Herman Cain’s Big Announcement

The big bail
Politics • Views: 21,077

There’s a live video feed at C-SPAN of the Herman Cain rally at which he’s going to announce that he just saved a bundle on car insurance: Live video coverage.

Right now, of course, there’s a Teabagger dressed up in pantaloons and a tricorne hat, with a really bad fake British accent, reading the Declaration of Independence. Classic.

UPDATE at 12/3/11 10:50:23 am

The bail-out: “As of today, I am suspending my presidential campaign because of the continued distraction.”

UPDATE at 12/3/11 11:01:17 am

And in one of the most incredible moments ever in right wing politics, Cain ended (er, “suspended”) his candidacy with a quote from the Pokemon movie: “Just look inside and you will find just what you can do.” Wheee!

UPDATE at 12/3/11 11:13:07 am

If you were wondering why Cain “suspended” instead of “ended,” this way he can legally continue to receive federal matching funds for a nonexistent campaign all through 2012.

Jump to bottom

526 comments
1 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:32:17am

I was just going to ask when Herm’s Big Announcement was going to happen.

Charles’ timing, as always, is impeccable. Afternoon, Honcos!

2 erik_t  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:34:55am

Politics during college football?

Some people have no shame.

3 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:35:33am

The crowd of faithful could be as large as 50 or 60.

4 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:37:59am

If this is to announce he’s quitting, didn’t they waste a lot of money on patriotic bunting?

5 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:37:59am

re: #1 makeitstop

I was just going to ask when Herm’s Big Announcement was going to happen.

Charles’ timing, as always, is impeccable. Afternoon, Honcos!

Morning!!

I’ll take victimization for 1000 Alex.

6 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:38:33am

Watch him not quit.
XD

7 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:38:51am

Book tour kickoff?

8 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:39:57am

Odd music. Waiting for the strippers to come out…

9 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:40:05am

re: #4 Charleston Chew

If this is to announce he’s quitting, didn’t they waste a lot of money on patriotic bunting?

Hey, gotta spend those donations on something. Or does he now just get to pocket the cash once he drops out? I don’t know much about campaign $$ laws.

10 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:40:41am

re: #8 CuriousLurker

Odd music. Waiting for the strippers to come out…

I don’t see a pole on the stage.

11 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:41:12am

re: #8 CuriousLurker

Dave Matthews band.

12 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:41:24am

re: #7 jaunte

Book tour kickoff?

You think he’ll go “full Palin” - strictly-for-profit celebrity business in the guise of fake political campaign?

13 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:41:33am

re: #10 negativ

I don’t see a pole on the stage.

LOL, that’s what I was thinking. Maybe they have a portable one?

14 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:42:16am

re: #11 jaunte

Dave Matthews band.

Ants marching?

15 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:42:26am

i really don’t care much for dave mathews

16 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:42:29am

“He wakes up in the morning
Does his teeth bite to eat and he’s rolling
Never changes a thing
The week ends the week begins
She thinks, we look at each other
Wondering what the other is thinking
But we never say a thing
These crimes between us grow deeper”

17 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:43:22am

This is hilarious. The song that’s playing now is “Ants Marching” by Dave Matthews Band:

Candyman teasing the thoughts of a
Sweet tooth tortured by the weight loss
Programs cutting the corners
Loose end, loose end, cut, cut
On the fence, could not to offend
Cut, cut, cut, cut

Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time
Lights down, you up and die

18 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:43:46am

“mmhmrmmhm the same mhrmshrm box mdhrosme ta ta tata mensmnm take these mdmejekskssss bloo blooo blooo heyyyyyyyyy”

19 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:44:41am

re: #17 Lidane

I think we might see this on Maddow’s show. It fits with her conception of the Cain campaign as a performance art project.

20 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:44:41am

Big potato moths!

21 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:44:54am

OK Lizards.. Every sane indication is that Cain will quit…So I think his ego won’t allow him to quit…
So even though America thinks Cain is done..He doesn’t…
9-9-9 bitches!

22 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:45:01am

re: #17 Lidane

This is hilarious. The song that’s playing now is “Ants Marching” by Dave Matthews Band:

This campaign is determined to die like it lived — baffling.

23 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:45:10am

i want to give dave a speech therapy class

24 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:45:21am

Oh joy. Now Martina McBride’s “Independence Day”.

25 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:46:04am

The WaPo feed is really crappy — C-SPAN’s much better:

[Link: www.c-span.org…]

Click the “Video Playlist” link on the right of the page.

26 sagehen  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:46:23am

re: #24 Lidane

Oh joy. Now Martina McBride’s “Independence Day”.

Isn’t she the one who kidnapped the child she’d lost custody of?

27 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:47:12am

re: #26 sagehen

Isn’t she the one who kidnapped the child she’d lost custody of?

That’s Mindy McCready, I think.

28 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:47:23am

re: #19 jaunte

I think we might see this on Maddow’s show. It fits with her conception of the Cain campaign as a performance art project.

What I don’t get is the music choices.

Yeah, this Martina McBride song has some patriotic phrasing, but the song is about a woman who kills her abusive husband and herself by burning the house down while their kid looks on in horror and ends up in a county home.

WTF.

29 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:47:38am

The current ad is Chuck Norris for World of Warcraft.

More interesting, really.

30 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:47:42am

re: #26 sagehen

Isn’t she the one who kidnapped the child she’d lost custody of?

That’s Mindy McCready.

31 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:48:22am

re: #28 Lidane

What I don’t get is the music choices.

Yeah, this Martina McBride song has some patriotic phrasing, but the song is about a woman who kills her abusive husband and herself by burning the house down while their kid looks on in horror and ends up in a county home.

WTF.

It’s the same song that’s the intro for Hannity’s radio show.

32 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:48:35am

Martina McBride is, as far as anyone knows, a fine mother.

That song has always made me think that the mother should have thought a little harder about the needs of her child, and found a better way out.

33 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:48:46am

re: #24 Lidane

Oh joy. Now Martina McBride’s “Independence Day”.

To be fair, any black person who runs for President in this country is obliged to play a certain amount of country music as a way to sooth skittish white voters. Call it Redneck Whispering. “There, there. It’s all right, redneck. I’m not going to hurt you.”

34 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:49:24am

re: #33 Charleston Chew

To be fair, any black person who runs for President in this country is obliged to play a certain amount of country music as a way to sooth skittish white voters. Call it Redneck Whispering. “There, there. It’s all right, redneck. I’m not going to hurt you.”

In that case, Toby Keith is called for.

35 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:49:44am

re: #28 Lidane

Honey Badger don’t read all the lyrics.

36 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:50:28am

re: #33 Charleston Chew

To be fair, any black person who runs for President in this country is obliged to play a certain amount of country music as a way to sooth skittish white voters. Call it Redneck Whispering. “There, there. It’s all right, redneck. I’m not going to hurt you.”

I’m not concerned with the country music. It’s the song choice. That’s not a patriotic song. It’s a song about a family that’s so torn apart by alcoholism and abuse that the mother’s only way out is to kill herself and her abusive husband by setting the house on fire.

It’s like people thinking that “Born in the USA” is a rah-rah jingoistic anthem.

37 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:50:29am

re: #15 SpaceJesus

i really don’t care much for dave mathews

Me neither. People rave about him/them, but I’ve never really gotten it.

38 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:50:49am

re: #34 EmmmieG

In that case, Toby Keith is called for.

Toby’s a democrat.

39 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:51:04am

The black curtain covering the HQ door is a nice touch.

40 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:51:30am

re: #39 makeitstop

The black curtain covering the HQ door is a nice touch.

I’m waiting for it to blow away in the wind. LOL.

41 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:51:42am

re: #39 makeitstop

“It’s full of stars!”

42 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:51:42am

re: #34 EmmmieG

In that case, Toby Keith is called for.

Willie Nelson singing “Hello, Walls” would be hilarious.

Hello walls (hello hello) how’d things go for you today
Don’t you miss her since she up and walked away
And I’ll bet you dread to spend another lonely night with me
But lonely walls I’ll keep you company

43 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:52:16am

re: #36 Lidane

I’m not concerned with the country music. It’s the song choice. That’s not a patriotic song. It’s a song about a family that’s so torn apart by alcoholism and abuse that the mother’s only way out is to kill herself and her abusive husband by setting the house on fire.

It’s like people thinking that “Born in the USA” is a rah-rah jingoistic anthem.

I had no idea. I know it’s Sean Hannity’s favorite song, so I just assumed it was about 9/11 and the threat of global Sharia or something.

Jeez.

44 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:52:29am

re: #36 Lidane

I’m not concerned with the country music. It’s the song choice. That’s not a patriotic song. It’s a song about a family that’s so torn apart by alcoholism and abuse that the mother’s only way out is to kill herself and her abusive husband by setting the house on fire.

It’s like people thinking that “Born in the USA” is a rah-rah jingoistic anthem.

