW YORK - Frozen DNA samples from endangered species in the nation's parks are being added to a New York City collection to help researchers study and save the animals.

154

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:41:31am

155

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:41:33am

re: #153 FurryOldGuyJeans

Cool, then we can start buildiong on the snail darter and spotted owl lands

156

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:41:45am

re: #153 FurryOldGuyJeans

Endangered species' DNA to be stored at NYC museum
Jul. 7, 2009 03:44 PM
Associated Press

So everyone with a job should start lining up to give a sample?

157

A Man for all Seasons Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:42:08am

re: #153 FurryOldGuyJeans

Endangered species' DNA to be stored at NYC museum
Jul. 7, 2009 03:44 PM
Associated Press

Good idea! There are only 3000 Cheetahs alive....

158

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:42:19am

Couples saying 'I don't' to expensive weddings
by Olivia Barker - Jul. 7, 2009 08:59 PM
USA Today

Heather Strickland fashioned her bridal bouquet from wholesaled pink roses. Ashley Butler and Kevin Cohea catered their own cheese and veggie plates for their wedding reception - with the help of Sam's Club. And Tina Czech is planning her big day for the holidays, when her local church already will be outfitted with glittering trees and more than 300 poinsettias.

Whether out of propriety or necessity, weddings are being tweaked - if not turned upside down - by the recession.

159

scottishbuzzsaw Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:42:25am

re: #140 HoosierHoops

Hi Scottish! You don't know what hinky means? Something wacko like jacko

I like it!

Just answered the doorbell...husband sent flowers to cheer me up (been having a little setback health-wise). How did I get so lucky? *sniffle*

Off to call him...take care all!

160

opnion Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:42:29am

re: #146 Killgore Trout

If they are not paying their legally owed taxes why can't the administration file a court case about it. The only ones breaking the law are the tax evaders.

They could get Cabinet positions.

161

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:42:33am

162

sattv4u2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:42:42am

re: #146 Killgore Trout

If they are not paying their legally owed taxes why can't the administration file a court case about it. The only ones breaking the law are the tax evaders.

Again, they've already paid taxes on the ORIGINAL monies prior to it hitting a Swiss acct, so no "evasion" there
Put it this way. Lets say you made 1 million this year. The gov;t takes it's taxes. Then you buy an INVESTMENT property in Switzerland.hould the US gov't be allowed to sollect property taxes? After all,. it is US earned dollars that bought that. When you selll that property, should the US gov;t be allowed to tax the money you made off the sale?

163

debutaunt Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:42:55am

re: #157 HoosierHoops

Good idea! There are only 3000 Cheetahs alive....

How many Capitalists?

164

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:43:07am

re: #154 buzzsawmonkey

Now being collected: free market capitalist DNA.

Not if they are a registered voting Republican.

165

A Man for all Seasons Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:44:28am

re: #159 scottishbuzzsaw

I like it!

Just answered the doorbell...husband sent flowers to cheer me up (been having a little setback health-wise). How did I get so lucky? *sniffle*

Off to call him...take care all!

How sweet! What a nice guy...I usually only buy flowers after a fight..
The florist is on speed dial...
*wink*

166

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:44:36am

re: #163 debutaunt

How many Cougars? Blonde ones with great tomatoes is my fav

167

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:44:47am

Pro-marijuana ad pushes pot as Calif. budget fix
Jul. 8, 2009 06:37 AM
Associated Press

SAN FRANCISCO - A pro-marijuana group is launching another television bid to legalize pot in California - this time with the pitch that legalizing and taxing the drug could help solve the state's massive budget deficit.

The 30-second spot, airing Wednesday and paid for by the Marijuana Policy Project, features a retired 58-year-old state worker who says state leaders "are ignoring millions of Californians who want to pay taxes."

"We're marijuana consumers," says Nadene Herndon of Fair Oaks, who says she began using marijuana after suffering multiple strokes three years ago. "Instead of being treated like criminals for using a substance safer than alcohol, we want to pay our fair share."

