Onion: College Males Admit to Regularly Getting Stoked

Charles Johnsonfollow me on twitter
Humor • Sat Dec 5, 2009 at 1:38 pm PST • Views: 335
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76 comments

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1 Stormy  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:39:43pm

LOL DUDE!

I work at a 2 year college - it's all true :)

2 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:43:32pm

totally stoked on this rad vid, c-dawg

3 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:43:55pm

^^^

holla back if yall hear dis

4 Cathypop  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:46:11pm

Nancy is my favorite one on that panel.
I had to watch it three times it was so funny.

5 Locker  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:47:12pm
Student Still Stoked After Recovering "Rad-Ass Hoodie"

Ahaha hilarious.

6 Cannadian Club Akbar  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:47:21pm

re: #3 SpaceJesus

^^^

holla back if yall hear dis

Does gagsta count as a second language?

7 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:49:04pm

hella stoked right now cuz some random canadian dude just quoted me

8 Cannadian Club Akbar  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:49:10pm

re: #6 Cannadian Club Akbar

Gangster...PIMF

9 Obdicut  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:49:21pm

Man, Onion TV has really gotten a hell of a lot better. I'm really into it these days.

10 Cannadian Club Akbar  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:49:55pm

re: #7 SpaceJesus

hella stoked right now cuz some random canadian dude just quoted me

From Florida?

11 Cathypop  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:50:25pm

re: #8 Cannadian Club Akbar

I liked gagsta.

12 MandyManners  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:50:42pm
13 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:50:43pm

re: #10 Cannadian Club Akbar

From Florida?


*fist bump*

14 recusancy  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:51:12pm

Not sure if it's been posted here yet, but that story about that supposed terrorist dry run in Atlanta that the right winger blogs were all in a tizzy about has thoroughly been debunked.

15 Cannadian Club Akbar  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:51:32pm

re: #13 SpaceJesus

*fist bump*

Back to ya...

16 Cathypop  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:54:10pm

re: #12 MandyManners

Priceless!

17 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:56:45pm

My favorite line:

"And now he's dead."

"Oh my God!"

"Well, I assume he is."

18 Cannadian Club Akbar  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:57:09pm

I cleaned half of my house the yesterday.

19 Cathypop  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:57:16pm

re: #17 Charles

That was Nancy. She is my favorite.

20 Cathypop  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:57:50pm

re: #18 Cannadian Club Akbar

And?

21 Cannadian Club Akbar  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:58:32pm

re: #18 Cannadian Club Akbar

I cleaned half of my house the yesterday.

That made sense.

22 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 1:59:19pm

re: #18 Cannadian Club Akbar

I cleaned half of my house the yesterday.

did you find any rad-ass hoodies in it

23 MandyManners  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:01:00pm

re: #16 Cathypop

Priceless!

I never thought I'd feel sorry for BHO.

24 Cathypop  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:02:18pm

re: #23 MandyManners
Ya think Michelle is having a little talk with her hubby?

25 Locker  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:03:31pm

re: #17 Charles

(Good one but my fav is also from 'Nancy').

"People just don't want to be told everything is 'So Tight!' over and over and over."

"Nancy don't hate man!"

"I'm just telling you how it is fool!"

26 bosforus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:06:09pm

3pm sure does sneak up on ya when you sleep in till noon.
On topic: I love the irate black woman in these videos. She's the best!

27 jaunte  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:06:23pm

re: #14 recusancy

Not sure if it's been posted here yet, but that story about that supposed terrorist dry run in Atlanta that the right winger blogs were all in a tizzy about has thoroughly been debunked.

I hadn't seen that before. It's still surprising anyone bit on that without checking it out first.

28 MandyManners  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:07:54pm

re: #24 Cathypop

Ya think Michelle is having a little talk with her hubby?

I don't think she's ever had to.

29 Winston Smith, Fox News Moderator  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:08:42pm

I like being old, more and more as time goes on in fact.

