Top GOP Politicians Listen to Crackpot David Barton: ‘Jesus Opposed the Minimum Wage’

David Barton’s whacked-out theocratic alternate history
Wingnuts • Views: 28,514

Now under way in Iowa: the “Rediscovering God in America” conference, attended by most of the current top contenders for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination, including Michele Bachmann, Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich, and Haley Barbour, and featuring the religious right’s crackpot pseudo-historian David Barton. Here’s video from the event from Right Wing Watch, showing Barton explaining that all of our economic policies should be dictated by the Bible, because it’s all in there, every bit of it. Why, did you know that Jesus actually opposed the minimum wage?

Youtube Video

(h/t: iceweasel.)

Related
Glenn Beck Promotes Theocracy and Interviews David Barton - Speaker at Neo-Nazi Rallies

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249 comments
1 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:19:10pm

/jaw drop

2 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:19:28pm

The minimum wage of sin is death. Jesus set the price. Everyone knows that.

3 AK-47%  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:20:09pm

yes, but only minimum death...you get to come back after three days

4 The Mountain That Blogs  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:20:24pm

The only Biblical economic policy I know of talks a lot about helping the poor. In fact, I'm pretty sure it doesn't say anything other than "help the poor".

5 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:21:12pm

re: #4 The Mountain That Blogs

The only Biblical economic policy I know of talks a lot about helping the poor. In fact, I'm pretty sure it doesn't say anything other than "help the poor".

You forget the one about paying your taxes. You are to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's.

6 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:21:21pm

"And by properly analyzing Corinthians, we can see how pushing the tax burden down onto the poor and middle class and exempting the top 5% of earners, we can come closer to God's Plan on earth."

7 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:22:09pm

re: #5 EmmmieG

You forget the one about paying your taxes. You are to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's.

Caesar's will give you credit too.

8 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:23:55pm

Fuck Barton and his malicious, petty, and vindictive God.

9 elizajane  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:24:04pm

Up with David Barton, down with William Cronon, that's the way to spin history.

Have we been following Pawlenty's record of hastily shutting down a Muslim-friendly mortgage program in Minnesota, because it might in some sense have accomodated Sharia law? Evidently (who knew?) Muslims are against interest-taking and the mortgage program was structured to accomodate that.

Horrors! What anti-capitalist wretches would be against taking interest?

What? It's in the Bible? Well, we Christians decided to ignore that bit of the Bible five centuries ago, so the Muslims can learn to ignore it too, damn it.

///

[Link: www.politico.com...]

10 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:24:30pm

Any more talk about minimum wage and Jesus and poor old Newt Gingrich is going to be trolling for hookers to relieve some of that patriotic passion.

11 AK-47%  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:26:19pm

I will have to take the time to read those Biblical references and what theologians have to say on them...

12 Jaerik  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:27:12pm

The mental back flip argument goes something like this:

Jesus wanted everyone to help the poor.

But socialism doesn't work.

Therefore the only way to help the poor long-term is through capitalism.

And the way you "do your part" in capitalism is by being a greedy, self-interested bastard.

Therefore Jesus wants you to be a greedy, self-interested bastard.

13 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:28:31pm

How does he plan on implementing the taking of a few loaves and fishes and miraculously multiplying them?

'Cause really, I don't know ANY government agency that can do that.

14 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:28:49pm

re: #12 Jaerik

The mental back flip argument goes something like this:

Jesus wanted everyone to help the poor.

But socialism doesn't work.

Therefore the only way to help the poor long-term is through capitalism.

And the way you "do your part" in capitalism is by being a greedy, self-interested bastard.

Therefore Jesus wants you to be a greedy, self-interested bastard.

It reminds me of the rationalizations of people who beat their wives. "I only hit you because I love you too much not to."

15 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:28:51pm

re: #13 EmmmieG

Although the DMV can make time STREEEETCH out indefinitely.

16 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:32:00pm

re: #15 EmmmieG

Although the DMV can make time STREEETCH out indefinitely.

Which is good to remember when saying good bye to dying loved ones...just take them to the DMV and don't worry about rushing things.

17 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:32:55pm

Wow, Jesus sure does get around

18 Jaerik  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:33:15pm

re: #14 Fozzie Bear

It reminds me of the rationalizations of people who beat their wives. "I only hit you because I love you too much not to."

It's also all wrapped up in the prosperity gospel wackos as well.

19 Charles Johnson  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:34:25pm

The most powerful people in the GOP are all sitting there listening to this.

20 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:34:55pm

And another item for the "How crazy are these people?" list;

Funny Turnabout on Fluoridation


Fifty years ago, anybody who was against fluoridation was considered crazy. Yet today, dental and medical groups applauded the announcement. Anybody who fought the fluoridation battle in the 1950s can now feel vindicated by new research.

AHA! or something.

21 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:35:58pm

re: #19 Charles

The most powerful people in the GOP are all sitting there listening to this.

One good lightning strike and I'd be born again.

22 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:36:18pm

re: #20 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

You just want to sap and impurify her precious bodily fluids.

23 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:36:24pm

Hmm.

Let's see.

In Acts we read that the Saints "Had all things in common." (Acts 4:32-37)

In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ told his disciples not to worry about money, but to focus on the work.

He told them to pay their taxes.

In the Book of Malachi, we are told to pay our tithing.

The disciple James wants us to help the widows and fatherless.

Still looking for anything about the minimum wage. Not finding anything. Probably because there was no minimum wage back then, so he didn't say anything about it.

24 Shiplord Kirel  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:36:47pm

Jesus opposed the Capital Gains Tax? Who knew?

It's not at all alarming for a quack preacher to spout this kind of nonsense. He might as well say that Jesus favored poached eggs over scrambled.

What is alarming however, is that elected officials in this secular republic actually listen to him and give him a role in formulating policy.

25 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:37:32pm

re: #18 Jaerik

It's also all wrapped up in the prosperity gospel wackos as well.

And really how many of these guys are actually Christian and how many just figured out their angle

26 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:37:35pm

re: #19 Charles

The most powerful people in the GOP are all sitting there listening to this.

And they actually believe it.

27 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:37:52pm

re: #19 Charles

The most powerful people in the GOP are all sitting there listening to this.

and pretending they believe in witchcraft

28 celticdragon  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:38:04pm

I heard that Jesus also hated Medicaid, SCHIP, and WIC for poor pregnant women.

Also, that bit about a rich man, Heaven and a camel through the eye of a needle was mistranslated:

It should have read that those lazy, ungrateful, good fer nothin' malingerers who whine about being 'widows with children' or 'I've got leprosy' need to get off their assess and bootstrap themselves like John Galt if they want any chance to see the inside of the Pearly Gates.

The libruls also cut out the bit where Jesus talked about the invisible hand of the marketplace actually belonged to God, and that if Caesar cut the marginal tax rate then the Kingdom of Heaven would be on Earth.

29 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:38:04pm

But whatever you do, don't forget...

SHARIA!!!
SHARIA!!!
SHARIA!!!

30 celticdragon  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:38:43pm

re: #6 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

"And by properly analyzing Corinthians, we can see how pushing the tax burden down onto the poor and middle class and exempting the top 5% of earners, we can come closer to God's Plan on earth."

You beat me to it :)

31 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:38:46pm

re: #24 Shiplord Kirel

Jesus opposed the Capital Gains Tax? Who knew?

It's not at all alarming for a quack preacher to spout this kind of nonsense. He might as well say that Jesus favored poached eggs over scrambled.

What is alarming however, is that elected officials in this secular republic actually listen to him and give him a role in formulating policy.

I believe Jesus was very supportive of the dairy industry, especially cheesemakers. Does that mean Kraft should get more tax breaks? Or condemned for claiming certain borderline products are cheese, or cheese-like?

32 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:38:51pm

re: #24 Shiplord Kirel

Jesus opposed the Capital Gains Tax? Who knew?

It's not at all alarming for a quack preacher to spout this kind of nonsense. He might as well say that Jesus favored poached eggs over scrambled.

What is alarming however, is that elected officials in this secular republic actually listen to him and give him a role in formulating policy.

Marx is laughing his ass off in his grave. He so called this shit.

33 Jaerik  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:39:04pm

re: #25 WindUpBird

And really how many of these guys are actually Christian and how many just figured out their angle

It doesn't really matter. Calling yourself Christian is all it takes for a lot of people to blindly entrust you with the power to make economic decisions.

34 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:39:13pm

re: #29 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

But whatever you do, don't forget...

SHARIA!!!
SHARIA!!!
SHARIA!!!

I have it on good authority that the muslims are just running LOOSE in ohio, they're just unilaterally declaring Sharia law in downtown Cleveland, it's a disaster

35 tomg51spence  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:39:57pm

Some days its tough to be a social and fiscal conservative, and at the same time think that everyone at that conference is nuts. Beginning to think I'm in a party of about 30 people. Or at least with only the collective voice of about 30. Sheesh.

36 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:40:09pm

re: #33 Jaerik

It doesn't really matter. Calling yourself Christian is all it takes for a lot of people to blindly entrust you with the power to make economic decisions.

I should see if I can have a parallel Christian career, just claim that Christ is infused in everything I do, see if that just opens doors

37 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:41:18pm

re: #36 WindUpBird

I should see if I can have a parallel Christian career, just claim that Christ is infused in everything I do, see if that just opens doors

[egad] Mental image of a Twinkie wrapper with a "New and Improved! Infused with more Christ" label.

38 WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.]  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:42:38pm

re: #37 oaktree

[egad] Mental image of a Twinkie wrapper with a "New and Improved! Infused with more Christ" label.

I'll go all Kincade, and call my work "worship art"

39 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:43:40pm

re: #35 tomg51spence

Some days its tough to be a social and fiscal conservative, and at the same time think that everyone at that conference is nuts. Beginning to think I'm in a party of about 30 people. Or at least with only the collective voice of about 30. Sheesh.