168

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:45:30am

re: #167 FurryOldGuyJeans
Even if it fixes nothing for California, at least everyone will be mellow about it and then forget.

169

debutaunt Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:46:04am

re: #167 FurryOldGuyJeans

If they legalize pot, they'll never get around to drilling for oil here.

170

Spare O'Lake Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:46:33am

re: #161 buzzsawmonkey

And several hundred of them are in Congress.

You ain't lion, are you?

171

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:46:35am

re: #168 quiet man

Even if it fixes nothing for California, at least everyone will be mellow about it and then forget.

Hard to forget when everyone gets the munchies at the same time.

172

Killgore Trout Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:47:00am

re: #162 sattv4u2

Foreign interest is taxable. It has been for quite some time.

173

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:47:38am

re: #171 FurryOldGuyJeans
Flash: CA to raise taxes on Doritos, fritos, and dip.

film at 11

174

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:47:44am

Cops protect - and serve doughnuts
Jul. 4, 2009 12:11 PM

CLARE, Mich. - "Cops & Doughnuts" is more than a punchline. It's now a bakery in Michigan - owned by nine full-time employees of the Clare Police Department.

The newly renamed bakery opened Wednesday, offering doughnuts, cookies, muffins, brownies and bread. It also has mugs and T-shirts bearing the "Cops & Doughnuts, 100 Percent Cop-Owned" logo, and phrases including "You Have the Right to Remain Glazed" and "Handcuffs and Cream Puffs."

175

lawhawk Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:48:16am

re: #158 FurryOldGuyJeans

Couples saying 'I don't' to expensive weddings
by Olivia Barker - Jul. 7, 2009 08:59 PM
USA Today

Wow. People acting responsibly with their own money? What a shock. That they're doing it for their weddings? Incomprehensible! Inconceivable!

Seriously? People haven't been doing this all along? This isn't some new trend. USA Today is just getting around to it now...

176

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:48:23am

177

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:48:53am

9-11..yes I need a police officer because of a robery in progress..please send cherry filled, long johns, and the swat team

178

sattv4u2 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:48:58am

re: #172 Killgore Trout

Foreign interest is taxable. It has been for quite some time.

But it's offset (deductable) from the taxes the "host" country charges.

179

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:49:42am

re: #176 buzzsawmonkey

I don't know why, but your poem just brought up memories of "A boy and his dog."

180

Vicious Babushka Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:50:08am

re: #109 Killgore Trout

Anyone object to this?
US demands UBS comply in tax evasion case

The Swiss banks will not even reveal account information to the heirs of Holocaust victims, unless they can provide official, government-issued death certificates.

So you hope the tax grabbers will have better luck than the children of Holocaust victims?

181

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:50:46am

182

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:50:52am

Little people call for FCC to ban 'midget'
Jul. 5, 2009 11:12 AM
Associated Press

NEW YORK - Little people are calling on the Federal Communications Commission to ban the use of the word "midget" on broadcast TV.

The group Little People of America said Sunday the word is just as offensive as racial slurs.

183

doppelganglander Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:51:07am

re: #158 FurryOldGuyJeans

Couples saying 'I don't' to expensive weddings
by Olivia Barker - Jul. 7, 2009 08:59 PM
USA Today

That Tina Czech is a smart girl. I was married at Christmas and didn't spend a dime decorating the church.

184

OldLineTexan Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:51:16am

re: #148 buzzsawmonkey

It's only right that a turtle be named for Obama.

He's tortoise so much.

Is he a Washington Chrome Post turtle?

185

Cannadian Club Akbar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:51:17am

re: #179 Creeping Eruption

I don't know why, but your poem just brought up memories of "A boy and his dog."

The movie with Don Johnson?

