Rick Perry Wants to Be President of the Country From Which He Wants to Secede

Another government-hating Republican who wants to lead the government

WingnutsAugust 2011 • Views: 33,954

To no one’s surprise, religious fanatic Rick Perry told Mark Halperin this morning that he’s decided he wants to be President.

Always the chameleon, Perry soft-pedals his fundamentalist beliefs in the interview with Halperin, and doesn’t claim (as he has previously) that God “called” him to run.

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149 comments

recusancy Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:42:18am

Romney: "Corporations are people, my friend."

Wow, this quote is even worse when you watch it. His smugness shines through:

Youtube Video

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:42:38am

Hopefully, Baby Jesus will step forward and let Bachmann, Cain, Santorum, and Perry know who he really told to run and who he was just fucking with.

RadicalModerate Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:45:43am

Maybe those of us in Texas will be lucky enough for him to resign before he decides to dedicate his run for the White House.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:46:33am

I wish he could just declare himself President of the country of Texas and be done with it.

(I Stand By What I Said Whatever It Was) Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:48:41am

Alex Jones hates him, thinks he is the Right's Obama for 2012.

jaunte Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:49:01am

People have also said that you benefited from ~~good timing~~ payoffs from your appointees. Is that true?
I consider ~~good timing~~mutual back-scratching and luck to probably be parallel and God bless all of them.

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:49:12am

re: #4 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

I wish he could just declare himself President of the country of Texas and be done with it.

With Austin becoming like East Berlin? /

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:52:07am

re: #2 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Hopefully, Baby Jesus will step forward and let Bachmann, Cain, Santorum, and Perry know who he really told to run and who he was just fucking with.

There's a lot of "Godly" competition in this field. I've never seen this much religiousness before even with the Republican Party. It's like a reality game show and they're playing "Who's the Biggest Christian". But, like I said earlier. A lot of Americans will likely blow it off with Perry and for obvious reasons.

Mattand Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:55:47am

re: #5 000G

Alex Jones hates him, thinks he is the Right's Obama for 2012.

What's the old saying about Alex Jones? Oh, yeah: "Fuck him. He's a lunatic." Or something...

Slightly OT: If you ever feel like trolling, roll over to Raw Story and point out that Alex Jones is a paranoid loon. Many lulz will result. I had no idea I was a paid government sheeple. :)

Lidane Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:55:52am

re: #3 RadicalModerate

Maybe those of us in Texas will be lucky enough for him to resign before he decides to dedicate his run for the White House.

That would be fantastic. Anything to finally get him the hell out of the governor's mansion.

RadicalModerate Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:56:00am

I honestly can't see Perry making it past the primaries, once the nation at whole starts hearing about things like his knowingly executing innocent men on two separate occasions.
...And his subsequent removal of investigators and replacing them with hand-picked cronies when said investigation into wrongdoing was pointing to the Governor's office - on the day before those findings were to be released.

Lidane Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:57:32am

re: #9 mattand

What's the old saying about Alex Jones? Oh, yeah: "Fuck him. He's a lunatic." Or something...

That was before Obama got elected. When Dubya was in office, Alex Jones was persona non grata on Fox because of his 9/11 truther bullshit and his conspiracies about FEMA concentration camps and all that.

Now the right wing loves him. It's crazy.

Bulworth Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:58:04am

Well, he really only wants to secede whenever a Democrat is president.

Whenever a Republican is elected, dissent of any kind is treason.

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:58:09am

Odd. And related...

Poll: Perry would enter in 2nd place, but only Giuliani leads Obama

If Rick Perry enters the presidential race on Saturday as expected, a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation national poll released Thursday shows he will be Mitt Romney’s strongest Republican primary competitor.

But the poll also shows that the undeclared Rudy Giuliani is the only potential GOP nominee who would win a head-to-head race with Barack Obama if the presidential election were held today. Among registered voters, Giuliani has 51 percent to Obama’s 45 percent. Romney is virtually tied with Obama, trailing 49 percent to 48 percent in a one-on-one matchup...

The Republicans won't back Giuliani though. Not from where I'm sitting. To me this tells me that Giuliani strongly gets the independent vote.

Vicious Michigan Union Thug Thu, Aug 11, 2011 9:59:19am

re: #14 Gus 802

Odd. And related...

Poll: Perry would enter in 2nd place, but only Giuliani leads Obama

The Republicans won't back Giuliani though. Not from where I'm sitting. To me this tells me that Giuliani strongly gets the independent vote.

I voted for Rudy in the 2008 primary, before he turned out to be a total loser.

recusancy Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:00:01am

re: #14 Gus 802

Odd. And related...

Poll: Perry would enter in 2nd place, but only Giuliani leads Obama

The Republicans won't back Giuliani though. Not from where I'm sitting. To me this tells me that Giuliani strongly gets the independent vote.

Vote Giluliani and we'll become and anti-muslim police state.

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:00:09am

re: #15 Alouette

I voted for Rudy in the 2008 primary, before he turned out to be a total loser.

Specifically? Did he go wingnut?

Mattand Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:01:32am

re: #11 RadicalModerate

I honestly can't see Perry making it past the primaries, once the nation at whole starts hearing about things like his knowingly executing innocent men on two separate occasions.
...And his subsequent removal of investigators and replacing them with hand-picked cronies when said investigation into wrongdoing was pointing to the Governor's office - on the day before those findings were to be released.

