Virginia House Republican Wards Off the Antichrist

Weird • Views: 1,613

Satan has to wake up pretty early to put one over on Virginia Republican Delegate Mark L. Cole.

Beelzebub’s latest plot involves planting microchips in people against their will, a demonic body modification foretold in the Bible as the “mark of the Beast.”

Of course, nobody is actually inserting these devices into people without their knowledge. But they might start any day. Satan’s tricky like that.

Thankfully, Mark Cole stands ready to thwart the Horned One with his new legislation.

RICHMOND, FEB. 9 — The House of Delegates is scheduled to vote Wednesday on a bill that would protect Virginians from attempts by employers or insurance companies to implant microchips in their bodies against their will.

It might also save humanity from the antichrist, some supporters think.

Del. Mark L. Cole (R-Fredericksburg), the bill’s sponsor, said that privacy issues are the chief concern behind his attempt to criminalize the involuntary implantation of microchips. But he also said he shared concerns that the devices could someday be used as the “mark of the beast” described in the Book of Revelation.

“My understanding — I’m not a theologian — but there’s a prophecy in the Bible that says you’ll have to receive a mark, or you can neither buy nor sell things in end times,” Cole said. “Some people think these computer chips might be that mark.”

Cole said that the growing use of microchips could allow employers, insurers or the government to track people against their will and that implanting a foreign object into a human being could also have adverse health effects.

I just think you should have the right to control your own body,” Cole said.

Take a moment to appreciate the monumental hypocrisy of that last sentence, as a Republican who undoubtedly wants to criminalize abortion pontificates about having the “right to control your own body.”

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