186

Kenneth Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:51:38am

Our Sophist-in-Chief
by Peter Wehner

While I realize my efforts to decode Barack Obama may turn into a never-ending task, I want to focus on another of his rhetorical habits: his ceaseless attempts to portray himself as America's philosopher-king, the person standing not only above country but above politics itself. Obama is, he would have us believe, uniquely able to transcend old, tired, and rutted debates, to think anew, and to bring a fresh, creative approach to the problems of our time. He alone inhabits the upper world.
...President Obama's words reinforce the impression some of us have that his most dangerous personal characteristic is his other-worldly self-regard. He seems to believe he is unlike, and better than, any others who have come before him. He sees himself as a man of awe-inspiring intellectual honesty, a mind rinsed off of prejudice and bias. While the rest of the country is engaged in petty and trivial fights in political sand-boxes, Obama is America's playground attendant, teaching the rest of us how to act right and think right. It is all rather too much.

Finally, Obama fashions himself as the Great Liberator - freeing us from old arguments, old creeds, and old ways. Mentioning the past is meant to evoke barely disguised contempt; it is the harbor for antediluvian prejudices. Obama alone can remake the rules and remake the world. There is something vaguely utopian and deeply un-conservative in Obama's attitude. And, I might add, deeply unwise and dangerous as well.

187

Vicious Babushka Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:51:44am

re: #158 FurryOldGuyJeans

Couples saying 'I don't' to expensive weddings
by Olivia Barker - Jul. 7, 2009 08:59 PM
USA Today

Sounds like a plan to me. I will send this to my son and his fiancée.

188

Douchecanoe and Ryan Too Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:51:50am

re: #175 lawhawk

Wow. People acting responsibly with their own money? What a shock. That they're doing it for their weddings? Incomprehensible! Inconceivable!

Seriously? People haven't been doing this all along? This isn't some new trend. USA Today is just getting around to it now...

Realize that the modern-day media has been pushing fiscal irresponsibility and a "Get what you want, when you want it" attitude. I see it all over the place these days. So to them, people NOT acting on their impulses and being responsible adults is a shocker.

189

Vicious Babushka Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:52:55am

re: #65 redstateredneck

I'm just prayin' she didn't bring those crayons.
:X

She ate them.

190

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:53:19am

'Potter' star Jamie Waylett charged with growing marijuana
Jul. 8, 2009 06:45 AM
Bang Showbiz

'Harry Potter' star Jamie Waylett has been charged with growing cannabis.

The 19-year-old actor - who plays Hogwarts bully Vincent Crabbe in the hit wizard films - has been accused of growing 10 plants in his mother's house in North London.

191

SasquatchOnSteroids Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:53:21am

I'm sure Charlie Rangoon will get up on the floor and go off about these tax cheats.

How dare them.

192

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:53:35am

193

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:54:08am

re: #191 SasquatchOnSteroids

I'm sure Charlie Rangoon will get up on the floor and go off about these tax cheats.

How dare them.

Populism is on the rise again, and getting virulently toxic this time around.

194

OldLineTexan Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:54:09am

re: #190 FurryOldGuyJeans

'Potter' star Jamie Waylett charged with growing marijuana
Jul. 8, 2009 06:45 AM
Bang Showbiz

Heh, I just saw that. Shoulda moved to Hollywood, kid.

195

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:54:40am

196

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:54:44am

re: #194 OldLineTexan

He should have planted them in diagonal alley

197

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:54:50am

re: #185 Cannadian Club Akbar

The movie with Don Johnson?

Yup. The very very bizarre movie with Don Johnson

198

doppelganglander Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:54:57am

re: #192 buzzsawmonkey

There have been several rabbinic rulings against expensive weddings in the last few years.

Then I hope my daughter marries a Jewish man. She doesn't even have a boyfriend, but she's got some very expensive plans for her eventual wedding.

199

OldLineTexan Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:55:18am

re: #196 quiet man

He should have planted them in diagonal alley

Pot probably attracts werewolves.

200

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:56:01am

re: #199 OldLineTexan
Roll another silver bullet will ya, spot?