You want the Cain campaign to suddenly start making sense now?

45 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:53:07am

The Cain Train has arrived. They are busy unloading the baggage car.

46 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:53:18am

re: #36 Lidane

It’s like people thinking that “Born in the USA” is a rah-rah jingoistic anthem.

That, and “Little Pink Houses”.

47 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:53:18am

What the hell is the OMG! sign?

48 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:53:29am

*sighs, marks another song to remove from his playlist for awhile*

49 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:54:03am

Didn’t Tom Petty tell Republicans not to use his songs? These people are just shameless.

50 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:54:14am

re: #43 funky chicken

I had no idea. I know it’s Sean Hannity’s favorite song, so I just assumed it was about 9/11 and the threat of global Sharia or something.

Jeez.

Well she seemed all right by dawn’s early light
Though she looked a little worried and weak
She tried to pretend he wasn’t drinkin’ again
But daddy left the proof on her cheek
I was only eight years old that summer
And I always seemed to be in the way
So I took myself down to the fair in town
On Independence Day

Well word gets a round in a small, small town
They said he was a dangerous man
Mama was proud and she stood her ground
But she knew she was on the losin’ end
Some folks whispered and some folks talked
But everybody looked the other way
And when time ran out there was no one about
On Independence Day

Let Freedom ring, let the white dove sing
Let the whole world know that today is a
Day of reckoning
Let the weak be strong, let the right be wrong
Roll the stone away, Let the guilty pay, It’s
Independence Day

Well she lit up the sky that fourth of July
By the time that the firemen come
They just put out the flames
and took down some names
send me to the county home
Now I ain’t sayin’ it’s right or it’s wrong
But maybe it’s the only way
Talk about your revolution
It’s Independence Day

Let Freedom ring, let the wight dove sing
Let the whole world know that today is a
Day of reckoning
Let the weak be strong, let the right be wrong
Roll the stone away, Let the guilty pay, It’s
Independence Day

Roll the stone away
It’s Independence Day

51 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:54:14am

re: #45 wrenchwench

They are busy unloading the baggage car.

That may take more time than I have.

52 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:54:31am

re: #25 Charles

The WaPo feed is really crappy — C-SPAN’s much better:

[Link: www.c-span.org…]

Click the “Video Playlist” link on the right of the page.

Gee, thanks for finding the best quality link. LOL. I’ll just read comments here and not harm any more brain cells this morning by watching the festivities. I do appreciate those of you who can stand to watch and summarize for me.

53 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:55:38am

re: #49 Charles

Didn’t Tom Petty tell Republicans not to use his songs?

I was just wondering about that.

54 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:55:47am

re: #50 Lidane

No, I really didn’t need to know. I’ll take your word for it.

55 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:57:41am

re: #46 negativ

That, and “Little Pink Houses”.

“Rockin’ in the Free World” too. People don’t seem to understand the sarcasm in the song.

56 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:57:45am

re: #45 wrenchwench

The Cain Train has arrived. They are busy unloading the baggage car.

The Cain train had too much steam on the windows and not enough in the engine..
/I stole that from Mark from Boston
It’s Bedlam day in Oklahoma.. The biggest football day all year..I’m still deciding what party to go to..

57 erik_t  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:58:22am

re: #56 HoosierHoops

Okie State, for ALL THE BCS CHAOS.

58 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:58:41am

re: #36 Lidane

I’m not concerned with the country music. It’s the song choice. That’s not a patriotic song. It’s a song about a family that’s so torn apart by alcoholism and abuse that the mother’s only way out is to kill herself and her abusive husband by setting the house on fire.

It’s like people thinking that “Born in the USA” is a rah-rah jingoistic anthem.

People seemed to often not pay attention to lyrics, and not just in politics. I was at a wedding where, inspired by Top Gun, the groom serenaded the bride with “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’”, and a Bar Mitzvah where a singer sung the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”.

59 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:58:42am

re: #49 Charles

Didn’t Tom Petty tell Republicans not to use his songs? These people are just shameless.

Just wait ‘til they put on “Reach For It”.

60 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:59:03am

Interesting that C-SPAN is broadcasting the exact same feed as MSNBC, except with the C-SPAN watermark. Do they own each other or something?

61 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:59:08am

Oh, fun. Now they’re trolling through the Karate Kid soundtrack.

62 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:59:19am

sweep the leg cain, sweep the leg!

63 darthstar  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:59:25am

Has he announced yet? or has everyone spent 30 minutes waiting in vain for Cain.

64 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:59:30am

Toby Keith, Tim McGraw, Brad Paisley are all democrats. I’m surprised they still play Tom Petty after he specifically told them to stop, but maybe they think he only meant that Michele Bachmann wasn’t allowed to use his stuff.

Brad Paisley’s Alcohol would be a good choice for this event, IMHO. Or go for a classic—Travis Tritt’s Here’s a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares.

65 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:59:49am

Why is there a fire truck in the parking lot?

66 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 9:59:56am

Patience, Daniel san.

67 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:00:16am

Geez, and I thought the debates were torture…

68 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:00:18am

re: #65 makeitstop

because something is going down in flames

69 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:00:29am

Cain just drove up… we’re on final approach…

70 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:00:29am

OT, you may have heard, but Ron Paul declined participating in the tRump kiss-ass-athon.

71 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:00:29am

re: #60 negativ

Interesting that C-SPAN is broadcasting the exact same feed as MSNBC, except with the C-SPAN watermark. Do they own each other or something?

Unlikely. C-SPAN is owned by a non-profit corporation, I think.

72 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:01:06am

That’s a well-fed entourage.

73 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:01:22am

This song was apparently produced by Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer.

74 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:01:48am

Unfortunate song lyric of the day - “We’re gonna rock this thing, cock this thing.” Heh.

75 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:02:11am

re: #69 Charles

Cain just drove up… we’re on final approach…

Good use of the secret service detail.

Please say his wife & kids are not w/him.

76 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:02:14am

Rascal Flatts? Really?

We got hippies, gypsies, freaks and geeks
High class women in Daisy Duke denim
Bangin’ on gongs and singin’ our songs
Dude named Elrod jammin’ on an iPod
Beer and bonfires
Wide open throttle, Coors in a bottle
It’s all for one and one for all y’all

77 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:02:29am

re: #57 erik_t

Okie State, for ALL THE BCS CHAOS.

I can’t root for them.. I live by the OU campus…
Which is funny.. For many years in the past I was a huge Cowboys basketball fan…Who knew I was going to live in Oklahoma?

78 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:02:59am

Now he’s just trolling.
LOL@music.

79 darthstar  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:03:03am

re: #70 Stanley Sea

OT, you may have heard, but Ron Paul declined participating in the tRump kiss-ass-athon.

Good…let it be Newt, Mitt, Santorum, Perry, and Bachmann…the most desperate and shameless.

80 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:03:49am

re: #75 Stanley Sea

Good use of the secret service detail.

Please say his wife & kids are not w/him.

If they’re with him, he’s pulling out (hurr hurr) of the race. Spending more time with the family and all that. If alone, he’s Standing Tall In The Face Of Terrible Ads Odds And Showing Real Leadership.

81 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:04:21am

Meanwhile, Buck is defending Cain on a dead thread….

Hi Buck!

82 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:05:14am

re: #81 wrenchwench

Meanwhile, Buck is defending Cain on a dead thread…

Hi Buck!

Tilting at windmills again?

83 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:05:54am

re: #78 Varek Raith

Now he’s just trolling.
LOL@music.

Whoever put this playlist together has a sick sense of humor. Now we’ve got more Rascal Flatts:

They got three in the front and four in the back of a civic
Camped out all night on the sidewalk just to get tickets
With their hands on the fence in the back by the buses and the limousines
Just to get a glance at a drummer or singer yeah anything
And they come from miles around
For that moment when the lights go out
And they scream

Haha.

84 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:06:01am

I bet he’s going to announce a new pizza topping.

85 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:06:13am

Anyone there that isn’t with the media or the campaign, you suppose?

Rascal Flatts.

86 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:07:14am

re: #84 Killgore Trout

I bet he’s going to announce a new pizza topping.

“It’s the new meat-lovers pizza, for all my female supporters. Chock full of big, juicy meats and sauces. Get a large one for only $9.99.”

/Goin’ to Hell for that one.

87 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:07:27am

What’s the location? It looks like the ribbon cutting on a new bank branch.

88 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:07:43am

Now that’s just lazy. Three songs by the same band in a row?

Pfft.

89 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:07:54am
OMG

What’s with the sign?

90 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:07:56am

Morning Cain fans.

91 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:08:03am

OMG!

92 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:08:03am

More Rascal Flats. From Cars.

One day Here and the next day Gone.

93 sagehen  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:08:23am

re: #58 Charleston Chew

People seemed to often not pay attention to lyrics, and not just in politics. I was at a wedding where, inspired by Top Gun, the groom serenaded the bride with “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’”, and a Bar Mitzvah where a singer sung the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”.