You're assuming people will care about that. Hell, I'd even forgotten about the secession bullshit he was floating a few months back until Charles mentioned it.

In addition, for many Americans, being devout= good person. I love our country, but we don't do nuance well.

If the economy doesn't turn around sufficiently enough, Obama is toast. That's what people are going to see.

Vicious Michigan Union Thug Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:01:39am

re: #17 Gus 802

Specifically? Did he go wingnut?

No, he just failed to campaign and threw it all away.

SanFranciscoZionist Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:01:43am

Makes sense. He wants to be president. Either he can be president of the USA, or he can be president of the new seceded nation of Texas. We get to decide.

(I Stand By What I Said Whatever It Was) Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:02:30am

re: #9 mattand

What's the old saying about Alex Jones? Oh, yeah: "Fuck him. He's a lunatic." Or something...

Slightly OT: If you ever feel like trolling, roll over to Raw Story and point out that Alex Jones is a paranoid loon. Many lulz will result. I had no idea I was a paid government sheeple. :)

Jonesites and Paulbots are pretty much interchangable. Rabid, aggressive, and arrogant way beyond what they think they have an understanding of.

The on-topicness is the Texas connection, Jones and Paul being from TX, too. Jones has a lot of dirt on Perry, most of it gathered from legitimate news sources but always mixed with his own crankadoodle sauce added to it, and I predict that because Jones has learned how to play the media (mostly by imitating Drudge), when the national media will want to have dirt on Perry, Jones will get a lot more exposure.

Mattand Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:02:46am

re: #12 Lidane

That was before Obama got elected. When Dubya was in office, Alex Jones was persona non grata on Fox because of his 9/11 truther bullshit and his conspiracies about FEMA concentration camps and all that.

Now the right wing loves him. It's crazy.

Insanity makes strange bedfellows.

Petero1818 Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:03:04am

To be fair, God told him to downplay the whole "God told me to run" thing.

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:03:20am

re: #20 SanFranciscoZionist

Makes sense. He wants to be president. Either he can be president of the USA, or he can be president of the new seceded nation of Texas. We get to decide.

I'll get to work on the moat.

Targetpractice Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:04:08am

re: #14 Gus 802

Odd. And related...

Poll: Perry would enter in 2nd place, but only Giuliani leads Obama

The Republicans won't back Giuliani though. Not from where I'm sitting. To me this tells me that Giuliani strongly gets the independent vote.

Think part of it is because Rudy just isn't running right now. Perry's been none too subtle about his desire to run. Plus, I guess after 4 years of its absence, folks are wanting to hear "Noun, verb, 9/11" again.

SanFranciscoZionist Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:04:29am

re: #2 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Hopefully, Baby Jesus will step forward and let Bachmann, Cain, Santorum, and Perry know who he really told to run and who he was just fucking with.

Lisa Simpson as Joan of Arc: Didn't you tell me to liberate France from the English?

Groundskeeper Willie: You told me to liberate England from the French!

The voice of God: Ah, er. This is awkward. You see, I never expected the two of you to be in the same room at the same time. (Exits quickly through skylight.)

lawhawk Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:04:33am

OT:
Nancy Pelosi has named the House Democrats to the debt panel: Reps. Jim Clyburn (S.C.), Xavier Becerra (Calif.), and Chris Van Hollen (Md.)

That just leaves the House GOP to make their choices known.

jaunte Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:05:22am

Too bad Halperin didn't ask Perry if he agreed with Bryan Fischer and the AFA about the imminent threat of Sharia law.

blueraven Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:05:22am

Speaking of God talking to Perry. Has anyone read the Texas Observer piece? Interesting if nothing else. Rachel Maddow had the reporter on last nights program.

It is about his association with an obscure religious movement known as the New Apostolic Reformation. Many of these so called modern day prophets appeared at Governor Perrys "Response" prayer rally

...
The movement’s top prophets and apostles believe they have a direct line to God. Through them, they say, He communicates specific instructions and warnings. When mankind fails to heed the prophecies, the results can be catastrophic: earthquakes in Japan, terrorist attacks in New York, and economic collapse. On the other hand, they believe their God-given decrees have ended mad cow disease in Germany and produced rain in drought-stricken Texas.

...

If they simply professed unusual beliefs, movement leaders wouldn’t be remarkable. But what makes the New Apostolic Reformation movement so potent is its growing fascination with infiltrating politics and government. The new prophets and apostles believe Christians—certain Christians—are destined to not just take “dominion” over government, but stealthily climb to the commanding heights of what they term the “Seven Mountains” of society, including the media and the arts and entertainment world. They believe they’re intended to lord over it all. As a first step, they’re leading an “army of God” to commandeer civilian government.

In Rick Perry, they may have found their vessel. And the interest appears to be mutual

Rick Perry's Army of God

Bulworth Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:05:34am

re: #27 lawhawk

OT:
Nancy Pelosi has named the House Democrats to the debt panel: Reps. Jim Clyburn (S.C.), Xavier Becerra (Calif.), and Chris Van Hollen (Md.)

That just leaves the House GOP to make their choices known.

