The Unexpurgated Autobiography of Mark Twain

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Here’s a new book I’m very much looking forward to reading, reviewed by Larry Rohter in the New York Times Books section: Mark Twain’s Unexpurgated Autobiography.

Twain’s autobiography has been previously published, but only after meddlesome editors removed some passages, ostensibly to protect Twain’s reputation.

Versions of the autobiography have been published before, in 1924, 1940 and 1959. But the original editor, Albert Bigelow Paine, was a stickler for propriety, cutting entire sections he thought offensive; his successors imposed a chronological cradle-to-grave narrative that Twain had specifically rejected, altered his distinctive punctuation, struck additional material they considered uninteresting and generally bowed to the desire of Twain’s daughter Clara, who died in 1962, to protect her father’s image.

“Paine was a Victorian editor,” said Robert Hirst, curator and general editor of the Mark Twain Papers and Project at the Bancroft Library at the University of California, Berkeley, where Twain’s papers are housed. “He has an exaggerated sense of how dangerous some of Twain’s statements are going to be, which can extend to anything: politics, sexuality, the Bible, anything that’s just a little too radical. This goes on for a good long time, a protective attitude that is very harmful.”

Twain was especially harsh in his criticism of American involvement in Cuba and the Philippines.

Twain’s opposition to incipient imperialism and American military intervention in Cuba and the Philippines, for example, were well known even in his own time. But the uncensored autobiography makes it clear that those feelings ran very deep and includes remarks that, if made today in the context of Iraq or Afghanistan, would probably lead the right wing to question the patriotism of this most American of American writers.

In a passage removed by Paine, Twain excoriates “the iniquitous Cuban-Spanish War” and Gen. Leonard Wood’s “mephitic record” as governor general in Havana. In writing about an attack on a tribal group in the Philippines, Twain refers to American troops as “our uniformed assassins” and describes their killing of “six hundred helpless and weaponless savages” as “a long and happy picnic with nothing to do but sit in comfort and fire the Golden Rule into those people down there and imagine letters to write home to the admiring families, and pile glory upon glory.”

Oh, the right wing blogosphere would have a field day with Mark Twain today; imagine the rants from Jim Hoft and Ed Morrissey and Andrew Breitbart, and the death threats at Free Republic! I wish Pamela Geller would review the book, but right now she’s too busy writing mash notes to genocidal Serbian war criminals.

UPDATE at 7/11/10 1:48:36 pm:

Here’s a PBS News Hour segment on the new version of Twain’s autobiography.

Youtube Video

(Hat tip: Slumbering Behemoth.)

Jump to bottom

294 comments

1 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:00:20pm

interesting man, with a very dark side…this book will be an instant classic I presume

2 SpaceJesus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:02:14pm

can’t wait to see what else he had to say about religion

3 Political Atheist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:02:48pm

I read James Bradleys Imperial Cruise, which utterly excoriated American policy in the Philippines. And that book addresses early 20th century policy. Twain was right, and ahead of his time.

4 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:04:00pm

re: #3 Rightwingconspirator

I read James Bradleys Imperial Cruise, which utterly excoriated American policy in the Philippines. And that book addresses early 20th century policy. Twain was right, and ahead of his time.

I was just about to say that. Mark Twain was ahead of his time. Pure genius.

5 Ojoe  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:04:13pm

“America has no native criminal class except for Congress.”

— Mark Twain.

This book should be interesting.

6 MandyManners  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:05:03pm
I wish Pamela Geller would review Twain’s autobiography, but right now she’s too busy writing mash notes to genocidal Serbian war criminals:

ROFLMAO!

7 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:06:07pm

Creepy WTF Mark Twain claymation (that he probably would have enjoyed)

8 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:06:27pm

I remember Will Rodfers’ comments on the gunboats the US sent to China to “pretect US interests” in the 30’s:

What if the Chinese sent a gunboat up the Mississippi, they could claim “We’re just protecting our laundries in Memphis”

9 MandyManners  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:07:04pm

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.

10 Crimsonfisted  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:09:13pm

re: #7 Alouette

Creepy YES!

11 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:10:41pm

God, somebody get a goal, I don’t want to sit through overtime…

12 Killgore Trout  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:11:04pm

re: #7 Alouette

Creepy WTF Mark Twain claymation (that he probably would have enjoyed)


[Video]

It’s loosely based on Letters from the Earth which is my personal favorite Twain book. It’s compiled of various unfinished writing. The Diaries of Adam and Eve are hilarious. Highly recommended reading.

13 Political Atheist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:12:04pm

Anyone else here read Imperial Cruise?

14 SanFranciscoZionist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:12:13pm

re: #12 Killgore Trout

It’s loosely based on Letters from the Earth which is my personal favorite Twain book. It’s compiled of various unfinished writing. The Diaries of Adam and Eve are hilarious. Highly recommended reading.

I recall reading that as a teen. Adam’s frustration that Eve keeps finding the kids and he never sees one is charming.

15 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:12:13pm

I think a very scary American literary combination would have been if Mark Twain and Benjamin Franklin could have worked together when both were in their prime…

16 iceweasel  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:12:17pm

“right now she’s too busy writing mash notes to genocidal Serbian war criminals”

Heh. Oh Pammy! Tsk, tsk.

17 Ojoe  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:12:46pm

“A cat is more intelligent than people believe and can be taught any crime.”

— M.T.

18 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:13:14pm

re: #16 iceweasel

“right now she’s too busy writing mash notes to genocidal Serbian war criminals”

Heh. Oh Pammy! Tsk, tsk.


I think she has a built-in affinity for anyone who slaughters Muslims…

19 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:13:23pm

I have to say that if anyone today called our troops “uniformed assassins” I would just question their patriotism; I’d deny it exists.

20 Ojoe  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:13:26pm

re: #11 ralphieboy

Soccer = boring if you ask me.

21 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:13:59pm

re: #20 Ojoe

Soccer = boring if you ask me.

At least it has more direction changes than NASCAR… ;p

22 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:14:22pm

re: #20 Ojoe

Soccer = boring if you ask me.


Yes, it usually is, and this game is lame

23 Ojoe  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:14:39pm

re: #21 oaktree

Not counting some spin outs.

LOL

24 SanFranciscoZionist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:15:01pm

I’ve taught Twain’s “The War Prayer” to my juniors. The ones who get it, really get it.

25 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:15:27pm

re: #23 Ojoe

Not counting some spin outs.

LOL


Do the cars roll over on their backs and grab their fenders?

26 Political Atheist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:15:34pm

re: #19 Dark_Falcon

If our troops were to conduct themselves that way today, I would question the patriotism of their commander and or his CinC. True history is harsh, we have to acknowledge our sins past and present to grow.

27 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:16:28pm

I heard the upcoming book reviewed on PBS I think. He had some choice things to say about Christianity as well—something to the effect of being able to set our fleets of war to sail in the blood shed by the innocent in the name of the religion, except said much more eloquent as Twain was wont to do.

28 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:16:34pm

re: #19 Dark_Falcon

I have to say that if anyone today called our troops “uniformed assassins” I would just question their patriotism; I’d deny it exists.

I think it might depend in the context of how it was stated. If he’s criticizing how they’re being used as compared to how they are behaving then he can be making a criticism that could be held as “patriotic”. Though I think the term has been horribly abused as a way to slander critics of government actions.

29 bratwurst  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:17:01pm

re: #22 ralphieboy

Yes, it usually is, and this game is lame

I assume your TV is equipped with more than one channel. There are hundreds of things on my TV that I might find dull at any given time, but I don’t feel the need to opine on them incessantly.

30 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:18:02pm

re: #29 bratwurst

I assume your TV is equipped with more than one channel. There are hundreds of things on my TV that I might find dull at any given time, but I don’t feel the need to opine on them incessantly.

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON MY CITY GOVERNMENT CHANNEL’S CHOICE OF MUSIC!!!

31 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:18:14pm

re: #29 bratwurst

I assume your TV is equipped with more than one channel. There are hundreds of things on my TV that I might find dull at any given time, but I don’t feel the need to opine on them incessantly.

I only do this every four years. Been in Europe for six World Cups, and still fail to appreciate this sport

32 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:19:35pm

re: #27 BryanS

I heard the upcoming book reviewed on PBS I think. He had some choice things to say about Christianity as well—something to the effect of being able to set our fleets of war to sail in the blood shed by the innocent in the name of the religion, except said much more eloquent as Twain was wont to do.

Found the quote:

33 Ojoe  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:20:08pm

re: #32 BryanS

Yes?

