Onion: Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins of ‘Friendster’

Charles Johnsonfollow me on twitter
Humor • Wed Dec 16, 2009 at 1:03 pm PST • Views: 1,028
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62 comments

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1 Diamond Bullet  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:04:57pm

I assume the research team was led by a dancing baby.

2 lawhawk  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:06:32pm

It was perhaps the remnants of a society known as AOL. /heh

3 Girth  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:10:57pm

Ben Stein is breathlessly attacking AGW on Cavuto right now.

4 freetoken  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:11:55pm

re: #3 Girth

Well, he is an economist, isn't he?

5 RogueOne  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:12:56pm
"Friendsters final users left only string of "I'm Rick James Bitch!" messages

I LOL'd

6 freetoken  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:13:11pm

BTW, still live blogging Copenhagen... with the national leaders done for the day, the worker bees are back at it.

Remember their working group was suspended because there was not a translator available (Chinese - English.)

Now, the Chinese rep is speaking... perfect English.

Classic.

7 Girth  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:13:16pm

Literally. I mean the guy must have been winded after the interview.

8 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:15:31pm

Friendster, myspace, facebook...I'd prefer to stay away from all the stalker-friendly social networking pages.

9 RogueOne  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:16:08pm

re: #8 Fenway_Nation

Friendster, myspace, facebook...I'd prefer to stay away from all the stalker-friendly social networking pages.

Thought I was the only one.

10 albusteve  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:16:43pm

re: #3 Girth

Ben Stein is breathlessly attacking AGW on Cavuto right now.

seems the barn door has been kicked wide open...this is bad news, watching how rapidly this thing is escalating...there must have been a zillion deniers just waiting for a crack...my dream of nuclear powere is probably sunk for my lifetime

11 Killgore Trout  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:17:20pm

re: #6 freetoken

Has anything interesting happened?

12 RogueOne  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:17:59pm

So much for the "debt limit"

[Link: www.cbsnews.com...]


The latest calculation of the National Debt as posted by the Treasury Department has - at least numerically - exceeded the statutory Debt Limit approved by Congress last February as part of the Recovery Act stimulus bill.

The ceiling was set at $12.104 trillion dollars. The latest posting by Treasury shows the National Debt at nearly $12.135 trillion.

$12.135 trillion and climbing...

13 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:18:01pm

re: #9 RogueOne

Well...that makes two of us.

I mean who the hell is going to care what I had for breakfast this morning or how much coffee I spilled on my crotch on the drive to work?

/Don't forget to visit my blog, where I wrote a post explaining this in great detail...///

14 RogueOne  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:18:55pm

re: #13 Fenway_Nation

Well...that makes two of us.

I mean who the hell is going to care what I had for breakfast this morning or how much coffee I spilled on my crotch on the drive to work?

/Don't forget to visit my blog, where I wrote a post explaining this in great detail...///

That deserves 2 thumbs up.

15 cliffster  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:21:11pm

re: #12 RogueOne

So much for the "debt limit"

[Link: www.cbsnews.com...]

$12.135 trillion and climbing...

Call me Ojoe..
[Link: www.usdebtclock.org...]

16 sattv4u2  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:21:29pm

re: #13 Fenway_Nation

Well...that makes two of us.

I mean who the hell is going to care what I had for breakfast this morning or how much coffee I spilled on my crotch on the drive to work?

/Don't forget to visit my blog, where I wrote a post explaining this in great detail...///

McDonalds lawyers are interested. They would hate to have to pay out millions more!

17 RogueOne  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:23:53pm

I gotta run people, play nice.

18 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:24:25pm

re: #16 sattv4u2

McDonalds lawyers are interested. They would hate to have to pay out millions more!

Why would McDonalds lawyers be interested in how much Dunkin' Donuts coffee I managed to baptise my groinal reigon in?

/

19 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:26:08pm

re: #17 RogueOne

I gotta run people, play nice.

Make me...

Fare thee well, solidary being of the wayward persuasion.

