Hilarious Amazon Pepper Spray Reviews

“I found it wholly unsuitable for eating”
Humor • Views: 26,616

Who doesn’t love a great thread of sarcastic Amazon product reviews? Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray.External Image

(1 star) Wholly unsuitable for eating, November 22, 2011
By Dan

Despite Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly’s assurance that this harmless vegetable mist is a “food product”, I found it wholly unsuitable for eating. It caused an extraordinarily painful burning sensation in the mucous membranes of my upper respiratory tract and the tissue surrounding my eyes, resulting temporary blindness which lasted from 15-30 minutes, inflammation of the skin which lasted from 45 to 60 minutes, and upper body spasms which forced me to bend forward in fits of uncontrollable coughing that made it difficult to breathe or speak for between 3 and 15 minutes. While there are many pleasurable ways to ingest fruits of the genus Capsicum, a nice New Mexico-style green Chile sauce on a stuffed sopaipilla for example, I found this product unsatisfactory.

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Last updated: 2023-04-04 11:11 am PDT
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