Daily Caller Writer Casts Off Chains of White Guilt, Embraces Inner Racist

Bicycle theft leads to race-based epiphany
WTF • Views: 32,017

A terrible thing happened recently to Daily Caller writer Mark Judge: someone stole his bicycle. The bike was a source of great joy and inspiration for Mark, so you can imagine how totally devastated he must have been.

But as many negative experiences do, this terrible theft had its bright side: it freed Mark from the chains of white guilt and allowed him to embrace his inner racist.

Even though he doesn’t know who actually stole his bike.

The end of my white guilt.

I bought a bike, and it quickly became a source of joy — and efficiency. D.C. is a car-heavy city, and the bike made getting around it a breeze. I could park on Capitol Hill, coast down Independence Avenue and take in the museums and cherry blossoms in a couple hours. The bike was a sign of strength, of determination. Of recovery. When a friend of mine, a social worker, expressed surprise that the entire time of my treatment I had never gone on disability, I couldn’t believe she would even think that I would do such a thing. One magical early spring night I rode through about half the city, going to rock clubs, coffee shops and museums, ending up on the lit hilltop at Georgetown University. Disability? Wrong answer.

But when I came back to my car after the stations, my bike, which had been locked to a bike rack on my car, was gone. I called the cops and filed a report. Then I walked around Brookland, the neighborhood around the Shrine, for an hour to see if I could spot it. I didn’t, but I did talk to some people who said there were a lot of kids around that day because the schools are out.

I went to college at Catholic University, which is right next to the National Shrine, and I know Brookland pretty well. It’s home to several Catholic religious orders (Brookland was once known as “Little Rome”). I could be pretty certain that on Good Friday a member of the Little Sisters of the Poor, which is across the street from where I was parked, had not nicked my bike. Neither had the monks at the Dominican House of Studies on the corner. The students at Catholic University were on Easter break. That left the neighborhoods around the university. Since the time I was an undergrad at Catholic University in the 1980s, most of the crime that has occurred on campus has come from those neighborhoods, which are predominately black. As sure as it took the D.C. cops forever to get to the parking lot to file a report, I knew that the odds were very high that a black person had taken my bike — maybe one of the kids that had been described.

This inexorable line of reasoning caused an epiphany for Mark Judge:

In that moment, I had a change of consciousness. Why was I assuming that the kid who stole my bike was acting out of some terrible pain, as if he had been directly under the lash of Bull Connor? What if he has a car, a nice apartment, a hot girlfriend and good health?

What if he is just a selfish asshole?

I think you mean, “selfish black asshole,” don’t you, Mark?

Yikes. What can you even say when an article like this shows up at a popular mainstream conservative website?

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2016-01-01 10:29 am PST
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds Tweet

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Donate with
PayPal
Square Cash Shop at amazon
as an LGF Associate!
Recent PagesClick to refresh
Why You Can’t Take a Flag to a National Cemetery Why You Can't Take a Flag to Arlington (or other national veteran cemeteries) Stars and Stripes, reprinting with permission an article from the Washington Post, explains why you cannot take a flag to Arlington National Cemetery (or any other ...
Anymouse 🌹
1 day, 9 hours ago
Views: 251 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 2
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Another Democrat Starting Trump Impeachment Process Come on guys, get behind the bill. All of us. we should get behind this bill as it emerges as fast as we attacked the BCA. Following Donald Trump’s equivocating of white supremacists and those who oppose them in ...
Unshaken Defiance
2 days, 18 hours ago
Views: 455 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Comments: 0
: 1
How Militias Became the Private Police for White Supremacists Magazine Guns to a protest? Clubs? We can not tolerate anti American militias. The bloody weekend in Charlottesville that began with several hundred chanting white supremacists on a torch-lit march will long be remembered for the searing image of a ...
Unshaken Defiance
2 days, 19 hours ago
Views: 446 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Starting in 2018, Police Dogs Injured in the Line of Duty Can Be Transported by EMS to Veterinary Clinics ST. CLAIR COUNTY, IL – Ambulances are for people. It’s always been the law of the land. In Illinois, it'll soon be "almost always". Illinois Governor, Bruce Rauner, signed House Bill 2661, Tuesday. It will allow police dogs to ...
Birth Control Works
2 days, 22 hours ago
Views: 415 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
The New War on Birth Control - Pacific Standard Although it wasn't clear at the time, the attack on Phillips marked the beginning of a new anti-contraception movement—conceived in the U.S., but unfolding in Africa, where women's frustrations with the dearth of safe, effective family planning options are ...
Birth Control Works
2 days, 22 hours ago
Views: 499 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
M83 - Do It, Try It (David Wilson Video) M83 - Do It, Try It video by David Wilson. Following the video's premiere at Sundance Next Fest it is now available to watch online. The track is taken from M83's seventh studio album Junk, available to buy & ...
Thanos
3 days, 12 hours ago
Views: 378 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Marvel’s the Defenders It’s all coming together. Learn about The Defenders from the stars themselves: Charlie Cox, Krysten Ritter, Mike Colter and Finn Jones. Marvel’s The Defenders premieres globally August 18, 2017, only on Netflix. Watch The Defenders on Netflix: netflix.com SUBSCRIBE: ...
Thanos
3 days, 12 hours ago
Views: 411 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
AG Madigan Issues Guidelines for Responding to Sexual Assault Crimes “We took a comprehensive look at why sexual assault survivors rarely report their crimes to law enforcement, and it was clear that our criminal justice system can and must respond, investigate and better support survivors,” Illinois Attorney General Lisa ...
Birth Control Works
3 days, 18 hours ago
Views: 391 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
This 91-Year-Old Woman Just Earned Her Bachelor’s Degree After 10 Years of Studying The back-to-school commercials have started airing. The summer reading lists are coming due. It’s almost that time of year. And if students aren’t quite looking forward to getting back into their classrooms this month for another school year, the ...
Birth Control Works
3 days, 19 hours ago
Views: 306 • Comments: 1 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Give the Gift of LifeCJ was a good kid, he was a gentle soul. I could see a little of his mother and father in him. I didn't know we were alike in one way, that we were both addicts, until he was brain ...
Shropshire Slasher
3 days, 20 hours ago
Views: 249 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0