Glenn Beck: China Launched a ‘Two-Stage Missile’ Off California From a Submarine

Wingnuts • Views: 26,046

Glenn Beck, sounding more and more like a hyper-paranoid Alex Jones, says China launched a “two-stage missile” off the California coast from a submarine to intimidate the US, and ‘what they’re telling you on television is bull crap’. He knows this because he “knows an awful lot of people in the military.”

With a special appearance by Glenn’s angry Kermit personality.

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138 comments
1 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:03:13pm

Ummmm I don’t want what he’s smoking. I’ll try a lot of things but nothing like that.

2 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:04:39pm

Utterly, stupendously ludicrous.

3 freetoken  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:07:23pm

So, this is how it ends for Beck - a rolling series of every increasing paranoia until even Murdoch agrees to the idea that Beck be locked inside a padded cell.

4 freetoken  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:08:43pm

Isn’t Beck “on television”? Is this the Beck-A personality criticizing the Beck-B personality (that shows up on TV)?

5 elizajane  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:08:57pm

I did listen to the whole thing, but just in the first minute he mocks the notion that the devaluing dollar will help U.S. exports because “we don’t export anything any more, we don’t make anything.” A 5-second google search suggests that our exports are worth more than a billion dollars a year.

That’s a fair distance from nothing. The same distance that separates the rest of his crap from the truth.

6 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:09:27pm

Nevermind the fact that the video makes it painfully obvious that it is WAY TOO SLOW TO BE A MISSILE OF ANY KIND.
Fucking idiot.

7 elizajane  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:11:44pm

re: #5 elizajane

I did listen to the whole thing, but just in the first minute he mocks the notion that the devaluing dollar will help U.S. exports because “we don’t export anything any more, we don’t make anything.” A 5-second google search suggests that our exports are worth more than a billion dollars a year.

That’s a fair distance from nothing. The same distance that separates the rest of his crap from the truth.

Sorry. I meant our exports are more than a TRILLION dollars a year. The distance-from-truth concept still applies.

8 researchok  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:12:48pm

It’s not just Beck and the right

From the left of center First Post:

LA vapour trail mystery: was it a Chinese missile?

9 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:13:16pm

re: #6 Varek Raith

Nevermind the fact that the video makes it painfully obvious that it is WAY TOO SLOW TO BE A MISSILE OF ANY KIND.
Fucking idiot.

Funny… the video of the “event” didn’t fool anyone here on LGF… we all knew it was an airplane.

10 Amory Blaine  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:16:39pm

Maybe Beck and Alex Jones could have a morning drive time show together.

11 engineer cat  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:22:07pm

it doesn’t matter as long as what he says sells gold. and hysteria sells gold

12 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:22:59pm

“What exactly are we exporting?”

For one, tons and tons of food. Dumbass.

13 chonguey  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:24:34pm

re: #4 freetoken

Logical consistency is for wusses and commies.

Glenn Beck style “Real Patriots” are masters of cognitive dissonance, being able to hold multiple conflicting views that make no sense whatsoever, as long as it makes non-conservatives look bad.

They just love their country that much.

14 Obdicut  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:24:49pm

re: #12 Slumbering Behemoth

Our manufacturing industry is stronger than it ever has been. The number of manufacturing drops has dropped drastically, but the amount of manufacturing done here, in dollar value, is at its highest point ever (excluding WWII where things are hard to figure out).

We still do make tons of stuff here in the US. There just aren’t very man jobs involved in doing so anymore, thanks to huge amounts of automation and other improvements in productivity.

15 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:25:06pm

re: #9 Walter L. Newton

Funny… the video of the “event” didn’t fool anyone here on LGF… we all knew it was an airplane.

Because we’re awesome.
;)

16 Ming  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:25:50pm

While China is building bullet trains all over the place, Republicans are ridiculing the Obama Administration’s interest in high-speed trains. While China has plans for 155 new nuclear power plants, the USA has tentative plans for 2. And don’t even get me started on embryonic stem-cell research, a technology with awesome promise. Yes, of course, as American kids study the Bible in science classes, while Chinese kids study science, we’ll see some impressive Chinese military and scientific events. People like Glenn Beck who get all bent out of shape at such things will have plenty of things to get bent out of shape about! But don’t feel too bad, Glenn, you can always blame it on Obama.

17 Killgore Trout  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:27:17pm

Thunderdome of crazy: Two nuts enter, one nuts leaves….
Alan Keyes warns of Sarah Palin’s connection to George Soros


George Soros provides funding resources for activism that undermines the American constitutional republic. The details of his largesse confirm the fact that this activism is at work in both the Democratic and Republican parties. With one hand Soros instigates the openly leftist push for global, totalitarian socialism characteristic of the Obama faction. With the other he quietly promotes the self-serving crypto-socialist agendas that hide behind the mask of conservative rhetoric put on by Republican leaders in the McCain/Palin mold. As a result, in 2008 the sham two-party system offered a choice between the Soros-backed partisan network of John McCain and the Soros-backed partisan network of Barack Obama. Will a GOP nominee like Palin assure the same sham alternative in 2012?
18 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:27:19pm

re: #16 Ming
Well. That was merciless.

