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so imagine the ball is the world, and the sticks are uh... religion, and the grains of sand, other worlds...and...uh nevermind... not drunk enough yet for this...
Well some of you may remember from last night how the folks at Budweiser were disappointed with the response from my drinking BudLight at the beer summit, and how they were thinking of making some less than flattering ads if I didn't generate more business for them.
Well this script for a new "Real Men Of Genius" ad was just sent to my BlackBerry -
Today we salute you, Mr. Post Racial President With a Chip On His Shoulder
(Mr. Post Racial President With a Chip On His Shoulder)
You don't do crude racial pandering like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton
No - You're about keeping it on the down-lo with hope and change.
(Keeping it on the down-lo)
So when an amped up Professor from your past abuses a white cop and his Latino backup,
You know what to do - call the cops stupid!
(Callin' the cops stupid!)
You told the world that it ain't about police work, but racial profiling.
Sure it pissed some white people off, but you used their beverage - beer - to make it all go away.
(You made it go awayyayyy!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, community organizer. 'Cause we all know - when the chips are down there's gotta be a stupid bigot somewhere that can be blamed.
(Mr. Post Racial President With a Chip On His Shoulder)
Visions from the Obama Carbon free world of approved users...
"I am sorry sir - this beach is for users of
carbon approved vehicles only - and those approved
by the Obama Carbon free Beaches Code 69403.I suggest
you move along.Also sir - is that an approved carbon
dioxide reducing rebreather unit you're wearing?
Sir - I need your number!"
Well some of you may remember from last night how the folks at Budweiser were disappointed with the response from my drinking BudLight at the beer summit, and how they were thinking of making some less than flattering ads if I didn't generate more business for them.
Well this script for a new "Real Men Of Genius" ad was just sent to my BlackBerry -
Today we salute you, Mr. Post Racial President With a Chip On His Shoulder
(Mr. Post Racial President With a Chip On His Shoulder)
You don't do crude racial pandering like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton
No - You're about keeping it on the down-lo with hope and change.
(Keeping it on the down-lo)
So when an amped up Professor from your past abuses a white cop and his Latino backup,
You know what to do - call the cops stupid!
(Callin' the cops stupid!)
You told the world that it ain't about police work, but racial profiling.
Sure it pissed some white people off, but you used their beverage - beer - to make it all go away.
(You made it go awayyayyy!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, community organizer. 'Cause we all know - when the chips are down there's gotta be a stupid bigot somewhere that can be blamed.
(Mr. Post Racial President With a Chip On His Shoulder)
So I am suddenly at a loss for words, other than:
What are we drinkin' tonight?
Diet Coke. My job situation would prevent me from drinking anything stronger. If I started, I couldn't stop.
I love the use of the Nikon. If I'm able to get a digital SLR, it'll be a Nikon. They take great pictures and they don't change the lens mount, so I'd be able to use my mother's old lenses.
For anyone interested, here is a handy link to a search at Daily Kos which will show you exactly how many posts that Kos himself has penned with the word "Afghanistan" in it in the last 6 months.
I am all for fighting the Taliban there and for providing more resources to do it. But Kos went a mission of moralizing around which he built a personality cult regarding the Iraq War.
He was always quick to point out when body counts went up, when civilian casualties increased and spoke ad nauseum about how important it is to not escalate a war but that it takes far more courage to walk away.
I love the use of the Nikon. If I'm able to get a digital SR, it'll be a Nikon. They take great pictures and they don't change the lens mount, so I'd be able to use my mother's old lenses.
Hey DF Canon make a great product. Look at them before you make your buy. The Rebel series is great value. Get a good body, but spend extra on the lens. The difference between 10.1 pix vs higher is minute. A good lens makes all the difference.
It's Friday night. Are you wearing your Mom jeans?
A local TV station where I grew up broadcast a PSA just before the 11PM news:
"Parents, it's eleven O'clock. Do you know where your children are?"
My date and I laughed, then went back to smooching on her parents' couch. Heh.
A local TV station where I grew up broadcast a PSA just before the 11PM news: "Parents, it's eleven O'clock. Do you know where your children are?"
My date and I laughed, then went back to smooching on her parents' couch. Heh.
We had that too, but it was usually my parents who were gone. (They played gigs, often together, sometimes not. Hey, where were your date's parents?)
My avatar is talking to me. Says I next must listen to Wish You Were Here. And he adds that I do have a good cigar to go with it ...
/How does it know?!
Hey DF Canon make a great product. Look at them before you make your buy. The Rebel series is great value. Get a good body, but spend extra on the lens. The difference between 10.1 pix vs higher is minute. A good lens makes all the difference.
The thing leading me towards Nikon is that my mother has a good many older Nikon lens that will still work. Buying a Canon would require new lens, thus greatly increasing the acquisition costs.
I love the use of the Nikon. If I'm able to get a digital SLR, it'll be a Nikon. They take great pictures and they don't change the lens mount, so I'd be able to use my mother's old lenses.
The thing leading me towards Nikon is that my mother has a good many older Nikon lens that will still work. Buying a Canon would require new lens, thus greatly increasing the acquisition costs.
Here I sit with my Bacardi Black and ginger. Alone but not alone. Listening to my eclectic taste of music and relaxing at the thought of a weekend. What will tomorrow hold? Who knows. It's not that important now. Just time to chill.
Here I sit with my Bacardi Black and ginger. Alone but not alone. Listening to my eclectic taste of music and relaxing at the thought of a weekend. What will tomorrow hold? Who knows. It's not that important now. Just time to chill.
I thought I would never say this but I am looking forward to the chaos that my girls are going to bring on Sunday. :)))
Here I sit with my Bacardi Black and ginger. Alone but not alone. Listening to my eclectic taste of music and relaxing at the thought of a weekend. What will tomorrow hold? Who knows. It's not that important now. Just time to chill.
Kapitians Radio Report Log 51264.
" I have sent Security Officier Grunbol outside
the protection of our ship. I can see him now
as he advances slowly outside.There has been no sign
of life on this desolate planet since the first
unfortunate incident.The inhabitants of this acursed world seem to
be large furry quadrapeds that attacked the first away team with their
fangs and carried them off..."
Hey I am having a ball writing this...I'm on a roll...woohoo!
It reminds me of one of those things that used to come in a tube like glue, with a short straw, that you'd blow up like a balloon. The stuff had to be so toxic it's probably still in our veins.
re: #116 Cathypop
We keep getting t-storms but no rain! Just dry lightning! Over 100 fires going now in 3 counties, however the biggest is 50 acres. So unless the wind kicks up the forest service, dnr and blm should be able to keep a handle on them...We hope.
The other day, I'm sitting on main street when three ambulances go screaming past, all headed the same direction, within a 10 minute span. A block away from where I was sitting was an intersection with lights.
The first ambulance got to the intersection in question and a car in front of him sat there, not moving- ambulance is completely stuck behind this car. When if finally did move, it moved slowly. Finally pulled out of the way for the ambulance after about a minute plus. Couldn't believe it.
The second ambulance was a few minutes later. It too got stuck in traffic at the same intersection as no cars seems to know what to do with an ambulance on their bumper. That ambulance lost about 45 seconds at the lights.
The third ambulance came a few minutes after that, and I thought, "perhaps the third time is the charm?" It was.
Still amazing to see such idiots are allowed to operate heavy machinery.