They have. Upton and Camp from Michigan and Hensarling from Texas.

kirkspencer Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:06:13am

re: #11 RadicalModerate

I honestly can't see Perry making it past the primaries, once the nation at whole starts hearing about things like his knowingly executing innocent men on two separate occasions.
...And his subsequent removal of investigators and replacing them with hand-picked cronies when said investigation into wrongdoing was pointing to the Governor's office - on the day before those findings were to be released.

He's the strongest anti-Romney candidate, however.

Romney's got a solid hold on a mid-20s number. Paul has the same on another 10%. That means Perry and Bachmann and the rest are duking it out for roughly 2/3 of the vote. If they split it, the game goes to overtime (convention negotiation). If one of them can get the majority of the anti-Romney, 40 to 45% overall, then they'll probably get the superdelegates they need to go over the top.

So don't look at Perry with the eyes of the general public. Look at him with the eyes of those who think the tea party "might have a point even if they're a bit extreme", and see if Perry can pull them from Bachmann (and if Palin's endorsement either way will make a difference).

lawhawk Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:07:02am

re: #30 Bulworth

Didn't catch that... so I guess we now know who's involved in that process.

Fat Bastard Vegetarian Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:07:24am

re: #27 lawhawk

Sarah Palin warned everyone that there would be debt panels.

Bulworth Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:07:33am

re: #2 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Hopefully, Baby Jesus will step forward and let Bachmann, Cain, Santorum, and Perry know who he really told to run and who he was just fucking with.

Don't forget Newt!!

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:07:39am

re: #25 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Think part of it is because Rudy just isn't running right now. Perry's been none too subtle about his desire to run. Plus, I guess after 4 years of its absence, folks are wanting to hear "Noun, verb, 9/11" again.

Yeah. Giuliani is the proverbial "9/11" candidate. That's all that came out of his mouth in 2008 it seemed. That and from what I've just been looking at now is that he seems to have a bit of Muslim derangement syndrome. Rather boring at this point. Maybe he had a chance in 2008 but not anymore. And like I said before the GOP won't vote for an Italian guy with a thick New York accent.

Targetpractice Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:09:46am

re: #31 kirkspencer

He's the strongest anti-Romney candidate, however.

Romney's got a solid hold on a mid-20s number. Paul has the same on another 10%. That means Perry and Bachmann and the rest are duking it out for roughly 2/3 of the vote. If they split it, the game goes to overtime (convention negotiation). If one of them can get the majority of the anti-Romney, 40 to 45% overall, then they'll probably get the superdelegates they need to go over the top.

So don't look at Perry with the eyes of the general public. Look at him with the eyes of those who think the tea party "might have a point even if they're a bit extreme", and see if Perry can pull them from Bachmann (and if Palin's endorsement either way will make a difference).

Like I said last thread, I imagine that it's going to end up being a run between Perry and Romney, not over who gets the nod and who walks away, but who gets which spot on the final ticket. Because if Perry gets the nod, then the question becomes one of finding a moderate candidate who can balance him out on the ticket. Because loading up the ticket with another Tea Party candidate would be suicidal right now.

SanFranciscoZionist Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:10:34am

re: #35 Gus 802

And like I said before the GOP won't vote for an Italian guy with a thick New York accent.

He's a social liberal. He's Italian. He's Catholic. He's from New York, and God knows, he looks and sounds all of these things.

He was not then, and REALLY is not now, a viable candidate. He confuses the categories of the culture wars.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:10:41am

re: #29 blueraven

Speaking of God talking to Perry. Has anyone read the Texas Observer piece? Interesting if nothing else. Rachel Maddow had the reporter on last nights program.

It is about his association with an obscure religious movement known as the New Apostolic Reformation. Many of these so called modern day prophets appeared at Governor Perrys "Response" prayer rally

Rick Perry's Army of God

I've read it. Most of the stuff on the NAR (full disclosure: my parents were part of this movement) is out of talk2action.com, mainly by Rachel Tabachnik. It's pretty accurate, though there are a couple stretches they'll make...but they're a site with a POV. (and one I personally happen to agree with.) Most online exposes on the NAR is based on Tabachnik's work over the past 3-4 years.

Resource Directory for the New Apostolic Reformation

Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:10:42am

BWAHAHA was just watching MSNBC and looks like Romney got p0wned by some old guy at the fair.

SanFranciscoZionist Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:11:16am

re: #39 Dreggas

BWAHAHA was just watching MSNBC and looks like Romney got p0wned by some old guy at the fair.

Old guys at fairs will do that to ya.

MichaelJ Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:11:48am

Watch out- he has the calmness in his heart!

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:12:28am

re: #40 SanFranciscoZionist

Old guys at fairs will do that to ya.

This is true, apparently my grandfather told Oliver North "Robb's got ya".

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:13:46am

I think Perry will either beat Romney or heavily wound him. Romney's going to be called out as a flip flopper and I can see Perry playing the populist card too.

wrenchwench Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:13:48am

Could Something Other Than Rick Perry's Business-Friendly Policies Be Keeping the Texas Economy Buzzing?

Ah, no, couldn't be. Nothing to see here...move along...

Fenris Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:14:06am

Isn't Perry something like the third person God told to run for President? Why is God starting to sound like a Nigerian 419 scammer?

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:14:53am

re: #37 SanFranciscoZionist

He's a social liberal. He's Italian. He's Catholic. He's from New York, and God knows, he looks and sounds all of these things.

He was not then, and REALLY is not now, a viable candidate. He confuses the categories of the culture wars.