The concept of "fiscal conservatism" is without referent in the United States today. It's a meaningless concept because it only has meaning in relative terms. "Less" government isn't a position, it's a vector. It only has meaning relative to the current policy position. This is one reason why the right never seems to be able to find balance. They can never have enough, because they don't have a goal other than "less". Less than what?

40 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:44:19pm

re: #36 WindUpBird

I should see if I can have a parallel Christian career, just claim that Christ is infused in everything I do, see if that just opens doors

I've got an old high school friend whom I've reconnected with on Facebook. Lost his business last year. Started a new one (Videographer)...ran a few yard sales via facebook. Has been posting videos of different churches he's been visiting trying to drum up business for his "studio"...and finally "accepted god's call" and announced he was going to start his own church. I hope it works out for him. There's good money in churches if you can get a small congregation of regulars to dump money in the collection plate.

41 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:45:15pm

re: #38 WindUpBird

I'll go all Kincade, and call my work "worship art"

Ah, trading all remaining integrity for financial gain...

42 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:45:26pm

re: #36 WindUpBird

I should see if I can have a parallel Christian career, just claim that Christ is infused in everything I do, see if that just opens doors

Christ infused vodka is pretty good, by the way.

43 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:45:31pm

re: #20 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

And another item for the "How crazy are these people?" list;

Funny Turnabout on Fluoridation

AHA! or something.

My dentist disagrees with the anti-fluoridation crowd. So does my pediatrician.

My kids take fluoride tables to make up for the lack of fluoridation in our water.

It costs $50 for a three-month supply. My thought is to wonder what happens to people who fall in between being able to afford $200 a year for fluoride and those who have medicare pay for it.

44 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:46:12pm

re: #40 darthstar

I've got an old high school friend whom I've reconnected with on Facebook. Lost his business last year. Started a new one (Videographer)...ran a few yard sales via facebook. Has been posting videos of different churches he's been visiting trying to drum up business for his "studio"...and finally "accepted god's call" and announced he was going to start his own church. I hope it works out for him. There's good money in churches if you can get a small congregation of regulars to dump money in the collection plate.

All you really need is a few regular suckers, and your bills are paid. Get a few more, and it's all gravy.

45 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:46:53pm

re: #39 Fozzie Bear

The concept of "fiscal conservatism" is without referent in the United States today. It's a meaningless concept because it only has meaning in relative terms. "Less" government isn't a position, it's a vector. It only has meaning relative to the current policy position. This is one reason why the right never seems to be able to find balance. They can never have enough, because they don't have a goal other than "less". Less than what?

Everyone else has less than you of course...
/

46 Killgore Trout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:47:05pm

If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any of the towns of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.

47 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:47:35pm

re: #44 Fozzie Bear

All you really need is a few regular suckers, and your bills are paid. Get a few more, and it's all gravy.

Just don't siphon the deep pockets off from your former church. Pastors get a bit edgy when they see the whales getting courted by others.

48 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:48:12pm

re: #37 oaktree

[egad] Mental image of a Twinkie wrapper with a "New and Improved! Infused with more Christ" label.

The creamy filling was endorsed by the Catholic Church.

49 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:48:14pm

re: #42 darthstar

Christ infused vodka is pretty good, by the way.

Does the bottle have a non-dissolved wafer in it, like the worm in a bottle of tequila?
/

50 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:49:17pm

re: #49 oaktree

Does the bottle have a non-dissolved wafer in it, like the worm in a bottle of tequila?
/

No, but drink five or six shots mixed with RedBull and you'll be ready to make a blind man lame.

51 Killgore Trout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:50:33pm

"Woe to those who enact evil statutes, and to those who continually record unjust decisions, so as to deprive the needy of justice, and rob the poor of My people of their rights... Now what will you do in the day of punishment, and in the devastation which will come from afar?"

52 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:52:06pm

re: #51 Killgore Trout

"Woe to those who enact evil statutes, and to those who continually record unjust decisions, so as to deprive the needy of justice, and rob the poor of My people of their rights... Now what will you do in the day of punishment, and in the devastation which will come from afar?"

Maybe they have a very strict definition of "my people", and everyone else is thus fair game?

53 Shiplord Kirel  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:52:22pm

Barton the quack claims Matthew 19:13-26 as the source for Jesus's opposition to the Capital Gains tax. This is the Parable of the Ten Minas and actually begins at verse 11:

(NIV) 11 While they were listening to this, he went on to tell them a parable, because he was near Jerusalem and the people thought that the kingdom of God was going to appear at once. 12 He said: “A man of noble birth went to a distant country to have himself appointed king and then to return. 13 So he called ten of his servants and gave them ten minas.[a] ‘Put this money to work,’ he said, ‘until I come back.’

14 “But his subjects hated him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We don’t want this man to be our king.’

15 “He was made king, however, and returned home. Then he sent for the servants to whom he had given the money, in order to find out what they had gained with it.

16 “The first one came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned ten more.’

17 “‘Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.’

18 “The second came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned five more.’

19 “His master answered, ‘You take charge of five cities.’

20 “Then another servant came and said, ‘Sir, here is your mina; I have kept it laid away in a piece of cloth. 21 I was afraid of you, because you are a hard man. You take out what you did not put in and reap what you did not sow.’

22 “His master replied, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! You knew, did you, that I am a hard man, taking out what I did not put in, and reaping what I did not sow? 23 Why then didn’t you put my money on deposit, so that when I came back, I could have collected it with interest?’

24 “Then he said to those standing by, ‘Take his mina away from him and give it to the one who has ten minas.’

25 “‘Sir,’ they said, ‘he already has ten!’

26 “He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 27 But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them—bring them here and kill them in front of me.’”

Reputable theologians, of course, interpret this as an admonition for Christian service and stewardship, not as a declaration of the sanctity of profit. The context was people sitting around waiting for the Kingdom of God to rather than working to expand the Kingdom in the here and now. It seems likely that Barton omitted verses 11-12 because they make this context clear.

54 Our Precious Bodily Fluids  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:53:03pm

How much does Barton have in his heavenly bank account?

Youtube Video
55 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:53:40pm

re: #39 Fozzie Bear

The concept of "fiscal conservatism" is without referent in the United States today. It's a meaningless concept because it only has meaning in relative terms. "Less" government isn't a position, it's a vector. It only has meaning relative to the current policy position. This is one reason why the right never seems to be able to find balance. They can never have enough, because they don't have a goal other than "less". Less than what?

You can never step into the same river of political BS twice.

56 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:53:44pm

re: #53 Shiplord Kirel

What does Jesus have to say about default credit swaps and liquidated assets?

57 Talking Point Detective  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:53:45pm

"anti-biblical taxes."

I have to post that a couple more times to grasp that someone actually uttered such a phrase.

"anti-biblical taxes."


"anti-biblical taxes."


"anti-biblical taxes."


Ok, I got it now. Completely fucking crazy.

58 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:53:53pm

Obviously several people have pointed out that the overwhelming economic sentiment of the Bible is: don't fuck with the poor, orphans, widows, or resident foreigners.

Having glanced through a few of the passages Barton throws up on his screen, none of them make reference to any kind of preferred economic system. He's blowing it out his ass. It would be easy to quote each passage he throws out there and demonstrate easily how the his "obvious teachings of the Bible" has no relationship to reality.

59 reine.de.tout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:54:18pm

GAWD, I want to scream or cry, I can't decide which.
Maybe I'll just do both.
WHY do they have to be so STUPID STUPID STUPID???

60 Velvet Elvis  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:54:44pm

Has anyone mentioned the rather obvious point that using a 2000 year old book as the basis for 21st century economic policy is just fucking silly?

61 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:55:16pm

Unfrozen Caveman lawyer comes across as more trustworthy and erudite than this guy.

62 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:56:06pm

re: #60 Conservative Moonbat

Has anyone mentioned the rather obvious point that using a 2000 year old book as the basis for 21st century economic policy is just fucking silly?

It hasn't stopped them in the scientific or historical fields.

63 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:56:36pm

re: #59 reine.de.tout

GAWD, I want to scream or cry, I can't decide which.
Maybe I'll just do both.
WHY do they have to be so STUPID STUPID STUPID???

Contrail drugs.

64 theheat  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:56:41pm

re: #19 Charles

And a whole lot of people who voted for them are going, "Fuck yeah!" That includes a lot of Christians that think this shit's the gospel.

And they want these people in power.

65 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:56:47pm

re: #60 Conservative Moonbat

Has anyone mentioned the rather obvious point that using a 2000 year old book as the basis for 21st century economic policy is just fucking silly?

Using it as the basis for ANYTHING other than to gain an understanding of ancient mythologies is fucking silly.

66 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:57:57pm

re: #62 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

It hasn't stopped them in the scientific or historical fields.

The only way you can convince them is actually quite simple. You wait until they have some kind of medical emergency and then hand them a bible and say, "Please open to the page that addresses this situation."

67 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:58:22pm

Next, we'll look at how Genesis proves that God loves unregulated offshore drilling in environmentally fragile ecosystems.

68 elizajane  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:58:43pm

re: #29 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

But whatever you do, don't forget...

SHARIA!!!
SHARIA!!!
SHARIA!!!

Isn't that a song by Blondie?

69 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 1:59:51pm

re: #68 elizajane

Isn't that a song by Blondie?

No. It was the Knack.

70 theheat  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:00:07pm

BTW, Curious Lurker has a magical prayer rug to climb aboard. And it's just the kind the GOP can get excited about. (Doesn't have Muslim cooties all over it.)

71 reine.de.tout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:00:07pm

re: #63 b_sharp

Contrail drugs.

I swear I could use some sort of drugs right now.
And I don't say that lightly.
I've had my fill today of dealing with STUPID STUPID STUPID.

At a shop today, bought something, total came to $13.44.
I gave her a $20, she did her thing on the cash register, and got the thing back telling her how much change I should get.