Check out this compare/contrast. Granted, you could probably find examples to support any conclusion you wanted people to draw, but this one is interesting nonetheless:
since we're talking weather...this has been the best Michigan Summer ever.
Highs 78 to 80 almost every day for the last 2 months ( except for a week or so where we had highs in the low to mid 60's ) and I think less than 5 days in the upper 80's
I hate the heat but something tells me it's going to be a cold winter!
Sorry to hear that. I've been with the wife for 31 years and am in the same boat!!
Doctor: "Ma'am, your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following he will surely die. Each morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal. No chores. No nagging. Oh yes, make love several times a week. Do this for the next year and he'll regain his health completely."
I heard my wife crying in the bathroom. ‘Honey? What’s wrong’ I asked.
‘Oh, George! Just look at me: I’m getting so old! I have more gray in my hair than blonde, I have varicose veins on both of my legs, and I’m just fat and wrinkled all over! I really need someone to say something positive about me right now!’
I looked deeply into her eyes and said softly: ‘Your vision’s real good, honey. That’s something, isn’t it?’
I heard my wife crying in the bathroom. ‘Honey? What’s wrong’ I asked.
‘Oh, George! Just look at me: I’m getting so old! I have more gray in my hair than blonde, I have varicose veins on both of my legs, and I’m just fat and wrinkled all over! I really need someone to say something positive about me right now!’
I looked deeply into her eyes and said softly: ‘Your vision’s real good, honey. That’s something, isn’t it?’
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She was my senior year girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife. ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
Here in the rain forest of Southeast Alaska the last several days have had record high temperatures. in the high 70s and low 80s. Do not laugh about the heat here. With the humidity over 70% and not being used to those conditions it is uncomfortable. Even the wild animals are somewhere in the shade or perhaps going up to higher elevations though most of the snow has melted to above 3000 feet elevation .
Melanie Phillips really dropped the ball again in her column about climate change -- quoting a shill for James Inhofe (one of the most dishonest of the skeptics, with Dominionist religious motivations), and promoting a group of scientists that are climate change "skeptics" ...
A group of scientists that includes several notorious creationists, and apparently no one with actual expertise in a field related to climate science.
Phillips seems to be getting her propaganda directly from the extreme theocratic wing of the GOP.
on a six lane boulevard, just across the Rio Grande, main artery, 8:30am, streets are filled, bumper to bumper...behind me comes two ambulances, sirens roaring...every one starts to move to the right, trucks, cars, bikes went up on the sidewalks...4WD and SUVs pull onto the median or off the street onto the bike path...cars slowly maneuver behind each other and pile up all askew, squeeking in behind one another...big trucks just stopped dead and put their flashers on...a clear and distinct path was formed and the ambulances flew threw this mess, no problem...after the fact cars realigned, filled in the gaps, got down off the bike paths and continued on...no muss, no fuss, no honking or impatience, just folks getting it done...I love ABQ
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
Aw crap it stopped raining. At least I don't have to water the plants tomorrow.
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight got started...
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the old biker.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"
The old biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs, "Why yes, yes, I sure am."
The old' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger."
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
Here in the rain forest of Southeast Alaska the last several days have had record high temperatures. in the high 70s and low 80s. Do not laugh about the heat here. (Are you kidding?) With the humidity over 70% and not being used to those conditions it is uncomfortable.
I just got home from a business trip to NYC. It's been raining heavily up there, and everyone was complaining about how hot and muggy it was. For my Houston contingent it felt like a day in late October.
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify
my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she
processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too’
And then the fight started …
LOL! I have Epilepsy and recently received a "fully favorable" decision in my case. Today, I received a letter with the amount of back pay I'll be getting since my first turn down. It's been almost 7 years since I was first turned down. I'll be getting a nice lump sum here in a few weeks.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
LOL! I have Epilepsy and recently received a "fully favorable" decision in my case. Today, I received a letter with the amount of back pay I'll be getting since my first turn down. It's been almost 7 years since I was first turned down. I'll be getting a nice lump sum here in a few weeks.
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
re: #231 Racer X
A couple goes to Paris for a long vacation. After a few days, the wife says to the husband at breakfast, "We've been here a week and I still haven't gone to the Louvre."
"Don't worry, honey, it's probably something in the water."
A rancher gets a surprise visit from an auditor with the state employment office.
"We think you aren't paying your employees enough. I want to know who your employees are and what you pay them right now." Said the auditor.
"Well my ranch hand gets $200 a week and free room and board." Explained the rancher. "The Cook gets $150 a week and free room and board."
"Any others?" the auditor asked.
"Well, there's the half-wit. He gets about $10 a week and pays for his own room and board. He also works about 18 hours a day and does 90% of the work around here. But he does get some perks - every weekend he gets a bottle of Bourbon to himself, and every once in a while he gets to sleep with my wife."
"The half-wit. I want to talk to the half-wit right now!" demands the auditor.
A couple goes to Paris for a long vacation. After a few days, the wife says to the husband at breakfast, "We've been here a week and I still haven't gone to the Louvre."
"Don't worry, honey, it's probably something in the water."
I wanted to let you know I had missed your July 5th comment on the tea parties, and wanted to thank you for posting what you did. It was very honorable of you.
"BOSTON – Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. has sent flowers and a note to the woman who unwittingly sparked a national debate on race by calling police to report what she thought might be a break-in at Gates' home."
The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.
It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.
The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.
I just got home from a business trip to NYC. It's been raining heavily up there, and everyone was complaining about how hot and muggy it was. For my Houston contingent it felt like a day in late October.
We're in NYC, and it is hot and muggy.
I'd need a spacesuit with an air conditioner to survive Houston in the summer.
(75 is about my limit of comfort.)
"BOSTON – Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. has sent flowers and a note to the woman who unwittingly sparked a national debate on race by calling police to report what she thought might be a break-in at Gates' home."
"BOSTON – Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. has sent flowers and a note to the woman who unwittingly sparked a national debate on race by calling police to report what she thought might be a break-in at Gates' home."
see, he spent 1 hour with that cop and he's a better person for it
"BOSTON – Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. has sent flowers and a note to the woman who unwittingly sparked a national debate on race by calling police to report what she thought might be a break-in at Gates' home."
The other day, I'm sitting on main street when three ambulances go screaming past, all headed the same direction, within a 10 minute span. A block away from where I was sitting was an intersection with lights.
The first ambulance got to the intersection in question and a car in front of him sat there, not moving- ambulance is completely stuck behind this car. When if finally did move, it moved slowly. Finally pulled out of the way for the ambulance after about a minute plus. Couldn't believe it.
The second ambulance was a few minutes later. It too got stuck in traffic at the same intersection as no cars seems to know what to do with an ambulance on their bumper. That ambulance lost about 45 seconds at the lights.
The third ambulance came a few minutes after that, and I thought, "perhaps the third time is the charm?" It was.
Still amazing to see such idiots are allowed to operate heavy machinery.
"Spacesuit with an air conditioner" is a good description of my living spaces.
You just have to know you'll be outside and soaked in sweat so you know how to dress.
"BOSTON – Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. has sent flowers and a note to the woman who unwittingly sparked a national debate on race by calling police to report what she thought might be a break-in at Gates' home."
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat!"
"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another.
Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back:
Sounds like Atlanta all right. And that's just the men.