That's a mouthful. And he's a "crossdresser!" Well, not really but you know the story I'm sure. It'll be one of the two: either Romney or Perry.

Varek Raith Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:15:20am

re: #45 fenrisdesigns

Isn't Perry something like the third person God told to run for President? Why is God starting to sound like a Nigerian 419 scammer?

God's trolling the GOP.

Vicious Michigan Union Thug Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:15:32am

I was thinking that if someone in Israel claimed G-D told him to run for Prime Minister, you would hear the laughing in California.

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:16:06am

re: #47 Varek Raith

God's trolling the GOP.

U MAD?

SanFranciscoZionist Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:16:09am

re: #45 fenrisdesigns

Isn't Perry something like the third person God told to run for President? Why is God starting to sound like a Nigerian 419 scammer?

Now, God told Huck NOT to run, so that can't be counted.

Vicious Michigan Union Thug Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:16:15am

I meant, you would hear the laughing all the way to California, not that only people in California would laugh.

Sol Berdinowitz Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:16:35am

re: #2 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Hopefully, Baby Jesus will step forward and let Bachmann, Cain, Santorum, and Perry know who he really told to run and who he was just fucking with.

Many are called, only one can be chosen.

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:17:16am

I can't see it being Rudy even in the past. Frankly, Rudy would have been best for the GOP when they had more of a presence in New England and the Mid Atlantic and when you could actually be a social liberal. Plus he recently said that the Republican Party should stay out of people's rooms. How's that going to go over with all the people who want to ban gay marriage everywhere after New York happened. Plus, he was such a shitty candidate last time. I had hope last time that Rudy's candidacy last time could introduce a degree of social moderation back in to the Republican Party but no dice.

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:17:58am

First caucus isn't until February.

SanFranciscoZionist Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:18:07am

re: #48 Alouette

I was thinking that if someone in Israel claimed G-D told him to run for Prime Minister, you would hear the laughing in California.

It's a really different religious and political culture.

Protestants are completely fascinating to me. I've been reading all of Slacktivists back posts about Left Behind, and I'm learning a ton, but occasionally he'll say "OK, we'll pause for a moment until the Calvinists stop feeling dizzy" or something similar, and I'll realize I just missed some point of theology I will never understand if it isn't spelled out.

Sol Berdinowitz Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:18:33am

re: #20 SanFranciscoZionist

Makes sense. He wants to be president. Either he can be president of the USA, or he can be president of the new seceded nation of Texas. We get to decide.

How about letting him get elected President of the USA and then the other 49 states secede from Texas?

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:18:47am

Tea Party Congressman defaults on 2.2 million dollar loan: "the bank's fault because it lent the pair the money knowing full well they couldn't pay."

SanFranciscoZionist Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:19:07am

re: #51 Alouette

I meant, you would hear the laughing all the way to California, not that only people in California would laugh.

I always tell people that Halevi was being premature when he referred to Spain as 'the farthest West'. Now, I live in the farthest West.

Except maybe for Polynesia.

Varek Raith Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:19:25am

re: #49 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

U MAD?

NO U

Mattand Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:20:07am

re: #29 blueraven

Speaking of God talking to Perry. Has anyone read the Texas Observer piece? Interesting if nothing else. Rachel Maddow had the reporter on last nights program.

It is about his association with an obscure religious movement known as the New Apostolic Reformation. Many of these so called modern day prophets appeared at Governor Perrys "Response" prayer rally

I'm an atheist, but I honestly don't care if you have faith or not. You want to pray, fine. You want to run for President and you consider yourself devout, whatever.

It's when you start this Blues Brothers "We're on a mission from God" shit and masquerade it as a run for POTUS, then I get worried and frustrated.

This is what kill me about the current conservative movement and the "USA is a Christian nation" delusion. The Constitution is an amazingly detailed document. Don't these people think that if the Founding Fathers (who are second only to Jesus in their eyes) wanted the US to be Bible-based, they'd have spelled it out right then and there?

This is why I worry about this country. As I said above, most people can't or won't make this distinction. Someone wearing God on their sleeve like this is not good. They're either too blinded by religion to make a rational thought, or so cynical they will say and do anything to get elected.

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:20:17am

re: #52 ralphieboy

Many are called, only one can be chosen.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

All GOP candidates will now be issued a sword of their choice upon announcing their run. Security details will make sure the rules of the Gathering are strictly enforced.

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:20:19am

If Santorum won I would proceed to "find God" then "see Jesus" and God would finally tell me to move to Australia.

mr.fusion Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:22:08am

re: #29 blueraven

Speaking of God talking to Perry. Has anyone read the Texas Observer piece? Interesting if nothing else. Rachel Maddow had the reporter on last nights program.

It is about his association with an obscure religious movement known as the New Apostolic Reformation. Many of these so called modern day prophets appeared at Governor Perrys "Response" prayer rally

Rick Perry's Army of God

I saw that, and couldn't believe they didn't bring up Perry's quote where he describes himself as a prophet: "A prophet is generally not loved in their own town."

Youtube Video

Mattand Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:22:28am

re: #47 Varek Raith

God's trolling the GOP.

OH HAI THIS IZ GAWD! I CAN HAS USA NOW?

wrenchwench Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:22:52am

re: #54 Gus 802

First caucus isn't until February.

There's a debate tonight.

