Pat Robertson: God Told Me Who the Next President Will Be, But I Can’t Tell You

Passive aggressive messages from the Man Upstairs
Wingnuts • Views: 37,353

Religious right crocodile Pat Robertson said on his TV show “The 700 Club” that God told him who the next president will be.

But he’s “not supposed to talk about it.”

God did give Pat permission, though, to let the world know that He’s not a fan of Barack Obama.

Youtube Video

Sometimes I marvel at what an odd country America is, that there are actually people here who watch this repellent old fraud and truly believe he has a direct line to the Almighty — just because he says so.

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102 comments
1 Obdicut  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:34:55am

Check intrade to see if he made a bet about it.

2 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:35:51am

What if I pinkie-swear not to tell anyone else?

3 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:36:44am

BTW, I totally know who is going to win the Superbowl, but Jesus told me not to tell.

4 erik_t  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:37:12am

You can actually see his bile and hatred sucking in on his entire body, as if there were a black hole where his heart should be.

5 erik_t  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:37:24am

re: #3 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

BTW, I totally know who is going to win the Superbowl, but Jesus told me not to tell.

Duh, Tebow.

6 Lidane  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:37:41am

All these people claiming to speak for the same mythical sky father get confusing after a while.

Can we just fast forward to the end of the GOP primaries already?

7 Lord Baron Viscount Duke Earl Count Planckton  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:38:01am

Putin, who else.

/

8 Targetpractice  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:39:18am

re: #3 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

BTW, I totally know who is going to win the Superbowl, but Jesus told me not to tell.

Even if I promise to split the winnings?

9 Sol Berdinowitz  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:39:28am

People are free to believe in this sort of stuff but if we start electing them in large numbers we do so at our own peril...

10 Petero1818  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:40:20am

I think given the importance of this information, we have no choice but to waterboard it out of him.

11 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:42:59am

re: #10 Petero1818

I think given the importance of this information, we have no choice but to waterboard pepper spray it out of him.

FTFY //

12 Achilles Tang  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:43:18am

re: #10 Petero1818

I think given the importance of this information, we have no choice but to waterboard it out of him.

he's not Catholic. A few drops of holy water should do it.

13 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:43:33am

How about he writes it down on a piece of paper, and gives sealed copies to several respectable-type people, and they don't open them and reveal the results until after the election?

14 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:46:03am

re: #13 SanFranciscoZionist

How about he writes it down on a piece of paper, and gives sealed copies to several respectable-type people, and they don't open them and reveal the results until after the election?

You sound like you don't trust him?
/

15 Mostly sane, most of the time.  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:47:50am

re: #13 SanFranciscoZionist

How about he writes it down on a piece of paper, and gives sealed copies to several respectable-type people, and they don't open them and reveal the results until after the election?

I like that idea.

He has to apologize to God if he's wrong.

16 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:47:53am

re: #6 Lidane

All these people claiming to speak for the same mythical sky father get confusing after a while.

Can we just fast forward to the end of the GOP primaries already?

In U.S., Many More Dreading Than Anticipating 2012 Campaign
Seven in 10 say they can't wait for the campaign to be over

17 iossarian  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:48:23am

re: #15 EmmmieG

I like that idea.

He has to apologize to God if he's wrong.

Sackcloth and ashes will be involved.

18 iossarian  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:49:01am

re: #16 Gus 802

In U.S., Many More Dreading Than Anticipating 2012 Campaign
Seven in 10 say they can't wait for the campaign to be over

It's a fantastic waste of everyone's time, resources and enthusiasm! What's not to like?

19 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:50:11am

If we stop and think about it all it's truly remarkable. Our political system, this so called democratic system, is almost a non-stop clown show. 2 years into a presidency followed by 2 years of non-stop politicking from professional politicians and their surrogates like Pat Robertson. We essentially have come to the point where we only have 2 years of real governance anymore. In the meantime politicians, lobbyists, pundits and the media rake in huge profits and the American people are once against shorted.