In Memphis, where he was totally channelling Elvis, he signed three guys chests. So cute.
In one of the Florida venues a couple days ago, he got a red leather whip - actually cat o nine tails - and some cuffs. Used the whip, left it on the stage to startle Kris Allen - heh. Threw the cuffs to the audience, hit someone - oops - threw a kiss to make it better. And we are all over this stuff, because we are obsessed.
Various sources within the Buzz are reporting that Michelle Obama's "organic" garden has been besieged by icky goo in the ground. As a result, the veggies aren't quite what the first lady had in mind. According to Daily Finance, the National Park Service tested the soil in the vegetable patch and found "highly elevated levels of lead" due to sewage used as fertilizer.
wow...so that's how that works, I didn't know that...so you can determine who your enemies are, and who your friends are?...whoa...I don't ding but that's interesting...helps explain a lot...thanks
An astonished bartender says "No" and the duck waddles away.
A week later the duck returns.
"Got any crackers?"
The bartender - less shocked - says "No" and the duck waddles away.
A week later, and a week after that, and a week after that the scene repeates itself, until one day the bartender yells "Look! We have no fucking crackers, and if you come in here again asking for crackers I am going to nail you bill to the bar!" So the duck waddles away.
A week later the duck returns and sees a livid bartender and asks "Do you have any nails?" The bartender, astonished once again replies "No."
I always thought it was an assumption of a persons I.Q.?
It means a lot of things. All depending upon circumstance, it could mean "Please drive at least the speed limit, sir." or even "Excuse me, but there was someone already here. Please watch more carefully next time, so you do not hit me." or even, "Pardon the interuption, but I respectfully request that you hang up the cell phone and focus on your driving. Safety first, I always say" or even "You may have heard my honk my horn to notify you that the light has indeed turned green. This is just a reminder for next time."
Various sources within the Buzz are reporting that Michelle Obama's "organic" garden has been besieged by icky goo in the ground. As a result, the veggies aren't quite what the first lady had in mind. According to Daily Finance, the National Park Service tested the soil in the vegetable patch and found "highly elevated levels of lead" due to sewage used as fertilizer.
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a blonde who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect blonde? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect blonde. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Had to read down to the Mother Jones link to get this info:
Sludge can legally contain up to 300 parts per million of lead, which is well above the 93 parts per million found in the White House garden. The EPA says that soil with more than 56 parts per million of lead might not provide "adequate protection of terrestrial ecosystems," but doesn't suggest worrying about anything below 400 parts per million as a threat to human health. However, some soil scientists advise against feeding children produce grown on soil with more than 100 ppm of lead.
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a blonde who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect blonde? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect blonde. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
If I waited until I found someone my parents approved of, I'd be single, too, instead of married for over 30 years.
(Almost had a typo that said 330 years, which would have led to some great jokes)
I know I am very late to the game on this, even though it is hard to see in this picture, Biden had a fork with a cork on the end and was overheard to say 'not mother?'. I guess the eyepatch was optional.
I take it there is a website that follows the Idol tour?
I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.
Are you kidding? Dozens. I'm on ONTD_AI on Live Journal and Twitter (a lot of ONTD_AI people are also on Twitter). All the idols are loved, but the particular issue is the Kris / Adam bromance. They are really close friends, but the thing is that they keep TEASING US. They keep doing things like fixing each other's hair in the lift on the way up to the stage for the closing songs and making little kissy faces and doing this kneeling to each other thing during DSB at the close - driving us nuts. Keep in mind that Kris is straight and married, but he's so fearless, and his family and friends from Arkansas are just as great - and hilarious.
Then there's the MotherfuckingBand (the backup band - sorry, but we named 'em, and they liked it) live feed when they get a good signal, and Rickey's cell casts. Etc.
Are you kidding? Dozens. I'm on ONTD_AI on Live Journal and Twitter (a lot of ONTD_AI people are also on Twitter). All the idols are loved, but the particular issue is the Kris / Adam bromance. They are really close friends, but the thing is that they keep TEASING US. They keep doing things like fixing each other's hair in the lift on the way up to the stage for the closing songs and making little kissy faces and doing this kneeling to each other thing during DSB at the close - driving us nuts. Keep in mind that Kris is straight and married, but he's so fearless, and his family and friends from Arkansas are just as great - and hilarious.
Then there's the MotherfuckingBand (the backup band - sorry, but we named 'em, and they liked it) live feed when they get a good signal, and Rickey's cell casts. Etc.
I cannot understand what the hell you are saying...what is ONDT-AI?
If I waited until I found someone my parents approved of, I'd be single, too, instead of married for over 30 years.
(Almost had a typo that said 330 years, which would have led to some great jokes)
Can you imagine the hell a Muslim woman must endure at the hands of her in-laws?
A somewhat confused woman is searching the produce section of her local market for strawberries. Unable to find any she finds the produce manager and asks where the strawberries are located.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we're temporarily out."
The woman continues looking and again approaches the manager, who, a bit taken aback, but still polite, says "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I believe I already told you we are out of strawberries."
After futilely searching for strawberries, she again asks the manager where the strawberries are.
"Ma'am," he says "how do you spell the 'black' in blackberries?"
"Uh, b-l-a-c-k."
"Correct," says the manager. "How do you spell the 'blue' in blueberries?"
"B-l-u-e."
"Yes, yes. Now, how do you spell the 'fuck' in strawberries?"
Replies the woman "But there ain't no 'fuck' in strawberries."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you, Ma'am."
Do share. The worst thing you could say about my mother-in-law was that she was an epic slob and neglectful mother. Oh, I guess that's pretty bad.
I've read of mil's who go into their married sons' houses and redecorate or toss out all the food and restock the pantry or come for a visit and bring incontinent dogs and never clean up after them.
I've read of mil's who go into their married sons' houses and redecorate or toss out all the food and restock the pantry or come for a visit and bring incontinent dogs and never clean up after them.
Wow. I cannot imagine what would motivate such behavior.
Check for the letters FSC near the UPC code. Being implemented incrementally in all states. We're already there. I stay pissed. (Just ask Reine.)
Mandatory in all states by Dec 31.
They suck ass. Seriously. You're standing there with your smoke lit, lookin' all hot, good looking, cool and suave and sophisticated, yet a bit counter-culture - well ok, maybe that's just me, but I digress... and you're talking to someone, maybe you don't take a drag for a minute... so you go to take one, and it's FUCKING OUT.
Argh. But hey, I still look all hot, good looking, cool and suave and sophisticated, yet a bit counter-culture, so... *shrugs shoulders*
Following a link from yours, it says
"UPDATE: The blog Obama Foodorama interviewed lead experts who pointed out that 93 ppm is not an unusual level of lead in urban soils. " It also says it's likely the level is the result of old gasoline lead and maybe the sludge.
"Of course, it won't be possible to know the background lead level on the South Lawn unless someone sampled it before sludge was applied (a White House spokesman did not return a phone call). Given that lead levels in sludge can legally be way higher than what was found on the Obama garden, I still believe sludge could be a factor in the 93 ppm, but how much of a factor will be hard to say."
The Clinton poo headline is much more interesting that the real facts though. The basic fact that comes out is nothing in the garden is unsafe to eat because of using the common fertilizer and the lead levels are typical.
