Onion: Today Now! Interviews 5-Year Old Screenwriter
‘I want the cars to drive fast and then some of them explode’
Humor • Views: 39,254
89 comments
3 |
Kragar (Antichrist ) Tue, Apr 26, 2011 5:52:55pm |
Jerry Bruckheimer already has a job for the kid.
| 5 |
Kragar (Antichrist ) Tue, Apr 26, 2011 5:56:37pm |
| 6 |
Charles Johnson Tue, Apr 26, 2011 5:57:05pm |
Man, am I ever glad tonight that I didn’t sign up for the PlayStation 3 Network.
Total security breach. All user data possibly stolen, including credit cards and street addresses.
| 7 |
Mostly sane, most of the time. Tue, Apr 26, 2011 5:57:32pm |
I wondered where the long line of fart-jokes movies had come from.
| 8 |
Kragar (Antichrist ) Tue, Apr 26, 2011 5:58:58pm |
re: #6 Charles
Man, am I ever glad tonight that I didn’t sign up for the PlayStation 3 Network.
Total security breach. All user data possibly stolen, including credit cards and street addresses.
But I thought that data just wanted to roam free in the wild as God intended?
| 9 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 5:59:11pm |
re: #4 brookly red
What ever happened to monster movies?
They’re alive and well, but you need to be a film buff and support indie and arthouse cinema to find them
many of them are foreign, and subtitled, lots of crazy creature movies coming out of Japa, Korea, Hong Kong, I recommend Miike films, i recommend Tokyo Gore Police
Host being the best Korean monster movie
Also Pirahna 3D is an excellent one. Probably the last good american monster movie since Cloverfield
| 10 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 5:59:21pm |
re: #6 Charles
Man, am I ever glad tonight that I didn’t sign up for the PlayStation 3 Network.
Total security breach. All user data possibly stolen, including credit cards and street addresses.
Jesus Christ!
| 11 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:00:34pm |
re: #9 WindUpBird
They’re alive and well, but you need to be a film buff and support indie and arthouse cinema to find them
many of them are foreign, and subtitled, lots of crazy creature movies coming out of Japa, Korea, Hong Kong, I recommend Miike films, i recommend Tokyo Gore Police
Host being the best Korean monster movie
Also Pirahna 3D is an excellent one. Probably the last good american monster movie since Cloverfield
yeah I get what your saying, but they are just not the same
| 12 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:01:19pm |
re: #6 Charles
PS3= fantastic hardware, shitty network, shitty dev support
XBox360=shitty hardware (I’m on my THIRD XBOX), fantastic network, fantastic dev support
| 13 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:02:13pm |
re: #11 brookly red
yeah I get what your saying, but they are just not the same
What monster movies do you wnat, I don’t understand
Pirahna 3d in particular is EXACTLY a B-movie, executed to perfection
The Host is a gigantic carp with legs that eats people and rips them in half
It’s genius
| 14 |
windsagio Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:03:44pm |
re: #12 WindUpBird
reminds me, my brand new second xbox is making scary noises whenever I put my MK disc in.
Those bastards.
| 15 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:04:03pm |
re: #14 windsagio
reminds me, my brand new second xbox is making scary noises whenever I put my MK disc in.
Those bastards.
Do you have a black one?
| 17 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:04:34pm |
re: #13 WindUpBird
What monster movies do you wnat, I don’t understand
Pirahna 3d in particular is EXACTLY a B-movie, executed to perfection
The Host is a gigantic carp with legs that eats people and rips them in half
It’s genius
hard to explain, it’s like the 70’s… you just had to be there.
| 18 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:04:54pm |
| 19 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:05:09pm |
re: #17 brookly red
hard to explain, it’s like the 70’s… you just had to be there.
I was there! I just watched all the movies in the 80’s
| 20 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:05:32pm |
| 21 |
windsagio Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:05:56pm |
per the psn thing, bad scene:
Would be nice if they had a list we could check to see if our account was compromised.
…
They are claiming that all accounts have been compromised.
| 22 |
engineer cat Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:06:09pm |
re: #15 WindUpBird
OT - say, WUB, do you comment at th’ eschaton too?
| 25 |
Decatur Deb Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:06:38pm |
A real Gallup poll reported by Nate Silver, with a real-world lesson about polling:
Poll Finds Most Americans Uncertain of Trump’s Birthplace
| 26 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:07:13pm |
re: #17 brookly red
honestly, this IS the 70’s all over again
new American love of comics
new American love of straight up hard rock, classic rock revival
freeform radio in the 70’s = internet radio now
gas crisis
shitty economy
Howard Beale characters going crazy everywhere
middle east strife
everyone wearing intentionally loud and ugly clothes
| 27 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:07:29pm |
re: #23 windsagio
let me repeat that. ALL ACCOUNTS
well gamers, all your bases ARE belonging to us after-all.
| 28 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:07:37pm |
re: #22 engineer dog
OT - say, WUB, do you comment at th’ eschaton too?
