Joe the Plumber: Bible More Accurate Than Science Books Because It’s Never Been Revised

Wingnuts • Views: 31,079

In the constant effort to say the dumbest, most ignorant thing ever, Joe takes the lead once more.

How ‘Joe the Plumber Became Joe the Bible Believing Christian’.

Wurzelbacher explained how his pastor, who seems to believe that faith and science are incompatible, noted that while science textbooks have several new editions, the Bible has never been revised. ”Revision Seven.’ He said, ‘now look at the Bible, what does it say’? I said, ‘Holy Bible.’ He said, ‘see any revisions on it Joe’? I said, ‘no.’ He said, ‘the reason why is because this is God’s word…man’s always looking for an answer, that’s why it’s revised.”

Thank God the Bible has never been revised, by anyone, ever.

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61 comments
1 freetoken  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 6:53:34pm

Ignorance of the history of the Christian Church, and of the canons ("Bible") of said Church, is rampant. Fundamentalists eschew learning about these things, in particular.

2 freetoken  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 6:59:32pm

Gotta watch the whole thing to appreciate the span of derpitude.

Start at around 18:20 in this installment of the 700 Club:

[Link: www.cbn.com...]

3 Gus  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:01:05pm

The man is complete imbecile. The bigger question here is that we live in a society that actually rewards numbskulls like this and many of them end up affecting public policy.

4 freetoken  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:04:50pm

re: #3 Gus

He claims he's not a politician... yet he is running for a political office, and campaigning just like politicians do.

He calls his opponent a liar (in the full video, at the end).

He's supremely ignorant of the history of the "Bible".

He's everything a wingnut would want.

5 b_sharp  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:06:12pm

Copy errors. Translation errors. Intentional modifications. Selection changes.

How many changes does it take for the Bible to be considered no longer virgin?

6 Gus  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:09:10pm

We have truly reached a new low-point in American history.

7 b_sharp  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:10:01pm

I wonder if Joe the Plumber ever heard the following from his youth pastor in that restaurant?

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? "

8 Romantic Heretic  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:12:16pm

Man, I'm glad I'm a fast hand with the clutch on my brain. I damn near broke my brain when I read the headline.

9 Kragar  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:15:09pm

Who you gonna trust? Millennia old shepherd folklore or some high falutin' scientist who changes his story whenever he gets new information?

10 Kragar  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:16:51pm

Google search results for: Revised Bible

About 17,100,000 results

11 b_sharp  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:19:09pm

re: #9 Kragar

Who you gonna trust? Millennia old shepherd folklore or some high falutin' scientist who changes his story whenever he gets new information?

"The word of God is eternal and inerrant."
"How do you know the Bible is the word of god?"
"It says it is."
"Why do you trust that claim?"
"Because it's the word of God."

You're making me dizzy fool!

12 General Nimrod Bodfish  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:20:18pm

How many times has the Bible been revised after Biblical scholars correct translation errors from Medieval Latin/Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic to Modern English? I imagine a fair number of times since, what, the 4th Century? I bet it's been revised more than the longest running science books out there.

13 freetoken  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:22:11pm

I wonder what would have happened at that meeting with the young Joe and his religious mentor, if someone else sitting at the table whipped out an RSV or NRSV Bible, with the words "Revised" in gold letters on the front?

14 SidewaysQuark  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:25:11pm

Yes, "Never revised", making the Bible as inaccurate now as the day it was written (just like every other religious text). That's the whole problem.

15 erik_t  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:25:23pm

On that note, Facebook-Friend-Of-Friend assures me that Barack Obama is not a citizen because A) Joe Apriao saw a PDF and B) no other President even saw fit to release a PDF!!!1

I'm consuming this entire fifth of vodka. Please don't judge.

16 austin_blue  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:25:29pm

re: #7 b_sharp

I wonder if Joe the Plumber ever heard the following from his youth pastor in that restaurant?

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? "

"Joey, do you like to watch men wrestling?"

17 austin_blue  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:26:13pm

re: #13 freetoken

I wonder what would have happened at that meeting with the young Joe and his religious mentor, if someone else sitting at the table whipped out an RSV or NRSV Bible, with the words "Revised" in gold letters on the front?

'Splodey head?