19 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:30:53pm

re: #16 Ming

Yes, of course, as American kids study the Bible in science classes, while Chinese kids study science, we’ll see some impressive Chinese military and scientific events. People like Glenn Beck who get all bent out of shape at such things will have plenty of things to get bent out of shape about!

Promoting anti-science rhetoric while lamenting that we are falling behind other countries scientifically. That’s Our Beck.

Ugh.

20 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:31:54pm

re: #17 Killgore Trout

Thunderdome of crazy: Two nuts enter, one nuts leaves…
Alan Keyes warns of Sarah Palin’s connection to George Soros

I think ATLAH’s Manning also condemned Palin, though I’m to lazy to bother finding why.

21 freetoken  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:32:02pm

re: #17 Killgore Trout

Thunderdome of crazy

Nominate for a rotating title.

22 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:32:15pm

re: #16 Ming

By the way, my 18 was just being silly.

China has a billion more folks than we do. They better be building some infrastructure. Hell, they need it more than we do.

I’m not saying that the same things aren’t needed over here. I just don’t think the Chinese Government would bow to environmentalists who want to stop them from building nuclear power plants? Nor would the Chinese courts stop the Chinese Government from taking land for high speed trains.

I am saying it is a helluva a lot easier to do it over there. They have tanks to drive right through any red tape.

23 freetoken  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:32:52pm

re: #20 Sergey Romanov

There are several preachers out condemning Esther for not staying home with the kids. In their doctrines women are not allowed to teach or have authority over men.

24 Fat Bastard Vegetarian  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:34:03pm

re: #23 freetoken

I visited a Church once where women were not even allowed to teach boy children in Sunday School.

Please note the word “once”.

25 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:35:44pm

re: #23 freetoken

There are several preachers out condemning Esther for not staying home with the kids. In their doctrines women are not allowed to teach or have authority over men.

Well, somewhere in the NT Paul forbids women to speak in Church. I guess they derive it from this, plus the general patriarchal tone of the Bible.

26 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:37:42pm

re: #24 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

I visited a Church once where women were not even allowed to teach boy children in Sunday School.

Please note the word “once”.

But… but… it’s in the bible…

11 Corinthians 14:34: “Let the women keep silence in the churches; for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but let them be in subjection, as also saith the law. And If they would learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for a woman to speak in the church.”

27 Jack Burton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:39:03pm

re: #24 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

I visited a Church once where women were not even allowed to teach boy children in Sunday School.

Please note the word “once”.

“You shouldn’t grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once… once.”

28 mojo9  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:40:20pm

He knows this because he “knows an awful lot of people in the military.”

And they all are just dying to tell their classified secrets!
Dumbass.

29 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:40:38pm

re: #24 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

A buddy of mine got roped into a church like that once. The often criticized the women folk, right down to every little girl, for not wearing dresses, among other things.

He snapped out of it when he realized that it seemed a lot like a cult.

30 albusteve  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:42:05pm

the Chinese are rapidly polluting themselves to death…in a few decades we will be selling them air

31 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:42:12pm

re: #28 mojo9

He knows this because he “knows an awful lot of people in the military.”

And they all are just dying to tell their classified secrets!
Dumbass.

Also, surely someone would’ve spotted recovery vessels at the site of the launch…
You know, to recover part of the missile, being multistage and all.

32 elizajane  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:43:26pm

re: #22 Fat Bastard Vegetarian

By the way, my 18 was just being silly.

China has a billion more folks than we do. They better be building some infrastructure. Hell, they need it more than we do.

I’m not saying that the same things aren’t needed over here. I just don’t think the Chinese Government would bow to environmentalists who want to stop them from building nuclear power plants? Nor would the Chinese courts stop the Chinese Government from taking land for high speed trains.

I am saying it is a helluva a lot easier to do it over there. They have tanks to drive right through any red tape.

We have no idea just how fast “development” can happen in a country with no checks on the government. Entire cities wiped out. Huge rivers, poisoned. Between 2003 and 2008, they DOUBLED the miles of highway, and by 2011 they will have tripled the miles. Along the way, destroying villages, communities. Vast numbers of new commuters, basically lawless streets, massive traffic fatalities: the cost of promoting growth and development over history, community, individuals. And that’s just roadwork!

When my 6-year-old daughter came from the Shanghai area to the USA she was constantly remarking upon how old and run-down everything was here, in California. I tried to explain that in America we liked old things, but she was having none of it. “In China we have NEW!”

We went to visit the place where she’d been born 6 years before. It was a giant highway intersection.

33 Kragar  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:44:02pm

Facts?

Evidence?

Logic?

A Glenn Beck cares not of these things.

34 TedStriker  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:44:26pm

re: #31 Varek Raith

Also, surely someone would’ve spotted recovery vessels at the site of the launch…
You know, to recover part of the missile, being multistage and all.

They used submarines or stealth boats, don’t you know?

/WOLVERINES!!11ty

35 Kragar  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:45:12pm

re: #34 talon_262

They used submarines or stealth boats, don’t you know?

/WOLVERINES!!11ty

Red Dawn was a viciously anti-American movie.

36 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:45:21pm

re: #34 talon_262

They used submarines or stealth boats, don’t you know?

/WOLVERINES!!11ty

Of course!
Klingon Bird of Prey.
Makes perfect sense now!
Wut?…
/

37 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:46:38pm

re: #29 Slumbering Behemoth

A buddy of mine got roped into a church like that once. The often criticized the women folk, right down to every little girl, for not wearing dresses, among other things.