20 Petero1818  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:50:22am

re: #13 SanFranciscoZionist

How about he writes it down on a piece of paper, and gives sealed copies to several respectable-type people, and they don't open them and reveal the results until after the election?

Yeah, he could give the envelope to Ed McMahon, and then he could wear a crazy cape and turban to open it...

21 What, me worry?  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:50:32am

"A house divided cannot stand."

So God is channeling Lincoln?

22 Amory Blaine  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:50:44am

When is Newman coming out with the Santorum style salad dressing is what I want to know.

23 What, me worry?  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:51:16am

re: #22 Amory Blaine

When is Newman coming out with the Santorum style salad dressing is what I want to know.

Dude! I just ate!!

24 lawhawk  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:51:26am

I know something that you don't. And I wont tell you what it is until it happens. And if it doesn't happen, I wont tell you that either. Because I've got G-d's direct line, and he's on Line 1 right now. /Pat Robertson

You can trust me. /Joe Izuzu.

I wouldn't buy a car from Pat Robertson even if I saw the damned Carfax.

25 Petero1818  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:51:35am

re: #19 Gus 802

If we stop and think about it all it's truly remarkable. Our political system, this so called democratic system, is almost a non-stop clown show. 2 years into a presidency and 2 years of non-stop politicking from professional politicians and their surrogates like Pat Robertson. We essentially have come to the point where we only have 2 years of real governance anymore. In the meantime politicians, lobbyists, pundits and the media rake in huge profits and the American people are once against shorted.

Ya think?///

26 jc717  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:51:37am

According to some sources, Robertson may be a schizophrenic, so it's possible that he really does hear voices in his head. But your point stands... why do we listen to people like that instead of putting them in a padded room?

27 Lidane  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:51:38am

re: #19 Gus 802

If we stop and think about it all it's truly remarkable. Our political system, this so called democratic system, is almost a non-stop clown show.

But America is an exceptional country!

Why do you hate America?

///

28 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:52:11am

re: #25 Petero1818

Ya think?///

Thank you Citizen's United!

America is officially one big giant reality show.

29 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:52:34am

re: #22 Amory Blaine

When is Newman coming out with the Santorum style salad dressing is what I want to know.

They're still debating whether to go creamy or vinaigrette.

30 erik_t  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:52:49am

re: #19 Gus 802

If we stop and think about it all it's truly remarkable. Our political system, this so called democratic system, is almost a non-stop clown show. 2 years into a presidency followed by 2 years of non-stop politicking from professional politicians and their surrogates like Pat Robertson. We essentially have come to the point where we only have 2 years of real governance anymore. In the meantime politicians, lobbyists, pundits and the media rake in huge profits and the American people are once against shorted.

We got two years of governance this cycle?

31 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:53:14am

re: #30 erik_t

We got two years of governance this cycle?

I was trying to look at the bright side.

//

32 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:53:53am

We are like the half-empty cup.

33 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:54:07am

re: #30 erik_t

We got two years of governance this cycle?

Well, not in a row, obviously.

34 Targetpractice  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:54:15am

re: #29 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

They're still debating whether to go creamy or vinaigrette.

Well, there went my appetite.

35 Lidane  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:54:21am

re: #28 Gus 802

Thank you Citizen's United!

America is officially one big giant reality show.

On that note:

Huckabee: Super PACs Are ‘One Of The Worst Things That Ever Happened In American Politics’

36 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:55:23am

re: #34 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Well, there went my appetite.

They're also talking about a whipped salad topping.

37 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:56:12am

re: #14 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

You sound like you don't trust him?
/

Well, it's kind of a cool parlor trick.

39 Targetpractice  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:56:59am

re: #36 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

They're also talking about a whipped salad topping.

Damn you, man! Damn you and the horse you rode in on!