When I was in my teens, back in the sixties, old people seemed very mean and altogether too likely to take everything we did too seriously. When young men started growing long hair and beards, for example, the oldsters did not see it as a silly affectation or an attempt to conform to an identifying subculture; they saw it as an attack on civilization itself. The more stridently the old folks reacted, the stronger and more rebellious the hair culture became. The result was hair length as revolutionary symbol and, absurdly, as a major issue in and of itself. Here in the south, young men were regularly harrassed and sometimes beaten for "looking like hippies." It was an obsession for law enforcement and the "straight" citizens they represented. I have mentioned how I dared not venture onto the streets during the Chicago Convention riots of 1968, for fear the cops would take my typical 19-year-old's grooming for antiwar activism and beat me senseless.

30 brookly red  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:10:51pm

re: #27 jaunte

I hadn't seen that before. It's still surprising anyone bit on that without checking it out first.

How does one go from "Muslim in full garb" to Spanish speaking? Weird.

31 SanFranciscoZionist  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:11:44pm

re: #29 Shiplord Kirel

I like being old, more and more as time goes on in fact.

When I was in my teens, back in the sixties, old people seemed very mean and altogether too likely to take everything we did too seriously. When young men started growing long hair and beards, for example, the oldsters did not see it as a silly affectation or an attempt to conform to an identifying subculture; they saw it as an attack on civilization itself. The more stridently the old folks reacted, the stronger and more rebellious the hair culture became. The result was hair length as revolutionary symbol and, absurdly, as a major issue in and of itself. Here in the south, young men were regularly harrassed and sometimes beaten for "looking like hippies." It was an obsession for law enforcement and the "straight" citizens they represented. I have mentioned how I dared not venture onto the streets during the Chicago Convention riots of 1968, for fear the cops would take my typical 19-year-old's grooming for antiwar activism and beat me senseless.

My father is of your generation, and was himself a cop for a time. He recalls have a conversation with his partner, who was getting worked up about the elaborately dyed and spiked punk hairstyles popular then on the street.

"Ed," my dad pointed out, "you remember how crazy the old people got back when we were kids, and grew out our hair? Maybe you're overreacting."

"Yeah," Ed protested, "But at least we looked like human beings!"

32 ThomasLite  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:13:20pm

re: #12 MandyManners

10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger.

wow. speechless here. saddest part is he'll probably get slammed on it from some wingnut blogs. as long as you don't take it too seriously, it's pretty hilarious though!

33 MandyManners  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:13:26pm

re: #29 Shiplord Kirel

I like being old, more and more as time goes on in fact.

When I was in my teens, back in the sixties, old people seemed very mean and altogether too likely to take everything we did too seriously. When young men started growing long hair and beards, for example, the oldsters did not see it as a silly affectation or an attempt to conform to an identifying subculture; they saw it as an attack on civilization itself. The more stridently the old folks reacted, the stronger and more rebellious the hair culture became. The result was hair length as revolutionary symbol and, absurdly, as a major issue in and of itself. Here in the south, young men were regularly harrassed and sometimes beaten for "looking like hippies." It was an obsession for law enforcement and the "straight" citizens they represented. I have mentioned how I dared not venture onto the streets during the Chicago Convention riots of 1968, for fear the cops would take my typical 19-year-old's grooming for antiwar activism and beat me senseless.

I wouldn't kick Mick Jagger ourta' my bed.

34 MandyManners  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:15:59pm

re: #32 ThomasLite

wow. speechless here. saddest part is he'll probably get slammed on it from some wingnut blogs. as long as you don't take it too seriously, it's pretty hilarious though!

Sounds like Elin could give BHO a tip or two on the swing.

35 Cannadian Club Akbar  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:16:46pm

re: #33 MandyManners

I wouldn't kick Mick Jagger ourta' my bed.

[Video]


So, I'm still in the running...

36 SanFranciscoZionist  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:16:52pm

OT: Irshad Manji is asking her Muslim readers to write messages condemning anti-Semitism, in response to the European Jewish Students Union's condemnation of the minaret ban.

This woman is truly doing all the stuff we ask moderate Muslims to do. She is cool. And I like her hair.

37 SanFranciscoZionist  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:17:22pm

re: #34 MandyManners

Sounds like Elin could give BHO a tip or two on the swing.

Lacks finesse, but makes up for it in pure commitment.