20 sattv4u2  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:28:31pm

re: #18 Fenway_Nation

Why would McDonalds lawyers be interested in how much Dunkin' Donuts coffee I managed to baptise my groinal reigon in?

/

Same law firm

Different floor!

21 freetoken  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:29:41pm

re: #11 Killgore Trout

Has anything interesting happened?

Interesting? Hmmm... well, it's not been very exciting, but it has been a bit enlightening.

Of the leaders who spoke today, I'd say Hugo was the standout if one counts how many words were spoken.

The delegates are no where near to having a treaty ready (FoxNews will be disappointed.)

There was one event of protestors in the main hall. Pretty minor.

22 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:30:06pm

re: #20 sattv4u2

Same law firm

Different floor!

Dewey, Chetham & Howe?

23 wiffersnapper  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:35:02pm

Isn't archaeology fun?

24 lawhawk  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:37:01pm
25 Killgore Trout  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:37:02pm

re: #21 freetoken

The delegates are no where near to having a treaty ready (FoxNews will be disappointed.)


Bummer, I was hoping for a New World Order for X-mas.

26 Bagua  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:37:05pm

re: #6 freetoken

BTW, still live blogging Copenhagen... with the national leaders done for the day, the worker bees are back at it.

Remember their working group was suspended because there was not a translator available (Chinese - English.)

Now, the Chinese rep is speaking... perfect English.

Classic.

Classic UN mismanagement indeed. That and issuing 45,000 access passes for a building that can only hold 15,000, leaving the rest locked out in the snow waiting for 7 hours before being sent away.

Expecting the UN to get anything right is a stretch, they can't even manage a conference, but now they want to manage the global climate.

27 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:40:31pm

re: #25 Killgore Trout

And I was hoping for an econoically crippling multitrillion dollar entitlement program disguised as 'refrom' for Christmas myself.
/

28 Bagua  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:40:57pm
Breaking: A study links heart disease to eating like a big fat pig nobody could love.


LoL, got to love the Onion.

29 freetoken  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:41:10pm

re: #26 Bagua

Classic UN mismanagement indeed.

I don't think the translator issue was mismanagement, it could have been planned. And I call what China did "diplomacy Kung-fu".

30 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:41:20pm

OK sattv...what do you think of the Lackey and Cameron signings?

31 sattv4u2  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:41:26pm

re: #26 Bagua

Classic UN mismanagement indeed. That and issuing 45,000 access passes for a building that can only hold 15,000, leaving the rest locked out in the snow waiting for 7 hours before being sent away.

Expecting the UN to get anything right is a stretch, they can't even manage a conference, but now they want to manage the global climate.


Thay passed out 30,000 of these Image: chinese_fan_HE03_l.jpg to the people that couldn;'t get in. They told them to face south and wave the fans all at the same time

32 Aceofwhat?  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:41:42pm

re: #26 Bagua

Classic UN mismanagement indeed. That and issuing 45,000 access passes for a building that can only hold 15,000, leaving the rest locked out in the snow waiting for 7 hours before being sent away.

Expecting the UN to get anything right is a stretch, they can't even manage a conference, but now they want the US and EU to manageto manage the global climate.

ftfy...

33 Aceofwhat?  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:42:56pm

re: #29 freetoken

I don't think the translator issue was mismanagement, it could have been planned. And I call what China did "diplomacy Kung-fu".

yeah, i wondered if they would make the prez call for a translator or just switch to English when they felt like it. cheeky move.

34 Killgore Trout  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:44:04pm

re: #27 Fenway_Nation

It's hard to tell what's up with healthcare reform. The Tea Parties are out of their minds and now the lefties are freaking out too. Looks like a vote after the new year but that's about all I can figure out.

35 albusteve  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:44:20pm

re: #25 Killgore Trout

Bummer, I was hoping for a New World Order for X-mas.

when Palistinians are represented at a UN climate change shakedown, I'd say that's a new world order

36 Bagua  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:45:55pm

re: #29 freetoken

I don't think the translator issue was mismanagement, it could have been planned. And I call what China did "diplomacy Kung-fu".