201

subsailor68 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:56:24am

re: #182 FurryOldGuyJeans

Little people call for FCC to ban 'midget'
Jul. 5, 2009 11:12 AM
Associated Press

NEW YORK - Little people are calling on the Federal Communications Commission to ban the use of the word "midget" on broadcast TV.

The group Little People of America said Sunday the word is just as offensive as racial slurs.

The FCC chairman was quoted as saying, "What's the problem? Ain't no big thing."

202

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:56:25am

War mules lead Marines to Afghanistan
by Tony Perry - Jul. 7, 2009 12:10 PM
Los Angeles Times

BRIDGEPORT, Calif. -- With 75 pounds of military gear cinched on her back, Annie was stubborn the whole way. The two Marines assigned to her pushed, pulled and sweet-talked her up the steep, twisting trail on the eastern side of the Sierra Nevada mountains.

"C'mon girl, you can make it," Lance Cpl. Chad Campbell, of Pleasant Hill, Mo., whispered into her ear.

"Only one more hill," Lance Cpl. Cameron Cross, of Altus, Okla., said as he shoved Annie's muscular hindquarters.

203

OldLineTexan Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:56:30am

re: #183 doppelganglander

That Tina Czech is a smart girl. I was married at Christmas and didn't spend a dime decorating the church.

Plus she's old-fashioned ... it's strictly Czech and mate, not the other way around.

204

Pianobuff Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:56:32am

It was meant to be a show case for healthy living, with the first lady, Michelle Obama, personally putting hand to pitch fork in a crowd of school children to dig up the first White House vegetable garden in more than 50 years.

Instead, an embarrassed White House admitted today that the plot - whose lettuce, herbs and other produce have been consumed by the first family, visiting dignitaries, local school children and a women's homeless shelter - had tested positive for elevated levels of lead.

Link

205

Cannadian Club Akbar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:56:42am

re: #197 Creeping Eruption

Yup. The very very bizarre movie with Don Johnson

Wasn't that bizarre if you watched it on acid. So I've heard...

206

OldLineTexan Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:56:58am

re: #200 quiet man

Roll another silver bullet will ya, spot?

Fatties the size of Coors cans!

/I see a market

207

lawhawk Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:56:58am

re: #183 doppelganglander

I found a couple of ways to save considerably. Some of them were simple - be nice to the vendors, and you'd be surprised at what they would do. Instead of bullying and demanding, we ended up getting a sweet rate at the caterer/shul that was $30-40 below the going rate there (and we had a friend's brother who was married there previously and was charged far more). Shopping around for the band, we found one in NJ that was several thousand less than LI bands. We got a bonus from the florist, since they did a job the night before and the day after, so they were keeping a bunch of extras around to liven up the place.

208

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:57:22am

re: #202 FurryOldGuyJeans
Was annie helping with the mules, too?

209

OldLineTexan Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:57:35am

re: #204 Pianobuff

It was meant to be a show case for healthy living, with the first lady, Michelle Obama, personally putting hand to pitch fork in a crowd of school children to dig up the first White House vegetable garden in more than 50 years.

Instead, an embarrassed White House admitted today that the plot - whose lettuce, herbs and other produce have been consumed by the first family, visiting dignitaries, local school children and a women's homeless shelter - had tested positive for elevated levels of lead.

Link

It's Bush's fault. He buried Cheney's other hunting buddies there.

210

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:58:04am

211

Kenneth Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:58:14am

The Turn Against Israel
John Podhoretz

To National Public Radio, the President made a point of invoking the ties that bind America to Israel and the “special relationship” between the two nations before asserting that:

...part of being a good friend is being honest. And I think there have been times where we are not as honest as we should be about the fact that the current direction, the current trajectory, in the region is profoundly negative, not only for Israeli interests but also U.S. interests. And that’s part of a new dialogue that I’d like to see encouraged in the region.