I then noticed I had 44 cents, and dug it out and handed it to her, so I could get $7 even back.

She looked at me like I was nuts, nuts I tell you! Because it might somehow mess up the cash register if she didn't give me my change in EXACTLY THE WAY the register was telling her to give it to me. That's exactly what she told me.

I have zero patience today.

72 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:01:13pm

re: #71 reine.de.tout

I swear I could use some sort of drugs right now.
And I don't say that lightly.
I've had my fill today of dealing with STUPID STUPID STUPID.

At a shop today, bought something, total came to $13.44.
I gave her a $20, she did her thing on the cash register, and got the thing back telling her how much change I should get.

I then noticed I had 44 cents, and dug it out and handed it to her, so I could get $7 even back.

She looked at me like I was nuts, nuts I tell you! Because it might somehow mess up the cash register if she didn't give me my change in EXACTLY THE WAY the register was telling her to give it to me. That's exactly what she told me.

I have zero patience today.

The societal value of education, if nothing else, is that you don't have to deal with as many fucking stupid people.

73 The Yankee  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:01:24pm

The most shocking thing about this Video is that there is no laughter at all coming from the audience.

74 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:01:33pm

re: #67 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Next, we'll look at how Genesis proves that God loves unregulated offshore drilling in environmentally fragile ecosystems.

The enraging this is that they would totally have the gall to say exactly this.

75 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:02:04pm

re: #73 The Yankee

The most shocking thing about this Video is that there is no laughter at all coming from the audience.

I envision a lot of sage nodding.

76 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:02:11pm

re: #74 gehazi

The enraging thing about this

77 Our Precious Bodily Fluids  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:02:18pm

re: #68 elizajane

Isn't that a song by Blondie?

Heart of Glass = 3 syllables
Sharia = 3 syallbles

GET CRACKIN', somebody.

78 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:02:59pm

re: #71 reine.de.tout

I swear I could use some sort of drugs right now.
And I don't say that lightly.
I've had my fill today of dealing with STUPID STUPID STUPID.

At a shop today, bought something, total came to $13.44.
I gave her a $20, she did her thing on the cash register, and got the thing back telling her how much change I should get.

I then noticed I had 44 cents, and dug it out and handed it to her, so I could get $7 even back.

She looked at me like I was nuts, nuts I tell you! Because it might somehow mess up the cash register if she didn't give me my change in EXACTLY THE WAY the register was telling her to give it to me. That's exactly what she told me.

I have zero patience today.

Hehe. I do this all the time.

Every so often I get this weird reaction when I give them bills and change where the change is not obviously the exact cents amount of the charge. Then they run the amount into the cash register and the change comes out to a round amount like $0.50 or $0.75. And then I get a look like I had just pulled some sort of magic trick.

79 Talking Point Detective  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:03:10pm

Derivatives and credit default swaps were put here on Earth by god so that the truly pious can attain their manifest destiny.

And don't forget, those who are poor (the majority of folks on the planet) are obviously being punished by god for their sins.

80 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:03:56pm

Jesus would seriously have despised these people. (I don't buy the bullshit that Jesus was some kind of perfectly loving soul who didn't know hate. He was a political rabblerouser, a radical, and you can be damn sure this type of shit enraged him. He didn't overturn the tables in the temple with beams of love. That was rage.)

81 Our Precious Bodily Fluids  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:03:59pm

re: #74 gehazi

The enraging this is that they would totally have the gall to say exactly this.

We've already heard that climate change is no biggie because God promised never to go apeshit and destroy the earth again.

82 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:04:04pm

OK, I'm just going to put this comment on speed dial to save time:

Holy shit.

83 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:04:19pm

re: #5 EmmmieG

You forget the one about paying your taxes. You are to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's.

So, help the poor, and pay your taxes.

This does not sound like this is going in a wingnut-friendly direction.

84 theheat  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:04:28pm

re: #71 reine.de.tout

Seriously, the last time I had to give a customer change was before the cash register told you how much to return in dollars and cents, so I had to count it out loud, backwards, like how it used to be done.

I could become easily confused unless I did it that way. I really think having the cash register tell you the amount is more confusing, because of what happened to you. People don't have to think anymore, and anything that varies is like throwing a major curve ball.

I also went to school before people could bring calculators to math class, but I digress.

85 SidewaysQuark  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:04:54pm

I was in denial a long time, but I've totally run out of reasons to vote Republican. Doesn't mean I have a sincere love for the Democrats, but the lesser of two evils has definitely made itself clear now. The antillectualism of the Right will not be judged well by tomorrow's historians.

86 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:04:59pm

re: #8 Fozzie Bear

Fuck Barton and his malicious, petty, and vindictive God.

Jerry Falwell's God

87 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:05:05pm

re: #71 reine.de.tout

I swear I could use some sort of drugs right now.
And I don't say that lightly.
I've had my fill today of dealing with STUPID STUPID STUPID.

At a shop today, bought something, total came to $13.44.
I gave her a $20, she did her thing on the cash register, and got the thing back telling her how much change I should get.

I then noticed I had 44 cents, and dug it out and handed it to her, so I could get $7 even back.

She looked at me like I was nuts, nuts I tell you! Because it might somehow mess up the cash register if she didn't give me my change in EXACTLY THE WAY the register was telling her to give it to me. That's exactly what she told me.

I have zero patience today.

I shouldn't laugh, but that is funny.

88 Velvet Elvis  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:05:09pm

re: #78 oaktree

Hehe. I do this all the time.

Every so often I get this weird reaction when I give them bills and change where the change is not obviously the exact cents amount of the charge. Then they run the amount into the cash register and the change comes out to a round amount like $0.50 or $0.75. And then I get a look like I had just pulled some sort of magic trick.

You work the dark arts of mental math.

89 reine.de.tout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:05:39pm

re: #84 theheat

Seriously, the last time I had to give a customer change was before the cash register told you how much to return in dollars and cents, so I had to count it out loud, backwards, like how it used to be done.

I could become easily confused unless I did it that way. I really think having the cash register tell you the amount is more confusing, because of what happened to you. People don't have to think anymore, and anything that varies is like throwing a major curve ball.

I also went to school before people could bring calculators to math class, but I digress.

ditto for me, all of it.

90 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:05:48pm

re: #71 reine.de.tout

I swear I could use some sort of drugs right now.
And I don't say that lightly.
I've had my fill today of dealing with STUPID STUPID STUPID.

At a shop today, bought something, total came to $13.44.
I gave her a $20, she did her thing on the cash register, and got the thing back telling her how much change I should get.

I then noticed I had 44 cents, and dug it out and handed it to her, so I could get $7 even back.

She looked at me like I was nuts, nuts I tell you! Because it might somehow mess up the cash register if she didn't give me my change in EXACTLY THE WAY the register was telling her to give it to me. That's exactly what she told me.

I have zero patience today.

Very sad, very frustrating, but not unusual. I'd say you should have spoken to the manager, but what's the point really. You spend another 15-20 minutes there and she still won't be able to count back change.

One of the gals at my favorite chicken place always asks me, "You have a nickel so we can make it an even $1.00?" Or something. Young girl, too. I always tell he she amazes me and another reason why it's one of my favorite eateries.

And to stay on topic, I wonder if Jesus was for or against counting back change :p

91 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:05:59pm

re: #79 Talking Point Detective

Derivatives and credit default swaps were put here on Earth by god so that the truly pious can attain their manifest destiny.

And don't forget, those who are poor (the majority of folks on the planet) are obviously being punished by god for their sins.

I personally never foresaw the story of the Good Samaritan as a biblical explanation of why public unions should be banned from collective bargining...

...in addition to showing that teaching scientific evolution in the school room turns childing in ravening liberals a decade later.
/

92 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:06:01pm

re: #75 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

I envision a lot of sage nodding.

Like what happens when people are asleep at the switch?

93 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:06:13pm

re: #71 reine.de.tout

I swear I could use some sort of drugs right now.
And I don't say that lightly.
I've had my fill today of dealing with STUPID STUPID STUPID.

At a shop today, bought something, total came to $13.44.
I gave her a $20, she did her thing on the cash register, and got the thing back telling her how much change I should get.

I then noticed I had 44 cents, and dug it out and handed it to her, so I could get $7 even back.

She looked at me like I was nuts, nuts I tell you! Because it might somehow mess up the cash register if she didn't give me my change in EXACTLY THE WAY the register was telling her to give it to me. That's exactly what she told me.

I have zero patience today.

I actually taught a young lady how to count change back when I was her customer. A year later she was working somewhere else and counted my change back to me with a big smile.

94 Shiplord Kirel  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:07:00pm

It's not in the video but Barton's source on the minimum wage is apparently the Parable of the Vineyard in Matthew 20.

Barton has indeed pulled his interpretation out of his ass.

95 reine.de.tout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:07:28pm

re: #80 Fozzie Bear

Jesus would seriously have despised these people. (I don't buy the bullshit that Jesus was some kind of perfectly loving soul who didn't know hate. He was a political rabblerouser, a radical, and you can be damn sure this type of shit enraged him. He didn't overturn the tables in the temple with beams of love. That was rage.)

Oh, please quit.
Really - we don't know that any more than we know that Jesus would have despised these taxes this guy is talking about.

96 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:07:41pm

re: #93 wrenchwench

I actually taught a young lady how to count change back when I was her customer. A year later she was working somewhere else and counted my change back to me with a big smile.

Awwwww. That's the smile of pride in one's knowledge and skills. I wish we could see more of that in today's young, and not so much despair.

97 Jadespring  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:07:44pm

re: #78 oaktree

Hehe. I do this all the time.

Every so often I get this weird reaction when I give them bills and change where the change is not obviously the exact cents amount of the charge. Then they run the amount into the cash register and the change comes out to a round amount like $0.50 or $0.75. And then I get a look like I had just pulled some sort of magic trick.