He snapped out of it when he realized that it seemed a lot like a cult.

Many modern theologians will try “knight jumping” all sorts of explanations to try to mitigate this Greek scriptural passage (and there are also others passages that address the same thing), but it wasn’t until the last 100 years or so that anyone really questioned this concept. The plain meaning of the Greek in this passage, combined with the almost 2000 year old understanding of a women’s role in worship, was simple. woman were not to teach in church.

38 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:47:58pm

re: #26 Walter L. Newton

But… but… it’s in the bible…

11 Corinthians 14:34: “Let the women keep silence in the churches; for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but let them be in subjection, as also saith the law. And If they would learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for a woman to speak in the church.”

In the LDS church the talks are given by the members of the church, which means it rotates and everyone takes a turn. Every couple of years it’s your turn to give a 15 minute talk.

Do you know how many times I have heard a woman quote that scripture, and then ask the Bishop if it gets her out of giving a talk?

Never worked yet.

39 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:48:12pm

re: #32 elizajane

At least our rivers aren’t orange and poisonous!
/Damn, dissing a kid is low, Varek. Just low.
:)

40 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:49:52pm

re: #38 EmmmieG

In the LDS church the talks are given by the members of the church, which means it rotates and everyone takes a turn. Every couple of years it’s your turn to give a 15 minute talk.

Do you know how many times I have heard a woman quote that scripture, and then ask the Bishop if it gets her out of giving a talk?

Never worked yet.

Hahaha!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but since LDS views the OT & NT as they are now corrupt, citing it is not as authoritative as citing the BoM, the D&C, the PoGP?

41 albusteve  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:51:22pm

re: #39 Varek Raith

At least our rivers aren’t orange and poisonous!
/Damn, dissing a kid is low, Varek. Just low.
:)

obviously you’ve never heard of the Cuyahoga fiasco….the Mistake By The Lake

42 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:51:41pm

Frakking cold!
Ugh.
We can land a man on the moon…

43 reloadingisnotahobby  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:52:17pm

Dear Mr.Beck,
If the Chinese Navy launched an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile 35 miles off the coast of Calif ?
Your “Friends” in the Military will be needing jobs as soon as they get out
of Leavenworth!

44 Kragar  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:52:28pm

re: #42 Varek Raith

Frakking cold!
Ugh.
We can land a man on the moon…

LIES!

45 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:53:03pm

re: #41 albusteve

obviously you’ve never heard of the Cuyahoga fiasco…the Mistake By The Lake

Yikes!
Polluted enough that you can set it on fire…
Thanks for the info, BTW.

46 JamesWI  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:53:26pm

re: #35 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Red Dawn was a viciously anti-American movie.

Well, this says anti-war, but it’s a funny read:

[Link: www.cracked.com…]

47 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:53:49pm

re: #38 EmmmieG

In the LDS church the talks are given by the members of the church, which means it rotates and everyone takes a turn. Every couple of years it’s your turn to give a 15 minute talk.

Do you know how many times I have heard a woman quote that scripture, and then ask the Bishop if it gets her out of giving a talk?

Never worked yet.

Jehovah’s Witnesses has a similar process, of every MALE member developing a “talk” and presenting it to the congregation. They don’t allow the woman to “teach” the men.

But, woman are allowed to respond openly to the questions during the study period. That is because the “answers” to all the questions are read verbatim out of the study book, without any interpretation by the respondent… ergo… the woman (or man) is not really teaching, simply parroting the teaching from the Elders of the organization.

Clever?

48 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:53:59pm

re: #40 Sergey Romanov

Hahaha!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but since LDS views the OT & NT as they are now corrupt, citing it is not as authoritative as citing the BoM, the D&C, the PoGP?

Well, they’re kidding, since they know it won’t work, but the Bible is viewed as equally authoritative, it’s just that you’re dealing with a translation, often a translation of a translation so the footnotes are full of alternate translations and so on.

49 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:54:11pm

re: #38 EmmmieG

In the LDS church the talks are given by the members of the church, which means it rotates and everyone takes a turn. Every couple of years it’s your turn to give a 15 minute talk.

Do you know how many times I have heard a woman quote that scripture, and then ask the Bishop if it gets her out of giving a talk?

Never worked yet.

Also note that JST has “rule” instead of “speak”, so the passage can be more easily reinterpreted:

[Link: scriptures.lds.org…]

50 NorthOfAtlanta  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:54:37pm

First post, I know he never looked at this. I spent at least 30 seconds finding it.

51 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:54:51pm

re: #42 Varek Raith

Frakking cold!
Ugh.
We can land a man on the moon…

And we can go and put on a pair of wool socks or a sweater or something.

(Just in case you’re wondering if I’m actually a mother of five.)

52 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:55:16pm

re: #40 Sergey Romanov

Hahaha!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but since LDS views the OT & NT as they are now corrupt, citing it is not as authoritative as citing the BoM, the D&C, the PoGP?

Where did you ever get the idea that the LDS considers the Hebrew and Greek scriptures corrupt? Certainly now… they do consider their 3 books as continuing revelation that supplements the bible.

53 elizajane  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:58:11pm

re: #50 NorthOfAtlanta

First post, I know he never looked at this. I spent at least 30 seconds finding it.