The President is, of course, entirely right about how “profoundly negative” the “current direction, the current trajectory, in the region” is for American and Israeli interests. A theocratic regime committed in word and spirit to Israel’s destruction is relentlessly marching ahead with the development of nuclear weaponry. The conclusion of its march poses not only a threat to Israel’s existence but portends a Persian Gulf arms race with implications that ought to terrify everyone. This is precisely the kind of “new dialogue” Israel and the United States should be pursuing in the Middle East—honesty about the trajectory of Iran.

But, of course, honest discourse about Iran was not the fearless truth Barack Obama wished to bestow upon Israel or the Muslim world.

One tiny detail gives the game away: Obama’s very use of the word “honest.” It was carefully chosen, and is pregnant with meaning.

In the matter of relations between nations, the adjective “honest” is often deployed to denote animosity. When, for example, a State Department official describes a discussion between diplomats as “open and honest,” that description is presumed to mean that the proceedings were heated and confrontational.

212

lawhawk Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:58:16am

re: #195 buzzsawmonkey

It was remedial herbology.

Meanwhile, looks like Hermoine Granger needs to worry about her witch's outfits when seen with the muggles.

213

Vicious Babushka Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:58:19am

re: #192 buzzsawmonkey

There have been several rabbinic rulings against expensive weddings in the last few years.

Like, if there wasn't a Psak Halachah do you think I'd spend the money? I'm totally broke! (But at least I am debt free)

214

Mad Al-Jaffee Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:58:26am

re: #182 FurryOldGuyJeans

Little people call for FCC to ban 'midget'
Jul. 5, 2009 11:12 AM
Associated Press

What's the big deal?

215

poteen Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:58:26am

re: #167 FurryOldGuyJeans

Pro-marijuana ad pushes pot as Calif. budget fix
Jul. 8, 2009 06:37 AM
Associated Press

They're taxing bars out of existence. Smart bar owners could adapt 'smoking lounges' to a profitable new business. Until the taxers catch up.

216

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:59:04am

re: #205 Cannadian Club Akbar

Wasn't that bizarre if you watched it on acid. So I've heard...

That is one movie I specifically would not watch on acid. (Not that I know anything about taking acid and what might be a good movie to watch while doing so.)

217

pre-Boomer Marine brat Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:59:19am

Does the Washington Chrome Post employ any poll dancers?

/*slobberpantdrool*

218

FurryOldGuyJeans Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:59:31am

July 8, 2009
White House spells Obama's name wrong
@ 2:45 pm by Eric Zimmermann

Someone might want to look into whether an impostor took President Obama's place during his trip to Russia

In a release touting an agreement between Obama and President Dmitry Medvedev over how to craft a follow-up to the START arms reduction treaty, the White House claimed the document had been signed by one "Barak Obama."

Whoops:

219

quiet man Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:59:52am

re: #216 Creeping Eruption
some windowpane in the corner of your eyes and you can even watch Universal Soldier

220

SasquatchOnSteroids Wed, Jul 8, 2009 11:59:54am

re: #204 Pianobuff

It was meant to be a show case for healthy living, with the first lady, Michelle Obama, personally putting hand to pitch fork in a crowd of school children to dig up the first White House vegetable garden in more than 50 years.

Instead, an embarrassed White House admitted today that the plot - whose lettuce, herbs and other produce have been consumed by the first family, visiting dignitaries, local school children and a women's homeless shelter - had tested positive for elevated levels of lead.

Link

Bacon, Lead-us, and Tomato sandwiches half off at the White House this week.

221

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:00:38pm

re: #212 lawhawk

It was remedial herbology.

Meanwhile, looks like Hermoine Granger needs to worry about her witch's outfits when seen with the muggles.

Least she is wearing underwear.

222

OldLineTexan Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:00:55pm

re: #212 lawhawk

It was remedial herbology.

Meanwhile, looks like Hermoine Granger needs to worry about her witch's outfits when seen with the muggles.

I'm going to need a scroll-and-a-half on the medicinal properties of ganja by next class, Crabbe.