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:23:30am

re: #57 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Tea Party Congressman defaults on 2.2 million dollar loan: "the bank's fault because it lent the pair the money knowing full well they couldn't pay."

Ah personal responsibility, for thee but certainly not for me. What a gasbag. I still think the worst is the prominent Tea Party guy from Illinois who owes six figures in child support.

Targetpractice Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:23:31am

re: #62 Gus 802

If Santorum won I would proceed to "find God" then "see Jesus" and God would finally tell me to move to Australia.

//

I thought about it, then I read about these and decided I was fine staying in the states.

Vicious Michigan Union Thug Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:23:42am

re: #58 SanFranciscoZionist

I always tell people that Halevi was being premature when he referred to Spain as 'the farthest West'. Now, I live in the farthest West.

Except maybe for Polynesia.

The farthest West would be right on the, uh, East side of the IDL.

iossarian Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:24:01am

re: #64 mattand

OH HAI THIS IZ GAWD! I CAN HAS USA NOW?

BOW B4 SKYCAT!!!11!

Fenris Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:24:07am

re: #64 mattand

If I were God, I'd get bored after staring at the same ant farm for 6,000 years, too.

Targetpractice Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:24:22am

re: #65 wrenchwench

There's a debate tonight.

Yeah, as though the last debate wasn't enough of a joke. Seriously, what's changed since then, other than the fact that each has become even less connected to reality?

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:24:36am

re: #65 wrenchwench

There's a debate tonight.

I'm sure we'll learn a lot of new things about the candidates.

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:24:44am

re: #64 mattand

OH HAI THIS IZ GAWD! I CAN HAS USA NOW?

I can see Loki sitting their giggling his ass off.

SanFranciscoZionist Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:24:53am

re: #63 mr.fusion

I saw that, and couldn't believe they didn't bring up Perry's quote where he describes himself as a prophet: "A prophet is generally not loved in their own town."

[Video]

To be overwhelmingly fair to Perry, that phrase is fairly commonly used--or was, when people knew their Bible better--without implying that you're claiming prophecy for yourself.

In Rick Perry's case, though, I just don't know.

Mattand Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:25:27am

re: #69 iossarian

BOW B4 SKYCAT!!!11!

God's new logo can be the Anonymous uses, with a crucifix instead of a question mark for a head.

Sol Berdinowitz Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:25:54am

re: #29 blueraven

This is a trend I have been noticing for three decades now: ever since Reagan ran with heavy support of the Christian right wing and then proceeded to dump them and their agenda as soon as Nancy's astrologer told her the stars were propitious.

Since then they have trusted no politician who was not one of their own and have set about infiltrating all levels of society, administration, education, media, entertainment and culture.

They came close to getting one of their own within a heartbeat of the Presidency with Sarah palin, but failed when she failed to just shut up and let herself be a blank canvas on which Americans could project their image of the ideal candidate.

jaunte Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:26:13am

re: #72 Gus 802

I'm sure we'll learn a lot of new things about the candidates.

//

Tune in for the latest in Notobama performances.

mr.fusion Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:26:16am

re: #71 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Yeah, as though the last debate wasn't enough of a joke. Seriously, what's changed since then, other than the fact that each has become even less connected to reality?

Train wrecks all across the country are slowing down to watch the GOP presidential debate tonight

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:26:26am

Backgrounder on the NAR...

To understand the New Apostolic Reformation, it helps to understand Pentecostalism and the Charismatic movements that came out of it. Sorry for the wiki leaks, but it's hard to find non-polemical links on these groups. These are also centered on the US, but they are found worldwide.

Holiness movement, 19th c

Pentecostalism, 20th c

Charismatic movement

Church of God in Christ - influential Black Pentecostal denomination. Very influential...especially for music tradition and widely imitated worship style

Shepherding Movement - discarded practice, but it produced a lot of the people in question. If anyone remembers Hannah Giles, the preacher's daughter who dressed up as the supposed prostitute with James O'Keefe to take down ACORN, her father is out of this movement

Crenshaw Christian Center - early (70s) Black Charismatic megachurch. "Christian Centers" are almost always Charismatic

Calvary Chapel, not exactly a "franchise", not exactly a denomination; started out in Orange County as a bunch of hippies who didn't want to give up Jesus

Oral Roberts University - Harvard for Charismatics. Bachmann, Barton, and Ned Flanders went here

mr.fusion Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:26:52am

re: #74 SanFranciscoZionist

To be overwhelmingly fair to Perry, that phrase is fairly commonly used--or was, when people knew their Bible better--without implying that you're claiming prophecy for yourself.

In Rick Perry's case, though, I just don't know.

I thought the same thing originally....more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt

Until I read the Observer story......

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:27:11am

re: #77 jaunte

Tune in for the latest in Notobama performances.

Here's a pre-debate transcript.

Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.

Interesting Times Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:28:25am

re: #81 Gus 802

Here's a pre-debate transcript.

Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.

You left out Tax Cuts, Sharia, and Ban EPA.

Targetpractice Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:28:31am

re: #76 ralphieboy

This is a trend I have been noticing for three decades now: ever since Reagan ran with heavy support of the Christian right wing and then proceeded to dump them and their agenda as soon as Nancy's astrologer told her the stars were propitious.

Since then they have trusted no politician who was not one of their own and have set about infiltrating all levels of society, administration, education, media, entertainment and culture.