34 iceweasel  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:20:14pm

re: #18 ralphieboy

I think she has a built-in affinity for anyone who slaughters Muslims…

Oh yes. She’s sick.

I was over at her site recently digging through the archives looking for something. (never you mind why just yet, heh).

Trying to navigate her site would make anyone ill, it’s true, but I was rapidly skimming looking for something specific, not reading, and zooming through a lot of posts.
The sheer amount of photos she posts depicting bloodshed and violent imagery were overwhelming. (I rarely take in that much from there in a single sitting, and try to avoid going there)
Something very, very wrong there. She’s clearly fascinated with gruesome violence. Can’t get close enough to it.

She hates Muslims, but the sense I get is that if it weren’t Muslims it would just be someone else.

35 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:20:17pm

re: #31 ralphieboy

I only do this every four years. Been in Europe for six World Cups, and still fail to appreciate this sport

The World Cup is like the Outer Limits… They control the vertical, they control the horizontal, and they are on every channel. NWO!

36 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:20:27pm

re: #32 BryanS

Found the quote:

There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing and predatory as it is — in our country particularly, and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree — it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime — the invention of Hell. Measured by our Christianity of to-day, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the Deity nor His Son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt

for real this time

37 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:20:44pm

re: #27 BryanS

I heard the upcoming book reviewed on PBS I think. He had some choice things to say about Christianity as well—something to the effect of being able to set our fleets of war to sail in the blood shed by the innocent in the name of the religion, except said much more eloquent as Twain was wont to do.

mmm. a time-honored and flawed comment on religion, but really, he had such a way with sarcasm that he could insult every single hair on my body and i’d still be enraptured with the prose…

38 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:21:06pm

re: #33 Ojoe

Yes?

one of those pimf things. must have messed up the quote tag. :)

39 bratwurst  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:21:19pm

re: #31 ralphieboy

I only do this every four years. Been in Europe for six World Cups, and still fail to appreciate this sport

I am going to hold you to this…so I will expect not a peep during the European Championship in two years. ;)

40 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:21:53pm

re: #28 oaktree

I think it might depend in the context of how it was stated. If he’s criticizing how they’re being used as compared to how they are behaving then he can be making a criticism that could be held as “patriotic”. Though I think the term has been horribly abused as a way to slander critics of government actions.

The problem is that too many of the critics have become uninterested in truth and simply willing to use any failing of the American military to advance their own anti-military positions. Mr. Clements was a principled critic, and I think he would have been disgusted to hear John Kerry’s lies about Vietnam or Eason Jordan’s lies about American troops targeting reporters in Iraq. Most of the reason I am so distrustful of criticism of the military is that so much of it is advanced with a partisan ax to grind.

41 Surabaya Stew  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:22:01pm

This seems like the proper place to say this:

My mother loved Mark Twain very much and would have enjoyed his auto-biography enormously. Sadly, she passed away exactly 100 years after he did, this past April 21. Clearing up her stuff and dealing with family (and a broken heart) hasn’t left me with much time to comment here since then.

I’ll gladly read this book in her honor, uniformed assassins be damned!

42 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:22:11pm

re: #37 Aceofwhat?

mmm. a time-honored and flawed comment on religion, but really, he had such a way with sarcasm that he could insult every single hair on my body and i’d still be enraptured with the prose…

It’s not a terribly flawed quote from my perception.

43 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:22:37pm

re: #39 bratwurst

I am going to hold you to this…so I will expect not a peep during the European Championship in two years. ;)


I generally ignore that entirely

44 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:23:35pm

I rather enjoyed this World Cup.
Which is saying something, considering that I generally don’t like sports.

45 HoosierHoops  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:24:06pm

It’s OT at the World Cup…

46 Semper Fi  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:27:38pm

re: #45 HoosierHoops

It’s OT at the World Cup…

Sudden Death OT. Should be interesting.

47 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:28:06pm

re: #40 Dark_Falcon

The problem is that too many of the critics have become uninterested in truth and simply willing to use any failing of the American military to advance their own anti-military positions. Mr. Clements was a principled critic, and I think he would have been disgusted to hear John Kerry’s lies about Vietnam or Eason Jordan’s lies about American troops targeting reporters in Iraq. Most of the reason I am so distrustful of criticism of the military is that so much of it is advanced with a partisan ax to grind.

The first part is essentially a mad-lib in how it describes a lot of the discourse in the media and various forums.

The problem is that too many of the critics have become uninterested in truth and simply willing to use any failing of the American to advance their own anti- positions.

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday - “If you no longer trust does it matter that everyone lies?”

I disagree with the bumper sticker however since a “Trust, but verify” approach helps keep me sane. Though once a source has proven to be a liar and axe grinder any further statements by them become subject to more verify and less trust.

48 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:28:31pm

re: #42 BryanS

It’s not a terribly flawed quote from my perception.

Seems rather like saying that, given how many fights take place over the favor of a woman, that women are responsible for a great deal of violence.

There are societies which use that sort of logic to subjugate women, but i don’t exactly support their reasoning…

49 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:30:24pm

re: #48 Aceofwhat?

Seems rather like saying that, given how many fights take place over the favor of a woman, that women are responsible for a great deal of violence.

There are societies which use that sort of logic to subjugate women, but i don’t exactly support their reasoning…


Goes all the way back to Genesis: Eve as the temptress who led us to fall from grace

50 bratwurst  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:32:34pm

re: #46 Semper Fi

Sudden Death OT. Should be interesting.

Not sudden death. 30 mins no matter what, followed by penalties.

51 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:33:09pm

re: #50 bratwurst

Not sudden death. 30 mins no matter what, followed by penalties.


Those are sudden death: the first team that misses a penalty kick is as good as done for

52 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:33:21pm

re: #49 ralphieboy

Goes all the way back to Genesis: Eve as the temptress who led us to fall from grace

Heh…to which God snorted and replied with “nice try, jackass”.

53 Semper Fi  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:34:46pm

re: #50 bratwurst

Not sudden death. 30 mins no matter what, followed by penalties.

Oh! thanks. After 30 minutes is this where each player, in turn, takes a whack for the goal?

54 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:34:59pm

re: #52 Aceofwhat?

Heh…to which God snorted and replied with “nice try, jackass”.

So why didn’t he send his daughter to save the world from sin?

55 bratwurst  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:35:26pm

re: #51 ralphieboy

Those are sudden death: the first team that misses a penalty kick is as good as done for

Um, no. Play through 5 kicks each THEN it is sudden death.

56 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:36:28pm

re: #48 Aceofwhat?

Seems rather like saying that, given how many fights take place over the favor of a woman, that women are responsible for a great deal of violence.

There are societies which use that sort of logic to subjugate women, but i don’t exactly support their reasoning…

I don’t think that’s what Twain meant or what he said. He was criticism Christianity as being hypocritical and at the same time pointing out how modern Christians already excise some of the bad parts of the bible.

Here’s another quote in the same vain to chew on:

The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same; but the medical practice changes…. The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession — and take the credit of the correction. During many ages there were witches. The Bible said so. the Bible commanded that they should not be allowed to live. Therefore the Church, after eight hundred years, gathered up its halters, thumb-screws, and firebrands, and set about its holy work in earnest. She worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood.
Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One does not know whether to laugh or to cry…. There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain.

57 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:37:11pm

Speaking of literacy and great minds… here’s a “not so much”…

This genius is one of my Facebook acquaintances… I’ve posted his wisdom here before… Get ready to read you some literacy!

With all the info coming forward on our last electian, with voter fraud who really belives the American public could have voted this as- hole to our president. The dems. have all ways been dis honest and will remain so..The DMC also hides so much crapp. If it were a repub. the news and everything would be all over it? why has he still notreleased his birth records. I reallly don’t think he is a american citz.DO YOU?

58 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:37:41pm

re: #54 ralphieboy

She was dating a biker dude. He didn’t approve.

59 Semper Fi  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:38:30pm

Soccer. I can see I’ve much to learn about this game. It will take a little time.

60 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:38:36pm

re: #54 ralphieboy

So why didn’t he send his daughter to save the world from sin?

I’m doubtful that a female rabbi would have been able to have the same impact, given the culture about 2,000 years ago.

61 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:38:42pm

re: #49 ralphieboy

Goes all the way back to Genesis: Eve as the temptress who led us to fall from grace

Yes. Great point! Notice how the most religiously austere communities oppress their women the most. The Adam and Eve story is one example of religion that was used to treat women horribly.

62 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:38:53pm

re: #58 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

She was dating a biker dude. He didn’t approve.