/

40 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:57:14am

re: #16 Gus 802

In U.S., Many More Dreading Than Anticipating 2012 Campaign
Seven in 10 say they can't wait for the campaign to be over

I'm loving every minute. Mostly because I still think my guy is going to win, but also because I'm a shameless political junkie. What time do they start voting tonight?

41 sattv4u2  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:57:47am

Pat Robertson: God Told Me Who the Next President Will Be, But I Can’t Tell You

Pat ,,, I have an idea

Why not get an hour of network TV time Super Bowl night and tell us just before kick-off

It would be a ratings bonanza,,, just like when Lebron James (another "King", btw) had us wait an hour before he told us what team he would sign with

Then again, it could end up like Geraldo Rivera and Capones secret vault!!

42 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:59:00am

re: #29 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

They're still debating whether to go creamy or vinaigrette.

I discussed this with a friend last night who says it's got to be creamy--both thematically, and because the vinaigrette will cut the froth that is the key characteristic of santorum.

43 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:59:35am

re: #39 Targetpractice, Worst of Both Worlds

Damn you, man! Damn you and the horse you rode in on!

/

With chopped nuts mixed in.

44 Petero1818  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:00:10pm

re: #40 SanFranciscoZionist

I'm loving every minute. Mostly because I still think my guy is going to win, but also because I'm a shameless political junkie. What time do they start voting tonight?

I have to confess, I love it too. but being Canadian, its easy to watch and laugh. If I was American, I think the frustration would gnaw at me too much to enjoy it.

45 Targetpractice  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:00:13pm

re: #43 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

With chopped nuts mixed in.

A pox upon your house!

/

46 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:00:26pm

re: #40 SanFranciscoZionist

I'm loving every minute. Mostly because I still think my guy is going to win, but also because I'm a shameless political junkie. What time do they start voting tonight?

Don't know. I'd have to Google.

47 allegro  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:00:28pm

I thought TV had gone about as low as possible, then I just saw this, premieres tonight:

Celebrity Wife Swap

Gary Busey/Ted Haggart: In the series premiere of this spin-off of "Wife Swap," the pious wife of Ted Haggart goes to a home that rejects organized religion when she swaps with the spiritually open fiancee of Gary Busey.

What could go wrong?

48 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:00:52pm

re: #42 SanFranciscoZionist

I discussed this with a friend last night who says it's got to be creamy--both thematically, and because the vinaigrette will cut the froth that is the key characteristic of santorum.

I would tend to agree.

Ranch or Caesar? Or do we dare and go Bleu Cheese?

49 erik_t  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:01:30pm

re: #40 SanFranciscoZionist

I'm loving every minute. Mostly because I still think my guy is going to win, but also because I'm a shameless political junkie. What time do they start voting tonight?

I believe shit starts happening at 7pm CST.

50 Eventual Carrion  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:01:49pm

re: #5 erik_t

Duh, Tebow.

NO, the Steelers will prevail !!!!

51 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:01:53pm

re: #47 allegro

I thought TV had gone about as low as possible, then I just saw this, premieres tonight:

What could go wrong?

Busey could slip his collar and take out a cameraman.

52 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:01:55pm

"I created jobs! Many in fact. I had to hire at least 24 people at Bain Capital so we could fire 20,000 somewhere else." -- Mitt Roamknees

53 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:04:03pm

He also "created jobs" by being a front man for the Utah Olympics...

Which was funded by state and federal monies.

But state and federal spending on these sorts of things are bad. M'kay!

//

54 recusancy  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:04:27pm
55 sattv4u2  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:04:30pm

re: #19 Gus 802

We essentially have come to the point where we only have 2 years of real governance anymore.

Not really

There's a house election in there, so those people are running for re-election a nano second after they are sworn in, if not prior!

56 aagcobb  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:05:07pm

And if the economic collapse Robertson predicts doesn't occur, think it will ever be mentioned again on CBN? They'll all just forget God lied to him.

57 Achilles Tang  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:06:09pm

Obviously God is very interested in this election, or he wouldn't have waited around 13.7 billion years for it.