Welcome, North. We like fact-checkers here.

54 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 2:59:34pm

re: #52 Walter L. Newton

Where did you ever get the idea that the LDS considers the Hebrew and Greek scriptures corrupt? Certainly now… they do consider their 3 books as continuing revelation that supplements the bible.

Er “Certainly not…” (not “now”)

55 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:00:28pm

re: #52 Walter L. Newton

Where did you ever get the idea that the LDS considers the Hebrew and Greek scriptures corrupt? Certainly now… they do consider their 3 books as continuing revelation that supplements the bible.

1. Have you heard of the Joseph Smith’s Translation of the Bible?

2.

29 And after these plain and precious things were ataken away it goeth forth unto all the nations of the Gentiles; and after it goeth forth unto all the nations of the Gentiles, yea, even across the many waters which thou hast seen with the Gentiles which have gone forth out of captivity, thou seest—because of the many plain and precious things which have been taken out of the book, which were plain unto the understanding of the children of men, according to the plainness which is in the Lamb of God—because of these things which are taken away out of the gospel of the Lamb, an exceedingly great many do stumble, yea, insomuch that Satan hath great power over them.

[Link: scriptures.lds.org…]

3. [Link: lds.org…]

The Bible of the Old World has come to us from the manuscripts of antiquity—manuscripts which passed through the hands of uninspired men who changed many parts to suit their own doctrinal ideas. Deletions were common, and, as it now stands, many plain and precious portions and many covenants of the Lord have been lost. As a consequence, those who rely upon it alone stumble and are confused and divide themselves among many churches, all based on this or that interpretation of the Bible.

etc.

56 Killgore Trout  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:00:34pm

Comments from Fox News readers….
Beck: They’re Lying To Us About Mystery Contrail

I agree with Glenn, this was a missile. I’ve seen many ground to air missiles being fired, and to say this was an airplane is lunacy. The American people can’t be fooled, we know what’s going on.
….
he day the Fed monetized the debt? Interesting.
…..

57 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:02:11pm

re: #52 Walter L. Newton

Where did you ever get the idea that the LDS considers the Hebrew and Greek scriptures corrupt? Certainly now… they do consider their 3 books as continuing revelation that supplements the bible.

Article of Faith 8

We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.
Even here on LGF, it has been repeatedly explained by the Hebrew speakers that “Thou shalt not kill” should have been translated as “Thou shalt not murder”.

We study all of the scriptures in rotation, and yes, women are allowed to teach both adult and youth classes or respond with an idea or an insight.

58 SpaceJesus  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:03:27pm

conservatives are literally the dumbest people that have ever existed

59 SpaceJesus  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:04:10pm

this chihuahua that i am babysitting right now that is humping my couch pillow is smarter than your average republican.

60 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:04:15pm

re: #52 Walter L. Newton

Where did you ever get the idea that the LDS considers the Hebrew and Greek scriptures corrupt? Certainly now… they do consider their 3 books as continuing revelation that supplements the bible.

[Link: scriptures.lds.org…]

The position of the Church regarding the Bible is that it contains the word of God as far as it is translated correctly (A of F 8). Joseph Smith taught that “many important points touching the salvation of men, had been taken from the Bible, or lost before it was compiled.” He also said that the Bible was correct as “it came from the pen of the original writers,” but that “ignorant translators, careless transcribers, or designing and corrupt priests have committed many errors.” (HC 1: 245; 6: 57.) The Church reveres and respects the Bible, but recognizes that it is not a complete nor entirely accurate record, and affirms also that the Lord has given additional revelation through his prophets in the last days that sustains, supports, and verifies the biblical account of God’s dealings with mankind.
61 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:05:45pm

re: #60 Sergey Romanov

Word of caution.
Walter knows his stuff on this.
Be prepared.

:)

62 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:05:52pm

re: #59 SpaceJesus

Don’t make me downding you.

63 wrenchwench  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:07:00pm

re: #59 SpaceJesus

Don’t make me upding you.

64 albusteve  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:07:03pm

re: #56 Killgore Trout

Comments from Fox News readers…
Beck: They’re Lying To Us About Mystery Contrail

I agree with Glenn, this was a missile. I’ve seen many ground to air missiles being fired, and to say this was an airplane is lunacy. The American people can’t be fooled, we know what’s going on.

he day the Fed monetized the debt? Interesting.

LVQ said the same thing…looks are deceiving
I just wanted it to be an alien missle from Planet X

65 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:07:30pm

re: #58 SpaceJesus

conservatives liberals are literally the dumbest people that have ever existed

Quit trolling, ya dork.

66 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:07:31pm

re: #55 Sergey Romanov

1. Have you heard of the Joseph Smith’s Translation of the Bible?

2.

[Link: scriptures.lds.org…]

3. [Link: lds.org…]

etc.

Yes… Joesph Smith considered certain TRANSLATIONS to be faulty, not the original Hebrew and Greek itself. He was talking about “tweeks” of certain passages in TRANSLATION, which would skew the passage to bolster a certain interpretation one way or another.

He did not consider the original words, as put down by the original author(s) to be corrupt.