Yes, we never read about the prodigal daughter, do we?

63 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:39:57pm

re: #56 BryanS

I completely agree that modern Christians can often be quite hypocritical. I hate it.

I was talking about the ‘oceans of blood’ bit.

64 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:41:30pm

re: #62 ralphieboy

Yes, we never read about the prodigal daughter, do we?

Well, she showed up knocked up and the old man hid her away…

65 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:41:37pm

re: #63 Aceofwhat?

I completely agree that modern Christians can often be quite hypocritical. I hate it.

I was talking about the ‘oceans of blood’ bit.

What, you don’t think there is one attributable to Christianity? That’s not to say that religion is worse than others. Many others have a lot to answer for.

66 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:42:27pm

re: #61 BryanS

Yes. Great point! Notice how the most religiously austere communities oppress their women the most. The Adam and Eve story is one example of religion that was used to treat women horribly.

now that’s just stupid.

do you have any idea how much more of an object a woman was in non-Jewish communities a few millennia ago?

the Jewish religion is notable for its lack of barbarism. how does anyone read any history at all and arrive at a different perspective?

67 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:42:41pm
Oh, the right wing blogosphere would have a field day with Mark Twain today; imagine the rants from Jim Hoft and Ed Morrissey and Andrew Breitbart, and the death threats at Free Republic!

I am sure they will get down to it soon enough, especially when it comes to excerpts like this one:

“There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing, and predatory. The invention of hell measured by our Christianity of today, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the deity nor his son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilled.”

68 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:44:06pm

re: #67 Slumbering Behemoth

I’m sure they’ll find sufficient quotes to bend it to say whatever they want it to say. There appears to be a lot of expertise in doing that loose these days.

69 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:44:18pm

re: #65 BryanS

What, you don’t think there is one attributable to Christianity? That’s not to say that religion is worse than others. Many others have a lot to answer for.

violence over women is not attributable to women, right? i don’t think it is. do you feel differently?

people fight over soccer. it must be soccer’s fault.

you pickin’ up what i’m layin’ down?

70 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:45:07pm

re: #61 BryanS

Yes. Great point! Notice how the most religiously austere communities oppress their women the most. The Adam and Eve story is one example of religion that was used to treat women horribly.

i’m sorry for saying that was stupid. it was uncalled for, and doesn’t add anything to the discussion.

please forgive me.

71 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:45:49pm

re: #49 ralphieboy

Goes all the way back to Genesis: Eve as the temptress who led us to fall from grace

If only Eve had a sassy gay friend…

72 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:47:20pm

re: #68 oaktree

I’m sure they’ll find sufficient quotes to bend it to say whatever they want it to say. There appears to be a lot of expertise in doing that loose these days.

I think they’ll take the opposite approach and denounce Twain while ripping his autobiography to pieces. I’ll bet you an upding.

73 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:47:21pm

re: #71 Alouette

heh.

i heart Alouette

74 MandyManners  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:47:45pm

I wonder what Twain would say about jihadists.

75 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:48:00pm

re: #66 Aceofwhat?

now that’s just stupid.

do you have any idea how much more of an object a woman was in non-Jewish communities a few millennia ago?

the Jewish religion is notable for its lack of barbarism. how does anyone read any history at all and arrive at a different perspective?

Right! Nobody ever used the story of Adam and Eve to justify treating women as intended to be submissive and the source for corruption of men. That must explain all the prominent women in leadership roles in all the various religious establishments.

76 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:48:24pm

but right now she’s too busy writing mash notes to genocidal Serbian war criminals:


I thought that was going to be by Ariana (What mass graves?) Huffington.

77 Political Atheist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:48:52pm

re: #74 MandyManners

I think he’d pretty much piss everybody off on that one. That was his style.

78 SanFranciscoZionist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:49:04pm

re: #62 ralphieboy

Yes, we never read about the prodigal daughter, do we?

The prodigal daughter normally doesn’t get a second chance.

79 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:49:14pm

re: #72 Slumbering Behemoth

I think they’ll take the opposite approach and denounce Twain while ripping his autobiography to pieces. I’ll bet you an upding.

More than likely. I think Twain has a greater liberal than conservative reputation in any case.

Plus it will take less work to simply tear down.

80 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:50:15pm

re: #74 MandyManners

I wonder what Twain would say about jihadists.

What would you expect from an avowed atheist?

81 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:50:33pm

re: #69 Aceofwhat?

violence over women is not attributable to women, right? i don’t think it is. do you feel differently?

people fight over soccer. it must be soccer’s fault.

you pickin’ up what i’m layin’ down?

Agreed with the bolded part. However that is not historically how the text was read. Many Christians do not treat women the way the Bible suggests. Perhaps the Bible was progressive for its day, but not for this day. Thankfully, as Twain was pointing out, Christianity of today has managed to drop many barbarisms despite their text.

82 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:50:44pm

re: #74 MandyManners

I wonder what Twain would say about jihadists.


Being a liberal apologist, he would chide us for being so intolerant of their religious views


/

83 MandyManners  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:50:46pm

Or, splodey-dopes.

84 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:50:50pm

re: #71 Alouette

“No way!”
“Ya way!”

heh

85 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:51:35pm

re: #74 MandyManners

I wonder what Twain would say about jihadists.

I think he’d describe them as violent, theocratic, killjoys. Their response would be a fatwa calling for his death, after which he’d end up needing round-the-clock protection while his former friends backed away from him to avoid catching death warrants of their own.

86 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:52:39pm

re: #75 BryanS

Right! Nobody ever used the story of Adam and Eve to justify treating women as intended to be submissive and the source for corruption of men. That must explain all the prominent women in leadership roles in all the various religious establishments.

People use ___ to justify ___. That is no kind of argument.

What was the actual impact of the Jewish religion on history? IMHO, it was a wholly underestimated force for good.

87 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:53:00pm

re: #80 Naso Tang

What would you expect from an avowed atheist?

Nothing but the sharpest wit. I’d love it for Twain to be around to comment on the Muslim problem today. I have a feeling he’d earn himself a fatwa or two.

88 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:53:42pm

re: #85 Dark_Falcon

I think he’d describe them as violent, theocratic, killjoys. Their response would be a fatwa calling for his death, after which he’d end up needing round-the-clock protection while his former friends backed away from him to avoid catching death warrants of their own.

Or he’d compare them favorably to southern newspaper editors (or Congressmen) stating that at least they appeared to believe in the principles they espoused as compared to said editors/politicians.

Which would be essentially a case of damning via faint praise.

89 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:53:56pm

Twain’s famed “Concerning the Jews”

[Link: classiclit.about.com…]

90 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:54:11pm

re: #81 BryanS

Agreed with the bolded part. However that is not historically how the text was read. Many Christians do not treat women the way the Bible suggests. Perhaps the Bible was progressive for its day, but not for this day. Thankfully, as Twain was pointing out, Christianity of today has managed to drop many barbarisms despite their text.


At some point, most Christians stopped viewing the Bible as the literal and unchangeable Word of God and started seeing it as the work of human beings, one which arose in a particular social and historical context.

Which does not necessarily make it less inspired or less valid as a religious message, but it does make it possible to see things in a modern light.

This is a tendency that is starting to slip in Christianity, and one which has hardly developed at all in Islam.

91 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:54:25pm

re: #78 SanFranciscoZionist

The prodigal daughter normally doesn’t get a second chance.

Nope, but that gets back to how women are seen compared to men. When young men act dissolutely for a time, it’s called “sowing wild oats”. When young women do the same thing, they get branded as “sluts” and that label sticks to them.

92 Steffan  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:54:39pm

re: #26 Rightwingconspirator

If our troops were to conduct themselves that way today, I would question the patriotism of their commander and or his CinC. True history is harsh, we have to acknowledge our sins past and present to grow.

Absolutely.

True history can be a real bitch when you’ve been fed a Bowdlerized version of it all your life. Of course, the other problem is when it becomes politically correct to emphasize the bad and ignore the good, as has been the trend lately toward the Dead White Guys who wrote and adopted the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

I expect the pendulum to start swinging back any time now, but hopefully they won’t go back to the sanitized version I learned in the early ’60s. Yes, we need to know about their warts, but we also need to know about the good that they did….

93 HoosierHoops  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:55:52pm

Oh Crap! Spain Scores!

94 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:56:07pm

Spain ahead and the Dutch are down one man…

95 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:56:32pm

Goal Spain!

96 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:56:33pm

re: #86 Aceofwhat?

People use ___ to justify ___. That is no kind of argument.