58 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:06:27pm

re: #56 aagcobb

And if the economic collapse Robertson predicts doesn't occur, think it will ever be mentioned again on CBN? They'll all just forget God lied to him.

The Religious Right has a vested interest in bringing about a worst case scenario.

59 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:06:58pm

re: #55 sattv4u2

We essentially have come to the point where we only have 2 years of real governance anymore.

Not really

There's a house election in there, so those people are running for re-election a nano second after they are sworn in, if not prior!

I know. With the overlap we get down to far less than 2 years. Such as the 2010 election which almost took a whole year. I think it's high time we as a nation considered consolidating all of these elections into a 2 month span -- with alignment of terms. Primaries should be held nationwide within a stated span of time either within a few days but less than 30 days.

60 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:07:32pm

re: #57 Naso Tang

Obviously God is very interested in this election, or he wouldn't have waited around 13.7 billion years for it.

This year's Presidential election will be the most important presidential election in 2012.
/

61 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:07:50pm

re: #54 recusancy

TNC compares Ron Paul to Louis Farrakhan.

Paged

Both are becoming the favorites of the left-right confederate coffeeklatch of crankodoodles.

62 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:08:55pm

re: #61 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Both are becoming the favorites of the left-right confederate coffeeklatch of crankodoodles.

I sense an updated Odd Couple coming soon to a TV network near you.

63 Achilles Tang  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:09:22pm

re: #59 Gus 802

Might as well throw in 2 month term limits while at it, since that seems to be the going attention span anyway.

64 sattv4u2  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:10:39pm

re: #63 Naso Tang

Might as well throw in 2 month term limits while at it, since that seems to be the going attention span anyway.

I can pay attention longer than tha,,,,,, oh,, look ,, a butterfly!!

65 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:10:48pm

re: #63 Naso Tang

Might as well throw in 2 month term limits while at it, since that seems to be the going attention span anyway.

How long was Kim Kardashian married? We could use that as the base term limit.

66 Targetpractice  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:10:51pm

re: #55 sattv4u2

We essentially have come to the point where we only have 2 years of real governance anymore.

Not really

There's a house election in there, so those people are running for re-election a nano second after they are sworn in, if not prior!

Everybody's always running for something, whether it be for reelection, for election to higher office, or simply for a more powerful committee chair.

67 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:11:02pm

re: #61 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Both are becoming the favorites of the left-right confederate coffeeklatch of crankodoodles.

Example: [Link: www.activistpost.com...] (caution: gateway hate site)

68 iossarian  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:11:07pm

re: #59 Gus 802

I know. With the overlap we get down to far less than 2 years. Such as the 2010 election which almost took a whole year. I think it's high time we as a nation considered consolidating all of these elections into a 2 month span -- with alignment of terms. Primaries should be held nationwide within a stated span of time either within a few days but less than 30 days.

Very sensible but will never happen due to the First Amendment/money-is-speech lunatics.

69 engineer cat  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:11:20pm

"it's an economic collapse"

i'm still not buying yer durn gold

70 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:11:48pm

re: #68 iossarian

Very sensible but will never happen due to the First Amendment/money-is-speech lunatics.

Yeah. And it's probably way too European!!11ty

71 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:11:55pm

Looks like Newt's jumped on the bandwagon.

Gingrich: I ‘Wouldn’t Make Exceptions’ For Abortions In Cases Of Rape Or Incest

Q: I know you’re pro-life, but do you make exceptions for rape and incest?

GINGRICH: No, I wouldn’t make exceptions. What I would try to do is create a program that would enable women in those circumstances to have support and help them through whatever process they needed both in terms of counseling and in terms of if they wanted to give up the baby for adoption.

72 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:12:24pm

re: #71 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Looks like Newt's jumped on the bandwagon.

Gingrich: I ‘Wouldn’t Make Exceptions’ For Abortions In Cases Of Rape Or Incest

Yippee!