Hee. I do that too and sometimes get the same sort of reactions. The best was this young girl, I think she was new. She was so confused when I handed her the bill and some change. I just said calmly, "punch it in". She did and exclaimed when it came back and even ten in change "Wow. That's SO COOL. I didn't know you could do something like that!"

98 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:07:59pm

re: #92 b_sharp

Like what happens when people are asleep at the switch?

/nods sagely

99 Daniel Ballard  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:08:37pm

re: #59 reine.de.tout

When these guys have some little following or congregation, IMO it's just the high price we pay for these religious freedoms we all enjoy. After all there is another church just down the road, somewhere. I don't like it but it's not threatening at all to me.

But in this instance it's scary. Because nobody is going to follow up with these influential folks in the audience about how far off this man is, how he has twisted the verses for his own purposes. The take away will be this guy helps define policy if at a small level among all the DC push me pull you powers inside the beltway. The impressions will stick. There will no other "church" to set them straight.

See there are two lies here. One big one with the bible verses and another as a wolf in FisCon clothing. It's the other lie. He is neither a sincere Preacher nor real FisCon. Again just twisted to his purposes.

100 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:08:47pm

re: #95 reine.de.tout

Oh, please quit.
Really - we don't know that any more than we know that Jesus would have despised these taxes this guy is talking about.

I've read the new testament. Jesus had a pretty serious problem with people mixing business and religion, and that's exactly what these assholes are doing.

101 The Yankee  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:09:11pm

The one difference I became aware of growing up is that Conservative Christians always thought that Jesus either agreed with everything they did, and hated everyone they hated. The Liberal Christians thought that Jesus would forgive them for everything they did and hated no one.

102 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:09:15pm

re: #85 SidewaysQuark

I was in denial a long time, but I've totally run out of reasons to vote Republican. Doesn't mean I have a sincere love for the Democrats, but the lesser of two evils has definitely made itself clear now. The antillectualism of the Right will not be judged well by tomorrow's historians.

That's assuming we have some actual historians in the future.

103 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:09:21pm

re: #98 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

/nods sagely

Though even then some of the pilots will still land their planes.

104 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:09:29pm

re: #86 SanFranciscoZionist

Jerry Falwell's God

"Look, I'll tell you one thing Jesus would not do. Jesus would not wreck a guy's party."

105 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:09:30pm

I know the majority of folks on here are non or even anti-religious (at least it seems that way), but the depth of anger I have for this man cannot be contained, and I feel the need to respond in religious terms. He is maligning the name of God and the name of my savior with this evil.

He outright serves the devil, who is probably cheering uproariously that so many would-be followers of Christ are buying into this filth hook link and sinker.

By the way, here's a small taste of what the Bible has to say about economic oppression of the style favored and enabled by Barton:

Oppressors treat my people cruelly; creditors rule over them. My people’s leaders mislead them; they give you confusing directions. The LORD takes his position to judge; he stands up to pass sentence on his people. The LORD comes to pronounce judgment on the leaders of his people and their officials.

He says, “It is you who have ruined the vineyard! You have stashed in your houses what you have stolen from the poor. Why do you crush my people and grind the faces of the poor?”

The sovereign LORD who commands armies has spoken.

Isaiah 3:12-15

106 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:09:46pm

re: #100 Fozzie Bear

I've read the new testament. Jesus had a pretty serious problem with people mixing business and religion, and that's exactly what these assholes are doing.

Actually, they're mixing business, politics and religion.

107 reine.de.tout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:09:49pm

re: #93 wrenchwench

I actually taught a young lady how to count change back when I was her customer. A year later she was working somewhere else and counted my change back to me with a big smile.

You know, it's not rocket science. Even I know how to count back change, and gosh, I am seriously math challenged. But sheesh, that's just so basic.

108 iossarian  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:10:10pm

re: #100 Fozzie Bear

I've read the new testament. Jesus had a pretty serious problem with people mixing business and religion, and that's exactly what these assholes are doing.

We also know that he wanted people to "turn the other cheek".

I implore the readers of LGF to find me a Republican politician whose idea of foreign policy is to turn the other cheek.

109 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:10:43pm

re: #94 Shiplord Kirel

It's not in the video but Barton's source on the minimum wage is apparently the Parable of the Vineyard in Matthew 20.

Barton has indeed pulled his interpretation out of his ass.

Very interesting.

9 “The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. 10 So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. 11 When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. 12 ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’

13 “But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? 14 Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’ 16 “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Why is this a good thing? Isn't that kinda communistic? Everyone gets paid the same pay no matter how hard or how long they worked?

110 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:11:54pm

re: #106 darthstar

Actually, they're mixing business, politics and religion.

I can see no negative repercussions to that course of actions.

Now if you excuse me, I need to take these sleeping bills with a few shots of whiskey before my chainsaw juggling practice.

111 Our Precious Bodily Fluids  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:12:32pm

re: #71 reine.de.tout

I often enjoy watching exact-change / even-change scenarios play out at the grocery store.

Clerk: "That's $15.73, please"
Customer: "OK, for simplicity's sake, I'll give you $17.48"
Clerk: *head explodes*

112 reine.de.tout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:13:04pm

re: #90 marjoriemoon

. . .

And to stay on topic, I wonder if Jesus was for or against counting back change :p

hehe.
I honestly think He had a lot bigger things on his mind.

113 Shiplord Kirel  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:13:42pm

re: #109 marjoriemoon

Very interesting.

Why is this a good thing? Isn't that kinda communistic? Everyone gets paid the same pay no matter how hard or how long they worked?

It's about the Kingdom of God, in which all believers will be equal with no special status or rewards based on merit. Naturally, this would be anathema to a greedy bastard like Barton.

114 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:14:20pm

re: #107 reine.de.tout

You know, it's not rocket science. Even I know how to count back change, and gosh, I am seriously math challenged. But sheesh, that's just so basic.

It's just easier to use a debit card - everybody understands plastic.

115 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:14:25pm

re: #109 marjoriemoon

Very interesting.


Why is this a good thing? Isn't that kinda communistic? Everyone gets paid the same pay no matter how hard or how long they worked?

It is all point of view. Is the owner being generous by giving those who worked less as much as those who worked more? (e.g. He could have argued that he hired for a full day's work and they therefore deserve less.) Or is he being ungenerous to those he initially hired since he has apparently adjusted his offered work contract mid-day and given a higher hourly rate to the last ones he hired?

116 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:14:47pm

Republicans.

117 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:15:04pm

re: #114 b_sharp

It's just easier to use a debit card - everybody understands plastic.

I keep trying to use gold coins, but no one accepts them.

118 theheat  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:15:50pm

re: #117 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Try heritage seeds instead.
//

119 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:15:50pm

re: #108 iossarian

We also know that he wanted people to "turn the other cheek".

I implore the readers of LGF to find me a Republican politician whose idea of foreign policy is to turn the other cheek.

Are you talking facial cheek, or butt cheek?
From what I've seen, many are willing to show, not just one, but both butt cheeks.

120 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:16:41pm

re: #117 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

I keep trying to use gold coins, but no one accepts them.

The parrot on your shoulder that keeps squawking "Pieces of Eight! Pieces of Eight!" frightens them. That's why.

Or is if the constant offer to sell survivor seeds as well...

121 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:16:45pm

re: #26 darthstar

And they actually believe it.

They practically wrote it.

122 iossarian  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:17:29pm

Time for me to GTFO. Great weekends all round.

123 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:18:01pm

re: #117 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

I keep trying to use gold coins, but no one accepts them.

They need to talk to Beck.

124 The Yankee  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:18:05pm

re: #108 iossarian

We also know that he wanted people to "turn the other cheek".

I implore the readers of LGF to find me a Republican politician whose idea of foreign policy is to turn the other cheek.

I have found you 2: Ron Paul and son

125 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:18:26pm

re: #113 Shiplord Kirel

It's about the Kingdom of God, in which all believers will be equal with no special status or rewards based on merit. Naturally, this would be anathema to a greedy bastard like Barton.

Heaven? Interesting. Some people are more righteous than others. Good people still, but some better... I don't know how all that quite works out, but I don't believe we're all equal in heaven. What would be the point of being righteous then if I could just do the minimum amount? Or am I missing something.

126 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:18:58pm

re: #114 b_sharp

It's just easier to use a debit card - everybody understands plastic.

But nobody understands how evil the processors of plastic payments are to the merchant. I swear, dealing with credit card processors is the WORST part of being in business. Wayyy more intrusive and costly than the government.

127 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:18:59pm

re: #119 b_sharp

Are you talking facial cheek, or butt cheek?
From what I've seen, many are willing to show, not just one, but both butt cheeks.

It's the evil and advancing homosexual agenda! Oh, it's so scary I can't move! I'm just going to hover here in fear! Hey, where are you going? Come back!

128 The Yankee  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:19:55pm

re: #117 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

I keep trying to use gold coins, but no one accepts them.

Strippers do not like gold coins and they do not find it funny when you put them in the freezer before stuffing them down their g-string.

129 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:19:57pm

re: #125 marjoriemoon

Heaven? Interesting. Some people are more righteous than others. Good people still, but some better... I don't know how all that quite works out, but I don't believe we're all equal in heaven. What would be the point of being righteous then if I could just do the minimum amount? Or am I missing something.

Don't aim to get into Heaven, aim to be a big-wig in Hell. You'll have more fun.

130 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:20:00pm

re: #125 marjoriemoon

Heaven? Interesting. Some people are more righteous than others. Good people still, but some better... I don't know how all that quite works out, but I don't believe we're all equal in heaven. What would be the point of being righteous then if I could just do the minimum amount? Or am I missing something.

Or just act however you want and then do a sincere deatbed conversion.

131 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:20:24pm

re: #125 marjoriemoon

Heaven? Interesting. Some people are more righteous than others. Good people still, but some better... I don't know how all that quite works out, but I don't believe we're all equal in heaven. What would be the point of being righteous then if I could just do the minimum amount? Or am I missing something.