What was the actual impact of the Jewish religion on history? IMHO, it was a wholly underestimated force for good.

Jews haven’t been in a position since biblical times to use their religion to destroy many lives—that baton was picked up by Christianity and Islam. However we can read of the boastful history of genocide in the bible done by Jews in the quest for their god given promised land.

97 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:57:17pm

re: #95 Nimed

Goal Spain!

¡Viva España!

98 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:57:27pm

re: #81 BryanS

Agreed with the bolded part. However that is not historically how the text was read. Many Christians do not treat women the way the Bible suggests. Perhaps the Bible was progressive for its day, but not for this day. Thankfully, as Twain was pointing out, Christianity of today has managed to drop many barbarisms despite their text.

but if you agree with my bolded part, then it becomes very difficult to say that EVERY war fought in the name of religion is the fault of religion.

99 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:57:37pm

re: #91 Dark_Falcon

Nope, but that gets back to how women are seen compared to men. When young men act dissolutely for a time, it’s called “sowing wild oats”. When young women do the same thing, they get branded as “sluts” and that label sticks to them.


Men’s “wild oats” generally don’t come home with daddy to live with their grandparents…

100 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:58:02pm

re: #96 BryanS

Jews haven’t been in a position since biblical times to use their religion to destroy many lives—that baton was picked up by Christianity and Islam. However we can read of the boastful history of genocide in the bible done by Jews in the quest for their god given promised land.

Where is the evidence for genocide other than that “book of fairy tales” the Bible?

101 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:58:44pm

re: #90 ralphieboy

At some point, most Christians stopped viewing the Bible as the literal and unchangeable Word of God and started seeing it as the work of human beings, one which arose in a particular social and historical context.

Which does not necessarily make it less inspired or less valid as a religious message, but it does make it possible to see things in a modern light.

This is a tendency that is starting to slip in Christianity, and one which has hardly developed at all in Islam.

The more flexible a religion is, the better. Jews and Christians have developed more flexibility than Muslims, for sure.

At some point, though, when does it make sense to just drop the whole thing when it is clear the foundational text is so far from the truth or what is good for society?

102 SanFranciscoZionist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:58:48pm

re: #85 Dark_Falcon

I think he’d describe them as violent, theocratic, killjoys. Their response would be a fatwa calling for his death, after which he’d end up needing round-the-clock protection while his former friends backed away from him to avoid catching death warrants of their own.

Dubious. Such has not been the fate of people who’ve said a whole lot worse. Have fatwas ever been issued for the death of a non-Muslim writer who was critical of Islam?

103 Reginald Perrin  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:59:26pm

GOAL!

Spain leading 1 zip

104 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 1:59:27pm

re: #102 SanFranciscoZionist

Dubious. Such has not been the fate of people who’ve said a whole lot worse. Have fatwas ever been issued for the death of a non-Muslim writer who was critical of Islam?

Matt Stone and Trey Parker?

105 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:00:01pm

re: #93 HoosierHoops

Oh Crap! Spain Scores!

Netherlands is a cursed country. 3rd World Cup final, and it’s looking like it’s not going to be the one.

106 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:00:22pm

re: #99 ralphieboy

Men’s “wild oats” generally don’t come home with daddy to live with their grandparents…

That’s very true. But that particular issue simply is what it is. The differences between the sexes simply cut against women in such matters, and some the resulting problems cannot be solved.

107 SanFranciscoZionist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:00:41pm

re: #104 Alouette

Matt Stone and Trey Parker?

Visual artists seem to fare worse. But it’s not calling Muslims violent or theocratic that gets you there, it’s perceived mockery of Islam’s prophet.

108 Political Atheist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:00:46pm

re: #92 Steffan

Well we can call for the fact checks and keep busting fauxtography while we wait. The wait may be long. Heh. But we have fresh news daily. Follow the examples set here by our host and recently Kilgore. And several more on the spill. In The Pages. The call for reality checks comes from the literal and philosophical independents. Lots of those among our 36 users in the thread.

109 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:00:57pm

re: #104 Alouette

Matt Stone and Trey Parker?


Technically speaking, not a fatwa, just a death threat…

110 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:01:24pm

re: #51 ralphieboy

Those are sudden death: the first team that misses a penalty kick is as good as done for

Man, always listen to bratwurst. He knows best.

111 Reginald Perrin  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:01:38pm

re: #105 Nimed

The octopus called another one, the Netherlands didn’t stand a chance.
/

112 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:02:11pm

re: #98 Aceofwhat?

but if you agree with my bolded part, then it becomes very difficult to say that EVERY war fought in the name of religion is the fault of religion.

Every war fought for the purpose of advancing a religious cause most certainly is the fault of that religion. Other causes often mix in and overtake the role of being the primary motivation for the war. But religion more than anything else helps define the other and makes reconciliation impossible, or at least much more difficult.

113 Skeetghazi  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:02:44pm

re: #111 Reginald Perrin

The octopus called another one, the Netherlands didn’t stand a chance.
/

In honor of Paul the Pulpo’s selection of Spain!

[Link: littlegreenfootballs.com…]

114 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:03:07pm

re: #111 Reginald Perrin

The octopus called another one, the Netherlands didn’t stand a chance.
/

What’s that, the Dutch version of the Curse of the Goat?

115 SixDegrees  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:04:25pm

re: #61 BryanS

Yes. Great point! Notice how the most religiously austere communities oppress their women the most. The Adam and Eve story is one example of religion that was used to treat women horribly.

re: #49 ralphieboy

Goes all the way back to Genesis: Eve as the temptress who led us to fall from grace

Actually, you might be interested in various Gnostic views on this matter. Some of them held that God was female, or equal parts male and female, among other interesting beliefs.

Check out anything by Elaine Pagels at Amazon. The Gnostic Gospels is a good place to start.

116 HoosierHoops  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:04:25pm

Congrads to Spain for being World Champions

117 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:04:32pm

re: #107 SanFranciscoZionist

Visual artists seem to fare worse. But it’s not calling Muslims violent or theocratic that gets you there, it’s perceived mockery of Islam’s prophet.

So nobody is allowed to mock the prophet unless they are prepared to be killed? That’s ok with you?

118 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:04:59pm

re: #101 BryanS

At some point, though, when does it make sense to just drop the whole thing when it is clear the foundational text is so far from the truth or what is good for society?

I find the foundational text to be far better for society than anything an atheist has been able to dream up.

119 Reginald Perrin  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:05:11pm

re: #113 Stanley Sea

Where I come from there is a different use for octopi, they throw them on the ice during Red Wing playoff games.

120 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:05:22pm

re: #100 Alouette

Where is the evidence for genocide other than that “book of fairy tales” the Bible?

You think the bible’s endorsement of genocide is ok?

121 Sol Berdinowitz  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:05:47pm

re: #115 SixDegrees

Actually, you might be interested in various Gnostic views on this matter. Some of them held that God was female, or equal parts male and female, among other interesting beliefs.

./blockquote>

ever wonder why those Gnostic texts were so brutally suppressed by the early church?

122 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:06:23pm

re: #117 BryanS

So nobody is allowed to mock the prophet unless they are prepared to be killed? That’s ok with you?

That not what she said. She was describing what sets those assholes off. Simply stating what causes them to attack is not the same thing as being OK with it.

123 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:06:43pm

re: #85 Dark_Falcon

I think he’d describe them as violent, theocratic, killjoys. Their response would be a fatwa calling for his death, after which he’d end up needing round-the-clock protection while his former friends backed away from him to avoid catching death warrants of their own.

Heh, somehow Twain doesn’t strike me as the kinda guy who’d welcome round-the-clock protection. I wonder what he would’ve thought about the internet…

124 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:07:06pm

re: #112 BryanS

Every war fought for the purpose of advancing a religious cause most certainly is the fault of that religion.

Alrighty. Then every fight for the purposes of advancing one’s soccer team is soccer’s fault. Every fight for the purposes of impressing a woman is the woman’s fault.

See? It’s a little silly.

125 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:07:16pm

BBIAB

126 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:07:39pm

re: #101 BryanS

The more flexible a religion is, the better.

Too much flexibility and what you have is Deism.

127 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:07:39pm

re: #120 BryanS

You think the bible’s endorsement of genocide is ok?

According to the Bible, the Jews sucked at committing genocide.

128 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:07:54pm

re: #115 SixDegrees

Actually, you might be interested in various Gnostic views on this matter. Some of them held that God was female, or equal parts male and female, among other interesting beliefs.

Check out anything by Elaine Pagels at Amazon. The Gnostic Gospels is a good place to start.