They came close to getting one of their own within a heartbeat of the Presidency with Sarah palin, but failed when she failed to just shut up and let herself be a blank canvas on which Americans could project their image of the ideal candidate.

Speaking of St. Palin of Wasilla, she announced the other day that she'll announce her decision on whether to run or not...sometime next month. At this point, only the truly gullible (aka her fanbase) believes that this is aimed at anything other than continuing her "brand."

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:28:41am

And I submit to you, the American people, that the greatest threat facing our nation today is gay marriage. Thank you, and may God bless America.

Varek Raith Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:28:50am

Romney: ‘Corporations Are People, My Friend’

Ok, Romney, they're 'people'.
When will BP be charged with murder?
When will banks be charged with fraud?
When will KBR be charged with murder?
When will...Ah, shit. You know how freaking long this list could get!
Seriously, Romney, don't go swinging double-edged swords.

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:29:01am

re: #82 publicityStunted

You left out Tax Cuts, Sharia, and Ban EPA.

I didn't want to make it too wordy.

Sol Berdinowitz Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:29:23am

re: #81 Gus 802

You forgot

jobs jobs jobs

and

Kill the EPA OSHA, NASA, NOAA, ATF, etc...

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:29:48am

re: #55 SanFranciscoZionist

"OK, we'll pause for a moment until the Calvinists stop feeling dizzy"

Ha, now that's funny.

Part of the joke is that Calvinists, Lutherans, and some others look down on the Left Behind phenomenon, and that type of Christianity.

I think the other part is, Calvinism can be every bit as dizzying as the rest. I've always loved Slacktivist.

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:30:02am

re: #81 Gus 802

Here's a pre-debate transcript.

Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.Notobama. God. Terrorists. Abortion. Gay Mariage.

Are they attaching some stupid gimmick to this one, like questions from Twitter or Facebook, or some other crap?

HAL2010 Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:30:12am

re: #45 fenrisdesigns

Isn't Perry something like the third person God told to run for President? Why is God starting to sound like a Nigerian 419 scammer?

I just stole that and put it on facebook. Genius.

Sol Berdinowitz Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:30:12am

re: #85 Varek Raith

Romney: ‘Corporations Are People, My Friend’

Ok, Romney, they're 'people'.
When will BP be charged with murder?
When will banks be charged with fraud?
When will KBR be charged with murder?
When will...Ah, shit. You know how freaking long this list could get!
Seriously, Romney, don't go swinging double-edged swords.

When will they be thrown in jail to be sodomized?

Killgore Trout Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:30:44am

Bachmann wow the crowd....
[Link: www.daylife.com...]

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:30:49am

re: #87 ralphieboy

You forgot

jobs jobs jobs

and

Kill the EPA OSHA, NASA, NOAA, ATF, etc...

...

And I submit to you, the American people, that the greatest threat facing our nation today is NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO!!11ty Thank you, and may God bless America.

Charles Johnson Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:30:50am

How to get banned from LGF:

Norway Never Happened, Just Ask The Police (Suppressed Video)

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:31:16am

re: #1 recusancy

Romney: "Corporations are people, my friend."

Wow, this quote is even worse when you watch it. His smugness shines through:

[Video]

Well that puts a whole new meaning to being in bed with corporations. And here I thought that Mitt for all my faults with him as an opportunist who will change his mind on any position was not an adulterer.

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:31:26am

re: #89 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Are they attaching some stupid gimmick to this one, like questions from Twitter or Facebook, or some other crap?

Don't know.

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:31:54am

re: #92 Killgore Trout

Bachmann wow the crowd...
[Link: www.daylife.com...]

Nice to see that Penn took the time to see her, but where is Teller?

HAL2010 Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:32:06am

re: #94 Charles

How to get banned from LGF:

Norway Never Happened, Just Ask The Police (Suppressed Video)

The. Fuck.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:32:26am

re: #58 SanFranciscoZionist

I always tell people that Halevi was being premature when he referred to Spain as 'the farthest West'. Now, I live in the farthest West.

Except maybe for Polynesia.

Or one of those Aleutian Islands?

100

Varek Raith Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:32:32am

re: #89 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Are they attaching some stupid gimmick to this one, like questions from Twitter or Facebook, or some other crap?

Have you ever had sex with a Sun Goddess?
Is she hot?
Can I have her number???

101

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:33:01am

re: #98 HAL2010

The. Fuck.

In a nutshell.

102

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:33:12am

re: #85 Varek Raith

Romney: ‘Corporations Are People, My Friend’

Ok, Romney, they're 'people'.
When will BP be charged with murder?
When will banks be charged with fraud?
When will KBR be charged with murder?
When will...Ah, shit. You know how freaking long this list could get!
Seriously, Romney, don't go swinging double-edged swords.

Can't wait for same-corporation marriage.

103

HAL2010 Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:33:20am

Oh yeah, do anyone know where someone like myself, sitting in Sweden, can watch the debate online?

I've watched all my comedies I have at home and I could do with a good laugh.

104

Varek Raith Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:33:50am

re: #102 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Can't wait for same-corporation marriage.

Mergers are destroying family values!11!11

105

Mattand Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:34:47am

re: #94 Charles

How to get banned from LGF:

Norway Never Happened, Just Ask The Police (Suppressed Video)

Speaking of Alex Jones...