Naw, everyone knows Jesus totally advocates doing the bare minimum.

//Or were you being serious?

132 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:20:49pm

re: #124 The Yankee

I have found you 2: Ron Paul and son

I was going to say something about their credentials as Real Republicans ™ , but the party has welcomed them warmly.

133 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:22:05pm

re: #115 oaktree

It is all point of view. Is the owner being generous by giving those who worked less as much as those who worked more? (e.g. He could have argued that he hired for a full day's work and they therefore deserve less.) Or is he being ungenerous to those he initially hired since he has apparently adjusted his offered work contract mid-day and given a higher hourly rate to the last ones he hired?

But an hourly wage is an hourly wage for work done. $X amount per hour.

Aside from the argument that not everyone is paid equal, they certainly should be. If you pay $5.00 and work 2 hours, you get $10.00. Fair wage. But, as we know, if the wage was $5.00, the women would be getter $3.00 hehe.

Anyway, he wants to be generous because Mike did a better job that Dave, he can give Dave an extra $5.00 bonus.

134 Fozzie Bear  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:22:16pm

re: #128 The Yankee

Strippers do not like gold coins and they do not find it funny when you put them in the freezer before stuffing them down their g-string.

MUCH worse than a tongue on a flagpole.

135 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:23:33pm

re: #131 gehazi

Naw, everyone knows Jesus totally advocates doing the bare minimum.

//Or were you being serious?

I have no clue if I'm serious LOL Kinda but not really.

136 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:24:46pm

re: #134 Fozzie Bear

MUCH worse than a tongue on a flagpole.

Depends on how recently a wax job was done.

137 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:24:56pm

re: #131 gehazi

Naw, everyone knows Jesus totally advocates doing the bare minimum.

//Or were you being serious?

What was Jesus' opinion on the right to bare arms though?

Might be related to minimum tanning limits.

138 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:25:04pm

re: #133 marjoriemoon

But an hourly wage is an hourly wage for work done. $X amount per hour.

Aside from the argument that not everyone is paid equal, they certainly should be. If you pay $5.00 and work 2 hours, you get $10.00. Fair wage. But, as we know, if the wage was $5.00, the women would be getter $3.00 hehe.

Anyway, he wants to be generous because Mike did a better job that Dave, he can give Dave an extra $5.00 bonus.

Er Mike, not Dave. Oops.

I'd really like to understand Barton's twisted little mind, but I'm not getting it.

139 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:25:39pm

re: #125 marjoriemoon

Heaven? Interesting. Some people are more righteous than others. Good people still, but some better... I don't know how all that quite works out, but I don't believe we're all equal in heaven. What would be the point of being righteous then if I could just do the minimum amount? Or am I missing something.

I got "saved" in the ninth grade once everyone convinced me it was a one-time thing and once I'd done it I wouldn't have to do it again. I called it eternal insurance. Made the teachers at Grace Baptist High School so happy...they actually stopped beating me for a few weeks (I was a lone Catholic in that school).

140 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:26:23pm

re: #138 marjoriemoon

Er Mike, not Dave. Oops.

I'd really like to understand Barton's twisted little mind, but I'm not getting it.

Three parts Geller, two parts Breitbart, and a twist of Palin.

141 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:26:31pm

re: #129 b_sharp

Don't aim to get into Heaven, aim to be a big-wig in Hell. You'll have more fun.

I have an evangelist friend, whenever she hears about a sinner, she exclaims, "I see a shovel with his name on it!" Always makes me giggle.

142 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:26:58pm

re: #139 darthstar

I got "saved" in the ninth grade once everyone convinced me it was a one-time thing and once I'd done it I wouldn't have to do it again. I called it eternal insurance. Made the teachers at Grace Baptist High School so happy...they actually stopped beating me for a few weeks (I was a lone Catholic in that school).

Was that with the 20 sided die, or the 12 sided die?

143 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:27:10pm

re: #24 Shiplord Kirel

Jesus opposed the Capital Gains Tax? Who knew?

It's not at all alarming for a quack preacher to spout this kind of nonsense. He might as well say that Jesus favored poached eggs over scrambled.

What is alarming however, is that elected officials in this secular republic actually listen to him and give him a role in formulating policy.

Something tells me that Jesus wouldn't have been for capital gains taxes only because he would have been flat out against capital gains to begin with. My other guess would also be that Jesus would have been for a minimum wage for everybody.

144 garhighway  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:27:13pm

re: #19 Charles

The most powerful people in the GOP are all sitting there listening to this.

Zombie Reagan?

145 Killgore Trout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:28:33pm

re: #94 Shiplord Kirel

It's not in the video but Barton's source on the minimum wage is apparently the Parable of the Vineyard in Matthew 20.

Barton has indeed pulled his interpretation out of his ass.

Interesting. Seems like the vineyard owner was a bit of a dick about it

146 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:29:15pm

re: #144 garhighway

Barton already said that he was telling people what Jesus believed...how else would he have figured out exactly how to turn the text upside-down if not consulting with the man Himself?

147 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:29:33pm

re: #133 marjoriemoon

But an hourly wage is an hourly wage for work done. $X amount per hour.

Aside from the argument that not everyone is paid equal, they certainly should be. If you pay $5.00 and work 2 hours, you get $10.00. Fair wage. But, as we know, if the wage was $5.00, the women would be getter $3.00 hehe.

Anyway, he wants to be generous because Mike did a better job that Dave, he can give Dave an extra $5.00 bonus.

My bet is that the owner didn't have any asses on hand, did not want to spend time going to get change, and therefore simply opted to pay everyone out of the denarii he had on hand.

* - Asses are plural as. The Roman coin that was lower in denomination that the denarius. The denarius (containing 10) was originally valued at 10 asses. ;)

148 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:29:38pm

I wonder if Newt is really listening or if he's busy planning his next 'patriotic duty'?

149 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:30:42pm

re: #147 oaktree

My bet is that the owner didn't have any asses on hand, did not want to spend time going to get change, and therefore simply opted to pay everyone out of the denarii he had on hand.

* - Asses are plural as. The Roman coin that was lower in denomination that the denarius. The denarius (containing 10) was originally valued at 10 asses. ;)

Ahh you very smart, grasshopper.

150 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:31:22pm

It's funny how these people are always talking about "Political Islam" yet they turn around and promote their own version of "Political Christianity".

151 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:31:28pm

re: #109 marjoriemoon

Very interesting.

Why is this a good thing? Isn't that kinda communistic? Everyone gets paid the same pay no matter how hard or how long they worked?

I think it's another analogy to the kingdom of heaven, rather than a fiscal policy. The economic unfairness is supposed to startle the listener into considering the theological concept.

152 AK-47%  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:31:39pm

Sticker on Roman chariot:

Gassus, grassus or asses: nobody rides for free!!!

153 The Yankee  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:32:58pm

The GOP can't deal with the fact that Jesus is a lefty.

154 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:33:05pm

re: #147 oaktree

My bet is that the owner didn't have any asses on hand, did not want to spend time going to get change, and therefore simply opted to pay everyone out of the denarii he had on hand.

* - Asses are plural as. The Roman coin that was lower in denomination that the denarius. The denarius (containing 10) was originally valued at 10 asses. ;)

That puts a different spin on Jesus riding an as.

155 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:33:08pm

re: #151 SanFranciscoZionist

I think it's another analogy to the kingdom of heaven, rather than a fiscal policy. The economic unfairness is supposed to startle the listener into considering the theological concept.

I hold that my interpretation is at least as valid as Barton's. ^_^

156 AK-47%  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:33:16pm

re: #150 Gus 802

It's funny how these people are always talking about "Political Islam" yet they turn around and promote their own version of "Political Christianity".


These are people who believe their Holy Scriptures are to be taken literally and in their entirety.

And to be applied mercilessly and without exception, even against other people's wills, for these are infidels who must be brought to see the light of God/Allah, etc...

157 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:33:31pm

re: #155 oaktree

I hold that my interpretation is at least as valid as Barton's. ^_^

When you put it that way...

158 darthstar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:33:35pm

re: #152 ralphieboy

Sticker on Roman chariot:

Gassus, grassus or asses: nobody rides for free!!!

Gassvs, grassvs or assvs... FTFV

159 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:33:46pm

re: #152 ralphieboy

Sticker on Roman chariot:

Gassus, grassus or asses: nobody rides for free!!!

Spring Break: Gaul 57

160 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:34:52pm

re: #146 gehazi

Barton already said that he was telling people what Jesus believed...how else would he have figured out exactly how to turn the text upside-down if not consulting with the man Himself?

Btw, I'm also A Believer (though not Christian) who gets really cranky when folks start acting like they have a hotline to God. Or an IPhone. I think God must have an IPhone.

161 The Left  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:36:03pm

Cool, a hat tip! Thanks, Charles.

This video really freaked me out. I'm glad more people will see it now.

162 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:36:06pm

re: #156 ralphieboy

These are people who believe their Holy Scriptures are to be taken literally and in their entirety.

And to be applied mercilessly and without exception, even against other people's wills, for these are infidels who must be brought to see the light of [Corporate America], etc...

Just a bit of renovation.

163 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:37:09pm

re: #160 marjoriemoon

Btw, I'm also A Believer (though not Christian) who gets really cranky when folks start acting like they have a hotline to God. Or an IPhone. I think God must have an IPhone.

God spends all his time playing WoW. He has no time for silly monkeys.

164 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:37:19pm

Coming up next! David Barton and why Jesus would have supported debtors prisons.

Republican presidential hopefuls attend.

Film @ 11.

/

165 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:37:57pm

re: #151 SanFranciscoZionist

I think it's another analogy to the kingdom of heaven, rather than a fiscal policy. The economic unfairness is supposed to startle the listener into considering the theological concept.