/and Emma is wearing underwear, proving she's not an American starlet.

223

subsailor68 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:01:20pm

re: #210 buzzsawmonkey

Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues

In other news, the FCC announced today that Randy Newman has been scheduled to perform at the annual commission dinner.

Youtube Video

224

OldLineTexan Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:01:40pm

re: #214 Mad Al-Jaffee

What's the big deal?

Short tempers.

225

doppelganglander Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:01:43pm

re: #207 lawhawk

I found a couple of ways to save considerably. Some of them were simple - be nice to the vendors, and you'd be surprised at what they would do. Instead of bullying and demanding, we ended up getting a sweet rate at the caterer/shul that was $30-40 below the going rate there (and we had a friend's brother who was married there previously and was charged far more). Shopping around for the band, we found one in NJ that was several thousand less than LI bands. We got a bonus from the florist, since they did a job the night before and the day after, so they were keeping a bunch of extras around to liven up the place.

Very good. If the whole law thing doesn't pan out, you'd make an excellent wedding planner.

226

Cannadian Club Akbar Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:02:16pm

re: #216 Creeping Eruption

That is one movie I specifically would not watch on acid. (Not that I know anything about taking acid and what might be a good movie to watch while doing so.)

That one and Total Recall, so I've heard...

227

Killgore Trout Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:02:41pm

re: #204 Pianobuff
It's no big deal......
Lead in Garden Soils and Plants

The most serious source of exposure to soil lead is through direct ingestion (eating) of contaminated soil or dust. In general, plants do not absorb or accumulate lead. However, in soils testing high in lead, it is possible for some lead to be taken up. Studies have shown that lead does not readily accumulate in the fruiting parts of vegetable and fruit crops (e.g., corn, beans, squash, tomatoes, strawberries, apples). Higher concentrations are more likely to be found in leafy vegetables (e.g., lettuce) and on the surface of root crops (e.g., carrots).

Since plants do not take up large quantities of soil lead, the lead levels in soil considered safe for plants will be much higher than soil lead levels where eating of soil is a concern (pica). Generally, it has been considered safe to use garden produce grown in soils with total lead levels less than 300 ppm. The risk of lead poisoning through the food chain increases as the soil lead level rises above this concentration. Even at soil levels above 300 ppm, most of the risk is from lead contaminated soil or dust deposits on the plants rather than from uptake of lead by the plant.

Most urban gardens have lead. Chances are your veg garden has lead too.

228

3 wood Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:02:49pm

Good afternoon. So far the market is down about half a percent today.

Since Inauguration Day the Dow is down about 2% and the S&P 500 is up 2.8%.

Oil has dropped to $60.10 based on the market figuring that recovery is not within sight.

229

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:02:51pm

re: #219 quiet man

some windowpane in the corner of your eyes and you can even watch Universal Soldier

Nope. Don't know a thing about windowpanes either. Nada.

230

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:03:15pm

re: #226 Cannadian Club Akbar

That one and Total Recall, so I've heard...

Total recall is a different story.

231

Kenneth Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:03:43pm

People will argue about the text of Obama’s Cairo address as long as he is president, because he is to plain-spoken clarity what blue-hued cotton candy is to nutrient.

232

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:04:09pm

233

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:04:10pm

re: #222 OldLineTexan

I'm going to need a scroll-and-a-half on the medicinal properties of ganja by next class, Crabbe.

/and Emma is wearing underwear, proving she's not an American ~~starlet.~~ strumpet

234

scottishbuzzsaw Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:04:36pm

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.
~George Eliot

235

Pianobuff Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:05:13pm

re: #216 Creeping Eruption

That is one movie I specifically would not watch on acid. (Not that I know anything about taking acid and what might be a good movie to watch while doing so.)

The underground scenes of Topeka are already very "acidy" in the lighting and color. No drugs necessary.