Just wow. You'd think that with the advent of the Internet, with all this info available at our fingertips, we'd be getting smarter as a species.

That has to be some sort of land speed record for a conspiracy theory.

106

Killgore Trout Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:34:55am

re: #103 HAL2010

Oh yeah, do anyone know where someone like myself, sitting in Sweden, can watch the debate online?

I've watched all my comedies I have at home and I could do with a good laugh.

There will be an online feed. Probably Fox and/or c-span.

107

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:35:06am

re: #100 Varek Raith

Have you ever had sex with a Sun Goddess?
Is she hot?
Can I have her number???

Yes.
Yes, duh, she's the Sun Goddess.
No.

108

jaunte Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:35:40am

re: #92 Killgore Trout

Bachmann wow the crowd...
[Link: www.daylife.com...]

Heh.

Bachmann held a single public event Wednesday at Competitive Edge, a local printing and promotions company in the Des Moines suburb of Clive. The event did not attract an outside crowd and was attended only by members of the media and about 50 employees of the company.
Bachmann was lively and poised, but the audience was subdued; one of the few signs of enthusiasm came from the campaign operative working the sound board, where he played an extremely loud sequence of John Philip Sousa marches as well as Elvis Presley’s “Promised Land” and “A Little Less Conversation.”
[Link: www.washingtonpost.com...]

109

HAL2010 Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:35:40am

re: #106 Killgore Trout

There will be an online feed. Probably Fox and/or c-span.

Cheers. I'll have to keep a lookout on their websites.

110

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:35:53am

re: #104 Varek Raith

Mergers are destroying family values!11!11

Conglomerates will have to file "joint returns."

111

Varek Raith Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:36:36am

re: #94 Charles

How to get banned from LGF:

Norway Never Happened, Just Ask The Police (Suppressed Video)

*Speechless*

112

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:37:05am

re: #102 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Can't wait for same-corporation marriage.

Quick! We need a Defense of Corporate Marriage Act! DOCMA!

113

Killgore Trout Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:37:23am

re: #108 jaunte

Heh.

Heh, It looks like a crowd that might be pumped up to hear some marching band music.
/

114

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:37:45am

re: #94 Charles

How to get banned from LGF:

Norway Never Happened, Just Ask The Police (Suppressed Video)

It was pretty amazing to see that. The irony of the poster calling people here anti Israel while she posted something by a well known hater of Israel. Shrug crazies go crazier.

115

brennant Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:37:49am

re: #102 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Can't wait for same-corporation marriage.

Dogs and cats, living together... Mass hysteria!

116

Killgore Trout Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:38:23am

Meanwhile, Mitt woos the most relaxed voters ever....
[Link: twitpic.com...]

117

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:38:37am

re: #115 brennant

Dogs and cats, living together... Mass hysteria!

Next thing ya' know people will want to marry their horse or a rock.

118

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:38:43am

re: #111 Varek Raith

*Speechless*

Gave that bitch a ban.

Bitches love bans.

119

Vicious Michigan Union Thug Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:38:43am

re: #94 Charles

How to get banned from LGF:

Norway Never Happened, Just Ask The Police (Suppressed Video)

I miss all the fun because I am either sleeping or working.

120

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:38:51am

re: #112 Gus 802

Quick! We need a Defense of Corporate Marriage Act! DOCMA!

DOOCMA - Defense of Opposite Corporate Marriage Act

121

Sol Berdinowitz Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:39:08am

re: #112 Gus 802

Quick! We need a Defense of Corporate Marriage Act! DOCMA!

You mean like of Victoria's Secret tried to merge with Sara Lee? Or Jack Daniels with Johnny Walker? Ohmigod! It would ruin the sanctity of holy mergimony!

122

blueraven Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:39:29am

re: #85 Varek Raith

Romney: ‘Corporations Are People, My Friend’

Ok, Romney, they're 'people'.
When will BP be charged with murder?
When will banks be charged with fraud?
When will KBR be charged with murder?
When will...Ah, shit. You know how freaking long this list could get!
Seriously, Romney, don't go swinging double-edged swords.

Well, to be overly fair to Romney, that's exactly what the Supreme Court said in the Citizens United ruling. Corporations are people with ~~first amendment rights~~ the ability to influence elections through unlimited cash contributions.

123

HAL2010 Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:39:30am

re: #116 Killgore Trout

Meanwhile, Mitt woos the most relaxed voters ever...
[Link: twitpic.com...]

If I was that comfy on election day, I know I really have to struggle to motivate myself to vote.

124

Kragar Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:39:39am

re: #116 Killgore Trout

Meanwhile, Mitt woos the most relaxed voters ever...
[Link: twitpic.com...]

You want my vote? Get with the foot massage. I'll tell you when to stop.

125

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:40:00am

re: #120 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

DOOCMA - Defense of Opposite Corporate Marriage Act

And if those corporations are married they should be denied any military contracts.

126

brennant Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:40:09am

re: #118 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Gave that bitch a ban.

Bitches love bans.

Totally. Awesome.

127

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:40:19am

It's in the bible. A man can marry a corporation if he likes. Perhaps David Barton and Bryan Fischer can help out here.

128

Targetpractice Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:40:48am

re: #94 Charles

How to get banned from LGF:

Norway Never Happened, Just Ask The Police (Suppressed Video)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking...