I've read of mil's who go into their married sons' houses and redecorate or toss out all the food and restock the pantry or come for a visit and bring incontinent dogs and never clean up after them.
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.
Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.
"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.
The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.
Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.
Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"
The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.
He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that fucking fence wasn't electrified."
A somewhat confused woman is searching the produce section of her local market for strawberries. Unable to find any she finds the produce manager and asks where the strawberries are located.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we're temporarily out."
The woman continues looking and again approaches the manager, who, a bit taken aback, but still polite, says "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I believe I already told you we are out of strawberries."
After futilely searching for strawberries, she again asks the manager where the strawberries are.
"Ma'am," he says "how do you spell the 'black' in blackberries?"
"Uh, b-l-a-c-k."
"Correct," says the manager. "How do you spell the 'blue' in blueberries?"
"B-l-u-e."
"Yes, yes. Now, how do you spell the 'fuck' in strawberries?"
Replies the woman "But there ain't no 'fuck' in strawberries."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you, Ma'am."
Working in abok store in California. Women comes in asking for a book that is on a New York Times list. The cover is green. ??? She was serious!
I have a carnival midway in my back yard, a constant parade of teenagers streaming through my house, and several strangers parked in my front yard (for a 10.00 fee of course).
Don't know if there are any gardening lizards, but my night-blooming cereus is blooming tonight. Blogs, blooms and beer!! Great reason to stay up late.
You're a smoker? I'm heartbroken! I quit years ago; my husband quit about a year and a half ago. You can do it - good luck!
I quit once for a few months. I couldn't believe how strong the smell of smoke was a few months after I quit - I could smell it even when a smoker opened his car door! It was weird. And then I stupidly started again. Now I'm going with the electronic one.
If she'd come into Doubleday in Dallas when I worked there, we'd have located it for her. We actually waited on people, which sometimes scared unsuspecting tourists.
Yes, I'm going to have to quit.
I got one of those electronic cigarettes. It's weird.
I'm hoping I can get used to it enough to give up the real ones.
I tried one of those. Had the weirdest and most disturbing dreams I've ever had. Decided against getting them. Then I read the other day that in addition to the nicotine, you also get some chemicals found in anti-freeze, and the FDA is going after them... Yikes!
Don't know if there are any gardening lizards, but my night-blooming cereus is blooming tonight. Blogs, blooms and beer!! Great reason to stay up late.
I tried one of those. Had the weirdest and most disturbing dreams I've ever had. Decided against getting them. Then I read the other day that in addition to the nicotine, you also get some chemicals found in anti-freeze, and the FDA is going after them... Yikes!
Yikes. I went cold turkey; hubby used the gum, the patch, and Zyban. He said his dreams on the patch were disturbingly vivid.
Don't know if there are any gardening lizards, but my night-blooming cereus is blooming tonight. Blogs, blooms and beer!! Great reason to stay up late.
Pictures?
I have some new and unusual violets blooming now and was just snapping pics this evening.
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.
Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.
"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.
The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.
Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.
Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"
The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.
He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that fucking fence wasn't electrified."
Damn, it's getting late. When I first read this, I read "two old prisoners..."
Yikes. I went cold turkey; hubby used the gum, the patch, and Zyban. He said his dreams on the patch were disturbingly vivid.
I had the same experience on the patch. Ugh. Then my now ex-wife dragged us to a hypnotist to try and quit. The guy did some weird crap about how I'm supposed to think of my children dying of lung cancer when I smoke...
It kinda worked at first, but now I light up a smoke and it's like "Oh, dying children. Huh." *FLICK*
Did someone say boobies?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! OMG! BOOBIES! YAY!!!
Oh. Damn. I was trickseded.
I don't know if they've been recalled. I DO know the FDA is intercepting shipments of E-Cigarettes as they come into the country...
Are they really?
that seems like a strange piece of information to know.
Not that I don't believe you.
Well . . .I'm screwed, then.
I'm allergic to the patches and the gum - zyban makes my heart race and thump -
Don't know if there are any gardening lizards, but my night-blooming cereus is blooming tonight. Blogs, blooms and beer!! Great reason to stay up late.
Are they really?
that seems like a strange piece of information to know.
Not that I don't believe you.
Well . . .I'm screwed, then.
I'm allergic to the patches and the gum - zyban makes my heart race and thump -
I know lots of strange information. Plus, I'm an injun, so I know all about cigarettes, fireworks, and hard liquor. ;)
Fresh air contains less than 0.04% carbon dioxide. A human’s breath contains almost 5% carbon dioxide. Therefore, we are contributing to the problem with each breath we take. Every person’s output varies according to the amount of exercise taken, the food consumed, etc., but for the purpose at hand a reasonable figure is that each person exhales 445 liters of carbon dioxide per day (the average of 1000 samples measured by the USDA). In the course of a year this production by one average person represents 704 pounds of carbon dioxide.
That equals 0.352 tons.
Now, the average car in the US supposedly puts out ~5 tons/year. According to another source,
"Citing Ward's Motor Vehicle Facts & Figures, 1999, this almanac reports that, in 1996, the most recent date covered, there were 485,954,000 cars registered worldwide, and 185,404,000 trucks and buses, for a total, worldwide, of 671,358,000 motor vehicles."
For the simplicity's sake, lets say that all of those vehicles put out an average of 6 tons/year of CO2.
671 million x = 4.026 billion tons per year.
There are 6,930,653,611 people in the world right now according to this applet.
6.93 billion x 0.352 = 2.55 billion tons of human-breathed CO2 per annum. Total human + vehicle output is 6.676 tons/annum.
It is clearly hard to get people to give up their cars. Impossible, you might say.
But if you retire someone from breathing, he or she can no longer drive a car, and the insidious expulsion of breath-borne CO2 also ceases immediately.
Rather than try to get living people to stop driving, therefore, I submit that we should randomly eliminate half the vehicle drivers on the planet.
That simple step would immediately cut the vehicle-based CO2 output to a mere 2.013 billion t/a. In addition, there would be 335.5 million fewer selfish vehicle-driving humans, a net reduction in breath-borne CO2 of 118.1 million tons, for a net reduction to 1.895 billion t/a.
In contrast, reducing our current vehicle-based CO2 output by ten percent, a goal everyone agrees is nearly impossible under present economic growth forecasts, would only reduce emissions by a paltry 402 million tons, for a total vehicle + respiration figure of 6.274 billion t/a.
Clearly, that meager reduction is not enough.
We should, therefore, immediately embark on the plan outlined above.
Of course certain problems remain to be worked out in detail. The cars and other vehicles of the scrapped drivers would have to be dismantled and recycled to make sure relatives and neighbors do not simply start driving them instead.
And the physical remains of the redundant humans would have to be sequestered to prevent the escape of their carbon content into the atmosphere.
But with a little ingenuity and a go-to attitude, we can do it!
I now open the session to comments and questions from the floor.
Are they really?
that seems like a strange piece of information to know.
Not that I don't believe you.
Well . . .I'm screwed, then.
I'm allergic to the patches and the gum - zyban makes my heart race and thump -
Have you tried the Chantix? I loved the stuff. Zyban gave me weird dreams that were just too intense. Chantix gives you weird dreams but they're really great! It also really helps with the smoking.
What happens when a country's anti-abortion movement gets all it wants, and then some? Apparently Nicaragua is a test case right now...
