TwitterFacebook

Daily Caller Writer Casts Off Chains of White Guilt, Embraces Inner Racist

Bicycle theft leads to race-based epiphany
WTF • Views: 30,736

A terrible thing happened recently to Daily Caller writer Mark Judge: someone stole his bicycle. The bike was a source of great joy and inspiration for Mark, so you can imagine how totally devastated he must have been.

But as many negative experiences do, this terrible theft had its bright side: it freed Mark from the chains of white guilt and allowed him to embrace his inner racist.

Even though he doesn’t know who actually stole his bike.

The end of my white guilt.

I bought a bike, and it quickly became a source of joy — and efficiency. D.C. is a car-heavy city, and the bike made getting around it a breeze. I could park on Capitol Hill, coast down Independence Avenue and take in the museums and cherry blossoms in a couple hours. The bike was a sign of strength, of determination. Of recovery. When a friend of mine, a social worker, expressed surprise that the entire time of my treatment I had never gone on disability, I couldn’t believe she would even think that I would do such a thing. One magical early spring night I rode through about half the city, going to rock clubs, coffee shops and museums, ending up on the lit hilltop at Georgetown University. Disability? Wrong answer.

But when I came back to my car after the stations, my bike, which had been locked to a bike rack on my car, was gone. I called the cops and filed a report. Then I walked around Brookland, the neighborhood around the Shrine, for an hour to see if I could spot it. I didn’t, but I did talk to some people who said there were a lot of kids around that day because the schools are out.

I went to college at Catholic University, which is right next to the National Shrine, and I know Brookland pretty well. It’s home to several Catholic religious orders (Brookland was once known as “Little Rome”). I could be pretty certain that on Good Friday a member of the Little Sisters of the Poor, which is across the street from where I was parked, had not nicked my bike. Neither had the monks at the Dominican House of Studies on the corner. The students at Catholic University were on Easter break. That left the neighborhoods around the university. Since the time I was an undergrad at Catholic University in the 1980s, most of the crime that has occurred on campus has come from those neighborhoods, which are predominately black. As sure as it took the D.C. cops forever to get to the parking lot to file a report, I knew that the odds were very high that a black person had taken my bike — maybe one of the kids that had been described.

This inexorable line of reasoning caused an epiphany for Mark Judge:

In that moment, I had a change of consciousness. Why was I assuming that the kid who stole my bike was acting out of some terrible pain, as if he had been directly under the lash of Bull Connor? What if he has a car, a nice apartment, a hot girlfriend and good health?

What if he is just a selfish asshole?

I think you mean, “selfish black asshole,” don’t you, Mark?

Yikes. What can you even say when an article like this shows up at a popular mainstream conservative website?

Jump to top

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!

Contact Us LGF Pages

This button leads to the main index of LGF Pages, our user-submitted articles. You can post your own LGF Pages simply by registering a free account with us.

Create a Page

This is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.

Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.

Last updated: 2015-07-31 8:11 pm PDT

LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds
Recent Pages
aagcobb
Iran Hearings: The Congressional Grilling of John Kerry and Ernest Moniz Shows How Unfit to Lead the GOP Is.
William Saletan, Slate: Iran Hearings: The Congressional Grilling of John Kerry and Ernest Moniz Shows How Unfit to Lead the GOP Is. Graham is running for president as a foreign-policy expert. But three hours of testimony on Wednesday about the ...

40 minutes ago
Views: 36 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
Lumberhead
Iran Hearings: The Congressional Grilling of John Kerry and Ernest Moniz Shows How Unfit to Lead the GOP Is.
When the hearings began more than a week ago, I was planning to write about the testimony of Secretary of State John Kerry and Energy Secretary Ernest Moniz. But the more I watched, the more I saw that the ...

43 minutes ago
Views: 62 • Comments: 2
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
Thanos
Review: Windows 10 Is the Best Version Yet—Once the Bugs Get Fixed
On fresh Windows 10 installs you'll probably never notice the difference, since it'll take some time to build up 500 or so entries. On my main PC with a full install of Office 2016, the Adobe Creative Cloud suite, ...

1 hour, 53 minutes ago
Views: 64 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
William Lewis
1000 Musicians “Learn To Fly”
So this gentleman in Cesena, Italy, really really wants the Foo Fighters to play there. So what does he do? He organizes an event of 1000 guitarists, bass players, drummers & singers all performing the Foo Fighter's hit, "Learn to ...

1 day ago
Views: 234 • Comments: 2
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 2
Eclectic Cyborg
MS GOP rep campaigns on pro Confederate Flag platform
So this showed up at my house today, it's an election mailer from one Jeffrey Guice who is running for re-election to the Mississippi State Senate. As you can see, it included an interesting detail... So basically he's taking pride ...

1 day, 2 hours ago
Views: 409 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 51 • Rating: 2
EiMitch
Cracked: 5 Sworn Enemies Who Formed Inspiring Friendships
I was catching-up with Cracked articles. I found an obvious click-bait article, "4 Sexual Preferences That Only Recently Became Taboo": cracked.com Knowing that, I read it anyway. From there, I read a depressing article, "5 Ways College Screws Over Poor ...

1 day, 7 hours ago
Views: 275 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
Skip Intro
Windows 10 is out. Help a guy out, please.
So I downloaded the Win 10 ISO image today, and started the install. The first thing I come across is a screen asking what I want to keep, my apps, data, and program settings, my data and program settings, or ...

2 days, 10 hours ago
Views: 571 • Comments: 6
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
I Stand With Planned Parenthood
Donald Trump’s Lawyer Threatens Reporter Over Ex-Wife’s Allegations: ‘You Cannot Rape Your Spouse’
A lawyer and spokesman for current Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump issued a series of vulgar threats to a reporter on Monday, while falsely claiming that it was legal for a husband to rape his wife in New York. ...

2 days, 13 hours ago
Views: 409 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 1 • Rating: 0
Great White Snark
Huffington Post Arabic-Smart Outreach, Sure To Infuriate Bigots
Dirct Link: Huffington Post Arabic - Kudos! Good to see this. The link takes you right there, but for us non arabic readers, a helpful translate panel comes right up. You who do read arabic can judge the content, ...

4 days, 10 hours ago
Views: 681 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 19 • Rating: 1
Iwouldprefernotto
More Edited PP Videos
NYT -- More Edited PP Videos in the Pipeline The activist behind the videos, David Daleiden, has said he has enough covertly recorded footage for perhaps a dozen videos that he could release, one a week, for the next few ...

4 days, 12 hours ago
Views: 386 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 2

► LGF Headlines

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Articles

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Pages

  • Loading...

► Top 10 Comments

  • Loading...

► Bottom Comments

  • Loading...

► Recent Comments

  • Loading...

► Tools/Info

► Tag Cloud

 Frank says:

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.