Hilariously Crazed Wingnut Rant of the Day

To the bunker, patriots!

Courtesy of the always-diverting Free Republic, this is definitely our hilariously insane wingnut rant of the day, as one of the Freepers is PREPARING FOR POST OBAMA ELECTION.

Today, I instructed my wife to prepare for post Obama election by doing the following:

1. Close out our bank accounts, checking accounts, savings account.

2. Eliminate and exist from all medical service programs, insurance, and destroy all medical records and ID numbers.

3. Destroy and toss all cell phones.

4. Take out and smash all black boxes in our vehicles. Will put on the road my 69 mustaang.

5. Cut up all credit cards and call to stop all transactions.

6. Call and stop propane gas shipments, will now burn firewood. Already have more than 500 cord stacked as a backup.

7. Buy only the bare necessaities and pay all bills with a money order.

8. Plan all travel areas, use back roads to avoid TSA agents.

9. Do not use landline telephone only in an emergency.

10. Call and turn off Direct TV.

11. End all computer web services.

12. Build a gate at the end of our driveway and keep it locked. Inform all friends and relatives to call first prior to a visit so the gate can be unlocked.

13. Get involved more heavily with local Tea Party to establish a third party, no more money to the GOP under any circumstance!

The list may be updated to include other more secret actions that the government need not know about here!

I hope he remembered to instruct wifey to lay in a supply of toilet paper. It’s the little things that matter most in a sealed bunker.

(h/t: Lidane.)

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2016-01-01 10:29 am PST
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Recent PagesClick to refresh
donald trump uber alles I am the Super Classy Donald TrumpMy lies smile and never stumpSoon I will be President Obama power will soon go awayI will be fuhrer one dayI will command all of youYour kids will pledge to me in schoolYour ...
gocart mozart
3 minutes ago
Views: 13 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Should It Be Legal to Resell E-Books, Software, and Other Digital Goods? "If you're going to start reselling digital goods, who would be the fool who buys the original book?" asks Martijn David, the secretary general of the Dutch Publishers' Association. "A second-hand car is not new. A second-hand book is ...
Thanos
6 hours, 10 minutes ago
Views: 131 • Comments: 3 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 2 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Swiss Mark Opening of World’s Longest and Deepest Rail Tunnel Switzerland will celebrate an engineering marvel 20 years in the works on Wednesday: the debut of the world's longest and deepest railroad tunnel. The new tunnel through the Alps is 35.5 miles long, exceeding by 2 miles the current ...
Thanos
10 hours, 9 minutes ago
Views: 146 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 2 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Dr Heimlich Saves Choking Woman With Manoeuvre He Invented The 96-year-old American inventor of the Heimlich manoeuvre has used the technique himself to save a choking woman at his retirement home. Dr Henry Heimlich said he had demonstrated the technique many times but never used it in an ...
Thanos
1 day, 1 hour ago
Views: 275 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 4 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Push for Encryption Is Losing Steam in Congress, Despite Apple ShowdownI've never been in favor of a back door, however if there's an appropriately issued warrant and the phone manufacturer retrieves the data and unencrypts it without handing the tools to the police, I do not have heartburn with that. ...
Thanos
1 day, 6 hours ago
Views: 296 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 2 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Especially for the Indy Minded, Welcome to the Election From Hell The following author really captured what I sense, what I feel, what makes me despair of this election this year. My dear friends online, I confess I am far too independent for the comfort of many around me. This ...
Great White Snark
1 day, 22 hours ago
Views: 640 • Comments: 2 • Rating: 2
Tweets: 2 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Likes: 2
Comments: 7
: 10
GOP Budget Bill Would Kill Net Neutrality and FCC’s Set-Top Box Plan The proposal is the latest of many attempts to gut the FCC's authority, though it's unusual in that it takes aim at two of FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler's signature projects while also cutting the agency's budget. The plan is ...
Thanos
2 days, 5 hours ago
Views: 626 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 4 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Landmark Ruling Halts Unconstitutional Taxpayer Funding of NJ Yeshiva and Seminary In a groundbreaking victory against government sponsorship of religion, a New Jersey appellate court ruled that the administration of Gov. Chris Christie violated the New Jersey Constitution when it awarded more than $11 million to two religious institutions of ...
Thanos
2 days, 8 hours ago
Views: 500 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 3 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Dashcam Catches Moment Riverside Officers Save Man From Deadly Leap Into Missouri River K-9 Officer Andrew Marr with the Riverside Police Department comforts a man that he and officers Eric Strong and Jeremy McKown had just prevented from jumping from the Interstate 635 bridge into the Missouri River on Monday night. Courtesy ...
Thanos
2 days, 8 hours ago
Views: 650 • Comments: 1 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Obama: World Leaders Are ‘Rattled’ by Trump — and for Good Reason President Obama said Thursday that world leaders are “rattled” by presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and that he doesn’t blame them for being worried about the real estate mogul's political rise. “They are not sure how seriously to ...
Thanos
2 days, 10 hours ago
Views: 742 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 3
Tweets: 14 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 1