If only the early church adopted a female god. Sometimes when I can see the spittle between the written lines on blogs, I’ll mock the other person by referring to god with female gendered pronouns. You may or may not be surprised how often that REALLY pisses the extremist off.

129 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:08:54pm

re: #120 BryanS

You think the bible’s endorsement of genocide is ok?

Only if it is authorized by God./

130 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:09:01pm

re: #104 Alouette

Matt Stone and Trey Parker?

They cartoonists?

131 abolitionist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:09:11pm

re: #60 Aceofwhat?

I’m doubtful that a female rabbi would have been able to have the same impact, given the culture about 2,000 years ago.

That would have been about the time Cleopatra was trying to preserve the Egyptian empire via alliances with a couple Romans, right?

/Ok, I’ll concede that was likely not the culture you had in mind —altho a rabbi reportedly took refuge there while growing to manhood.

132 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:09:18pm

re: #117 BryanS

So nobody is allowed to mock the prophet unless they are prepared to be killed? That’s ok with you?

Right now, I’m much more hesitant to mock Paul the Octopus.

133 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:09:20pm

re: #130 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

The cartoonists?

134 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:09:44pm

re: #126 Naso Tang

Too much flexibility and what you have is Deism.

That ain’t a bad thing. There haven’t been man fights in the name of deism. Many of our nations founders were deists .

135 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:09:58pm

This would be fun, but luckily I am out to dinner; before I get myself in trouble.

:)

Peace.

136 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:10:31pm

I really wish Ludwig was here.

137 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:10:41pm

re: #130 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

They cartoonists?

South Park. So yes, it appears cartoons are the biggest threat facing Islam these days /

138 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:10:48pm

re: #134 BryanS

That ain’t a bad thing. There haven’t been man fights in the name of deism. Many of our nations founders were deists .

For the record, I have no trouble with Theism either, depending on the person.

139 ryannon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:10:52pm

re: #89 albusteve

Twain’s famed “Concerning the Jews”

[Link: classiclit.about.com…]

“I have no special regard for Satan; but I can at least claim that I have no prejudice against him. It may even be that I lean a little his way, on account of his not having a fair show. All religions issue bibles against him, and say the most injurious things about him, but we never hear his side. We have none but the evidence for the prosecution, and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English; it is un-American; it is French. Without this precedent Dreyfus could not have been condemned. Of course Satan has some kind of a case, it goes without saying. It may be a poor one, but that is nothing; that can be said about any of us.”

Excellent.

140 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:11:00pm

re: #131 abolitionist

well played;)

141 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:12:18pm

re: #117 BryanS

So nobody is allowed to mock the prophet unless they are prepared to be killed? That’s ok with you?

Mohammed and Jesus sitting in a tree.
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

142 SixDegrees  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:12:19pm

re: #121 ralphieboy

They were doomed to failure no matter what. Although it isn’t correct to speak of “the Gnostics” - a wide variety of beliefs sharing a non-orthodox view of the New Testament tends to get lumped into one great pile, although many of the adherents were quite distinct in their own time - a lot of those now classified as Gnostics believed in self-enlightenment and disdained the organized hierarchy other groups assembled. Given their organizational structure alone - highly organized versus barely organized - the group with the most detailed org chart is bound to prevail in the end.

Mostly, the “oppression” didn’t really get rolling until a few centuries into the Christian era, when nearly all of the “alternative” sects had mostly vanished of their own accord.

Ibid.

143 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:14:50pm

re: #137 BryanS

That was a typo. Meant to type, “The Cartoonists”. Meaning the people who drew Muhammad.

144 Political Atheist  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:15:03pm

re: #138 Naso Tang

For the record, I have no trouble with Theism either, depending on the person.


The person literally makes All The Difference. What would explain the killers and abusers of every religion-Straight in the face of the majority, the decent in all of those same religions?

145 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:15:26pm

re: #134 BryanS

That ain’t a bad thing. There haven’t been man fights in the name of deism. Many of our nations founders were deists .

Again, blaming ___ on a dude’s actions taken because of ___ leads millions to clothe women in blankets and forbid them to drive, lest they drive men to lust and violence.

It’s a slippery slope and you’re trying to climb it in wingtips…

146 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:16:10pm

re: #143 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

That was a typo. Meant to type, “The Cartoonists”. Meaning the people who drew Muhammad.

And not necessarily Trey and Matt.

147 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:17:38pm

re: #134 BryanS

That ain’t a bad thing. There haven’t been man fights in the name of deism. Many of our nations founders were deists .

You loove discussion about religion.

148 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:17:54pm

re: #122 Dark_Falcon

That not what she said. She was describing what sets those assholes off. Simply stating what causes them to attack is not the same thing as being OK with it.

I know SFZ doesn’t endorse violence when someone insults a religion. I am wondering if SFZ thinks the person mocking the faith should have self censored out of respect to the faith. I think religion should be just as subject to criticism and ridicule as any other belief. Why should religious beliefs be treated as special and unassailable?

149 SixDegrees  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:19:05pm

re: #128 BryanS

If only the early church adopted a female god.

Impossible to say how that might have worked out. Joan of Arc, for example, was hardly a pacifist. And veneration of Mary, although not part of official Catholic doctrine, has been widely practiced across the Catholic world for many, many centuries, yet it hasn’t had much of a tempering effect when the time for some of the more unpleasant Crusades and the Church’s adventures in South America came about. Although the latter also involved Protestants; not sure what their stance on Mary is.

150 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:21:19pm

re: #148 BryanS

I know SFZ doesn’t endorse violence when someone insults a religion. I am wondering if SFZ thinks the person mocking the faith should have self censored out of respect to the faith. I think religion should be just as subject to criticism and ridicule as any other belief. Why should religious beliefs be treated as special and unassailable?

They shouldn’t be. Atheists can be touchy, too, though. It’s not the religion. It’s the human condition…although i’ll second the notion that the human condition seems to be overly afflicting the Muslim world these days…

151 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:22:04pm

re: #145 Aceofwhat?

Again, blaming ___ on a dude’s actions taken because of ___ leads millions to clothe women in blankets and forbid them to drive, lest they drive men to lust and violence.

It’s a slippery slope and you’re trying to climb it in wingtips…

It depend on what you mean by “in the name of”. You are using that to mean fighting because of anger/frustration to losing out to another group/individual. That is a silly distortion of the argument.

Jihadis blow themselves up with the purpose of attempting to make everyone believe as they do—convert or die is their message. The fights over soccer are not intended to force everyone to convert to support the same team or be put to death.

152 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:22:51pm

re: #150 Aceofwhat?

They shouldn’t be. Atheists can be touchy, too, though. It’s not the religion. It’s the human condition…although i’ll second the notion that the human condition seems to be overly afflicting the Muslim world these days…

YOU HURTED MAH FEEELINGS!!!

153 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:23:03pm

re: #61 BryanS

Yes. Great point! Notice how the most religiously austere communities oppress their women the most. The Adam and Eve story is one example of religion that was used to treat women horribly.

Well, you may look at it as a rib of Adam offering an apple to the rest of Adam.

Acids will help you on this.

154 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:23:11pm

re: #149 SixDegrees

Although the latter also involved Protestants; not sure what their stance on Mary is.

Worthy of respect, but not divinity. I believe that Jesus would have been explicit about her divinity if he had intended us to get that message.

155 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:23:20pm

re: #152 Varek Raith

YOU HURTED MAH FEEELINGS!!!

Their lack of faith in your lack of faith disturbs you?

156 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:23:34pm

Who won the footie game?

157 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:23:43pm

re: #152 Varek Raith

YOU HURTED MAH FEEELINGS!!!

Let’s shoot something with turbolasers…i find it very cathartic…

158 Feline Fearless Leader  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:23:51pm

re: #156 Bagua

Who won the footie game?

Spain 1-0.

159 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:23:52pm

re: #155 oaktree

Their lack of faith in your lack of faith disturbs you?

No.
Yes.
Maybe…
*Force Storm*
I win.

160 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:24:38pm

re: #157 Aceofwhat?

Let’s shoot something with turbolasers…i find it very cathartic…

Ohh, I still have some Ewoks in a zoo…

161 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:25:06pm

re: #158 oaktree

Spain 1-0.

Yes! (Bagua hates the Dutch*)


* not real reason, just bigotry.

162 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:25:22pm

re: #151 BryanS

The fights over soccer are not intended to force everyone to convert to support the same team or be put to death.

Horse poopy. Sports fights are “my team is better than yours, admit it”.