When the DJ played “I Knew the Bride” at Dave Edmunds’ wedding, that was deliberate…

94 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:08:30am

re: #87 Charleston Chew

What’s the location? It looks like the ribbon cutting on a new bank branch.

His new campaign HQ.

Perhaps telling that the sign above the door is just a banner that can easily be taken down.

95 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:08:42am

re: #84 Killgore Trout

I bet he’s going to announce a new pizza topping.

ALL FOR $9.99!!!

96 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:08:45am

Life is a Highway, and Mrs. Cain told him to hit it.

97 reine.de.tout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:09:54am

re: #74 Charles

Unfortunate song lyric of the day - “We’re gonna rock this thing, cock this thing.” Heh.

LOL.
Mebbe somebody on his staff has a sick sense of humor.

98 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:09:59am

Man, is this the most unfortunate of all playlists or what?

99 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:09:59am

According to the wingnuts at Hot Air Fox is reporting that even more women are going to announce new dealings with Cain.

100 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:10:10am

Damn it, I really liked this song! Damn you, Cain!

101 bratwurst  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:10:36am

What is the over/under on how many seconds into his speech before he utters the words “liberal media”? I am going to put it at 25 seconds myself.

102 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:10:37am

I’m going to be honest; I would just put out a press release.

However, if I had that many skeletons, I wouldn’t have run.

103 reine.de.tout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:10:40am

re: #99 Killgore Trout

According to the wingnuts at Hot Air Fox is reporting that even more women are going to announce new dealings with Cain.

Well. I already announced my affair with Herman.

104 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:10:53am

re: #98 makeitstop

Man, is this the most unfortunate of all playlists or what?

I’m convinced that it’s on purpose.
;)

105 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:11:16am

re: #101 bratwurst

What is the over/under on how many seconds into his speech before he utters the words “liberal media”? I am going to put it at 25 seconds myself.

Is it too early to start drinking?

#It‘s5:00pSomewhere

106 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:11:18am

re: #99 Killgore Trout

According to the wingnuts at Hot Air Fox is reporting that even more women are going to announce new dealings with Cain.

The bimbo avalanche has begun?

107 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:11:21am

re: #99 Killgore Trout

According to the wingnuts at Hot Air Fox is reporting that even more women are going to announce new dealings with Cain.

Linky?

108 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:11:38am

re: #103 reine.de.tout

Well. I already announced my affair with Herman.

I could not blame the man, reine. :)

109 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:11:49am

re: #105 marjoriemoon

Is it too early to start drinking?

#It‘s5:00pSomewhere

I just finished a graveyard shift so I’m probably entitled.

110 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:12:24am

Excited to be here? Uh-oh.

111 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:12:39am

WHY U HAVE NO SOUND CNN?

112 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:12:48am

Mrs. Cain is there. He’s probably gonna quit.

113 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:12:48am

Thick crust or thin.

114 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:06am

ya’ll feel special

115 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:09am

Oh dear, did he say Mr. and MRS. Cain is there? Never a good sign…

116 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:09am

“Truly a man of character”??

117 allegro  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:09am

re: #113 jaunte

Thick crust or thin.

stuffed

118 reine.de.tout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:13am

re: #102 EmmmieG

I’m going to be honest; I would just put out a press release.

However, if I had that many skeletons, I wouldn’t have run.

These idiots are convinced, utterly convinced, that this sort of stuff will NEVAH come around to bite ‘em in the ass despite all evidence that it ALWAYS does.

119 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:23am

He makes everyone feel special.

Or sleazed on.

Your choice.

120 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:23am

“He makes everyone feel special.” For 13 years at a stretch?

121 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:28am

They’re asking for volunteers?
He’s not quitting.

122 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:32am

Sounds like he’s not going to quit if this dude is asking for volunteers.

123 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:33am

If he does anything other than quit I’ll be amazed.

If he announces a third party run, I’ll laugh.

124 SpaceJesus  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:38am

they need to play this song

Youtube Video
125 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:13:49am

Doesn’t look like he is shutting down.

Hilarious; awful news for the GOP if that is the case.

126 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:14:08am

HAHAHAHAHAHA

127 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:14:14am

CSPAN got the aspect ratio wrong. Why isn’t that the first test of a video professional? Just get the aspect ratio right, I beg you.

128 Glenn Beck's Grand Unifying Theory of Obdicut  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:14:29am

What the hell are these people babbling about?

129 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:14:40am

New campaign slogan: I’m still married to the same woman

130 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:15:02am

re: #127 Charleston Chew

CSPAN got the aspect ratio wrong. Why isn’t that the first test o a video professional? Just get the aspect ratio right, I beg you.

Yeah someone better not be getting a salary for that kind of incompetence in this economy.

131 Winny Spencer  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:15:13am

He’s not dropping out.

132 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:15:43am

re: #128 Obdicut

What the hell are these people babbling about?

First-world problems involving coupon clipping because Obama.

133 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:15:55am

re: #129 Stanley Sea

New campaign slogan: I’m still married to the same woman

And I get to sleep in the bed, too. And eat at the table. And I don’t have to buy new jewelry to get a kiss.

134 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:16:03am

A coupon fetishist is a sign of the bad economy?

135 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:16:05am

re: #131 Winny Spencer

He’s not dropping out.

Doesn’t sound like it.

136 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:16:08am

re: #127 Charleston Chew

CSPAN got the aspect ratio wrong. Why isn’t that the first test of a video professional? Just get the aspect ratio right, I beg you.

I tried to watch the Fox News feed but their camera was pointed at the parking lot and had some sort of seizure inducing flicker to it.

137 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:16:11am

Image: Roflcopter.gif

138 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:16:32am

re: #131 Winny Spencer

He’s not dropping out.

If he is, this guy is going to feel really stupid.

139 erik_t  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:16:43am

So our big announcement is another 9.

140 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:16:55am

“The” candidate? What, he’s calling on them to become Romney supporters?

141 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:17:06am

Sunny optimism? WTF???

142 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:17:06am

We’re being trolled. He duped us all into watching this.

143 reine.de.tout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:17:10am

re: #133 EmmmieG

And I get to sleep in the bed, too. And eat at the table. And I don’t have to buy new jewelry to get a kiss.

If it were me, I’d be holding out for the jewelry.
Then I’d find a good divorce attorney.

144 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:17:23am

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

145 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:17:28am

re: #100 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Damn it, I really liked this song! Damn you, Cain!

Just turn it off before he ruins any more enjoyment for you. LOL.

146 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:18:16am

This guy is emptying the Big Book of Cliches…

147 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:18:16am

We got rickrolld.

148 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:18:18am

They didn’t have to compete with China, either.

149 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:18:23am

If Cain were dropping out, you’d think they’d just can the circus and life-stories bit. Fraker done trolled us!

150 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:18:33am

re: #131 Winny Spencer

He’s not dropping out.

WTF? youcannotbeserious?

151 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:19:02am

I’m LMAO right now.

152 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:19:16am

The Left!

153 allegro  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:19:25am

Oh yeah it’s over regulation that’s taking out Mom and Pop businesses and not the Big Box stores and their loss leaders until the competition is killed.

154 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:19:45am

THE Candidate! LMAO.

155 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:20:00am

I’m starting to wonder if that playlist wasn’t a signal that he’s going to run a third party campaign.

Why go to all this trouble to announce that you’re staying in the GOP race?

156 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:20:26am

My mistake. They were loading the baggage car, not unloading it.

157 allegro  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:20:33am

WTF? Historic day?

158 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:20:42am

This is like a bad horror movie.

159 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:20:53am

“Are we gonna sit back and let the left tell us that it’s over?”

160 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:20:53am

re: #155 Lidane

I’m starting to wonder if that playlist wasn’t a signal that he’s going to run a third party campaign.

Why go to all this trouble to announce that you’re staying in the GOP race?

That happens, the clunking sound after the announcement will be the GOP leadership shitting a collective brick.

161 dragonfire1981  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:20:55am

Its official: Herman Cain really does have the dumbest political advisors ever. Anyone with a shred of common sense would have told him to bail.

162 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:20:59am

Dumb ass lemmings.They must have forgot the republican party flushing their precious country down the toilet.

163 Decatur Deb  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:21:21am

re: #142 Killgore Trout

We’re being trolled. He duped us all into watching this.

Next up: Rick Astley

164 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:21:21am

Yeah, this is grotesque.

165 allegro  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:21:44am

Now Cain is sacrificing himself by letting us elect him President?

This is freaking surreal.

166 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:21:44am

“Virtuous or not, declaring in or out, however we feel for him, Herman Cain’s campaign is over,” King tweeted. “I thank him as a friend and wish him well.”

Tweet from Steve King/Iowa

167 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:21:44am

re: #157 allegro

WTF? Historic day?

In the sense that this will someday be a small fact that AP US History (better known as APush) will memorize long enough for the test, like Ross Perot.