A little further down I mentioned that even so, it still wouldn't make sense. We are not all equal in heaven. Some people are more righteous than others. Why should they treated the same? If they're all treated the same, why should you strive to be better if the minimum is all you need?

I realize Judaism views heaven in a completely different way, but I'm trying to understand this POV.

166 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:37:59pm

re: #154 b_sharp

That puts a different spin on Jesus riding an as.

Or a Roman Emperor's head being engraved on the front of an as. Though I guess that's better than the rear side. [da da dum]

Have a good weekend folks. Time to commute home and fix dinner. Tip your waiter and try the veal.

167 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:38:16pm

re: #160 marjoriemoon

Btw, I'm also A Believer (though not Christian) who gets really cranky when folks start acting like they have a hotline to God. Or an IPhone. I think God must have an IPhone.

Youtube Video
168 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:39:33pm

re: #155 oaktree

I hold that my interpretation is at least as valid as Barton's. ^_^

For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.

This is a parable. It's not a story about how you set wages.

Who taught these guys to read the Bible, anyway?

169 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:39:38pm

Gotta jet. Catch up to you guys later.

170 AK-47%  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:39:58pm

Jesus is also against National Public Radio. The Bible tells us so.

In other news, seven Republican reps voted against Jesus:

Representatives Sean Duffy, R-Wis.; Chris Gibson, R-N.Y.; Richard Hanna, R-N.Y.; Steven LaTourette, R-Ohio; Dave Reichert, R-Wash.; Pat Tiberi, R-Ohio; and Rob Woodall, R-Ga., voted to keep funding NPR with American tax dollars.

They will fry in hell for this unless they repent...

171 What, me worry?  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:40:14pm

re: #168 SanFranciscoZionist

For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.

This is a parable. It's not a story about how you set wages.

Who taught these guys to read the Bible, anyway?

As above, so below?

172 albusteve  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:41:20pm

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

173 Achilles Tang  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:41:53pm

re: #168 SanFranciscoZionist

For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.

This is a parable. It's not a story about how you set wages.

Who taught these guys to read the Bible, anyway?

They learned it from trying to read the constitution.

174 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:42:12pm

re: #165 marjoriemoon

A little further down I mentioned that even so, it still wouldn't make sense. We are not all equal in heaven. Some people are more righteous than others. Why should they treated the same? If they're all treated the same, why should you strive to be better if the minimum is all you need?

I realize Judaism views heaven in a completely different way, but I'm trying to understand this POV.

There are a variety of views on this point in Christian theology, but the passage in question is not attempting to say that all are equal in heaven, but that all are equal in so far as they are welcomed into heaven. Regardless of how long the laborers work, the most important reward they receive (entrance into heaven) is the same, and none of them has earned it by their work (which all amounts to a pittance), so the reward is equally unfairly given to each.

175 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:42:58pm

Clunk...

@SimonMaloy
Beck guest: "There is no doubt that the Protocols [of the Elders of Zion] accurately describe much of what is happening in our world today"

176 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:43:18pm

re: #165 marjoriemoon

A little further down I mentioned that even so, it still wouldn't make sense. We are not all equal in heaven. Some people are more righteous than others. Why should they treated the same? If they're all treated the same, why should you strive to be better if the minimum is all you need?

I realize Judaism views heaven in a completely different way, but I'm trying to understand this POV.

It's rooted in the concept of salvation in Christianity, but to actually get it, I'd ask someone who understands Christian theology a lot better than I do. The kingdom of heaven, as described by Jesus, just sprains my brain.

177 AK-47%  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:44:39pm

re: #174 gehazi


As kids in Catholic Sunday school, we all decided that we wanted to die as martyrs, because you could live the most decadent, sinful life you wanted, but if you died a martyr to God in the end, you got into heaven regardless.

178 Jadespring  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:45:10pm

re: #171 marjoriemoon

As above, so below?

That which is Below corresponds to that which is Above, and that which is Above corresponds to that which is Below, to accomplish the miracle of the One Thing

179 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:45:33pm

re: #160 marjoriemoon

Btw, I'm also A Believer (though not Christian) who gets really cranky when folks start acting like they have a hotline to God. Or an IPhone. I think God must have an IPhone.

I'm sure there's an app for that.

180 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:46:16pm

re: #176 SanFranciscoZionist

It's rooted in the concept of salvation in Christianity, but to actually get it, I'd ask someone who understands Christian theology a lot better than I do. The kingdom of heaven, as described by Jesus, just sprains my brain.

Sorry, I can't help you. All theology just pours right through my brain, with nary a trace (sometimes it leaves a cracker for my lunch).

181 Achilles Tang  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:46:51pm

re: #177 ralphieboy

As kids in Catholic Sunday school, we all decided that we wanted to die as martyrs, because you could live the most decadent, sinful life you wanted, but if you died a martyr to God in the end, you got into heaven regardless.

I was never Catholic, but that sure sounds familiar...//

182 AK-47%  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:46:56pm

re: #176 SanFranciscoZionist

It's rooted in the concept of salvation in Christianity, but to actually get it, I'd ask someone who understands Christian theology a lot better than I do. The kingdom of heaven, as described by Jesus, just sprains my brain.


The point of a lot of these parables, like that of the Prodigal Son ("why is the father more pleased to see a son who left and returned than to see the son who stayed there the whole time?"), is that Divine Justice and the Kingdom of Heaven are not at all comparable to earthly concepts of justice and just rewards.

But Jesus' view of fiscal policy was spot-on and fully in line with the GOP position...

183 zora  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:47:14pm

re: #165 marjoriemoon

A little further down I mentioned that even so, it still wouldn't make sense. We are not all equal in heaven. Some people are more righteous than others. Why should they treated the same? If they're all treated the same, why should you strive to be better if the minimum is all you need?

I realize Judaism views heaven in a completely different way, but I'm trying to understand this POV.


it's from the point of view that we all fall short (no matter how outwardly righteous) and the grace of god makes up the deficit.

184 goddamnedfrank  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:47:41pm

re: #128 The Yankee

Strippers do not like gold coins and they do not find it funny when you put them in the freezer before stuffing them down their g-string.

My preferred currency is chickens stuffed with ammunition, am banned for life from most clubs in North America.

185 b_sharp  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:48:26pm

When the Myth Busters get to Heaven, you think they get to blow really big shit up? You know, like stars and galaxies?

That would be so cool.

186 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:48:51pm

re: #175 Gus 802

Clunk...

@SimonMaloy
Beck guest: "There is no doubt that the Protocols [of the Elders of Zion] accurately describe much of what is happening in our world today"

Motherfuckers.

187 Killgore Trout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:49:12pm

Glenn Beck Hosts Alex Jones-Approved "Legend"


Tonight, Beck's lead guest is G. Edward Griffin, a 9-11 truther (and John Birch Society member) whom Alex Jones has called a "trailblazer" and a "legend in the alternative media New World Order resistance movement. One of the last living icons, the great-grandaddies in the fight." Here's a fawning 90-minute interview Jones conducted with Griffin:
188 AK-47%  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:49:27pm

Jesus hates unions, too.

[Link: www.newsmax.com...]

189 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:49:29pm

re: #186 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Motherfuckers.

Word's just getting out. And Glenn Beck didn't even say anything.

190 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:50:02pm

Have we already been told that Jesus opposed the single payer system? I'm guessing....yes.

191 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:50:08pm

re: #180 b_sharp

Sorry, I can't help you. All theology just pours right through my brain, with nary a trace (sometimes it leaves a cracker for my lunch).

Actually, a big thing to remember when looking at the parables is that they aren't intended to be theological treatises, and most attempts to pry some specific theological doctrine out of them are doomed to failure. They are stories first and foremost, designed to startle people into thinking about God in a different way.

Which makes Barton's despicable purpose almost lulworthy, if it wasn't so evil.

192 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:50:33pm

re: #186 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Motherfuckers.

Was this the TV show or the radio? Links? Info?

193 Killgore Trout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:50:38pm

re: #175 Gus 802

Clunk...

@SimonMaloy
Beck guest: "There is no doubt that the Protocols [of the Elders of Zion] accurately describe much of what is happening in our world today"

It'll be interesting to see how this goes. If this doesn't sink beck nothing will. I don't think he's ever gone this far before.

194 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:51:56pm

re: #190 Jimmah

Have we already been told that Jesus opposed the single payer system? I'm guessing...yes.

I'm not sure that you can count on a man who heals the sick and the lame by laying hands on them to have a nuanced plan for how this should work under ordinary circumstances.

("And he made the lame to walk. I mean, these were my friends, so they were still lame, but they could walk!!)

195 Killgore Trout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:52:21pm

G. Edward Griffin

196 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:52:22pm

re: #193 Killgore Trout

It'll be interesting to see how this goes. If this doesn't sink beck nothing will. I don't think he's ever gone this far before.

Excuses will be made.

197 CuriousLurker  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:53:35pm

re: #190 Jimmah

Have we already been told that Jesus opposed the single payer system? I'm guessing...yes.

Pay attention please: Jesus (a.s.) opposed anything & everything that the wingnuts currently oppose (or might oppose in the future).

Sheesh, to I have to spell out everything for you? //

198 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:54:16pm

re: #193 Killgore Trout

It'll be interesting to see how this goes. If this doesn't sink beck nothing will. I don't think he's ever gone this far before.

Didn't he get in a similar mess the other week and give a self aggrandising apology?

199 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:54:25pm

re: #187 Killgore Trout

Glenn Beck Hosts Alex Jones-Approved "Legend"

Is Griffin the one who referred to the Protocols on Beck? That would not be surprising, since he has a book that goes full on Bilderberger Conspiracy.

200 The Left  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 2:54:29pm

re: #190 Jimmah

Have we already been told that Jesus opposed the single payer system? I'm guessing...yes.