How in the name of Gaea is that different than “my religion is better than yours, admit it” or “my woman is better than yours, admit it”?

163 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:25:38pm

re: #156 Bagua

Who won the footie game?

The guys who make a spectacle out of killing cattle.

164 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:25:38pm

re: #161 Bagua

Yes! (Bagua hates the Dutch*)

* not real reason, just bigotry.

Hack their twitter account!

165 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:26:07pm

re: #153 Nimed

Well, you may look at it as a rib of Adam offering an apple to the rest of Adam.

Acids will help you on this.

puff, puff, GIVE

166 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:26:21pm

re: #164 Varek Raith

Hack their twitter account!

Great idea. I’m on it like white on rice.

167 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:27:24pm

re: #163 Nimed

The guys who make a spectacle out of killing cattle.

lol, and occasionally give the cattle a shot at them by herding them down narrow alleys…

168 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:27:25pm

re: #162 Aceofwhat?

Horse poopy. Sports fights are “my team is better than yours, admit it”.

How in the name of Gaea is that different than “my religion is better than yours, admit it” or “my woman is better than yours, admit it”?

you’re joking, right?

169 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:28:00pm

Fuck Spain.

170 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:28:11pm

re: #134 BryanS

That ain’t a bad thing. There haven’t been man fights in the name of deism. Many of our nations founders were deists .

On reflection, I think it is worth remembering that in those days, and all those before, given what was not known about the state of the universe, Deism was the most logical explanation possible.

171 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:28:27pm

re: #168 albusteve

you’re joking, right?

spoken like someone who’s never been to an Ohio State - Michigan game…

172 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:28:38pm

re: #162 Aceofwhat?

Horse poopy. Sports fights are “my team is better than yours, admit it”.

How in the name of Gaea is that different than “my religion is better than yours, admit it” or “my woman is better than yours, admit it”?

Very different. Wars do not go on for generations over sports teams or over a female.

173 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:28:48pm

re: #168 albusteve

you’re joking, right?

COWBOYS SUCK!
;)

174 BryanS  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:29:18pm

re: #170 Naso Tang

On reflection, I think it is worth remembering that in those days, and all those before, given what was not known about the state of the universe, Deism was the most logical explanation possible.

It indeed was.

175 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:29:50pm

re: #163 Nimed

The guys who make a spectacle out of killing cattle.

Larf. If there ever was a daft pursuit it is running about in the streets with a bunch of cows chasing you.

I have a close friend from Spain who just loves it, and has given me video of “running the bulls” (or some such, an annual event.) I took a look and said, “What a bunch of idiots, in America, it’s the people who chase the cows, not the other way around.” He was mad at me for a week.

176 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:30:27pm

re: #171 Aceofwhat?

spoken like someone who’s never been to an Ohio State - Michigan game…

I have…sports fights are usually the final expression of bravado, or in OSUs case, a severe inferiority complex

177 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:31:03pm

re: #172 BryanS

Very different. Wars do not go on for generations over sports teams or over a female.

Oh. So if it goes on for a generation, it’s the fault of the purported excuse for the war. If it doesn’t last as long, the excuse is a poor pretext.

Forgive my skepticism, but that feels…arbitrary.

Mind you, i’m not saying that there are NO wars that we can lay at the foot of Religion. I’m just saying that it’s not a philosophical exercise that we do with clarity, for the most part.

178 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:31:28pm

re: #173 Varek Raith

COWBOYS SUCK!
;)

according to scientific research, you are an Eagles fan

179 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:31:55pm

re: #178 albusteve

according to scientific research, you are an Eagles fan

Actually, I don’t like football!
:)

180 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:32:00pm

re: #175 Bagua

Larf. If there ever was a daft pursuit it is running about in the streets with a bunch of cows chasing you.

I have a close friend from Spain who just loves it, and has given me video of “running the bulls” (or some such, an annual event.) I took a look and said, “What a bunch of idiots, in America, it’s the people who chase the cows, not the other way around.” He was mad at me for a week.

When I was first married, I asked Zedushka “what was the craziest thing you ever did?”

He said, “I was tremping [hitchhiking] around Europe, and I was in Pamplona for the Running of the Bulls”

Then he asked me “what’s the craziest thing you ever did?”

I said, “I got married to you.”

181 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:32:18pm

re: #177 Aceofwhat?

Oh. So if it goes on for a generation, it’s the fault of the purported excuse for the war. If it doesn’t last as long, the excuse is a poor pretext.

Forgive my skepticism, but that feels…arbitrary.

Mind you, i’m not saying that there are NO wars that we can lay at the foot of Religion. I’m just saying that it’s not a philosophical exercise that we do with clarity, for the most part.

ATI vs Nvidia.
‘Nuff said.

182 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:32:21pm

re: #176 albusteve

I have…sports fights are usually the final expression of bravado, or in OSUs case, a severe inferiority complex

“inferiority complex” = synonym for what i said. thanks!

183 SixDegrees  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:32:23pm

re: #162 Aceofwhat?

Horse poopy. Sports fights are “my team is better than yours, admit it”.

How in the name of Gaea is that different than “my religion is better than yours, admit it” or “my woman is better than yours, admit it”?

Well, for one thing ALL sports riots have alcohol in common with one another. This isn’t nearly so universal when it comes to religious or relationship fights.

Wanna stop sports violence? Stop selling alcohol at sporting events, and turn away the obviously inebriated. Of course, such attempts might cause riots of their own…

184 Reginald Perrin  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:32:38pm

re: #162 Aceofwhat?

Horse poopy. Sports fights are “my team is better than yours, admit it”.

From the brawls in the stands at the old Olympia that occurred when the Leafs or Canadians were visiting Detroit, it would appear that most of them were the results of copious amounts of alcohol being consumed. At least for the ones that where I may have played a small role.

185 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:34:24pm

re: #179 Varek Raith

Actually, I don’t like football!
:)

that makes you even lower than an Eagles fan….repent now and save yourself

186 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:35:24pm

re: #182 Aceofwhat?

“inferiority complex” = synonym for what i said. thanks!

no problem?

187 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:35:39pm

Afternoon, evening lizards!

re: #102 SanFranciscoZionist

Dubious. Such has not been the fate of people who’ve said a whole lot worse. Have fatwas ever been issued for the death of a non-Muslim writer who was critical of Islam?

I don’t think Salmon Rushdie was a Muslim. He’s still in hiding, no?

188 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:35:44pm

Spain rules!

Number one world champions! Winner of the World Cup 2010! Domination!

No the Netherland team will have to return home and carve themselves a news pair of wooden shoes.

¡Viva España!

Image: viva-espana_44435.jpg

189 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:35:59pm

re: #183 SixDegrees

Well, for one thing ALL sports riots have alcohol in common with one another. This isn’t nearly so universal when it comes to religious or relationship fights.

Wanna stop sports violence? Stop selling alcohol at sporting events, and turn away the obviously inebriated. Of course, such attempts might cause riots of their own…

I recall reading about all the football riots around the continent one year. One good riot after another. Then they hit a game in Amsterdam, everything was chill. Snicker.

190 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:36:18pm

re: #188 Gus 802

Spain rules!

Number one world champions! Winner of the World Cup 2010! Domination!

No Now the Netherland team will have to return home and carve themselves a news pair of wooden shoes.

¡Viva España!

Image: viva-espana_44435.jpg

Woops.

191 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:36:50pm

re: #179 Varek Raith

Actually, I don’t like football!
:)

That does it. We’re kicking you out of the country! Get him!

192 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:37:18pm

re: #183 SixDegrees

re: #184 Reginald Perrin

nice work, gents.

so, then, given that you can blame alcohol for some things but don’t waste time exaggerating its negative impact on history and still find it enjoyable when practiced in moderation, i’ll accept your concession that we can at least say the same for religion.

193 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:37:54pm

re: #185 albusteve

that makes you even lower than an Eagles fan…repent now and save yourself

re: #191 Slumbering Behemoth

That does it. We’re kicking you out of the country! Get him!

Muahahaha!

194 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:38:27pm

re: #187 marjoriemoon

Afternoon, evening lizards!

I don’t think Salmon Rushdie was a Muslim. He’s still in hiding, no?

i think he was a MINO/

195 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:39:53pm

re: #193 Varek Raith

Truthfully, I don’t really care much for football either.

But of course I wouldn’t, I’m a Raiders fan.

196 Jimmah  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:40:18pm

This creationist has hit on a sure fire way of adding credibility to his youtube rants - helium!

