And Now, the Complete Uncut Version of Italian Spiderman

An Alrugo Entertainment Production
Humor • Views: 34,313

Italian Spiderman:

In the middle of a party, an asteroid from a distant galaxy falls to Earth and is taken by professor Bernardi (Carmine Russo) for research. He discovers the asteroid has a substance that can create duplicates from any living being and decides that Italian Spiderman (Franco Franchetti), a fat, rude, and powerful superhero, is the only man capable to have custody of the valuable asteroid.

As soon as Professor Bernardi gives Italian Spiderman the asteroid, he is attacked by the terrible Captain Maximum (Leombruno Tosca) who is interested in using the asteroid for his own evil plans. Foiled in his attempt to steal the asteroid from Bernardi, he transforms the Professor into a snake. Captain Maximum later intercepts the Italian Spiderman and takes the asteroid, although he gives Italian Spiderman a chance to win it by beating Maximum in a surf contest. When Captain Maximum notices the obviously superior surfing skills of Italian Spiderman, Maximum attempts to win by cheating. His efforts fail, however, as Italian Spiderman summons the help of penguins (which hurl themselves at Captain Maximum and his henchwomen) and wins. When Italian Spiderman returns home, he is again attacked by Captain Maximum’s henchmen, where a tranquilizer dart causes the hero to collapse.

Waking up in Captain Maximum’s lair he witnesses how the professor is forced to utilize the powers of duplication on one of Captain Maximum’s henchmen. Italian Spiderman is forced to watch as the professor is shot by Maximum. The furious Italian Spiderman attacks Maximum’s henchmen, killing many in a surprisingly gory battle sequence. Despite Italian Spiderman’s efforts the Professor dies but in his last moments gives the Italian Spiderman the potion. Italian Spiderman again attacks the headquarters of Captain Maximum. Despite having the potion, Italian Spiderman overwhelms by his powers alone the newfound army (showing in the process to have a poisonous bite and removable moustaches that can double as razor-sharp boomerangs). Later, Italian Spiderman returns home with the Professor’s niece. When a gigantic Captain Maximum lays siege to the city, Italian Spiderman finally drinks the potion, growing to the same height of Captain Maximum and battling him until the titles roll.

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48 comments
1 Mattand  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 4:20:49pm

I like Italian Spidey's costume better than the new movie's.

2 PhillyPretzel  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 4:27:07pm

OT Is it me or has the karma number font/size been changed?

3 BongCrodny  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 4:29:02pm

Not far-fetched enough.

4 Mattand  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 4:29:22pm

re: #2 PhillyPretzel

OT Is it me or has the karma number font/size been changed?

One of Italian Spider-man's powers is to remotely edit style sheets. With his Spider Sense.

But now that you mention it, it does look a little bigger.

5 PhillyPretzel  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 4:30:29pm

re: #4 mattand
So you see it too. Okay it is not the heat getting to me. Whew.

6 Bubblehead II  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 4:43:52pm

Sad Charles, Very Sad. I don't think I could drink enough to even watch all of it without passing out.

7 Bubblehead II  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 4:56:27pm

Ummmmm, Charles, I have now used the pencil icon to edit my post (#7) thrice and it isn't working.

8 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:01:43pm

Despite being used in the titles all Feline Overlords deny any association whatsoever with this picture.

9 Interesting Times  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:02:26pm

re: #7 Bubblehead II

Remember the survival-guide page you were thinking of doing? Looks like the topic's become all the more relevant :(

10 Bubblehead II  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:03:06pm

Never mind Bubblehead II is on course for La La land.

Night Lizards

11 Gus  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:17:25pm

Back later.

12 Bubblehead II  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:21:55pm

re: #9 Interesting Times

Interesting. E-Mail me. I think my nic is blue. But If that didn't work, the Email is mmatthews6487@gmail.com.

Yes, Charles and monitors, I know this may violate the TOS. But it is a throw away account.

13 PhillyPretzel  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:25:28pm

::: watching Oscar Hammerstein II Out Of My Dreams on local PBS Station :::
[Link: www.whyy.org...]

14 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:53:31pm

40 minutes of slapstick in Italian? No way.

(Is there any nudity?)

15 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:54:36pm

re: #14 Achilles Tang

40 minutes of slapstick in Italian? No way.

(Is there any nudity?)

No. Almost as much cheese as the state of Wisconsin though.

16 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:54:59pm

Mamma mia!

17 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:55:31pm

As an equally goofy blast from the past... Here is McCain/Palin running for election in 2008 on cap and trade:

It really was a Reagan "free market solution" that we used to address acid rain.

OOps...

18 Achilles Tang  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:56:03pm

re: #2 PhillyPretzel

OT Is it me or has the karma number font/size been changed?

I was about to take a break, restart and trouble shoot.

I think the problem is that Charles actually watched this spiderman thing while coding something on another screen.

19 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 5:57:52pm

Anyway... I'm out for a bit and most likely or the night.

See you all later.

20 jhncsy  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:06:37pm

He's not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve.

21 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:16:32pm

Why is he called Italian Spiderman and not Italian Ronjeremyman?