168 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:21:44am

re: #159 Charles

“Are we gonna sit back and let the left tell us that it’s over?”

“Nothings over until we decide it is!” ;)

169 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:21:53am

He going to announce a new party. The Third Rail Bang Em All Party. Let us pray.

170 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:22:03am

re: #137 Varek Raith

Image: Roflcopter.gif

Roflcopter: Special Edition
Image: apoc.gif

171 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:22:29am

re: #159 Charles

“Are we gonna sit back and let the left tell us that it’s over?”

“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”

172 Winny Spencer  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:00am

“America’s never seen a candidate like Herman Cain.” - Mark Block

No kidding.

173 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:01am

re: #169 nines09

He going to announce a new party. The Third Rail Bang Em All Party. Let us pray.

Interesting. If he announces a 3rd party run it will really fuck up the Republicans.

174 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:25am

re: #171 Lidane

“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”

“Germans?”

175 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:30am

Come on, let’s cock this thing already!

176 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:41am
Youtube Video
177 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:41am

re: #172 Winny Spencer

“America’s never seen a candidate like Herman Cain.” - Mark Block

No kidding.

Gary Hart knew when to end it.

178 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:43am

This guy’s giving me the creeps.

179 erik_t  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:52am

re: #161 dragonfire1981

Its official: Herman Cain really does have the dumbest political advisors ever. Anyone with a shred of common sense would have told him to bail.

Mark Penn is truly watching in awe.

180 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:23:59am

“I’m a firm proud dick for America!”

181 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:24:09am

Unrepentant strawman construction in progress.

182 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:24:10am

I think this guy forgotted that he was supposed to recite the Pledge of Alliegance.

183 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:24:16am

re: #173 Killgore Trout

Interesting. If he announces a 3rd party run it will really fuck up the Republicans.

That would make sense actually, to all this pomp and circumstance.

184 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:24:30am

re: #173 Killgore Trout

Seems a long fall on a sword, no? Now they’re dragging America into being groped. Jingoism is an art form these days.

185 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:24:40am

Bahh my sound isn’t working.

186 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:24:49am

Yeah, the President wanted to be President of the US because he thought it was so shitty.

187 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:01am

Sounds like a lot of these people forgot the words to the Pledge.

188 sagehen  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:04am

re: #98 makeitstop

Man, is this the most unfortunate of all playlists or what?

At least they didn’t use this one:

Youtube Video
189 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:15am

re: #174 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

“Germans?”

“Forget it, he’s rolling.”

190 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:15am

Is Cain speaking yet?

191 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:26am

re: #187 Sionainn

Sounds like a lot of these people forgot the words to the Pledge.

Thinking is hard!!!

192 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:44am

re: #185 Amory Blaine

‘you understand the enormity of the issues that are plaugin’ our nation…”

193 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:51am

re: #185 Amory Blaine

Let me translate for you. Baaa. BAAAAAAAA. Baaaaaaa…..BAAAAAAAAHHHH.

194 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:51am

re: #185 Amory Blaine

Bahh my sound isn’t working.

Nah, your brain has just blocked it out in order to protect you from further trauma.

195 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:51am

re: #190 Stanley Sea

Is Cain speaking yet?

Nah, the sideshow’s still rolling.

196 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:52am

New slogan “One Shot!”

197 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:25:59am

re: #190 Stanley Sea

Is Cain speaking yet?

No. They’re padding the program.

198 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:09am

Performance art indeed.
Bravo, Cain.
Bravo.

199 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:09am

re: #187 Sionainn

Sounds like a lot of these people forgot the words to the Pledge.

Those are the most pathetic 30 people I’ve ever seen form a crowd.

200 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:21am

Wow I didn’t know he was a math major.

201 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:22am

re: #190 Stanley Sea

Is Cain speaking yet?

About 5 minutes to go…

202 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:28am

re: #185 Amory Blaine

Bahh my sound isn’t working.

Refresh the page, mine cut out for a while too.

203 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:38am

Hands on leader. That’s the problem.

204 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:38am

Who is this guy?

205 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:40am

re: #190 Stanley Sea

Is Cain speaking yet?

No, we haven’t heard from the Preacher yet.

206 allegro  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:43am

seminal time… proven hands on leader…

seriously, this is performance art.

207 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:56am

It’s seminal, y’know. Gah, are they doing this crap on purpose?

208 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:56am

re: #195 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Nah, the sideshow’s still rolling.

Good grief. We are suckers.

209 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:26:56am

Swear to God, this guy is Gary Busey in disguise. Sounds almost just like him.

210 Decatur Deb  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:08am

re: #200 Amory Blaine

Wow I didn’t know he was a math major.

His thesis was on the number 9.

211 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:17am

re: #206 allegro

Coke jinx!

212 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:17am

Thanks to whoever finally hit the zoom button.

213 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:38am

We certainly have to Thank The Good Lord (with bowed heads) before we hear from Saviour Cain.

214 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:45am

re: #202 Killgore Trout

Refresh the page, mine cut out for a while too.

Working now.

215 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:45am

I know him as a friend. Not that kind of a friend like the women know him, but a friend.

216 Winny Spencer  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:48am

Here he comes.

217 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:50am

They’re going stonewall his accusers.

218 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:55am

“Professional doer”….yeah, bad choice of words.

219 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:57am

Cain is a “professional doer”? LOL.

220 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:27:58am

Professional DOER! Gahhhhhhh!!!

221 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:02am

re: #207 CuriousLurker

Good point…you’d think that this candidate, above all others, would want to avoid having people think of semen…

222 allegro  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:03am

A professional doer? ROFL

223 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:14am

This is too funny.

224 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:24am

Professional doer? What the fuck???

225 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:24am

PROFESSIONAL “DOER”

226 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:28am

Professional doer? He really does know him!

227 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:28am

Professional Doer. Heh-heh he said do.

228 Winny Spencer  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:35am

Gloria in tow.

229 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:39am

I AM AMERICA!

230 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:48am

So I finally saw that OMG! sign up close. Apparently, it stands for Obama Must Go.

LOL.

231 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:48am

Best.
RickRoll.
Ever.

232 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:28:59am

This song makes me want to smoke…

233 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:29:00am

I am America?

I would weigh an awful lot.

Who is this singer?

234 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:29:05am

Circus music, please.

235 rwdflynavy  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:29:07am

re: #216 Winny Spencer

Here he comes.

poor choice of words…

236 allegro  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:29:22am

OMG this is fucking hilarious. I’m in tears from laughing. This is funnier than any SNL bit could ever be.

237 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:29:34am

re: #228 Winny Spencer

Gloria in tow.

Is she handcuffed to Herm so she doesn’t bolt?

238 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:29:39am

re: #235 rwdflynavy

poor choice of words…

There ARE no safe words with Herman Cain.

239 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:29:42am

re: #234 jaunte

Circus music, please.

Yaketty Sax please.

240 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:29:57am

re: #233 EmmmieG

Isn’t that song by some American Idol reject?

241 Winny Spencer  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:30:01am

re: #236 allegro

OMG this is fucking hilarious. I’m in tears from laughing. This is funnier than any SNL bit could ever be.

Exactly!

242 ProBosniaLiberal  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:30:35am

re: #239 negativ

Here you go.

243 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:30:43am

They’re chanting “Gloria”…WTF?

244 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:31:13am

warm weather supporters?

245 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:31:23am

All of a sudden this does sound like dropping out…

246 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:31:23am

The song writer needs a grammar lesson.

You can be an American.

You can be in America.

You can be lots of things.

You cannot be a country. I am very sorry. I hope this doesn’t squish your dreams, but…no. You can be an astronaut, a fireman, or the president of the country, but you can no more be America than you can be the Hoover Dam.

247 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:31:26am

Chanting “Gloria”. The prop his campaign cannot do without.

248 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:31:27am

Stands about 5 foot 2, and her name is G-L-O-R-I-A.

249 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:31:40am

Yellow tie? Must be retreating.

250 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:31:55am

re: #245 Chrysicat

All of a sudden this does sound like dropping out…

Yep. A lot of past tense here….

251 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:32:06am

Yea, he should talk about failures.

252 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:32:09am

re: #249 Amory Blaine

Yellow tie? Must be retreating.

That’s his “power color”.

253 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:32:32am

re: #248 HappyWarrior

Stands about 5 foot 2, and her name is G-L-O-R-I-A.

From her head to her toes……Hey you about the same size as my wife!

254 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:32:34am

Now he sounds like he’s bailing out after all.

255 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:32:36am

re: #243 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

They’re chanting “Gloria”…WTF?

They’re calling on Gloria Gaynor to sing “I will survive”?

256 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:32:38am

re: #246 EmmmieG

Don’t tell Stephen Colbert!

257 Winny Spencer  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:32:41am

I have no idea what this man is about to announce. This is detachment from reality on an unprecedented level.