197 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:40:50pm

PROOF OF THE SPIRIT


NOW IN SEIZURE-VISION 9000®

198 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:41:07pm

re: #195 Slumbering Behemoth

Truthfully, I don’t really care much for football either.

But of course I wouldn’t, I’m a Raiders fan.

“JaMarcus Russell is a great quarterback.”

-Al Davis

199 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:41:17pm

re: #195 Slumbering Behemoth

Truthfully, I don’t really care much for football either.

But of course I wouldn’t, I’m a Raiders fan.

they are the best plastic spiked techno monsters…no small thing

200 Skeetghazi  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:41:18pm

I’ve got to run, but just wanted to post this tweet I just saw:

Paul the octopus to replace @fivethirtyeight in lead up to the midterms

Great afternoon to everyone!

201 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:41:54pm

re: #198 Aceofwhat?

“JaMarcus Russell is a great quarterback.”

-Al Davis

Al was never a raiders fan….obviously

202 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:42:21pm

re: #188 Gus 802

Spain rules!

Number one world champions! Winner of the World Cup 2010! Domination!

No the Netherland team will have to return home and carve themselves a news pair of wooden shoes.

¡Viva España!

Image: viva-espana_44435.jpg

Y que golazo, tio.

203 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:42:26pm

re: #187 marjoriemoon

Afternoon, evening lizards!

I don’t think Salmon Rushdie was a Muslim. He’s still in hiding, no?

I don’t think he was a salmon.

204 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:42:34pm

re: #195 Slumbering Behemoth

Truthfully, I don’t really care much for football either.

But of course I wouldn’t, I’m a Raiders fan.

Courtesy of George Carlin:


In football, I root for the Oakland Raiders because they hire castoffs, outlaws, malcontenets, and fuckups, they have lots of penalties, fights, and paybacks, and because Al Davis told the rest of the pig NFL owners to go get fucked. Also, they don’t have a lot of Christians kneeling down to pray after touchdowns. Christians are ruining sports. Someday, the Raiders will be strong again, and they will dip the ball in shit and shove it down the throats of the wholesome, white, heartland teams that pray together and don’t deliver late hits.
205 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:42:49pm

re: #203 Bagua

I don’t think he was a salmon.

something fishy there

206 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:43:26pm

re: #203 Bagua

I don’t think he was a salmon.

Eep, my apologies. Salman Rushdie.

207 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:43:56pm

re: #202 Nimed

Y que golazo, tio.

[Video]

Sonic boom! The carrots couldn’t stand a chance.

208 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:44:04pm

re: #203 Bagua

I don’t think he was a salmon.

His real name is Sal Bass.

209 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:44:28pm

re: #205 albusteve

something fishy there

Maybe, but carping about it won’t help.

210 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:45:18pm

re: #208 marjoriemoon

His real name is Sal Bass.

short for Bassenberg….little known fact

211 Jimmah  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:45:41pm

re: #188 Gus 802

Spain rules!

Number one world champions! Winner of the World Cup 2010! Domination!

No the Netherland team will have to return home and carve themselves a news pair of wooden shoes.

¡Viva España!

Image: viva-espana_44435.jpg

I supported the Netherlands but they were the better side, no doubt. Well done Spain!

(damn that octopus)

212 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:46:51pm

Just an observation. I would love to know the statistics on “pun thread subjects”. I would bet that at least 75% of them are fish pun threads.

213 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:46:53pm

re: #210 albusteve

short for Bassenberg…little known fact

(Bad Seinfeld reference… I’m battin 1000 here.)

214 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:47:29pm

re: #212 Slumbering Behemoth

Just an observation. I would love to know the statistics on “pun thread subjects”. I would bet that at least 75% of them are fish pun threads.

I don’t think that claim holds water.

215 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:47:31pm

re: #187 marjoriemoon

Afternoon, evening lizards!

I don’t think Salmon Rushdie was a Muslim. He’s still in hiding, no?

Good afternoon!

I think Ace was right about the MINO part (heh). Salman is a Muslim name, and his father’s name is Muslim as well as that of at least one of his sons.

216 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:48:09pm

This connects Rushdie with the Mohamed cartoons.

It’s the origin of the phrase “There’s something fishy in Denmark.”

217 Jimmah  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:48:17pm

re: #197 WindUpBird

PROOF OF THE SPIRIT


[Video]
NOW IN SEIZURE-VISION 9000®

Hee. Since it’s Sunday - here’s some more of the Spirit in action, seen here mixing up a storm on the drum and bass scene :

218 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:48:19pm

re: #214 marjoriemoon

I don’t think that claim holds water.

casting about for an argument

219 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:48:22pm

re: #215 CuriousLurker

Good afternoon!

I think Ace was right about the MINO part (heh). Salman is a Muslim name, and his father’s name is Muslim as well as that of at least one of his sons.

Ah, he’s Indian, no? I guess I assumed Buddhist or Hindu.

220 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:48:56pm

re: #211 Jimmah

I supported the Netherlands but they were the better side, no doubt. Well done Spain!

(damn that octopus)

Not really a soccer (football) fan but seeing Spain win is nice since it’s blood (grandparents are from Spain).

221 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:49:34pm

re: #215 CuriousLurker

Good afternoon!

I think Ace was right about the MINO part (heh). Salman is a Muslim name, and his father’s name is Muslim as well as that of at least one of his sons.

They wouldn’t call him an apostate if he hadn’t been believed Muslim.

222 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:50:23pm

re: #218 albusteve

casting about for an argument

Naw, I’m not a barracuda. Just floundering around for something to say.

223 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:51:00pm

re: #214 marjoriemoon

I don’t think that claim holds water.

You’d better clam up, if you know what’s good for you.

224 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:51:24pm

re: #212 Slumbering Behemoth

Just an observation. I would love to know the statistics on “pun thread subjects”. I would bet that at least 75% of them are fish pun threads.

Gee, thanks SB.
See what you started?!

225 PhillyPretzel  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:51:59pm

re: #216 Bagua
[Link: www.enotes.com…]

226 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:52:48pm

re: #223 Slumbering Behemoth

You’d better clam up, if you know what’s good for you.

lol Ok, ok, I don’t want to start a feeding frenzy.

227 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:54:00pm

re: #224 Varek Raith

It was a fine tradition long before I got here. Can you blame me for getting hooked?

228 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:55:19pm
229 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:55:38pm

re: #227 Slumbering Behemoth

It was a fine tradition long before I got here. Can you blame me for getting hooked?

Being a newbie, you swallowed it hook, line and sinker.

230 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:56:48pm

re: #228 Slumbering Behemoth

Hey!

Synodontidae

Now there’s a sock name for ya.

231 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:57:03pm

re: #228 Slumbering Behemoth

Lizard Fish

232 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:58:19pm

re: #229 Bagua

I’m still a newbie? Dang.

233 Jimmah  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:58:45pm

re: #215 CuriousLurker

Good afternoon!

I think Ace was right about the MINO part (heh). Salman is a Muslim name, and his father’s name is Muslim as well as that of at least one of his sons.

He was brought up as a muslim but says he never really believed it. He said he had renewed his faith in 1990 , but later admitted that was a ploy to get some of the heat off him from the fatwa crowd.

234 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:58:48pm

re: #220 Gus 802

Not really a soccer (football) fan but seeing Spain win is nice since it’s blood (grandparents are from Spain).

Our ancestors once divided the New World among themselves. Good times…

Image: File:Spanish_Empire_Anachronous_0.PNG
Image: File:The_Portuguese_Empire.png

This is what the world looked like at the time:
Image: 800px-CantinoPlanisphere.png

Of course, at that time the Brits, the French, the Dutch and the proto-Italians hadn’t joined the party yet.

235 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:58:54pm

re: #219 marjoriemoon

Ah, he’s Indian, no? I guess I assumed Buddhist or Hindu.

Yep, he’s Indian. India has a sizable Muslim population.

Hindu 80.5%, Muslim 13.4%, Christian 2.3%, Sikh 1.9%, other 1.8%, unspecified 0.1% (2001 census)

With a population of well over a billion people, that’s a lot of Muslims.

236 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:59:14pm

re: #232 Slumbering Behemoth

I’m still a newbie? Dang.

Don’t listen to Bagua. He’s trying to reel you in for the catch.

237 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 2:59:22pm

re: #217 Jimmah

My God, they invented raves

238 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:00:02pm

re: #221 Bagua

They wouldn’t call him an apostate if he hadn’t been believed Muslim.

True that.

239 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:00:26pm

re: #230 marjoriemoon

I couldn’t do a sock. The management would eye me to easily.
/’kay, that one was a bit of a stretch

240 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:00:30pm

re: #232 Slumbering Behemoth

I’m still a newbie? Dang.