This is the same sentiment you find in many of the non-mainstream christian based religions.. such as Jehovah’s Witnesses, Aventist, Mormons, Church of God, many millennium groups, Covenant groups (and so on and so on)… many, most, of these groups follow a foundational thinking that they have a BETTER understanding of the original scriptures, and that doctrinal fallacies have been inserted into the text during biased translation.

That’s a fine distinction between considering the bible as being corrupt and simply badly translated in part.

67 SpaceJesus  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:07:55pm

now he’s taking a nap on my lap. he is also cuter than your average republican. replace all republicans with chihuahuas.

68 reine.de.tout  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:08:00pm

re: #62 EmmmieG

Don’t make me downding you.

Sometimes I think spacejesus is so embarrassed about his current positive karma level, he says things to try to get downdinged.

69 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:08:11pm

re: #64 albusteve

LVQ said the same thing…looks are deceiving
I just wanted it to be an alien missle from Planet X

Only if Planet X is a place full of photogentic people who do very interesting things that happen and are resolved in a 22 or 44 minute time slot.

Otherwise, it will be just like this place, only with different constellations.

70 Spocomptonite  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:08:34pm

What kind of drug makes you both hallucinate AND angry? It’s like Beck is taking increasingly powerful hits of LSD combined with the RAGE from the movie ‘28 days later’.

*sees contrail that looks different from usual aircraft contrails*
“I see a missile! And multiple stages! And submarines! And China! HOW DARE THEY?! RAWR!!!”

71 lostlakehiker  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:09:00pm

re: #13 chonguey

Logical consistency is for wusses and commies.

Glenn Beck style “Real Patriots” are masters of cognitive dissonance, being able to hold multiple conflicting views that make no sense whatsoever, as long as it makes non-conservatives look bad.

They just love their country that much.


///Fair warning///
Beck is so wrong. It was a flying chariot. It has to be that, because it wasn’t an airplane since Beck says so, and it can’t have been a missile, for the following three reasons:


If China wanted to launch a missile and test how it worked, they’d launch where they could monitor every little thing about the launch. And if they wanted to impress us, they’d tell us where to look and make sure we noticed. They’d make sure everybody noticed.

If they wanted to test one, and didn’t want us to notice, good luck with that. But they surely would improve their chances by picking a place that’s not in full view of umpteen million Americans.

And even if China wanted to do all that, ain’t nobody make no missile that goes a few hundred miles an hour and stays lit for ten minutes.

So I say what it was, was no missile, but a CHARIOT OF FIRE.

/// end{fair warning}///

72 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:09:01pm

re: #68 reine.de.tout

Sometimes I think spacejesus is so embarrassed about his current positive karma level, he says things to try to get downdinged.

This.
Most certainly this.

73 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:09:27pm

re: #61 Varek Raith

Word of caution.
Walter knows his stuff on this.
Be prepared.

:)

In the beginning of 00’s I delved into the world of Mormonism. Besides meeting with missionaries and visiting the meetings I’ve read all the official scriptures in English, portions of many non-official things, like Journal of Discourses, Teachings of the Prophet …, some Mormon diaries, some critical literature, that Mormons consider “anti-Mormon”, as well as responses by online apologists and by FARMS. So I kinda know this stuff too :-)

74 engineer cat  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:09:41pm

re: #59 SpaceJesus

this chihuahua that i am babysitting right now that is humping my couch pillow is smarter than your average republican.

you’re not accounting for the alternate universe that’s only 6000 years old. everything is different there

75 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:09:57pm

re: #71 lostlakehiker

Are you suggesting it was really Apollo in his flying chariot? ‘Cause that would sell a lot of books for Rick Riordan.

76 cliffster  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:10:38pm

re: #59 SpaceJesus

this chihuahua that i am babysitting right now that is humping my couch pillow is smarter than your average republican.

and your chihuahua’s poop is smarter than your average liberal

77 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:10:55pm

re: #60 Sergey Romanov

See my… re: #66 Walter L. Newton

As my comment above reveals, and you quote mentions…

“The position of the Church regarding the Bible is that it contains the word of God as far as it is translated correctly (A of F 8). Joseph Smith taught that “many important points touching the salvation of men, had been taken from the Bible, or lost before it was compiled.””

And also see EmmmieG comment… “Article of Faith 8

We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.”

And look… I’m a fucking atheist, I think the whole thing is folk lore and mythology… I don’t have a god in this fight (dog spelt backwards).

78 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:11:57pm

re: #67 SpaceJesus

now he’s taking a nap on my lap. he is also cuter than your average republican. replace all republicans with chihuahuas.

That’s because children don’t have political parties, no matter what their parents think, so you’re pitting an animal against an adult human. We usually aren’t cute, and are repulsive if we try to be cute, like a grown woman carrying a Hello Kitty purse.*

*This statement is invalid in Japan.

79 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:12:12pm

re: #66 Walter L. Newton

Yes… Joesph Smith considered certain TRANSLATIONS to be faulty, not the original Hebrew and Greek itself. He was talking about “tweeks” of certain passages in TRANSLATION, which would skew the passage to bolster a certain interpretation one way or another.

He did not consider the original words, as put down by the original author(s) to be corrupt.

Obviously, but since we don’t have the original words, the Bible as it is published (even as it is published by the Mormons, who use KJV) cannot be as authoritative as the ultimately correct translations written from direct revelation.