It's not taking long to find-- from a crazy tea party site:

Obama, Jesus and Health Care - Tea Party Address 9.12.09

The obvious intent of Mr. Obama’s reference (my brother's keeper--ice) was to use the Word of God as a tool of intimidation. In other words, Mr. Obama was insinuating to these Preachers and Rabbis, who seek daily the face and heart of God, that to speak ill of his health care plan is to disavow your calling -- holy man -- holy woman – to care for the sick. In my opinion, such can only be categorized as convoluted thinking intending toward coercion and intentional, selfish and arrogant misuse of Holy Scripture. Mr. President, you should be ashamed ..!!!

Were I to have the opportunity of answering that question --- Am I my brother's keeper ..??-- face-to-face, my answer would be, "No, Mr. President …! I am not my brother's keeper."

201 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:00:28pm

re: #200 iceweasel

"No, Mr. President …! I am not my brother's keeper."

Awesome. All it takes to get wingnuts to openly rant against the words of Jesus is for Obama to make some use of them.

202 The Left  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:00:32pm

From the same source:

[wingnut] Jesus was a man of compassion. His heart cried out for the hurting, the lost and the sick. Now … listen to me …. when five thousand were hungry, Mr. President, he fed them with loaves and fishes " freely given" by a little boy. Jesus never took a shekel from anyone's pocket by threat of law --- or by quote of scripture --- to feed the hungry or heal the sick. Would to God, Mr. President, you could see the difference. [wingnut]

So basically Obama is a bad president because he can't reproduce the miracle of the loaves and fishes? Are we at the point now where Jesus is our President?

203 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:01:32pm

re: #187 Killgore Trout

Glenn Beck Hosts Alex Jones-Approved "Legend"

You can read his lunacy here:

ARE JEWS AND MASONS AND JESUITS CONSPIRING TO CONTROL THE WORLD?
© 2004 - 2009 by G. Edward Griffin. Updated 2009 January 28

204 Sheila Broflovski  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:02:01pm

re: #165 marjoriemoon

A little further down I mentioned that even so, it still wouldn't make sense. We are not all equal in heaven. Some people are more righteous than others. Why should they treated the same? If they're all treated the same, why should you strive to be better if the minimum is all you need?

I realize Judaism views heaven in a completely different way, but I'm trying to understand this POV.

Christianity teaches: Nobody is good enough to get into Heaven.
Judaism teaches: Nobody is bad enough to get into Hell.

205 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:02:22pm

re: #203 Gus 802

Good work.

206 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:02:53pm

re: #202 iceweasel

Are we at the point now where Jesus is our President?

If only... He'd kick ass in Libya and destroy Iran as an afterthought! Buy gold!

207 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:05:16pm

re: #201 Jimmah

Awesome. All it takes to get wingnuts to openly rant against the words of Jesus is for Obama to make some use of them.

I'll have to try that some time on my in-laws...

1. Quote an obscure but relevant passage from scripture
2. Claim that it came from a recent speech by Obama
3. Sit patiently through their ranting
4. Explain that surprise! it's really from the Bible
5. ???
6. And, of course, profit. Like a good christian.

208 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:07:17pm

re: #202 iceweasel

From the same source:

Jesus was a man of compassion. His heart cried out for the hurting, the lost and the sick. Now … listen to me …. when five thousand were hungry, Mr. President, he fed them with loaves and fishes " freely given" by a little boy. Jesus never took a shekel from anyone's pocket by threat of law --- or by quote of scripture --- to feed the hungry or heal the sick. Would to God, Mr. President, you could see the difference.

So basically Obama is a bad president because he can't reproduce the miracle of the loaves and fishes? Are we at the point now where Jesus is our President?

This kind of compassion is for Jesus and JESUS ALONE. You are NOT, under any circumstances, to think that he was trying to set some sort of example - that would result in socialism.

209 Mocking Jay  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:08:59pm

re: #1 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

/jaw drop

You've gone way over the line when Kragar doesn't know what to say.

210 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:09:52pm

re: #203 Gus 802

You can read his lunacy here:

ARE JEWS AND MASONS AND JESUITS CONSPIRING TO CONTROL THE WORLD?
© 2004 - 2009 by G. Edward Griffin. Updated 2009 January 28

Shorter Griffin on the Protocols: Fake but accurate.

211 Kragar  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:09:58pm

re: #209 JasonA

You've gone way over the line when Kragar doesn't know what to say.

I got better.

212 Mocking Jay  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:10:55pm

re: #211 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

I got better.

You were momentarily dazed and confused. No small feat.

213 Killgore Trout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:11:11pm

re: #203 Gus 802

You can read his lunacy here:

ARE JEWS AND MASONS AND JESUITS CONSPIRING TO CONTROL THE WORLD?
© 2004 - 2009 by G. Edward Griffin. Updated 2009 January 28


Looks like he's going for the "Fake but accurate" argument...

The Protocols is a blueprint for world government based on the model of collectivism. Therefore, we need to oppose it no matter who wrote it. If we can dismantle collectivism, no conspiracy such as described could succeed, because that is the mechanism modern totalitarians must have to function. On the other hand, if we do not dismantle collectivism, we will be enslaved by someone, and it will make little difference who it is. Everyone who seeks to take away our freedom is our enemy, regardless of race or ethnic background. Let’s keep that fact uppermost in all we do in this struggle. Collectivists are our enemy, no one else. Collectivists come in all sizes, colors, religions, and nationalities. They belong to different groups and groups within groups. Some are Jews, some are Christians, some are Blacks, some are Orientals, some are Caucasians, some are Leninists, and some are Rhodesians. But they are all determined to create a world order based on the model of collectivism. If they succeed, we will be but surfs in a high-tech feudalism with them as our lords and masters. We must not let them succeed.
214 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:11:42pm

re: #213 Killgore Trout

Jinx!

215 Killgore Trout  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:12:09pm

re: #210 wrenchwench

Shorter Griffin on the Protocols: Fake but accurate.

Heh, I wish I was your synopsis before I bothered reading it. Would have saved a lot of time.

216 The Left  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:13:31pm

re: #208 Jimmah

Mr. President … Jesus was not a socialist ..!!! Millions across this land --- with good hearts and good intentions --- have been convinced that Jesus was a socialist ..!! Its spouted from our universities -- and sadly – even from some of our seminaries. Well educated men and women, who should know better, point to Jesus who fed the hungry and healed the sick and say, “See, Jesus was first and foremost a socialist in His thinking and ministry,” I suggest to you that to labor under that thought is to show one's ignorance of either the true meaning of socialism or the true essence of Jesus … or both.

217 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:13:44pm

re: #215 Killgore Trout

Heh, I wish I was your synopsis before I bothered reading it. Would have saved a lot of time.

Same here. We need to organize some kind of division of labor. Who is going to read that IPT response to my Emerson page so I don't have to? (I started...)

218 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:13:59pm

re: #213 Killgore Trout

Looks like he's going for the "Fake but accurate" argument...

We now await to hear a response from Fox News, Glenn Beck fans and right wing bloggers.

[crickets]

219 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:16:16pm

re: #216 iceweasel

I particularly like the wholesale lack of any substance that would explain why Jesus is not a socialist. It's just: "you're ignorant!"

220 gehazi  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:17:39pm

re: #24 Shiplord Kirel

Jesus opposed the Capital Gains Tax? Who knew?

It's not at all alarming for a quack preacher to spout this kind of nonsense. He might as well say that Jesus favored poached eggs over scrambled.

What is alarming however, is that elected officials in this secular republic actually listen to him and give him a role in formulating policy.

Jesus is also against pissing standing up. Weird guy, right?

221 The Left  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:19:11pm

I'm not familiar with this site, but mentions of Chuck norris are always good:

Chuck Norris: Obama's Health Care System Would Kill Baby Jesus

In a column for the conservative-biased Human Events blog Chuck Norris penned an article insinuating that Obama's health care system would have killed baby Jesus. In the column Norris claimed that Jesus would have been one of the "many great souls who could have been erased from history" had "Obamacare" been in place during the time of Jesus' birth. Norris states that Mary's position as an unwed pregnant teen would have left her aborting the Christ child.

Norris brought the inevitable "War on Christmas" to Obama's long standing health care debate, setting up a fictional scenario to set the scene:

Lastly, as we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington's wise men and women! Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?

222 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:20:32pm

re: #202 iceweasel

From the same source:

[wingnut] Jesus was a man of compassion. His heart cried out for the hurting, the lost and the sick. Now … listen to me …. when five thousand were hungry, Mr. President, he fed them with loaves and fishes " freely given" by a little boy. Jesus never took a shekel from anyone's pocket by threat of law --- or by quote of scripture --- to feed the hungry or heal the sick. Would to God, Mr. President, you could see the difference. [wingnut]

So basically Obama is a bad president because he can't reproduce the miracle of the loaves and fishes? Are we at the point now where Jesus is our President?

Well, Savonarola declared him King of Florence.

When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still need to do one thing. Sell everything you have and give the money to the destitute, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come back and follow me."

I have to say, it simply icks me out to hear these guys prattle on as though charity were optional. Nowhere in the Bible does it say "Care for the widow and the orphan at your own discretion."

They say they don't want the government involved? Fine, I disagree, but that's a reasonable stance. One that crumbles when they come along saying they want God in our public life, and trying to pass laws to force religious sexual morality on others.

223 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:20:35pm

re: #197 CuriousLurker

Pay attention please: Jesus (a.s.) opposed anything & everything that the wingnuts currently oppose (or might oppose in the future).

Sheesh, to I have to spell out everything for you? //

I think at some level in their brains, a lot of wingnuts must recognise that no, Jesus was NOT some mad ranting fiscal conservative with a burning desire to see Obama's BC (long form), and as a result they secretly hate him.

224 Mocking Jay  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:21:06pm

re: #221 iceweasel

How I read it:

Obamacare can kill God!

225 The Left  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:22:40pm

re: #224 JasonA

How I read it:

Obamacare can kill God!

First they came for the Supreme Beings, and i said nothing....