//

73 makeitstop  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:12:47pm

re: #19 Gus 802

If we stop and think about it all it's truly remarkable. Our political system, this so called democratic system, is almost a non-stop clown show. 2 years into a presidency followed by 2 years of non-stop politicking from professional politicians and their surrogates like Pat Robertson. We essentially have come to the point where we only have 2 years of real governance anymore. In the meantime politicians, lobbyists, pundits and the media rake in huge profits and the American people are once against shorted.

Don't forget the first two years, which are at least partially consumed by campaigning for mid-term elections - which means that at least half of the legislative branch is taking their eye off the ball.

So that leaves us with 1 year of actual governance - which the Republicans kill by obstructionism. And that leaves us with a big fat goose egg of governance.

74 brennant  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:13:15pm

re: #71 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Looks like Newt's jumped on the bandwagon.

Gingrich: I ‘Wouldn’t Make Exceptions’ For Abortions In Cases Of Rape Or Incest

Smaller government! Wait, er...

75 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:14:47pm

re: #71 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Looks like Newt's jumped on the bandwagon.

Gingrich: I ‘Wouldn’t Make Exceptions’ For Abortions In Cases Of Rape Or Incest

"GINGRICH: No, I wouldn’t make exceptions. What I would try to do is create a program that would enable women in those circumstances to have support and help them through whatever process they needed both in terms of counseling and in terms of if they wanted to give up the baby for adoption."

Raped woman as baby-mill; great news for conservative "prolife" adoption racket.

76 makeitstop  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:15:24pm

I know this should have gone in the Santorum thread, but Dan Savage asks a really good question:

When Do We Get to Meet Elizabeth Santorum's Imaginary Gay Friends?

Indeed.

77 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:15:39pm

re: #75 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Raped woman as baby-mill; great news for conservative "prolife" adoption racket.

Just so long as they don't use taxpayer money.
/

78 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:16:02pm

re: #65 Gus 802

How long was Kim Kardashian married? We could use that as the base term limit.

72 days. When you type into Google 'How long...', "How long was Kim Kardashian married" comes up before "How long was the Vietnam war".

My husband informs me that this period of time is now an official measurement for marriages, and is called a 'kardash'.

A shorter period, sixteen days, is called a 'sinead'.

79 brennant  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:16:20pm

re: #77 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Just so long as they don't use taxpayer money.
/

Ugh. Sad.

80 aagcobb  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:16:28pm

re: #64 sattv4u2

81 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:16:52pm

re: #77 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

Just so long as they don't use taxpayer money.
/

Well, Newt did say he wanted to "create a program".

Cons like that love government programs that limit freedom of people who make them nervous. Small government! States rights, hooray.

82 Iwouldprefernotto  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:18:22pm

God told me that Pat Robertson is gay. (not that there's anything wrong with it).

83 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:18:57pm

re: #81 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Well, Newt did say he wanted to "create a program".

Cons like that love government programs that limit freedom of people who make them nervous. Small government! States rights, hooray.

A smaller, unintrusive, government program meant to track and care for every unwanted pregnancy in the US, and ostensibly, track and prosecute violators.

84 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:19:27pm

@ebertchicago Roger Ebert
Why Rupert Murdoch is tweeting for Santorum. [Link: t.co...]

85 aagcobb  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:19:42pm

re: #81 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Well, Newt did say he wanted to "create a program".

Cons like that love government programs that limit freedom of people who make them nervous. Small government! States rights, hooray.

That's comunism! Just make them marry their rapist!

86 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:20:00pm

My quick take...

@Gus_802 Gus
@ebertchicago Plus the "war on religion" meme is a very big money making scheme for Fox News. Santorum fits in perfectly to that end.

87 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:20:08pm

re: #83 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

A smaller, unintrusive, government program meant to track and care for every unwanted pregnancy in the US, and ostensibly, track and prosecute violators.

