Romney Slips Up, Reveals Alien Amercia Plot

Pulling back the curtain on a trans-universal scheme
Humor • Views: 23,656

Their conspiracy theories and fake outrages and persecution fantasies are so irrational and bizarre, we’ve wondered many times whether today’s right wingers might actually be from some other universe.

Well, today we have persuasive evidence that this conjecture, crazy as it might seem, is actually the reality. Because Mitt Romney slipped up and let the alien cat-like creature out of the bag: he’s not really campaigning for President of America.

Oh no, my friends.

In truth, Mitt Romney is trying to become leader of the parallel universe version of the United States, known to its weird wingnut inhabitants as “Amercia.”

Mitt Romney (L) performs Amercian ceremonial dance with Yog-Sothoth (R)

This explains many things; for example, Romney’s robotic mannerisms, his seeming inability to empathize with the concerns of human beings, and his strange stilted grammar. And the laws of nature must be different in Amercia, which would explain why so many wingnuts are Birthers.

The only question left to answer: is the Romney-thing trying to bring about an alternate universe End Times, merging America with Amercia and canceling out both universes entirely in a blinding flash of derp?

Stay tuned for further developments.

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Last updated: 2015-08-02 10:58 am PDT

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 Frank says:

You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.