I read, I don’t comment
I love that guy’s writing voice, i LOVE it
| 29 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:08:15pm |
re: #24 JasonA
I keep the xbox around for netflix streaming :D
| 30 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:08:18pm |
re: #26 WindUpBird
honestly, this IS the 70’s all over again
new American love of comics
new American love of straight up hard rock, classic rock revival
freeform radio in the 70’s = internet radio now
gas crisis
shitty economy
Howard Beale characters going crazy everywhere
middle east strife
everyone wearing intentionally loud and ugly clothes
I do see your point.
| 31 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:09:34pm |
| 32 |
windsagio Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:09:34pm |
re: #26 WindUpBird
honestly, this IS the 70’s all over again
new American love of comics
new American love of straight up hard rock, classic rock revival
freeform radio in the 70’s = internet radio now
gas crisis
shitty economy
Howard Beale characters going crazy everywhere
middle east strife
everyone wearing intentionally loud and ugly clothes
Clothes aren’t quite as good, and in our Watergate they got away with it :D
Otherwise right on! the ’70s are the most underrated decade of them all.
| 34 |
Charles Johnson Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:09:53pm |
Cool … Google Adsense now has an option to block ads because they’re a “bad fit” with the site. B’bye, townhall.com, newsmax.com, and a few other hard-right ad budgets.
| 35 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:09:59pm |
re: #32 windsagio
Clothes aren’t quite as good, and in our Watergate they got away with it :D
Otherwise right on! the ’70s are the most underrated decade of them all.
THAT
might be one of the best things you have ever said
| 36 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:10:36pm |
re: #32 windsagio
Clothes aren’t quite as good, and in our Watergate they got away with it :D
Otherwise right on! the ’70s are the most underrated decade of them all.
probably cause we can’t remember most of it
| 37 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:11:07pm |
| 38 |
b_sharp Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:11:17pm |
re: #14 windsagio
reminds me, my brand new second xbox is making scary noises whenever I put my MK disc in.
Those bastards.
They jammed zombies inside the box?
Sounds like a breakfast cereal.
| 39 |
windsagio Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:11:20pm |
Random: Somebody get me a good PC dvd player/decoder plz :D
| 40 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:11:45pm |
re: #39 windsagio
Random: Somebody get me a good PC dvd player/decoder plz :D
you’re asking the wrong guy, I use WMP *_*
| 41 |
Charles Johnson Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:11:50pm |
It’s amazing how much money the far right spends on Google Adsense.
| 42 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:12:03pm |
re: #39 windsagio
I hate codecs more than I hate cancer
| 43 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:12:14pm |
re: #34 Charles
Cool … Google Adsense now has an option to block ads because they’re a “bad fit” with the site. B’bye, townhall.com, newsmax.com, and a few other hard-right ad budgets.
is that a Bachmann for Congress I see up stairs?
| 44 |
windsagio Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:12:34pm |
re: #40 WindUpBird
yeah goddamn wmp is’nt working all of a sudden, DVD is literally the devil.
| 45 |
Four More Tears Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:12:36pm |
re: #41 Charles
It’s amazing how much money the far right spends on Google Adsense.
Thank you, right-wing, for supporting Android!
| 46 |
prairiefire Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:12:38pm |
re: #26 WindUpBird
Platform shoes, trouser jeans, natural fro’s.
| 47 |
WINDUPBIRD DISEASE [S.K.U.M.M.] Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:13:05pm |
re: #46 prairiefire
Platform shoes, trouser jeans, natural fro’s.
I have platform boots *_*
OFF TO DRINK
| 49 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:13:22pm |
re: #46 prairiefire
Platform shoes, trouser jeans, natural fro’s.
tube tops… don’t forget tube tops.
| 50 |
austin_blue Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:13:47pm |
| 51 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:14:10pm |
| 52 |
Velvet Elvis Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:14:16pm |
re: #41 Charles
It’s amazing how much money the far right spends on Google Adsense.
I run a mental health support site. The scientologists spend a pretty bundle trying to get on there through various front groups and region specific domains and they all get blocked.
| 56 |
Velvet Elvis Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:15:29pm |
re: #39 windsagio
Random: Somebody get me a good PC dvd player/decoder plz :D
Go for VLC
It doesn’t play blu-ray yet, but it’s in the works.
| 58 |
b_sharp Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:16:12pm |
re: #49 brookly red
tube tops… don’t forget tube tops.
Really short tube tops.
Almost non-existent tube tops.
