Fox’s Dr. Ablow: Newt’s Three Marriages Will Make Him the Most Virile President Ever

A real howler from Fox News
Wingnuts • Views: 27,285

I may have spoken too soon when I declared Sarah Palin’s “dumb arse media” the totally ridiculous wingnut spin of the day, because Fox News contributor Dr. Keith Ablow has come up with an even more howlingly insane rationalization for Newt Gingrich’s sleazy personal life: Newt Gingrich’s Three Marriages Mean He Might Make A Strong President — Really | Fox News.

I have to say it’s incredibly amusing to watch conservative pundits and Fox News eagerly throwing all their vaunted values and principles into the rubbish without a second thought, to defend a former Speaker of the House who was forced to resign in utter disgrace.

I want to be coldly analytical, not moralize, here. I want to tell you what Mr. Gingrich’s behavior could mean for the country, not for the future of his current marriage. So, here’s what one interested in making America stronger can reasonably conclude—psychologically—from Mr. Gingrich’s behavior during his three marriages:

1) Three women have met Mr. Gingrich and been so moved by his emotional energy and intellect that they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him.

Right, his “emotional energy and intellect.” I’m sure the power and the money and the half million dollar line of credit at Tiffany had no influence at all.

2) Two of these women felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married.

His incredible virility overcame their weak feminine minds. Family values!

3 ) One of them felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married for the second time, was not exactly her equal in the looks department and had a wife (Marianne) who wanted to make his life without her as painful as possible.

Sure, he’s basically an ugly little troll, but the overwhelming, superhuman power of Newt Gingrich’s grandiosity was all she could see.

Conclusion: When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.

Because America is just like a philandering spouse.

Good grief. This has to be in the running for the most fatuous article of 2012, already.

And remember, Ablow was previously seen warning parents not to let their kids watch Chaz Bono on Dancing with the Stars, because it might turn them gay.

Family values!

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