258 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:32:46am

re: #246 EmmmieG

The song writer needs a grammar lesson.

You can be an American.

You can be in America.

You can be lots of things.

You cannot be a country. I am very sorry. I hope this doesn’t squish your dreams, but…no. You can be an astronaut, a fireman, or the president of the country, but you can no more be America than you can be the Hoover Dam.

Damnit my dream was to be Yosemite National Park.

259 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:33:20am

Freaking hilarious.
No one knows wtf is going on.
XD

260 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:33:24am

A lobbyist lecturing on corruption.

261 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:33:27am

Other people playing the blame game must be bad.

262 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:33:38am

America deserves more than Herman Cain….

263 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:33:43am

re: #246 EmmmieG

The song writer needs a grammar lesson.

You can be an American.

You can be in America.

You can be lots of things.

You cannot be a country. I am very sorry. I hope this doesn’t squish your dreams, but…no. You can be an astronaut, a fireman, or the president of the country, but you can no more be America than you can be the Hoover Dam.

Colbert disagrees.

264 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:33:54am

I’m not sure what to think right now. Is he dropping out or making a third party run?

265 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:34:23am

What was that scream from the crowd?

266 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:34:35am

Besides being black, what exactly about him makes him “unique” in the annuals of presidential campaigns?

267 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:34:35am

re: #264 Lidane

I’m not sure what to think right now. Is he dropping out or making a third party run?

Building an ark.

268 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:34:42am

This is the guy who introduced Cain:

Army Says Improper Orders by Colonel Led to 4 Deaths.

269 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:01am

re: #264 Lidane

I’m not sure what to think right now. Is he dropping out or making a third party run?

He’s obviously learned a thing or two from Trump.

270 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:03am

re: #266 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Besides being black, what exactly about him makes him “unique” in the annuals of presidential campaigns?

Pizza?

271 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:12am

How much is a kajillion, Mr. Math Major?

272 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:30am

“The media”. Drink!

273 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:38am

re: #266 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Besides being black, what exactly about him makes him “unique” in the annuals of presidential campaigns?

Nothing.

274 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:38am

re: #268 Charles

Guess he needed a public appearance.

275 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:49am

He’s conceding.

276 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:50am

re: #271 Sionainn

I think it’s the amount of Ubekibekistan currency equivalent to a dollar…

277 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:35:59am

They even segregated the watermelons? That was harsh.

278 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:36:07am

“We showed… you can be a lying, cheating buffoon and still run for president!”

279 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:36:23am

Yeah, even better, let’s get Joe the Fucking Plumber to run, m’kay?

Gahhhhh!!!

280 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:36:37am

re: #275 Amory Blaine

He’s conceding.

Is he? I can’t tell yet.

281 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:36:41am

Why on earth would he run 3rd party? I dont get why people are suggesting that.

282 Winny Spencer  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:36:45am

re: #278 marjoriemoon

“We showed… you can be a lying, cheating buffoon and still run for president!”

But then again everyone already knew that.

283 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:36:53am

A Final Four reference? Really, Herman?

284 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:36:58am

re: #266 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Besides being black, what exactly about him makes him “unique” in the annuals of presidential campaigns?

He holds the record for most WTF moments, but that comes with an asterisk since the phrase “WTF” is relatively new.

285 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:37:08am

It’s like horseshoes.

286 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:37:08am

re: #281 Alexzander

Why on earth would he run 3rd party? I dont get why people are suggesting that.

Because it’s Herman Cain.

287 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:37:27am

Stay in the race, you magnificent, crazy bastard. STAY IN THE RACE! #Cainwreck

288 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:37:32am

re: #281 Alexzander

Can we pray that he would? He’d destroy even Romney’s chances of beating Obama…

289 JeffM70  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:37:32am

He’s in the Final Four! He’s got the balls in his hands!

290 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:37:45am

He’s bailing.

291 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:38:00am

He’s declaring success. He’s going out at near the top.

292 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:38:01am

Slightly relieved he didn’t announce he’s one of the Final Five Cylons.

293 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:38:08am

The crowd knows it.

294 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:38:11am

Yeah, he’s out.

295 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:38:20am

re: #292 negativ

Slightly relieved he didn’t announce he’s one of the Final Five Cylons.

DAMMIT

296 JeffM70  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:38:51am

God I hope the Mother Ship comes down to pick him up with “Everybody Dance Now!” blaring from its speakers.

297 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:38:58am

All right thinking people are sick and tired, etc.

298 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:38:58am

Oh dude, give it up already.

299 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:39:00am

Maybe he’s going to announce a Palin-like PAC and claim he’s more effective as an outsider.

300 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:39:00am

I hope the accusers push it all the way.

301 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:39:02am

Here we go.

302 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:39:07am

Here comes the fall…

303 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:39:35am

re: #296 JeffM70

God I hope the Mother Ship comes down to pick him up with “Everybody Dance Now!” blaring from its speakers.

YOU’RE KILLING ME LOL

304 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:39:47am

re: #302 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Oooooh, can I give him a real sword to do it on?

305 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:39:49am

“Regressive 9% sales taxes are for the common people like me!”

306 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:39:59am

Okay, he’s blamed the media, his accusers, political elites. We’re done here.

307 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:18am

He’s trying to spin one of the biggest fails in political history as a win, predictably.

308 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:20am

Family. Too hard on them.

309 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:24am

Narcissism on full display.

310 bratwurst  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:26am

If I had handled things the way he did, I wouldn’t be bragging about doing it “MY way”.

311 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:27am

re: #296 JeffM70

God I hope the Mother Ship comes down to pick him up with “Everybody Dance Now!” blaring from its speakers.

I’m more in the mood for Paul Stanley’s “Live To Win”.

Youtube Video
312 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:35am

The Court of Public Opinion = An Election

Sorry, but so it is.

313 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:41am

Is this how you save face? The man is out to get him. That mans name is Herman Cain.

314 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:44am

re: #307 Charles

He’s trying to spin one of the biggest fails in political history as a win, predictably.

Sad to watch.

315 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:45am

Of course that spin hurts your family. Should have thought about that before you did questionable things, Herman.

316 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:40:52am

That spin hurts my wife? No Herman dicking around with another woman hurts your wife.

317 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:41:05am

Good thing no one’s ever done that to President Obama & family, huh? ///

318 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:41:27am

“I ran for PotUS once, then I took an arrow to the knee…”

319 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:41:33am

re: #307 Charles

He’s trying to spin one of the biggest fails in political history as a win, predictably.

“From a certain point of view, I already am President, so I don’t need to continue running. Cain out!”

320 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:41:48am

GET ON WITH IT!

321 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:41:59am

Okay, God ref. Wrap this shit.

322 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:11am

re: #317 CuriousLurker

Good thing no one’s ever done that to President Obama & family, huh? ///

Yeah the right wingers in the media have been nothing but excellent to Mrs. Obama and Raymond Shaw is the most gentle and kind man I’ve ever known.

323 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:16am
Youtube Video

From Nazareth

324 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:22am

G-L-O-R-I-A!

325 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:24am

He may not be able to handle the 3am phone call, but he’s proven on the 4:26am text.

326 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:26am

re: #299 Killgore Trout

Maybe he’s going to announce a Palin-like PAC and claim he’s more effective as an outsider.

If he’s still talking, that’s my guess. Or the expected Fox News “analyst” offer hasn’t come in yet and he’s using this as his audition.

327 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:29am

I wonder how his wife is really doing and whether she believes his bullshit.

Maybe he granted this to him so that they could exit with dignity and go to counselling or whatever. He is lucky she didn’t cut his balls off.

328 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:31am

It’s not what I did to my wife it’s them other people. Now God forgives him along with his wife. HUBRIS JUST LANDED A JUMBO JET.

329 Winny Spencer  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:37am

He’s out.

330 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:47am

Uh oh plan B

331 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:48am

Plan B?

332 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:57am

Plan B? Isn’t that verboten in the GOP?

333 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:42:59am

ROFL

334 bratwurst  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:07am

re: #319 Charleston Chew

“From a certain point of view, I already am President, so I don’t need to continue running. Cain out!”

From the same school of thought as Sarah Palin’s insistence that she would have been a quitter by NOT quitting as governor.

335 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:14am

Plan B has better toppings.

336 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:14am

Oh, crap, it is a thrice-Goddamned PAC…

337 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:15am

LOL he had us going there!

338 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:17am

He basically commandeered an entire hour of news here for himself.

339 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:17am

Wolfrum William K. Wolfrum
“These false allegations are not true! So, I quit.”

340 Political Atheist  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:22am

Suspending?! Like he might come back?

341 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:23am

he should’ve just walked out and said “peace out, bitches!” and then pimp-walked out while Eye of the Tiger played. #cainwreck #p2 #TFY

342 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:27am

BUT CONTINUE TO GIVE ME MONEY, OK YOU GUYS? OK.