A delaying tactic by the China? I wouldn't put that past them, their participation in this conference is full of deception and manipulation.

37 SixDegrees  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:48:26pm

re: #34 Killgore Trout

It's hard to tell what's up with healthcare reform. The Tea Parties are out of their minds and now the lefties are freaking out too. Looks like a vote after the new year but that's about all I can figure out.

The Dems may need some more time to corral their own ranks. At least a couple of them noticed what Lieberman got by stonewalling, and little light bulbs flickered on over their heads...

38 freetoken  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:49:29pm

re: #36 Bagua

Well, I've been live blogging it all day... The Chinese delegate was trying to make a point, but also giving the meeting president a way out (to postpone the meeting for 8 hours) of the ongoing impasse. Having 193 countries in a room means nothing gets done quickly, but if the meeting is temporarily adjourned smaller groups form to discuss what is needed.

39 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:50:50pm

re: #38 freetoken

Well...that's 12 hours of your life that you're not getting back.

Ever.

40 freetoken  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:56:20pm

re: #39 Fenway_Nation

True, but fortunately I can do more than one thing at a time :-)

41 Bagua  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:56:29pm

re: #38 freetoken

Well, with 2 days left to save the world, they better make some progress quick!

42 Ben Hur  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 1:56:43pm

Twitter Tapping

The government is increasingly monitoring Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites for tax delinquents, copyright infringers and political protesters. A public interest group has filed a lawsuit to learn more about this monitoring, in the hope of starting a national discussion and modifying privacy laws as necessary for the online era.

The government is increasingly monitoring Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites for tax delinquents, copyright infringers and POLITICAL PROTESTERS.

POLITICAL PROTESTERS.

I know I know, it's nothing.

Just more ODS by the mainstream right-wing loonies at the NYTIMES editorial board.

43 sattv4u2  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:00:21pm

re: #30 Fenway_Nation

OK sattv...what do you think of the Lackey and Cameron signings?

Cameron is insurance just in case they can't re-do Bay. If Bay does re-sing, Cameron gives them defense in late innings in either center or left (keep Ellsbury in at center and put Cameron in left, or more likely put Cameron in center and Ellsbury in left for Bay late innings)

What can you say about Lackey? Dice K screwed himself up last year because of that World tourney and was just starting to come around near the end. NOW, he should start the season fine, with Dice K, Lackey, Becket, Lester, Bucholz and Wakefield, who sits?!?!?! I guess Wakefield becomes the all pupose guy

44 karmic_inquisitor  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:02:49pm

re: #21 freetoken

Interesting? Hmmm... well, it's not been very exciting, but it has been a bit enlightening.

Of the leaders who spoke today, I'd say Hugo was the standout if one counts how many words were spoken.

The delegates are no where near to having a treaty ready (FoxNews will be disappointed.)

There was one event of protestors in the main hall. Pretty minor.

The protesters had wanted to take over and declare a People's Gathering, IIRC. I wonder what a People's Gathering entails.

45 Bagua  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:05:53pm

re: #44 karmic_inquisitor

The protesters had wanted to take over and declare a People's Gathering, IIRC. I wonder what a People's Gathering entails.

We'll never know as the police answered with pepper spray.

Some demonstrators said they wanted to take over the global conference and turn it into a "people's assembly," and as they approached police lines they were hit with pepper spray.

46 sattv4u2  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:06:10pm

re: #44 karmic_inquisitor

The protesters had wanted to take over and declare a People's Gathering, IIRC. I wonder what a People's Gathering entails.

ummm,, PEOPLES!?!?!?

47 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:07:31pm

re: #43 sattv4u2

I thought Cameron meant that it was all the more likely Bay wasn't coming back.

Glad to hear about Lackey and glad that Halliday won't be going to *ahem* somebody else in the division.

48 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:10:17pm

re: #20 sattv4u2

re: #18 Fenway_Nation

Why would McDonalds lawyers be interested in how much Dunkin' Donuts coffee I managed to baptise my groinal reigon in?