Translucent tube tops.
| 59 |
Velvet Elvis Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:16:38pm |
re: #55 windsagio
nevermind, got one >
Try VLC anyway. It’s open source and pretty much the best there is.
| 60 |
Four More Tears Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:16:40pm |
Heh. There’s a bill in Louisiana to change the name of abortion to feticide, with a 15 year sentence attached to it.
| 61 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:16:51pm |
re: #50 austin_blue
Pot holes in the highway of memory…
Pot-holes is more like it… I remember paying 10 bucks for an Oz of Jamaican, but that was in a different life.
| 62 |
windsagio Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:17:10pm |
re: #59 Conservative Moonbat
yeah actually downloading that now :D Thx man
| 63 |
Decatur Deb Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:18:31pm |
| 64 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:18:40pm |
re: #58 b_sharp
Really short tube tops.
Almost non-existent tube tops.
Translucent tube tops.
*slap* get it together man!
| 65 |
austin_blue Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:18:45pm |
re: #60 JasonA
Heh. There’s a bill in Louisiana to change the name of abortion to feticide, with a 15 year sentence attached to it.
Have they decided to replace the euphemism “miscarriage” with the medical term, “spontaneous abortion”?
| 66 |
Four More Tears Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:18:57pm |
| 67 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:19:39pm |
| 69 |
Kragar (Antichrist ) Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:21:03pm |
re: #34 Charles
Cool … Google Adsense now has an option to block ads because they’re a “bad fit” with the site. B’bye, townhall.com, newsmax.com, and a few other hard-right ad budgets.
HUZZAH!
| 70 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:21:56pm |
re: #68 b_sharp
I just drooled a little bit.
well I probably should not tell you this, but tube tops are coming back this summer
| 72 |
Kragar (Antichrist ) Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:24:15pm |
Now what we really need is for the cast of Glee to remake the Bee Gees Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band movie.
| 73 |
SanFranciscoZionist Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:24:21pm |
re: #63 Decatur Deb
re: #43 brookly red
We can keep the craziest, no? The ones that have only irony value? There’s something naive and innocent in Rand Paul’s saurian stare.
Ron Paul actually strikes me as cute, in a strange sort of way. He’s like a little malevolent troll in a movie who turns out to secretly have a heart of gold.
Rand just makes me want to throw a drink on him.
I am not sure what the difference is.
| 75 |
b_sharp Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:25:41pm |
re: #70 brookly red
well I probably should not tell you this, but tube tops are coming back this summer
A little duct tape and I’ll be able to walk around normally.
| 76 |
Velvet Elvis Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:25:41pm |
re: #73 SanFranciscoZionist
Ron Paul actually strikes me as cute, in a strange sort of way. He’s like a little malevolent troll in a movie who turns out to secretly have a heart of gold.
Rand just makes me want to throw a drink on him.
I am not sure what the difference is.
I always thought he had elven features.
Not as much as Kuchinch though. Kuchinich really is an elf.
| 77 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:26:00pm |
re: #73 SanFranciscoZionist
Ron Paul actually strikes me as cute, in a strange sort of way. He’s like a little malevolent troll in a movie who turns out to secretly have a heart of gold.
Rand just makes me want to throw a drink on him.
I am not sure what the difference is.
leftover Passover wine perhaps?
| 79 |
brookly red Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:27:23pm |
| 80 |
b_sharp Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:27:31pm |
re: #73 SanFranciscoZionist
Ron Paul actually strikes me as cute, in a strange sort of way. He’s like a little malevolent troll in a movie who turns out to secretly have a heart of gold.
Rand just makes me want to throw a drink on him.
I am not sure what the difference is.
Sometimes you peg the weird-o-metre.
| 81 |
PhillyPretzel Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:27:31pm |
re: #77 brookly red
There is no such thing as leftover Passover wine.
| 82 |
Kragar (Antichrist ) Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:27:45pm |
| 83 |
Stanley Sea Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:28:42pm |
| 84 |
Decatur Deb Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:29:48pm |
re: #81 PhillyPretzel
There is no such thing as leftover Passover wine.
You haven’t been to an ecumenical Alabama seder.
| 85 |
PhillyPretzel Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:31:33pm |
re: #84 Decatur Deb
No I have not. The seders I have been to have had some really good vintages and there were no leftovers.
| 86 |
SteveMcGazi Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:32:38pm |
| 89 |
Decatur Deb Tue, Apr 26, 2011 6:36:19pm |
re: #85 PhillyPretzel
No I have not. The seders I have been to have had some really good vintages and there were no leftovers.
The Reform temple in our little town is having its annual Deli Day. The brisket and pastrami is flown in from Max’s in Birmingham. Because the bread went soggy last year, the rye will come from the local (arch-Catholic) ABC bakery. Volunteers will spend the night making up the sandwiches and bags. (Last year they sold 1400 sandwiches, about enough for 2% of the population.)
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