343 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:28am

Suspending his campaign…but not quitting. Oh, good lord.

344 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:28am

Suspending, shouts of 2016. Distractions, hurt on me and my family.

345 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:30am

QUITTER!

346 wrenchwench  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:32am

Plan B. Palin-style.

347 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:36am

And now… the bail-out! “As of today, I am suspending my presidential campaign because of the continued distraction.”

348 webevintage  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:40am

Starting a PAC baby.
Grifters gonna grift….

349 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:43:55am

re: #340 Rightwingconspirator

Suspending?! Like he might come back?

Interesting choice of words.

350 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:44:00am

Now I really want to volunteer for the Cain campaign.

351 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:44:26am

It’s all about his selfless concern for others. //dripping

352 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:44:34am
Youtube Video

Final Herman Cain ad.
353 erik_t  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:44:36am

What a waste of fucking time.

354 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:44:54am

The money’s too good to drop out completely.

355 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:44:55am

You can lead a corporation and never be called a corporate leader, but grope one woman…..

356 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:03am

I’ll be on Fox!

357 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:07am

Yay for victim mentality.

358 PhillyPretzel  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:09am

distraction? Is that what he is calling this?? Oy vey.

359 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:10am

re: #351 CuriousLurker

It’s all about his selfless concern for others. //dripping

This campaign is a concern troll.

360 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:16am

Book! PAC!

361 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:16am

Sounds like Palin. Good grief, no one has tried to silence either one of those buffoons.

362 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:25am

CainSolutions.com

363 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:37am

Cain solutions. Wear latex gloves.

364 Killgore Trout  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:40am

re: #360 CuriousLurker

Book! PAC!

Website!

365 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:44am

Oh goodie:

[Link: thecainsolutions.com…]

366 Decatur Deb  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:48am

cainmutiny.com

367 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:45:58am

We the people, how very socialist :D.

368 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:46:01am

Awesome.

369 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:46:02am

THE MEDIA CLASS

*drink*

370 The Ghost of a Flea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:46:07am

re: #299 Killgore Trout

Maybe he’s going to announce a Palin-like PAC money-laundering operation and claim he’s more effective as an outsider.

I feel this rendering is more precise.

371 Olsonist  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:46:09am

Didn’t Ross Perot, proto Tea Party exemplar, suspend his campaign? Yeah, he did in 1992, only to resurface with 24/7 infomercials at the last minute.

372 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:46:28am

A bowel movement.

373 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:46:36am

Here comes the pitch: “For only $9.99 a month, you too can…” “And if you act now I’ll throw in a free set of steak knives.”

374 The Ghost of a Flea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:09am

re: #366 Decatur Deb

cainmutiny.com

markofcain.com

375 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:11am

re: #365 Lidane

Oh goodie:

[Link: thecainsolutions.com…]

“This website is not available.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

376 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:16am

9-9-9!

377 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:23am

All this through a website? *blinks* Web 3.0!

378 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:26am

LOL! The 9-9-9 plan. Seriously. I’m rolling.

379 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:33am

A foreign policy?

380 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:37am

re: #362 HappyWarrior

CainSolutions.com

I’m sure a lot of GOP big wigs consider this resignation speech a “Cain solution”.

381 Alexzander  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:39am

PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH

382 erik_t  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:41am

re: #373 Charleston Chew

I would like to form eight more accounts for the proper number of updings. You win the day.

383 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:42am

Wait—Web 9-9-9!

384 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:47:57am

I bet the other GOP candidates are like, “WTF, is he out or not? DAMMIT”

385 Decatur Deb  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:48:03am

Already sanity-independent.

386 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:48:08am

Privatizing the Presidency.

387 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:48:14am

That you’re not disappearing back under the rock from whence you crawled out from? You’re damned right I’m disappointed, Herman!

388 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:48:34am

re: #373 Charleston Chew

Here comes the pitch: “For only $9.99 a month, you too can…” “And if you act now I’ll throw in a free set of steak knives.”

Don’t forget your Gold Membership fees and the secret newsletter with added coupons for discounts on my books.

389 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:49:05am

“I’ll be making an endorsement in the near future…”

And so, the bidding war has begun.

390 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:49:05am

Oh, come off it, we all know it’ll be Newt…

391 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:49:06am

An endorsement? Newt?

392 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:49:12am

Judging by the comments there’s some kind of a Cainplosion going on.

393 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:49:14am

POTUS will be crushed.

394 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:49:30am

Cain will throw his crowd of 60 supporters to the highest bidder.

395 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:49:37am

re: #392 Sergey Romanov

Judging by the comments there’s some kind of a Cainplosion going on.

It’s the funniest political shit I’ve seen.
XD

396 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:49:39am

The irony of Cain complaining about dirty politics.

397 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:50:07am

Bye Herman Cain..
That was perhaps the dumbest speech I have ever heard..
You are done..
And how dare you bring your wife to this to go all thumbs up while you boned Ginger for 13 years…Who the Fuck do you think you are talking too?

398 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:50:44am

Don’t give up on us Herman!

399 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:50:50am

Well yea, actually, you just gave up, dude.

400 Decatur Deb  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:01am

Cain/O’Donnell 2016.

401 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:15am

Quoting Pokemon again?!?

402 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:19am

cainsolutions.com goes to a generic HostMonsters page.

Where’s the fuckin’ site, Herm?

Pokemon again. Oy.

403 allegro  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:30am

Pokey-mon? ROFL

404 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:30am

Cain/Pokemon

405 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:30am

So he’s gonna suspend — not end — his campaign, so he can continue to solicit donations. BUT he’s going to endorse some other candidate. Somewhere, Buddy Roemer weeps.

406 Political Atheist  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:41am

Wow. When you have to explain it before you say it…

407 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:48am

…quoting a Pokemon movie…yegods.

408 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:51:50am

Herman Cain is one delusional dolt. I wonder who gets his glowing endorsement.

409 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:01am

The Pokemon movie says where we are as a nation. *thud*

//We are so screwed.

410 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:07am

re: #402 makeitstop

cainsolutions.com goes to a generic HostMonsters page.

Where’s the fuckin’ site, Herm?

Pokemon again. Oy.

You’ve got to put a “the” in front of it.

411 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:17am

re: #408 nines09

The not-Romney of whatever week he gives it?

412 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:36am

Somebody fucking shoot meeeee!

413 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:42am

re: #373 Charleston Chew

Here comes the pitch: “For only $9.99 a month, you too can…” “And if you act now I’ll throw in a free set of steak knives.”

But wait!! Order now and get 2!

414 Amory Blaine  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:56am

He’s interested in uniting America?

415 bratwurst  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:56am

I know it is kind of a cliche…but I honestly do feel like I am dumber after watching this.

416 Lidane  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:56am

re: #402 makeitstop

It’s TheCainSolutions .com

417 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:52:56am

I wonder what the leaders of China think about this show.

418 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:07am

Conservative rage comes from fear and insecurity. If these people learned some humility and self-acceptance they’d be happier and more successful. There’s a reason No-Drama Obama is POTUS.

419 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:07am

PIKACHUUUUUUU!!!!

420 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:07am

That’s your problem, Herman. You love too many people.

421 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:11am

I want the last half-hour of my life back.

422 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:27am

Finally a decent song.

423 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:29am

re: #405 negativ

Suspending campaign didn’t help McCain, won’t help McLess Cain.

424 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:41am

re: #414 Amory Blaine

He’s interested in uniting America?

Yeah united we stand by closing mosques.

425 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:42am

What a star spangled clusterfrack of a mangled mentality.

426 sagehen  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:46am

re: #266 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Besides being black, what exactly about him makes him “unique” in the annuals of presidential campaigns?

Being black doesn’t make him even close to unique. Shirley Chisholm. Jesse Jackson. Al Sharpton. Carol Mosely Braun. Lots of failed black candidates.

Being a successful business guy who crashed and burned as a candidate is also not unique. Ross Perot. Steve Forbes.

427 Sionainn  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:46am

re: #415 bratwurst

I know it is kind of a cliche…but I honestly do feel like I am dumber after watching this.

The only saving grace was being able to share it with other lizards.

428 Political Atheist  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:53:50am

So who is going to market the Herman Cain bobble hip doll?

429 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:14am

re: #412 CuriousLurker

Somebody fucking shoot meee!

Okay!

*takes out the cake*

430 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:15am

re: #416 Lidane

It’s TheCainSolutions .com

Thx, got it.

431 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:21am

re: #402 makeitstop

cainsolutions.com goes to a generic HostMonsters page.

Where’s the fuckin’ site, Herm?

Pokemon again. Oy.

Is it possible they just bought the web address on the car ride over?

432 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:27am

Did we all just use drugs or was this all for reals?
Lol.

433 webevintage  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:35am

Pokemon!!!!

hahahahahahaha

That was a hilarious press conference AND he got all the major news organizations to help him grift.
BRILLIANT!

