Hilariously Crazed Wingnut Rant of the Day

To the bunker, patriots!

Courtesy of the always-diverting Free Republic, this is definitely our hilariously insane wingnut rant of the day, as one of the Freepers is PREPARING FOR POST OBAMA ELECTION.

Today, I instructed my wife to prepare for post Obama election by doing the following:

1. Close out our bank accounts, checking accounts, savings account.

2. Eliminate and exist from all medical service programs, insurance, and destroy all medical records and ID numbers.

3. Destroy and toss all cell phones.

4. Take out and smash all black boxes in our vehicles. Will put on the road my 69 mustaang.

5. Cut up all credit cards and call to stop all transactions.

6. Call and stop propane gas shipments, will now burn firewood. Already have more than 500 cord stacked as a backup.

7. Buy only the bare necessaities and pay all bills with a money order.

8. Plan all travel areas, use back roads to avoid TSA agents.

9. Do not use landline telephone only in an emergency.

10. Call and turn off Direct TV.

11. End all computer web services.

12. Build a gate at the end of our driveway and keep it locked. Inform all friends and relatives to call first prior to a visit so the gate can be unlocked.

13. Get involved more heavily with local Tea Party to establish a third party, no more money to the GOP under any circumstance!

The list may be updated to include other more secret actions that the government need not know about here!

I hope he remembered to instruct wifey to lay in a supply of toilet paper. It’s the little things that matter most in a sealed bunker.

(h/t: Lidane.)

Jump to top

Create a Page

This is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.

Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.

Last updated: 2015-09-11 10:11 am PDT

LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!

Recent Pages
The Revenant
When all is lost, you fight. Watch the new trailer for The Revenant Movie, in theaters this December. Inspired by true events, THE REVENANT is an immersive and visceral cinematic experience capturing one man's epic adventure of survival and ...

4 hours, 31 minutes ago
Views: 84 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
I Stand With Planned Parenthood
‘The Daily Show’ Sent a White & a Black Correspondent to Learn About IMPLICIT BIAS
The good news is, several police departments across the country have realized implicit bias is, in fact, A Thing and have implemented anti-bias programs to combat it. As the two correspondents learned, programs include a deadly force simulator -- ...

12 hours, 45 minutes ago
Views: 237 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 1 • Rating: 2
Under the Lake Live Thread
Another Two-Parter this time, it promises to be awesome join me here!

1 day, 2 hours ago
Views: 242 • Comments: 25
Tweets: 2 • Rating: 1
Imagine Donald Trump as a Dystopian Sci-Fi Movie Tyrant ( Video )
Here's a video created by folks at the science and sci fi website io9. Its disturbing because Donald Trump really does sound like he could be Dystopian despot! Watch the video and you'll see what I mean. If you're a ...

3 days, 1 hour ago
Views: 386 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
Paul Canning
World’s Main Security Issue Today Is Russian Poisoned Public Opinion
I have posted before about how Americans seem to be unaware just how much Russians are being told to hate them. In this article Andreas Umland, a Kyiv based analyst and Senior Research Fellow at the Institute for Euro-Atlantic ...

3 days, 3 hours ago
Views: 443 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 5 • Rating: 0
Great White Snark
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished-Is PETA Run By The Insane?
I'll just add some bold and let that speak to my point. In the last 12 years, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has killed 31,250 animals, including healthy kittens and puppies. They have taken animals from people after ...

3 days, 23 hours ago
Views: 607 • Comments: 3
Tweets: 2 • Rating: 3
The Autumn DIY Project
Ok, so September is not exactly New Year, but as the academic term begins and schools go back following the holidays, it does feel like a fresh start. It can be a good time to tackle new projects, so why ...

1 week, 3 days ago
Views: 610 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 2 • Rating: 0
Allow me to wish all of those here who are Jewish a Happy and Healthy New Year. May you be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a good, happy and sweet year. May your weather not be ...

2 weeks, 6 days ago
Views: 874 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 9