80 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:12:37pm

re: #73 Sergey Romanov

In the beginning of 00’s I delved into the world of Mormonism. Besides meeting with missionaries and visiting the meetings I’ve read all the official scriptures in English, portions of many non-official things, like Journal of Discourses, Teachings of the Prophet …, some Mormon diaries, some critical literature, that Mormons consider “anti-Mormon”, as well as responses by online apologists and by FARMS. So I kinda know this stuff too :-)

Well… on this subject… your “kinda” wrong. Period.

81 Romantic Heretic  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:12:53pm

re: #35 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Red Dawn was a viciously anti-American movie.

I thought that if it hadn’t been an American movie about American partisans fighting the Russians and Cubans in WWIII it could easily have been a Russian movie about Russian partisans fighting the Germans and Romanians (and Hungarians and Slovaks and Spanish, plus others) in WWII.

82 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:14:08pm

re: #77 Walter L. Newton

See my… re: #66 Walter L. Newton

As my comment above reveals, and you quote mentions…

“The position of the Church regarding the Bible is that it contains the word of God as far as it is translated correctly (A of F 8). Joseph Smith taught that “many important points touching the salvation of men, had been taken from the Bible, or lost before it was compiled.””

And also see EmmmieG comment… “Article of Faith 8

We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.”

And look… I’m a fucking atheist, I think the whole thing is folk lore and mythology… I don’t have a god in this fight (dog spelt backwards).

Walter, your knowledge of this is commendable, but please read my words carefully:

Correct me if I’m wrong, but since LDS views the OT & NT as they are now corrupt, citing it is not as authoritative as citing the BoM, the D&C, the PoGP?

83 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:14:39pm

re: #80 Walter L. Newton

Well… on this subject… your “kinda” wrong. Period.

No, Walter, it’s just you have poor reading comprehension.

84 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:14:54pm

Is anyone else looking at that trade report?

What are we sending so much of to Canada?

85 engineer cat  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:15:05pm

the kind of person that is getting on spaceJesus’ nerves doesn’t survive for more than a day on LGF

86 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:15:42pm

re: #85 engineer dog

the kind of person that is getting on spaceJesus’ nerves doesn’t survive for more than a day on LGF

Just upding all his posts.
He’ll quite down.
:P

87 Political Atheist  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:16:18pm

The next “missile” contrail I want to see is Glen Back leaving the scene forever. Happy landings Glen, we will not miss you a bit.

88 albusteve  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:16:19pm

re: #67 SpaceJesus

now he’s taking a nap on my lap. he is also cuter than your average republican. replace all republicans with chihuahuas.

and your average donk is dumber than a box of rocks with nothing to think about other than their next Burning Man gig

89 TedStriker  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:17:16pm

re: #35 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Red Dawn was a viciously anti-American movie.

re: #81 Romantic Heretic

I thought that if it hadn’t been an American movie about American partisans fighting the Russians and Cubans in WWIII it could easily have been a Russian movie about Russian partisans fighting the Germans and Romanians (and Hungarians and Slovaks and Spanish, plus others) in WWII.

My thoughts exactly…I wouldn’t say that Red Dawn was “anti-American”, but I will say that the movie has been co-opted and taken to heart by red-blooded wingnut ‘Merkins. That scenario seems to be the be-all-end-all of patriotism for them…

90 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:17:41pm

re: #79 Sergey Romanov

Obviously, but since we don’t have the original words, the Bible as it is published (even as it is published by the Mormons, who use KJV) cannot be as authoritative as the ultimately correct translations written from direct revelation.

Textual criticism is a science, and textual criticism of the hebrew and greek scriptures have come a long way since the KJV. Theologians, biblical anthropologist and archeologist have as accurate source scriptures as one could imagine… and there is very little lacunes left in the bible.

91 reine.de.tout  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:17:51pm

re: #85 engineer dog

the kind of person that is getting on spaceJesus’ nerves doesn’t survive for more than a day on LGF

Very true.

92 albusteve  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:18:07pm

re: #87 Rightwingconspirator

The next “missile” contrail I want to see is Glen Back leaving the scene forever. Happy landings Glen, we will not miss you a bit.

Beck…a moonlette orbiting Titan

93 chonguey  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:18:20pm

re: #77 Walter L. Newton

See my… re: #66 Walter L. Newton

As my comment above reveals, and you quote mentions…

“The position of the Church regarding the Bible is that it contains the word of God as far as it is translated correctly (A of F 8).

Of course, the main problem with this is the fact that “Translated” as used in Mormonspeak rarely means “the changing of one language to another thru mundane scholarly means.”

“Translation” as used by members of the LDS church, is often used as a red herring to simultaneously bolster claims of divine scriptural provenance of books that have no real “ancient” version (The Book of Mormon, The Book of Abraham) or to change the actual meaning of the text into something more friendly to Mormon Doctrine (Joseph Smith “Inspired” Biblical Translation). Both include some form of divine intervention and specifically do not include any knowledge of the languages one is translating from.

While there are many many legitimate “translation” errors from the original Hebrew and Greek versions of the bible, when Mormons talk about Translation, you can be sure that the criteria of what is a “translation” and what is simply “invented ad hoc” is often impossible to distinguish.

94 Killgore Trout  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:18:42pm
95 webevintage  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:19:02pm

Yesterday Mitch the Snitch and his Republicans refused the President of the United States’ invitation to meet.
Has anyone ever done that?