AMNESTY DECRIES NICARAGUA'S "SHOCKING" TOTAL ABORTION BAN - Nicaragua's new total abortion ban is killing women, according to a new report by Amnesty International. Nicaragua forbids abortions even to save the life of the mother. In fact, the law makes it a crime to save the life of the mother using treatments that are contraindicated during pregnancy (like chemotherapy or anti-malarial drugs). Miscarriage is illegal, even if it happens naturally. Over 30 pregnant women have died this year, up from 20 during the same period last year. This is the first time Amnesty has written a report on the human rights implications of abortion regulations.
I quit smoking over 10 years ago. I can't even remember how I did it.
I joined a gym and found that it was much easier to exercise when I wasn't gasping for air.
I honestly don't know how I ever smoked, and I loved it when I was doing it. It was awesome, but now that I am far away from the actual act, I can't ever believe I felt so shitty all the time doing something I supposedly loved so much. It just sneaks up on you.
Have you tried the Chantix? I loved the stuff. Zyban gave me weird dreams that were just too intense. Chantix gives you weird dreams but they're really great! It also really helps with the smoking.
Can you take it even if you aren't trying to quit smoking?
Had an incident on the flight back from NYC today that was a nice change from some of the grim stories playing on the seatback television news.
3 hours into the flight a grandmotherly lady (people later said she was 80) began to have trouble which may have been a mild stroke or heart attack. The flight diverted to Baton Rouge and paramedics came aboard to take her off to the hospital, escorted by her husband, 90, and son. The nice thing was this: there wasn't a peep of complaint, even from the children. Everyone was concerned to help out, to stay out of the way of the nurse that rendered aid, and to wish her family members well.
A small thing, but good to see.
Oh. Sorry. I was holding a lighter up to your butt.
LOL! I was just getting worried about some of the ladies here. How do you manage to give the impression of extreme studliness with no evidence whatsoever?
Had an incident on the flight back from NYC today that was a nice change from some of the grim stories playing on the seatback television news.
3 hours into the flight a grandmotherly lady (people later said she was 80) began to have trouble which may have been a mild stroke or heart attack. The flight diverted to Baton Rouge and paramedics came aboard to take her off to the hospital, escorted by her husband, 90, and son. The nice thing was this: there wasn't a peep of complaint, even from the children. Everyone was concerned to help out, to stay out of the way of the nurse that rendered aid, and to wish her family members well.
A small thing, but good to see.
LOL! I was just getting worried about some of the ladies here. How do you manage to give the impression of extreme studliness with no evidence whatsoever?
Now that's an interesting question. (You're not the only one, DG)
Today is a big day for me. I've been a registered Republican for 25 years and today, I finally made the decision to switch parties. I can't stomach the pandering to the extreme right even one day longer.
Not sure where I'm going to go yet... suggestions?
For the simplicity's sake, lets say that all of those vehicles put out an average of 6 tons/year of CO2.
671 million x = 4.026 billion tons per year.
There are 6,930,653,611 people in the world right now according to this applet.
6.93 billion x 0.352 = 2.55 billion tons of human-breathed CO2 per annum. Total human + vehicle output is 6.676 tons/annum.
It is clearly hard to get people to give up their cars. Impossible, you might say.
But if you retire someone from breathing, he or she can no longer drive a car, and the insidious expulsion of breath-borne CO2 also ceases immediately.
Rather than try to get living people to stop driving, therefore, I submit that we should randomly eliminate half the vehicle drivers on the planet.
That simple step would immediately cut the vehicle-based CO2 output to a mere 2.013 billion t/a. In addition, there would be 335.5 million fewer selfish vehicle-driving humans, a net reduction in breath-borne CO2 of 118.1 million tons, for a net reduction to 1.895 billion t/a.
In contrast, reducing our current vehicle-based CO2 output by ten percent, a goal everyone agrees is nearly impossible under present economic growth forecasts, would only reduce emissions by a paltry 402 million tons, for a total vehicle + respiration figure of 6.274 billion t/a.
Clearly, that meager reduction is not enough.
We should, therefore, immediately embark on the plan outlined above.
Of course certain problems remain to be worked out in detail. The cars and other vehicles of the scrapped drivers would have to be dismantled and recycled to make sure relatives and neighbors do not simply start driving them instead.
And the physical remains of the redundant humans would have to be sequestered to prevent the escape of their carbon content into the atmosphere.
But with a little ingenuity and a go-to attitude, we can do it!
I now open the session to comments and questions from the floor.
LOL! I was just getting worried about some of the ladies here. How do you manage to give the impression of extreme studliness with no evidence whatsoever?
Today is a big day for me. I've been a registered Republican for 25 years and today, I finally made the decision to switch parties. I can't stomach the pandering to the extreme right even one day longer.
Not sure where I'm going to go yet... suggestions?
Today is a big day for me. I've been a registered Republican for 25 years and today, I finally made the decision to switch parties. I can't stomach the pandering to the extreme right even one day longer.
Not sure where I'm going to go yet... suggestions?
Independent.
Keep 'em guessing. Nobody can count on my vote. They have to earn it.
It even goes as far as punishing girls and women who have suffered a miscarriage, as in many cases it is impossible to distinguish spontaneous from induced abortions.
Today is a big day for me. I've been a registered Republican for 25 years and today, I finally made the decision to switch parties. I can't stomach the pandering to the extreme right even one day longer.
Not sure where I'm going to go yet... suggestions?
No way. She said it had a green cover and might be on the best seller list. Total whackout;.
Way. Trust me when I say there are many pampered, wealthy people in Highland Park/University Park, and they all shopped at Northpark Center when they didn't feel like going to the Galleria. Dallas is a whole 'nother country.
They think it makes them more attractive to the women? It's all bullshit about the french being the best lovers, anyway.
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual myths. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual Myths. It identifies that American Indians have the biggest penis and Polish men are the greatest lovers. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you."
Blue, I have been too busy to stay in trouble. Glad to be alive, my friend's son drowned yesterday. He was only 16. So young and here I am regretting turning 40, but what is the alternative?
1. Total human + vehicle output is 6.676 billion tons/annum.
2. [...] for a nettotal reduction to 1.895 billion t/a.
Otherwise, I think it's solid, though we could use more up-to-date figures on total global vehicle numbers.
I intend to publish this as a petition on Facebook and see what happens. It would surely be more cost-effective to accomplish our climate-rescue goals than to try and force people to drive less, especially since even with increased gas mileage thanks to the "cash for clunkers" program, the growing number of vehicles worldwide will essentially eliminate any savings from better mpg numbers and decreased travel.
Perhaps I should consult some old German colleagues who have more experience with this kind of thinking.
LOL! But ...I was talking about men liking women who spoke French. A turn on for you?
/Reine ...you watching?
No way. For me - well, you know that old farmer cajun dude in The Waterboy? I like it when a woman gets close to my ear, so I feel her warm sweet breath on my neck and then she's all "SALEAU DA NOTAFRANOJFSLKDKJFLJ!!! SALEAU DA NOTAFRANOJFSLKDKJFLJ!!! "
Blue, I have been too busy to stay in trouble. Glad to be alive, my friend's son drowned yesterday. He was only 16. So young and here I am regretting turning 40, but what is the alternative?
Thanks Pink and Avanti. The Big Four-OH. Afrocity Car
Avanti, I put some picks of my Desoto up at my blog today.