38 borgcube  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:17:43pm

You just knew Nancy was going to get the best line as always. The anticipation was worth it. I'm fucking stoked right now watching the SEC game and Onion videos during the commercials. Fucking-a man.

39 bosforus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:20:01pm

re: #14 recusancy

Not sure if it's been posted here yet, but that story about that supposed terrorist dry run in Atlanta that the right winger blogs were all in a tizzy about has thoroughly been debunked.

That email had everything but a theme song. It was so obviously made up it wasn't even worth paying attention to... unless you're Glenn Beck.

40 borgcube  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:23:50pm

re: #39 bosforus

That email had everything but a theme song. It was so obviously made up it wasn't even worth paying attention to... unless you're Glenn Beck.

Didn't even have to go to Snopes for that one. That really had some traction? Really? That's perhaps even scarier than had the thing been legit.

41 Winston Smith, Fox News Moderator  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:25:35pm

re: #33 MandyManners

I wouldn't kick Mick Jagger ourta' my bed.


[Video]

The alleged promiscuity of young people was a huge issue among the hippie-haters at the time. They apparently believed that every young woman was a whore and every guy with shoulder-length hair could get laid any time he felt like it (which I only wished were true). Among older men, there was more than a hint of jealousy in this and young women were often harassed in ways that would land the perp in jail today. When I got out of the army (temporarily) and went to college, I discovered that the well-scrubbed, church-going "straight" girls were a lot more cooperative than the "hippie chicks" in this respect, especially when I recruited my baby brother (then less than 2 years old) as a prop. In those long-vanished days they let you take kids to class if they weren't a disruption. My brother was a cute little blond tyke and I had only to haul him around the campus to draw a crowd of girls cooing about him.
Buwawaaahaaa!

42 bosforus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:26:29pm

re: #40 borgcube

Didn't even have to go to Snopes for that one. That really had some traction? Really? That's perhaps even scarier than had the thing been legit.

Michael Bay could certainly direct the movie version.

43 bosforus  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:27:08pm

re: #42 bosforus

Michael Bay could certainly direct the movie version.

Screen play by Tom Clancy.

44 reine.de.tout  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:29:52pm

re: #36 SanFranciscoZionist

OT: Irshad Manji is asking her Muslim readers to write messages condemning anti-Semitism, in response to the European Jewish Students Union's condemnation of the minaret ban.

This woman is truly doing all the stuff we ask moderate Muslims to do. She is cool. And I like her hair.

Did you read the comments?
She is indeed cool - and I like her hair, too.

45 SanFranciscoZionist  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:34:10pm

re: #39 bosforus

That email had everything but a theme song. It was so obviously made up it wasn't even worth paying attention to... unless you're Glenn Beck.

All ye who mock the 48 hour rule, and act as though people were being PeeeCeee when something does turn out to be terrorism--here's why we're cautious!

46 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:35:43pm

re: #45 SanFranciscoZionist

All ye who mock the 48 hour rule, and act as though people were being PeeeCeee when something does turn out to be terrorism--here's why we're cautious!

Hell yeah. I read it here, and doubted it, but didn't find out till today that it was bs.

47 SanFranciscoZionist  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:37:02pm

re: #41 Shiplord Kirel

The alleged promiscuity of young people was a huge issue among the hippie-haters at the time. They apparently believed that every young woman was a whore and every guy with shoulder-length hair could get laid any time he felt like it (which I only wished were true). Among older men, there was more than a hint of jealousy in this and young women were often harassed in ways that would land the perp in jail today. When I got out of the army (temporarily) and went to college, I discovered that the well-scrubbed, church-going "straight" girls were a lot more cooperative than the "hippie chicks" in this respect, especially when I recruited my baby brother (then less than 2 years old) as a prop. In those long-vanished days they let you take kids to class if they weren't a disruption. My brother was a cute little blond tyke and I had only to haul him around the campus to draw a crowd of girls cooing about him.
Buwawaaahaaa!

BTW, has anyone here read the account Maziar Bahari wrote for Newsweek about being held by the Iranian government? Scary, but very interesting.

I mention this in light of the above post because there's a bit where the interrogator is going through his contacts, and asks how he met a woman in his phone list. He says he met her at a party, and the guy looks wise and says "a sex party", and doesn't believe him when he says he's never been to a 'sex party'.

