National Review Goes Full Caveman: ‘Men Select Mates for Fertility, Women Select for Status’

Throwback of the day
Wingnuts • Views: 26,987
Caveman via Shutterstock

You’re going to have to search a long time to find a right wing article as mind-bogglingly ridiculous as this crazy caveman piece by Kevin D. Williamson at National Review today: Like a Boss.

If this were at The Onion, there’d be no doubt that it was a parody. But this testosterone-drenched article lavishing praise on the manly manliness of Mitt Romney is totally serious.

They’re beyond parody.

What do women want? The conventional biological wisdom is that men select mates for fertility, while women select for status — thus the commonness of younger women’s pairing with well-established older men but the rarity of the converse. The Demi Moore–Ashton Kutcher model is an exception — the only 40-year-old woman Jack Nicholson has ever seen naked is Kathy Bates in that horrific hot-tub scene. Age is cruel to women, and subordination is cruel to men. Ellen Kullman is a very pretty woman, but at 56 years of age she probably would not turn a lot of heads in a college bar, and the fact that she is the chairman and CEO of Dupont isn’t going to change that.

[…]

Have a gander at that Romney family picture: five sons, zero daughters. Romney has 18 grandchildren, and they exceed a 2:1 ratio of grandsons to granddaughters (13:5). When they go to church at their summer-vacation home, the Romney clan makes up a third of the congregation. He is basically a tribal chieftain.

Professor Obama? Two daughters. May as well give the guy a cardigan. And fallopian tubes.

From an evolutionary point of view, Mitt Romney should get 100 percent of the female vote. All of it. He should get Michelle Obama’s vote. You can insert your own Mormon polygamy joke here, but the ladies do tend to flock to successful executives and entrepreneurs.

If you can stand it, read the whole thing. You’ll never see a clearer depiction of right wing values, and it’s not a pretty picture.

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2016-01-01 10:29 am PST
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds Tweet

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Donate with
PayPal
Square Cash Shop at amazon
as an LGF Associate!
Recent PagesClick to refresh
Greta Thunberg - Inspiring Others to Take a Stand Against Climate Change | The Daily Show [VIDEO]Sixteen-year-old climate activist Greta Thunberg explains why she traveled to America in a zero emissions boat and lays out the direct impact climate change has on the planet.
teleskiguy
14 hours, 35 minutes ago
Views: 121 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 3 • Share to Facebook
#Thegreatpoolpondconversion - 190908This is our 20th day, our 20th Sunday. Since we only work one day a week it's also our 20th week. And it was more of the same. Sort of. Following the design committee meeting last week, we started off ...
DangerMan
5 days, 19 hours ago
Views: 344 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 4
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
UN: Solar Leads $2.5 Trillion Global Investment in Green Energy CN) – As global superpowers grapple with ditching fossil fuels many nations have flipped the switch on solar power and other renewable forms of energy in the last decade, with investments into those technologies expected to top $2.6 trillion ...
Thanos
1 week, 2 days ago
Views: 535 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
#Thegreatpoolpondconversion - 190901Dorian. We're mostly out of it now. So we planned, then watched and then it turned north and became mostly a non event (for us).As of Sunday night we weren't even in the cone, though directly east 15 miles at ...
DangerMan
1 week, 5 days ago
Views: 523 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 4
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
TVs to Shoes: This Time Consumers Face Pain of Trump Tariffs Just in time for Christmas shopping season! WASHINGTON (AP) — President Donald Trump’s trade war with China, until now mainly an abstraction for American consumers, is about to hit home. Beginning Sunday, the U.S. government will begin collecting 15% ...
Thanos
2 weeks, 1 day ago
Views: 568 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 2 • Share to Facebook
Democrats Adopt Resolution Embracing Religiously-Unaffiliated Several of the candidates in the Democratic Primary have "faith outreach directors" to approach religious people (particularly Christians) about matters of faith and how they intersect with politics. It's good to see that the Democratic Party has become the ...
Anymouse 🌹🎃
2 weeks, 3 days ago
Views: 698 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 3 • Share to Facebook
The Wild Reeds - Lose My Mind (Live on KEXP)kexp.org presents The Wild Reeds performing "Lose My Mind" live in the KEXP studio. Recorded May 14, 2019. Host: John RichardsAudio Engineer: Kevin SuggsCameras: Jim Beckmann, Scott Holpainen, Kendall Rock & Justin WilmoreEditor: Alaia D'Alessandro kexp.orgthewildreedsmusic.com
Thanos
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Views: 569 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
American Horror Story: 1984 You're all gonna die. Watch the OFFICIAL TRAILER for #AHS1984. Premieres 9/18 on FX. Subscribe now for more American Horror Story clips: bit.ly American Horror Story is an anthology horror drama series created and produced by Ryan Murphy and ...
Thanos
2 weeks, 5 days ago
Views: 599 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 4 • Share to Facebook
Telekinesis - a Place in the Sun (Live on KEXP)kexp.org presents Telekinesis performing "A Place In The Sun" live in the KEXP studio. Recorded May 3, 2019. Host: Troy NelsonAudio Engineer: Kevin SuggsCameras: Jim Beckmann, Scott Holpainen & Justin WilmoreEditor: Scott Holpainen kexp.orgtelekinesismusic.com
Thanos
2 weeks, 5 days ago
Views: 568 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 2 • Share to Facebook
Live in Studio - Human Convention - the Reign of Kindo Kindo is on tour NOW. thereignofkindo.com 'Happy However After' Available for purchase and streaming everywhere. 2 x 180g Vinyl Available: candyrat.com Kindo is on tour NOW. thereignofkindo.com 'Human Convention' Written & Performed by The Reign Of Kindo: Performed Live ...
Thanos
2 weeks, 5 days ago
Views: 603 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 2 • Share to Facebook