18 bratwurst  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:27:27pm

My theory: this guy is a performance artist hired to make Palin seem like an intellectual heavyweight by comparison.

19 austin_blue  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:29:02pm

re: #18 bratwurst

My theory: this guy is a performance artist hired to make Palin seem like an intellectual heavyweight by comparison.

Nah, he's jest a feckin' eedjit.

20 Gus  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:33:37pm

re: #17 austin_blue

'Splodey head?

Liberals made them forced them to put the word "revised" on the cover!!

//

21 b_sharp  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:34:42pm

re: #19 austin_blue

Nah, he's jest a feckin' eedjit.

Yesir Bobby.

22 Digital Display  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:34:43pm

I'm shaking my head over this...
Joe seems to be an idiot here..Talk about apples and oranges
I believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God.
It is not a science book but a statement of Faith and History and all sorts of inspired writing. It is a Beautiful book that has inspired humanity to great heights of Love and great ugliness and inhumanity beyond the Pale.

23 SidewaysQuark  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:35:15pm

re: #10 Kragar

Google search results for: Revised Bible

About 17,100,000 results

Funny, "Science is crap" gives 90,600,000 results. Citing the number of google search results supporting a phrase seems to be about the only thing that's actually LESS reliable than religious texts.

24 Varek Raith  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:36:27pm

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you; Homo neanderthalensis

25 Amory Blaine  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:37:09pm

Science: A subject Joe loved so much, he threw it under the bus as soon as the first comical argument showed up.

26 b_sharp  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:39:04pm

re: #24 Varek Raith

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you; Homo neanderthalensis

That is just as wrong as this.

27 Dancing along the light of day  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:40:16pm

re: #26 b_sharp

That is just as wrong as this.

Nope, afraid to click, sorry.

28 Gus  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:41:07pm

Let's also keep in mind that this bozo, Joe the Plumber, is representative of the Republican Party.

29 b_sharp  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:41:25pm

re: #27 Dancing along the light of day

Nope, afraid to click, sorry.

It's OK, it's the site of a biologist. It's about a stupidly researched movie.

30 William Barnett-Lewis  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:45:50pm

re: #29 b_sharp

It's OK, it's the site of a biologist. It's about a stupidly researched movie.

It would have to improve by 2 orders of magnitude before it gets to only "stupid".

31 Kragar  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:46:12pm

Bristol Palin's reality show bombs with viewers and critics

Looks like Bristol Palin might be heading back to Alaska sooner than expected.

"Bristol Palin: Life's a Tripp," the new Lifetime reality show that follows the daughter of former VP candidate Sarah Palin as she moves to L.A. with her young son Tripp, debuted to dismal ratings last night. The premiere attracted a mere 726,000 viewers; by comparison, mama grizzly Sarah's TLC show "Sarah Palin's Alaska" debuted to 5 million viewers last year, and the "Dance Moms" episode that preceded "Life's a Tripp" last night on Lifetime earned 1.8 million viewers. "Tripp" didn't even rank among the top 100 cable programs of the night in the coveted adults 18-49 demographic.

32 Digital Display  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:46:35pm

re: #27 Dancing along the light of day

Nope, afraid to click, sorry.

Hi You! Got the TransAmerica Check today..Would you like a drink?
That's the last of em.. Now the planning begins for a new life soon..
The check came with a form letter that read we are sorry for your loss...
I'm sending them back a letter..
I'm sorry that I had to hire a high priced Bay Area Lawyer just to figure out your fucking paperwork..

33 Gus  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:47:59pm

Con artist for Jesus.

34 dragonath  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:49:56pm

If McCain's gifts to the world have this kind of half-life, I wonder what kind of people Romney is going to grace us with.

36 Gus  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:55:15pm
37 Dancing along the light of day  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:56:43pm

re: #32 Digital Display

Call or Ping me? If there's no BBall on...

38 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:57:30pm

Joe--

The Council of Nicea is just something the squid-like AIs from The Matrix want you to believe. The Dead Sea Scrolls and the Apocrypha just show that the Jews and Catholics are Agents.

Take the red pill, go further down the Jesus hole, and realize that the Bible was always in English and always intended to be subjected to Burroughs-esque cutup technique at the hands of doughy Midwestern-American demagogues.