Odd that. I've bought and sold several 100 collector card over the years, but have not owned one Desoto. I did sell one for a client on ebay though. It was a 56 Fireflight that he'd spent 75K restoring, but we only got a third of that back.
A Chevy Cobalt? I am pissed because I read this week that Chevy is not going to build the Z28. They are going to make a de-tuned engine to use in the Cadillac instead. So it is now bad to have a hot rod Z, so at least she bought a Chevy. But the new VW Bug (beetle) is sooo popular as it used to be.
It was about 3-4 years ago. The guy did a cost is no object restoration, right down to the correct trunk mat.I had a friend that owned a Adventurer when I was a teenager, that one screamed the 50's.
They're slugging it out with the Cards. They may drop back half-a-game if the Cards win tonight, but the fight between the two teams will be a battle to the finish. The last three games the two teams play against each other in September should be epic. Go Cubs!
A Chevy Cobalt? I am pissed because I read this week that Chevy is not going to build the Z28. They are going to make a de-tuned engine to use in the Cadillac instead. So it is now bad to have a hot rod Z, so at least she bought a Chevy. But the new VW Bug (beetle) is sooo popular as it used to be.
Number 1 with hippies and serial killers!!!
I only rode in the Cobalt for a few miles, but it seemed a nice ride for the money and should get 30 MPG. The special higher fuel economy models sold out before she could do her deal.
Sounds like a strong "law and order" effort. I guess they figure it's better to imprison a few innocent women who miscarry than to let an occasional "guilty" one go free.
Sounds like a strong "law and order" effort. I guess they figure it's better to imprison a few innocent women who miscarry than to let an occasional "guilty" one go free.
Absolutely insane. I can't imagine living there.
Wait, I thought Nica = commie and commies = abortion lovers. What the hell?
when you call yourself injun that knows all about liquor that's degrading...my mistake, you certainly do not speak for others...have at it
I'm also a recovered alcoholic, Steve. It's an honest-to-god real problem. My step-father was one (died all orange and jaundiced from liver failure), my grandfather was one (and he fell off a bridge into a gorge and died because of it) etc... etc... which doesn't even begin to get into the relatives of mine who aquired diabetes, and had limbs removed because of it - so, do me a favor, get off your high horse, and just move on mmmkay? Thanks.
LOL! I spray the backyard with weed killer every March. It's nice & dead too!
I have a little patch of grass in the back that I try to keep green...but it does not belong here...most of my front and back are done in "desert". Cacti, native plants, desert roses...not much water and it looks nice.
I'm also a recovered alcoholic, Steve. It's an honest-to-god real problem. My step-father was one (died all orange and jaundiced from liver failure), my grandfather was one (and he fell off a bridge into a gorge and died because of it) etc... etc... which doesn't even begin to get into the relatives of mine who aquired diabetes, and had limbs removed because of it - so, do me a favor, get off your high horse, and just move on mmmkay? Thanks.
no...don't degrade you heritage...rise above it and be proud...it's not something to joke about
Good idea. Chiros often make enough to have multiple cars, thus compounding the benefits.
First they came for chiro's but my back was aligned, so I said nothing.
Then they came for Hubbardites, but I was "clear" and my needle floated.
Then they came for the Atheists, but I figured they had no holidays anyway.
I just saw a video with a "seizure" liquid used to replace the oil in a "clunker"; a government requirement. Is this the same stuff that will be use on me when I'm a 65 year old clunker under the Democrats "Health" plan?
I have a little patch of grass in the back that I try to keep green...but it does not belong here...most of my front and back are done in "desert". Cacti, native plants, desert roses...not much water and it looks nice.
I was in Tucson a couple of months ago and just loved the cacti. Since then I have collected a window sill full of succulents. I am trying to avoid over-watering them. I am used to tropicals which like wet feet.
no...don't degrade you heritage...rise above it and be proud...it's not something to joke about
What's it to you? Seriously? Do you know ANYTHING about indians? At all? Ever hung around with any when there's no white people around? If what I said above bothered you, you'd shit a solid gold brick then keel over dead from shock if you heard half of it. My own family was BRUTAL, as were most others I know.
I've been sober for 20 years - in part BECAUSE of making jokes about it. I don't want to look like a friggin creamsicle when I die like my step-father did.
The bottom line is simple: Being an indian ain't easy, hasn't been easy, and we've had so much stolen from us. At least let us have our god-damned fucking sense of humor. Or you want to steal that too?
I was in Tucson a couple of months ago and just loved the cacti. Since then I have collected a window sill full of succulents. I am trying to avoid over-watering them. I am used to tropicals which like wet feet.
I just saw a video with a "seizure" liquid used to replace the oil in a "clunker"; a government requirement. Is this the same stuff that will be use on me when I'm a 65 year old clunker under the Democrats "Health" plan?
Anyone tries that seizure liquid on me will have to go through Haku the Service Dog first.
But if you think 65 makes someone a clunker, you're too young to have an opinion anyways, sonny. ;^)
you are one funny mo fo. that's all I have to say. On a forum with some funny characters, you make me laugh more than just about anybody. I get your sense of humor.
Don't change dude
What's it to you? Seriously? Do you know ANYTHING about indians? At all? Ever hung around with any when there's no white people around? If what I said above bothered you, you'd shit a solid gold brick then keel over dead from shock if you heard half of it. My own family was BRUTAL, as were most others I know.
I've been sober for 20 years - in part BECAUSE of making jokes about it. I don't want to look like a friggin creamsicle when I die like my step-father did.
The bottom line is simple: Being an indian ain't easy, hasn't been easy, and we've had so much stolen from us. At least let us have our god-damned fucking sense of humor. Or you want to steal that too?
Fuck.
you certainly don't make it any easier for yourself...inducing jokes and stereoypes...I probably know more Native Americans than you do...most, not all but most would be appalled with you halfhearted banter
I was in Tucson a couple of months ago and just loved the cacti. Since then I have collected a window sill full of succulents. I am trying to avoid over-watering them. I am used to tropicals which like wet feet.
Tucson has the nice Saguaro Monument's on either side of town...very nice. That type of desert is quickly becoming a memory. Phoenix barely has any of the nature stuff left...it's all been turned into strip malls and cookie cutter houses.
I've got a very large cholla cactus in my front yard...it's getting a little too shaggy for me. I will have to get on my suit of armor to trim it up...nasty plants, those cholla.
you are one funny mo fo. that's all I have to say. On a forum with some funny characters, you make me laugh more than just about anybody. I get your sense of humor.
Don't change dude
you certainly don't make it any easier for yourself...inducing jokes and stereoypes...I probably know more Native Americans than you do...most, not all but most would be appalled with you halfhearted banter
You're the only one objecting, Steve. At least the only one that is bothering to ride his ass about it.
Can we just have a good time tonight? Do we really have to have a pissing match?
you are one funny mo fo. that's all I have to say. On a forum with some funny characters, you make me laugh more than just about anybody. I get your sense of humor.
Don't change dude
Thanks man. (Oh, and I think I said "How" in one of my posts. Let me apologize for that right now, in case I say it again. )
Tucson has the nice Saguaro Monument's on either side of town...very nice. That type of desert is quickly becoming a memory. Phoenix barely has any of the nature stuff left...it's all been turned into strip malls and cookie cutter houses.