96 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:20:26pm

re: #90 Walter L. Newton

Textual criticism is a science, and textual criticism of the hebrew and greek scriptures have come a long way since the KJV. Theologians, biblical anthropologist and archeologist have as accurate source scriptures as one could imagine… and there is very little lacunes left in the bible.

Quite a non sequitur for the purposes of this discussion. This might so from a secular point of view, not necessarily from the official LDS POV. E.g. JST goes much farther, adding chunks of text that you won’t find in the reconstructions. What secular textual criticism says and what a religion says are orthogonal.

97 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:20:56pm

re: #94 Killgore Trout

Canada’s Top Imports from US
Cars.

Oh, thank you. I knew it couldn’t be food, because they grow food just fine there. I was wondering if it was software or something.

98 albusteve  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:20:58pm

re: #95 webevintage

Yesterday Mitch the Snitch and his Republicans refused the President of the United States’ invitation to meet.
Has anyone ever done that?

I’d love the opportunity

99 engineer cat  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:21:00pm

re: #88 albusteve

and your average donk is dumber than a box of rocks with nothing to think about other than their next Burning Man gig

my rocks really enjoyed their gig at burning man

they worked at the bureau of mutant vehicles

100 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:21:35pm

re: #98 albusteve

I’d love the opportunity

Gotta run for office of some sort, I’m afraid.

101 Political Atheist  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:22:34pm

re: #92 albusteve

Funniest thing is Beck has now been punked by a bunch of just groped coach passengers. LOL.

102 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:22:49pm

re: #90 Walter L. Newton

Textual criticism is a science, and textual criticism of the hebrew and greek scriptures have come a long way since the KJV. Theologians, biblical anthropologist and archeologist have as accurate source scriptures as one could imagine… and there is very little lacunes left in the bible.

Also, again, it’s the LDS’s choice to use the KJV. If they thought that modern textual criticism is so nifty, they would use NIV or would translate NA27 themselves. They don’t

103 webevintage  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:23:26pm

re: #98 albusteve

I’d love the opportunity

I’m sure you would not pass up the opportunity to be disrespectful to the President of the United States, but I am asking about these meetings specific type of meetings.
It seems pretty disrespectful to me.

104 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:23:32pm

re: #102 Sergey Romanov

Also, again, it’s the LDS’s choice to use the KJV. If they thought that modern textual criticism is so nifty, they would use NIV or would translate NA27 themselves. They don’t

You have a point there.

106 albusteve  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:25:22pm

re: #103 webevintage

I’m sure you would not pass up the opportunity to be disrespectful to the President of the United States, but I am asking about these meetings specific type of meetings.
It seems pretty disrespectful to me.

disrespectful is your speculation….whatever, the man is a servant of the people, not the other way around

107 Kragar  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:26:00pm

Wait, you mean a Church can pick and choose which parts of the Word of God to follow as doctrine?

What kind of horseshit is that?

108 chonguey  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:27:04pm

re: #107 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

You appear to be unfamiliar with 99% of all “churchgoers”

109 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:27:22pm

re: #107 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Wait, you mean a Church can pick and choose which parts of the Word of God to follow as doctrine?

What kind of horseshit is that?

It’s not only not hs, it’s inevitable since complex scriptures are always contradictory. All religions do it.

And that’s good, because otherwise we would still be stuck with “stone the gays” crap ;-)

110 researchok  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:28:08pm

re: #94 Killgore Trout

Canada’s Top Imports from US
Cars.

Unbelievable numbers.

Bilateral trade is well over a billion dollars a day.

111 engineer cat  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:28:26pm

re: #102 Sergey Romanov

Also, again, it’s the LDS’s choice to use the KJV. If they thought that modern textual criticism is so nifty, they would use NIV or would translate NA27 themselves. They don’t

i suffer them to use it without hinderance or let

112 Kragar  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:28:47pm

re: #109 Sergey Romanov

It’s not only not hs, it’s inevitable since complex scriptures are always contradictory. All religions do it.

And that’s good, because otherwise we would still be stuck with “stone the gays” crap ;-)

Well, depending on where you live, you still are stuck with it.

113 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:28:56pm

re: #110 researchok

Unbelievable numbers.

Bilateral trade is well over a billion dollars a day.

Just don’t tell Beck that.

114 Ojoe  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:28:57pm

“The scriptures haven’t changed, we just undersatnd them better.”

—Giovanni Roncalli (Pope John XXIII)

BBL

115 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:30:19pm

re: #112 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Well, depending on where you live, you still are stuck with it.

Which is why liberalization of approach to interpretation of holy books is a must for any society that wants to move forward.

116 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:31:04pm

re: #114 Ojoe

“The scriptures haven’t changed, we just undersatnd them better.”

—Giovanni Roncalli (Pope John XXIII)

BBL

I suppose in some cases, yes.
In others? Nope. Our morals just evolved to the point where we find those scriptures reprehensible.

117 Killgore Trout  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:31:09pm

re: #110 researchok

Unbelievable numbers.

Bilateral trade is well over a billion dollars a day.

Let’s just hope the Canadians don’t figure out how to make their own cars. Canadilacs!

118 Ojoe  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:32:32pm

re: #116 Varek Raith

Our morals just evolved to the point where we find those scriptures reprehensible.