39 Gus  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:57:38pm
40 b_sharp  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:57:55pm

re: #37 Dancing along the light of day

Call or Ping me? If there's no BBall on...

Ping you?
You naughty woman.

41 austin_blue  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 7:58:05pm

re: #31 Kragar

Bristol Palin's reality show bombs with viewers and critics

Awww...

Poor little dear. If she hadn't been an unwed mama, daughter of the Sarahcuda, she wouldn't have had any media exposure at all! Bless her heart!

Sometimes those 15 minutes really are 15 minutes. Well, plus the addition of time on Dancing With the Stars, of course. Add another hour and a half.

Fame!

42 Page 3 in the Binder of Women  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 8:00:57pm

re: #18 bratwurst

My theory: this guy is a performance artist hired to make Palin seem like an intellectual heavyweight by comparison.

There's a reality show as her award.

43 moderatelyradicalliberal  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 8:09:02pm

That's it. This guy can't be real. He just can't. Somebody needs to look through his bank records and see which Democratic organization is paying him to make Republicans look bad.

44 moderatelyradicalliberal  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 8:12:44pm
45 sagehen  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 8:35:36pm
46 labman57  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 10:13:51pm

Sanctimonious, scientifically-illiterate, theocracy-minded politicians and pundits such as Palin, Santorum, Perry, Bachmann, and Joe the Faux Plumber have redefined what constitutes science to fit their own point of view. Therefore, they equate real science with natural phenomena under the control of God.

What they don't understand is that science is not merely a body of knowledge accumulated over the centuries, it is also the process through which this knowledge is attained. And so simply declaring that something is true because it says so in the Bible (or any other literary source) cannot be construed as science if that "fact" or "idea" was not the result of a valid, structured, self-critical scientific process.

"God works in mysterious ways" is a religious rationalization for what these folks really mean:  "I have no freaking clue how natural phenomena happen, nor how the process of scientific observation, experimentation, analysis, deduction, and discovery further our understanding of the universe".

The allegories and anecdotes presented in the Bible are akin to a docudrama -- a fictional account of early human history inspired by and loosely based on actual events.

47 Mich-again  Wed, Jun 20, 2012 10:15:23pm

The Plumber's Minister should read from Thomas Aquinas on the subject of how faith and reason and how they must coexist if they are part of the same truth. What Thomas Aquinas wrote on this subject 700+ years ago is more sophisticated and enlightened than anything the Plumber or his Minister have to say.

48 hellosnackbar  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 12:46:43am

Some several years ago I was visited by three Jehovah's witnesses on a Sunday morning in South Africa.
I opened the door on hearing the knock and a middle aged man said:"We have come to bring you the secret of eternal life"
I had just been reading "The Ascent of Man" by my hero Jacob Bronowski .
It's an historical evaluation of how science and scientists throughout history
have changed the world.(one can download the TV series from torrent sites it's outstanding).
After a few seconds laughter I said that Leonardo Da Vinci,Isaac Newton,and
Albert Einstein were greater men than Jesus Christ and asked them if they were familiar with these chaps.
The middle aged chap said he thought Leonardo was a painter and that Einstein was famous for being clever; but knew no more.
My reply was that there was little evidence that Jesus actually had existed and that he should worship science and scientists instead as they were the people presenting the world with empirical miracles.
And that if he gave the subject some thought religion was worthless and an historical source of war.

49 ...stephen  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 12:59:37am

He's not merely wrong. Joe the Plumber is fractally wrong: no matter how far you zoom in, he's still wrong.

50 sizzzzlerz  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 6:19:26am

While this could possibly be the most idiotic statement ever, not to mention being wrong in every way, the scary thing is there are people out there, many with the right to vote and to breed, who agree with him.

51 William of Orange  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 6:48:08am

Dammit!

I knew it! The earth IS flat!

52 Tiny Alien Kitties are Watching You  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 6:50:14am

I guess Joe has never heard of the First Council of Nicaea in 325 AD where the first "Canon lists" were promulgated. Nor I suppose has he heard of the Council of Trent in 1546 AD. where the present books of the English/Protestant bible were decided while other books of the bible deemed non-canon were thrown out, (The Book of Judith comes to mind most readily).