I've got a very large cholla cactus in my front yard...it's getting a little too shaggy for me. I will have to get on my suit of armor to trim it up...nasty plants, those cholla.
Don't laugh, but I bought one of those baby Saguaro. It came in one of those cute touristy boxes and so I packed it in my suitcase. Duh. When I got home I thought the airline had thrown dirt in my suitcase, until I found the box of cactus.
I think I took a photo of every freaking one I saw. I was amazed at how much they weigh-tons!
you certainly don't make it any easier for yourself...inducing jokes and stereoypes...I probably know more Native Americans than you do...most, not all but most would be appalled with you halfhearted banter
Dude, you should take a chill pill. You probably know more Native Americans than a self-proclaimed injun? Where do you get off?
Don't laugh, but I bought one of those baby Saguaro. It came in one of those cute touristy boxes and so I packed it in my suitcase. Duh. When I got home I thought the airline had thrown dirt in my suitcase, until I found the box of cactus.
I think I took a photo of every freaking one I saw. I was amazed at how much they weigh-tons!
They are quite large. Larger than most people realize until they stand next to one.
you certainly don't make it any easier for yourself...inducing jokes and stereoypes...I probably know more Native Americans than you do...most, not all but most would be appalled with you halfhearted banter
Bullshit. The only ones I know that get "appalled" are the ones who are so far to the left they stopped becoming ndns and basically became puppets of PC democrats.
Bullshit. The only ones I know that get "appalled" are the ones who are so far to the left they stopped becoming ndns and basically became puppets of PC democrats.
it's not about politics out here...not even close...you have no clue
Yeah, cuz only the various Pueblo people are real indians. Here's a newsflash, Steve, and I know it will come as a shock to you, but not all indians are the same.
Just, you know, FYI.
Seriously, though, pick up a book or two by Deloria and open your eyes a bit.
it's not about politics out here...not even close...you have no clue
Well, I'd probably have a clue if, you know, I stuck my nose in the pueblo people's business. But since I'm not pueblo, I figure what they do is their own business. Unless it's a broader issue that effects all of indian country, then I'd probably be involved.
Yeah, cuz only the various Pueblo people are real indians. Here's a newsflash, Steve, and I know it will come as a shock to you, but not all indians are the same.
Just, you know, FYI.
Seriously, though, pick up a book or two by Deloria and open your eyes a bit.
I live with Native Americans...how much of your life did you live in poverty on govt handouts...do you know your native language?...do you practice ancient ritual to keep your spirit alive for the next generation?...I'm not impressed with your injun firewater bullshit
It never fails. A thread is moving along nicely, everyone is in a good mood and having fun. Then someone cops an attitude, starts a pissing match and ruins it for everyone.
Well, I'd probably have a clue if, you know, I stuck my nose in the pueblo people's business. But since I'm not pueblo, I figure what they do is their own business. Unless it's a broader issue that effects all of indian country, then I'd probably be involved.
what is indian country? and what issue are you talking about? politics?, whether indians are liberals?
I live with Native Americans...how much of your life did you live in poverty on govt handouts...do you know your native language?...do you practice ancient ritual to keep your spirit alive for the next generation?...I'm not impressed with your injun firewater bullshit
Actually, until I left and joined the military, yeah I lived in poverty. I hunted, fished, and grew food from the time I was able. Yeah, I know what it's like to depend on the government for handouts, medical care, etc... And I fought my way out of it. I suppose I could have stayed where I was and just said "Fuck it" and kept drinking my way into a grave, having no sense of hope for a future, watching relatives die, go to prison, get killed by the Surrete, etc... I speak my language, I know the stories, I know the songs, I know the spiritual beliefs - I mean, it's not pueblo, but I assure you it's still quite real.
The pueblos, for all their troubles, were relatively lucky - for whatever problems they have and continue to have, they at least have managed to maintain some sense of normalcy in their every day life - it hasn't changed much since contact. Now, you go to someplace like Ahkwesáhsne, well, it's one fucked up place. Random shootings, factionalism, violence, drugs, smuggling, constant harrassment by the canadian AND american police... our homeland split between two countries etc...
I love the southwest. It's really nice. It ain't like where I'm from, or Pine Ridge, or any other rez...
Well, I'd probably have a clue if, you know, I stuck my nose in the pueblo people's business. But since I'm not pueblo, I figure what they do is their own business. Unless it's a broader issue that effects all of indian country, then I'd probably be involved.
You don't have to prove your Indian cred to some wannabe, Bare.
If I were you, I'd ignore him. Maybe a can of bug spray can take care of whatever bug has crawled up his ass.
We call it GAZE around here. Just scroll right by.
Actually, until I left and joined the military, yeah I lived in poverty. I hunted, fished, and grew food from the time I was able. Yeah, I know what it's like to depend on the government for handouts, medical care, etc... And I fought my way out of it. I suppose I could have stayed where I was and just said "Fuck it" and kept drinking my way into a grave, having no sense of hope for a future, watching relatives die, go to prison, get killed by the Surrete, etc... I speak my language, I know the stories, I know the songs, I know the spiritual beliefs - I mean, it's not pueblo, but I assure you it's still quite real.
The pueblos, for all their troubles, were relatively lucky - for whatever problems they have and continue to have, they at least have managed to maintain some sense of normalcy in their every day life - it hasn't changed much since contact. Now, you go to someplace like Ahkwesáhsne, well, it's one fucked up place. Random shootings, factionalism, violence, drugs, smuggling, constant harrassment by the canadian AND american police... our homeland split between two countries etc...
I love the southwest. It's really nice. It ain't like where I'm from, or Pine Ridge, or any other rez...
good for you and I respect you for it...I apologize if I insulted you...obviously I have issues, but the object is hardly to make enemies, but I'm sensitive about your airs...I'll get over it
nemaste
You don't have to prove your Indian cred to some wannabe, Bare.
If I were you, I'd ignore him. Maybe a can of bug spray can take care of whatever bug has crawled up his ass.
We call it GAZE around here. Just scroll right by.
I actually like Steve. He seems like a good guy, overall. He doesn't like an indian making fun of himself with "stereotypes", and that's his right.
It's kinda like some of the ones you and I know that talk normal, until they get up on a stage, and suddenly it's "Let... us... talk... about... the... goodness... of... the... laaand... Oh!" etc... Or in the 40s when my own people did the whole headdress/teepee thing even though we never had those, but it was what the tourists expected, and hey, we needed the money ROFL...
You make my friend - a minority - feel unwelcome here (on TWO separate occasions), and you have the nerve to complain to me now, when I finally get nasty back?
Unreal.
Just ignore me, Steve. That's what I plan to do with you.
good for you and I respect you for it...I apologize if I insulted you...obviously I have issues, but the object is hardly to make enemies, but I'm sensitive about your airs...I'll get over it
nemaste
We all have issues. I've come a long way from where I was, and I'm proud of where I got to. That doesn't mean I'm not proud of where I came from, who I am, etc... all those experiences along the way made me who I am.
If I offended anyone, even you, it wasn't my intent - I mostly enjoy what I call "Self-defecating humour".
- Plus, I am a recovered alcoholic, know a bunch of people what own smokeshops, and I've loved blowing stuff up with black powder ever since I was a kid... so, really, it was all true ;)
Peace?