That’s an understanding, isin’t it though?

: )

BBL

119 Kragar  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:32:34pm

re: #108 chonguey

You appear to be unfamiliar with 99% of all “churchgoers”

Very likely.

120 Walter L. Newton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:32:46pm

re: #115 Sergey Romanov

Which is why liberalization of approach to interpretation of holy books is a must for any society that wants to move forward.

That’s why getting ride of the silly belief in god is a must for any society that wants to move forward.

121 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:32:48pm

re: #117 Killgore Trout

Let’s just hope the Canadians don’t figure out how to make their own cars. Canadilacs!

Canadilacs?
Lol.

122 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:34:33pm

re: #120 Walter L. Newton

That’s why getting ride of the silly belief in god is a must for any society that wants to move forward.

I’m a fucking atheist too, and there was a period when I thought so. I got better.

123 goddamnedfrank  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:34:36pm

re: #84 EmmmieG

Is anyone else looking at that trade report?

What are we sending so much of to Canada?

Porn?

www.france24.com...]>www.france24.com…]>Canada’s second-oldest magazine, The Beaver, is changing its name after 90 years because the title is too often censored by online porn filters, preventing it from reaching new online readers.

124 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:35:37pm

re: #117 Killgore Trout

The Ehgo…

125 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:36:19pm

re: #124 Dreggas

The Ehgo…

The Ehdsel.

126 engineer cat  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:37:37pm

re: #125 Varek Raith

The Ehdsel.

the poutainiac?

127 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:38:13pm

re: #123 goddamnedfrank

Wow. I don’t even know (and I’m not looking for an explanation) why that would be blocked.

I don’t even think I’m going to google it.

I’ll just go have another cookie. (They’re warm.)

128 Romantic Heretic  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:42:29pm

re: #92 albusteve

Beck…a moonlette orbiting Titan

Let’s hope there’s no intelligent life there. They’ll send him back.

Perhaps along with a volley of plasma torpedoes to pay us back. /

129 Varek Raith  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:43:07pm

re: #128 Romantic Heretic

Let’s hope there’s no intelligent life there. They’ll send him back.

Perhaps along with a volley of plasma torpedoes to pay us back. /

Oh, great.
Romulans or Gorn???
:P

130 Kronocide  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:43:14pm

Beck doesn’t just sound like Alex Jones, he is. He went there.

I hope he keeps going with this shit because the snap back is going to be significant.

131 Romantic Heretic  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:46:49pm

re: #129 Varek Raith

Oh, great.
Romulans or Gorn???
:P

Romulans. All us mammals look the same to them so they hardly notice.

132 goddamnedfrank  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:50:35pm

re: #127 EmmmieG

Wow. I don’t even know (and I’m not looking for an explanation) why that would be blocked.

I don’t even think I’m going to google it.

I’ll just go have another cookie. (They’re warm.)

Kurt Vonnegut explains the term in Breakfast of Champions, which is a book about Kilgore Trout.

and so it goes.

133 jvic  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 3:55:31pm

Dear Mr. Beck:

As you will learn in due course, your military friends have badly misinterpreted their sensor readings.

Stay succulent,

Cthulhu

134 maryatexitzero  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 4:09:51pm

re: #8 researchok

This conspiracy theory was first posted on Facebook about a week ago. It was also distributed through some newsgroups. Like an efficient virus it appears to have evolved and adapted to the needs of each host it has infected.

As far as I know, it originated in that fetid petri dish of conspiracy lunacy, Alex Jones’ Infowars site, with an article published by Wayne Masden.

Wayne Masden has made a career out of publishing anti-American and anti-government BS on conspiracy theory sites. He’s an equal opportunity hater, slandering Republicans and Democrats and even the royal family. He’s like David Icke without the lizard people. Madsen has published articles in the Village Voice, Counterpunch and on Infowars.

A guy who has publishing rights on CNN posted a video about this theory. The article was never vetted by CNN, but people who wanted to believe it for one reason or another took this as proof that the news was legit. It’s not. CNN will let anyone publish stuff on iReport. You can’t even look at a page without them begging you to join.

We already know that Beck is stealing craziness from Alex Jones. The First Post looks like a respectable publication, except for one little turd in the punchbowl - Alexander Cockburn, who edits the nutter publication “Counterpunch”

Unfortunately, when left wing sites and right wing sites publish the same unsubstantiated news, it starts to sound like the truth. I guess this is one example of how these things spread…

135 Our Precious Bodily Fluids  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 5:06:48pm

re: #9 Walter L. Newton

Funny… the video of the “event” didn’t fool anyone here on LGF… we all knew it was an airplane.

I see what you did there.

136 Egregious Philbin  Fri, Nov 19, 2010 10:32:53pm

Glenn Beck….what a joke. Ignorant drug addict sideshow moron.

But, this is good, it exposes him for the nut that he is.

137 William of Orange  Sat, Nov 20, 2010 2:37:10am

|I think CTW should be informed that their Kermit is begin violated by Glenn Beck. The only one who could enter Kermit’s rectum legally was Jim Henson…. ;-)

138 ihateronpaul  Sun, Nov 21, 2010 11:44:40am

re: #10 Amory Blaine

Maybe Beck and Alex Jones could have a morning drive time show together.

Heh, I think they would get pretty heated over 9-11


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