The interrogator also insists that you can walk up to any woman on the Champs Elysees and have sex with her. ((I know many the tourist boy who wishes this were so...))

48 SanFranciscoZionist  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:37:50pm

re: #44 reine.de.tout

Did you read the comments?
She is indeed cool - and I like her hair, too.

Some of them, yeah. I'm working my way down.

49 SilentAlfa  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:39:00pm

In other news: far-right radio talk show hosts have been on the FBI payroll to spy on potential domestic terror groups.

Records show feds used ultra-right radio host for years

Ha, what if Glenn Beck is on the FBI payroll to spy on white supremacists?

50 brookly red  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:41:46pm

re: #49 SilentAlfa

In other news: far-right radio talk show hosts have been on the FBI payroll to spy on potential domestic terror groups.

Records show feds used ultra-right radio host for years

Ha, what if Glenn Beck is on the FBI payroll to spy on white supremacists?

I believe they a literacy test...

51 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:42:16pm

re: #49 SilentAlfa

In other news: far-right radio talk show hosts have been on the FBI payroll to spy on potential domestic terror groups.

Records show feds used ultra-right radio host for years

Ha, what if Glenn Beck is on the FBI payroll to spy on white supremacists?

Sounds like something out of a movie.

52 ThomasLite  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:44:33pm

re: #49 SilentAlfa

In other news: far-right radio talk show hosts have been on the FBI payroll to spy on potential domestic terror groups.

Records show feds used ultra-right radio host for years

Ha, what if Glenn Beck is on the FBI payroll to spy on white supremacists?

that was known for a while
[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

I believe there was an article about that on LGF back then, but I fail at using the search function so badly I can't be sure of that.

53 MandyManners  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:48:50pm

re: #41 Shiplord Kirel

The alleged promiscuity of young people was a huge issue among the hippie-haters at the time. They apparently believed that every young woman was a whore and every guy with shoulder-length hair could get laid any time he felt like it (which I only wished were true). Among older men, there was more than a hint of jealousy in this and young women were often harassed in ways that would land the perp in jail today. When I got out of the army (temporarily) and went to college, I discovered that the well-scrubbed, church-going "straight" girls were a lot more cooperative than the "hippie chicks" in this respect, especially when I recruited my baby brother (then less than 2 years old) as a prop. In those long-vanished days they let you take kids to class if they weren't a disruption. My brother was a cute little blond tyke and I had only to haul him around the campus to draw a crowd of girls cooing about him.
Buwawaaahaaa!

So, did it work?

54 Cato the Elder  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:51:41pm

The lucky ones get stroked.

55 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:54:02pm

Nom Nom Cat is pleased.

56 Aceofwhat?  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:58:09pm

re: #30 brookly red

How does one go from "Muslim in full garb" to Spanish speaking? Weird.

Poncho!!!

57 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:58:13pm

Andrew Breitbart calls for climate scientist James Hansen to be killed. Really.

[Link: twitter.com...]

Capital punishment for Dr James Hansen. Climategate is high treason.

58 albusteve  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:58:17pm

I was gifted

59 austin_blue  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 2:59:51pm

re: #57 Charles

Andrew Breitbart calls for NASA scientist James Hansen to be killed. Really.

[Link: twitter.com...]

Science = treason?

Nice...

60 Winston Smith, Fox News Moderator  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:00:09pm

re: #53 MandyManners

So, did it work?

It did, but it backfired: That was how I met my first wife, then a well-scrubbed church girl and ex-cheerleader but later known as Jezebel and Jabba the Slutt.

61 freetoken  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:00:15pm

re: #57 Charles

Yeah, that has been kicking around the blogs for a few days, but the right-o-sphere seems to be trying their best to ignore that yet another one of their heroes is an idiot.

62 Conservative Moonbat  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:00:48pm

re: #51 HappyWarrior

Sounds like something out of a movie.

Hal Turner was on the FBI payroll. That's how he got away with his shit for as long as he did.

63 freetoken  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:01:39pm

Meanwhile, over on Volokh the lawyer Jim Lindgreen is doing his best to try and legitimize McIntyre by delving into the MWP idiocy of the denial-o-sphere.