I’m trying to bait you.

241 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:01:27pm

re: #240 Bagua

I’m trying to bait you.

pretty tricky, old chum

242 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:01:52pm

re: #235 CuriousLurker

Yep, he’s Indian. India has a sizable Muslim population.

Hindu 80.5%, Muslim 13.4%, Christian 2.3%, Sikh 1.9%, other 1.8%, unspecified 0.1% (2001 census)

With a population of well over a billion people, that’s a lot of Muslims.

Indeed. I think I’ll stick to puns than Muslim writers!

243 ryannon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:01:53pm

re: #203 Bagua

I don’t think he was a salmon.

I don’t know. For me, there was always something fishy about him.

244 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:02:38pm

re: #234 Nimed

Our ancestors once divided the New World among themselves. Good times…

Image: File:Spanish_Empire_Anachronous_0.PNG
Image: File:The_Portuguese_Empire.png

This is what the world looked like at the time:
Image: 800px-CantinoPlanisphere.png

Of course, at that time the Brits, the French, the Dutch and the proto-Italians hadn’t joined the party yet.

That’s me! El Conquistador!

/

245 ryannon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:03:16pm

re: #214 marjoriemoon

I don’t think that claim clam holds water.

246 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:04:08pm

re: #242 marjoriemoon

Good call. Don’t want to go around making people crabby.

247 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:04:39pm

This thread is all wet.

248 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:05:32pm

re: #233 Jimmah

He was brought up as a muslim but says he never really believed it. He said he had renewed his faith in 1990 , but later admitted that was a ploy to get some of the heat off him from the fatwa crowd.

I agree…which means that I was correct.

Come on…you can say it…it might sting but not for long…like a bandage - just do it quickly and get it over with…

///

249 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:05:46pm

re: #247 Bagua

This thread is all wet.

Perfect.
Image: 3385535159_a7fc7c3ff9.jpg

250 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:05:53pm

re: #247 Bagua

At this point, I’m just trawling for updings.

251 PhillyPretzel  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:06:21pm

Fish puns. Hmm I wonder what the Bard would have said about that?

252 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:07:08pm

re: #251 PhillyPretzel

Fish puns. Hmm I wonder what the Bard would have said about that?

“Don’t tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.”

-Twain

253 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:07:47pm

re: #250 Slumbering Behemoth

At this point, I’m just trawling for updings.

Chumming for a response?

254 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:08:21pm

re: #251 PhillyPretzel

He’d probably just keel over in laughter.

255 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:08:30pm

re: #250 Slumbering Behemoth

At this point, I’m just trawling for updings.

Fishing for praise again? Humph!

256 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:08:40pm

re: #253 Gus 802

Woops. “Chum” was used in 241.

257 Jimmah  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:08:48pm

re: #237 WindUpBird

My God, they invented raves

Heh - Some nifty editing in those videos though : here’s my favourite of the bunch : Holy Ghost vs Twisted Individual

258 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:09:40pm

re: #233 Jimmah

He was brought up as a muslim but says he never really believed it. He said he had renewed his faith in 1990 , but later admitted that was a ploy to get some of the heat off him from the fatwa crowd.

Interesting; I didn’t know that. Then again, I never paid much attention to him (or the fatwa issuers) one way or the other.

259 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:10:38pm

re: #258 CuriousLurker

love the new avatar, btw…

260 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:11:09pm

re: #250 Slumbering Behemoth

At this point, I’m just trawling for updings.

You too? Well, I always thought you made a splash around here anyway.

261 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:11:09pm

re: #259 Aceofwhat?

love the new avatar, btw…

IS THAT PAM?!?!

262 jaunte  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:11:34pm

re: #251 PhillyPretzel

He might just cry haddock.

263 Jimmah  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:11:37pm

re: #248 Aceofwhat?

I agree…which means that I was correct.

Come on…you can say it…it might sting but not for long…like a bandage - just do it quickly and get it over with…

///

Hey - I’ve agreed with you on at least two occasions before ;-)

264 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:11:48pm

re: #254 Slumbering Behemoth

He’d probably just keel over in laughter.

and bow to our talents

265 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:11:49pm

re: #258 CuriousLurker

Interesting; I didn’t know that. Then again, I never paid much attention to him (or the fatwa issuers) one way or the other.

You’re like a fish out of water on the salmon issue.

266 PhillyPretzel  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:12:02pm

Sheez. I baited the hook and everyone else is getting the fish.

267 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:12:09pm

re: #263 Jimmah

Hey - I’ve agreed with you on at least two occasions before ;-)

ahahahahaaa…well done…

268 ryannon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:12:11pm

re: #262 jaunte

He might just cry haddock.

Stop it. My eyes are already watering.

269 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:12:22pm

re: #261 Varek Raith

IS THAT PAM?!?!

Harpeia Stridens

270 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:12:32pm

re: #259 Aceofwhat?

love the new avatar, btw…

Hehehe, me too.

271 Aceofwhat?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:12:34pm

re: #261 Varek Raith

IS THAT PAM?!?!

it’s gorgeous, isn’t it?

272 Varek Raith  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:12:57pm
273 Nimed  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:13:08pm

re: #252 Aceofwhat?

“Don’t tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.”

-Twain

Eh. Maybe the unexpurgated biography will feature some of Twain’s improbable fish stories.

274 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:13:18pm

re: #264 albusteve

and bow to our talents

High praise, coming from one as stern as you.

275 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:13:20pm

re: #269 Gus 802

Harpeia Stridens

A fairly common species. It leans far to the right when it walks, but it shrieks far too loud to be anywhere near it.

276 albusteve  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:13:51pm

re: #274 Slumbering Behemoth

High praise, coming from one as stern as you.

hull of a thing eh?

277 Gus  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:14:25pm

re: #275 marjoriemoon

A fairly common species. It leans far to the right when it walks, but it shrieks far too loud to be anywhere near it.

Prone to cross species breeding just to lay another egg.

//

278 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:14:48pm

re: #269 Gus 802

Harpeia Stridens

I spent a lot of time looking up the “stridens” part. Still not sure I got it right. Maybe Cato will know…

279 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:15:20pm

re: #276 albusteve

hull of a thing eh?

I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned it ‘fore now.

280 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:15:35pm

re: #251 PhillyPretzel

Fish puns. Hmm I wonder what the Bard would have said about that?

To cut bait or fish, that is the question.
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The hooks and sinkers of outrageous fortuna,
Or to take fins against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep:


Bagua 2010©

281 William Barnett-Lewis  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:17:05pm

re: #276 albusteve

hull of a thing eh?

Keep it up & you’ll get decked.

282 PhillyPretzel  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:17:14pm

re: #280 Bagua
Good one. “outrageous fortuna?”

283 ryannon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:17:39pm

re: #281 wlewisiii

Keep it up & you’ll get decked.

We’re going to need a bridge over troubled waters soon.

284 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:17:58pm

re: #271 Aceofwhat?

it’s gorgeous, isn’t it?

Borrowed from Wikipedia.

285 William Barnett-Lewis  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:18:14pm

Nah, no one has the attention span any more.

286 What, me worry?  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:20:02pm

re: #284 CuriousLurker

Borrowed from Wikipedia.

Oh that’s good.

287 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:21:02pm

re: #286 marjoriemoon

Oh that’s good.

It was cathartic. ;o)

288 ryannon  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:21:04pm

re: #285 wlewisiii

Nah, no one has the attention span any more.

Anyone with half a brine could sea that this thread is sinking.

289 Bagua  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:25:15pm

We’re a bunch of chowder heads today.

290 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:25:21pm

re: #287 CuriousLurker

Excellent job. You should submit that image to our host.

291 CuriousLurker  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:28:49pm

re: #290 Slumbering Behemoth

Excellent job. You should submit that image to our host.

Thanks. I thought about offering it to him, but then I figured he probably keeps an eye on on changing avatars anyway.

Charles, if you’re listening feel free to use it!

292 Jimmah  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:33:54pm

re: #7 Alouette

Creepy WTF Mark Twain claymation (that he probably would have enjoyed)


[Video]

I love that clip. Satan is so very…godlike.

293 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Sun, Jul 11, 2010 3:44:32pm

Oh Snap! I got me a h/t. Thanks Charles. :)

294 Solomon2  Mon, Jul 12, 2010 10:47:35am

Come on, Charles! Did you HAVE to mention Pamela Geller in the same breath as Mark Twain? What are you trying to do here?


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