434 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:39am

re: #404 jaunte

Cain/Pokemon

Cain/Pikachu.

435 Olsonist  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:51am

re: #423 Sergey Romanov

Suspending campaign didn’t help McCain, won’t help McLess Cain.

Right! McCain and Perot. Any others?

436 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:53am

re: #432 Varek Raith

Cyber Drugs.

437 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:54:53am

re: #416 Lidane

It’s TheCainSolutions .com

Because if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

[Link: upload.wikimedia.org…]

438 Decatur Deb  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:55:14am

re: #422 CuriousLurker

Finally a decent song.

Thought he didn’t like mountains?

439 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:55:15am

re: #432 Varek Raith

Did we all just use drugs or was this all for reals?
Lol.

Flashbacks. Had to be.

441 What, me worry?  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:55:39am

Golly, I haven’t had that much fun in a long while!! I need to thank that man.

442 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:55:45am

re: #432 Varek Raith

Did we all just use drugs or was this all for reals?
Lol.

I think I might need drugs just to forget it ever happened.

443 PhillyPretzel  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:55:50am

re: #432 Varek Raith
I do not “do” drugs and I was watching Kimchi Chronicles.

444 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:56:34am

re: #440 Lidane

The Onion nail it again:

Rumors Of Extramarital Affair End Campaign Of Presidential Candidate Who Didn’t Know China Has Nuclear Weapons

But but 57 states.

445 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:56:40am

Fucking Neil Diamond. Perfecto.

Actually, a badly sung cover. Even more appropriate.

446 Charleston Chew  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:57:05am

I assume conservatives think of this song as a scary tale of horror: “They’re coming to America!!!! Today!!!”

447 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:57:29am

re: #440 Lidane

The sad thing is, Onion or not, that’s accurate…the ‘China may join the nukyoolar club” gaffe probably did nothing but endear him to the base, but Republicans in particular can’t tolerate sex sca—wait, if that’s true, why’s Newt our leader-in-the-clubhouse?!?

448 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:57:30am

Yes. He really did end his candidacy with a quote from the Pokemon movie. Comedy that writes itself.

449 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:57:30am

@Art_Guy1 lloyd
Shorter Herman Cain: I ain’t giving up this gravy train yet.

450 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:57:33am

re: #432 Varek Raith

re: #439 CuriousLurker

Yall’re jesn’ mah mahnd anyhoo.

451 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:57:47am

A magnificent performance.
*Claps*

452 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:57:48am

It not often you see a live Saturday Night Live broadcast on a Saturday afternoon. They say fact is stranger than fiction and that little discourse just sealed it.

453 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:58:08am

re: #448 Charles

Yes. He really did end his candidacy with a quote from the Pokemon movie. Comedy that writes itself.

Is that the quote from a song?

454 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:58:41am

re: #448 Charles

Yes. He really did end his candidacy with a quote from the Pokemon movie. Comedy that writes itself.

That was freaking surreal.

455 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:58:57am

Herman Cain, I don’t choose you!
GO NEWT!
/PokeGOP

456 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:59:05am

What Pokemon quote? turned it off.

457 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:59:09am

I feel like I walked into a Salvador Dali painting.

458 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:59:32am

re: #448 Charles

Yes. He really did end his candidacy with a quote from the Pokemon movie. Comedy that writes itself.

Nah, not ended, “suspended.” Which means he’s likely to try to play himself up as a “king-makers” in the months to come, on top of giving his “endorsement” to the highest bidder.

459 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:59:46am

“Just look inside and you will find just what you can do.” Wheee!

460 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 10:59:58am

re: #456 HappyWarrior

What Pokemon quote? turned it off.

He loves to quote from a song used in a Pokemon movie. This song supposedly played on TV during some Olympic games, so he saw it and quoted in his book and numerous speeches.

461 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:00:19am

re: #456 HappyWarrior

Afraid I did too…he just kept drawing it out with his explanation of why it was all right, so I turned off before the actual idiocy…

462 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:00:36am

re: #457 CuriousLurker

I feel like I walked into a Salvador Dali painting.

This is the biggest glitch in the Matrix I’ve ever seen.

463 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:00:36am

re: #457 CuriousLurker

I feel like I walked into a Salvador Dali painting.

Watch that watch! It’s sticky.

464 The Ghost of a Flea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:01:25am

Maybe I’m a monstrously cynical person, but does anyone else suspect the Presidency was never the brass ring, that this was always going to end as a grift?

465 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:01:37am

re: #458 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Nah, not ended, “suspended.” Which means he’s likely to try to play himself up as a “king-makers” in the months to come, on top of giving his “endorsement” to the highest bidder.

And by suspending, he still gets federal matching funds.

Good business.

466 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:01:46am

re: #462 Varek Raith

LMAO!!

re: #463 Sergey Romanov

Watch that watch! It’s sticky.

Ewwww!!

467 Political Atheist  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:01:59am

I heard a woman say she thought the withdrawal would go well, given all the practice Cain has had.

468 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:02:12am

I think he gives Newt his endorsement.

469 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:02:18am

re: #464 The Ghost of a Flea

Maybe I’m a monstrously cynical person, but does anyone else suspect the Presidency was never the brass ring, that this was always going to end as a grift?

Maddow said this was all performance art some weeks ago. I agreed with her then and this seems to prove it.
Lol.

470 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:02:25am

re: #466 CuriousLurker

Ewww!!

U sure it’s Dali? //

471 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:02:37am

re: #467 Rightwingconspirator

I was tempted to make that joke, but I thought it was in poor taste…but if we’re going there…

472 Decatur Deb  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:03:45am

re: #464 The Ghost of a Flea

Maybe I’m a monstrously cynical person, but does anyone else suspect the Presidency was never the brass ring, that this was always going to end as a grift?

Can’t say. How much has he tucked away from his pizza and subsequent gigs? I’m suspecting it was just a delusional ego-trip.

473 erik_t  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:03:52am

re: #469 Varek Raith

I’m in agreement as well. Maybe not performance art; more like Fox News audition. But Cain never intended to win this campaign.

474 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:04:01am

re: #468 HappyWarrior

I think he gives Newt his endorsement.

The highest bidder along with the commerce dept title.

475 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:04:43am

re: #457 CuriousLurker

I feel like I walked into a Salvador Dali painting.

I feel like I’m IN a Salvador Dali painting.

476 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:04:51am

Image: Hermain_Cain_pokemon-300x222.jpg

477 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:05:29am

re: #474 Stanley Sea

The highest bidder along with the commerce dept title.

YEah he wants a job. Gosh imagine him talking with foreign leaders. Train wreck.

478 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:05:49am

re: #468 HappyWarrior

I think he gives Newt his endorsement.

I can’t decide which one would best continue the lulz train. Newt has the philandering angle, Luap Nor has the weird fanatical supporters, and then there’s Manson Lamps Bachmann. The others are too bland.

479 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:06:04am

re: #477 HappyWarrior

YEah he wants a job. Gosh imagine him talking with foreign leaders. Train wreck.

USE THUNDERBOLT!!!

480 Charles Johnson  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:06:13am

The reason why he “suspended” instead of quitting — this way he can still continue to raise money for a nonexistent campaign. A scammer to the end.

481 PhillyPretzel  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:06:49am

re: #480 Charles
Exactly.

482 sagehen  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:06:58am

re: #478 negativ

I can’t decide which one would best continue the lulz train. Newt has the philandering angle, Luap Nor has the weird fanatical supporters, and then there’s Manson Lamps Bachmann. The others are too bland.

I’m just waiting for someone to write the Hunger Games/RPF fanfic version of the 2012 GOP primaries….

483 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:06:59am

re: #480 Charles

The reason why he “suspended” instead of quitting — this way he can still continue to raise money for a nonexistent campaign. A scammer to the end.

Where does the money go after the campaign ends unsuccessfully?

484 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:07:09am

re: #477 HappyWarrior

YEah he wants a job. Gosh imagine him talking with foreign leaders. Train wreck.

“Yes, I just got off the phone with Sergey or Serg or Steve from Beckastanistan or Takastani, you know.”

485 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:07:46am

Imani ABL
@AngryBlackLady
hahahahaha RT @goldietaylor: So Herman Cain got the whole world to tune in so he could tell us all to smell his ass? Seriously?

YES HE DID

486 Targetpractice  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:07:52am

re: #480 Charles

The reason why he “suspended” instead of quitting — this way he can still continue to raise money for a nonexistent campaign. A scammer to the end.

Which, I’m sure, the GOP will love him all the more for. *rolls eyes*

487 CuriousLurker  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:08:01am

re: #478 negativ

…and then there’s Manson Lamps Bachmann.

LMAO—you guys are killing me.

Gonna go make some lunch. BBL

488 jaunte  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:08:07am

@TSAgov: We’ve asked Herman Cain to head our Task Force on Making Women Uncomfortable

489 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:08:56am

re: #484 nines09

“Yes, I just got off the phone with Sergey or Serg or Steve from Beckastanistan or Takastani, you know.”