226 Sheila Broflovski  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:23:13pm

re: #213 Killgore Trout

Looks like he's going for the "Fake but accurate" argument...

"Collectivist" keyword is Ayn Randy.

227 Mocking Jay  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:23:50pm

re: #226 Alouette

"Collectivist" keyword is Ayn Randy.

Jesus = Looter?

228 SanFranciscoZionist  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:24:34pm

re: #213 Killgore Trout

Looks like he's going for the "Fake but accurate" argument...

RHODESIANS?

When did he write this?

229 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:28:37pm

Vatican complains that bigotry isn't sacred any more:

GENEVA (Reuters) - People who criticise gay sexual relations for religious or moral reasons are increasingly being attacked and vilified for their views, a Vatican diplomat told the United Nations Human Rights Council on Tuesday.

[Link: af.reuters.com...]

230 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:29:09pm

re: #221 iceweasel

I'm not familiar with this site, but mentions of Chuck norris are always good:

The GOP would have told Mary a) you have a preexisting condition; b) you have no health insurance; c) you haven't payed your rent and you're a vagrant and d) unless you have a license for that donkey we're going to have to fine you.

231 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:29:11pm

re: #228 SanFranciscoZionist

RHODESIANS?

When did he write this?

© 2004 - 2009 by G. Edward Griffin. Updated 2009 January 28

I'm sure he has his own obscure meaning for the term.

232 CuriousLurker  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:29:38pm

This stuff is getting really weird.

I was expecting things to get ugly regarding Islam/Muslims, but I have to admit I was unprepared for this truly bizarre and completely naked grab for power by the theocrats of the GOP base.

They're like some horrid, horny teenage boy who's lost all self-control and has now turned into a heavy-breathing, red-faced little monster with eyes full of frenzied lust, pawing madly at some poor girl's clothing.

This is like a really bad episode of The Twilight Zone. On acid.

233 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:33:05pm

Religion may become extinct in nine nations, study says:

A study using census data from nine countries shows that religion there is set for extinction, say researchers.

The study found a steady rise in those claiming no religious affiliation.

The team's mathematical model attempts to account for the interplay between the number of religious respondents and the social motives behind being one.

The result, reported at the American Physical Society meeting in Dallas, US, indicates that religion will all but die out altogether in those countries.

The team took census data stretching back as far as a century from countries in which the census queried religious affiliation: Australia, Austria, Canada, the Czech Republic, Finland, Ireland, the Netherlands, New Zealand and Switzerland.

[Link: www.bbc.co.uk...]

234 The Left  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:34:35pm

Gingrich Praises Anti-Muslim Conspiracy Theorist

Former House Speaker and likely GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich commenced his address at an American Family Association event in Iowa today by lavishing praise on a controversial amateur historian who believes that Jesus opposed the minimum wage and that Islamic extremists have literally infiltrated the Justice Department. "I never listen to David Barton without learning a whole lot of new things," Gingrich said, while inviting his audience to read the Texans' writings on the Founding Fathers. "It's amazing how much he knows and how consistently he applies that knowledge."

235 APox  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:35:31pm

Wait... Wait... Wait...

They are trying to use... a religious text... as a guidebook for government decisions and action... But..

They are super scared of Sharia law taking over this country because it does exactly that... It shapes policy through what the Koran says..

/head explodes

The hypocrisy is just so silly, I don't even have words anymore.

236 Aye Pod  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:38:13pm

re: #230 Gus 802

The GOP would have told Mary a) you have a preexisting condition; b) you have no health insurance; c) you haven't payed your rent and you're a vagrant and d) unless you have a license for that donkey we're going to have to fine you.

They would have told Jesus that he was creating a dependency culture everywhere he went with his miracles.

"You are encouraging people to think that the solutions to their problems are just going to fall out of the sky. And get a haircut, goddamit."

237 CuriousLurker  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:39:58pm

re: #232 CuriousLurker

They're like some horrid, horny teenage boy who's lost all self-control and has now turned into a heavy-breathing, red-faced little monster with eyes full of frenzied lust, pawing madly at some poor girl's clothing.

And I don't really wanna to go there, but I'm gonna: Let's hope this ends up being a really embarrassing, messy case of premature ejaculation on the part of the boy in which the girl escapes relative unscathed (but permanently leery), and the boy ends up being laughingstock and pariah for years to come. *retch*

238 Gus  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:40:33pm

re: #236 Jimmah

They would have told Jesus that he was creating a dependency culture everywhere he went with his miracles.

Long hair! Sandals! And he didn't show an interest in women. The righties would have freaked.

239 Achilles Tang  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:44:31pm

re: #201 Jimmah

Awesome. All it takes to get wingnuts to openly rant against the words of Jesus is for Obama to make some use of them.

Therein lies part of the problem. He can't and won't. After all, that would be critical of religion (aka Christianity).//

240 CuriousLurker  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:46:37pm

Break time. BBL

241 Summer Seale  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:49:10pm

The Testament According to Barton:


Barton 1:1

And in those days came Jesus of Nazareth, riding on the back of a mule into the Temple, which he hath bought for a load of sestercii of gold for money was good and plentiful whenever he spoke.

Barton 1:2

And he said unto the people: "Go with God and spend, spend, spend, like the rich man at a banquet who knows no limits, for God hath given you all that he wrought, and money he hath wrought as well, for it is good."

Barton 1:3

And then an ignorant Jew spoke up and asked: "What of the poor, Jesus? How shall they spend? What of the weak and helpless with no gold, silver, or copper? Should we not part with some of our coins so that they can enjoy the fruits of the Lord as well?"

Barton 1:4

And Jesus said: "For them, the oats on the ground discarded by the birds shall suffice, for they art beggarly, and God hath deemed it so. Let none here share what God hath given him for God intended it for thee and not for them whom art like lepers at the city gates. Discard them from your thoughts and enjoy only what God has given thee, for he hath other plans for them, and ye are not in them."

Barton 1:5

And then Jesus made merry with the tables of gold laid before him as it was all his and not given to the lepers or the poor outside. "Make this our day of the Lord, for he hath given us plenty and joy, and it is ours alone. Let none here share, and let none of this coin be taken from our hands to give to others, for that is not the intention of the Lord. For I know His will, and His will be done here on earth as it is in heaven."

Barton 1:6

And then Jesus was given an ass of purest white, and clothed in raiments of gold spun thread, so as to show the will of the Lord before the beggars as he passed through the gates once more. And the Lord smiled upon him from above, and all surrounding him, his learned disciples and their poorer slave kin, smiled upon him, for it was good and plentiful, and not to be shared.

Barton 1:7

And then they passed in procession through the gates out of the city yet again, drinking and singing praises to the Lord whilst the beggars and lepers looked upon and wondered at their own fate.

Barton 1:8

And Jesus turned towards them and said: "You cringe before me and stand amazed and it is good, for that is your lot in life, for thou art as the lowly insects upon carrion, and we shall pay ye no heed. And go now, for thou art poor by the will of the Lord, and He hath deemed it righteous. And none shall give you coin for I have said it is so, and I shall not bear a single copper falling into thine bowls, for that is not the will of the Lord. The Lord smiles upon the rich and not the poor, for thou have all sinned, and he is displeased with you."

Barton 1:9

And the crowd before him moaned in grief and pulled sackcloth over their heads and rubbed ash into their hair and eyes for they knew the truth of it. And Jesus shone out in his gold raiment of prosperity and plenty and parted them as a writhing mass like Moses parted the Great Red Sea, and it was done.

Barton 1:10

And His followers followed him and they set out for Ashdod to the great music festival to be played, where all with coin would be welcome as was the will of the Lord, and those others would perish in the desert around the city gates, to suffer His burning wrath.

242 wrenchwench  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:52:16pm

re: #241 Summer

I looked upon your post, and saw that it is good.

243 Romantic Heretic  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 3:58:40pm

re: #34 WindUpBird

I have it on good authority that the muslims are just running LOOSE in ohio, they're just unilaterally declaring Sharia law in downtown Cleveland, it's a disaster

They must be working fast. I was in Cleveland a couple of years ago and I didn't see a single burka.

244 Querent  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 5:57:42pm

re: #13 EmmmieG

How does he plan on implementing the taking of a few loaves and fishes and miraculously multiplying them?

'Cause really, I don't know ANY government agency that can do that.

There's a joke in my Soviet Joke Book that addresses that very question...

245 unrememberable  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 6:03:17pm

What is the marginal tax rate on foodre: #202 iceweasel

From the same source:

So basically Obama is a bad president because he can't reproduce the miracle of the loaves and fishes? Are we at the point now where Jesus is our President?

Where is Jesus' birth certificate?

246 DrBoobooday  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 8:52:43pm

Weird. Not only would Jesus hate them, but Nietzsche too.

Nietzsche called it "slave morality." Justice deferred. "Your reward is in heaven, sucka!"

247 Tigger2005  Fri, Mar 25, 2011 10:27:35pm

I wish this was funny, but it's not. A mainstream political party has lost all touch with reality. And millions of Americans still think it's their father's GOP.

248 hellosnackbar  Sat, Mar 26, 2011 4:19:22am

All this Jesus and God stuff has me bewildered!
It just has me imagining what would happen if a European politician made sucha
speech within a political campaign here?
I can confidently say that the individual would be the subject of national ridicule; as Alastair Campbell(Tony Blair's spin doctor)famously said.
"We don't do God!"
Thank God(pun intended) that the commanders on LGF see it that way.
And no small wonder that Charles has eschewed this madness, in favour of
reason and common sense.
What's happened to all the good (old fashioned?) conservatives ?;who held
the secular constitution as an inviolable document?
Way back in the sixties I can remember a remark from Barry Goldwater,when
religious fruitcakes tried to bring him into the God squad.
He said:"I want them to know I will fight them very inch of the way!"

249 Girl with a Pearl Earring  Sun, Mar 27, 2011 6:12:41am

Where's the entire video?


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