Not to mention break up mother/child family relations, and give the kids to someone who feels entitled to it.

88 dartmydog  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:22:56pm

re: #7 Sergey Romanov

Putin wins everything!

89 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:23:20pm

re: #87 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

Not to mention break up mother/child family relations, and give the kids to someone who feels entitled to it.

I wonder if that program would come before or after Newt's program to put mirrors in space to reflect sunlight on the dark side of the Earth so we wouldn't need streetlights anymore.

90 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:24:10pm

re: #88 dartmydog

Putin wins everything!

In Soviet Russia, Putin wins you.


Wait a sec, thats actually accurate. Never mind.

91 Sol Berdinowitz  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:25:59pm

re: #90 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)

In Soviet Russia, Putin wins you.

Wait a sec, thats actually accurate. Never mind.

except for the "Soviet" part...

92 Gus  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:26:01pm

Twitter is over capacity.

93 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:27:15pm
Sometimes I marvel at what an odd country America is, that there are actually people here who watch this repellent old fraud and truly believe he has a direct line to the Almighty — just because he says so.

Full grown adults, even. :sigh:

94 sattv4u2  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:28:51pm

re: #92 Gus 802

Twitter is over capacity.

{burp}

Check please !

95 Kragar  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:29:04pm

re: #91 ralphieboy

except for the "Soviet" part...

Given Putin some more time...

96 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:38:16pm

Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow...

97 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 12:55:49pm

re: #72 Gus 802

Yippee!

//

I seriously think Futurama is wrong and that the Brain Slug Party has arrived one thousand years earlier than expected.
/

98 HappyWarrior  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 1:45:19pm

Once a kook, always a kook.

99 CuriousLurker  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 2:08:19pm

Sooooo, God's a Republican? Sounds like it based on what He told Pat.

You know what I'm waiting for? I'm waiting for the day that an effing fundie with a bunch of followers from any religion stands up and says:

"I have an important announcement to make.

After much prayer asking God for guidance, I finally got a answer. God made it clear to me that all these years I've been DOING IT WRONG. He revealed to me that I need to stop being such a smug, self-righteous prig and show some humility & compassion instead of living large and spending all my time bullying, frightening & excoriating people.

I'm going to immediately put every luxury I own up for sale, keeping only the basic necessities that I and my family require for a simple life, and giving the rest to the needy. I'm going to donate the TV studio to public broadcasting for educational programming that'll benefit everyone, along with a full operating budget for 5 years.

Once all my worldly affairs are in order, I'm going to hit the road and dedicate my remaining years to traveling around the country ministering to people by example—by being the kindest, humblest, most generous and compassionate person they've ever met. God willing, I'll be able to truly move some hearts and make lives better that way.

Before I go, I would like to apologize to anyone I have ever wronged in any way. I am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness. If there's anything I can do to make amends, please let me know.

Know that this comes from the heart—that I had an epiphany. I love God deeply and want to please Him, so that's what I intend to do: to strive with all of my might to reflect every good thing about God that He has taught us about Himself, and to harm no one. Thank you and God bless you. See you out there on the road."

Yeah, I know it'll never happen, but until it does I'm not believing any hateful fundie asshat is getting any kind of useful feedback from God. Sometimes I'm not sure they even believe in God, 'cause if they did they would do/say half the things I see/hear.

100 nines09  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 2:16:00pm

If Pat the Grifter has that kind of clout he should not need to ask anyone for a penny. But we know that Pat is only the latest in the line of snake oil salesmen and outright frauds who get rich throwing around words. Too bad the people who send him money are either stupid or scared or both.Pat is a tool, and it is not in any good deities toolbox.

101 Ojoe  Tue, Jan 3, 2012 4:33:42pm

Would it be OK to waterboard Pat Robertson to find out?

102 OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin  Wed, Jan 4, 2012 1:20:50am

re: #101 Ojoe

Would it be OK to waterboard Pat Robertson to find out?

N


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