129

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:40:58am

re: #127 HappyWarrior

It's in the bible. A man can marry a corporation if he likes. Perhaps David Barton and Bryan Fischer can help out here.

That does it! I'm going to propose to Exxon tonight. No, make that Apple.

130

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:41:01am

re: #116 Killgore Trout

Meanwhile, Mitt woos the most relaxed voters ever...
[Link: twitpic.com...]

Why did I imagine a bunch of college students with a bong and Mitt standing awkwardly? That does look comfy tho.

131

jaunte Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:41:11am

re: #117 Gus 802

Next thing ya' know people will want to marry their horse or a rock.

//

I've had my eye on a hot mortgage-backed security for a while now.

132

HAL2010 Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:41:39am

re: #124 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

You want my vote? Get with the foot massage. I'll tell you when to stop.

Kragar: Have you ever given a foot massage?
MIttens: [scoffs] Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Kragar: Given a lot of 'em?
Mittens: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'.
Kragar: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
[Mittens gives Vincent a long look, realizing he's been set up]

133

Varek Raith Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:41:46am

re: #129 Gus 802

That does it! I'm going to propose to Exxon tonight. No, make that Apple.

//

Whoa, there.
Apple is expensive and very high maintenance.
/

134

Gus Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:42:54am

re: #133 Varek Raith

Whoa, there.
Apple is expensive and very high maintenance.
/

I'd be more than willing to dump my PC for that holy matrimoney.

135

Feline Fearless Leader Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:44:20am

re: #102 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Can't wait for same-corporation marriage.

Person-Corporation marriages are being suppressed!

Though I expect the person would want some sort of pre-nuptial agreement being getting involved.

136

wrenchwench Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:44:49am

re: #131 jaunte

I've had my eye on a hot mortgage-backed security for a while now.

It probably already screwed everyone in sight.

137

Varek Raith Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:45:12am

Well, this has gotten weird.
/

138

Shiplord Kirel Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:45:41am

Why Goodhair can't win the nomination.
He is a pure, unadulterated corporate shill candidate who cannot win across the board support from the most powerful elements of the corporate world. He is immensely popular with Big Oil, for obvious reasons, and with the retail/service sector because of his extreme views on unions and worker rights in general. He is also well-liked for his, uh, flexibility and accessibility in the public service contracting industries (prisons, road construction, etc.) He does not have Romney's (Wall) street cred with the financial sector, the military industrial complex, or the media/entertainment sector, however. The forces who support him are exceptionally dominant in Texas, not so much elsewhere.

139

(I Stand By What I Said Whatever It Was) Thu, Aug 11, 2011 10:51:05am

re: #76 ralphieboy

This is a trend I have been noticing for three decades now: ever since Reagan ran with heavy support of the Christian right wing and then proceeded to dump them and their agenda as soon as Nancy's astrologer told her the stars were propitious.

I liked Nancy Reagan in Ed, The Happy Clown

140

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin Thu, Aug 11, 2011 11:01:11am

re: #127 HappyWarrior

It's in the bible. A man can marry a corporation if he likes. Perhaps David Barton and Bryan Fischer can help out here.

David Barton and Bryan Fischer need to marry each other.

That's their whole frickin' problem.

141

HappyWarrior Thu, Aug 11, 2011 11:02:37am

re: #140 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

David Barton and Bryan Fischer need to marry each other.

That's their whole frickin' problem.

Yep just like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell should have.

142

blueraven Thu, Aug 11, 2011 11:25:30am

re: #138 Shiplord Kirel

Why Goodhair can't win the nomination.
He is a pure, unadulterated corporate shill candidate who cannot win across the board support from the most powerful elements of the corporate world. He is immensely popular with Big Oil, for obvious reasons, and with the retail/service sector because of his extreme views on unions and worker rights in general. He is also well-liked for his, uh, flexibility and accessibility in the public service contracting industries (prisons, road construction, etc.) He does not have Romney's (Wall) street cred with the financial sector, the military industrial complex, or the media/entertainment sector, however. The forces who support him are exceptionally dominant in Texas, not so much elsewhere.

Good analysis! Also, where a lot of the new jobs in TX have occurred are in South TX with the fracking boom in the Eagle Ford shale. Small towns that were dying are now bustling with new motels, apartments and restaurants to service the influx of workers.

Of course there is a major controversy as to the environmental concerns, especially to the ground water. But the jobs are there because the oil shale is there, not because of anything Perry did, except of course his very friendly association with big oil.

143

TheSwedish Thu, Aug 11, 2011 11:29:03am

Mr. Johnson & Co.,

Given Perry's support for secession, I think all shorthand identification of Perry at LGF should read not "Rick Perry (R - Texas)," but "Rick Perry (R - Confederate States of America) or (R - CSA)."

At once snarky and totally true.

144

Copernic Thu, Aug 11, 2011 11:50:27am

This will be a phenomenal running story. Youtube videos alone of him talking about the right to break away will continue to be gold.

I also feel compelled to present a bit of satire I wrote on the subject. The sports fans might enjoy it as well.

[Link: www.thechicagodope.com...]

145

Copernic Thu, Aug 11, 2011 11:52:26am

re: #144 Copernic

Crap, the HTML thingy didn't work and show the title of the piece.
Enjoy Texas traded to Mexico in four-state deal

146

jotalot Thu, Aug 11, 2011 2:59:04pm