/

That woman did get third degree burns over her genitals. If you actually read the details of that case, she was right to sue: [Link: ken_ashford.typepad.com...]


"Put bluntly, the coffee literally burned a grandmother's genitals off... through her clothes."

Another important point: this wasn't a one-time event. This wasn't a McDonald's worker who strayed from McDonald's coffee prep techniques. No. McDonald's coffee was served at 180-190 degrees as a matter of policy.

Not to be a buzzkill, but as the son of a lawyer, I ree-e-e-e-e-e-e-eally get tired of hearing snark about that lawsuit.

49 soxfan4life  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:13:08pm

re: #47 Fenway_Nation

Hey, whats up? Check your inbox.

50 sattv4u2  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:14:50pm

re: #48 WindUpBird

re: #18 Fenway_Nation


Not to be a buzzkill, but as the son of a lawyer, I ree-e-e-e-e-e-e-eally get tired of hearing snark about that lawsuit.

Must suck being you then
My brother in law as well as two of my closest freinds as well as several cousins are lawyers, and I don't get ree-e-e-e-e-e-e-eally tired of GIVING snark about that lawsuit

51 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:16:29pm

re: #50 sattv4u2

Must suck being you then
My brother in law as well as two of my closest freinds as well as several cousins are lawyers, and I don't get ree-e-e-e-e-e-e-eally tired of GIVING snark about that lawsuit

Hey, continue to misrepresent and make light of life threatening injuries, don't let me stop you. I just like to make sure the actual truth is out there.

Telling the truth is kinda cool!

52 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:23:37pm

Hey there soxfan...message recieved. Be sure to check your inbox.

53 soxfan4life  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:25:54pm

re: #52 Fenway_Nation

Whats new in Sox country today?

54 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:29:33pm

re: #53 soxfan4life

I take it you already heard about Lackey and Cameron? Sattv and I were discussing whether or not signing Mike Cameron meant for sure that the Jason Bay era in Boston is over.

55 gregb  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:30:16pm

Oouuuch. That hits a little too close to home.

56 soxfan4life  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:31:07pm

re: #54 Fenway_Nation

I take it you already heard about Lackey and Cameron? Sattv and I were discussing whether or not signing Mike Cameron meant for sure that the Jason Bay era in Boston is over.

Saw something where the Mets were in serious negotiations with Bay. Figured after the Pedro deal the Sox won't play and will just bow out.

57 Fenway_Nation  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:32:57pm

re: #56 soxfan4life

I saw something along those lines last weekend but haven't heard much about the Mets and Bay since then. I thought he had a lackluster season that kind of hurt his chances as a free-agent this offseason (as opposed to the Jason Bay of 2008).

58 sattv4u2  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:33:56pm

re: #51 WindUpBird

Hey, continue to misrepresent and make light of life threatening injuries, don't let me stop you. I just like to make sure the actual truth is out there.

Telling the truth is kinda cool!

When one plucks the hair across your butt, is it a D flat or an E Sharp?

59 HappyWarrior  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 2:42:43pm

Maybe they can find the lost civilization of Live Journal too. Clever stuff as usual by the Onion. It reminded me of the news report about the historic blockbuster video which my brother and I as a joke told our folks was the reality when they wanted to cancel the netflix account and return to Blockbuster.

60 Wozza Matter?  Wed, Dec 16, 2009 3:55:15pm

*nailed it...*

61 RoughRider  Thu, Dec 17, 2009 11:18:12am

re: #47 Fenway_Nation

I thought Cameron meant that it was all the more likely Bay wasn't coming back.

Rumor I've read is that an Ellsbury/Adrian Gonzalez deal is in the works with San Diego.

62 RoughRider  Thu, Dec 17, 2009 11:20:50am

re: #37 SixDegrees

The Dems may need some more time to corral their own ranks. At least a couple of them noticed what Lieberman got by stonewalling, and little light bulbs flickered on over their heads...

Mary Landrieu got a nice little jackpot for Louisiana too.


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