22 SteelGHAZI  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:18:31pm

re: #21 Learned Mother of Zion

Why is he called Italian Spiderman and not Italian Ronjeremyman?

Same reason Japanese Spider-Man has a huge mecha.

23 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:22:53pm

re: #15 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste

No. Almost as much cheese as the state of Wisconsin though.

That's impossible, as the cheese found in cheese sections of the shops along I-94 between the IL-WI border and Milwaukee alone have more cheese by weight than even an Ed Wood movie!

/Semi-sarc, because some of those shops are mostly devoted to Wisconsin cheeses.

24 Charles Johnson  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:23:50pm

Penguini!

25 Vicious Babushka  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:27:48pm

re: #22 Artist

Same reason Japanese Spider-Man has a huge mecha.

26 Stanghazi  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:30:52pm

re: #24 Charles Johnson

Penguini!

Reminded me of the Sex crazed penguins. What a great page.

27 Charles Johnson  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:31:01pm

re: #7 Bubblehead II

Ummm, Charles, I have now used the pencil icon to edit my post (#7) thrice and it isn't working.

What happens when you click the pencil icon? I ran some tests and it seems to be working here.

28 Interesting Times  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:35:34pm

Heh:

29 Decatur Deb  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:38:46pm

re: #27 Charles Johnson

What happens when you click the pencil icon? I ran some tests and it seems to be working here.

My pencil has disappeared. FF/Linux.

30 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:39:00pm

re: #28 Interesting Times

31 b_Snark  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:39:55pm

re: #30 Dark_Falcon

[Embedded content]

That ran through my head too.

32 Decatur Deb  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:41:57pm

re: #29 Decatur Deb

My pencil has disappeared. FF/Linux.

Ooops. Was looking in the wrong box.

33 Killgore Trout  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:42:16pm

re: #29 Decatur Deb

My pencil has disappeared. FF/Linux.

My pencil is stuck in my nose. I've eaten the eraser and my shoes have fallen off.

34 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:42:41pm

re: #30 Dark_Falcon

And just to be clear, it is "Path2Enlightenment" whom I am calling an asshole, not Gus.

35 Decatur Deb  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:42:57pm

re: #33 Killgore Trout

My pencil is stuck in my nose. I've eaten the eraser and my shoes have fallen off.

Image by Don Martin.

36 Decatur Deb  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:44:27pm

re: #35 Decatur Deb

Image by Don Martin.

Image: hp2.gif

37 b_Snark  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:51:07pm

re: #33 Killgore Trout

My pencil is stuck in my nose. I've eaten the eraser and my shoes have fallen off.

I just watched my nose run down the street.

38 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:51:56pm

re: #33 Killgore Trout

My pencil is stuck in my nose. I've eaten the eraser and my shoes have fallen off.

Your 1/3 of the way to convincing the British High Command you're insane. You just need another pencil, underwear, and remember to say "Wibble".

39 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 6:58:30pm

re: #38 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste

Your 1/3 of the way to convincing the British High Command you're insane. You just need another pencil, underwear, and remember to say "Wibble".

More important question: What actions do Cat Overlords take if some of their staff members go crazy?

40 Dancing along the light of day  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:00:19pm

re: #24 Charles Johnson

Penguini!

Pigeon!

41 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:01:31pm

re: #40 Dancing along the light of day

Pigeon!

PLOP!

42 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:03:08pm

re: #39 Dark_Falcon

More important question: What actions do Cat Overlords take if some of their staff members go crazy?

Depends on the manifestation of the insanity. Certain actions are viewed as amusing or possibly more efficient than standard service. Others require immediate steps to replace the staff with new minions.

43 Dark_Falcon  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:06:08pm

re: #42 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste

Depends on the manifestation of the insanity. Certain actions are viewed as amusing or possibly more efficient than standard service. Others require immediate steps to replace the staff with new minions.

Killgore sounds like he's almost to that point.

Killgore, you'd better calm down before your cat decides you're nuts and drowns you in the frog pond!

/entirely kidding

44 Stanghazi  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:07:16pm

All I know is i have 3 hours till Mad Men. i'm going for the twitter spoil.

impatience=me

45 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:09:49pm

re: #43 Dark_Falcon

Killgore sounds like he's almost to that point.

Killgore, you'd better calm down before your cat decides you're nuts and drowns you in the frog pond!

/entirely kidding

Well, Killgore has done good FO service since he built the outdoor annex for their enjoyment.

46 Killgore Trout  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:10:47pm

re: #45 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste

Well, Killgore has done good FO service since he built the outdoor annex for their enjoyment.

They love it but they still shit on the floor. Such is life.

47 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:14:38pm

re: #46 Killgore Trout

They love it but they still shit on the floor. Such is life.

That should be a rotating title nominee.

48 Bubblehead II  Sun, Jun 10, 2012 7:56:06pm

re: #27 Charles Johnson

What happens when you click the pencil icon? I ran some tests and it seems to be working here.

I made my edits and clicked save, but even after a refresh, the changes didn't show up. Then again, this may be a case of PEBCAK(*).

* Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard


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