I promise I told him nothing, NOTHING!!1//

490 makeitstop  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:09:06am

re: #485 Stanley Sea

Imani ABL
@AngryBlackLady
hahahahaha RT @goldietaylor: So Herman Cain got the whole world to tune in so he could tell us all to smell his ass? Seriously?

YES HE DID

ABL nails it as usual.

491 HappyWarrior  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:09:10am

re: #484 nines09

“Yes, I just got off the phone with Sergey or Serg or Steve from Beckastanistan or Takastani, you know.”

“I think the Muslim man I just made a deal with was a Sunny Muslim.”

492 The Ghost of a Flea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:09:21am

re: #483 Sergey Romanov

Where does the money go after the campaign ends unsuccessfully?

It buys copies of his book.

493 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:09:49am

re: #492 The Ghost of a Flea

Huh?

494 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:10:10am

re: #483 Sergey Romanov

Where does the money go after the campaign ends unsuccessfully?

That is the million dollar question. Ask Sister Sarah.

It’s a total grift.

495 The Ghost of a Flea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:10:53am

re: #493 Sergey Romanov

Huh?

It’s one of the ways you turn non-profit donations into personal enrichment.

496 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:11:05am

re: #494 Stanley Sea

That is the million dollar question. Ask Sister Sarah.

It’s a total grift.

Is it the property of the candidate then?

497 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:11:39am

re: #495 The Ghost of a Flea

It’s one of the ways you turn non-profit donations into personal enrichment.

Ah. So he can’t pocket it, but can buy the books and donate them to an orphanage, right?

498 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:11:53am

re: #483 Sergey Romanov

Where does the money go after the campaign ends unsuccessfully?

Administrative costs. Prob. Anyone know about this?

499 Varek Raith  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:12:40am

Our campaign finance laws are a clusterfuck.

500 Kid A  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:13:10am

Congratulations, Herman, for doing the impossible today - You made Rick Perry look intelligent by comparison.

501 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:14:24am

That was fun. Gotta go.

502 RadicalModerate  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:15:04am

Shamelessly stolen comment from FARK.com article with the following headline:

“Herman Cain suspends campaign to spend more time with your wife” :

Like all great men, he ends his time in the sun by quoting a Donna Summer song from a Pokemon movie.

Thus adding yet another layer to the Cain comedy that just keeps writing itself.

503 The Ghost of a Flea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:15:15am

re: #497 Sergey Romanov

Ah. So he can’t pocket it, but can by the books and donate them to an orphanage, right?

Basically, like Palin and Newt political “PACs” you can channel that cash in ways to enrich yourself. The book-buying thing is just the most obvious. You can also pad your admin costs, hire family/friends at ridiculous pay rates, and maneuver personal expenses to look like PAC business. Giant for-profit scam, zero political motive.

504 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:16:22am

re: #503 The Ghost of a Flea

And no legal responsibility, I gather.

505 The Ghost of a Flea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:18:35am

re: #504 Sergey Romanov

And no legal responsibility, I gather.

Sort of like proper money laundering, the game is to make the cash flow look genuine.

506 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:20:17am

Fox is missing this point..Even some here..
Cain Said, After much prayer…He made this decision..after prayer and consulting with Gloria
How did that work out?
Cain: Dear Lord you told me to run…
God: I don’t even have you on my cell phone..
Cain: But you told me to run after I’ve been Humping woman for years…I am a man hear me strong…
God: Are you sure that was me calling?
Cain: Gloria is standing by my side..
God: Really? Are you planning on sex for the next 20 years?
Cain: After much prayer..
God: You are kidding me right?

507 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:20:29am

re: #505 The Ghost of a Flea

Sort of like proper money laundering, the game is to make the cash flow look genuine.

Running for the US President is a good business, huh.

508 _RememberTonyC  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:24:32am

Herman Cain’s campaign has been on life support for weeks, as I have pointed out many times. Today’s decision shows that at least one GOP luminary believes in euthanasia.

509 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:26:48am

re: #508 _RememberTonyC

Herman Cain’s campaign has been on life support for weeks, as I have pointed out many times. Today’s decision shows that at least one GOP luminary believes in euthanasia.

Tony! It’s Bedlam today! I’m not sure what party I’m going too…
fun day

510 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:30:24am
If you were wondering why Cain “suspended” instead of “ended,” this way he can legally continue to raise money for a nonexistent campaign all through 2012.

That he will get to just pocket after election day? Or will he have to give a percentage to the GOP or anything?

511 RadicalModerate  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:30:34am

Keeping in tune with movie quotes, the Cain campaign has gone from “Nine Nine Nine” to “Zero, Zero, Zero. Destruct Zero”

Youtube Video
512 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:32:41am

re: #498 Stanley Sea

Administrative costs. Prob. Anyone know about this?

Like huge bills for “meetings” and banquets at fancy hotels? And yeah, I guess “salary” for cronies who “work” for your “campaign.”

513 _RememberTonyC  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:34:45am

re: #509 HoosierHoops

Tony! It’s Bedlam today! I’m not sure what party I’m going too…
fun day

Hoosier’ … Go to the one with the friendliest chicks, the best food, and the most beer!

514 recusancy  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:35:05am
Herman Cain offered a unique and valuable voice to the debate over how to reform our country’s uncompetitive tax code and turn around the economy.

— Jon Huntsman

515 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:37:11am

re: #514 recusancy

That makes me sick—even Huntsman’s carrying TEA water if that’s an accurate quote.

And if he or Romney gets nominated, they might even be elected, particularly thanks to the voter suppression talked about in the last thread!

516 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:38:03am

re: #515 Chrysicat

He is carrying some tea water, but I think here he is just being gracious.

517 Stanley Sea  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:38:36am

re: #514 recusancy

— Jon Huntsman

Aaand the bidding begins.

518 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:42:16am

re: #513 _RememberTonyC

Hoosier’ … Go to the one with the friendliest chicks, the best food, and the most beer!

I just got a call from DC to take a survey.. Only my 2nd my whole life..
So Lizards my opinion counts tonight in DC..
/Tony Tonight is going to be fun
//And pretty much between between 1-5 I gave each party 2 or 3 tonight..I’m not impressed with either party that much

519 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:44:16am

re: #515 Chrysicat

That makes me sick—even Huntsman’s carrying TEA water if that’s an accurate quote.

And if he or Romney gets nominated, they might even be elected, particularly thanks to the voter suppression talked about in the last thread!

Huntsman could maybe, maybe win a general election because he’s sane. Romney … maybe.

But it wouldn’t be voter suppression, or voter fraud, or whatever either party wants to claim is at fault. It would be the economy.

I don’t think there’s any way there could be enough election fraud to hand a general election to any GOP candidate who refuses to consider a tax increase on the richest people in the country right now.

And if Gingrich is the nominee? They could throw out entire urban precincts and the guy will still lose. He’s repulsive, and there’s no way he can hide it.

520 funky chicken  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:46:27am

re: #518 HoosierHoops

I got a Newt Gingrich robocall the other day. And I’ve had several attempted survey calls lately too. I hang up on all of them, but I’m polite to the survey people. They’re just trying to earn a paycheck.

Newt Gingrich. Shudder. And I think he’s actually going to be the GOP nominee.

521 _RememberTonyC  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:47:01am

re: #518 HoosierHoops

I just got a call from DC to take a survey.. Only my 2nd my whole life..
So Lizards my opinion counts tonight in DC..
/Tony Tonight is going to be fun
//And pretty much between between 1-5 I gave each party 2 or 3 tonight..I’m not impressed with either party that much

Best games of the day are yours and LSU/UGA. Have fun!

522 albusteve  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:53:05am

re: #521 _RememberTonyC

Best games of the day are yours and LSU/UGA. Have fun!

are you kidding?….
NM plays Boise St!

523 HoosierHoops  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 11:57:50am

re: #522 albusteve

are you kidding?…
NM plays Boise St!

Bedlam..Oklahoma..
I’m amazed with the fan base…Hard core…

524 Decatur Deb  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 12:00:53pm

So, are we doing Huckabee’s sort-of debate tonight?

525 Chrysicat  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 12:01:50pm

Steve, are we talking a 70-point victory there or just 60?

OTOH, Wyoming and CSU could be interesting, since I think the Cowboys need it to get in a bowl…

526 sagehen  Sat, Dec 3, 2011 12:09:11pm

re: #519 funky chicken

I don’t think there’s any way there could be enough election fraud to hand a general election to any GOP candidate who refuses to consider a tax increase on the richest people in the country right now.

Election fraud can’t turn around a blowout, but a couple of points in a couple of swing states — I swear for all of today I’ll make only this one brief reference to purging thousands of legitimate voters in black precincts from the voting rolls in Florida, or deliberately shorting the number of machines in black parts of Cincinnatti and Cleveland.


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