236

pre-Boomer Marine brat Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:05:41pm

re: #232 buzzsawmonkey

Anybody notice that Obama seems to use the phrase "let me be perfectly clear"--which was a favorite phrase of Democratic bete noir Richard Nixon--an awful lot?

Interesting, I calls it.

Does he use "Trust me" ?

237

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:05:42pm

238

[deleted] Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:06:09pm

239

razorbacker Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:07:19pm

re: #15 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Helen Thomas, Barbra Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton

Topless Jello Wrestling.

My money is on the Jello.

240

Creeping Eruption Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:07:32pm

re: #235 Pianobuff

The underground scenes of Topeka are already very "acidy" in the lighting and color. No drugs necessary.

My thoughts exactly.

241

Spare O'Lake Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:07:46pm

Spend our way out of recession,
Borrow our way into bliss,
Buy 'til it hurts,
'Cause we're losin' our shirts,
Bid farewell to our dreams,
As with taxes He reams,
Each of us without even a kiss.

242

Dianna Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:08:16pm

re: #193 FurryOldGuyJeans

Populism is on the rise again, and getting virulently toxic this time around.

It's always toxic. I am not a populist, ever.

243

razorbacker Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:08:31pm

re: #232 buzzsawmonkey

Anybody notice that Obama seems to use the phrase "let me be perfectly clear"--which was a favorite phrase of Democratic bete noir Richard Nixon--an awful lot?

Interesting, I calls it.

Finish the phrase buzz:

"I am not a crook."

244

subsailor68 Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:09:29pm

re: #236 pre-Boomer Marine brat

Does he use "Trust me" ?

Probably. My favorite though, is when he says, "I am not a crock."

245

razorbacker Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:10:30pm

re: #228 3 wood

Good afternoon. So far the market is down about half a percent today.

Since Inauguration Day the Dow is down about 2% and the S&P 500 is up 2.8%.

Oil has dropped to $60.10 based on the market figuring that recovery is not within sight.

I'll have you know, Mr. Poopypants, that the market has to go down before it can go up.

*Someone really smart and dialed into the system told me that.*

246

3 wood Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:11:09pm

Joyce DeWitt DUI

You have got to see the arrest picture.

Wow. Time has not done nice things for Joyce.

247

Mad Al-Jaffee Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:12:35pm

No bologna: Oscar Mayer dies at 95
[Link: www.kansascity.com...]

Except for all of the bologna in the white house.

248

Pianobuff Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:12:37pm

Krauthammer, last night on the Michael Jackson coverage overshadowing the deaths of soliders:

Well, soldiers die dignified, sacrificial lives, and they are not celebrities. I think the pathology here is the celebrity culture, which is why you have the media coverage.

We haven't seen anything like this outpouring of sentiment since Princess Diana, and at the time of her death, you had to ask yourself, what did she accomplish? What exactly had she done?

Winston Churchill got a third of a million at his funeral; she got 10 times as much. He saved the Western civilization; she wore clothes nicely. And Jackson was sort of the apotheosis of that here in America...She was never accused, Princess Diana, of the monstrous deeds that Michael Jackson was, [nor] some of the less monstrous of which he admitted to. That was whitewashed away on account of his celebrity.

And I think that is the feeling of unease people have, the adulation and the worship a man who had a tragic and deeply flawed life.

249

Kosh's Shadow Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:12:43pm

re: #179 Creeping Eruption

I don't know why, but your poem just brought up memories of "A boy and his dog."

That is finally available on DVD, but it doesn't look like they remastered it or even cleaned it up, but it is watchable, unlike a VHS copy I bought years ago.

250

Mad Al-Jaffee Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:14:05pm

re: #248 Pianobuff

Krauthammer, last night on the Michael Jackson coverage overshadowing the deaths of soliders:

We haven't seen anything like this outpouring of sentiment since Princess Diana, and at the time of her death, you had to ask yourself, what did she accomplish?

"He fell down a well - and he can't get out!"

-Homer Simpsin

251

Pianobuff Wed, Jul 8, 2009 12:16:43pm

re: #246 3 wood