Maybe he is just scared of learning too much about the history of the church, after all, it might weaken his faith to know what he is talking about?

/Why oh why did they throw "Judith" out but keep the drug trip that is "Revelation"?

53 Bulworth  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 7:03:06am

re: #3 Gus

The man is complete imbecile. The bigger question here is that we live in a society that actually rewards numbskulls like this and many of them end up affecting public policy.

In other words, he's a perfect fit for today's Congress.

54 SidewaysQuark  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 7:17:59am

re: #52 Tiny Alien Kitties are Watching You

I guess Joe has never heard of the First Council of Nicaea in 325 AD where the first "Canon lists" were promulgated. Nor I suppose has he heard of the Council of Trent in 1546 AD. where the present books of the English/Protestant bible were decided while other books of the bible deemed non-canon were thrown out, (The Book of Judith comes to mind most readily).

Maybe he is just scared of learning too much about the history of the church, after all, it might weaken his faith to know what he is talking about?

/Why oh why did they throw "Judith" out but keep the drug trip that is "Revelation"?

All true, but still completely misses the more egregious point in his "reasoning". The Qu'ran has undergone little to no change since its inception, and it's still completely factually incorrect.

55 SmithCommaJohn  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 9:51:37am

Thanks you SO MUCH for making this guy famous, Sen. McCain. He's a desperately needed voice of reason in today's political discourse.

Now if you'll excuse me I think it's time for me to down half a bottle of Popov and blow my brains out.

56 ArchangelMichael  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 11:01:38am

I bet he thinks it was written in English originally too.

57 Patricia Kayden  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 1:50:38pm

ROMNEYBOT/JOE THE PLUMBER -- would be a great Repub ticket. He sounds as stupid as Palin.

58 dmarkwind  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 2:11:12pm

Unfortunately, this guy’s pretty typical of the fundamentalists I know. “Faith” isn’t about truth, or reality, or even god – it’s about latching onto something that gives you emotional security and never letting go. That’s true of Baptists, Catholics, Jehovah Witnesses, Mormons, Muslims and whatever else have you and is why people who believe totally different things can be just as adamant about their faith and how it’s the cornerstone of their lives. It’s all about what gives them comfort. Almost nobody comes to faith through an exhaustive search for the “truth; ”for the most part, what they believe has everything to do with where they live and what their parents believed. Fundamentalists want to think they have a magic book from god that tells them everything they’ll ever need to know. They act like it was beamed directly to them from the almighty and they don’t want to think about the human hands and motivations it went through to get to them. Somebody told them it was “the word of god” often and authoritatively enough that they totally bought into it and anybody who says otherwise is treading on the keystone of their faith and emotional security (whether they really know anything about what it says or not). It’s the ultimate in low-effort thinking. They don’t want to hear that their holy book actually ties them to a whole lot of ancient ignorance. Do you believe you can get to the presence of god by floating into the clouds, that epilepsy or other kinds seizures are caused by demons, or that you really believe anything with that blood-pumping muscle we call a heart? The people in the bible certainly did, plus they thought slavery was endorsed by god (as long as it’s not them or anyone they care about). People from bible times didn’t know you could look through a microscope and see tiny organisms that cause disease or through a telescope to see other suns and worlds or even that China, Australia, or the Western Hemisphere existed. You don't want to live or eat or do much of anything like folks from 2,000 years ago did, so why do you want to think like them or buy into their ignorance, superstition, and backwardsness?

59 wrenchwench  Thu, Jun 21, 2012 2:46:59pm

re: #58 dmarkwind

Welcome, hatchling.

60 TrapGun  Fri, Jun 22, 2012 2:00:58am

Aren't his 15 minutes over yet?

61 krypto  Fri, Jun 22, 2012 1:56:40pm

And would you believe any science book that had never been revised to accommodate new knowledge since its first edition?

If it worked that way, then we would still be living in the universe according to Aristotle's "Physics," with the earth immovable at the center of the universe, with the sun going around the earth, with Jupiter and other planets being stars and certainly without any moons, with objects falling because all objects have their natural motion and not because of gravity, etc.

Wait a minute, that sounds familiar -- sort of like the universe as pictured in the Bible.


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