Lawyers should stick to law.

64 Winston Smith, Fox News Moderator  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:02:24pm

re: #57 Charles

Andrew Breitbart calls for climate scientist James Hansen to be killed. Really.

[Link: twitter.com...]

Bat. Shit. Crazy.

65 Cannadian Club Akbar  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:02:27pm

re: #57 Charles

Andrew Breitbart calls for NASA scientist James Hansen to be killed. Really.

[Link: twitter.com...]

Maybe Huckabee is involved..

66 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:03:45pm

Oh crap, now high treason is maligned in the name of climate change deniers.

67 ausador  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:04:36pm

re: #55 Killgore Trout

cute. :)

68 Conservative Moonbat  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:04:41pm

re: #57 Charles

Andrew Breitbart calls for climate scientist James Hansen to be killed. Really.

[Link: twitter.com...]

I'm going to start only drinking warm water. They must be putting something in the right hand taps.

69 avanti  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:06:41pm

re: #14 recusancy

Not sure if it's been posted here yet, but that story about that supposed terrorist dry run in Atlanta that the right winger blogs were all in a tizzy about has thoroughly been debunked.

I mentioned it a few days away, with a link to snopes debunking it. I thought some of the right wing sites might correct the story, but instead more have picked it up. One poster suggested all passengers should be given a handgun when boarding to handle things like that. just google Flight 297 Atlanta to Houston if you want some entrainment.

70 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:07:16pm

re: #62 Conservative Moonbat

Hal Turner was on the FBI payroll. That's how he got away with his shit for as long as he did.

I was thinking it was like the Departed and how Nicholson's character had been committing all those crimes while simultaneously being a FBI informant. Guess it's similar to the real Whitey Bulger story.

71 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:08:20pm

re: #57 Charles

Curious background image on his twitter page; Obama in military uniform, but the button is blurred out. Here's the original

72 Kruk  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:13:42pm

Heh. And hot on the heels of the news that guys in college smoke illegal substances comes the revelation that men like to watch porn.

[Link: www.telegraph.co.uk...]

Re: Tiger's tips for BHO. Would "Don't let the missus borrow your clubs?" be on that list?

73 SanFranciscoZionist  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:16:37pm

re: #69 avanti

I mentioned it a few days away, with a link to snopes debunking it. I thought some of the right wing sites might correct the story, but instead more have picked it up. One poster suggested all passengers should be given a handgun when boarding to handle things like that. just google Flight 297 Atlanta to Houston if you want some entrainment.

Sure, I'd love to be issued a handgun to 'handle things like that'. I'm just not so sure about everyone else on the plane getting them. I'm sure no one would panic and shoot an Indian actress. (Just remembering the time jets were scrambled to deal with a Bollywood princess and her entourage...anyone remember that?)

Also, if everyone on the plane gets a handgun, doesn't that mean the terrorists have also been armed by the airline?

How about air marshalls instead?

74 avanti  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:19:03pm

re: #73 SanFranciscoZionist

Sure, I'd love to be issued a handgun to 'handle things like that'. I'm just not so sure about everyone else on the plane getting them. I'm sure no one would panic and shoot an Indian actress. (Just remembering the time jets were scrambled to deal with a Bollywood princess and her entourage...anyone remember that?)

Also, if everyone on the plane gets a handgun, doesn't that mean the terrorists have also been armed by the airline?

How about air marshalls instead?

Simple, just the handguns to white people./

75 Kruk  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 3:26:49pm

re: #74 avanti

Simple, just the handguns to white people./

Oh, we would never do that. We're too lily livered and PC to admit that all our security problems would be solved by keeping the coloreds cowering at gun point.

//

76 ausador  Sat, Dec 5, 2009 4:14:25pm

I must be getting too old, it is hard to get really stoked nowadays without liberal quantities of alcohol.


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 Frank says:

You see, when I was a kid I used to save up for a month, so I could get an R&B album and, the same day, the completed works of Anton Webern. Maybe that means something. Maybe that tells you something about my music. -- Excerpt from the book "Rock and Other Four Letter Words", copyright 1968.