(I'll just sign all mosts with "Peace" cuz that's what my friend Peter, a Yaqui, signs all his emails with... )
We all have issues. I've come a long way from where I was, and I'm proud of where I got to. That doesn't mean I'm not proud of where I came from, who I am, etc... all those experiences along the way made me who I am.
If I offended anyone, even you, it wasn't my intent - I mostly enjoy what I call "Self-defecating humour".
- Plus, I am a recovered alcoholic, know a bunch of people what own smokeshops, and I've loved blowing stuff up with black powder ever since I was a kid... so, really, it was all true ;)
Peace?
(I'll just sign all mosts with "Peace" cuz that's what my friend Peter, a Yaqui, signs all his emails with... )
Remind me to tell you sometime about when a cousin of mine got me caught up in smuggling cigarettes in a rowboat across the St. Lawrence when I was 14... I used to be such a dumbass.
Nice car.
Nice website too.
Over in PA, they have a nice car show twice a year in Carlisle. Where you can buy all sorts of parts, and cars too. I have seen allot of different ones there. It is a nice car. To me, it is like an investment also. The old cars go up in value. More fun than having a CD or stocks! [Link: www.carsatcarlisle.com...]
Remind me to tell you sometime about when a cousin of mine got me caught up in smuggling cigarettes in a rowboat across the St. Lawrence when I was 14... I used to be such a dumbass.
Oh, I just got an email response from John Derbyshire (I'd sent the Derb an email pitching my harebrained scheme to somehow reduce Andrew Sullivan to a quivering, wasted piece of jelly, taking the ne'er-do-wells of the Gay Safer-Sex Establishment down with him.) He wrote back:
Rob: I am entirely sympathetic & wish you well in your war against the buggery brigades. I am swamped with work at the moment though & simply can't take anything on.
The word "buggery" appeared in my New York Post the other day, but in
its strict legal meaning -- it was a guy with a horse.
Best,
JD
Well, I appreciated the kind response, anyway.
On a related note, my spin-off thread about a Dutch anti-AIDS educational campaign that was strangled in the womb attracted the attention of some zero-karma dipshit lurker who's made 2 posts in the last year. One of you lizards predicted that my "Just Say No to What-What" crusade will be an uphill battle; that's certainly true, but a lot of the tsuris that waits ahead for me has less to do with hostile reactions, and more to do with the colossal web of deception that gay men spin around the delicate topic of anal sex.
:-) . . . Just think of the 'progress' we have seen. The luxury of . . . toilet paper.
I remember how excited I was to have an indoor sitdown. It was awesome! We put in a bathroom and everything. Drafty as hell, crappy house, etc... but we were so proud of our new bathroom.
Within a few weeks, there were bullet holes in the walls so if you were in the shower, you could look through them into my parent's bedroom. LOL
I remember how excited I was to have an indoor sitdown. It was awesome! We put in a bathroom and everything. Drafty as hell, crappy house, etc... but we were so proud of our new bathroom.
Within a few weeks, there were bullet holes in the walls so if you were in the shower, you could look through them into my parent's bedroom. LOL
I dont' know if I should say this, because it might perpetuate a stereotype, but let's just say that there was an incident that may or may not have involved alcohol and a "domestic disturbance" of some kind, and leave it at that. ;)
And no, no one was killed. Family gatherings were always so exciting LOL
I dont' know if I should say this, because it might perpetuate a stereotype, but let's just say that there was an incident that may or may not have involved alcohol and a "domestic disturbance" of some kind, and leave it at that. ;)
And no, no one was killed. Family gatherings were always so exciting LOL
Hey, are the Pima injuns part of the Pueblos? Just axin' because I have a Pima-related anecdote to share, that I think RunningBare will appreciate.
Anyway, I think that RunningBare and I ought to form some sort of club, along with AfroCity and other representatives of minority groups that have been devastated by an addiction to gummint subsidies and the accompanying sense of perpetual victimhood.
That link, by the way, is to a story in the Washington Blade, about a DC attorney who evidently decided to emulate Madonna by "re-inventing himself" -- as a gay version of Henry Gates.
Yeah. LOL. One time, we had a big family get together. A lot of distant relatives, and other families in our clan and such, and I learned my first useful lesson. I was about 13, and I got drunk and passed out.
When I woke up, I opened my eyes - I was staring straight down at the ground which was a good twn or more feet below me. My step-brothers had tied me to the underside of a big branch of a tree. Almost had a friggin heart attack when my eyes fluttered open.
Lesson learned - if I was gonna pass out, it was gonna be where no one would know LOL
Hey, are the Pima injuns part of the Pueblos? Just axin' because I have a Pima-related anecdote to share, that I think RunningBare will appreciate.
Anyway, I think that RunningBare and I ought to form some sort of club, along with AfroCity and other representatives of minority groups that have been devastated by an addiction to gummint subsidies and the accompanying sense of perpetual victimhood.
That link, by the way, is to a story in the Washington Blade, about a DC attorney who evidently decided to emulate Madonna by "re-inventing himself" -- as a gay version of Henry Gates.
I think they were on of the O'odham tribes. Forget which. I dont' think they are pueblo as we know them today. But I always appreciate a good anecdote. :)
Yeah. LOL. One time, we had a big family get together. A lot of distant relatives, and other families in our clan and such, and I learned my first useful lesson. I was about 13, and I got drunk and passed out.
When I woke up, I opened my eyes - I was staring straight down at the ground which was a good twn or more feet below me. My step-brothers had tied me to the underside of a big branch of a tree. Almost had a friggin heart attack when my eyes fluttered open.
Lesson learned - if I was gonna pass out, it was gonna be where no one would know LOL
Now that is just cruel. LMAO.
Why didn't I ever think of that ?
Now that is just cruel. LMAO.
Why didn't I ever think of that ?
Part of me wishes I didn't reinforce the whole "no drinking" thing with my own kids, just so I could that to them. Luckily, they have no interest whatsoever in drinking, so it's just as well.
Part of me wishes I didn't reinforce the whole "no drinking" thing with my own kids, just so I could that to them. Luckily, they have no interest whatsoever in drinking, so it's just as well.
Glad you did.
With that, I bid you good evening, or morning, or what the hell time is it ?
I encourage you to keep putting the message out. I think you're on to something.
Thanks, jaunte. And by the way, today I created a new blogsite devoted exclusively to raising awareness among straight people (and especially conservatives) about the existence of the "grassroots, Web-based frot movement" that is now over a decade old, yet gets virtually no coverage in the "gay MSM," and no share of the "AIDS Education" tax-dollar pie.
The new site is intended to be totally work-safe -- at least insofar as there are no sexually titillating graphics except for the small Wikipedia line-drawing of two dudes "frotting." Obviously lots of embarrassing and detailed candor about male/male sex fun -- I'm still trying to figure out the best mix of clinical terminology and disarmingly-bawdy -- so not at all child-safe. Maybe teen-appropriate, but I leave that judgment to parents.
(And I bring up teens because statistically speaking, there must be plenty of lizards out there with sons or nephews who very much need to hear what I'm saying, however you want to filter it for them -- because what they'll get from the Gay Community is comforting PC lies and a potentially lethal dose of non-judgmentalism.)
P.S. The funfrotfacts.blogspot.com site is still kinda under construction -- I mean the layout may change in the next few days, and I need to create a FAQ page, etc.
Frank says: